My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "WASTED At Joanne's Show..."

Episode Date: March 2, 2022

In the extra helping this week, we hear from one of you who got battered before seeing Joanne on tour and what happened in the aftermath...! Plus, Vogue takes a deep dive into the 'weird news' and reveals all there is to know about balloon fetishes. If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

I brought in you protocol to the show because like firstly the girls coming are absolutely unreal

sound unbelievable and the stray testicle in there is also a great crack but they I don't know what they're because I've closed the bar testicle in there is also grey crack but they

I don't know what they're because I've closed the bar during the show right but they're up and down and in and out of the bathroom it's

I don't know if they even if they they obviously have no pelvic floor they have no pelvic floor between them so I've had to do this non-readmittance thing now

because it's just so distracting like it's like it's like they think they're it absolutely does and they're up and down and in and out not all of them obviously and it's distracting for other people um and there's loads of chatting going on and all that stuff so we were like how do we fix this because it was it was getting a bit like lion taming sometimes i was and then I was in this venue in Meath and

they were like can they go to the toilet during the show and I was like yeah of course and then I forgot of course this is before the protocol came in that to go to the toilet in that particular venue

they basically have to it's tiered down so they have to come down the steps onto the stage and walk like in front of you to basically stand on your feet

to get to the toilet so the next night I was like they're not get to the toilet. So the next night, I was like, they're not going to the toilet. Sorry, they're just going to have to fucking hold it. Like, it's an hour.

Like, come on. Come on. Like, I'm going to, when you buy a ticket to my show, I'm going to give you a free Kegel because there's something going on. Anyway,

so this young one, God love her, went to Asia and they didn't let her back in and she was kicking off so then she came in after and she was like fuck you McNally and she kicked over the baraka tube

which is like this like low level it was like the opposite of rock and roll it's like kicked over a baraka tube with sage in it even Gareth was saying he was like it's like smashing up Cinderella's what's it called shoe no sorry it's like smashing up Cinderella's he was like it's like it's like smashing up Cinderella's what's it called

shoe no sorry it's like smashing up Cinderella's chariot like it's like it's just this like kind of pathetic innocent joke

on stage anyway she was on to me she was like oh no sorry I was just trying to dry ride it and I was like you're ruining your hell but anyway we've moved on

she's like see you Sunday coming back and I was like at least she'll get the rest of the show in but yeah so just to say

if you're coming to the show which I hope you are bring a catheter or a wine bottle and relieve yourself in that because if you leave you can't come back in

there you go yeah relieve yourself into a wine bottle and then sell it to me because I'll probably drink it because I'll be like that is a delicious

I've actually drank my own piss as we know would not recommend no right one star one and a half no point five of a star I see things in the news

sometimes right and I'm always desperate to know I wonder what Joanna would think about that immediately me and Jo are nervous go on so it's kind of like a weird news story do you not read them like i go on to that section there's a section in a oh god just like crap that i read it's weird news stories google it

they're always great um here's a few that i found this week right a man who is sexually attracted to balloons has 50 000 balloons in his house he's had his name is julius he's had an obsession with balloons since he was four when his mom bought him one in hospital for more than five decades since he's been addicted to them so much so that he's actually got a balloon sanctuary in his house packed with thousands of balloons where he sleeps every night they're beautiful they're soft smooth delicate I have a connection with them intellectually I know that balloons are not alive but sometimes I wonder if it's my love for them that brings them to life well actually I think this is all adorable and quaint and innocent the only thing I was going to flag there was when he said I have a connection to them intellectually and I was like well that's

a problem but then he clarified that he meant intellectually. I know they're not alive. So that's why. So you're into Julius? I think Parity. Absolutely. Absolutely. There's lots out there riding zebras. Like, I think obsession with balloons. Adorable. Riding zebras. Once he doesn't become a magician, like once it's consensual between him and the balloons. I think the balloons are having a nice life he describes them so nicely

have you ever Jo I feel like we have discussed fetishes before have we we've touched on them yeah with the rats the rats in the jackets

there's a well if we haven't there's a study where they tried to figure out what a fetish like how fetishes come about and stuff and it's kind of like

your first sexual experience you know so it could be like a connection to a boot because you were in a boot i don't know when you got your first ride but um there was this amazing study done with rats and uh they put some of them in jackets and then forced them to ride the rats in jackets and then when they brought the rats back in they wouldn't ride the rats unless they were in jackets anyway look i'm not doing it i'm not explaining it well but it's it's absolutely fascinating we might touch more on that another time yeah but a balloon flash i suppose it's not the worst one another one right there's a company and it's even the headline is so stupid it's offering six grand to smell your dog shite for two months a plant-based pet food company in britain is offering to pay a dog owner

more than six thousand dollars to switch their canines diet for two months and keep track of the pet's poop smells it's seeking a dead this could be for me a dedicated dog owner to sniff their dog's poop to test the effect of a plant-based diet has on their dog's digestion, stool odor and general health. Well, you know what? It's kind of nice if you would do something like that for your dog. I'm not being bad, but this sounds like a job for Gillian McKeith. She'd love it. She loves an old poo in a box. There was one more, right?

A man racked up a 192 grand phone bill while he was on holidays a work phone bill can you imagine what's the worst you've ever done everyone's done that you know and you forget to turn off your 3g we did that when we landed in mali uh and you left your 3g on for like literally seconds and it was like 70 euro. What? Yeah. Crazy money. Like that man was clearly. Watching porn on 3G. I was going to say like,

come on now. You're not racking that up. Ringing your wife. That's a lot of fucking money. 192 grand. Imagine having to pay it. No, I couldn't. I physically couldn't.

Like it would make me ill. I'd be like, I'm getting a landline. I'm getting a landline put in. My mobile's getting confiscated and I'm just going to do landline calls from now on. There's actually landlines in the hotel room here.

God, I haven't had a landline in forever. Do you remember? It was so exciting. They'd ring and they'd be like, Joanne, it's for you. And, ugh, you'd just lie in your parents' bed

for hours. Like, you know the way your mates used to call you on the landline? Like, if my friends rang, because poor Neil's getting an athlete hiding on this podcast. This is when he was really strict again back in the day. And if my friends rang our landline past nine o'clock at night, like they were literally annihilated. Like they were just so much

trouble for ringing her house at nine o'clock at night Neil's such a bad boy I'm aroused by this is he seeing

anyone is Neil seeing anyone yeah my mom she's not that was actually the greatest time to go yeah

your ma there you go She's not threatening me. That was actually the greatest time to go, yeah, you're my aunt. There you go. Okay. Do you want to hear a listener email? You have to choose. Okay. Okay.

One is called, he was prepared. Another one, just a bit of crack the happening and a last one wasted at joanne's show oh well i want to hear just a bit of crack i want to hear first because wasted joanne's show i probably wrote that myself so okay hi ladies let me tell you about the best bit of crack my husband had. He worked away from home since before we were married and had been working in Nottingham

for about five months before the happening. We always trusted each other. Uh oh. There were never any dates. I knew because do you remember when I was talking

about a previous relationship who was like DMing all these young ones and then he was like it's just a bit of crack. So I'm guessing that's where this came from. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Never had any dates or worried about infidelity. October 27th I order a couple of pumpkins dates or worried about infidelity. October 27th. I order a couple of pumpkins for us to carve for Halloween. October 28th. We're discussing going home for Christmas and working out the logistics of seeing both of our families. October 29th. He called to check I'm okay.

Tells me he loves me and he can't wait to see me tomorrow. October 30th. Day of the happening. He's due home at 1pm. 9.30am. The shopping with the pumpkins arrives 11 46 i'm eating peanut butter on toast a text arrives to my husband to tell me he doesn't love me anymore and he doesn't want to be with me i shouldn't call him or text him he will arrange for his

belongings to be collected hold on that's between the 27th of October. And then this happened on the 30th of October. And then the happening happened five days before our fourth wedding anniversary after nine and a half years together. I don't know what kind of crack they have in Nottingham, but it must be good because I never heard from him again. What? That is shocking. Oh my gosh. Ghosted by your husband. That is like,

he needs, honestly, he's the worst of the worst. Do you know what, right? I understand people fall in and out of love. It happens on the regular, but people deserve an ending.

What a coward. They deserve a conversation. They deserve an ending and it's uncomfortable, but people deserve it. Oh my God. What a coward to just do. That's exactly it. Like she will never, deserve a conversation they deserve an ending and it's uncomfortable but people deserve it oh my god what a coward to just do

that's exactly it like she will never have closure now yeah do you know what though she'll have to find her own closure there's a very go to

follow all those therapists on Instagram just get it for free get closure for free but that man he that will sit

in him and will come back to bite him in the ass I'm telling you now and he'll have a shit life for the rest of his life people who don't build bridges

forgive make peace it eats them alive I'm convinced of it so she'll have to find closure herself some people just aren't in a position to

some people just aren't in a position to give you closure they just don't have the emotional intelligence to do it I just find that so mean and cruel to do it yourself and just unnecessary

oh and rest assured he will he will repeat that pattern in every single relationship he's in for the rest of his life trust me yeah and PS we think he's a big

fucking arsehole ugh it's really it's really made me angry okay another one wasted at Joanne's show. Hi guys. I went to Joanne's show

on Wednesday the 16th and I drank so much wine before the show I can remember Emma's set. Gas, but not yours. I think this is why I'm selling. Well, because people can't remember it

coming back. I blame the restaurant with the vino and espresso martinis on top. When I left your show I ran to Pierce to get the door at home. Me and my friend up the stairs and pierce when i realized i didn't have a leap card or a ticket illogically i decided to run back downstairs but instead of the stairs

i ran down the upward moving escalator only to fall and start tumbling down the escalator oh god the escalator carried my sprawled out body back upstairs where i was greeted by two very angry security he tried to kick me out that's from Laura my sprawled out body there was like there's no greater fear than

falling down an escalator oh my god the pain of that and then be carried back up it with the security being like yeah what are you doing there's tickets for the marquee in Cork so come back

or Cheltenham or Cheltenham or Cheltenham thanks so much for listening always appreciate it how formal is Joanne's out well thank you very much for listening.

Goodbye now. Jo, how come we don't ask people to like and subscribe? Everyone else does. Because you refuse to read from a script anymore. It was always on the script. Oh, was it? Yes. Yeah, yeah.

So you can ask them if you want. Go on, ask them. Would you like and subscribe? There you are. We'd love that, wouldn't we? Like and subscribe. Thank you. Would you like and subscribe? There you are. We'd love that, wouldn't we? Like, like and subscribe. Thank you. Would you like and subscribe? Thank you.