My Therapist Ghosted Me - Pap Thirst, Horse Love & Famous Fallouts

Episode Date: July 21, 2023

Vogue's already on her "hollyers" and Joanne is obviously raging at the mention of that word (and any other made up word!) In the meantime, Joanne missed another flight and a cat got an award. If you���d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/MTGM is going on tour in Ireland & The UK! For tickets, merch and more, visit mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Joanne McNally and Vogue Williams. And Jo, a little bit. Joe Williams. And Joe. A little bit. Joe was talking about there at the end of term, Joanne, in England, that they all play with Lego and go home.

And I said that in Ireland, we couldn't afford Lego. We only used to play with muck at the end of term, remember? We just had potato skins and fire. Wasn't that what we played with in Ireland? Because we'd no money. Yeah, we used to play on luck. My point was, because this is the last episode of this season, this is where we get the Lego out and watch videos.

That was my point. Oh, I understand. Because of the word Lego. Obviously, me and Vogue teased Joe about his lack of knowledge of our brand, right? But me and Vogue were doing a little job the other day completely above board if the Revenue are listening it's all

traceable and I don't know what to say cut around this Joe yeah cut around it no I'm kidding but they'd written a little VO for me and Vogue and it was written by I'm assuming an an English person. And do you know what I'm going to say about it?

And the opening was about how our life was kind of so repressed because we were raised Irish Catholic. And I was like, come here. A, we're not saying that because we'll be thrown out of our country. And B, what year is this lad living in that he can write like this and that it can go through a couple of sense checks and arrives at our desk to be read Ireland is the most modern country you've ever fucking been in Jo okay and by the way

I was joking we do have Lego and we love it of course we've got Lego and we're progressive as fuck Lego's coming out of our ears by the way so much Duplo in our house now it's all growing shamrock out of it but I just think

that's a bonus to be honest me too I actually can't like my kids do love Lego but I find it so stressful that they just

keep breaking what I make if I buy like a bit older Lego and like I'm like oh I'll get it for them for the plane

and I sit there making it and they start breaking it and I'm like oh my god he's lost he's lost one of the Star Wars people. And I can't, I can't bear it. It's kind of mad that Lego is still around.

Like what, what massive longevity. I remember when, before we were old enough to use Lego, because there was an age limit on it. God knows why. I think it's pretty, I suppose because you couldn't swallow it. Wasn't that it? Because you swallow the heads and stuff. Yeah.

Sorry. What? swallow it wasn't that it because you swallow the heads and stuff yeah sorry what I used to double drop Lego men like it was going out of fashion Joanne disgusting I had that bigger we had those bigger

I guess because I'm surprised you were ever allowed to touch Lego considering the size of your mouth but you would just swallow it by accident just by inhaling around

it I'm over here in Spain the farm's gone she inhaled the Lego farm but do you remember do you remember the bigger sticks of stuff oh yes

what are they called stickle bricks was it stickle bricks Was it stickle bricks Google stickle bricks There Jo will you I'm pretty sure It's a stickle brick Because I love them too

Oh yeah Yeah Yeah They were the bigger pieces Oh I love stickle bricks Before you progress They were the gateway drug For Lego

Before you progressed Onto the real stuff Because they were just Too big to swallow And that's your vogue of course But for a little tiny Lady mouth like mine they were perfectly safe do you know that well do you know so we do secret santa in my house every christmas and spencer got my brother and my brother was like don't tell emma as in his wife don't tell emma that you're getting me this and made him put money towards a piece of Lego

that was 400 euro. And he was like, Emma be annoyed if I get that Lego that's 400 euro. He still buys Lego and pretends to make it with his kids. He sits there making himself like those big Star Wars ships and stuff like that. Like he loves Star Wars

and he tries to hide it from his wife who listens to this podcast. Hi, Emma. Hold on. Hold on a second. Don't tell him I told. There's a piece of Lego that's worth 400 quid. You can buy Lego for like over a grand and stuff

like these big huge things that you make. I'd expect it to be made for a grand. I'd expect to just pick it up fully formed. You could always send it back if it came in the box be like excuse me poor mum

I'm in her kitchen just trying to get her breakfast happy to have her here get her on the pod no my family members respect my work and they don't jump on

the podcast every time they pass the camera because they're not thirsty media whores I'm assuming you're not talking

about my kids but I wouldn't be too sure I forgot about them actually that was a bit harsh on the children no I more meant

your thirst bucket of a husband yeah he is very dehydrated to be fair oh my god I'd say if the light comes on in the fridge, he's tap dancing in front of us.

I'll tell you what, we were down the beach in Spain there the other day, and I have this, like, sixth sense where I can spot a path, because we were walking down, and there's a woman sitting there, and she started twitching as soon as we walked by, and I was like, something weird about her,

and I was like, I don't mean to sound like a paranoid weirdo, but I think she's a pap. And, like, my friend that I was with was like, she's not, she's not. And I was like, just keep an eye on her, just keep an eye on her.

And like, Spenny was like looking over and then it turned out she was a pap. And he's like straight away back down, hoping the pap's still there waiting to get his next shot. So we should probably give a bit of context. Vogue,

you're on holidays. I'm on my holly bops. Am I glad you're on our holly bops? No. Whatever you'd like to call it. You're on your holidays like an adult. My holliers Yeah I'm here

I can't I can't make Spain Any shorter unfortunately I'm in I'm in I'm in No It would be

When you can't make it Any shorter People like you They say things like Spain-o And stuff Here comes one of my thirsty kids looking for some air time.

Look how cute he looks. Hi. Hiya. Hello. Tell me what you can do in the water. Hello. A little front flip and a back flip and a flip in the sky. Yeah. That's amazing. Mama, I can't hear him. No, you don't want to hear him anyway. Oh, thank

God. I was like, excuse me? I forgot to turn my cameras off. I was like, this is why I don't like your children, Vogue. They're rude. Why can't I see Joanne? Oh, she's just looking desperate today, that's why. Too early, Theodore. Your mother wants to work too early.

I am absolutely... I am like your levels of sweat today. You know the way you think I don't sweat? I'm sweating so bad. It's roasting. It's roasting. It's going to be 39 degrees today. Well, I should be, I want to just be totally honest with you because me and Vogue have

a kind of agreement of full transparency at all times. I deeply resent doing the podcast at nine o'clock on a Tuesday morning. I'm just going to call it. I'm just going to say it and the reason we're doing it at 9am is because Vogue has a horse riding

lesson at 10am do you know what I have at 10am nothing well do you know what Joanne I will tell you one thing right

that horse is doing wonders for my mental health okay horses are great if you're feeling down go see a horse Joanne will tell you all about it

there's a podcast at the moment if I had a penny for every time someone sent it to me well I'd probably have about 50 quid hold on here we go I said this to the man the polo man yesterday

like it was one of the his name is Jamie and he's really nice but I came out with this story that Joanne's about to say I know it's going to be the one I put in the key words that I thought were going to bring it up

but I've taken a turn and now I'm on I don't know it's I got fucked by a horse or something what's the name of the podcast I don't know so that's exactly what it is it freaked me out as well it's on a page that I follow and there's a podcast about a man who basically lost all like sexual feeling or whatever and for some reason decided to start fucking horses let's call it riding come on let's be gentle so it was about a man who got ridden by a horse no sorry no go back to fucked no it was about a man it was about a man who had who had sexual intercourse with a horse but the

horse had sexual intercourse with him and then he basically as his bowels exploded or something obviously like and then he crawled into the hospital and died there was nothing that they could do for him and that's the podcast but I was with the horses yesterday and one of them well two of them were hanging out if you know what I mean they're not I wasn't looking for it right they were just there and straight away I flashed back to that thing that you just spoke about because it had been

served up to me that podcast and I said it to your man and supposedly like people do it all the time obviously all that kind of stuff goes on but like

there was another story about this man and like there's a group of them that went to do it to be taken by a horse. I don't really, because I'm trying to be respectful in a very strange way. To who? I don't know.

Listen to the horse, to them all. Okay. I respect animals, Joanne. I just think that sounds like a fun lad's day out. But one of them had a wife and kids at home and they obviously didn't know about it like imagine that's like oh by the way sorry to tell you but your husband died how did he die oh well he was having fun with a horse poor horse but i mean come on you just lie you just say like people lie about cause of death all the time you just feel like he was trampled by the

horse he was well you know you could also say look the man didn't consent you know what I mean yeah he was impaled by the horse doesn't mean he wasn't

impaled by a foot yeah exactly it could have been other areas of the horse that took his life I don't know anyway

this all started by saying I'd rather not do the podcast this early in the morning and take a turn but basically we're trying to bring This all started by saying I'd rather not do the podcast this early in the morning and taking a turn. But basically, we're trying to bring... I don't know how we've turned down the bestiality road at half nine in the morning. Again. Again.

Like, folk, it's no coincidence that it's always you. This was you. You dirty-minded little horse lover. Sorry. So the guy who, very sadly, and it's a very sad story. What happened to the horse? Anyway. Was impaled by the horse. Who died by horse horse I think is kind of the respectful way

to say it yeah there was a there was a dalliance there was obviously some chemistry there and they and they explored it

they explored a connection they explored the connection they had and the connection was so intense one of them died I think it's quite Romeo and Juliet

to be honest but that's just my opinion well I think one of them rubbed horse pherom quite Romeo and Juliet, to be honest, but that's just my opinion. Well, I think one of them rubbed horse pheromone on themselves for the horse to want to be interested in the other one, if you know what I mean. Are you joking?

I know, I know, because I read that story because there's one page that keeps serving up these horrendous stories and I keep looking at them. I'm like, stop looking at them. Don't do it,

but you can't help it. Horse pheromone? A horse pheromone, stop looking at them. Don't do it, but you can't help it. Horse pheromone? Horse pheromone, yeah. Horses don't just say, oh, here, she looks hot. I'm going to go for it. Like, that's not what they do. I've gone through years of rejection from horses, not knowing that I could just literally smear myself in pheromones.

How has no one told me this? Joanne's mom is in the house with her I just hope she's not overhearing this one side of the camera She doesn't put her hair and eyes in

until about one o'clock so we're good we're solid we're gold She just keeps wandering around in the background Why is my daughter talking about horses

in that way? But um Talking about horses in that way. Do you like that song, Jo? You can't dislike it, really, can you? How does she not like that song? But Joanne doesn't like music, don't forget. Like, she wouldn't know any music. I do. I do like music.

Oh, she's still listening. I do. I was actually in the car the other day and I was like, go on, put on some music. And I put it on and I did enjoy it. I just wouldn't be, you're

kind of like, I wouldn't be as big into music as you would be. I don't know. I don't know what's happened to me. I don't know what's happened to me. I just can't imagine you sitting there like bobbing your head along to any kind of music at all. Joe, I'm really trying to figure out

how you don't like Kylie Minogue's new song because I find that fascinating and I honestly think it's because you are maybe homophobic. Cut that Joe Okay I don't want people knowing That I despise the gays

Speaking of Me and Vogue have a large group Of gay friends Are they gay? I know What? What the hell? I'm appalled

I just thought they were good companions living together and raising children block block block and report two of our friends

James and Brian who we've spoken about loads on here much to their horror they're like again girls really the fancy ones the fancy ones

yeah the fancy the high end gays as Jennifer Coolidge says in White Lotus these are some high end gays they are they're the highest of the high end gays

they're high end gays and so anyway they have they're so high end that they make us feel low end well we yeah

yeah that's true actually yeah we're the pav low end. Well, we, we're not. Yeah. Yeah. That's, yeah, that's true actually. Yeah. Yeah. We're the povos in this, in this relationship, as we would say. But, so, James and Brian went through a lot and have finally got a beautiful baby boy via surrogate, which took many, many years. Baby Cosmo is here and it is, everyone's very excited and it was just a huge cause

for celebration. Anyway, we went down to Kenmare where Brian is from at the weekend. I was so raging. It was amazing. Basically,

it was just a little, it was a party for James and Brian to celebrate the fact that they've managed to have this gorgeous baby. There was nothing religious about it. It was just a party for his friends.

How was the party? Because I'm absolutely raging. I missed it. Oh, it was amazing. I missed my 9am flight, obviously. Slept in. And Alan, who I think was trying to sabotage me, because I think he didn't want me to go to Kerry

and have fun without him. I was like, did you not hear my alarm? And he goes, I did, but you just looked like you really needed the sleep. Stop! What time did you wake up at? Half eight, Kind of vibe And the flight was at nine

You didn't even have A nice lie in for that No I went back to sleep then Anyway I booked myself On the four o'clock flight To Kenmare

It's an hour flight To Kerry from Dublin I thought it'd be seven minutes Anyway it's a full hour And Went down And I was saying to Vogue So I got on the plane

I felt so guilty About this after I really wanted The window seat Because I was really tired And I wanted so guilty about this after I really wanted the window seat because I was really tired and I wanted to I wanted to sleep and I booked the window seat

it's the best seat and em well I got to my seat and there was a woman there in the window seat and I said I was like you know

and you're kind of like do I leave this now or but I was like no it's my seat so I said oh sorry I said that's actually

em I said I always say are you in the right seat because I think that's a better way of opening the conversation because sometimes you do you get it sometimes you can get it wrong and they're like oh actually you're over there so for to be very just careful so it's like sorry is that your seat and she goes oh sorry is it not my seat sorry I don't really know how the seats work and I was like well that's convenient isn't it you don't know you don't know how the seats work, but you thought they might work with you being in the window.

Well, well, well. Convenient for you. So I was like, yeah, that's my window seat. And she looked up at me with these little puppy eyes. And I was like, oh, God. And I went, sorry, it's just I really needed to nap. So that's why I booked the window seat. And she's like, not at all.

And she kind of shuffled out and sat in the aisle. And she was kind of looking at me. And I was like, oh my God. So I had to pretend to be asleep for the whole fucking thing. So I just sat there with my eyes closed. Couldn't even order your space jeans. That's what you get. Listen, I'm not really.

Do you think I didn't wake up to order that space jean? Of course I did. And I can tell you this. Most disappointing thing at the hour weekend. No booze on a domestic. They said, there's no alcohol. It's a domestic flight. I said, excuse's no alcohol. It's a domestic flight. I said, excuse me?

So because of my nationality and closeness of flight, I don't deserve a space jet. I always, when I get on a flight, the only thing I kind of want, sometimes I get a hot chocolate, sometimes I get a tea. So that's always on the menu for me. I don't like to discuss seats on flights

because I made a joke that really didn't go down well and I still actually get some abuse over it. So I won't be talking about seats on flights but I do love the window seat You talking about flights is about as controversial as me talking about fucking a horse to be honest

Joe can you believe Val gets on a plane and orders a green tea and a sound bowl and just sits there? Do you get a cod liver oil, do you? Oh my God.

I have got one of those spots on my face. You know what? Actually, the shape of my face has now changed from the spot that I have on my chin and it is so painful.

I don't know what's going on. I've got so many spots on the side of this face. That's why I'm facing this way. But this one on my chin, Jesus, I don't know what's going on. Your skin looks perfect. No, it's one of the worst my skin has ever been. But really painful spots on my face. I don't know why I'm talking about my spots

it's disgusting sorry I keep asking Instagram I don't know why I just love asking Instagram for advice I find people on Instagram incredibly knowledgeable because they've kind of

gone through the rigmarole already they're like oh no no no I know what that is I went to a doctor and then I had to go to a dermatologist

but anytime I the reason I'm saying is because when you're talking about your skin I always take skin questions to Insta but there's always about six replies

and they're like sorry to break it to you you're perimenopausal and I'm like for fuck's sake girls please oh god I think

right I think because I went off my pill then I went back on it because I haven't got the coil yet because I just haven't got around to doing it I am going to do it but I think that going off and going back on it has made my skin like completely break out

but to torturous painful spots and I got a lot of mails this week speaking of Instagram asking how my booze free holiday is going oh yeah and I'm gonna be really honest okay oh please I'm not a big drinker I don't drink that often as you know I'm finding it very difficult and I'm like I'm so proud I know and I'm and to be honest with you I felt sad last night did you Vogue yeah go on why do you feel sad because everybody was like Gina arrived my auntie Gina arrived and everyone was having a glass of champagne and I kind of felt sad like I was missing out and I really wanted to get involved but i feel like i put this like expectation on myself to not drink for three months and it happened the other night as well we were up my friend sue's house here everyone was having a glass and it was my favorite champagne

and they were all drinking it and they were like oh have a glass and i was like i can't just have one glass because then i've broken it and like i thought i would be like oh no i feel fine i'm not but it's not like that like i've never seen how drunk people get until I'm not drunk. Like they're not that much crack. So around like half nine, I'm like, please God, let me go home. So it's going fine. Do you know why you feel like you're missing out? Because I am.

Because you are, Vogue. Because you are. But I did, I wanted to be honest about it. Do be honest, Vogue. Because you are. But I did, I wanted to be honest about it. Do be honest, do be honest. I think this is really important work. Because all we hear is that when people give it up,

they're like, oh my God, I'm elated. My life is so good. I feel great. I feel healthy and happy. And you've just admitted that you feel depressed and sad

and I think that's important to admit and like I'm missing it now what I will say is you're missing it the level I'm a level 50

smug right the day after obviously I'm like waltzing around I'm just going for a run guys you alright there yeah when you surface

I'll be back by the time you surface okay like that's a nice feeling but it doesn't eclipse the feeling I had the night before where i feel like i want to get involved and we're meant to be going to this party tonight and it's a white party and it sounds like it's going to be loads of fun but will it be fun for me i'm not so sure it's so funny let's just say drink responsibly it's so funny have you ever seen i'm drinking responsibly i'm not drinking there was a really funny meme

do you know Natalie Cassidy yeah it was her drinking a cup of tea looking down her phone on a Sunday morning and she's like swiping through

and the caption was the look of smug when you're looking at people's photos that they put up on the sesh last night before they delete them at 9am

and you're like oh bit of a late one for you Sandra was it oh god is that 6am.m., Sandra? My friend Johanna, who is like, remember I told you she has cameras outside her house.

So her and her sister live beside each other. And she basically rats on people all the time. So she'll be like, I'm real up the house at 5 a.m. this morning. She texted me the other day and she was like, you'll never guess who I bumped into on my run this morning. And this girl in Hoth had been having her wedding and she'd bumped into like two of the wedding guests at 9am on their way home and she was I was like how happy were you when you saw them and she was like you've no idea and I was like I'm thrilled you sent me that message. I sadly have never experienced that feeling I have no idea what that's like.

I've never been the one watching someone else come home. Isn't that tragic? I've woken up and I've seen people. I'm like, oh God, are you still drinking? Did you not go to bed? I'm sure I have as well, though, but I just let people live their lives and I try not to judge.

Do you know what I mean? Speaking of you not boozing, let's talk about your Diet Coke situation. Oh, Jesus. Desperate, desperate. Have you heard the news? I mean, so aspartamine has officially

been linked to cancer. Now, I had a really tough, it was not the week for me to find that out last week. Obviously, with giving up the booze, I was heartbroken. And then I found out that you need to drink 14 cans a day. When I'm on my holidays, I only have two cans a day.

When I'm at home, I have one can a day. But I cannot, I'm not giving, I can't. I can't give them up. I can't. So I, back in the day, it was like early noughties when thin was in and nothing was thin enough. And I was getting slowly groomed to have a pretty intense eating disorder by basically pop culture. I had a book called Skinny Bitch, which was actually a really good book. Now, the name wouldn't be great in this day and age but it was all about nutrition

and food and back they said that aspartame was linked that it was carcinogenic and that was like 2002 2003 i'm not sure why i don't know maybe maybe it's because the who have only now acknowledged i don't know but i i knew that a long time and the reason i i'd kind of forgotten about it and the reason it'd kind of forgotten about it and the reason it came back into my mind was because

I travelled with a girl years ago who was epileptic and she said I can't eat diet products and I was like I said why and she goes

because they give me seizures and I said whoa why and she said because the aspartame the sweetener the artificial sweetener gives me seizures

so it changed her brain patterns and gave her seizures so it changed her brain patterns and gave her seizures so it's always been dodgy now diet coke I've never found it addictive but my one of my friends was absolutely hooked on it like couldn't stop drinking it she was on 15 cans a day kind of vibes so is Elon Musk, Karl Lagerfeld, Kate Moss. They're all addicted to it. Yeah. I mean, you can't. Allegedly. You can't. Now, when I used to have tea,

and before I gave up sugar in my tea for Lent one year, I was having three sweeteners in my tea, and I'd be having like six teas a day. So that was like really bad for aspartame. But I'm just trying to tell you now that I'm not giving it up, right? I'm not giving the coke up or the or the fanta zero what what kind of life would that be do you know that's apparently there's

um because I was mad for sweeteners as well and the reason I gave them up was because I heard all that dodgy stuff about them being carcinogenic I was I used to have a thing of candera and I would just I'd be pouring it in I'd be chatting as I went in like I wasn't even it was and then of course it makes you want more sweets but there's all these studies done where they they it's so I'd be pouring it in I'd be chatting As I went in Like I wasn't even It was And then of course It makes you want more sweets But there's all these Studies done Where they

It's so sad They get these rats In Makes them sound like The rats are volunteering They're not The rats are stuck there They get these rats in

Get them addicted to coke And then see cocaine And then see what else They'll choose over cocaine And then they always Bring out these stats Saying like this is more Addicted than cocaine.

But one of them was sweeteners. So these rats, lab rats, who are already addicted to cocaine all chose sweetener over cocaine. That's how addictive it is.

Stop. Because it's just so sweet. We love it. I want to do Zabby the Cat who the hell is Zabby the Cat well well well here Joanne

you sent something to the group yesterday can we talk about it? What about Zebby? Well, I'm waiting for you to talk about Zebby the cat. I thought you hadn't found it. I have, it's here. Support cat who hears for deaf owner wins national award.

I don't know why. Some stories just tickle you. So a cat who helps his deaf owner by alerting her to sounds around the house has won a national award. If we thought our jobs were under threat by AI, Zebby would want to be shitting himself. All he does is tap her on the arm with the doorbell rings and he won a fucking award. What kind of award?

They give awards to anyone these days. What the hell? It's some cat award. I don't know. Anyway, Zebby, a two-year-old black and white cat from Shurterfield in Derbyshire, those English places we can't pronounce, was named Cats Protection National Cat of the Year. Genevieve Moss, she's deaf, grand. He's not in any special training.

Was chosen from thousands of other pets. And I was like, oh my God, he must be like, you know, kind of feeding her Braille or something. Like, what is he doing? Nothing, just brings the post to her. And, hold on. I mean, Winston lets me know when someone's at the door but Winston knows when someone's at the door before they've even gotten in the gate he's so clued in and Winston hasn't even had a sniff of an award

is all I'm saying he'll come and tap me when the phone is ringing and then I can pop my hearing aid in and take the call I mean I'm not being bad it's hardly award winning is it I wouldn't that wouldn't now that wouldn't. No, that wouldn't be. I saw a dog carrying someone shopping the other day and I thought that's award winning. And I found I'm going to do anything that Zebby can do. Zebby don't want to watch his back. Tech is coming for him.

As soon as Zebby's owner knows that she can get a ring doorbell, that's it. The cat won a trophy on a 200 pound pet store voucher which was a fucking tie, to be honest. Also, on the board. Yeah, I know won a trophy and a 200 pound pet store voucher which I thought was a bit fucking tight to be honest. Also on the board yeah I know it's like a 200 pound

she's like I can't live without him here's a 200 pound pet shop voucher. Wouldn't even get him a ball these days with the cost of living crisis.

He was then crowned overall winner by a panel of celebrities and experts including former footballer David Seaman. Seriously?

What the fuck creds does he have? Like, that's like me saying, hi, I have to go guys, I want to judge the Masters. What? David Seaman was judging. I can't say his,

I can't say his name, but I just, honestly, it's just really difficult for me to not think of. Do you know him, Joe? Do you know David Seaman? Yeah, goalkeeper.

He's got long hair. He's a legend from the late 90s. Is he deaf? No. No, he's not deaf. Then what's he doing on the panel? Is he a cat? Do you know David Seaman? Yeah, goalkeeper. He's got long hair. From the late 90s. Is he deaf? No. No, he's not deaf. And what's he doing on the panel? Is he a cat? What's he doing there?

He enjoys cats. Famous for having a moustache. I think he was famous for being a good goalie as well, Joe. Was he not, no? Yeah, I mean, yeah. Also the goalkeeper, but the moustache was pretty impressive. Yeah, also the gold cushion, but the moustache was pretty impressive. Here, I wanted to tell you something that I saw this week.

Yeah. Right? And I don't know if you've noticed, but you're welcome. I haven't discussed the Kardashians in a long time. I think that you'll have noticed. Am I right? I hadn't. I hadn't noticed, to be honest.

I hadn't noticed. Jo, have you noticed that I have not brought the Kardashians up? I didn't even bring up the fact that Kourtney's pregnant. But thank you. Over the weekend, Kylie Jenner and ex-best friend Jordan Woods were spotted coming out of a sushi restaurant having dinner together

four years after the best friend had been chopped out of Kylie Jenner's life. I'm so pleased. How do we feel? I think it's brilliant. I love that. Love it, love it, love it, love it, love it. All at the moment,

it feels like all the chat is about boundaries and removing toxic people from your life. We're like, that's just your friend, Sarah, who had a bit of a fucking madden at the weekend and acted like a dick. Don't cut her out. I'm all about forgiveness. Bring them back in the world.

I would say I'm so happy that they're friends again. I am completely all about forgiveness. There have been a few friendships in my life that have not worked out. Two that have not worked out, which was a real shame because I can't stand falling out with people. But my one no going back rule is if I can't trust you, I cannot be friends with you. And there's no, there's no, that's the place of no return. So Joe, be careful because I know what you're like. Okay.

Trust me, mate. I don't want to have to not trust you. Do you remember though that Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie used to hate each other, became friends again? Yeah, but they never, they kind of, they can't, from my memory of it was they did became friends again yeah but they never they kind of they can't from my memory of it was they did become friends again but they never

were seen maybe I'm wrong hanging out or anything really I think that friendship was sometimes there was I think that it was

just too much damage done there I mean I think we did call Richie Shouter a sex tape at a party I mean that's very that's very hard

to come back from to be fair oh god well I think that was the story yeah as weird as this is I'd probably forgive that

because I'd know that everyone had seen it anyway so I'd probably forgive that because it's not a trust thing it's not well I don't know

maybe it is that to me wouldn't suggest that person likes me very much yeah okay well Joanne all I'm saying is I sent you that tape

for your own eyes not for anyone else's you said you wanted to see Spenny and I and that's the only is I sent you that tape for your own eyes, not for anyone else's. You said you wanted to see Spani and I, and that's the only reason I sent it to you. Okay? If you sent me a sex tape of you and Spani, immediately what I would do is use AI, put my own head in it,

and then release it to get a better career. A deep fake of me riding Spano. Everywhere. Paris Gazette. You name it. Everywhere. What Gazette, you name it. Everywhere. What am I going to do about my deep fakes? Honestly, they're still there.

Because they're so, do you know what? They're not deep fakes. They're very shallow fakes. They're very clear that they're not real. They're so badly done. Are you sure there's one, there's one where the dicks are in the ears

looks pretty real to me. Actually, no, that does look really real. Actually, yeah, that does. I thought that was you. I thought, no. This was planting the story that it's to me. Actually, no, that does look really real. I thought that was you. This was planting the story that it's not you. Smart. Oh, yeah, there we go. Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow used to be friends.

Broke up as friends. Oh, why? Well, because supposedly Gwyneth can become jealous and competitive. I mean, I'm assuming Madonna must be competitive. Not necessarily jealous because she's Madonna. But I'd say she must be competitive not necessarily jealous because she's Madonna but I'd say

she's quite competitive I'd say she's pretty jealous I think her and Lady Gaga I think she was kind of mean to Lady Gaga when she came on the scene Madonna was I like Lady Gaga

I like Lady Gaga I think anyone in a position of power like that looks behind and sees if you feel like you are the

iconic superstar in that genre and then there's like a young upstart coming up, coming up the back passage, as they say. I can imagine people like Madonna would get pretty territorial for sure. But that's the thing. Sometimes jealousy does ruin friendships because you feel like they're getting stuff you should be getting.

I mean, I've told you a million times, if me and you ever fall out, which we won't, but if we do, where do they say we're going? We're going to couples therapy. We're going to couples therapy. Bam. 100%.

The only way we'll fall out is if I start doing comedy. Or if I start working out. Yeah. Two things that are just never going to happen. I actually do work out sometimes. I do.

I actually quite like it. I make out like I just like I just sit around like a goblin in my bed rotting away all the time I don't I do

Joanne Joanne will train like let's say I'm training with John Belton and he's training us for half an hour Joanne might get into about

you and I have a very similar technique you might do about 12 minutes and then you'll see her wander off with a kettlebell somewhere on her own

and you don't know what she's going to do with the kettlebell but she'll start doing just her own little stuff it's like okay the moves that you do the moves that you do with him are too hard for me and I like training but I don't like feeling like I don't know what I'm doing do you know what I mean so I'm like I'll just go over here and do a bit of egg and spoon in the corner do you know what I mean and you can do you can do your 20 kg squats because you're more accomplished in that area thank you very much everyone for listening this is the last main episode but we've got a bonus coming next week then we're having a couple of weeks off and then we're back isn't that right Joanna you're on your holidays too no Vogue I have a job thanks for listening everyone

excuse me oh sorry sorry I'm off to Montreal for the Just for Laughs comedy festival if anyone's in Montreal and they'd like to come and see the Prosecco Express

I will be doing it in Montreal joannmcnally.com for details that was actually quite good. Well done, Joanne. Thanks everyone for listening and we will see you on the bonus next week but we won't see you.