My Therapist Ghosted Me - Rip Off Biography, Birthday Retweets & Beyoncé

Episode Date: June 2, 2023

Vogue & Joanne are both in disbelief at Amber's (Vogue's sister) actions this week. It's hit them hard. Plus, a rip off purchase, an expensive toe ring and a VERY long drive.If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/MTGM is going on tour in Ireland & The UK! For tickets, merch and more, visit mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player Original Podcast. Hello and welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me with Mebo Williams and Joanne McNally. Lovely to be here. Lovely to be here Joanne I absolutely love your Are we recording? Yeah Can I say something?

I love your headphones They look really similar To a pair I used to own You mean the pair that you gave me? Yes Thank you very much for the gift Vogue I said that at the time They were not a gift They were not a very much for the gift, Vogue I said that at the time They were not a gift

They were not a gift You handed them to me And now I have them all the time What is that? That's a gift Okay, okay That's where we're at Fine, there's loads of shit of yours that I want

So if that's the game we're playing I'll tell you what I'll do, Vogue I'll give you back your earphones For my duvet cover How about that? That duvet cover went to a good home It did Do you know that

nice new ring you got I'll have that you paid it for it speaking of rings oh Alan got Joanna a really nice ring for her 40th birthday but really nice

like a fully stealable quality yeah so I will be I will be stealing it oh I thought you meant the ring that you got

you got me oh no I haven't got that yet oh do you mean that Versace yeah it's stunning it's like a vintage Versace ring Yeah it's pretty cool He did a good job

He did a very good job Grey's Jewellers in town I should say Because I'm pretty sure They gave him a discount Because Alan obviously Told me how much the ring was worth Within

I hadn't even I hadn't even hit my knuckle And he told me how much The ring was worth He cannot help himself Yeah Spencer has that disease too He can't help it Can't help himself

So I know it cost, I know that she gave him a good discount. So thank you, Grace Jewellery in town. Plug, plug, plug, plug, plug, plug. Talia, the people that you want on your side, jewellers. Yes, agree. Dentists, doctors.

People in the passport office. People in the passport office and someone in the revenue. In the revenue and someone in the post office. I have a nightmare at the post office. You do, to be fair. You know how I feel about the post office.

People sometimes say, do you have an assistant? And I'm like, no. But like, if there was one job I'd have an assistant for, it would be going to the post office. I just hate it. If Vogue was old enough, I would think it was actually her that shot up the GPO in Dublin. I don't know if you know the history of Ireland.

Probably not. But there's some bullet holes in our general post office in town. It was during the revolution. Don't worry about it. Someday you'll take an interest in the country that's making you all your money. Yeah. Maybe not today, Jo, but at some stage, you might take an interest in your bread and butter.

Huge interest. No, lots of interest Well Joe was in Cork with us For the live at the Marquee Where we did Ghosted Live And now he's like He was full Like full in like

Pints of Guinness Iron jumpers He went Had a Beamish A Beamish Did you have a Beamish? Yeah he had a Beamish My first ever Beamish

Yeah I'll tell you what Beamish or Guinness Joe If you had a gun to your head. Guinness wins out, I'm afraid. Amber told me, right, she said, if you have three Guinnesses,

it's like you're high. That's what she said to me. I think it's Guinness. I think the plural of Guinnesses is Guinness Eye, actually. If you have three Guinness Eye, then you will get high. That rhymes.

We're poets. We don't know it You'd be fucking You'd be licking the walls After half I know No it's It's one and a half drinks

Is my sweet spot Two A bit too far A bit too far You're the most amazingly Curated Like Luckiest lightweight

I've ever encountered I know But saying that I used to have I used to have a shoulder Joe it's like a half a bottle of vodka but it's like what 500

it's not 500 mils it's a bit smaller than that and two cans of Bulmers before I'd go out and I would never make it past one o'clock yeah I'm like

but I had no money to buy drinks so I was like I'll just tank up before I go out but then I would over tank and have to go home yeah you'd miss miss George the tanking I was the same I'd drink a whole. So I was like, I'll just tank up before I go out. But then I would over tank and have to go home.

Yeah, you'd miss George the tanking. I was the same. I'd drink a whole bottle before I go out, a whole bottle of wine, which is like, you just can't. Like, you just can't do that.

That was during the days when I had no stem. So no, I was just always there with the goblet of wine. I told you about this, didn't I? Where I'd break the leg off the glass. Why?

Because I'd be drunk and I'd be very animated and I'd be like, and another I? Where I'd break the leg off the glass. Why? Because I'd be drunk and I'd be very animated. And I'd be like, and another thing. And I'd bang the thing and the stem would like snap off. And I'd just be drinking out of ultimately a weapon. So come here to me. I've just come back from Frozen, the musical. Jo, you'll be going there in a few years time. I took the kids, T and Shishi.

We had a lovely time. But I realized that I have like, like a real, like, I'm going to call it a disorder. Oh, thank God we're admitting it. Go on, which one? So like, I knew when the show was ending because I asked.

And then I was like, come on kids, we've got to go. We'll watch the rest when we get to the back. And I was like, yeah, right. So I took them straight out. I was like, oh, it's over. Let's go. And they're like, it's not mommy. I was like, it is we've got to go we'll watch the rest when we get to the to the back and I was like yeah right so I took them straight out I was like oh it's over let's go and they're like it's not mummy I was like it is let's go let's go I can't stay till the end like when I went to see Elton John I got there and I was like oh my god I fucked up I have I don't know when this ends so I had to start googling stage times and stuff like that and I have to leave before the end because I cannot stand being stuck in like the big crowd. You have whatever the social equivalent

of premature ejaculation. What is it? I don't know what it is. That's what I have. Yeah. I did it at Beyonce. I went to Beyonce this week. Having a Vogue, yeah.

Oh my God, he Vogued all over me. It was gross. Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, before we get to Beyonce, Vogue, when me and you ultimately and inevitably open up Our own aesthetic clinic It will be called Frozen

You know it It's the perfect name All the branding is there It is a good name Now it'll be tough To fight with the SEO Stop trying to drag me Into this frozen hole

With you okay Sorry Right Okay we'll call it Locked in syndrome Whatever you want to call it Whatever makes it look Like we're frozen in time

Tell me about Beyonce so now I have to be careful because like I love Beyonce but I don't actually know

very many of her songs so I know like Crazy in Love and like all those really good ones yeah so I didn't know any

what I will say about Beyonce is she's the biggest ride I've ever come across ever I think ever yeah she's pretty hot

it's just everything about her she's really sexy like really sexy I'd say she could be picking her nose and she'd still look sexy she's one of those people yeah but so she was really really good obviously didn't stay till the end because of

my disorder yeah condition but we had a really nice time. But I thought we could, I think that you and I need to change up our stage outfits. She was going around in a corseted swimsuit vibe. And I think that like, I want that for me. Was she on the horse? Isn't there some sort of like diamante horse or something? I didn't see the diamante horse.

There was like a big truck, a silver truck. There was a giant black horse wasn't a very attractive looking horse. It was only his face and like two paws or what are they called? Hooves. Did it look like it was like high end? Did it look like it cost a fortune? I mean she looked like she threw money at that show.

Well she had to. Did she do the whole I love you and then pause to think about where she was? I wouldn't say that so so she was amazing I would just like to repeat but she did go and change into these amazing outfits but there was like a five minute kind of interlude between each change so like she'd kind of disappear for five minutes and then she'd come back and she'd do some songs and some outrageous outfit like she had this full sequined red jumpsuit that you would look amazing in. So I thought

that could be you for the pod show. So when she's gone, what happens in those five minutes? Well, not a lot, to be honest with you.

Oh, it's just like dead air. Is no one like dancing and stuff? No, they have like a musical interlude. Like you kind of don't even see anything if Beyonce's not on stage because you're just like

I just want Beyonce that should be like Bucks fizz stuff she should just have one outfit ripped off and then the next one is just under her ready to go

she shouldn't be leaving and coming back on no and I'm not throwing any shade but Frozen Frozen Elsa was on stage today and basically

like she just went BAM and she stayed on stage and whoever had ripped her outfit off from like below and then she was just went BAM and she stayed on stage and whoever had ripped her outfit off from like below and then she was just

in this glittering like shiny dress and she looked amazing that's what you want questionably consensual costume changes yeah

on stage just rip it all off now her costumes Beyonce's costumes were just amazing and her hair was amazing she looked her game do you remember when

who was it who used to slag her off but her mum used to make all her costumes for her and I just she sucked her game do you remember when who was it who used to slag her off but her mum used to make all her costumes for her and they were like you know very naughty costumes very kind of like

stitched together in a basement kind of costumes I actually saw a picture of her recently in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and I was like it's just so strange

to see her like that I can't imagine she ever would be like that but a lot of those like kind of performance outfits I don't know maybe there's a rule but there's lot of those like kind of performance outfits, I don't know, maybe there's a real,

but they look like kind of ice skating outfits. There's kind of like skin colored tights and bits cut out and I don't know. And like, oh, okay,

so I was thinking about Beyonce and my favorite Beyonce moments. Do you remember, also I'm working on this other project about conspiracy theories so my head is kind of like,

you know, in conspiracy land. Oh, I know what you're talking about. Do you remember her pregnancy? Do you remember also I'm working on this other project about conspiracy theories so my head is kind of like you know in conspiracy land oh I know what you're doing do you remember her pregnancy do you remember the baby folded over on a chat show do you remember this show yeah I just I just I I don't think Beyonce would do that the rumor was that she was having surrogates but this was back before like everyone was kind of openly having a surrogate yeah and the rumour was that she was having a surrogate have her babies

but that she didn't want people to know so she'd stuffed what looked like the worst fake pregnancy belly and then when she sat down at a chat show

I can't remember who it was with it wasn't Oprah or anything but it folded over and it went viral then and I because I am incredibly suggestible kind of believed it at the time, but I didn't understand the power of Photoshop.

Oh, yeah. Oh, why? Do you think it was just Photoshopped? 100%. I don't think it was true. But then all these rumors were coming out that she was in the Illuminati and that she'd been sent to kind of, to brainwash us. And I was like, that kind of makes sense because all her songs Are like to the left To the left

So maybe she's trying To relaunch communism Or something I don't know I'm going to get ready For this jelly What's the jelly What's the jelly

What is the jelly What's the jelly What's in the jelly But we'll have the jelly Jelly could be Trump It could be capitalism I don't know what it is But apparently she's trying

To send us signals I don't know Like that picture Does look a bit strange But then yeah You forget that it could be photoshopped Of course it is Babies don't know like that picture does look a bit strange but then yeah you forget that it could be photoshopped of course it is

babies don't fold you should know that babies are just really hard and you can't do anything they're hardcore they are hardcore they don't budge

it's funny though everyone kind of believed that I did at the time it was kind of the start of people faking it was the first

fake story like that that I fully believed Yeah It was a I mean I'd also come off The back and believe That 9-11 was an inside job So I was definitely

In that world But yeah It's like Oh my god Her belly Her baby's a folded It's It's a lie

Maybe she has A foldable baby Maybe she has A foldable baby How modern Alan are you alright? who's gone? sorry Jo

that was that was that was passive aggressive bang around I hear Alan shut up so it's Blue Ivy Did you see the child

She was the child on stage With her name She only came out one night So the night that I didn't go Leonardo DiCaprio's there Kris Jenner Blue Ivy Jay-Z

Who I fucking love They were all there The night before Oh Stare Absolutely sick Not like I would have been Anywhere near them anyway

But still I would have liked to have breathed their air in the staging. I have this theory about Blue Ivy. Now, I could be wrong. But, no, Blue Ivy is fine. She's a fine performer. I'm not being bad, but I know that this is going to be wrong,

so continue. I just think, I kind of have to, I think I have the measure of Beyonce. And I think... Are you talking about Nepo? No, well, I mean, Blue Ivy's obviously

a Nepo baby that's fine like you can't if you're like look if my mum had a job that I'd wanted she would have given me

a helping hand she actually did have a job I wanted I wanted to be a nurse but she talked me out of it but anyway so I'm like whatever the opposite

of a Nepo baby is but she you know parents help with their kids like that's what they do but Blue Ivy's on stage and she's kind of like

marching around and I was thinking to myself if she was really good She wouldn't be there Like I just have this theory That Beyonce's like You can get involved Because you're not great

But like No one's going to make Shine Beyonce If she was really good She'd have been Sent off to a Disney school At this stage And we wouldn't see her

Guarantee it Guarantee it I mean I mean she's 11 so she's not really going to be really good at anything yet. If Miley Cyrus was

Beyonce's daughter she wouldn't be on stage. Guarantee it. I don't know. She's fine. She's good. I just think that it's like Beyonce.

I thought she was just walking on the show though. I didn't think she didn't do anything. She's kind of marching around. Like, I could do that. Exactly. Remember I was doing a gig

a couple of weeks ago and I told you that There was loads of girls And they had like these Huge enormous ring lights Like the size of your laptop So funny So we're at Beyonce

And there was a girl That was from A big TV show Oh She was a contestant on it Name and shame Would we know her No no no

I don't think so Someone just told me What she was from And she's standing Like right Like so we're Like we were Up the top And like there's no no no no I don't think so someone just told me what she was from and she's standing like right like so we're like we were up the top

and like there's stairs that go down she's standing like in the middle of the stairs for six or seven minutes and her friend has this massive ring light

on her as she's posing for pictures and no one can get by her no one can get down to see Beyonce and it's like I was absolutely I couldn't I

couldn't take my eyes off her I think it was during when Beyonce was playing crazy in love as well and I was like there is nothing else I can look at besides what's going on here in the steps how many sets of balls would you need to have to do that honestly now tell me I think you'd have to have like 10 ball sacks yeah at least it's a lot of kahunas now the only thing I will say is remember so Davina Devine was doing her show with us in Cork and she had that amazing ring light and I swear to god I've never looked better and it made me think you know I actually maybe we should start doing that more instead of complaining what we look like we should just bring out a giant ring light. A ring light the size of Saturn.

Just always. We should have it nailed into Joe's torso so whenever he's standing in front of us, we just glow. That is a fantastic idea. Davina Devine, one of Ireland's best drag acts, if not the best,

we're absolutely thrilled to have her as part of the show, has a huge ring light as you would expect a drag queen to have however Young was at a Beyonce concert I would just be so ashamed like

I thought we were all on the same page that vanity needs to be kind of played down I know but the only thing is I used to be really scarlet doing like an Insta story

if I was out and about but now I just have no shame in the game I've just got the phone out and I'm doing it so maybe it's just that's the step up I just haven't gone another ring up the ladder insta stories are a gateway drug to bringing a ring light to Beyonce I think so and were people kind of I'm packing for Glastonbury were people accepting of it or were they kind of rolling their eyes no everybody was like staring oh my god that's when you sent me down that hole of influencers

in the wild oh yeah it's brilliant I couldn't stop sending Joanne videos from that page it is so amazing where you just see

a lot of ass action lots of beep beep yeah I didn't do that first and like just to get the shot people are amazing the funniest one you sent me

was your one reading her book on the beach so she sets up this camera you know like her tits are perfectly kind of leaning in, like, you know, kind of like glistening in the sea,

in the ocean. She's on the beach and she's reading this book. It's just so funny. Like pretending to read a book. She's like just kneeling in front of the camera just pretending to read this book.

And the caption is like, you guys have been asking what I've been reading lately. Yeah. Oh God. It's so funny. I remember a couple of times I've seen people influencing

in the wild and whatever by doing an Insta story, I've seen them redo shots and they bring lights and everything and it is genuinely mortifying. It is.

Like, it just is. I get embarrassed sometimes to film outside and it's embarrassing when a camera crew where they're filming you, you feel very self-conscious.

I don't know. They must, I don't know. I don't know they must I don't know I don't know I suppose it's all about getting the shot and they just want the shot it's so they're the people

that I think their world is in the phone I don't think they their world is the outside world doesn't really appeal to them that much they don't care

the only value is what's in the phone and the reactions in the phone that's what I think well yeah imagine dragging a ring light in the tube to Beyonce like I just can't get my head around it

it was like it was kind of fascinating but then I was going to take a video and then I was like that's a bit mean if I take a video and I was going to tag influencer in the wild but I just didn't do it

something else happened to me this week so obviously Tina Turner died and I love Tina Turner what? this is new information. Joey, we can't do the pod. She doesn't know.

I had a few drinks like the night she died because like I was genuinely sad. Like when I say I love Tina Turner, she is the best person I've ever seen before in my life. Like I'm obsessed with her. And so I was having a few drinks watching the Tina Turner

biography and decided to myself purchase her biography for £22 and it arrived look it's arrived what? why is it so thin?

somebody at home has obviously put this like 26 page little book together and absolutely rinsed me and it's charging 22 quid yeah

yeah that's what happens when you have a few drinks you buy absolute pieces of shit hold on are they allowed to do that I'm like

you know what I'm like I'm not I don't want to go to the post office I'm not bringing the book back I'd go to the police don't mind the post office I'd go to the FBI how could they just write that

most of it is about the awards she's won look just pages and pages of awards like that's basically a footnote of her life it's supposed to come

with a story as well they've just basically sent you the index no the story's about six pages long there you go sorry how insulting to Tina Turner

who has lived one of the most interesting lives of anyone like oh yeah actually we kind of we cut it down to six pages Tina it was rattling on

I'd say it's about 300 words I'm not joking 300 words that's like the cliff notes of Tina Turner's life and because I don't

have an assistant I can't bring it back I'm not going to the post office they saw you coming a mile off absolutely locked I was like

oh my Tina I just can't believe they're charging 22 quid for that did you look at the the reviews Joanne

I was for vodka zin. No, I mean since. I wasn't looking. No, I haven't looked at it yet. That's how I got, remember all that gym gear that I bought during lockdown? I was like, it's taking ages.

No. Did I not tell you? When lockdown first hit and of course everyone was like, couldn't even look out the letterbox for fear of getting like, you know, it. Yeah, yeah.

And I ordered a load of gym gear online and I and it suited me at the start it suited me down to the ground that it didn't arrive because I was saying to myself oh well once the gym gear gets here you know like once the once the weights get here that's it yeah yeah then I'll start um it was just merlot and monster up to that point I was like once the gym gear gear gets here and it just it was rolling on for ages and then I went to check and the and the account

had been completely shut down and I looked and then I looked at the reviews and they were like this is a scam yeah

yes the kettlebells never came thank god who knows where I'd be in my life if that gym equipment arrived in time you just don't know

I think lockdown would have been a very different time for you I think you would have really excelled I think I would have excelled I could know. I think lockdown would have been a very different time for you. I think you would have really excelled. I think I would have excelled. I could have become a PT.

You would have been bodybuilding. Yeah. Retrained. Yeah. Absolutely. Oh, can we have a moment, by the way? My new collection landed today.

Look at my dress. Look at my goona. Promote me, Joanne. Promote me. That's really nice i saw it earlier on your insta stories thank you very much it's kind of gothy uh i wouldn't really say that i would say it's more like a garden picnic dress or maybe a possible wedding dress or yes possibly if you know what a cardigan i was gonna say yeah you're off to tina's wake by the looks of it yeah well you know what you're off the list anyway

you won't be getting anything and I've got two amazing jumpsuits coming out soon and do you know who's not getting any Joanne McNally come here to me we were in Cork this week

Jo obviously we were all there and we have started getting little samples of our ghosted merch and I was wearing one of them down to the reception

and like the staff there are generally really, really nice but this woman turned around and she goes, oh, you're wrecked. Yeah,

in the Montanati and she turned around and she goes, oh, you're wrecked and I was like, excuse me? And she's like,

you're wrecked and I was like, well, actually, yeah, I do feel a bit wrecked. I do feel a bit wrecked and I kind of was like,

I was like, what is she saying that to me for? And then I realized it said wrecked on the back of my jumper. It took me till I took that jumper off to realize that she was saying it because my jumper said wrecked. Just reading what she saw.

But why does our merch say wrecked? Because I say wrecked all the time. Oh. I'm wrecked. That went completely over my head. Did it? Yeah. Wrecked.

Wrecked. There's another one that says Twinkies for the room. Nice, yeah. Love. That's more you. Wrecked people will know wrecked about me. I love talking about being wrecked there's another one that says twinkies for the room nice yeah love that's more you wrecked people will know wrecked about me

I love talking about the wrecks I forgot to tell you I went to I went to a wedding well I missed the wedding but I went to the day before

for Spenny's nephew and I was sitting beside a man and for over 35 minutes we spoke about sleep he was more obsessed with sleep than I was sitting beside a man and for over 35 minutes, we spoke about sleep.

He was more obsessed with sleep than I was. He was showing me all of his recent sleep scores. Oh my gosh. We were talking about how deep sleep makes you younger, Joanne. You need to know how much deep sleep you're getting. They obviously intentionally sat you bored together. They were like these two losers. They're talking about their sleep.

That's a real high-end wedding when they put that much thought into the table planning. These two losers are obsessed with sleep. Put them together. Alan came in with a wrap and he's like, taste that. And I just sensed

there was something off with the whole thing. Anyway, hot chicken mushed with cold tuna. Oh God, no. Kelso and cheese. And I said,

Alan, what the fuck is wrong with you? And he's like, taste it. And I did. And do you know what? It was delicious. Oh, I don't know about that now.

I'd like to do, we should do a shout out for Weird Food Combos. I'd like to see what else is going on out there Actually Vogue And you know That I do try

And just slightly limit Our sleep talk However I will say this to you You know the way I'm having trouble With my Google Maps At the moment

I either I've checked everything I don't know what's going on But like I drove Dublin to Castlebar On Friday for I had a Prosecco I was in the show In Castlebar It's going on But like I drove Dublin to Castlebar On Friday for I had a Prosecco I was in the show

In Castlebar It's supposed to be A three hour drive Six hours Oh my god Six hours And now I did stop For half an hour for lunch

Because I needed to refuel I was literally Like I couldn't keep driving Six Six hours So and I've checked All my settings It's like it's set to

Some secret Like whimsical setting Where it's like Bring me past the ferry forts I don't know like it's set to some secret, like whimsical setting where it's like, bring me past the ferry forts. I don't know what it's set to. I can't see it. There's nothing visibly set, but it feels like I'm

on an orienteering weekend. Six hours to Casa Bar. So I got there an hour before the show. I was supposed to get there and like nap and shower and everything. I had to go straight to the venue. Then driving home from Cork to Dublin, Adam left an hour after me

Got home an hour Before me Oh Joanne Why didn't you just follow him Because he was leaving After me So Adam was like

Don't come off the N20 Joanne Whatever your maps tell you Don't come off the N20 But my maps were like Joanne We're telling you You have to come off the N20

Joanne Come see the welly Behind the well Whatever I don't know what I'm saying. So off I went, off into the wilderness. Like I was like,

I'm going to need a rambler to get through this. Like I was like off road. I drove right through Mallow Town, but I tell you, I've never been in so many galas. Every gala in centre, by the time I landed in Dublin,

Alan opened the door and it was just full of sandwich packets and crisp packets and everything. Okay, I don't have a half an hour for shop stops. For stoppages. There isn't a Freddo left in Ireland I picked them all up but this one's gonna say to you so I was about nine hours into the drive home and I was like who am I where am I going and my eyes started closing so much because Cork was very full on for us and I had a bit of a late night One of the nights Yeah Me and Davina had a real

Like we had a big You know Just one of those nights Where you're just talking And it goes on Until the early hours And My eyes were like

Closing Oh god And then I saw one of those Tiredness kill signs And I went Yeah it does It does So I pulled into

One of those Like picnic area parking Whatever those kind of Life saving sleepy areas are Straight asleep 40 minutes Stop Opened my eyes

Back on the road Another nine hours later Got back to Anisker Yeah fell asleep Oh my god That's fascinating Where did you sleep in the car Did you just stay in your normal seat

Or move into the back No no no I just kind of The back seat And then put a hoodie over my head And I was out like a lot It was the kind of tiredness where

you're like I can't fight this I'd had like nine out lattes and I was like I can't fight it it's going to win the sleeping is going to win that happened to me on the plane

I did have a 45 minute nap on the plane and that doesn't usually happen I had so much selling sunset to watch and I haven't even seen it is it as good as people say?

I mean just for the outfits are just fascinating and I haven't even seen it. Is it as good as people say? I mean, just for the outfits are just fascinating. And I watched the first Kardashians and I had like Kourtney Kardashian, seriously, like I know that sometimes when you're with somebody you might like borrow the odd hoodie or something. Yesterday, right, she

was going around in a full black tracksuit with a skeleton painted on it. Like, it looked like I thought it looked like she was going out for Halloween I'm like like you would never have worn something like that ever before you were with him and they're still going on about riding each other all the time it's over now I do believe that couples do influence each other yeah for sure yeah yeah like there's some of Spano's clothes

that I would happily wear what? yeah some of his clothes I know that's actually quite shocking oh you mean now as in but like

yeah yeah yeah now but like even I we were looking at stuff for the show and there was a photo of me, Vogue and Spano we were looking at and like even the clothes

he was wearing back then I know he wouldn't wear now no he wouldn't no he. No, he wouldn't. No. He has a real style about himself that he likes to just have all the time. You know he's gone off now for 10 days?

Where has he gone? He's gone with John Belton. They are doing a five-day ultramarathon in... Well, he's in Peru now, so I don't know where he's going after that. Peru? They're doing an ultramarathon.

Yeah. They have to sleep outside in the jungle every night in a hammock he's going after that Peru? yeah they have to sleep outside in the jungle every night in a hammock that they have to put up themselves they have to bring their own like dry food and everything and they have been told

not to piss when they're in the water because there are these fish that find find the warm flow and swim up into your dick

yeah and they've been told like it happens to so many people do not do it and supposedly there's like 45 people in the race and only seven people will make it to the end they've got fins joe and then they they go right down the eye of your penis no no no no no no and they attach to your balls like a piranha yeah i heard that yeah i heard that yeah yeah and they rip open your what's that what's that string urethra urethra what's the string called? Urethra. Urethra. What's the string called that kind of holds it all together, Jo?

Banjo, the banjo string. The banjo string. That's what I heard. They start playing the banjo string with their teeth. That's what I heard. Oh, come on. Oh, God.

It ought to be a good night, Jo. I've been petting it. Do you know what I was, do you know what I was, that don't impress me much. You're like, what? There's a piranha playing

That doesn't impress Shania Twain on Joe's banjo string What's happening? It's Peru Fight like me da There's a piranha on Double Denim Playing Joe's banjo string I hope the Daily Mail

Snap that if that happens to Sp string I hope the Daily Mail snapped that if that happens to Span I'd fucking love to see that I wouldn't then he'd come home with like fish in his balls he has little fishes

in his balls anyway he does have fish in his balls actually yeah gross oh god happy birthday by the way

Joanne happy birthday to Ambie Bambie my sister turned 40 this week and Joanne and I have since cut her from our lives She did something we don't agree with Yeah

It's a political move that me and Vogue we just don't agree, she has different she's coming at life from a different angle than we are and we've had to cut her out We've had to cut her out, she just doesn't agree She has different She's coming at life From a different angle Than we are And we've had to cut her out We've had to cut her out She just doesn't align With our values anymore No

She has entered The church of Scientology No I'm only joking It's actually way worse than that It's way worse Yeah She's joined an improv group Yeah

You're dead to us You weirdo She's done something worse than all of that combined all of it what she did and she did it repeatedly over and over

and over again again and again and again and it's each one each one more disgusting than the next yeah

hurtful deceitful girl sick perverse perverse unethical perverted perverse unethical perverted

perverted not sustainable we're just like a thesaurus now just like spitting out rework what she did was she

and this was even after the day of birth so she's been retweeting her own birthday greetings left right and centre Joanne

she's been resharing her own birthday greetings I feel ill I Joanne she's been resharing her own birthday greetings I feel ill I'm actually I'm worried for myself I'm scared it might rub off on me

because she's she's family where is she now is she I presume you've kicked her out she's gone I don't know where she's I don't know where she's gone to

I think she told me she was going to get help yeah she's gone into some sort of detox centre with other people who do that shit she's yeah I think she told me She was going to get help Yeah she's gone Into some sort of Detox centre With other people Who do that shit She's yeah

I think she's gone To try and find some help You can't She needs it When they found her She was frothing at the mouth With her phone In her hands

Re-share Re-share Re-share No one over 11 years of age Can take that much pressure On their own birthday It's Like

Listen Don't get me wrong I enjoyed my birthday this year I spoke about it Because it was a big one for me But like You're actually meant to do More birthdaying by the way

Her 40th I understand It's a big one It's a big one But the resharing There's just certain things That me and Vogue Just don't agree with

We just We can't handle it. Resharing your own birthday greetings is one. Unacceptable. And celebrating how many followers, numbers of followers. Anyone with a set of balloons hitting 10k, a million followers, we don't agree with. No, we just don't. It goes against our very core.

It goes against our beliefs and values. I told you that Bare by Vogue sent me a 100k balloon. And I was like, please don't make me post that balloon and I was like please don't make me post that I was like please don't make me do that please don't our social the girl looks after

the Briley who looks after our socials for a ghosted was like hey you hit like this many numbers on TikTok like let's do it and we're like

no please don't no way put the balloons down Briley it's so embarrassing Do you know what? That's why I don't have a mother anymore Because my mum

Has a glass of champagne Yeah She has a glass of champagne And posts it Every time she gets An extra thousand followers So I said Do you know what, Sandra?

Sandra, you're gone You're out with the turf Maybe Sandra's allowed But like when Vogue hit a million Instagram followers I asked her I was like

today's the day Vogue what are you going to do about it put the helium down Vogue put the helium down I'll tell you what I'll tell you what if it wasn't for the fear of people realising

they followed me then when I posted the 100k it's like, bye. That's exactly what it is. All it will do is alert people to the fact you've hit a number and they'll go, what a prick. And they'll unfollow. I know. I know there's levels of thirst I accept, but no, I can't.

No. And so when I heard through the grapevine about Amber resharing around birthday greetings, like photos and stuff, and resharing all the tag, and I was like, I don't know, I'm going to have to speak to Valga about this directly. Joanne rang me bawling, crying,

and she said, please tell me it's not true. Tell me somebody has taken her phone. There's some unusual activity going on. I was like, Amber's been hacked! Yeah. Oh my God, Valga, Amber's been hacked yeah oh my god she's been hacked

it's AI it's AI it's AI Winston is addicted to me again he dumped me when Alza moved in, so for two and a half years, he wouldn't even look at me. Can't get enough of me.

Me and Jo, just saw yourself, smear yourself with pedigree chum, we know exactly what you're up to. Joanne, that's your trick, yeah? I'm like, oh God, you won't leave me alone. Oh, Winnie. Do you think that dog eats pedigree chum? I just gave him brazella

or whatever that beef is called. So I was looking at this thing online this week. I'm sure you've seen it before because there's been stuff about him in the press before. This guy, Brian Johnson, he is a multi-millionaire tech and science entrepreneur. And he, he's been trying to basically make himself look younger and he's spending like two million dollars a year to make he takes 200 tablets a day he um what's he taking though i don't know what he's doing he's doing all these different exercises he's eating all these specific foods he's spending all this money on like all all these extra treatments and stuff like that. Now I will say

he doesn't look like he's been touching the Botox. Okay. Which would be my first port of call would be the face. I know you should say things like the heart and stuff but

Is it not? Like fuck my heart. I'm going for the face. Do you want a triple bypass or a half a mil on the lip? Half a mil on the lip please. No one can see the heart Let that ring rot inside me And I come from a family

Of dodgy hearts And I'd still go for the tux Of course But anyway He actually put a picture Up of himself He's been injecting himself With his 17 year old son's

blood to try and get younger I don't it just doesn't sound right to me it's just

bonkers and so then he gives his dad his blood and I'm like you can only actually take a pint of blood out every

every like three to six months depending on how quickly your body regenerates it so like he's just like they just pass and bludder it it's just a bit it's a bit strange

I'm sorry but if blood transfusions had that big an impact on how young or old you look we'd all be swinging out of those blood clinics all the time

a hundred percent do you know what I mean like he kind of like I don't know when you look like look at people like Vera Wang like what the what the hell don't know when you look like look at people like Vera Wang

like what the hell what about Vera Wang is like she just she's never aged a day in her life not once not one single day since the day she was born I don't think she is she is just like whatever she's doing that's the kind of shit I'd be doing I thought because he's put so much time and effort into it I thought he'd just look like like the most healthiest person alive but he kind of doesn't is there any proof that any of this works

or is he just kind of throwing a load of shit at the wall and see what like is there you know what's his what are his sources

I don't know what his sources are but he is just throwing a load of shit at the wall now in fairness his body looks absolutely fantastic I will give him that we should not just get the Morpheus

I mean this sounds like a lot like you're dragging blood out of one person, pumping it into someone else. Just, I don't think he's so interested in his face, though, that's what I'm saying. He's more interested

in the internal organs. Maybe we should start looking at them. If anything, it just sounds like he's going to be an emac or he's fucking dragging the lifeblood out of his son. I know, it's really bizarre.

Do you know who looks great for their age, who I've recently become obsessed with? And I never fancied him bizarre. Do you know who looks great for their age? Who I've recently become obsessed with. And I never fancied him before. He's 80. Harrison Ford. Oh yeah, you're kind of in a Harrison era, yeah.

That man looks absolutely fantastic. And he loves his wife so much. He's married to Ali McBeal. Calista Flock. Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah. So they've been married for like 20 years. But like I tried to do a deep

dive on Harrison Ford but like supposedly he kind of just tries to like he's extremely private which is very upsetting. So the only things I could find out about was that he, in 98 he was ranked the sexiest man alive. See I didn't fancy

him then. 98? Yeah. He's been married three times. A man after my own heart. His main line of work was carpentry before acting, which means he's now good with his hands. I love that, yeah. He'd be wearing the Snickers trousers.

And when he divorced his ex-wife, it was the fourth most expensive celebrity divorce. It cost him 85 million. I know. Sorry, is that Indiana Jones? Indiana Jones worth... So 85, so that's probably half what he owned. Yeah.

So he has more now. Yeah. It's just a good show. Have you ever seen... I think it's called The Morning Glory. Is that what the TV... 85 million in a day. I know. It's just a good show Have you ever seen I think it's Is it called The Morning Glory Is that what the TV 85 million In a day I know

Stuff Imagine having to give 85 million Of your money To someone Like Well think about Like

What's his name Jeff Bezos He gave his wife Something like 180 Was it billion No Was it billion I'm the only smart one

In this threesome I'm the only one who hasn't gotten married. 38 billion. Oh, so he had to give his wife 38 billion, but now he's still worth 144 billion. He's actually worth 144.4 billion and I was like,

actually, I just won't bother throwing in the.4, but the.4, what's that, 4 million? Or 4 billion? I don't know. I've no relationship with Dazzle Points so I couldn't tell you wouldn't be bad if he had that much money it wouldn't mean anything to him

because he just he doesn't even work anymore he just like takes money from Amazon royalties that's where you want to be where you're just sitting on your arse

earning royalties taking money from my pocket do you know what I mean that's where I got that's where I got the Tina Turner biography by the way I don't know if she's making any got that that's where i got the tina turner biography by the way

i don't know if she's making any royalty off that one now well no but like it's sold on printed in great britain by amazon amazon printed this book but i'd say that's like you just put your stuff into a computer and like do you know what i mean i'd say you could get the bible printed by amazon you get anything printed by Amazon. They're just saying, oh. Oh, okay. It's like just sticking your shit into a system. In other news. Yeah.

Did you see Rihanna rocking a $1 million towering? No, actually, I didn't see that. You should Google it. It's hilarious. So she's rocking, as Rihanna does, this insane. Definitely a million quid. A hundred percent. And she labeled it quiet luxury. She captioned it quiet luxury. Talking as Rihanna does, this is... Definitely a million quid. A hundred percent. And she, she labeled it quiet luxury.

She captioned it quiet luxury. What? One million dollars on her toe. Oh my God. It's a lovely ring now I have to say. On your toe. It's like getting your ass cheeks pierced with a Fabergé egg. She's so rich that that doesn't matter. She could have one of those rings on every toe.

The only reason I would ever wear something that expensive on my toe is when I inevitably get gout and my fingers can no longer

house my jewellery. Like your toe. Like your toe. That's where that's where Veruca's like that's where Veruca's. It's just it's too extra.

Like and I love a bit extra but it's too much I'm I think I'm going to get myself a toe ring off the back of this and I'm also going to

get an anklet I think that like we used to wear them as kids and they're coming back this just shows me they're coming back into fashion

and I'm going to get one for myself yeah you get your toe ring from Claire's accessories because you know you'll lose it in the grass yeah a million dollar toe ring

like I just it's like getting a Rolex snapped into your nostril like I just it's too much it's too much for me if I was you right

you know what I would do I would email her management that's what I would do I would air your grievances and I would say listen this isn't on I need you to

I need you to rethink things Rihanna I'm triggered I'm triggered I'll be one of those there's a cost of living crisis sorry

Rihanna are you aware yeah you should donate that ring to the charity that's it from us for this week

I've been Joanne McNally And she's been Vogue Williams Don't forget to subscribe Sorry? I don't know I was listening to one earlier That's what people say Bye subscribers

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