My Therapist Ghosted Me - The Ghost of A St. Bernard

Episode Date: August 5, 2022

Another week and another truck load of stuff to get through... How was Joanne's time at the Love Island Villa? Why will Vogue's train journey be THE WORST? Why has a horse been banned from a pub??? If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

Welcome to My Therapist Gousted Me, with me, Joanne McNally, and her, Vogue Williams. Me! What happened? I don't know. Sorry, what's happening? I just kind of, um, did nothing down-loaded there out out of my brain I was just buffering there there's no time there's no time in the day like I'm trying to get Otto to sleep for half an hour so I can come in here and have a bit of time to do a podcast but like I can't do everything why why does anyone do this it's insane honestly I woke up

six times last night six and uh I'm finding I'm I'm it's starting to get quite hard to try and fit everything in and um and it is was it was it did you were you were woken up six times by all Otto's godparents ringing to see how he is? Joanne, today is not the day, my friend. Today is not the day. It's quarter to five. What's in this glass? It's not water.

What? It's not water. I have a vodka and a blackcurrant dash in that water glass. I really don't know what's going on with you. I'm actually kind of a bit worried now. I just need one. It's usually the other way around. Are we sw way around It's usually you being concerned about something ridiculous That I've done or some weird behaviour that I have

I understand my parents drink I get it, I just don't like wine But that now will settle me I've got a little bit more work to do And I'll do a better job Why did he wake you up six times? Well, he's trying to kill me Quite slowly

He keeps spitting out his susu his dummy so like I think I'm going to take it away from him can you not just salotape it into his face

no because then like it might disrupt well Sheetie tries to do that she put a hand over his face the other day and like covered his nose trying to shove the susu in

I'm like no no Sheetie no no no it's a it's a long week this week and tomorrow tomorrow I'm like no no Gigi no no no it's a long week this week and tomorrow tomorrow I'm going to Edinburgh for the day on the train and I'm travelling 10 hours to do so, 5 there

5 back. Now I will say the train to Edinburgh is stunning Stunning Once you start coming towards the border that like from between the, and once you hit Scotland that whole like coast there is absolutely gorgeous, just i don't mean to freak you out but you know the edinburgh fringe is on it's like the busiest maddest moment in oh my god oh see if that to contend with as well oh my god the train is gonna be oh will i just take the pillow that i've packed

out of my bag and put it slowly over your face yes yes I think suffocation is the only way oh my god Joanne no because they were like and now I know this is very unrelatable but like if you're traveling five hours I want to go first I want to be in the little first class lounge and they're like of course yeah there's no first class seats and I'm like I don't believe that now I do there's no oh yeah there's no there's genuine I'd say that's genuine yeah one thing I will say is everyone's going to get so hammered at the fringe that not all of them will make it back to their seats on the way home and I'm going to swoop in and upgrade no because you won't be I

guarantee you won't be able to because their Edinburgh also has quite a hot like a very kind of what would you say high brow but like there it's not it's not it's not a stag party I mean all the comics are drinking their pain but like there will be older sober

like people used to come to the fringe with laminated Excel documents of times of shows that they'd already planned ahead of time like some

yeah so they'll be they'll be making it back to their seats no people are standing in the queue reading books and stuff do you know what I mean? I want you,

that would be me. I want you to take your negative attitude. Go put it out the front door there. I am getting on a seat tomorrow if it kills me. Or do you know what?

I don't care. I have no shame. I will lie on the floor with my pillow. I have to get some sleep because I'm getting home at one in the morning and then I have to leave

this house at quarter to eight. So, yeah, I know. I was planning I was planning a two-hour sleep on the way home but that now might not be happening because of Joanne's bad attitude well do you know what I have I have found myself particularly moany recently I think I'm turning into like a grumpy old man oh no I think it's because we're getting middle-aged it's like I go to your face where everything's a problem do you know what I mean like everyone's annoying me

everything's a problem I feel the same way easily agitated I can't tell you I feel like I'm giving out about something the pain you've put through my body

telling me it's the Edinburgh Fringe I can't shake it I feel like I have spikes inside my skin that's how enraged I feel I'm like

oh my god I didn't think about that why are you going I'm like oh my god I didn't think of it not why are you going I'm actually going up to DJ at the Muscle Burraters which I'm very looking forward to

because I when I DJ sorry sorry I love that you've gone full professional now oh sorry I forgot I'm doing a collaboration

I'm very much looking forward to being in looks down at sheet of paper Edinburgh well can I be honest with you I was really looking forward to having five hours of chill on the train

on the way up and on the way back because obviously this is my first time alone since three and a half months so like

I will be alone and now you've just told me that I'm going to be on the train to hell could you not just sleep through your set because you just

press play on the button it's my favourite folks it's my favorite folks like she she like literally you do realize i can actually mix i can actually dj was it dave de valera i think he gave me lessons before actually he did um i'd love if you were spotted like napping and the music's just rolling on you've got an airpod nano that you're just playing music off now I do have the odd song on hand because like I I love a wee I love going to the toilet and I'm always really worried I won't have time so I do have like a couple of seven minute songs in my arsenal so if I really have to wee like it's not going to take me seven minutes to wee so um so i do have that up my up my sleeve but i have i'm gonna do you know what i'm actually gonna make a mix for you because it's i've gotten

the best songs i've gone real old school and fucking fun because i know scottish people like to go wild joe why the hell are you laughing the thing that the bow probably is a very good dj i don't know i'm sure she is folks might go at everything she does but it's just so weird when she talks about it when she's wearing one of her little floral numbers because DJing I think like Swedish house mafia and stuff I mean I was only talking to you know I was talking to this guy on zoom today right and I was like I mean I I've quite a masculine energy I'm not a very girly girl and then I looked at myself and I was like I mean I do have a banshee blow dryer and a yellow dress on but I'm not a girly girl I think sometimes we get ideas about ourselves that just aren't true like we have do you know what I mean we have a perception

of things that aren't true you are a girly girl no you're not a girly girl you're a girl I'm a oh god I don't know like I used to like I was very tomboyish. But I'm like, I like, I like a floral, I like a floral number. But I also, like I have my days where I just feel like dressing like very non-florally. I, yeah, you do, your, your wardrobe. It looks like Alan jizzed on your top. It doesn't. Look at her delighted with herself kind of jizz

joking at the top it's um that joke won't work because it's visual and this is uh what's the type

of top this is a tie-dye my brain's not working it's a tie-dye honestly yeah it's where is it from

I was gonna say your wardrobe it goes from like kind of real cool like Alexander Wang capes to into a sequin into a floral number yeah yeah yeah yeah it's quite the journey I love it in there do you know what I've actually gone I'm becoming way more like girly girly in my I saw you style I saw you in a dress yeah I wore it like heels. Heels. I started

wearing heels. I nearly passed away and died. Who am I? Who am I? You looked great.

You looked great in the heels. Thanks. I'm like, I don't always have to be dressed like

an 18-year-old boy. Do you know what I mean? No, but also there's times to look glam. You can't

look glam every day. It's just not right. It's not right. And also you need to

kind of leak a bit of glam every now and again so that when you do come out's not right and also you need to kind of leak a bit of glam every now and again so that when you do come out on some sort of red carpet you don't look like you're dressed in your mom's wardrobe like if i could like if no one's ever seen you in a pair of heels you've all been runners and suddenly you pop out in a pair of heels you look like everyone's like what are you doing you're making a show yourself i actually remember remember you looked so amazing on the late late show i was just thinking about that when you but now i've just remembered you still have that fucking top of mine i don't you have it

back to you and let's not go down this road again joanna's not my you got you got well someone else is stealing it from you you got it in my wardrobe is it in my wardrobe in dublin no like i definitely don't and you cut this joke so worrying i do not have that top 100 000 don't, and you cut this Jo, it's so worrying. I do not have that top. 100,000%. Don't cut this Jo. She's stolen a top of mine and I want it back. I'm going to post a picture of anyone's boss Joanne wearing that top

at any of her gigs. I want information on it. I'm telling you now. Oh God, come on. Thinking of finding things, I was going through Battersea Park today and there was this dog

bolted by me, this tiny chihuahua and its owner was like, when I say screeching at the top of her lungs, but like repetitively, like didn't stop for air, just screaming her dog's name. And I'm looking at the dog, the dog is terrified, but this woman is literally like screeching. And I was like, okay, I better stand there and watch the dog and see where the dog goes so she can know. But it bolting and every time she screamed the dog ran a little bit faster and eventually she got to me and I was like hey your dog just went up there I know where my dog is and I was

like well you you don't know where your dog is because you're going the wrong way and then she literally walked off and she's like Evie mummy's coming mummies and I was like oh my god that dog is never going to return to you. I couldn't believe it. It's kind of frightening. Why was she screaming at the dog? Because the dog had run away. She thought that this was going to make the dog come back. And like there was a park ranger in there as well.

And he slowed down beside me in his car. And he was like, what's up? Like, just like, what is up with your one? Like, I have never seen something so insane. Like that poor dog. That's verbal abuse it was such verbal abuse mommy's coming if you come on I'm not gonna I'm not Winston's mom I did not birth Winston well that's a very controversial sentence because there's a lot of women out there

are men who identify very strongly as mothers of animals and And so on behalf of them, I would like to publicly apologize on Vogue's behalf. And I would like to take that apology back. You've said a lot of weird shit over the years. That's probably the most controversial thing you've said. If you are running after your dog in the park shouting,

Evie, mummy's coming to a dog, like seriously. If you want to do that in your own home I'm happy with it but like don't be screaming that all over the park mummy's coming mummy's coming I was like oh I wouldn't even shout that at my kids shishi mummy's coming I've just opened the Metro website but I've just the most read

stories just come up as man suffers a hundred erections a day girlfriend says there's no rest then there's just a huge big

most read just like across the top of it I was watching this morning this morning and they have this animal like across the top of it. I was watching This Morning, This Morning, and they have this animal psychic on it. And I didn't get to,

I didn't get to watch the full thing because I was called out. But I, I was trying to find who she is when I ended up googling on it. This old, I think it's an old clip of her on This Morning with Vernon Kaye.

And there's another woman cowhousing with him sometimes. Rochelle. Rochelle. Yeah, yeah she's a babe so they had this animal psychic who genuinely is trying to tell us that she's telepathically connected to animals it's the funniest shit I could not stop laughing watching Vernon Kaye try and keep like I'd say so she's saying oh like how did you know and she's like well I remember I was horse riding once and um my horse was speaking to me saying the saddle was on too tight and I said to my friend what's your horse saying to you and she said my horse doesn't speak to me and then I realized I had a skill I like whatever she's basically saying she's just chatting to rabbits

all day and then telling you how your rabbit feels she starts trying to get um Vernon and Rochelle like into firstly the dog that she brought on ran off in the middle of the clip and I ate a um Ainsley Harriet's chicken that he was preparing was it Evie was it Evie who's Evie Evie mommy's coming she fucking ate the chicken and then Vernon Kaye is like tapping his head to get a third eye ready to be able to talk to the dog and I was looking

at Vernon's face I was like I'd say that's it do you know when you have a moment in your career and you're like what happened there's been many of them

in my career many this was one of those sobering moments where you're like really this is the choice I made but anyway

it was absolutely hilarious I was like this woman is the biggest con she's got a book out about how to be an animal psychic it's like her next book will be like telling you what your hydrangea thinks of you it was just nonsense but hilarious some people love that do you not remember my me and Spenny on our show when we did that we had uh we had he was such a nice man first of all I want to say Clive and he was like he spoke to animals like an animal clairvoyant as well and he

came into the house and obviously Svenny was like this is a load of old womp but he was such a nice man but like he came in he came in and he was like in the kitchen and he's talking to Winnie and Winnie's telling him how he feels about the new baby coming and then he literally goes oh

sorry a Saint Bernard just walked by laughing laughing laughing laughing Sorry, a Saint Bernard just walked by. Can you imagine Spencer listening to that? What idiot cancelled that show? That is gold. And then Spencer's actually like Oh really what's he saying And then he had this like little

Oh my god I can't believe we did this He had this little like pendant That like flickered I'm like how is Winnie feeling now And he's like look he looks really sad I'm like no no that's Winnie's face We realised Oh god It was the fright he got as well It was actually that's Winnie's face we realise oh god

it was the fright he got as well it was actually it was like oh no oh that's so funny I'm just hoping that St Bernard's

not going to take a shit in my kitchen because oh that is so funny some people like they're just they're just it's so funny they're like oh your spoons are talking about you do you want to know what they're saying okay sure yeah give me a grant i know well we both we both have different different opinions on ghosts i don't know about dog ghosts i definitely didn't see the same pradar myself and i would have been very upset if he had been in my house

he actually pretended to get it right oh good old Clive Clive oh god that's so good I'm nearly sure he came here twice I think we actually because he was such so good. I'm nearly sure he came here twice. I think we actually, because he was such a TV gold, I'm pretty sure we used him in both series.

And like, oh, we've another kid coming. Want to come around again? Like anything for a bit of content. Clive, oh God. And he had written a book as well. I'm pretty sure I still have it. Oh, I was out at the weekend, right? Now I have to get, I've got to do a little pluggy Mcplug.

Okay. Go for it so when i was 14 i drank half a bottle of tequila because we all got a bottle of tequila between two of us and we got absolutely locked and i ended oh my god i ended up scoring this guy called but i actually don't know if we uh if we should say that because he still lives in hope you probably shouldn't then i think we actually need to as well as Jo we actually need a

defamation professional in the room while we record as well because like she's throwing people under the bus

left right and centre folks giving out phone numbers and addresses and everything of people who shafted her in the past listen this is my tool

to get you back motherfuckers no so we all dry and cough I remember waking up I saw Ashley's foot was like this is my tool to get you back motherfuckers and no so we all dry and catwalk together i remember waking up i saw ashley's foot was like i mean how did it look like the cat bell with the kind of with this with the oil or the sense that he's like splashing

water no it wasn't incense but it was the same vibe but it was like to tell you things oh actually he was telling me how many spirits were attached to me that was another thing you could do and i had something like nine attached to me and that was why i felt so heavy and like obviously i had nine people fucking clinging on to me for dear life they're already dead I kind of believe half that shit though not the dog

not the dog so you have nine people hanging off you at the moment is that it not after Clive was here because he got rid of every single one of them he rang his little cat bell

and got rid of the nine ghosts did he his little incency thing ding ding go forth that is so funny go forth sure i was doing oh my god i've done so much stuff i love stuff like that though i once found myself in a castle another tv show sitting with this battered old radio trying to contact my dad and I'm actually sure they will make anything sound like it

they're like that said Freddie that said Freddie and I'm like it did say Freddie it did say and then I was like after I was like that didn't say Freddie you've tuned into some pirate radio station like what

no that's heaven that's heaven playing Freed from Desire manifestation like what no that's heaven that's heaven playing freed from desire no no no no freddie freddie freddie freddie wants to speak to you um you're like my dad was a huge entrance fan what a coincidence the shit you do for tally oh my god oh god i love ghosts wait till we're getting sunshine blasted up our asses and i beat them i know we've got that's what the long listen that's what the long skirts for by the way and i'm doing that thing so just sorry give this a bit of context

the show that we're doing in obofa Is kind of Sex and wellness And apparently this thing At the moment Is where people kind of Basically hold their ass Up to the light To let sunlight go in Oh yeah

They're assed I know I mean I have not said I do that Just Let's be clear I know I was talking about something else

I am not I am not putting my arse up I don't like assholes I've seen them I don't like mine we're not fans no we're not fans Vogue would rather stitch hers up completely and we've looked into it Vogue oh yeah I have not agreed to do that anyway why are we talking about Ibiza oh because we are going to Ibiza Joanne and I, because we are going to Ibiza. Joanne and I, well, no. We are going to Ibiza next week to film

and I can't wait. It's going to be amazing. Oh, FYI. What? Speaking of Ibiza, I was very busy today getting Botox in my armpits.

Botox in your armpits? Joanne. A special shout out to the Avoca Clinic. You were taking this too far. Your knees, now your pits.

Well, so, I sweat. No, do you know what? I don't sweat. You're taking this too far Your knees Now your pits Well So I sweat No do you know what I don't sweat More than the average person I don't think I just do a lot of sweat Inducing work

So like when I come off stage You'd want to see my armpits It's like I've done a spinning class Yeah And that jumpsuit Is on its last legs The new one that I have Like the armpits

Are going to have to be replaced What you upgraded the jumpsuit Yeah I have a new jumpsuit With the Evoca Clinic Anyway were on to me And they were like Why don't you come in And get this done And I have like the armpits are gonna have to be replaced what you upgraded the jumpsuit yeah I have a new jumpsuit with the evoker clinic anyway around to me and they're like why don't you come in and get this done I was like oh my god now I actually at the time thought it was kind of dodgy because I was like are you not supposed to sweat like out your toxins and the doctor Sean he was very funny he was like well you can sweat out other parts of your body Dwayne you're not a dog I was like oh yeah Dwayne but what if you start like sweating like your nose just gets way sweatier or something and it's like you literally are

pouring sweats out your nose I was like is the sweat going to come out somewhere else like is my ass going to be like a slip and slide and he was like no no no no you're fine but while I was in there he was so sad but while I was in there he's like do you want anything else and I was like oh what else have you got I was like what else whatever you have

what is that toilet tuck stick that in the face inject it in I was trying to get stuff whatever whatever you have what is that toilet duct stick that in the face inject it in I was trying to get him to inject his soup into my face anything that was around I was like put it all in

anyway I don't sweat my armpits anymore I'm full like I am 100% I've gone full Prince Andrew on

the whole thing I'm absolutely thrilled I can't keep up with her I haven't even got my hands done yet they're still look at them

the hands the hands of an old woman look at them I didn't finish this tequila story. So anyway, Spenny has a company called Clean Co. It is like non-alcoholic spirits.

And I had a clean tea Paloma cocktail and it was the most delicious cocktail I've ever had. Now I since have had a like non-clean tea one with actual tequila, but he makes a tequila alternative and he makes gin alternatives,

everything like this. And then he was like, why don't you talk about it everything like this and then he was like why don't you talk about in the pod and i was like i'll talk about in the pod if you give me a code so he's given me a 20 off code ghosted 20 for 20 off all of their products on clean.co for 20 off fair brilliant This brings us nicely on to a headline I read about myself the other day and I thought, I I was getting my hair and makeup done when you sent me that and I she just goes, that's that's some headline and I opened it

and she screenshot it and the first one was just a normal headline about her so I was like, that seems fine and then the next one, go on, read it out there. This is all the back of paper. It's taking stupid shit we say in the podcast. I would like to say my mom is very proud of you. Vogue Williams says she hates pubic hair,

especially when going down on someone else. You know what though? They weren't wrong. That is not a misleading headline. But like underneath, it's like, you know what though they weren't wrong they were that is not a misleading headline but like underneath it's like you know vogue is breastfeeding auto and then it's just into this like absolute smush going down to someone else of course like as opposed to what going down yourself like what so i was on the tube the other day and first of all I was thinking how lucky anyone is lies in fairness I had begun my journey in an Uber but the traffic

was so horrific I was like oh sweet Jesus it's this bad I've got to get the tube now in fairness I love the tube I don't live close enough to a tube I'm 25 minutes from any tube but it is like if you live close to a tube it's not like the dart where you're waiting 25 minutes for the dart it's a proper service yeah and i hopped on the tube well i'm sorry are you gonna

wait 20 minutes for a dors it's unacceptable i know dublin area rapid transport sorted out we've got people to see and places to go i know um so i saw this man and he flashed his phone at me and he's like this good looking man I'd say in his early 40s straight right looked straight what was on his phone he was listening to our podcast shut up I do believe we have three or four male listeners but I I well I refuse to believe that they're straight so that man was clearly had his girlfriend's phone or was looking for something else or he was gay if you are that man please write in and just let us know your sexual orientation we would like to know and we'd also like to know your age and also and also your number just in case i need a backup you know always always looking for a backup on the boil on the boil

i know it's like seeing a unicorn on a train. You're just like, what the fuck is that? It's like when I see a straight man coming to the shows. You're like, are you okay? Do you know where you are? Are you lost? You've got a decent amount of straight men going to the show, though. I've seen them.

Not a lot of them are, you know, they're usually doing someone a favor. They're going with their girlfriend. What else have you been doing this week besides getting your arm fixed Botox? Was it sore? No, not really. Like it's the same as normal Botox. It's taken 20 years

off my armpits. Wait till you see them. Every time on the phone and I beat them I have the arms raised up and raised above my head. Hang on, hang on. Get my good side arms in the air.

I'm like, Joanne McNally, she's the armpits of a 10 year old. Unbelievable. How many injections a pit? It's actually so interesting. It's a large surface area.

Yeah, there was a couple of, there was a fair few injections. I'm here representing baby pits. Where does this end, Jo? Where does this end? It ends at the feet. All the way down. Now, in fairness,

there is a thing about knees and I was looking at my knees the other day in the mirror and I thought maybe you put it into my mind, but in fairness there is a thing about knees and I was looking at my knees the other day in the mirror and I thought maybe you put it into my mind but I thought they're not looking their best self

they need a little zhoosh a little juice exactly Shiji was a bomber this week that was another thing that happened to me this week yeah

well she actually the worst part about her being sick was I thought to myself well when I catch it because i usually do i'm really looking forward to just having a couple of days in bed to chill god i know did you catch it no i didn't damn it i was wearing a mask though because i caught it the last time because i literally caught theodore's puke because he was uh he was puking on my bed. So I was trying to catch it. But Alzo, we leave, like Alzo was very good

because he'll do some babysitting for us from time to time. And Spenny and I were going down to stay in a hotel. And I was like, we're going to leave at seven o'clock. So Alzo is your brother. Alzo's my brother. So I said, we'll leave Alzo, he'll be grand. He'll sleep in our bed, blah, blah, whatever. And he woke up at 20 past six in the morning.

And he said, geez, that's like kind of gone without a hitch and he walked into Gigi's room and she was literally like screaming and it was like vomit everywhere all over her cot all over the floor what do you think he did nothing he walked downstairs and got Amber I said you left her in her vomit while you walked downstairs to get Amber he was like there's certain things I cannot do he was like I cannot do that I I I but I wouldn't it wouldn't occur to me it wouldn't be the um fear of vomit because obviously I've you know a lot of experience of that from back in the day. Please seek help if you're suffering. But anyway, so it wouldn't be that.

But I just wouldn't think to move her. This is my problem. I honestly, I just wouldn't think to move her. I'd be like, hold on there, Gigi, I'll be back. I'm going to go get someone. So you'd have to go and get someone as well? Well, yeah, she's not my kid. Oh, God, you couldn't even.

Joanne, this is another funny thing about Joanne. Joanne is going to stay with us in Ibiza. And she knows there's three kids there i'm actually so impressed with you yeah that wasn't my idea that that was proud of peter's idea you see that's not i love proud of peter like i did say and like you know i love those kids but i did say to proud of peter i was like it's full on you know it's like it's full on they're like you know beautiful stunning now and chaos one thing I will tell you is it's like they when they're on holidays it's kind of like they've had half a Xanax all day because they're so tired from swimming and the phone and stuff yeah it's quite nice so they're really tired they're a bit subdued

and it's yeah I'll set my arm before i am go i put them all in the pool go back to bed for a while one thing i will tell you is honestly please bring earbuds i'm not joking with you just bring you need earplugs i'm just saying honestly if you want to sleep past half six earplugs i know why because of the what for the screaming the vomiting what no there's no screaming there's joyous sounds in the morning that sound like screaming

if this is if you not during the night just screeches in the morning when they wake up because I told you they're so tired at night

they sleep through but when they wake up it's loud I genuinely thought you were talking about you having sex with Spencer there did you think that show yeah I thought you did too and I genuinely thought you were talking about you having sex with Spencer there. Did you think that show? Yeah.

I thought you did too. And I was like, what a host. Guys, you're welcome to stay, but let me tell you, the morning time is pretty spicy. Okay. So just prepare yourselves because we won't be toning it down for anyone. We feel like we're at home and we want to get it on we're all friends here okay ignore the banging screaming i'm gonna situate everyone nicely in the villa because obviously i get there first so i'm gonna make sure that like you and i get the best rooms because we're there the longest but

like i think yeah you need to be as far away from the children as possible i do love those i know but you don't want to be woken up in half-sace. What are the little things? The children's. I do love the children's. I'll get to finally hold my godchild. Which will be nice. He's very tall now.

His hair is so... When you see his hair, you're going to love him just for his hair. I did see it kind of... Like, it's getting very long now. I'm going to take him out one day and get a little hair braid for him for his holiday. Look at that hair.

Oh, my God. It's about three feet off his hair. It's actually taller than him. I don't know. You look like you've stuck him in a socket. Are you sure Gigi didn't stick him in a socket? I was on Love Island, which, well, after Sun, but... We know you were.

Inside, in the underbelly of the villa. Will I get Amber for this bit? Because she loves Love Island. Now, in fairness, it's very dangerous, that show, because I had to sit through a few episodes with Amber and Alzo who are addicted and I found myself getting sucked in so badly. Like you really have to try and not watch it. Spencer, I've caught him watching episodes. He's watched like at least six episodes. It's highly addictive, but I'm telling you now, but I didn't watch, so I didn't watch every

episode because you just couldn't. Like, do you know what I mean? Well, I mean, plenty of people do. But I did, I was dipping in and out for this because, well, because I enjoy it

and I knew I was doing the show, I knew I was doing the After Sun show. But so, I got roped in and going into the villa, because I'd been watching it for so long at the telly, it was like,

it was the buzz of going, I can't explain it. It was like going into the White House. I swear to God, I was beside myself. And there, it it's so much it's kind of it's stunning and i was in there dressing really like where the girls get ready which is an absolute tip vogue you would die no no no i know which made me like them even more i felt very connected to the islanders very connected to the islanders and um it's so funny they call them the islanders it's

like they're in like a look um where is it majorca majorca yeah now i cannot reveal the exact location obviously i mean can we give a can we give a shout out to your hair and makeup person by the way you looked absolutely magnificent oh my god i know live live davey she was absolutely fantastic you looked great And she's sound. Laura Whitmore, I honestly think she's one of them, she's even more

attractive up close. Like, she looks like a painting. Like, I have never, with that many good, I've never been around that many attractive people.

So each one of those islanders, they're all rides. But because there's so many of them together on the telly, it kind of dilutes how ridey each one of them is.

Every single one of them is a knockout. And then Laura Whitmore is there looking like a painting. I've never felt less attractive. Her skin is like see-through. See-through. I look like a punched lung. I was like, oh my God. It did nothing for anyone's morale.

I mean, it's not somewhere I'd like to find myself, particularly with a level five hangover. Like, no way would I want to be around. There's people that I want to hang out with. Yeah. Not good for the self-confidence. It's stunning. And I got a Love Island water bottle with my name on it,

which was basically like getting an Olympic torch. I was so excited. Now, one of the things I did enjoy that you said was you likened two people's chemistry to the chemistry of two wheelie bins I did I did do that I stand by it

it was Paige and Adam were they sitting there listening to that yeah yeah so it was a bit uncomfortable there after that but I

basically they'd been evicted but like they had their date was so awkward it was so awkward they just said nothing to each other It was just so awkward So I just said

I said to be fair You have the chemistry Of two wheelie bins Oh so you said it's their face You weren't bitching about them Well I wasn't looking at them When I said it

But they were in the room So I feel like you know There's transparency there Do you know what I mean We like your honesty You know what I mean You gotta be honest Anyways great cracks

I'm hoping they'll have me back next year. Loved it. Oh my God, that's good. I loved it. Sorry, sorry. I can't say it properly. I actually can't say it properly. I should cancel the event. So we've been nominated for the Irish Podcast Awards,

which we're absolutely delighted about. Now, we've been nominated for the Entertainment Pod, Joanne, which viewers cannot vote for, but... Listeners. You can vote for the Listener's Choice.

So please vote for us. Are they having some kind of... Vote for us for the Listener's Choice. You can vote for us in the Irish podcast words for the Listener's Choice podcast. Please vote for us because I want to go to this party. I'm not pregnant anymore. I'm like, I'm in...

Is there a party, Jo? Oh, yeah, there'll be a party a party oh there'll be a party tell us how do you tell vogue how do people vote the irish podcast awards.ie forward slash vote type in now i know this is a lot of work but please stick with me you type in the name of the podcast you vote and then you have to confirm it on your email and then we will be eternally grateful and i'll get a night out of it they better give us if we win they better give us two awards i'm not fucking splitting out too much you know and will we get into some topics because actually god there was please well back to the dating apps by the way i found one for you it is called Furry Mate

and it's designed for people with an interest in animals with human characteristics and I thought my friend Joanne loves horses loves horses so that could be the one for you imagine do you know they were talking about that animal medium

imagine like if you're like a fan of bestiality and the animal medium just like walking past Winnie and it's like Vogue Winnie has asked you to stop doing that to him he doesn't like it it's not consensual leave him alone hold on are they that's not actually encouraging bestiality is that not just like here you can have a rabbit for a day? It's kind of weird. To me that like sounds like it is encouraging bestiality. But there's surely like on the deep dark web, there has to be mad stuff like that.

I mean, if you can buy a bloody heart on the web, you can probably like find people that are into horses like you are. There was, I'll never live a time. There was, so apparently, anyway, there's a place called Cockington. Of course there is because it's England.

And Cockfosters. Cockfosters, they love all that shit. But anyway, they have a horse. They have a little, Patrick the Pony, he's called, right?

And they, I don't know why or how he became the mayor of Cochington but he is the mayor of Cochington

which sounds like something you'd see on a t-shirt at the stag party but anyway that's his role and he is actually

I didn't realise so basically the story was that he was kicked out of this pub he's always in this pub drinking Guinness and they kicked him out because the council

got involved and said like sorry what the horse always in this pub drinking Guinness and they kicked him out because the council got involved and said like sorry what the horse was in the pub drinking Guinness in the Guinness he's always in the beer garden

drinking Guinness Patrick the pony and he's a mayor he's the mayor the mayor of Corkington but um she's not even joking I've just googled it

good looking horse he's not joking oh my god he's obviously just taking maybe his business meetings in the bar in the garden whatever he's up to

I don't know anyway he's actually getting kicked out because the council got involved and apparently it's not a legal grazing area blah blah so that's how i came across patrick the pony but then i was like oh my god like i was trying to tell it was kind of funny and then it turns out the reason he's in the pub all the time is because his owners have to kind of make him okay around humans because he's a therapy he's a therapy pony oh

I know doesn't mean he needs to be boozing all day in the pool Patrick is the you're like I'm working Patrick is the official mascot of the War Horse Memorial

and visits hospitals care homes and rehabilitation centres alongside raising money for local causes to ADD units and Ukraine oh my god is there anything Patrick the pony can't do I know he's like a alongside raising money for local causes, two ADD units, and Ukraine.

Oh my God. Is there anything Patrick the Pony can't do? I know. He's like the fucking animal version of Live Aid. Then I felt really bad. I was like, this pony needs to be knighted, not kicked out of the beer garden. Anyway, he's still the mayor.

They said they haven't fired him. He's not getting cancelled. he's still running Cochington so listen best of luck to Patrick the Pony we're on your side we hope justice is served yeah and I can't wait to visit Cochington

I would say it would be so funny if Patrick the Pony got real famous off the back of this and then they had him on like dancing on ice and stuff do you know the way

some people like end up they've only started releasing names for Strictly Patrick will be next that's it from us for this week we've been My Therapist Ghosted Me

I've been Dramac Nally I will continue to be she's been Vogue Williams and will also continue to be I will also be her you will be me

we are all the same. We are one. I know. Oh, I'm still on tour in the UK. Well, I will be back in the autumn and again, there's a particular panic

around Yeovil now. It's getting... How's Birmingham going? How's Birmingham going? I keep getting requests to do like, you know, like the Yeovil Gazette. Like my agent's like, this would be keep getting requests to do like, you know, like the oval gazette. Like my agent's like, this would be worth doing.

I'm like, would it, yeah? Okay.