My Therapist Ghosted Me - The Kardashian Wedding, Mr Blobby & The GAA Catfish!

Episode Date: May 27, 2022

Well what a bunch of characters to discuss this week.... Find out Joanne's thoughts on Mr Blobby, a recap on the Kardashian wedding (we promise no Kardashian chat next week) and who on Earth the GAA Catfish is?! If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

Welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Vogue Williams, and her, Joanne McNally. They'll never know. They'll never know. There was one point in last week's pod that I didn't know. You didn't know? I didn't know which one of us it was. I know. It must be very confusing, Someone just sitting here having a conversation

with himself. My head is so far up my ass that you'd assume it would make my ass bigger, but it hasn't, which is a sad downside. I have to say I'm very happy with my bum at the moment. My God. I nearly went too far and sent, I saw a picture of myself because John and I have been doing like serious ass exercises. Vogue, I cannot be happy with a woman who's happy with her body. I'm sorry, you weirdo. John, my arse, I saw a picture of it. You know when you see yourself behind and you're like, you actually shudder.

Now, I was in a great pair of leggings. I nearly sent John a picture of my ass. And then I was like, that's too far. Yeah, no, we can't send John. You can't send John body shots. No, you can't send ass pictures. It's unacceptable. But anyway, my ass.

So you're happy with your body? I didn't say I was happy with my body. That's a million listeners gone. Thanks, folks. You have to hate yourself. It's part of being a woman. Listen, I hate my legs. I hate my legs.

Someone mailed me today and they were like, you and Amber have the same legs. I thought, I won't tell her that. You've got great legs. You just stop. Anyway, I'm delighted for you that you're happy with your body. I mean, I won't tell her that. You've got great legs. You just stop. Anyway, I'm delighted for you that you're happy with your body.

I mean, I'll never see you again, but I'm absolutely thrilled. Stop saying body. I said ass. That's a cute, but that's a very important part. No one's happy with their ass. I've been trying really hard with the RSVP

and doing like nonstop, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Boom. Isn't it weird the way dimples in your face are cute, but dimples in your ass are not cute? So someone's like, oh, I love your dimples.

You're like, they're definitely not the ones in my ass. You're definitely talking about the ones on my face i like a face dimple yeah like an ass dimple but you can't iron them out you should be able to iron your own ass supposedly you can inject them with this stuff that gets rid of the fat that makes it wrinkly like that but some women and these are women obviously will never hang around around with, have no cellulite. None. Ghosted listeners, I just want to reassure you that I despise myself. So if what Focus said has triggered you massively, rest assured, I fucking hate myself. So there you go.

I'm sorry for what I said about my arse, okay? I think we should cut it out, to be honest. Joe, cut that out. Cut that out. Unrelatable. I think that's going to have to go. I actually went into Susan and I was thinking,

will I get the ass thing? Don't eat it. Don't eat it, Susan. She did hit me with that Morpheus stick again. Yeah, I say quite spicy, actually. Yeah, yeah. This podcast cannot turn into you plugging Susan to get free Morpheus

for the rest of your life. I'm not, but I send... I actually I bought this is like the Susan Vaughan podcast now because you want free Morpheus

I sent I bought I bought Svenny's mom a Morpheus right and I sent her in and Susan was like was she okay after because like

she put it on like full whack and I was like Jane is actually too polite to ever complain and she was like she didn't even flinch

I was like yeah she was probably in like torturous pain but she's too polite yeah ever complain and she was like she didn't even flinch I was like yeah she was probably in like torturous pain but she's too polite yeah but she's a different generation that generation of women didn't complain they didn't complain about anything

they were having like I'm not I'm not suggesting that Jane is super old but like you know our parents generation I'm not trying to say they had like

no pain relief and stuff like they were having their wisdom teeth ripped out by a pliers but you know they suffered more than we do. I don't suffer at all anymore. Any little bit of pain

and I will medicate it away. I can't deal with it. Any bad thought, anything, I will medicate it away. Oh my God, I'm back on the CBD oil. I'll tell you what,

I can't go to bed without it. Three squirts under the tongue. Delighted with myself. Yeah. You know, you were telling me about your dream last week. My fantasy, yeah. Your fantasy. Well, I tried to call you on Sunday. I was ready to make... myself yeah you know that you were telling me about your your dream my fantasy your fantasy

well I tried to call you on Sunday I was ready you tried to call me to choke me gently in my sleep yes

I was ready to choke I had the gloves on go on I thought it's a lovely sunny day it was a gorgeous day it was a gorgeous day too hot actually

and I thought I'll go for a drink with you on I'm going to take time away from this insanity of my home. No answer. Then the bitch is posted on social media.

Out with Dr. Ewan. Oh, yeah! Yeah. So, do you know what I, oh my God, it was so funny. So, obviously, I had that run of Palladium shows and then I went Banana Town

on the last night. Obviously, like, had slept, but not much. Do you know the way you're still kind of like boozy the next day yeah because the

Palladium very kindly gave me a magnum of champagne and a bumper pack of Quavers and um the high the low

they so anyway I drank the magnum obviously and um on your own well no it was good I just

no yeah pretty much yeah I gave my agent I gave my agent one small glass I was like give it back you've done nothing to earn this bitch back in the Prosecco pretty much, yeah. I gave my agent one small glass. I was like, give it back! You've done nothing to earn this, bitch!

Back in the Prosecco. Yeah. You can have a Ribena from the fridge. Anyway, so, joined that, woke up the next morning and I had a champagne breakfast again.

Do you know, really, really, really celebrating myself. That's what set me off. I saw you on the champagne breakfast. And I was like, you'll be delighted. Then went on,

and I was like, I went on and I was like, I went on and I was like, oh, this would be a great time now to ask me anything Q&A. Really, Joanne? Really? I love that. I love that you leave them up.

I did five. Mascara all over my face. Like, swilling around a glass of champagne. It was like half ten in the morning. I looked like I'd just come back from a week

in Glastonbury. And I was like, hey guys, let's connect. Ask me anything. Anyway, ended up saying that I was seeing someone.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was thrilled. Anyway, whatever. I thought you'd fallen asleep when they stopped. I was like, oh, she must have just got too pissed. Well, I was rewarding myself with, I was rewarding myself with asleep when they stopped. I was like, oh, she must have just got too pissed.

Well, I was rewarding myself with, I was rewarding myself with Dr. Ewan because I've been working very hard at the moment and nothing tells the story of my workload more than my face. Yeah, yeah.

And obviously, there's a lot of boozing going on because I'm working and doing shows and blah, blah, blah. So I was treating myself with Dr. Ewan and that man is very good to me.

I have to, no more than you when you very good to me. I have to plug, no more than you and your Susan addiction. I'm literally about to, I'm actually getting Ewan on my phone here so I can mail him straight after.

Look at your skin, you dirty bitch. Dr. Ewan McKinnon, he's from Edinburgh and he works in Chelsea. He sent me mails. I'm in.

He sent you mails. Yeah, and I'm trying to connect you two up. I thought you were trying to keep him for yourself. No, no, no, no.

I'm trying to connect. I'm trying to connect. I'm trying to gift you two up. I thought you were trying to keep him for yourself. No, no, no, no. I'm trying to connect. I'm trying to connect. I'm trying to gift you a youthful face because Otto's taken its toll, as we know. What? I actually, I got my hair. I got my hair and makeup done. We can fix you.

We can fix you, though. I don't think so. I got my hair and makeup done the other day and I was like, what the fuck has happened to my face? Nothing could help me. Not even the Paris. What?

I know. Paris filter couldn't help. Yeah, I'm not, anyway, whatever. So I went in to Ewan and he did like the revive, you know, he does all the like electrocutes basically, electrocutes youth into your face. But anyway, I took him to dinner then because I was like, listen

Ewan, are you my life? Were you locked going in no don't tell him that because you're not allowed to have anything done if you've been drinking

I think it's the only way to go if it hurts takes the pain away you're not supposed to have anything done if you've been on the sauce oh sorry just to say

so and like the juice from that revive anyway whatever I have to go back in and get another one I also have my my tumour removed

oh your benign one in your knee don't ruin the drama by telling everyone it's benign Vogue okay juice from that revive. Anyway, whatever. I have to go back in and get another one. I also have my tumour removed. Oh, your benign one in your knee. Don't ruin the drama by telling everyone it's benign, Vogue, okay? A tumour's a tumour. Are you okay? So, hot girl summer

is approaching. Now, I'm not going to be as arrogant to think I can have a hot girl summer, but I'm willing to have a tepid girl summer. I want a tepid girl summer, so I'm getting all my bits

and bobs fixed, right? So that little growth that was on my kneecap, I want it gone, because I want a tepid girl summer. I want a tepid girl summer. So I'm getting all my bits and bobs fixed, right? So that little growth that was on my kneecap, I want it gone because I want a tepid girl summer. I want the legs out. Like I, you,

like I'm not going to lie. This, I feel like this is the summer I've been working my whole life towards. What's happening? You're just working. All my,

all the laser I've gotten is finally built up. I'm like a penguin now from the eyebrows down. That needs to be celebrated I'm getting all the lumps and bumps removed from my body

and my legs so I got the little tumour removed from my knee right so it's full of scars now which is cool good to ask to see it I look like a pirate

my knee looks like a pirate I'm delighted well your man the doctor was like listen you know bit of a tumour we should send it away

and have it analysed make sure there's nothing in it like teeth or fucking whatever and I was like oh yeah defo send it away and he goes no it's going to cost's nothing in it, like teeth or fucking whatever. And I was like, oh yeah,

Defo sent it away and he goes, now it's going to cost you. And I was like, do you know what? It's probably grand. Leave it. I said, can you look at it there?

He said, that looks grand. Anything above 50 euro, no way. Yeah, I said, that looks grand. You can't put a price on your health.

Yes, you can. He wanted to charge me a lot of money. So I was like, no, no, no. How much? I can't remember what he said. But I had a good look at it and it looked grand I say you're better off

getting that shit done at home I go what he was really sick and I was like okay I have to get him to the doctor we usually go to like the NHS

one up the road which is fantastic and free and we took him to this private doctor and hey she was absolutely amazing and she was stunning

and she was wearing a leopard print dress she was amazing love it 400 quid later 400 quid I'm sorry he's not worth that

he's I know no I was absolutely sickened I felt too sorry for him I had to I had to do it but 400 quid

no no no 400 quid you need to drop the old school Irish money just throw a bottle of flat 7 up at him and have him get on with it boiled 7 up

no one understands that boiled 7 up works it's only for a tummy though not a head thing flat 7 up it at them and I don't get on with it. Boiled 7-Up. No one understands that. Boiled 7-Up works. It's only for a tummy though not a head thing. Flat 7-Up it's kind of an old Irish thing. It's like you know.

It works Jo. It works. Yeah it's kind of like Guinness or whatever it's just one of those things. It's how we how we medicate ourselves. As kids

they just take the they just like leave the take the fizz out of the 7-Up and drink it. I think it was just a way to get sugar into you

when you were sick really to be honest. Yeah we've got diurelite now supposedly there's a shortage got diurelite now. Supposedly there's a shortage of diurelite. That's because the world is now full of influencers who are completely dehydrated.

That's why there's a lack of diurelite. Beep, beep. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. I was actually only saying... Thirsty, thirsty bastards. No, I was only saying my disdain for people

who retweet compliments about themselves like oh my god you look so gorge don't retweet that take the compliment and bring it away with you

yeah well I was saying to Vogue I was like look I have done that at times I wasn't going to throw you under the bus I don't do it on the

regular the only time I would do it is when I'm trying to sell a show and I actually don't do it at the moment because I'm very lucky the shows

are selling sales grant but like if I was really struggling to sell I would be retweeting every compliment of'm very lucky that the shows are selling so it's grand. But like if I was really struggling to sell, I would be retweeting every compliment of the show. Just to kind of let people know it's not shit.

It's different about the show. I'm talking about people being like, oh my God, you look so gorgeous. It's like, don't retweet that. Like, just take the compliment. It's like when people do a Q&A. They're like, ask me anything. And then someone's like,

not a question. I just think you're an absolutely very genius. And they're like, oh my God, thank you. Kiss, kiss, reshare. Hey, you twat. They are the worst. I think you're amazing absolute literary genius. And they're like, oh my God, thank you. Kiss, kiss, we share. Oh, you twat. They are the worst.

I think you're amazing. Oh my God, thanks, love you too. Jo, we should actually flag, I'm definitely premenstrual. And I don't know if Vogue could be. I am like full of rage today. So just if the podcast comes across as catty, it's hormones.

I hold myself completely unaccountable for whatever comes out of my mouth. I'm going to have to bring my nose on embarrassing bodies. Jo, have you seen it? I still... But I don't know why you're just defrosting your nose. What about the rest of your face?

It still looks like I've got syphilis. I can't... No one knows what it is. It's a mystery. It's a mystery. It's a mystery. Two things, right? You can't get a cab in London at all. You can't.

They all cancel on you. But I did have a good experience with a black cab driver, right? Jane took T home from nursery and left his bag in the black cab, but she hadn't ordered it, so she could, there was no way of getting the bag back. Three days later, the bag is sitting outside our front door.'t ordered it so she could there was no way of getting the bag back three days later

the bag is sitting outside her front door is that not so nice that is so do you know what I bet it's that lad who shot in front of your door and he's trying to make amends

he's been fired from the company and he's now driving a black cab and he's like how will I make amends stop Gigi was standing in that area the other day

and I was like how long does it take shit to disappear again I don't know Sicko Also this week I was invited into a restaurant called

Myrtle an Irish restaurant That's right beside my house just so you know Yeah So yeah it's about a 10 minute walk Did you have a nice time? Had a really nice time

Oh really and how did your friend enjoy it? My friend Susan had an absolute ball Okay I'm glad Thanks a million Yeah she had a really nice time. Oh really? And how did your friend enjoy it? My friend Susan had an absolute ball. Okay, I'm glad. Thanks a million. Yeah, she had a really good time.

You know? Yeah, I hope you had a shit time. Yeah, we had a really good time. It's just so great. You know, we don't have kids.

We can just leave the house whenever we wish. We're just free. Free. Have a nice time. Have a nice time. Anyway, I was

invited in. I held my hands up. It's like European Irish cuisine. Excuse you me. I'm my hands up. It's like European, but Irish cuisine. Excuse you, me. I'm a five-star woman. With a three-star palette. When you were posting that food,

which actually looked artistic, I was like, is she going to know what to do with that? Where is her wet chicken? I'm like, we can just put it in bread, yeah? Just stick it all in bread. If you don't mind, just put it in bread. But anyway it all in bread if you don't mind just put it in bread but anyway she invited me in and she was like

it's an Irish restaurant and I was like I honestly Irish cuisine to me was like a chicken fillet roll salpidine flat 7 up stew

coddle do you know coddle Jo do you know what coddle is coddle is like this really traditional Dublin dish where it was like back in the day when no one had any money

and you just put in anything from around the house. The sasos just look like boiled dicks. But they are boiled sausages. I know, but the way they look is so wrong.

Boiled sausages. You'd put anything in there. You'd find like a dog's paw. Like, if your child had cut off its finger in the garden, the finger would go in. Anything to kind of

bulk up the coddle. Do you know what I mean? The cat's tail, couple of eyes. Do you know what I mean? The cat's tail, couple of eyes. Do you know what I mean? Like whatever, you just fire it all in, boil it up

and then you serve it out to the family. So coddle is like, it's really traditional Dublin dish now. I'm sure some chefs have tried to make it very fancy. This restaurant doesn't do it.

But I wasn't really aware. But I have to say, it was so nice. You had coddle there? No, they don't actually do coddle, but they do kind of like, well, they do bacon and cabbage. Oh my God, I love bacon and cabbage. But they're like a chic, high end version of traditional Irish meals. And it was like Culcannon, you know Culcannon with the mashed potato with the spinach in it. Oh my God, I want to go.

Yeah, they'd like this in-house, this kind of creamy liqueur, kind of like Bailey's, but they make it in-house. Do you know what? That's a nice vibe if you have to entertain an English person. A hundred percent. Bring them there.

Yeah, they're banging out the cores. Bit of Bono. Oh, get lost. Yeah. So patriotic. I know, there was an English person in there and I was like, Get out.

Get out, what the fuck are you doing here? Who brought you? Who invited you? Who gave you the nod? invited you who gave you the nod huh who gave you the nod to come in here even though I'm busy

swinging out of every weather spin going all the other times the one Irish restaurant I can find I'm like black in the drawer

I'm like it's ours what's it called again Myrtle Myrtle restaurant in Chelsea I actually met her on some a game show

Anna's her name she's lovely but anyway I had an absolute ball listen just to say I am totally open to restaurant invites and hotel invites I love them I will go I will post I will review everyone gets five stars publicly I mean privately they might get two

but publicly everyone will get five stars and ideally if the hotel could be in the Maldives where I beat that and flights are included, like, I will, I will review. I will review. We need to sort out a beat that.

I think, like, I'll even go at the end of August if that works for you. I can't. Oh, for sure. Well, I'm going. I'm going without you. I'll be for.

I'll be for. I'll be for. I can't wait to go. Yeah, I need to, people need to stop. Every time I post, like, flowers, I like flowers again.

And every time I post it, I get, honestly, hundreds of mails being like, they disg stop every time I post like flowers I like flowers again and every time I post it I get honestly hundreds of mails being like they disgust you I actually like flowers yeah of course thank you very much

speaking of Irish stuff right I went to Cork on Saturday Ciarán and I had a Bare by Vogue event now we didn't organise it it was the Bare by Vogue girls

and it was such a good event but Cork Cork Cork what a place I but Cork Cork Cork what a place I know I love Cork

I know I spend a lot of time there I'm actually I think I'm going to put on more Cork shows actually Cork is amazing there's loads of stuff to do in Cork

they have lovely restaurants like it's just it's so nice are you the face of Cork now have you moved from Howth to Cork my mother's Cork you know

is she she is indeed and they're all so friendly her maiden name's Corkery like how true what's your mum's first name Patricia's Cork, you know. Is she? She is indeed. And they're all so friendly. Her maiden name's Corkery. Like how true. What's your mom's first name? Patricia. Patricia Corkery.

That's so ironic. Patricia Corkery, yeah. Patricia Corkery. Yeah. My mom's name's Sandra Cassidy. What's her name? Notions 11. I'm sorry.

Sandra Cassidy. It's not an Irish name at all. She was dragged up She was dragged up somewhere else She's from five minutes down the road from me and she sounds like she's from Cork

Sandra Cassidy compared to the Irish name she sounds like she was raised in Monaco I must start listening to your pod you will not Sandra Cassidy

not for your ears I fulfilled my dream this week I was working with Peppa Pig What is she up to now this one Theodore was sick so he couldn't come and I felt terrible

because there was loads of other kids there and I was like living his dream and he wasn't even there so I got Peppa to do this wave hi Gigi

hi Theodore I must have watched that like 300 times why now like the both of them just want to watch it all the time and Gigi's like

bye bye to the phone they're so obsessed with the pig Peppa Pig I can't like what she's going to go into're so obsessed with the pig Peppa Pig I can't like what she's going to go

into politics next I am telling you Peppa Pig is everywhere imagine having come up with Peppa Pig like that it's genius that child

Jo her merch is oh her merch my house is full of it yeah I will say as foam characters go I genuinely believe

Mr. Blobby was the greatest physical comedian of our generation. Yes, Jo. Mr. Blobby. What was the house he was in with Nell?

Fun house. Nell's house party. Nell's house party. When Mr. Blobby came out and like ripped the place apart with his blobby tantrums,

it's some of the funniest shit. I remember going down a blobby hole during lockdown and I was creased laughing with his blobby tantrums. It's some of the funniest shit. I remember going down a blobby hole during lockdown and I was creased laughing. A blobby hole. At the stuff he was doing.

He is genuinely, he's the chaplain of our time. I didn't, to be honest, I was more of a Bosco girl. No, Bosco is a child's puppet. Blobby is a,

Blobby is an adult physical comic. I know, but I wasn't into Blobby. I don't know very much. I know he's pink. I don't know much about him. It's one of those things you look back as an adult and comic. I know, but I wasn't into Blobby. I don't know very much. I know he's pink. I don't know much about him. It's one of those things

you look back as an adult and go, that is so funny. It's something you watch as a kid. You just think it's a funny, it's a funny polka dot bear running around. As an adult,

you look at it, it is hysterical. Okay, I'll get in on the Mr. Blobby. Five stars for Mr. Blobby. Also, also, Jo's mad for Mr. Blobby. That's actually someone, I know. It's a real English thing though, Mr. Blobby. That, also... Jo's mad for Mr. Blobby.

That's actually someone I know. It's a real English thing though, Mr. Blobby. That's probably why I never saw it. What channel? No, it was on... What channels did you have? We were raised on that stuff.

Not me. I only had RT1 and RT2. Do you remember that? No, but like... Jesus Christ. That was back in the famine. Like, I mean, we're talking... We did get more channels than two

in the 90s and all. I know. I never watched Mr. Blobby. Vogue, you're talking, we did get more channels than two in the 90s and all. I know. I never watched Mr. Robbie. Vogue, you are significantly older than you make out. I am 36. She is like... I called myself 37 the other day

wishing time away. There was one television in the town and we'd all stand outside the window and look in. Just black and white. Black and white. Black and white fizzing away there on the screen.

We didn't know what we were getting. Anyway, that's a dream. That's actually a dream of mine is to hang out with Mr. Blobby like you've got your Peppa Pig bucket list ticked mine is I would

love to meet Mr. Blobby but like not I don't want to meet the man behind the suit I want to meet him in character doing his thing

I want him to like run at me like he does knock me over I don't I'm sorry I'm just not into it is he seeing anyone Joe find out what his deal is

will you? Is he on Raya? That's the thing Get him on Raya Get him on Raya He'd clean up You're not even on Raya anymore He'd clean up

You wouldn't even need to wear condoms He's completely plastic from the outside You're completely safe Hello Hello No Vogue Okay go

You're spending too much time With Peppa Pig Like hello It's Vogue Williams Hello Hello Chi Chi Hi What caught my eye this week

What caught my What caught my ears this week So there's a podcast in Ireland Called The Two Johnnies Which is Hosted by Two lads called Johnny would you believe and Johnny B and

Johnny Smacks and they've just done a big show in the three arena anyway people were tagging me in this thing that this story they were telling

called the GAA Catfish so I listened to it anyway OMG it's like Ireland's Tiger King I was trying to listen to some of it

then I thought you'd just tell me. It's complicated. Like, there's infographics being done up now and all to tell the story properly. Basically, Jo, the story goes, one of the comics, Johnny B, was basically chatting to some girl online, you know, hot young one on Insta, blah, blah, blah.

They'd arranged to go on a date a couple of times. She kept it. Oh, it was one of them? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. She kind of cancelled, you know, the usual shite. Like, the first one of them. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, she kind of cancelled, you know, the usual shite. Like, the first one was like,

oh, someone's dead. The second one was, oh, sorry, I've just fallen into a diabetic coma. Like, the excuses were getting more ridiculous and ridiculous. Eventually, and then she was like, this is my friend Nikki, and Nikki was like, oh, come to the pub. Me and, the girl's name is Cora. Me and Cora are here, and then he got, anyway,

one, two, skip a few. It turned out the whole thing was this girl, Nikki. But, that was only one part of the story, right? It turned out because the girl Cora, who he'd been chatting to online,

who was obviously fake, had said that she'd gone out with this inter-county, look, I know nothing about GAA. I just know it's basically football with your hands. That's all I know, right?

Yeah, yeah, that's true. I mean, I'm embarrassed as an Irish person to say that. I went to one GAA match once. I was going out with a guy at yeah that's true I mean it's I'm embarrassed as an Irish person to say that I went to one GAA match once I was going out with a guy at the time

who was mad into it I went once I went after a bottomless brunch which was a huge mistake huge mistake he said the second he saw me coming

around the corner he was like I deeply regret inviting her to this thing I spent the whole time looking for chips going around the Croke Park on my own

looking for chips emptying and filling do you know when you're so pissed you just keep filling your bag and emptying it and filling your bag and you don't know what you're looking for you going around the Croke Park on my own looking for chips emptying and filling do you know when you're so pissed you just keep filling your bag and emptying it and filling your bag and you don't know what you're looking for

you're just constantly rooting yeah basically ruined his day ruined my day whatever right that's my only experience with GAA anyway this cat

and the reason I was like they were talking about red flags when you get catfished and one of the cat one of the red flags for me was this character Cora who was catfishing him, was big into GAA, right?

Yeah. But she said she was a stylist. And I was like, well, I'm sorry now. No, don't go. A stylist who's into GAA. That's like Anna Wintour. You're seeing Anna Wintour

at a cockfight or Anna Wintour being into MMA. It's not. Those two worlds do not meet. They do not connect. They just don't. No, I know, I know.

Cora was on to him didn't meet him twice then what happened so there was she stood him up a couple of times he realised it was her friend Nicky

but he then rang these inter-county GAA players that Cora the fake the woman who doesn't exist

had said she was in a relationship with he rang them to find out the deal and like one of them said he'd been going out with, he rang them to find out the deal. And like one of them said he'd been going out with her like for like three years. It turns out she had loads of characters.

So say there was like seven characters. So these other people were going out with her but like had never met her. She had seven characters. All this girl, Nikki, had seven accounts and she had all these worlds going. All these girls were messaging these guys

and they were in like kind of online relationships and she was photoshopping herself in photos with them she was following them around so like one guy just say his name is david or something she'd have felt with him eating a subway in like manchester now look obviously i'm ad-libbing a lot of the story i'm not going to get it correct in manchester eating a sandwich but the only way she'd have had it if she'd been in Manchester because he was playing a match there. So she was properly... Oh my God. Oh yeah.

And who is she then? Have they found out who she is? So they know who she is. They're not identifying her on the podcast. But you know Tatlilife, which I don't get involved in. Is she like a girl our age? She's younger than us.

But yeah, she's just a random, she's just a normal girl. Oh my God. Well, I mean, we say normal. I mean, she's clearly either, she's some sort of, she's just a normal girl. Oh my God. Well, I mean, we say normal. I mean, she's clearly either, she's some sort of identity savant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so what is happening now?

So like they've just, they haven't aided her. They've aided, they know who she is to them and that's it. That's it. But they're talking now about like repercussions.

Is it illegal? You know what she's doing? Like she's wasted a lot of men's time. Like she's hurt a lot of people. And also she was sending sexy shots and some of the lads sent shots time. Like, she's hurt a lot of people. And also, she was sending sexy shots and some of the lads sent shots back. Yeah, I know.

Now, therein lies the problem. That's... No, so that is just to have that much time on your hands. Oh, well, this is what I cannot understand. I'm like, do we reward her

for being as, like... Imagine even being in a relationship with two people. Like, that's too much. I don't know how she did it. She's obviously not got a job or anything. She's the queen of fake news.

This is what I mean. She is, like, if she used her talents for good, she'd do very well in one of those trail farms in Russia. Do you know those trail farms who were, like, drumming up fake news? This girl, I'm actually glad she was just tricking footballers because it sounds like she could be the kind of woman, she's so good with fake news, she could get Trump re-elected. That's kind of the power this girl has. Yeah, it's

kind of, it's a little bit impressive but so mean. She's obviously not well. I mean, we'd have to say she's not well. Anyway, it's worth a listen if you find the story is fascinating and there are more twists that I haven't told, just give it a listen. But there's a lot of catfishing that goes on because Amber even says to me, ah, they might be a catfish now and like, you just have to pick up on it. I don't know just to give it a listen. But there's a lot of catfishing that goes on because Amber even says

to me ah they might be a catfish now and like you just have to pick up on it. I don't know how people could be arsed wasting their own time and someone else's time.

I'd be afraid I would be raging if I thought I was talking to a ride and then it wasn't a ride. This girl. By the way you should walk home.

There's so many rides in London today. I saw them on my way here. Oh really? A lot of rides just standing around the streets I'm wearing my good bra

yeah and it's a night you look good today thank you go slag at the Christie your way to return hello slag at the Christie and I have my slag strips

back Katie put Katie my hair in from Larry King put my slag strips back at the front of my hair slag strips anyway so I was talking about

the catfishing thing obviously it's just always catfishing is just always fascinating to me and this girl Rose has her name on insta she sent me a picture of a guy she'd been chatting to so it's like Toby on Instagram

quite a good looking guy and she's like Toby on whatsapp and it's the actual him without the photoshopping and it is hysterical like that's the actual him without the photoshopping and it is hysterical oh no like that's the other thing

if you're going to catfish make sure your cuffs match your collars make sure your fucking profile photos match your whatsapp photos you're going to get sung rapid

what a gobshite anyway we need a Netflix series to make sense of it or she needs to write a book a magically inspiring one like yours I demand not

everything magically inspiring stop trying to drive my sales down before the book has even come out the pamphlet you mean the children's pamphlet

Nikki God love her hope she's well but she should probably be playing the lead role in an amateur drama thing I mean the girl's got smarts and you gotta God love her. Hope she's well, but she should probably be playing the lead role in an amateur drama thing. I mean, the girl's got smarts. And you've got to apologise for that shit, Nikki.

That is not right. She should be out there rigging elections. If I was her parent, I'd be very concerned about her mental wellbeing. Oh, big time. Oh, she turned up.

So one of the lads, he started in university and she turned up. So he knew then that this girl was, that one of the footballers knew who the real girl was and she was making up the story that they were going out. Another girl from Bay and all turned up. So he knew then that this girl was, that one of the footballers knew who the real girl was and she was making up

the story that they were going out. Another girl from Bay and all this stuff. Oh my God. And then she turned up in his university in one of his lecture halls. Oh, that's the bit I heard.

Yeah, so he went in anyway and checked with the admin people going, does she go to this university? And they're like, she doesn't go here. She took the time. So she was literally

just following him around. That's stalking. It's stalking. Oh my God. No, she needs help. She took the time. So she was literally just following him around. That's stalking. It's stalking. Oh my God. No, she needs help. She needs help. I don't think they should out her because she honestly needs help.

I know. I didn't even go to my own university lectures. No, who goes there? Let alone someone else's. Amber and I went to college in Aberdeen, right? Amber's college course was two hours a week. That's all she had to do. So I couldn't wait to get to go to my course

off I went I was in nine till five every day gross how disgusting she's two hours yeah no wonder she stayed there

for like nine years anyway photoshopping thing makes me laugh so much there's one thing kind of like smoothing out your pores there's another thing

putting on a new head that's broad that is different but I do think that like some people go too far with the photoshop and actually do you know your pores. There's another thing if you're putting on a new head. That's broad. That is different. But I do think that like, like some people go too far with the Photoshop. And actually, do you know what?

If they feel like doing it, let them do it. But when I look at some pictures of myself from like maybe four years ago when I used to like thrive on Facetune, like I looked bonkers.

I used to whiten the whites of my eyes. That's just stupid. Someone actually called out the Kardashians. They got stung because that wedding in Portofino. So like it was stupid. Someone actually called out the Kardashians. They got stung because that wedding in Portofino.

So like it was their pictures and then it was the Pat pictures. But I do think Pat pictures can make you look uglier because you're not like getting the right pose or anything. Totally.

Did you see that pasta they had at the wedding? I know. It was like one string of pasta. I know, but like it's the Kardashians. Like do you know what I mean? They're hardly going to be

haping up the place. One. If you saw my plate when Jane cooks a roast. But also, as we know, things that are fancy are small. Fancy, posh is small. Small things are posh. Except for you, obviously.

You're absolutely huge. I'm very large, yes. Oh my God, for the first time. But mostly in restaurants, it's like the more expensive it is, the teeny tinier it is. You need a fucking microscope to see half the shit

in those Michelin restaurants. I know. That's how it goes. It's all being chic. That's why I don't go to any of them. I get too hungry. It's not for me. I can't stand that.

Well, let's do like a tasting menu. It's my idea of hell, having to wait and get one piece. Like, Spenny went to this restaurant and it was like a sushi restaurant and they give you one piece of sushi. Then you wait, then you get in. I can't.

I just want an itsu style pile of sushi in front of me and I'll pick and choose when I want to eat it. But with the wedding, now, supposedly it was sponsored by Dolce & Gabbana.

They haven't said it was, but it obviously was. I mean, come on, look at them. And Dolce & Gabbana, Stefano Gabbana once said about the Kardashians

that they were the most cheap people in the world in an Instagram comment. And now he's sponsoring their wedding. I know, but Dost and Gabbana are assholes. Yeah, they are assholes. Assholes. They're homosexual men who seem to be kind of homophobic. Or like they were against

same-sex parenting and all this jazz. Just all very strange behaviour. They seem incredibly bitchy. and also hypocrites hypocrites yeah they're always being mean to people

now we're being mean to them but we're only saying we're saying as we see it and we've had a hard week but they're big fans of Melania Trump like I mean fashion needed a right wing

a right wing label they are the Nigel Farage of fashion do you remember Hugo Boss made all the Nazis their outfits did they? Hugo Boss made all the Nazis their outfits? Did they?

Hugo Boss made the Nazis uniforms. Well, I don't have any Hugo Boss clothes. And they can say all they want, being like, oh, we didn't know, it was just a bit of business at the time. But that's like me going into fashion and design and pants for the Taliban and being like, well, I didn't know at the time. Do you know what I mean? It was just a bit of work.

You knew. You knew. now at the time do you know what I mean it was just a bit of work you knew you knew they came out Darcy and Gamonic came out in 2018 called Selena Gomez ugly they're arseholes

no they are arseholes I literally thought I'm sorry the way you went I thought you were totally going to say well she is they were right there

no she's a ride they are arseholes but they're kind of bitter old men Spenny actually walked in their show I'll never forget it because I was absolutely furious I was very jealous actually walked in their show. I'll never forget it because I was absolutely furious.

I was very jealous. He walked in their show. Two of them he did. And they were really, really nice to him. Really? They've turned a corner. I'm surprised you're not sending your man Zelensky, Dalshi, and Gabbada combat pants.

But that's why they did that wedding. But I saw their wedding kiss. It was honestly like he had dislocated his jaw to try and swallow her head. Like one of those snakes. You know the ones so they can get the whole body in. It actually sickens me.

And then there was, this is the last. I swear, I swear I will have weeks off the Kardashians after this, okay? They are trying to get pregnant as well. So she said that she should be drinking his semen

four times a week. I just, I'm so let down by Courtney like you were the cool one what are you doing and she does her vaginal steams

but now a vaginal steam sounds quite nice I'm sorry I just Courtney she was the cool one she was the one

who didn't really flirt with the media as soon as she pulled the baby out of her own vagina I thought there's something not right with her. She's literally making Kim's sex tape

look like a classy move. I agree. This is the thirstiest, she's now become the thirstiest Kardashian. How did that happen? She is. I just.

You went from the most hydrated Kardashian to the thirstiest Kardashian and I think it's all driven by your man. That's what I don't like about it. Because she didn't want it before. She wanted to leave the show

and then in comes fucking Serpentine. Eat her face and like, that's her now. She just always looks kind of stoned. She's just always kind of smiling away. It also kind of weirds me out that she's changed her entire wardrobe to suit him. I know.

It's like if I started just going around in slippers and tracksuit bottoms like just trying to be Span. Folk. I don't wear slippers and tracksuit bottoms it's all I'm so confused I've never seen you in unless I see you in global

that's literally all you're ever in that's actually so true yeah I actually I actually 100% oh crap

I live in a slipper yeah I forgot about it but they're real slippers I'm surprised you aren't wearing his taekwondo outfits and stuff around the house. His little ninja costumes.

This Gia Caprish named Nikki as like any other part of the world she'd probably be arrested for stalking and Ireland would just be like ah bit of crack.

Sticky Nikki. Pritt stick Nikki. Sticky Nikki. Pritt Stick Nikki. Sticky Nikki. Can't get rid of her. Can't get rid of her. There's our Sticky Nikki there with her binoculars in the bush. Roll, roll, roll.

The last thing, I just want to say, this is their third wedding in Inverted Commons, Chloe and your man. Listen, I have no judgment on that, so say what you will at least you have

the integrity to make them different men Vogue this is exactly this is true one like there's a

global supply chain shortage how many hens there's not going to be a penis straw left in the world by the time this woman is finished with this wedding

it's outrageous if you think you're getting three presents, like how many toasters does she need? First wedding, you get John Lewis salad tossers standard.

Yeah. Second wedding, send money to charity. Send money to charity, which you just don't ever send. And third wedding, I'm like, I bought you a well in Africa.

Again, I haven't spent a penny on you. Good luck. Yeah, no more. You get something for the first wedding and that's it. Yeah, and I'm not paying

for a present if I'm getting a portion of pasta the size of a tic-tac. Do you know what? That's made me think of something. The best thing I got

for my divorce, I'm not even joking you, was this Mila Hoover. I still have it. It's our Hoover in Hoth. It's the best Hoover and it was like, it's the best thing

I got from the divorce. Yeah. What do you mean you got from the divorce? Because we split our things up and so I got the Hoover. Not Winston, no? Not the dog?

Oh, fuck Winston. Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Winston, there's something wrong with Winston. I needed to bring that up. Any dog people out there listening, he's not right.

I think, I think he's on the right. I'm not being bad. He followed me into the shower. Like into the actual watery shower, into the water sprinkle.

Into the shower. I was like, what are you doing when the water sprinkle into the shower I was like what are you doing when you get out of the shower and he's been sitting at my feet the whole time and I'm like does he not want to die alone is this what's happening

I don't know what's happening to him no I know when he got in the shower I was like that's too much maybe he's just going a little bit blind no

because he really hates the shower and I was surprised to see him with hair. Oh, that's so cute though. Poor Winter. Oh God. Just the head though still. I want to say

this right and I don't use this word lightly. I actually don't like the word but it's very fitting. Channing Tatum is a geebag. He's a geebag. Did you see that shit about him? Who does he think he is? Oh, translation like the word, but it's very fitting. Channing Tatum is a geebag. He's a geebag. Did you see that shit about him? Who does he think he is? Oh, translation for the English, a fanny bag, I suppose.

No, he's a wanker. He's a wanker. He is... Do you know what? I always... He just has that smug look about him as well. I always had a big... Ever since Josh Hartnett disappeared out the face of the earth,

I was a big fan of Josh Hartnett. Where did he go? Do you know he was on the set with some of our friends in Dublin a few times? He filmed something there for a while Where did he go? Do you know he was on the set with some of our friends in Dublin a few times? He filmed something there for a while, didn't he? Yeah, and he was,

where were we for that? He was just, he's just unbelievable. He's just an unbelievably sexy, gorgeous man. Anyway, apparently Hollywood just got the better of him and he was like,

do you know what? I'm not arsed with this. It's shit crack. So we kind of laughed and did a lot of indies but he's back in some movie at the moment. Obviously, I keep up with him.

With a face like that, he can come back I used to have a huge horn for your man Jonathan Brandes do you remember Jonathan Brandes he was

remember the film It the Stephen King film It he was the older brother in that I had a huge horn for him and the only reason I was like whatever happened

to my Jonathan he's dead what did he die of I think it was a drug overdose I keep meaning to put together that quiz dead or alive dead or alive dead or alive which I think it was a drug overdose I keep meaning to put together that quiz

dead or alive dead or alive dead or alive which I think I've definitely stolen that ring that em what do you call a song like that Jo

jingle Jo that can be your job hold on that's literally what I was about that's literally what I was saying Jo that's a great game you came up with

yeah Jo maybe you do a bit of work actually fucking put the thing together first that'd be great mother of god didn't even get us a poxy ring light this week

we've got this cheap shit he's not even in the bloody room zooming himself in from Guernsey or something I hope you're enjoying yourself Jo on your holidays on your holidays thinking you can take time off

for a wedding who do you think you are anyway Channing Tatum threw an absolute wobbler in a restaurant got these people thrown out because he thought they were taking pictures of him.

They actually weren't. They probably were. But who cares? If someone wants to take a picture of you, tough shit. You're in Magic Mike. Go home and have a takeaway.

I know. Or have your picture taken without your knowledge. I know. I wonder, is it possible to have that level of fame and not be a wanker?

Is it possible? Do you just, does everyone just, do you know who apparently is an absolute angel who Tom Cruise really polite

apparently when he did I think he did the late late and there was just our kind of chat show at home he came in he met everyone he shook all their hands remembered all their names

like he's almost kind of he works you know he works the room he kind of works you but like apparently he's an absolute gentleman and

apparently Top Gun the new Top Gun is unreal yeah I wouldn't be into that didn't even watch the other one the old one Jesus

I didn't watch excuse me if I choose to watch Shite on TV that's what I will do I'm not watching Top Gun and all these movies that are good

if it's good I don't want to watch it well I can't wait to see it and apparently it's good, I don't want to watch it. Well, I can't wait to see it and apparently it's amazing but I was laughing because... We should go to that Everyman Cinema. They come,

they bring you drinks, they bring you pizza. What Everyman Cinema? There's one around, near my house, that's the cinema we go to. It's our closest cinema. No way.

And they actually bring you, like you can get pizza. You hate pizza. I don't like pizza. But you get other bits. Chicken salads maybe. So when I first moved to Clapham, there's a lovely picture house,

like a little, it's not an indie cinema, but it's designed like an indie cinema. I love those ones. Basically what I mean is it sells booze. I used to go down there when I was supposed to be writing in inverted commas,

get a large glass of red and go in and watch movies. It was the nicest way to spend my day. Yeah, I must do that. I must go and see a movie. I just have a very short attention span. Oh, by the way I've

gig news we're talking about Channing Tatum sorry sorry that's oh my god I just did a vogue there that was unbelievable

I just did I just I just pulled a vogue is that how bad I am that's literally how bad you are and I'm so embarrassed I'm so sorry

see how annoying it is Joanne I can't change my personality how hard is it to be around I know we tried is it not so hard to be around Amber and I then

Amber's not as bad oh Amber's bad well it's different in conversations in conversations it's more but in situations like this it's hard to kind of keep you

locked into one thing which is exactly what I just did there so anyway next thing you go to Susan your bestie Susan for your Morpheus I'm going to actually

slip Susan a 50 quid to electrocute your brain I think you need a frontal lobotomy you know what we're going to remove half your brain you don't need it Joanne

too full on I'm like put it in my ass put it in my ass fill me out put it in my ass I want eyes in my ass so I can see the snakes coming from behind

thank you so much for listening ass. I want eyes in my ass so I can see the snakes coming from behind. Thank you so much for listening and as always, please send your emails to mgmtpod at gmail dot com. You can see it in her eyes. Hello. Send your emails to hello at mtgmpod.com oh I've added

another Prosecco show I put on another Belfast show in the SS Arena we've added another one and it's on sale today