My Therapist Ghosted Me - Paddling Pools, Canned Wine & Bargains

Episode Date: June 18, 2021

EVERYONE loves a bargain. It doesn't matter who you are. This week there are bargains aplenty, plus, why Joanne wants her own paddling pool but still needs Vogue's help and a backstage look at Vogue's new best friend! Subscribe, enjoy and leave a review!If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.com

Welcome to My Therapist Goes To Me with me Joanne McNally and over there reconnecting with her culture and our people it's Vogue Williams. Vogue, Vogue, Vogue. It's the podcast that works on the basis of coaxing a friend to say something that they'll later hope their mother doesn't hear. That is very true. I hope my mom never hears this. On this week's podcast, we have canned wine, paddling pills, and a needy Spencer. So this week,

I'm in Hoth, obviously. I'm kind of getting the fear about going back to London, but then some days I'm like, I can't wait to go back to London because I keep googling the weather over there and it's nicer.

It's disgustingly hot I spent the weekend this is the God's honest truth I lay bollock naked on my bathroom tiles ordering fans

and paddling pills it was disgusting I was just saying to Jo I'm a Celtic woman I don't belong in heat like this

I should be just kept in a bowl of moss at all times Joanne you're disorganised. What the fuck is that got to do with my body temperature? I bet you can't get your hands on a paddling pool now. They're all sold out, aren't they? No, bitch.

Arrived today. Now, I am going to need your pump. I could have put money on the fact that you wouldn't have gotten yourself a pump. I knew it. Of course I didn't get a pump. You have a pump. I was't have gotten yourself a pump. I knew it. Of course I didn't get a pump. You have a pump. I was like, folk has a pump. Why would I get a pump?

People with children have pumps. Single women like me don't. We've no need for pumps. What kind of paddling pool did you get? Maybe the same one as Theodore with two bubbles, two bubble rings, big one. No, I got an adult one. It's all cool and like low, low, like kind of low key. And then I'm just going to

Throw the SodaStream in it For bubbles Oh perfect I was sweating so much Like when I shook my head Over the weekend It was like a sprinkler It was disgusting

Because I have so much hair It's like wearing A lagging jacket on your head So all the heat Has nowhere to go So it all moves up And it doesn't matter How much

But I thought Botox would stop me sweating. It's still, it just comes out wherever there hasn't been Botox, like a fountain. So it's coming out my chin. It's just all coming out my chin.

It's the only place I haven't had Botox. I think you've got it. I'm like, you know that fountain with the lad taking a piss? That's me, but it's just all pouring out my chin.

Oh yeah, in Rome or something. I remember I went swimming in that fountain at Piccadilly Circus when I was over in London when I went to drama school for the summer.

And I went swimming in the fountain in Piccadilly thinking I was gas and like the smell of my hair and clothes the next day, it was just, it was like there's,

like people piss in that to be fair. And I went swimming in their piss. But like don't people piss in pools as well? Like, do you know what I mean? Like isn't that kind of standard? I heard, you know the way they used to but like don't people piss in pools as well like do you know what I mean like isn't that kind of standard

I heard you know the way they used to tell you don't piss in the pool because there's there's a chemical in it that turns it green so everyone's going to know if you're just sitting there waiting

in a in an area of green that's not true that's just they just say that to scare the kids into not pissing in the pool do you know what though

I had a conversation with this I swear to God only yesterday with the girls and they said it is actually true but then I was thinking what if you were like a woman? I had a conversation with this I swear to God only yesterday with the girls and they said it is actually true but then I was thinking what if you were like a woman who just had a baby and we fell out a bit?

But the heat's unbearable and I was like who can I blame for this? Usually I blame Gwyneth Paltrow for everything but I blame this my housemate Sophie for not recycling

her fucking yoga curtains and I said Sophie every time she didn't recycle the yoga curtains and then I said, the sun's going to come and babies are going to burn and all the animals are going to die

and it's going to be your fault for not recycling your fucking yogurt cartons. So wherever she is, I hope she's happy. She's fallen in love so we haven't seen her in a month. Oh, stop.

One of them. I started my new TV show in Ireland. Oh yeah, tell us. So Boy George knows who you are. He remembered you. And Joanne, I didn't even say anything to him.

I walked into the room late. I was late to my first day because the traffic in Ireland is awful. And I had to get out of the taxi and actually run because I was like, I can't leave Boy George waiting on me. It's just too rude. So, I got out of the taxi, ran, and I got there. And as he said hi, he was like, oh, I did a show with your friend Joanne. And I was thinking in my head, she is going to be thrilled.

Well, you were like like he remembers who you are and I was like that is lovely but also it would be quite odd if he literally had no memory like we did a show together like a month ago

I know but he's boy George he's not the queen I'm not being bad but like if he was like I've absolutely no memory of that show

I thought I was on my own on Jonathan Ross I'd be like that man has a narcissistic personality disorder that needs to be addressed. He actually seems quite sane. I really liked him.

I really got on with him. I met him first, Foggy, yeah? Joanne, he's really, me and him are like, honestly, we're best. I don't want to say it's stupid because I've only known him a couple of days, but we are best friends.

Honestly, he can't get enough of me. Foggy manipulated me into thinking the same thing and then didn't add me back on Instagram. of days but we are best friends. Honestly he can't get enough of me. Vogue he manipulated me into thinking the same thing and then didn't add me back on Instagram. Okay let's see if he's added me on Instagram.

Oh no this is going to be so embarrassing and I have to send you so I got one selfie with him right. I'm going to send it to you right now. Wait until you see it.

Look at my face. It's like oh sweet Jesus I'm in a picture. I have a gorgeous one of me and George. Don't worry I've got him for the rest of the week so I'm actually going to get a picture. I have a gorgeous one of me and George. Don't worry. I've got him for the rest of the week. So I'm actually going to get a picture every day

and all my different outfits with him. No, he follows all the Vogue's except you. Ha! Vogue Australia. Vogue Homes. Vogue Italia. Vogue Runway. Vogue Williams.

No. Sorry. Do you know what's even worse than that? Right? He follows everybody from the show except me oh

my I told you I told you he's viciously manipulative I can't believe that I can't he lures you in

under a false sense of juicy friendship he follows Jedward and he doesn't follow me Jedward or Iconic everyone follows Jedward now yeah but you know what he's gonna do you know what he's gonna do I'd rather he doesn't follow me Jedward are iconic Everyone follows Jedward now Yeah but you know

What he's gonna do You know what he's gonna do I'd rather he didn't follow me And do you know why Because I know he'd be One of those people That would follow me And then unfollow me

When we're finished the show So I'd rather He was honest And just never followed me Fine I'm really hurt by that I feel pain in my stomach That's not pain

you're just digesting I thought that they I thought we were all going to be really good friends right and I was like delighted I was like yeah we're going to be I'm going to be so good

so good friends with boy George but actually I'm on stage the whole time so I'm just like peering down and all the judges

having loads of fun with each other and obviously following each other on Instagram and forgetting about little old me and backstage on the stage

any talent on this alleged talent show? Oh like you are going to I could not I cannot believe the amount of talented people in Ireland like so much so that I'm actually angry at some of the people that had to go home because they were so good. Really? Like you're gonna die when you see it I couldn't honestly I feel really proud to be Irish because they're all so good. Really? Like you're going to die when you see it. I couldn't, honestly, I feel really proud to be Irish because they're all so good. Well, do you know what it is? It's the younger generation

are talented because they're encouraged to be talented. We were encouraged to just like shut up, basically. Any sort of show poniness was seen as very humiliating

and embarrassing. Yeah, we were. So that's why we were encouraged to just be quiet and stay under the beds. I know. They have all the confidence

and the body confidence and the body positivity and the morale and they don't have anything like the self-loathing that we had. I know. Well, they're great.

They like themselves. We never had that. No. Oh my God. I just can't get over it. The Olsen twins. Two anorexics who lived inside coffee cups

here do you remember we did that interview together and what that woman said at the end about bulimia how's your bulimia she literally

we were having a nice conversation then she just literally turns around to Joanne Joanne how's your bulimia it's like

it's like how's your mom doing like it's like asking somebody like how was your trip home how's your bul home how did you believe me uh yeah yeah you might want to sugarcoat it slightly how's the old bulimia yeah knocking

along is it fucking great tell your bulimia i was asking for it like i get it like i've obviously spoken about it in the past but it did seem it was really like how's Winnie getting on in Ireland folk oh lovely and Joanne how's the blimia that's exactly what it was like and we were both just like like what do you say about that how's the blimia oh yeah it's grand yeah she's great she's great

I haven't seen her in a while yeah that was so fucking weird it's the thing when you when I suppose when you open yourself up like that

then you're kind of fair game for stuff like that I know it's just the way people sometimes ask a question like sometimes people be like oh so

so your dad died yeah yeah he did like where do you want to where are you going with this where are you going I don't want to talk you're like going with this? Where are you going? I don't want to talk. You're like, how's the dad?

Is he still dead, yeah? How's the dead dad? And you feel an awful sense of doubt. Can you give us an old tear about the dead dad there, Vau? Could you squeeze an old tear right there? Go on. The camera would love it. Zooming in on the one singular tear.

Daddy, daddy's dead. I was doing this show once and a researcher, they were like, and God love him I felt so bad for him because he did say he was like I'm mortified

but they're they're begging me I need an angle like I need to have I know they do they want sadness yeah they wanted my mum

to go on the show and I was like my mum wouldn't go on they're like and alright well listen would your adopt would your birth mother go on would your birth mother come on

but then he was like and any Me Too stuff anything like that like any kind of you know anything any abuse

any molestation there that we can kind of honestly when Me Too happened like the amount of emails I got to my agent being like basically has Vogue ever been assaulted

it's like fuck me they literally want, it's terrible, really. It's actually terrible. I was like, of course I have. I was like, I rode my way to the middle

rather than the top. It was a huge mistake. I've ridden myself to the middle of the comedy industry. Shane Gray Norton's gay. I'd be trying to ride him to get onto that couch.

Vogue, Vogue, Vogue. Vogue. I got a vi- Vogue. This group of girls sent me a video the other night on Insta, they DM'd it to me and they were spinning each other around in Cs just going Vogue, Vogue, Vogue, Vogue, Vogue. do you know what I figured out on my time away so Spenny left Dublin there a few days ago

he is so needy he's ringing me again non-stop ringing me ringing me then he rings me and tells me I like sometimes when you ring me too

and I'm like I don't have time to ring you because you're always ringing me he's so I can't believe how needy he is and what are you doing the same thing I was doing

half an hour ago when he rang me and what are you doing like last night this is what I love about Ireland by the way so I'm driving home from the show last night

and I got to where I live and there's a pub near me and I saw my mate and his dad in the pub and I said do you know what this is very unlike me got out of the car

and I went and I had a drink with them what's that vodka soda lime but they put lime cordial in I thought teen vogue teen vogue is back

raving on house beach and all oh my god your glow sticks there's a bloody rave over in Ireland's Eye at the weekend but I'm going home I wouldn't have gone anyway

obviously because it's infested with rats but there is are you coming home yeah I'm coming home on Friday my god I know I know and we're gonna sit outside I've got a paddling pool too so I'll set that up and then you can borrow my pump but I need it back I don't want to be in your paddling pool it's full of dinosaurs and inflatable bears it's not cool bring your own be a baller bring your pool down there's room for your pool and do you know what else you want

I'm not only coming home on Friday but I'm ready to have a drink with you I'm just after saying I gig on Friday night because I've nothing to do I'm raging

oh for fuck's sake where we'll have a drink on Sunday okay I'll have a drink on Sunday I've loads of news I've been all over the place I was in Grimsby

where I saw things I'll never unsee I saw a horse eating a slush puppy really? I saw yeah there was some young lad

feeding his horse a slush puppy it was blue they're mad at the slush puppies up in Grimsby I love a slush puppy I was trying to get a coffee in the morning

I was like how can I get a slush puppy before I was trying to get a coffee in the morning and I was like, how can I get a slush puppy before a coffee? But there was gangs of mobility scooters going around. So like, older gangs of people

like buzzing around in mobility scooters, chain smoking, listening to music and they all had like tramp stamps and stuff. And I was like, that's what I need

is a fucking mobility scooter because I can't get the license sorted. It's just too much hassle. I was like, you don't need a license for a mobility scooter. Joanne, you're scooter because I can't get the licence sorted. It's just too much hassle. You don't need a licence for a mobility scooter. Joanne, you're actually... I can fill the basket up with booze

and just drive... I could travel around to my gigs and I get a seat in the back. Get a two-seater, Vogue. You put you in the back and we could drive to our gigs. That's... Listen, Joanne,

you're going to have to sort it. You told me you were going to sort out the licence. You said you were going to do the tennis. You haven't sorted out the licence It's too much hassle I'm not Ireland make it impossible To get a fucking driver's licence

I have one Impossible I've got one They gave me one Then they took it away They go yeah you're passed But you have to wear an N For novice on your car for two years

Which is like Can I drive or not? Like you passed me Yeah Joanne You only passed the bloody written exam thing. That's like the very start. Anyway look the licence I can't get into it. It's like tax. I can't talk about it.

But I think with the mobility scooter I think it's a way around it for me. No no you can't. Get a scooter. Katie Price had a mobility scooter. She says allegedly she went off road with it. Punctured a tyre and now it's done nothing with it since. I don't know why the hell you'd bring a mobility scooter off says allegedly she went off road with it punctured a tyre and now has done

nothing with it since I don't know why the hell you'd bring a mobility scooter off road like you'd hardly go dirt tracking with a mobility scooter

but anyway also I discovered this weekend I discovered canned wine which I feel it's just it feels just very on brand

I know but what then happened the next day because I was watching your stories okay so this is what happened right canned wine I was like this is I need to be the face of this this I could easily be the face of canned wine I had two canned wines and then the next morning I felt awful like I honestly thought I had corona I felt so bad and then I was like what's in the canned wine it's obviously something awful in the canned wine but then I was like, what's in the canned wine? It's obviously something awful in the canned wine. But then I remembered later that day, I had three glass wines before I had the two canned wines.

So I think that's why I was hungover. No, that's only five wines. You're well able for more than five wines. Three large wines and two canned wines. That's a shit lot. That's a lot of wine. But then I was like, building up an immunity to things like canned wines will prepare me for the apocalypse when all we have is canned goods. And I'll be ready because I'll have a palate for a canned wine.

Like when they tried to murder Rasputin, they tried to poison him, but he'd been secretly taking arsenic for years. So they couldn't kill him. Who? I don't know that story. Rasputin, you do. You know, the Romanovs, we've discussed it before. Then the wine company emailed me and they're like do you want some of that wine that you posted again

shut up so now I've realised the power of Instagram if I just post something then they give it to you I'm going to post a husband and a baby Joanne

Joanne I'm the house in the Cotswolds you just put it into the world you just put it on your Instagram and then they email you and go we've got a house and a baby

and a man for you where's your address and I say send it to my agent please and they like collect it folk how did you not tell me that that's how Instagram works it is yeah that's what's going to happen for you

you're moving to the Cotswolds that'll be quite nice with my can my life supply of canned wine my husband and my baby did you take of canned wine My husband and my baby Did you take the canned wine? Yes I did The hand's out these days

I'm like yeah bring it I've started doing ads On my Instagram What ads? I heard you on the Lucas Aid ad at home Oh yeah Yeah

One of my best bits of work It was actually quite good Come here to me So I'm doing that show As you know And I met the Met the people at Dyson oh my god

I have to give Dyson their juice they sent me they did send me a straightener Dyson sent me a straightener I didn't have the heart to tell them I wanted the Hoover so I just said

thanks very much I told them for you and they offered me they offered me another Hoover I see what's going on here I see what's going on I see what's going on we're having

I'm getting the brand are we at war now influencer wars to see who's going on here I'm getting I see what's going on I'm getting I'm getting the pride We're having an influencer war Are we at war now Influencer wars To see who's more influential You know you're more influential Give me the fucking Tyson Oh look

Look who's ringing me again Not Spencer I fucking Spencer Yeah Babe I've just recorded my pod I'll call you back

Okay I love you Bye Can't get enough of me Can't get enough of you Babe, I've just recorded my pod. I'll call you back. Okay, love you. Bye. Can't get enough of me. Can't get enough of you. It's all fucking day. All day long. And it's FaceTime after FaceTime.

God, he really misses us. And when I told him, I thought I was thinking of staying on for the weekend. He was like devastated. But then I remembered it was Father's Day so I should probably go home I've more Grimsby news I got catcalled by a topless child on a horse in Grimsby?

in Grimsby very Dublin vibes yeah and I noticed I was like do you know what being catcalled it's kind of a weird one

because you don't want to be catcalled but then when you're not catcalled the silence is quite deafening like there's a load of builders outside Vogue's house who don't want to be catcalled but then when you're not catcalled the silence is quite deafening like there's a load of builders outside Vogue's house who don't even so much as look at me

when I'm all passed and I've had to convince myself that they're feminists oh no they don't they don't even do that ever to anyone were you going to say they don't even do it to me

yeah they don't even do it to me so they don't even do it to me when I'm going around with like practically when I'm all dressed up to go out

and when I'm looking good they don't even do it then they don't even look at you they actually look the other way but I never thought about it like you did but now I feel like

feminists that's what you tell yourself as you get older all the builders are now feminists no I think that we're just old now

shut up folk I think so no I'm telling you the builders are Polish and Polish people don't whistle it's not in their culture. Okay fair enough. But you know what I noticed that Vogue I've said this to you I'm getting I feel like I'm getting a lot more attention from younger guys at the moment and I figured out what it is because I'm coming to the end of my fertility

I'm now shooting out twice the number of eggs that you do in the middle of your fertility because that's what you do. It's like a two for one bargain sale. That's why women in their 40s end up having twins by accident. You start shooting out double the eggs. You're like frog spawn.

I don't think that's true. It's true. It's 100% true. 100% true. You shoot out more eggs towards the end. It's like everything must go

kind of vibes. You're like you're not old enough to be there. They can smell it. So you just smell like eggs. That guy, that topless guy on the horse,

he was like 14 and he was nice. You can't go there, Joanne. That's too young. I know! What did they say when you said, I wanted a Hoover?

I said, Joanne wants a Hoover and she was like, oh, and I was like, so don't ever give her one because it's like the running joke. So what have you been enjoying

this week Vogue? Okay so this week I was enjoying seeing people reinventing themselves right. I was watching looking oh god

I wish I could say I was reading the Telegraph or something but I wasn't. I was looking I was looking at the Daily Mail again, refreshing that sidebar shamelessly like I always do. God, I'm so pathetic, but it's not my fault. I can't help it. It's just the way I was born. It's addictive. They design it that way.

Yeah. It's the way I was born. Percy for tea. Tea, Mel. I was looking up the Daily Mail, as I always do, and I saw Rod Stewart's wife, Penny Lancaster, right? She's reinvented herself. She's Rod Stewart's wife. But that's besides the point. She's reinvented herself as a policewoman. And I think she's one of those people that maybe lets the power get to her.

Because I think she was reprimanding somebody for crossing the road when the red man was red or something. But still, it got me thinking. She like, maybe it was COVID. I don't know. She was a model and like just lived this life of luxury. And now she has reinvented herself as a policewoman. But actually, I think it would be quite cool to be a policewoman. Because think of all the, I'd be one of the ones on the horses though I think

yeah you'd be a Questerian I'd be an Equesterian police person and actually like I think I'd quite like to be a police person very diplomatic

lovely I'm very woke that's me yeah because think of all the cool stuff you could do but anyway we're veering off the point

I'm talking about reinventing yourself now this one isn't actually someone who's reinvented themselves. Well, it kind of is. Pope Francis was a bouncer. The Pope was a bouncer.

You kind of forget that he was even like born or that he was ever a baby. But I didn't think he'd ever be a bouncer. He still is. Still keeping the gays out. Still bouncing the gays out.

Yeah. Also, how crazy that Pope Francis once had a job where he wouldn't let people in wearing sandals and now he's all about sandals.

Now all he's just like sandals this and sandals that. I guarantee if you got him to the door he wouldn't let you in with a sandal. Also,

why is it I'd love like a Pope Darren or like something more like Pope Dave there was a Pope John Paul yeah but that wasn't his real name

they all take they all take holy names do you know there's a Saint Vogue I'm not surprised yeah and it's not me it's someone else

obviously Saint what? yeah I know do you remember you'll be like a saint though because when you die you won't rot It's not me, it's someone else, obviously. What? Yeah, I know. You'll be like a saint, though, because when you die, you won't rot, but that's because I'll be the same.

We'll have so much work done to us. We'll just, like... Yeah, we'll be preserved. We'll be cured with salt. Oh, I decided today on my run, by the way, I want to be thrown, scattered on the cliffs of Hoth. Folk, this Hoth, this fetishising of Hoth has to stop. I want... Little London.

I'm going to be scattered on the cliffs of Hoth I tell you Spenny won't be visiting her ashes I can tell you that much He bloody will by the amount of phone calls I'm getting off of him

he won't be able to get enough of me He'd actually I'd say he'd lick your I'd say he'd eat your ashes A hundred percent I know somebody snorted their granny I wouldn't snort my granny

I'd snort Spenny maybe but I wouldn't want to Snorted a line of her own grandmother. That's gross. That's gross. He must get some kind of disease. But do you know what actually as well? She wouldn't be snorting just her own granny.

She could be snorting anyone else who has also just been incinerated. No, apparently that's not true. Apparently that's the kind of the crematoriums had to come out because that's what the rumour was. You're getting bits of loads of people. Like the bottom of a barbecue

if you cleaned it out you don't know what bits the chicken and what bits the burger so people were getting like maybe a bit of their granny and a bit of Darren down the road and a bit of some whatever but so the crematoriums came out

and were like no we burn one at a time and we're very careful and we sweep them all into the individual urns but look at they have to say that they have to say that there's no way you're not sweeping

like Dez's finger in with Anne-Marie. Yeah, but do you know what that is? Diversity. Gross. I don't even think I want to be cremated anyway. Who else has reinvented themselves? Shirley Temple became a UN ambassador.

But I don't know if she gets paid for that job. So it's not really reinventing yourself if you're not getting paid, is it? Yeah, yeah it is. It's like a change of path a change of life but it got me thinking like I don't know what I'd want to be I think I'd be something to do with skin so I could give myself like free facials and stuff all the time yeah but it what would you spirit like what would speak to yourself uh making myself look younger daily yeah fair so i think i would be a skin specialist or i know that sounds obvious but like i think otherwise i could be a pt i'd be into that that's a great yeah i think you'd be very i could work for the

hoth tourism board i'd be good at that oh my god I'd be good at it I'd be good at it I think you're already working for it I think I think the people of Hoth are annoyed at me because I'm bringing too much riffraff in with me

Spencer and the kids no what would you be if you weren't a comedian I have a fantasy not a strange one nothing to do with anything weird

it's a fantasy of moving to the countryside and just like making jams and selling them out of the back of a bike do you want and just living off the land

living off the grid that's not you just read it I just read all day and write all night and and then I've like you know

I'll cycle into the town to use a landline once a month to check if my mum's dead so I can take the house and go back I'd make themed jams

I remember somebody peep shout do you ever watch peep shout yeah it's like it just kills me I watch it on repeat and repeat do you remember the themed jams

no that your mum made Blair resignation jam and Diana memorial jam strawberry jam and she was making jazz eat them

with her fingers and all do you remember them I was like I'd make themed jams like Vogue's third

wedding jam I'll have one ready to go for the big day yeah I just don't see that for you Joanne I mean you've

never really like you came to Shoreditch Hay, so a farmhouse, which is kind of like the countryside. And like, you didn't really have any countryside gear or anything. You're not very countryside. You came to Spenny's place in Scotland

and like, you kind of just slept and then got up and drank and then you didn't do anything countryside-y. Excuse you. I had a picnic in that shed. Oh yeah. It was a barbecue.

Yeah, I ate in the shed. So, take that back. I'm basically Bear Grylls. I'm all about it. I'm all about survival. That's what I have. Every time I get the train somewhere, oh my god, speaking of travel, this is the other thing I did

Joanne you're obsessed by this but you're right you saved a lot of money going to Bristol looked at the trains 55 to 60 pounds I was like not great

looked at the bus £2.90 the thrill of the bargain it was like coming up on a yoke I was ecstatic I was like then rang around everyone told them about the deal rang to tell Vogue the deal told everyone the deal The thrill of the bargain. It was like coming up on a yoke. I was ecstatic. I was like... Then, rang around everyone,

told them about the deal, rang to tell Vogue the deal, told everyone the deal, put it in the family WhatsApp, telling everyone about the bargain. Rang Susan, cynical Susan, of course. Susan's like, three hours on a bus in a heatwave?

Jesus. Hangs up the phone. I was like, fuck, I didn't think about the heatwave. I was like, shit, what'll I do? So I was like, maybe I should get the train. Went back onto the train's website, checked the price. It had gone up to £160!

So now I'd made a saving of £150 something. Pounds! Now it did mean I had to go to Bristol on a National Express in a bralette and boxer shorts because it was so hot. I was sweltering and the toilet didn't work

and there was a woman in the chair beside me who was clearly breaking up with her boyfriend for the whole thing but I was like 290, 290, 290 like it was such a thrill and Vogue

I know you love a bargain as well I do love a bargain and I did a shout out for people firstly I actually had to google the psychology of a bargain because I was like

why am I so excited by this and it's basically scavenging so like back in the so excited by this and it's basically scavenging so like back in the day they'd go and they'd find prey and dinner in the woods

whereas we find bargains socks in baskets yeah so that feeds that part of us that caveman part anyway

so went out asked people to send me their best bargains and there was a lot of stories about dads going out for butter and coming home with a holiday. There's a lot of that. Cruises and stuff like that. One girl said she went in TK Maxx and bought a wedding dress.

It was reduced from a grand to 50. Totally single at the time. She said, that's just too much bigger bargain. You can't turn it down. Fair. That's fair. That gets me all the time buying shit like that. I cannot stop myself.

Something's on sale. I'm taking it home with me. It's coming home. Exactly. It's the psychology. You're like that I cannot stop myself something's on sale I'm taking it home with me it's coming home exactly it's the psychology you're like I don't even need it you're like buying 10 cat beds I don't even have a fucking cat

just get the cat beds get the cat beds that's the middle aisle of Aldi that is abusing that part of our brain they are taking absolute taking advantage of us well they can do it

because I love that middle aisle we're scavenging. It's survival of the fittest and the stupidest who want ski boots in May. Yeah. One woman, she found a Gucci handbag,

got it for a euro, went home, checked the price. It was €990. How did she do that? She just got it at Gucci. She found a Gucci bag in a charity shop and your woman's like,

give us a euro for it. Oh my God. There was one woman, she said she went to Ikea to get a mirror ended up getting a life-size Buddha and two other Buddha heads and she actually sent me

a photo of it and it's I mean it's ridiculous she admits now it was the worst decision she's ever made she says every time she comes into the house

she thinks she's getting burgled huge big fucking Buddha the size of herself in the sitting room I was like if you're buying your spirituality from Ikea you've got problems do you know what I mean

I love a bargain but I'm also a sucker for an impulse buy couple that with feeling sorry for the poor sales he used to I mean I love a bargain but I'm also a sucker for an impulse buy couple that with feeling sorry for the poor sales he used to knock on your door to sell stuff

I'm weak I actually changed my electric supplier three times in one day my ex-husband came home to me crying because I didn't know who our electricity

supplier was anymore and I'd signed up to Gusto Boxes and sponsored a fucking puppy all in one day. I was laughing because I was looking for stories to talk about, like we both do, and came across another article about Vogue in an Irish newspaper where it's basically Vogue does nothing and says nothing new,

but they've somehow managed to make an article about it and if you scan really far down you'll see as told on her podcast with Joanne McNally blah blah blah blah and I was like

what the fuck do I have to do? They're so obsessed with her like I could literally ring up an Irish paper and be like I'm after drinking a pint of psychedelics

and I've run down Oxford Street bollock naked everyone's seen it it's going viral do you want to comment for me Joanna and they were like

was Vogue there putting on a leggy display and I was like no Vogue wasn't there putting on a leggy display I'm like no Vogue wasn't there it was just me off my tits

running naked through Oxford Street was Gigi there with a hair bow being advanced for her age no sorry yeah Joanna there's nothing we can really do with that naked to Oxford Street. Was Gigi there with a hair bow being advanced for her age? No. Sorry, yeah, Joanne,

there's nothing we can really do with that. Well, Joanne, it's still called Your Podcast, by the way. That was in the Daily Mail once and since changed. In the Daily Mail twice they said it's

Joanne McNally's podcast. Vogue could literally urinate into a super soaker and go out and shoot up Holt with her own piss and they'd run an article saying brave Vogue Williams gives back to the community of Holt

that's what they would do I've just remembered I had went up with the heat and the sweating at the start I remember once being in your kitchen and I was sweating profusely as I always do

because I have a lagging jacket for her and Spencer was I was talking to Spencerely as I always do because I have a lagging jacket for her and Spencer was I was talking to Spencer and he's just looking at the sweat like gathering on my top lip and of course he won't stop looking at it

and I'm waiting for him to not look at me so I can take it away and eventually in classic Spencer style he's like darling will you please

clean your top lip it's covered in sweat Joanne what have you been enjoying this week well Vogue thanks for asking this week I've been enjoying the fact that

Crocs are doing a collaboration with Balenciaga and have brought out what can only be described as a monstrous hoof

boot which looks like I was like it's actually like as a monstrous hoof boot which looks like I was like it's actually like if me and you were a shoe. Oh because I'm the heel and you're the croc. You're the fashion.

You're the label. You're that Balenciaga. I'm the croc to your Balenciaga. Do you want crocs or back? They're not back folk. I saw a lilac pair I was thinking of buying. No.

Crocs are a great example. No matter how ugly you are if you hang around for long enough someone will take you home that real should be applied to shoes humans everything else

that's how Crocs they've literally they're just they're just so ugly they've just hung around for long enough Joanne your sandals are uglier

than the Crocs you know the sandals I'm talking about are they back out now because there's a heat wave post a picture of those sandals on'm talking about. Are they back out now because there's a heat wave? Post a picture of those sandals on your Instagram and do a poll. Okay?

Do a fucking poll. They have to be on your feet though. Okay? Those sandals are stunning. They're studded platform sandals. Like what else do you want? Like they tick every box. I'm demanding that you post that with a poll to your Instagram, right?

With your sandals because you're not coming around my house with those fucking yokes on your feet again. Back to the Crocs. Crocs to me were something that people with addictions wore

so they could inject shit into their feet while people were looking. That's what Crocs were to me. They were, they were worn by people with vicious addictions like chefs and surgeons.

How they've managed to kind of find their way into mainstream shoe world, I don't know. They're disgusting. They're foam. They're foam cloths. It shouldn't be allowed.

They look like what you wear if you just come out of rehab and you've had some sort of breakdown. You've just come out of rehab and everyone has to tiptoe around you. Do you know what they look like putting a heel on a croc it's like

have you ever seen when they put ears when they grow ears out the back of mice have you ever seen that no that's what the shoe looks like that's how horrific it is

they have an ear grown out the back of a mouse they have an ear grown out of a mouse folk and you know it's wrong their shoes look like they've escaped from a lab that's what they look like

no look at those ones they're lilac yeah the Pfizer would take care of them, I'd say. Close up those holes. Get the Pfizer on them. Get the Johnson and Johnson.

I refuse to let you talk about Crocs like that when you have those sandals. If you got a pair of lilac Crocs. Okay, if you come to my house and you're black sandals again, I'm definitely getting the lilac Crocs. Folk, I think you're too hard

on those sandals. Everyone else loves them. Name one person who has told you they love them. Who? I'm trying to think now. You know when someone's fighting with you you're like well everyone's saying that about you. Yeah everyone has said that about you. Everyone has said that about you.

Everyone says you're bossy. Who? Everyone. Yeah. Everyone else. Everyone's saying it. Or if I have a fight with Spencer, I'm like, you do that all the time.

And he's like, all right, mention one more time. And I'm like, I am not getting into this. I am not doing it. Let's not open that can of worms. Yeah. I've receipts. I've receipts. I'm shocked that you don't like a croc, Joanne.

And I love ugly fashion. Have you tried them on? No. Now, in fairness, like we wore Ugg boots. They're absolutely, like they're horrific as well, you know. Like they're not exactly lookers either. I was going to buy an Ugg again. I have to say they're very comfortable.ers either. I was going to buy an UGG again. I have to say they're very comfortable.

I know. I was going to buy an UGG, an ankle grabbing UGG. I also, do you know what? I kind of thought, I don't know why I'm surprised about the Crocs thing because I actually,

I was going to buy Theodore Crocs and I didn't want him to get slagged by all our friends. That's why I didn't buy him one. Because they don't like the shit out of him. Yeah, because my friends would slag my two-year-old. Yeah, I'd be like mate your shoes

are in bits where do you think you're going with those things I'd be like yuck dude or yuck did you see

Kim Kardashian's new car I think she was gifted it by the way a Lamborghini and they wrapped it in her

Skims fabric and she put it in her skims fabric and she put it out there and thinking everyone was going to be like oh wow it's amazing they all compared it to the dog van

from Dumb and Dumber when you think something's so gorgeous and then people are like no like your sandals like your child which one which one sandals. I just, like your child.

No, Joanne, which one? Which one? That's all for this week. Remember, if you'd like to send us an email, you're more than welcome to. Just send it to

hello at mtgmpod.com And subscribe, please. A woman actuallytgmpod.com and subscribe please a woman actually messaged me going I'll subscribe if you get me on Raya I cannot say this enough I have no sway

to get anyone on Raya are you still on Raya yeah can I look at that on your phone when I get home yeah of course not for like

not for any options I just yeah I'll have a go let me have a go I'll pretend to be you and I'll have a go yeah the awkward dispenser's on us were like oh god there you go you're like no no match Thank you.