NASW Social Work Talks - EP67: Living With and Overcoming Stress

Episode Date: February 9, 2021

Darryl Webster, MSW, LICSW, a long-time school social worker and author of "I Think I'm Going Crazy: Proven Strategies for Managing Stress, Overcoming Anxiety and Depression," speaks with us about dealing with stress during the pandemic and beyond.

This episode is brought to you by the University of Louisville. Welcome to Social Work Talks. My name is Greg Wright. People are more stressed out than ever. You can thank our divisive political arena, the pandemic, and economic uncertainty for much of that. As a result, social workers are facing more anxiety on the job. But how can they learn to live with it and even overcome it? Today, we are talking with Washington, D.C., school social worker Darrell Webster. Darrell was named 2007 Father of the Year, a USA Today National Hero, and is the 2018 NASW Maryland Chapter Social Worker of the Year.

He is also author of I Think I'm Going Crazy, Proven Strategies for Managing Stress, Overcoming Anxiety, and Depression. Welcome to Social Work Talks, Daryl. How are you doing, man? I'm doing well. Thank you, Greg. Thank you for having me. You have lived with anxiety and a depression issue yourself, and I wanted our listeners to know how did that happen? Well, in my 20s, that's when I first experienced anxiety disorders and depression. I was comorbid with them both. Actually, I had a number of anxiety disorders that I experienced at that time. I had generalized anxiety disorder, panic attacks.

I experienced social anxiety disorder and agoraphobia all at the same time. And it happened at a time when I was going through a lot of firsts in my life. I had my first job as a child protective social worker in Washington, D.C., at a time when D.C. was the murder capital of the nation. We were dealing with the crack cocaine epidemic. I had my son during that time. I got married to my high school sweetheart, and I purchased my first home, which was my family's home. And it was a wonderful home, but it was a money pit. So it was a tsunami of stressors and responsibilities that were all thrown on me all at the same time.

Yeah, wow. So how did you end up overcoming that, though, Daryl? And how long were you actually in it before you got out of that situation? It took me a few years to get a grip on the anxiety disorder and major depression disorder that I have. Anyone that has experienced anxiety disorders and depression will tell you it's a very debilitating mental illness that is very insidious in a lot of ways. And it took me some years of coming to understand what I was dealing with

because when it first happened, I was clueless as to what I was going through. I didn't know what my body and mind were reacting to. And ironically, my mom was a retired psychiatric nurse, and I had picked her up at the airport when I was in the midst of it all. And I told her I wasn't feeling like myself. I was feeling out of sorts. I was having these strange feelings mentally and so forth. And she told me that you sound like you're going crazy. And it freaked me out because I'm expecting her to give me some reassurance that I was going to be okay. But although she was a mental health psychiatric nurse, she didn't understand the nature of anxiety disorders.

And so through bibliotherapy, reading about anxiety disorders and depression and seeing a psychiatrist, and eventually as a last resort I took medication, I was able to come out of it within a few years. And that's been over 25 years now, and I've never had a relapse. Yes. So you were a child welfare social worker, and I was wondering if anxiety is a part of that job normally. So, you know, is it a routine thing? And were you also, like, seeing it with other social workers you were working with in a child welfare area? um but my job at my job at the time was very stressful um again dc was the crack cocaine

uh deal of dealt with a crack cocaine epidemic i was on the front lines i was going into homes and seeing things i'd never seen before kids being sexually abused or physically abused i'm a very sensitive person i internalized all of that stress that i was being uh exposed to And I experienced secondary trauma as it related to that. And it impacted me on a great, great, deep level. Yes. So now we're in a period in our nation where we have a pandemic. There's a lot of racial unrest.

Economically, we are in a bad shape. So, it's like that a factor, you think, why a lot of folks now and social workers are experiencing a lot more stress? Yeah, we've all gone through stress at levels we've never seen in recent history with the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic and the racial unrest and division in the country with regard to the last administration and all that was, all the division that was sown around the country. We're seeing rates of mental illness that we've never seen before. In fact, Some mental health experts predict we will see a tsunami of mental illness in the years to come as a fallout of everything that we're going through. A lot of people are experiencing PTSD as it relates to just the insurrection that occurred on the Capitol, just those images.

images. I talked with a colleague in the school system, and she said that when she saw the siege on the U.S. Capitol, it brought back all those feelings from 9-11. And I thought that was pretty, pretty deep that she would have that same type of bodily reaction that a lot of us had when those planes hit the World Trade Centers. So yes, the political strife and the pandemic occurring all But at the same time, it's placing a lot of our population under a lot of stress, in particular social workers, because we're on the front lines rescuing and helping other people. And not only are we dealing with our personal stresses as it relates to what we

are experiencing and seeing, but we're taking on the stresses of those people who we're helping. And so we need to really be mindful of self-care, practicing mindfulness and going on walks and maybe practicing yoga and doing all types of things to just escape from the negative stresses that are going on in society right now. Yes, so could you, like, tell us exactly what is mindfulness? How does that work? And also, how can a social worker practice that on a daily basis, Daryl?

Yeah, mindfulness really helped me when I was in the midst of my anxiety disorders and depression back in my 20s. I learned that the power of diaphragmatic breathing, just understanding the power of the breath. A lot of people don't realize how important the breath is unless you hold your breath and then you realize how we need to breathe. But we, a lot of us don't breathe properly. When you learn to just sit still in terms of mindfulness, mindfulness is nonjudgmental, paying attention on purpose in the moment. Just coming to a place of rest and peace and be still with the breath and calming the body. It has a way of activating the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the rest and relaxation part of the nervous system.

And it also makes the sympathetic nervous system stand down, which is the fight or flight part of the nervous system. So mindfulness is something very easy that could be done. You don't need any special room or place to have. All you need is a quiet space to be with yourself and with your breath and just learn to breathe. And of course, the mind is going to race. That's what the mind does. They say we have 65,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day, and most of them are negative and repeated thoughts from the day before. But through mindfulness, learning to just sit still and tame the mind, the mind begins to come to a place of calm and inner peace. But unfortunately, We are a society of doers, doers, doers.

We're always on the go. We never take that time just to de-escalate and to calm our nerves. Yes, so you have also, like, said a walk is also a beneficial thing. I've actually read a few articles that say it's actually an excellent form of exercise. But how does that also play into our feeling of well-being, Daryl? A great question, Greg. I've practiced walking for years, especially because it's an easy thing to do. I love walking in nature and green space.

Research has proven that people who get connected with nature in terms of just being amongst the plants and the animals And just even walking in the sun helps to boost vitamin D and even serotonin. So walking in nature is a very relaxing activity that anyone can do at any age. It doesn't impact the joints in the body. And I've been doing it for many, many years, and it really has helped me. I've often walked in nature and come home and took my blood pressure. My blood pressure went down dramatically after a long walk because in nature, nature is something that's attuned with our spirits. And when we are one with nature, it's very relaxing.

Our faith is also a powerful tool as well. And it really doesn't matter what a person's faith is. As you said, it doesn't matter what your faith is. Just being connected with your higher power, whatever that higher power or source may be for you, is something that's very spiritual, and it's a way of calming the body. I'm a spiritual person. I've often prayed and just used various mantras, just being at peace with one with the universe, and it's very calming. And I have friends of different faiths that practice in their own religion. And in the end, we all get the same thing out of our faith, which is a sense that we are not in control, that ultimately there's a universal source of higher power that is supporting us and guiding us.

And when we make that connection with that source, it has a way of alleviating the burdens that we take on ourselves when we think we can control things, because ultimately we don't have control to a certain degree of a lot of things that happen in life. So when we pass those burdens on and those fears and those anxieties on to our higher source, universal source of power and spirituality, it has a very de-stressing effect on our minds and bodies and spirits. I was a journalist for a lot of years and, you know, I was, you know, out there. I was a reporter. I listened to the listen to a newscast daily. I read the news constantly, but now I find that it actually makes me anxious. I was wondering, should we limit it? It's interesting that you say that, Greg, because I am an avid news watcher, and my wife makes fun of me all the time because she says,

you come home, you'll watch the 4 o'clock news and the 5 o'clock news and the 7 o'clock and the 11 o'clock news because I want to be informed and know what's going on in the world. However, I've learned to not look at so much of the news because our minds are very reactive to those types of images and sounds that we hear glaring across the screen throughout the day. And so what I learned is that I was conditioning my mind in a very negative way, and it was causing me a lot of stress that I was unaware of. So I've learned to disconnect from the news as much as I used to and just go into a place of mindfulness and meditation and not be so in tune to all the negative chaos going on in the world. Since I've done that, my blood pressure has gone down. I'm less anxious. I'm less worried about the future or fearful about the future because I am not bombarding my mind 24-7 with all of the negative news of future catastrophes that they talk about. And so I would suggest that anyone, if they want to get some clarity of mind and inner peace, is to disconnect from any form of negative television or radio or anything of that nature that is causing them to have some angst. Our social media, I hate to, like, say this, but I grew up with a diverse group of, like, people, and I find myself, like, arguing either on a Facebook, Instagram, or whatever when a classmate or a friend and we, like, end up arguing.

And I don't think that that's a good thing. So should we just avoid social media or just manage it better? I think we should manage it better. All of those forms of media have their place and they have a purpose, but when you overabuse anything, it could be detrimental to one's emotional, psychological, spiritual health. I'm one of your Facebook friends, and if you notice, a lot of times I will deactivate my Facebook page just to give myself a mental break from all that I'm hearing from different people talking, whether it be politics or other types of negative news in the media. I, quite frankly, don't get into debates with people about politics or religion or things of that sort because people are too highly invested in those types of issues. And so it doesn't do me any good arguing with someone who is just hell-bent on their viewpoint about something. So I tend to stay away from those really highly charged emotional subjects. This episode is brought to you by the University of Louisville.

The University of Louisville offers a CSWE-accredited, highly ranked MSSW program, 100% online. Gain the knowledge, resources, and skills to promote social justice and the well-being of others in your community. You can make a difference. Visit louisville.edu forward slash online to learn more. I want to turn back a bit to like social workers so if they're on a job and they are stressed out how can a social worker find help I would definitely say from my own experience if a social worker or anyone for that matter dealing with a lot of stress a particular mental health type of challenge is that they need to find a source of support that they trust. And that could

be a relative, like I sought out, I spoke with my mom who was a former retired psychiatric nurse on the job. If they have good rapport and they trust the relationship they have with their supervisor, they should definitely consult with their supervisor who could possibly refer them to EAP program so that they could get some referral to a mental health therapist or other support in that area. Some people who are affiliated with churches could reach out to their pastor or that they're affiliated with synagogue and they could seek help in those areas. Even a trusted friend that they really do believe in and trust their judgment, reach out to them, but they definitely should not hold those types of feelings and fears

inside, if they feel like their minds and bodies are going through something that they might not understand, it is making them think thoughts that they may want to harm themselves or it's interfering with their life to a high level where they can't function on a day-to-day level. They definitely should reach out for help as soon as possible. Again, it's been 25 years since I had my mental health crisis. I've learned a lot through bibliotherapy and friends and educating myself. And I've proven that you don't have to live your whole life.

And, of course, everybody with mental illness, everybody's different. Everybody's body, mind, and experiences are different. But from my experience, I learned a lot. They talk about post-traumatic growth. I've gone through trauma and came out on the other side having grown from it and learn from it. And I'm a much better person from it. A lot of folks are much more isolated now. So it's really like harder now to, you know, hang out after work or see a family member that you trust. So how can folks do this during a period where for the foreseeable like future

or the next few months we'll be isolated? We're fortunate that we live in a time when we have such technologies where we can have zoom calls and see people's faces and teams calls and and have those types of connections many many years ago you couldn't do that so that's helpful we can still come together and keep our social distance and see someone without necessarily violating the CDC protocols and just to be near them and let them know that you did that you care when the pandemic first started, I was really inspired by children of the elderly who went to elderly homes and stood outside their windows and put their hand up to the window and just to make a connection

with their elderly parents. And just that experience alone, even with that glass physically dividing them, the oxytocin and the dopamine in each of those person's brains were increased just because they can actually see their faces and look in each other's eyes. And so there are other things we can do, even with the limitations of COVID, to be supportive and be attuned and let people know. Even talking on the phone with a very caring and kind voice and letting someone know I'm here for you, that could go a long way in helping people to be less stressed out and to feel less lonely.

Greg, let me say this before I go. I just wish that as a society that we normalize mental health, mental illness to the extent that we can talk about it and that people can feel sorted in a way where they do have these challenges. They will seek out help and not feel ostracized or ridiculed because they're dealing with a mental illness. And one of my goals and platforms is to help as much as I can to destigmatize mental illness. and this long-time belief that many people have about mental illness. It's unfortunate. We have a lot of work to do to change that narrative as it relates to mental illness. Once again, thank you, Greg.

Thank you for all the work that you've done, and thank you to NASW for all the support of all of us as social workers. Thank you, sir, for being a guest with us here on Social Work Talks. All right. Have a good day. You have been listening to NASW Social Work Talks, a production of the National Association of Social Workers. We encourage you to visit NASW's website for more information about our efforts to enhance the professional growth and development of our members, to create and maintain professional standards, and to advance sound social policies. You can learn more at

www.socialworkers.org. And don't forget to subscribe to NASW Social Work Talks wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks again for joining us. We look forward to seeing you next episode.