My Therapist Ghosted Me - Stage Invaders, Shaggy Walk & Showmance

Episode Date: March 11, 2022

It sounds as though things might have gotten out of hand at Joanne's gigs this week... Find out why! Plus more abuse for Vogue's walk and evidence and Jamie Laing being caught in the act. If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

I went to the comedy awards um bad news we didn't win did you know imagine I just like hadn't bothered asking I have to say though that is an award show I would like to go to next year like it was quite fun and those things are usually shit there was really good people

we had a good table and some people who I wouldn't have ever thought would have been funny were really funny that's what everyone's

saying about us well me I was trying to be inclusive but you know your man from normal people paul maskell no oh no that's that's you're right i'm wrong what's that other thing called sex education oh i haven't seen it i have to watch it it's really good he was very very funny what's his name asa butterfield and he was very funny I have to say but we didn't win best comedy podcast

whatever thanks for voting everybody thanks for voting but you know what you didn't fucking do you didn't vote enough okay do you know what right

I'm just going to make a decision now I'm not getting involved in any of that shit anymore we're never doing that to the listeners again until it's the British Podcast Awards then we're going to do it the listeners again until it's the British Podcast Awards

then we're going to do it all over again get ready guys oh diggity we'll be out the window once more please please

pathetic I've no shame you've got less shame than I do more shame or less shame more shame you'd be more embarrassed

I wouldn't be as embarrassed to beg like that I've more shame yeah yeah I never know is it a higher shame threshold or a lower shame threshold but yeah no I definitely feel shame more than you feel shame for sure I feel like I've just done way more embarrassing shit in my life that's been documented I think it's just because you were you were in the public eye Like for quite a long time So stuff gets documented you know Trust me there's a social fall coming my way

Rest assured There's always one for me There's one every couple of years I get really like battered back down How do you stay so normal Well every couple of years I get absolutely rinsed Yeah

And troweled into submission Oh no I'm so scared I feel like it's going to happen soon I get absolutely rinsed. Yeah. Trolled into submission. Oh no, I'm so scared. I feel like it's going to happen soon. No, it won't happen soon. You can't troll. You can't troll a pregnant woman or a pregnant with a newborn baby. Okay.

Tell that to Rebecca Vardy. Oh. Oh God, yeah. I will go back to the comedy awards though. So I would like to be like going there next year. It was quite fun. I wonder what. Who else did I see? You should get get into a comedy sitcom I think you'd be great in a comedy sitcom have you ever heard see me act just doesn't go down well I know okay actually I've decided

something because I did decide this to the day I think that you have to start writing a comedy sitcom and then I can be in it so you can just write it like it's me pretty much so I don't have to act do you know what Jamie Lang did though dirty bastard what a snake absolute dirty bastard yeah he so I was looking at his Instagram story and he uh had posted Rosie Ramsey who is lovely actually I quite like her I follow her but he posted her and above it he he wrote, 12 hours later, sends me a text saying, I'm so upset you didn't win. I mean, the level of, he's an absolute snake. He's an absolute snake. Jamie's snake lying.

He said, ha ha ha, that is pure backstabbing. At least he admitted it. Yeah. ha ha ha that is pure backstabbing at least he admitted it yeah I couldn't I couldn't wait

to send them this picture I was like you absolute fucking pig that's it you're out done so I'm calling them out

in the pod they're all used to it they all they're all slagging each other off on Maiden Chelsea they're used to it I had obviously the

tour rolls on I had two stage invaders this week oh my god one as I was saying my goodbyes at the end this girl kind of walked in front

of the stage and kind of ushered me to come down to her so I thought she was just going to give me a hug so she went to hug me and then used my neck like leveraged herself

onto the stage like basically climbed up me I'm surprised she didn't use my hoops like the gymnast and kind of like stop herself onto the stage. She like basically climbed up me. I'm surprised she didn't use my hoops like the gymnast and kind of like Stop!

throw herself up. Yeah. And then she was like let's go drink. She was so drunk and she's like let's get locked. And I was like

that's not it's not really an attractive offer for me to be honest but she was fucking lagging. Joanne you never know what you So she was

she was she was holding onto my neckanne you never know what you so she was she was she was holding onto my neck and everything eventually the security guards came out and kind of like

removed her but she was brought out the back but Gerard said she was just like having a ball you know she was just smiling

and waving her hands even as she was getting kicked out the back and then the other one I was in the green room after the show just chilling having a little vino and I heard this kind of kerfuffle outside the door and next thing the door bursts open and this girl falls in

again being carried by a security guard and she's like the best bit was right she's like do you want to tell him to let me go we'll have a drink drink. And I was like, I can't do that. Like, I can't say to the lads, ah yeah, she's grand. Sit down and have a drink. So anyway,

she was like, can I get a selfie? She said, tell him to let me go. So I said, okay, we got a selfie while she was being held

back by her man. And then the best part was as she was being dragged out, she goes, I'm not even actually a fan. Someone just gave me the ticket for free and bad bobs. as she was being dragged out she goes I'm not even actually a fan someone just gave me the ticket for free in Bad Bob I was like

that's like me breaking into a lad's bedroom through his window at night waking him up and me be like here don't get any ideas about yourself now that's what makes you think

about this do you know what the thing about it is though everybody when someone else like it's like a fella if you don't want someone

but someone else wants them then you want them it's like if you got one picture with somebody and no one else really thought about getting a picture with you

or did they want one but if they saw someone getting a picture with you they'd all want a picture with you she's like someone gave me the ticket for free in bad vibes

and her pants had come off from crawling up the stage oh I did a little showman's photo shoot with Greg O'Shea and bad vibes and her pants to come off from crawling up the stage oh I did a little showman's photo shoot with Greg O'Shea I saw that well

that's not what was supposed to happen he was like let's get a photo I was like grand and then Deeran Gary

he was there and then she in our we were absolutely bloobas and Deeran noticed I have like

half an ab so she was like rolling up my top to show off the ab which I don't even think it is an ab I think it was indigestion or something anyway

and then she was trying like it was just so messy the photos are so messy and he put the he put them up and I was like

Greg I look deranged like deranged but I was like you'd love a look deranged. Like deranged. But I was like, you'd love a bit of a showmance, wouldn't you? Do you know what Darren said? What? She was like, you'd be like the Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson of Ireland.

I.e. I'm the Pete Davidson and he's the Kim Kardashian. I'd say if you went on a date with him, his parents would be worried about him. Well, actually, he posted a photo. I think he posted a photo of his mother today for International Women's Day and I was going to write underneath going

who the fuck is that slag I'm actually so glad you didn't I'd love to turn into this like deranged ex who's like excuse me Greg and do you think about me when you fuck her? You know what I mean?

He's like, I met you for half an hour backstage, Joanne. All right, calm down. He's actually, he's a nice fella, isn't he? He is sound, yeah. He's actually sound. He wouldn't be my type now. He's too, he's too sculpted for me. So the next day, after we'd gone on the piss,

the next day he was up doing a triathlon and I was in bed watching Dr. Pimple Popper videos in the dark and watching a sloth getting taken down off an electrical wire in Asia

it's different lives you couldn't different lives but you know what Joanne it works with you and I how could it not work with you two because no

because Vogue I don't have to live your life like do you know what I mean I can just admire your enthusiasm and your physicality from a distance. He'd be absolutely ashamed of me. He'd be like, Joanne, you're not coming to the awards.

I'm getting a gold for kayaking for Ireland today. You're not coming because you're drunk. I do think a showman's is the way to go though because you get all the publicity and the column inches and you don't have to shave. This is true. I'm going for Noel Edmonds next. Oh God,

do you not think Noel Edmonds looks like Neil? Like they're the same person. It freaks me out. Those photos though that he posted, they were pointless as in

for showmance reasons the Daily Mail would be like Joanne McNally puts on a deranged display. I mean, I know you're drunk in the pictures but your skin looks nice.

I'm looking up at the sky at one point. I'm not even looking anywhere. Well, listen, I will say one thing. You haven't got any tan on. I have no tan on now. Why is that now? You do have abs.

You have the shapings of an ab. Something swimming around. It's actually, I've just, no, because being on tour now, I was actually, I kind of did have an ab before, but the tour now has just destroyed me. So I'm back on the wine and the quavers the worst showmance

I ever saw was do you remember Taylor Swift and Harry Styles oh god I'd love to showmance him to be fair I'd seen more sexual chemistry in a morgue the two of them

walk around some park in London disgusted by each other it was horrible I know I can't really imagine like I need a showman with Colin Best

he's the professional he does it for a living we obviously had very different weekends then go on Disneyland Theodore saw Rapunzel he was thrilled

I had to have two baths in one day because my legs and feet were throbbing so bad from like because you don't want to miss anything you want to see all the parades you want to go on all the rides I had to have two baths in one day because my legs and feet were throbbing so bad from like,

because you don't want to miss anything. You want to see all the parades. You want to go on all the rides. That's where you need. I mean, it's unethical, but that's where you need. If you had a broken leg and you were in a wheelchair, you'd be straight up the top of the queues. Oh, well, do you know what? I have to say you can actually, you can pay in Disney.

You can pay to have a tour guide that brings you to the top of the queues I wouldn't say it's cheap but they bring you to the top of the queues because some queues are an hour and a half long I wouldn't if there was a million punt sitting at the end of the queue

I wouldn't queue for an hour and a half if there was a million if there was a million pounds I would do it but like there was there was a queue right because it was the 30th anniversary they had released these new things and the must-have item was this soap dispenser just a soap dispenser that dispenses a mickey mouse face normal soap

15 euro there was a queue honestly of about a thousand people queuing for it and every time we walked by it it didn't get any shorter so people were just adding to it and adding to it and adding to it like mad for it I wouldn't queue for anything what's wrong with these people I know I know I can't bear I just can't bear that's why I've missed flights and stuff because I can't even bear to queue for gates and things like that I like I the worst is queuing for gates but yeah you kind of have to especially if you're flying right now because people just like I hate when people take my space above my seat and put their bag in that's why i kind of like that they've started charging for like online like baggage to take

on board because then you can actually put your bag somewhere because if they then put it in the hold you're like waiting hours to get your bag um so Disneyland was an absolute winner. Absolutely loved it. Since you said the thing about the waddle last week, I can't, I can't stop. I can't even hide the waddle anymore. It's so, it's so bad. You haven't even seen my full-on waddle. It's gotten worse.

It's like, I literally, like, waddled to the bathroom. Like, I'm always touching my back. I'm full on. It's gotten worse. It's like I literally like waddle to the bathroom. Like I'm always touching my back. I'm full on. It's pretty bad. Since I've known you, you've always walked like you've got webbed feet. She has Jo.

She's always kind of on the back foot kind of quacking around the place. You've got a very you've got a very distinctive walk and it's not a I remember once one of my friends

Una she's a lesbian and at the time a lot of people thought I was a lesbian and I was getting whatever so anyway

what do you mean at the time I know listen I've got a lesbian spirit I've got a lesbian spirit and she said to me it's how you walk

and I said what do you mean and she goes you don't walk like you're trying to attract men you walk like you're trying to attract men you walk like you're trying to repel them she's very good at words Una I took it as a compliment

yeah it's good to have a sassy walk you've got a you know you've got a distinctive way of getting around it's not it's not wide gaity by the way I'm not having that

I don't walk with my legs wide apart I will tell you what I was told I was so you know when you do a TV show and they're like you need to do a my legs wide apart. I will tell you what I was told. So, you know, when you do a TV show and they're like, you need to do a walking in shot. You need to do a leaving shot. I was, there was a cameraman called John and he used to be like, do you know who you walk like? And I was like, oh, here we go. Shaggy from Scooby-Doo.

And if you ever watch me walk, my arms are literally like, like I am. I'm Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. That's how I walk I remember him I remember when I used to be in my modelling days modelling with my little air fingers when I'd be modelling

in like Sword Shopping Centre and stuff my modelling agency Derek would be like stop with the hands just stop with the hands and he'd be like

put them in your pockets or something what were you doing? you got all over the stage. It's because you think you're in water because you're a duck. Your little wings. Oh, and I was telling you about one of my pet hates. I was talking to you when I was on the train.

I was absolutely disgusted with this man who got on the train. It's a very unimportant problem. But it was really early in the morning. So there's nobody ever on the train up to Leeds so I always just go up go onto my carriage and take kind of like a four-seater because weirdly they always just give you one seat in the carriage it's like it's completely empty carriage I'm taking the four-seater anyway took the four-seater across from my seat and this man came and sat in the one-seater beside me and I'm like there's nobody else in this carriage why why does he have to sit there and I actually said to him I was like I was like you this car this carriage is always empty so you could actually take one of the four seaters he

goes oh no I'm all right I might just fall asleep didn't sleep a wink on the train just watched me trying to enjoy my porridge and enjoy my enjoy my trip that he ruined so the whole carriage was empty and he sat right in front of you not only that they had booked me

in the seat opposite him so that was actually my seat beside him I'd be pulling the cord and all I'd be like I'd be getting the driver down like someone who does that

someone who invades your personal space like that is either trying to chat you up or kill you either way I don't want any part of it I didn't trust him I didn't trust, I don't want any part of it. I didn't trust him.

I didn't trust him. I didn't sleep a wink on that train and neither did he, the big fat liar. There's etiquette. There's travel etiquette. Do you remember that story about that? Someone had, I can't remember what they were called. It's a little contraption that you stick on the airplane seat in front of you

so that they can't push it back. Do you remember this no it was a flight years ago to Pennsylvania or something anyway this guy lashed it on your man in front

tried to put his seat back realised he couldn't realised this guy kind of sabotaged his seat and it all kicked off they were kicking the shit out of each other throwing drinks

the two of them got arrested when they got off stop yeah it was really funny you should read about it you can still you buy them on Amazon for 20 quid

really I've never even heard of that but do you never hear do you never see Gemma Collins go nuts over someone doing that to her no yeah she went nuts

on a flight because someone did that to her but the thing about it is like I always feel a little bit guilty but then like I paid for that seat so I can put it back

flight and I always put the seat back I'm sorry airlines prohibit use of the knee defender but the devices are not illegal. I mean, you kind of can't do that.

Knee defender passenger says he's ashamed but won't stop using airline seat gadget. I feel guilty but I'm still going to do it. He says it's a very, it's so controversial.

Oh my God, it's like bringing a hand grenade on a plane. The businessman who's disputed the fellow airline passenger over reclined seats sparked a national debate about air travel etiquette. Says he's embarrassed by the way the confrontation unfolded and regrets his behavior but won't stop using it.

I like him. That's so funny. I'm pretty ashamed and embarrassed by what happened I just should have handled it better instead of beating the shit like there's nothing worse

than getting like imagine you get to a to where you're meant to be and you get arrested like imagine going to somewhere like Serbia and getting arrested the amount of people

getting arrested on planes it felt like it was just a thing recently I think we just I think we actually already talked about it on the pod we did your man who

the man who The The man who went on Had booked a first class A business seat for him His family and his nanny And then the nanny wasn't allowed In the business seat Even though he'd paid for it

Because they overbooked And he went nuts Because they wanted to Work for the flight And they couldn't Because they didn't have the nanny They wanted to work on the flight Basically raising their kids on the flight.

Yeah. God forbid. God forbid. God forbid the nanny would get an arrow off in the sky. Fucking hell. By the time this plane lands, I want that child speaking fluent Mandarin. Go. But you know what?

I actually thought that. I was like, wow. Like they must have shit loads of money if they're able to put themselves, their kids and the nanny in business. That guy's missing a few screws. Put the kids back in economy with the nanny. What they should actually have now is a little crash on a plane. Wouldn't that be great? Oh God, they should just have a kids club everywhere.

Since I had that kids club in the Maldives, it's honestly one of the greatest things of life. And you used to love the kids club when you were little. It's not being mean to them. They like it there. I just want to say that that's not me making you unrelatable. That's you making yourself unrelatable. Excuse me, Joanne.

Everybody, every parent knows about a kids club. I never thought I'd be one of those people to say, I can't go on holidays there unless there's a kids club. But now I'm one of those people. I'm sorry we can't go there. There's no kids club. But now I'm one of those people. I'm sorry we can't go there. There's no kids club. You don't even have to pay for it. It's free.

Ever since Gigi went jet skiing in the Maldives, I swear to God, lives have just changed. I'll never go back. I'll never go back. Ever since Gigi was hang gliding over the Maldives.

Gigi is not going to be happy when this new baby arrives. My God. You might just have to take him. I'd take her. No, no, she's not up for grabs. I'm a gal's gal. No, Joanne, listen.

You've said yes to being godmother. You can't choose because of the gender. I know, I'll have that child transitioning within a week. Trust me. transitioning within a week. Trust me. You'll actually die. This is terrible because no one can see it.

Show me because this isn't... Oh no. Look at my suitcase. Why do you do that with your suitcase? Can you not just like... I don't know.

I just wouldn't be able to. I wouldn't be able. I know that we're like we're trying to keep it bright and positive, but there are some stories from Ukraine that I hear that really have made me very happy and make me think that humanity is actually quite nice at times. Did you see the people at Berlin train station? Like there were hundreds of people at Berlin train station with all these signs

offering places for the Ukrainian people to stay like it's not the nicest thing ever I know it's lovely things I have heard

a lot of that kind of stuff people opening up their homes and offering their homes to refugees it's so it is nice and the women in Poland left all their buggies out

just left all these buggies at train stations so the women in Poland left all their buggies out just left all these buggies at train stations so the women coming in could have the buggies I just thought that's and also there's a thing that you can do and I did this I basically booked a room in Kiev and you you just pay for it and then I emailed the host and I just said listen obviously I'm not going to be coming but I just wanted to get money over there some way because it gets them the money straight away and he wrote back and everything and I just thought oh that's so but I just wanted to get money over there some way because it gets them the money straight away and he wrote back and everything and I just thought

that's so nice I know it's a nice way of trying to because it's hard to know what to do besides stuff like that I know I heard there was a woman

being interviewed this morning and she was she's Ukrainian she's over there she was like I don't want to hear world leaders saying that we're admirable

we don't want to be admired we want to be alive One of you world leader is saying that we're admirable we don't want to be admired we want to be alive what have you oh i i know what you're gonna have research to go on because i did actually find it very interesting i find it hard not to ask you things about things because like i can't tell you how desperate i was to know about that greg i say shit and i couldn't even ask you about it and it's the same with this I was like no hold back hold back poor Greg he doesn't know

what he's taking on he's actually sound I said we'd be friends he kind of hangs out in London a bit Joanne like his poor mother she hears that you're

hanging out with him she'll be petrified I don't eat men in their 20s I just groom them there's a very big difference there very big difference Joanne's the boogeyman now

like that sketch in what was it oh it was so funny what was that sketch show back in the day Jo when your man had the huge phone it was always ringing Trigger Happy TV

oh yeah yeah yeah Trigger Happy was it the pedophile dressed at the school was it your man had the huge phone it was always ringing Trigger Happy TV oh yeah Trigger Happy TV was it was it the pedophile dressed as the school was it was it your man did you

was it do you remember him yeah that was such a good program and he'd like start he was wearing like a Wendy house but it was a school

and he'd like walk around and like just park himself in parks and everything it was so jeez you'd never you'd never get away with it now

you wouldn't though actually now saying that Ricky Gervais got away with that very funny joke in Afterlife Peter Fillion really fell out of favour there it's

no longer I can't imagine why comedy no longer the stuff of comedy pineapples I just I need more time I'd like to do kind of a dissertation on it but I just I need more time I'd like to do

kind of a dissertation on it but I got it I don't know how how I fell down the hell of pineapples I don't know how you fall down a lot of the holes you fall down but it's

absolutely fascinating so at the time back in the day because I think Columbus brought them to Spain from wherever he found them and they were worth about five grand. A pineapple this is everybody.

A pineapple. So they wouldn't eat it. They would just exhibit it. People would come around and look at it. Or they'd pass it around to different house parties until it just rotted away entirely. People would walk around with pineapples under their arms to look cultured. People would walk around with pineapples under their arms to look cultured. Imagine the fall going from being displayed by kings to being on a Hawaiian pizza.

I find pineapple on pizza is unacceptable. It's like riches to rags. You know the big pineapple lumps that are stuck on the side of a pig at Christmas and all. Like it's so degrading. I just can't believe. and then when pineapples began to become more affordable and they lost their appeal with the higher echelons of society they lost interest in it and replaced it with celery they used to display celery and they never ate it celery's rank rank I don't think celery's supposed to be eaten actually if you ask me

if you actually do what you're supposed to do with celery and just dunk it in the buffalo sauce then the blue cheese sauce then the celery tastes okay only when you get it with wings sorry i kind of thought i'd have more on pineapples what else can be said about a pineapple we don't use them as sometimes i'd use a pineapple as direct decoration no i don't mean just random trivia about pineapples i mean the history i know but i'm telling you we still actually use them for decoration do you never get one of those like chicken and pineapple dishes and they like Pineapples, I mean the history. I know, but I'm telling you, we still actually use them for decoration. Do you never get one of those like chicken and pineapple dishes and they like create like a bowl

from the pineapple? This is it. Before selling them for consumption, pineapple merchants rented pineapples to people who couldn't afford to purchase them. Those who rented them would take the pineapples to parties, not to give as a gift to the house,

but to carry around and show off their apparent ability to afford such an expensive fruit. They were basically like the Rolex of the fruit world. It was like having a yacht was having a pineapple. Isn't that amazing?

It's kind of true though. It's like turning up on a yacht to a party. It sounds just so cute I think Joanne I wore you remember that orange jumpsuit we both love of mine that you told me I was too old for well I wore it the other day

because I was doing a bit of filming and I put a picture up about it honestly it turns out that now I'm not allowed to wear jumpsuits anymore because it's your thing everyone's like oh did you get that from Joanne? Where did Joanne get that? You can't wear that.

Are you copying Joanne's style? I fucking wore jumpsuits before you. Well, that's not true now. Although I will say the pink one that I'm on the door with is getting quite the battering. Did you ever get those stains out? Yeah, but to get the stains out. Anyway, look, sure. We'll chat again.

No, it's not stains like that, Jo. It's just like mascara and stuff like that. I knew that thing wasn't coming home. As soon as I saw you wearing it on the third night, I thought, no, no, no. I know, it'll come home. Of course it'll come home. You should get it framed for your 40 vicar streets

I'll get it framed for your birthday I'll wash it though I'll be so narcissistic excuse me I'm getting my jockey outfit framed when I was a jockey are you?

the largest jockey in the land are you getting it stuffed or just framed? no but come here to me I have an update on that flamingo and it's mainly because

of the listeners because they're like what happened with the flamingo and everyone's making me want the flamingo now it's like that thing i was saying to you you don't want it but if anyone else wants it then you want it like what amber does you know when you you have that denim jacket she can't let it go when you took the denim jacket from the bag and she didn't want it and then she wanted it because you did anyway your one hasn't even started stuffing the flamingo yet. He's waiting in the freezer. So there's still a chance

I could have the flamingo. I think you should treat yourself. I really do. I know, but I'm just worried he won't be as pink as I want. But they could always change that. I could spray paint him pinker. I'm sorry,

but there's definitely someone in the Chelsea area who can stuff and paint flamingos. I'm sure there's like a shop specifically for it, in fact. And it would be quite a cool thing to have. Like you'd have it forever. I'll have that lobster downstairs forever. My life wouldn't be the same without Larry the lobster.

Well, you also have your children forever, but whatever. Let's focus on the lobster and the... Oh, come here to me. Did you see Kim Kardashian's latest outfit? I love Kim Kardashian. But anyway, did you see her latest outfit at the Balenciaga show? So I'm obviously like, I try, it's like you with Alice Evans. I try to keep it to a minimum about my Kim Kardashian stuff.

And I mean, there's so much to go into. But did you see what she wore to the Balenciaga show? Yeah, she looked like someone who worked in crime on a stag of all of their amazing clothes right they wrapped her

in sellotape I don't think I'd like that and actually wrapped her like it wasn't like a sellotape suit they actually wrapped her in sellotape

and then cut her out of it after like your man who's taken over Balenciaga now, he's kind of, hasn't he given himself like a one name identity? He's trying to kind of like iconicize himself. But I, fair play, I much prefer whatever they're doing now to those like malnourished kind

of Berlin hipster kids they used to advertise with. So yes, I actually fully agree. Like I love. Were they the ones that had her in that pop sock outfit? Yeah, I think that was Balenciaga as well. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, if they're dressing you, you kind of just go with what they say, but I don't want to be wrapped in sellotape. Wrapped in sellotape. And I actually Googled, there was no catheter in there. So I'd say she hasn't drank a liquid since New Year's Eve.

She was in that thing for hours. She goes around in all that latex shit as well and I always wonder when she like wheeze as soon as that

would go on me I'd be like oh I need to wee just because I'd know I couldn't wee so I'd be like oh I need to wee she's so much money

she's probably figured out how to do it out of her ears or something yeah true she was having sex with Pete Davidson later

it was like a three hour sex session but two hours 55 minutes of it were cutting her out of that sellotape suit I got a message off this girl and she was saying I heard you talking about horoscopes and she said I was a really I used to be I used to believe in them until in the line to a bar when I got chatting to some guys we were chatting about getting revenge

on our exes and one of the boys said that he was in charge of writing the horoscopes for the paper in our town, which is a large regional town in Australia. Following his ex cheating on him and knowing how devoted she was to reading her horoscope and taking every word to heart, the poor Leos have only had doom and gloom horoscopes since. It's now three years on, so their conversation, they haven't improved

that is the best revenge like the best revenge that's better than sticking if that's better than sticking a fish in a radiator come on like you can basically psychologically manipulate them for years that's actually so bad but three years time to get over it stop being so mean I think that's a healthy amount of I think that's a

healthy amount of grudgery like and subscribe and send an email because we love your emails to hello at mtgmpod.com.