My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "We're all just basically pigs and snakes riding each other"

Episode Date: March 1, 2023

Joanne might get stuck in the Isle of Mann and have to scuba back for the Gaiety, but for now we've your emails. We're chatting weddings, jealousy when your fella's on holiday and road rage.If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] is going on tour in Ireland & The UK! Remember to check the venue websites as well as Ticketmaster! For more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Bo Williams and Joanne McNally. British comedian Joanne McNally. And British comedian Joanne McNally. Thank you. Thank you so much. She'll get in trouble for that.

Do you know how hard it was for me when I married Spencer? An Englishman. I don't think I've been forgiven. Yeah, well, it wasn't just an Englishman. It was like an Englishman on assets.

I know. I really, I did. I know I went too far. Like he's a Windsor. Like he's like aristocratic. I know. He's so posh.

And then everyone like, I remember when I first married him it would be like like everyone would think that he was dragging me out of the gutter. It's like excuse me where the hell do you think

I've come from? Like Spencer helping me out. I know. Whatever. Like you'd come out of a squat in Ireland. Yeah.

She had tennis courts in my did you know that? Shut up Joanne that is too far and it was one tennis court. Oh, sorry. I didn't know it was just one. Are you okay?

No, no. Because sometimes Aaron Frederick would be using the court and there would be no space for me. I'm joking. I'm joking, everybody. She's not joking. Or am I?

No, she's not joking at all. Do you want to hear some emails oh wow we got loads of emails give me the give me the give me some options there second baby road rage

men are pigs the wedding edition he's off on holiday I'll take I'll take he's off on holiday please really I would have gone for men are pigs myself now

hello Joanne and Vogue love the pod I'm just writing to ask for a bit of advice. I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years. We never really argue and have a good relationship. We've just started living together and he's told me he'd like us to get married someday in the future.

I do trust him and he's never given me any reason to date him. However, he used to live abroad and has a few friends from there that I've never met. He's just been invited to go on holiday with three of them, but they're all girls. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Is that it? No, there's more. Is there more? Okay. I guess this wouldn't really be an issue, but he has good friends, one girl in particular, and he told me recently that they used to get together on nights out.

I don't think they actually... Now, they haven't slept together. And I used to score my friend and he's completely a friend. And if we hadn't scored anyone else that night, we'd score each other, but we'd never sleep with each other just so we'd get the score in. Okay. Okay. I got you. So I understand that. Get the numbers up. Okay. Exactly. I don't know why, but the situation just makes me a bit uncomfortable. I've obviously stalked her and she's gorgeous. Oh crap. Which isn't helping my self-esteem. I've just makes me a bit uncomfortable I've obviously stalked her and she's gorgeous oh crap which isn't helping my self-esteem I've just been playing it cool oh he's been away with the lads before and I've never been worried what do you think should I

say something or do I just have to trust him and hope it's okay I don't want to make it awkward oh I just I say nothing to no one Really? I'm too honest about stuff. Hold your lip. No, because you know what, right? I always think if you give something oxygen or air, it kind of grows. And then you come across, like there's nothing,

there's probably nothing in it. And even if there is a slight flirtation, I always really admire girlfriends of lads I know who are very encouraging of our friendships, if you get me. And like, even if there is a little something there, he's with you. And if you don't acknowledge it, it makes you cooler. You actually rise above it. You're like, I couldn't give a fuck. Because in your mind you're going, do you know what, if you want to be with her, be with her. It's going to put like, we're together. And so I'm just going to trust that we're together.

Do you know what you have to do as well? Don't drink while he's away because otherwise you'll start texting him. Hold the insanity back. insanity back and actually joanne you're right i wouldn't say anything rise above us and keep in mind i used to score my friends on nights out all the time so it didn't actually mean anything i think if i think as soon as you know as soon as you let someone know you're kind of feel sexually threatened by their friends it's it's not a good look even if you feel it yeah lie fake it till you make it you're above it all you're not threatened by anyone you're your own thing you're confident you're assured and you know what actually I don't think I'd have ever been with Spencer if I had have had of like liked him at the start

yeah because honestly honestly I'm telling you now and it was the first time that I'd actually seen it happen in real life like I just I just like I loved him as a friend I thought he was amazing but I didn't fancy him and I didn't really want to go out with him and it really look at us now right yeah because at the time you don't really care what they do you're not as you're not as insecure you get me yeah I know. And security is attractive in anyone and everyone. It's confidence is what's attractive. So hold your own here. Keep the lips shut.

Say nothing. Yeah, say nothing. I agree with Joanne. And if he bangs her, he bangs her. Shut up, Joanne. Why did you have to put that in at the end? Because I'm saying he makes his choices.

Let him do what he wants. If he does it, then he's a snake anyway. Okay. There's nothing worse though. I went out with a lad once who was like oh the flirt like because it was I I wouldn't enjoy going out with someone who's overly flirtatious but now I'm a bit older it doesn't be like a bit of flirty here and there it doesn't bother me but

like this lad was out of control and you knew he had you knew the problem was you knew there was intent there I know some people are really flirtatious, but there's no intent. Where some people, you know, if I turned my back for a second, he'd have her dragged out. Do you know what I mean? He'd be gone. But yeah, but some men are snakes and some aren't snakes. Some women are snakes too. Yeah. Some women are snakes. Look at Emma sitting there taking notes. Don't know what she's putting down there. Yeah. Slithering, slitherson. I talk about being a snake, but I actually would never go and be snaky because I couldn't be arse ready to be honest with you.

But to this girl, say nothing. Yeah, say absolutely nothing. Rise above it. Smile. Have a great time. Enjoy your holiday. Enjoy your holiday.

Sounds like you're having great crack. Enjoy your holiday. Bring me back something nice. Have fun. Don't feel like you need to ring me all the time. Go away, have fun. Yeah, chill. Enjoy yourself.

Do your own thing. And then, yeah, he'll be all over you like a rat up a drain pipe yeah and enjoy the free time to be honest with you enjoy the free time that's what i've started doing it's when he's like i'm going to my friend's house like i'm going to watch the fight i'm like go like great always go yeah always go can't wait to see the back of you get out yeah always go 100 men 100%. Men are pigs. Men are pigs, the wedding edition. We don't think men are pigs. Absolutely not.

No. There's as many pig men as there is pig women. Very diplomatic folk. Yeah, you've got to be. Very well said. Exactly. Snort, snort. Yeah.

We're all just basically pigs and snakes riding each other. Let's be real. Excuse me. I am definitely not a pig. St. Patrick didn't get you out of Ireland, Joanne. I was at a wedding and was sharing a room with another single friend at the time. I drank everyone's wine at the table and was put to bed by 1am. My fellow single gal pal proceeded to bring a gentleman friend back to the room later in the night. I use the term gentleman very fucking loosely as this lad was at the wedding

with his girlfriend who was asleep in their room. The piggish friend took himself to the toilet after his rendezvous with my friend and proceeded to get into my bed and start feeling me up.

Hold on. Have we? I think we've had this email. We haven't had this email. The next day, Pighead told all the wedding party and all his friends that he got into, minus his girlfriend,

that he got into bed with me, started feeling me up, that I loved it, climbed on him and shagged him all night long. This gave me a bad rep amongst this group of people. Oh, it wasn't true. I only found out a couple of months later and decided to have it out with this book, phoned him up, told him

who I was and that I was pregnant with his child and it was all down to him. He was quick to advise that we never slept together. So I recorded the phone call and sent it to his mates. Oh, that is smart. Now there's nothing more gross than that. Like pretending that like you got it on with somebody when you didn't. What are you, 14? Like cop on you. That guy's a gobshite. But I have to say now, either that's a common occurrence or we've had that email before because that feels so familiar to me.

There's a lot of shit goes down at weddings. It's kind of ironic for something that's basically celebrating monogamy. It doesn't feel like there's a lot of monogamy at weddings. It just feels like everyone's just getting up at each other. Everyone just really lets loose at a wedding, don't they? Wedding drunk is different to everyday drunk because you're kind of hanging around all day. You're having a drink. Then you're getting not that much food until later on. Like if I'd have been drinking at the BAFTAs, for instance, I would have been abs. I would have been dragged out of there on my face, just running along the

tarmac. I know a girl and her cousin came on to her at a wedding. Oh, what? Yeah. Very common in Ireland, Emma. Don't look so shocked. Yeah. He full on came on to her. Like in what way? First cousins.

Yeah. That's gross. That happened. Yeah. That's interesting. They're still together. I'm sorry, what? The cousin?

They got together? No, that's a joke, but he did come on tour. I think weddings are a funny thing. I actually don't like going to weddings. I don't really like being invited to weddings. I do say that. Imo, I got your wedding invite. I can't wait.

How awkward. I'm sorry, that's awkward. Johan didn't get one. How awkward. Imo, I've met you five times. I'm sorry, babe. Well, you're not getting a hundred quid. Don't even try and send me something for the afters now, because you know I can't go.

Your presence is my presence. Lies. You're not getting a hundred quid. If I'm not getting a ball of ant, you're not getting any cash. Imo, I'll give you extra for Joanne. Imo's having her wedding in Sicily. So like I actually might go to that one. I've never been to Sicily. Don't mind folks.

She's no more going to go in fairness. Excuse me. I might. I'm going to. I'm going to go to that wedding just to fuck you off. Right. I would like. Okay.

Let's. Where is it Imo? You're not coming. Not till next May. Next May. So May coming or May 2024? May 2024. Oh yeah.

Oh sorry Joanne. Did you want to make plans in May 2024? 2024 yeah oh yeah oh sorry Joanne did you want to make plans in May 2024 because I can't I'm going to Imo's wedding okay just going to block out that month for Imo's wedding

there'll be a lot of prep involved yeah sorry I'm too busy Joanne I'm just I really want to commit to the wedding I've got like dress

dressings dressings fittings Joanne and I were actually going to do our pod yesterday but both of our brains were literally just not working i couldn't even talk to just like even trying to order things in a shop i was like i'm just not here where's my mind gone i know i've got like 12 shows in a row now from wednesday oh well that's good news for you, isn't it? Twelve. Like not even one day off. No, straight through. I'm suing my agent for lack of duty of care. I'm in the Isle of Man

on Saturday. There are still tickets left. Pluggedy plug, plug. The Isle of Man. That's a fun place to go. Let me Google what that looks like, the Isle of Man. And we don't know how to get me back in time for the ghosted show on Sunday in the Gaiety. And there's talk of like, like chartering a boat. Like they're going to put me, like I'm going to have to row myself back to Ireland to get back in time

because there's no direct flights. I'll literally land into the Gaiety in like a flotation device. The Isle of Man looks amazing. Have you seen it? Yeah, no, it is stunning. Wow. But I might have to scuba back so that I'm back in time because I can't get a flight. If you miss that? Yeah, no, it is stunning. Wow. But I might have to scuba back

so that I'm back in time because I can't get a flight. If you miss that Katie show, you're going to be in so much trouble. Imagine me just running in with an oar and a pair of armbands on me. Like, I'm here! Seaweed coming out of her hair.

Road rage? Do you want to do a bit of road rage do you want to do a bit of road rage I once had a road rage incident have you ever had road rage yeah oh I mean it gets you good

sorry what I mean is I've never actually no I wouldn't be a big beeper now or anything but I have had moments where I wasn't

in a good mood and then something will frustrate you on the road but like I've never gotten out of the car or like kind of shaked my fist at anyone or anything like that. I'd be a fan of the old road rage. Maybe it's because I drive in London, but like there's, there's levels of beeps that are acceptable. I think if you're going to do a full on beep, it's really rude.

Just do a toot toot. Yeah. Yeah. A gentle, a polite beep, beep, beep. Yeah. But if you're in London and you miss a light or something like that or the light goes green for one second you are literally getting hammered

from behind it's a nightmare it's a gentle a gentle brush of the horn is all you need just a gentle brush of the horn toot toot

a bit like that yeah just a toot like naughty just a little toot yeah something yeah a kind a kind hunk something cutesy

but I was once turning into a petrol station I must have been like 19 at the time and I gave this man in a van the fingers because he had peep 19 at the time. And I gave this man in the van the fingers because he had peeped at me. I know I shouldn't have done that. It was back in my teenage years. I don't do that kind of stuff anymore. Gave him the fingers anyway. And I went

in and there I was filling up my petrol. And didn't he get out of the car and he came over. Did I tell that story? I started pulling out the petrol. He started pulling the petrol thing off me. And I was just like, like and he's like don't you dare like in fairness I stuck my fingers up but like it was a bit rude he should have just done it back to me

and the people in the petrol station had to come out and like help me because he was like pulling the petrol thing out of my hand and pulling it out of my car

there's petrol going everywhere yeah it wasn't great what age was he? he was an older man see he's like he's like this little upstart that's what he was thinking how dare she

they've no respect for the elderly all that they don't you could have you could have gone down to the guard station about that

I know yeah but people do get kind of aggressive you can't you can't be throwing petrol around the petrol station like she could go

that's flammable stuff I know you with the hairspray can you imagine one lighter gone but people remember I told you that story about the two men that were throwing water at each stuff. You with the hairspray. Can you imagine? One lighter. Gone. Remember I told you that story about the two men that were throwing water at each other from their vans.

Like shouting at each other. Sometimes it's funny to watch things like that but other times not funny. No, I don't like it at all. I don't like it at all. Hi Vogue and Joanne. I hope you're keeping well. Long time listening to the pod and would adore your advice on something relationship related

I'm late 30s separated from my ex-husband the bastard cheated on me with a young one we won't go there I've been seeing a really great guy for five months he's 10 years older

super fit sexy we've loads in common get on great I thought things were going well but last weekend I saw a side to him

that scares me he has the worst road rage oh no aggressively took overtook people flashlights oh drove up their

holes till they pulled in beeped at someone who didn't let him pass oh no we had an argument over it

kissed and made up but he was so intimidating and aggressive that this side to him kind of puts me off should I dump him before it goes

any further that would put me off now I have to say that's it's not a good sign no I think any kind of aggression uh quick to quick to anger it means that he'll be quick to anger with you as well like it's not like it's not like he's going to be really kind compassionate and patient in the house and then he just gets into the car and turns into an asshole that's the side of his personality yeah that I find quite attractive so if you're not seeing him, pass him over to me. I just feel like though, if he's doing all that and like, like that's kind of aggressive road rage. We don't mind the odd honk, but that's a bit much.

No, that is, I would, that would turn me off as well. Cause it's too much like calm down. You're an asshole on the road. Like that. It just, like I say, it doesn't bode well for the future. That would, that, that's a bit like off-putting, but I work with somebody and they are the worst driver I have ever, that's also quite off-putting, bad driving. I have to say. That's why I don't fancy you anymore, Joanne. No, no, no, no, no. You're dead wrong about that. I am a really good driver. As you're driving as good as your golf. I am a really good driver.

I buzz around like a little ratty driver. I'm great. I can like reverse into any space. Even Alan one day was like, I find this very attractive.

You really? I just don't know. I don't know. I can't imagine you being it. I'm real zippy. I'm zippy behind the wheel. Zippy, zip, zip. You can get I just don't know. I don't know. I can't imagine you being it. I'm real zippy. I'm zippy behind the wheel. Zippy, zip, zip. You can get your lift home

next week then. We'll figure it out. I'm going to fucking how. Well, that's it from us for another week. I've been Irish comedian Joanne McNally she's been British presenter

of Elk Williams you