National Park After Dark - Death Wish: Joshua Tree National Park

Episode Date: December 19, 2022

People put a big emphasis on living but part of living – is dying, and that takes some thought too. Confronting our own mortality is difficult and unsettling but to the living left behind, knowing your final wishes can be a welcome sigh of relief. Today we venture into Joshua Tree National Park, and discuss the wild ride that was Gram Parson’s life, and untimely death. For the latest NPAD updates, group travel details, merch and more, follow us on npadpodcast.com and our socials:Instagram: @‌nationalparkafterdarkTikTok: @‌nationalparkafterdarkSupport the show by becoming an Outsider and receive ad free listening, bonus content and more on Patreon or Apple Podcasts. Want to see our faces? Catch full episodes on our YouTube Page!Thank you to this week’s partners!Apostrophe: Use our link and code NPAD to get for first visit for only $5.Hello Fresh: Use our link and code npad18 for 18 free meals plus free shipping.Microdose: Use code NPAD to get free shipping and 30% off your first order.For a full list of our sources, visit http://npadpodcast.com/episodes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Close your eyes. Focus. Listen to work getting done with Monday.com. Relax. As AI does the manual work, while your teams are aligned on a single source of truth. Feel the sensation of an AI work platform, so flexible and intuitive, it feels like it was built just for you. Notice you're limitless.

Limitless. Now open your eyes. Go to Monday.com. Start for free and finally. Breathe. Girl, winter is so last season. And now spring's got you looking at pictures of tank tops with hungry eyes. Your algorithm is feeding you cutoffs. You're thirsty for the sun on your shoulders. That perfect hang on the patio sundress.

Those sandals you can wear all day and all night. And you've had enough of shopping from your couch. Done hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear up on that envelope. It's time for a little in-person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross. Work your magic. People put a big emphasis on living, where we want to call home, the lifestyles we want to lead, the people we surround ourselves with, and how we spend our precious time before we face the music.

But unfortunately, part of living is dying, and that takes some thought too. Confronting our own mortality is difficult and unsettling. But if you're like most of the population, you don't spend your free time creating a death plan. But to the living left behind, knowing your final wishes can be a welcome sigh of relief in a very dark time. Communicating and documenting how you wish to be honored at the end of your life and providing information to your loved ones as to how to take care of your final affairs isn't exactly the most glamorous, but it can save a lot of potential confusion, heartache, uncertainty, and arguments. Everyone should have a death wish.

What is yours? Welcome to National Park After Dark. Ooh, starting us off on a really somber. Well, no, thought-provoking. Like, what is my death wish? You know? Right, yeah. Having a death plan is something that's, like, really overlooked sometimes, I think,

especially for people our age, you know, in their 20s and 30s. It's kind of like that's a thought for another time, like many years from now. but you never know. And this story has a lot to do with kind of like figuring out what someone's final wish would have been. When you don't know. When you don't know for sure. And when different people have different ideas of what that person would have wanted. Welcome back everyone to National Park After Dark.

Happy holidays. I know we're getting into the thick of December. It's a really exciting time. And this episode is really special because it might be, it might sound a little familiar to some people, like a very small amount of people. So Cassie and I were just talking about this right before we started recording. And last December, Cassie, myself, Ian and Cassie's partner Al were in L.A. for a live moment show. And we did a show on Joshua Tree.

Cassie did a survival story and I shared this story. And we looked at the calendar and Cassie was getting like memories pop up on Facebook. and we did this literally a year ago today that we're recording. And I take that as a sign that it's a good thing. Yes. And we're doing this for a couple reasons, number one, because it's a really cool story and a lot of you haven't heard of it. We haven't been to this part before in one of our regular episodes. And I have something really special at the end to share with everyone that kind of ties into

the story in the spirit of the theme of the story, Ian, the holidays, etc. Even though I've heard this before, I will happily hear it again because it is such a wild story. And Danielle and I visit all the places that this takes place while we were in Joshua Tree. So we have like that much more of a connection to it, which makes it really cool. So maybe we can inspire some people to go over to these locations while they're in Joshua Tree. I would love that. Yeah. We did go to every single place.

And it's like it's so cool just to have such a connection. And yeah. So without further ado, let's visit Joshua, which, Joshua Tree National Park is located in sunny Southern California, established as a national park in 1994. It's a Halloween baby, actually October 31st, 1999. Oh, like Death Valley, too. Actually, you know what? I remember that, actually.

You got it. I literally was like going to say pop quiz. And I was like, oh, shit, she's going to be like, why are you putting me on the spot? And you did it. If you had asked me, I wouldn't have known. Because I freeze under pressure. I'm like, I don't know anything. But I remember, I remember researching this.

And I think part of it is because the deserts are connecting because you have, now my brain is freezing. The Mojave. The Mojave and the, what's the other desert? Well, at least for Joshua Tree, there's the Mojave and the Colorado deserts. And then there's the Sonoran, right? Sonoran. Sonoran.

Yeah. There's a Sonoran desert. And they all kind of are relatively spread across the same region. And I think that they were established. Were they established in the same year or two? Yeah, literally same exact day. Yeah, same time. Yeah.

Cool. Yeah. Well, great job. Starting off on the right foot. Minerva Hoyt, who we talked about way back in the first, like, handful of episodes when we did the Women of the National Parks episode, she was actually very instrumental in persuading the government back in 1936 to protect the area in the first place, which was then first done officially by Franklin D. Roosevelt, whom first established Joshua Tree as a national monument back in the 30s.

The park is divided into two distinct ecosystems. The low and high desert, which contains swaths of sandy plains dotted with basins, oases, monoliths, cactus, and granite rock piles. Animals ranging from roadrunners, coyotes, desert tortoises, bobcats, and tree frogs have all perfectly adapted to life here in the desert. Human history, of course, also goes back thousands of years in this area as well. Hunter, gatherer, and nomadic groups of native peoples inhabited the area. And in the late 19th century, the park actually saw a big gold rush flurry of activity, which ultimately reduced the park's original protected area by almost 300,000 acres. So that was quite a dent.

And right now, it's about 794,000 acres today. Still a large chunk. Ruins of abandoned mines are still found throughout the park, and many of which are accessible by various hiking trails. Almost 3 million people make the trek to the park each and every year to enjoy hiking, photography, rock climbing, horseback and mountain bike riding, and to get a glimpse of the iconic Joshua trees. The park can be accessed year-round, but with hot summers, with temperatures peaking in the hundreds on 100 degrees Fahrenheit midday, and ground temperatures reaching about 180 degrees Fahrenheit,

which is just way too hot. Spring and fall visits are kind of preferable. You might want to lean towards doing that. They tend to be more comfortable around 60 to 80 degrees. I can't remember how hot it was when we went. I mean, I felt like there were times when it was pretty hot and we were there in December. Like, we were hiking and I remember I was like sweating and it was, we were relatively warm in December. I mean, I don't even think we had jackets on or anything.

But my story, when we did the moment, the survival story, I think he was there in June. And he was there during a crazy heat wave and almost died. So definitely be mindful of the weather conditions when you go to Joshua. Tree. Yeah, and it's beautiful year-round, so you can't go wrong. Yeah. Clearly, Joshua Tree is a unique and beautiful place, and it is drawn in people from all over the world. And a lot of people actually say they feel called to this park. There's something about it. There's like a spiritual element that a lot of people feel drawn to. And one of those people was a man named Graham Parsons. This episode is brought to you by Prime. Obsession is in session. And this summer, Prime Originals have everything you want.

steamy romances, irresistible love stories, and the book to screen favorites you've already read twice. Off campus, L, every year after, the love hypothesis, Sterling Point, and more. Slow burns, second chances, chemistry you can feel through the screen. Your next obsession is waiting. Watch only on Prime. Graham Parsons was born Ingram Cecil Connor III on November 5th of 1946 in Winter Haven, Florida. From the day Graham was born, Graham was born. he never had to worry about money as he had the stroke of luck of being born into old money.

Oh, that's the life. The life for Cassie. That's how I was born to be born into that, but I was not. It's okay. Well, now you're what's called new money. You have to, like, create new money for yourself now. So you have a shot. You're just not like a, like in Titanic when they're like, oh, they're old money or new money.

You have to be, you have to create your own fortune, unfortunately. Yeah, it's very unfortunate. His father was down to earth and he was from Tennessee, but he married into a completely different lifestyle when he married Graham's mother. And Graham's mother was named Avis Snively and her family was well known. Snively Groves Incorporated was one of the most prominent citrus companies in the entire world. The company was started back in the 1920s and had become wildly successful leaving the Sniveleys as one of the pioneer families of Winterhaven. So they're like a very well well-known prominent family in the area. And while the company operated in Florida, Graham actually grew up

primarily in nearby Georgia. As we know, appearances can be very deceiving. While both Graham's mother and father loved their children and provided for them, they had some problems. They both abused and were addicted to alcohol and his father suffered from some PTSD issues following World War II, where he served as a combat pilot and he actually flew in over 50 combat missions. And they may not have been the happiest in their marriage, but from all accounts, it seemed like they did their very best to hide any issues they were having from their children and the rest of their family to try and keep everything as smooth as possible. Despite their struggles, their family was like local royalty and lived very well off in a large mansion and always provided the best for their

children, who were Graham and his little sister, Avis, who they call little Avis because Avis is also the mom. Okay. Avis Jr. Do you do, I don't think. I don't think. you do juniors for girls, do you? Yeah, I don't think you do either. But I don't know, actually. Now that I think about it. Yeah. Like, why not? Interesting. I'd be curious if anyone knows the answer to that. Yeah, so true. They had all the nicest clothes and ample access to all of the best opportunities. And one of those opportunities ended up changing Graham's life forever. When he was 10 years old, his family took him to see none other than I want to say King of Rock. Was he the King of Rock? Elvis. Yeah, that's the King of Rock and Roll, Elvis. I just watched the Elvis show or movie, actually.

Did you see it? Like the newest, newest one? No, I've seen it like on Netflix. Or no, actually, when I was flying out to Colorado to see you, it was on the airplane. It was an option to watch. And I, oh, I chose other movies, but it caught my eye a little bit. Yeah, it was, it's filmed differently. And I had kind of a hard time getting into it, but I ended up really enjoying it. So anyways. So Graham went to see Elvis when he was 10 years old, saw him perform. And after the show, Graham met Elvis backstage. And from then on out, he knew there was nothing else out there for him other than to become a musician.

Soon after seeing Elvis, he learned how to play the guitar and the piano. He would perform for his family and neighbors. And he even had his little sister involved in his like act he created. and he was writing songs by the age of 11 and doing all these little performances for friends and family. Graham's first tragedy came in December of 1958 when his father died by suicide shortly after sending his wife and two children off on the train to visit other family in Winter Haven for Christmas. After his death, Graham, who was only 12 at the time, stepped up to assume the man of the house role and really helped support his mother through her grief and her continued addiction issues.

So he grew up really, really fast. He wasn't the man of the house for long, though, as a man named Bob Parsons came into the picture and married his mother. At first, he was kind of unwelcome by a lot of people in the Snively family because they thought he was only marrying Avis for her old money just to kind of set himself up. Did he not have money? He didn't come from the same means that the Sniveleys did, no. Okay. But soon after, he really formed a close bond with the children, both Graham and Little Avid. and Graham ended up really looking up to him.

And Bob formally adopted the kids, hence the last name Graham Parsons. He's really committed to that money. Okay, yeah. Well, he's like, I'm playing the long game. He's like, yeah, I don't want to talk to you. I'll be. I don't want to talk about that. Because I feel like maybe he, I feel like.

I'm just kidding. He's probably a genuinely nice person. Well, I think it's kind of a natural thought, which is, you know, I know it's to protect like the family and all that. And we've seen time and time again of how people do take advantage of situations like that, especially traditionally like a man kind of taking advantage of a woman who's in an emotionally difficult spot. And also she has some maybe addiction issues that she's just not like the strongest willed. And he's like, here, I'll come and take care of you and take all your money and marry you. But from all accounts, it seemed like Bob was the real deal. He really

cared about Avis and Graham and his sister. So moving forward, Graham attended fancy prep schools and his classmates remember him as exuding confidence, being really kind-mannered, and somewhat reserved. He played in bands. He formed with some of his fellow classmates, and they performed locally. And this one got me. So when he was 16 years old, his family even bought him his own small nightclub so that him and his band could perform music in. Right. His own nightclub. Like I, I, A normal thing would be like, his family even bought him his own guitar. And it's like his family even bought him his own entire nightclub. Right. Really, as one does, you know. As, as parents should do. While Graham was a senior in high school, his mother was admitted to the hospital and here

comes his next tragedy. She passed away shortly after on the day of his high school graduation. Accounts vary between whether she passed away from alcohol poisoning or cirrhosis of the liver, but either way, her cause of death was traced back and attributed to alcohol abuse. With his family life in shambles at this point, Graham relied heavily on music, which was always a constant throughout his life. Graham had gravitated towards rock and roll his whole life after meeting Elvis, but that all changed when he decided to go to Harvard law. That's a switch up. Yeah, it's like, interesting.

Very different. Very different. And he didn't study law at Harvard. He attended the university in 1965 as a theology major, which is very interesting. But he didn't last. What is theology? That's a great question. I want to say it right.

Google says, a study of nature of God in religious beliefs. Yeah, that sounds right. Like different outlooks on the world and different takes that people have in different cultures. Yeah, it says theology is the study of God, God's character. God's actions in relation to the cosmos and especially God's relationship to humanity, the character and history of humankind, and its responsive relationship to God within the paranormal of the world and history, space, and time. Wow, so he went to Harvard. He went to Harvard to study religion. Essentially. Okay. Yeah. Interesting. Very different from the rock and roll Elvis. Yeah, I guess. But it didn't last long either way. So he was never, yeah. It wasn't super serious for him because he only lasted a couple months. Like, he didn't even last a whole semester.

He's like, bring me back to the cocaine and the guitars. Okay, he wasn't doing cocaine yet. Oh, sorry. Sorry. I just like, rock stars, you know. Yeah. And you also have a little prior knowledge. Yes.

He threw out his Bible and exchanged it for a eight ball of cocaine. That's right. So he didn't take school seriously and he barely attacked. attended classes. He dropped out, so academically, he may not have gained much from that experience, but Harvard gave him something different. It gave him a new perspective on music. Because up until this point, like I said, Elvis and the rock and roll genre was the primary influence on his musical life. But while he was in Harvard, he met friends that introduced him to country, and that changed everything for Graham. He and his Harvard friends formed the international submarine band. They ended up moving to New York

City and then over to California. While in California, Graham was busy recording with the band and busy falling in love. He met a woman named Nancy and together they had a daughter named Polly. The band played a cross between rock and country twang, which only produced one album and

a couple of singles before they dissolved the band. But you can look them up on Spotify. So, they're there still. Soon after, his relationship with Nancy also fell apart and they discontinued their relationship. But Graham was far from being done with music.

Even though this international submarine band didn't go anywhere, that didn't mean he was throwing in the towel. He had actually met a member of the rock band, The Birds, and joined them. He spent a few months with them, even performing at places like the Grand Old Opry, before they headed to England to perform. Wow. So he, like, he hooked it up. The country spot if you're doing country music.

It's an honor to play there. So when they're in England performing him and the birds, he was introduced to McJagger and Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones and they started becoming really close friends. Fun fact, I've seen the Rolling Stones in concert. You did? Yeah. What year? It was a few, it wasn't too long ago.

I want to say like 2018 or 2019, they were playing at Gillette. And I was very impressed by McJagger and everyone up on. I mean, the Rolling Stones, they're all, I mean, they're older men. I mean, they're pretty old. And they rock out. They have way more energy than me. And they're dancing. I kind of recall you saying this to me, actually. Yeah, I think we work together at the vet place when I went. And they were just so lively and it was such a good show. And I was so, I didn't know what to expect because obviously they're legends. They're the Rolling Stones. But they're also older now. So I really wasn't, I didn't know what to expect. And I was pleasantly surprised.

And I'm like, tang, these guys are way more energetic than me. And a lot of them are known to be, they're all sober now, too. So it's not like they're doing a bunch of drugs on stage or anything. They're just actually that passionate and talented and excited to be there. So it was a really cool show. They've turned a new leaf. They have. Well, I actually, I know I just told you this, like when we recorded our bonus for Patreon.

But a couple of days ago on December 7th, Ian's sister and I went to a Rolling Stones tribute out in Denver. And it was really cool because it was in, believe it or not, this old church. So it's like a 110 year old church that's been renovated. And it's called the International Church of Cannabis. And it's all renovated on the inside to look really trippy. And the Rolling Stones tribute was at night and they shut all the lights off in the church and had like 400 candles up.

And there was no singers. There was no like rock and roll. It was all a string quartet doing Rolling Stones songs. Yeah. That's really cool. It was awesome. So anyway, that's my little Rolling Stones antidote there. So at this point, they're in England.

And the birds are set to leave London to head to South Africa to do a performance. But Graham learned of the apartheid situation going on in the country and he refused to go. He did not want to have anything to do with what was going on down there. And he claimed that he just didn't want to be a part of any sort of racial segregation. And he was staying put. And the birds and him actually got into a huge argument about it. And they ended up parting ways. So the birds went without him.

And that ended his time with the band. Like it wasn't just like a, hey, I'm going to sit this one out. It was a big fallout. Okay. And a lot of people look back on that and have varying opinions. Some say that he didn't go to South Africa, truly because of this moral dilemma regarding racism. But some of his previous bandmates suspected something else entirely. And that was he would have rather stayed and buddyed up with Keith Richards, who he had just met.

Fair. I mean, kind of a solid business move there. And their friendship took off. They spent a ton of time together discussing music, different musical influences, and did some songwriting together. Graham wasn't about to hop aboard the stones anytime soon, though. Like they were already a very solid band. They didn't have an open spot for Graham. So he set off to find another musical home. And a few months later, after the South Africa incident, Graham made up with one of the band

members from the birds and his name was Chris Hillman. And Chris at that point had also left the birds. And so now Graham and Chris are kind of just floating around without a band of their own. So they linked up together and they formed the band called The Flying Burrito Brothers. And it sounds ridiculous, but I swear to God, like I have a whole album on here of all my favorite songs from their albums. Like on Spotify, I have like a playlist. They're very interesting.

They're very interesting. I mean, I love the name. You listen to some of them when we were in Joshua Tree. I did. So Chris describes the band wanting the Beatles treatment before ever recording. a hit album. So at this point, the Flying Burrito Brothers had made a record deal, but they hadn't had any, like, big success yet. But that did not stop Graham from wanting to look and act the part. And I think a lot of that may have stemmed from like his upbringing. Like, he was always used to

the best of the best. Yeah. And especially after becoming so close with the Rolling Stones, who have already at that point gained massive success. He kind of sees them and kind of wants to emulate that a little bit. Yeah. Well, they say dress for the job you want. Not the job you have. Yeah. Right. So his first step in dressing the part now that you said that was, do you remember the nudie suits that I described?

Yes, I do. Okay. Yeah. So Graham got this idea of getting nudie suits for their band. And if you don't know what nudie suits are, I don't blame you. But you can look them up. They were created and made famous by Newty Cohen, who created decorative rhinestone covered suits that were wildly popular and worn by many famous celebrities at this time.

So they're literally like... Bedazzled. Bedazzled, fringy, elaborate eye-catching suits. And each member of the Flying Burrito Brothers had a custom-made suit, each with their own personal flair. And Grams had naked women, marijuana plants, pills, flames, and a giant cross on it. Everything you loves. All his favorite things.

Here's are a few of my favorite things. Anyway, so the band hired models got insanely high and drove out into the desert and took photos for their album cover, which then would be kind of like infamous for the band from there on out. And through his time with the Rolling Stones, Graham met a man named Phil Kaufman, who was working for the Stones. Graham asked Phil to become the Flying Burrito Brothers tour manager. They had the opportunity to play Woodstock, but the band went on. tour instead for their album, The Golden Palace of Sin. And it's like, in hindsight, God, what a missed

opportunity. Like, they could have been at Woodstock. Woodstock is still being talked about. So instead, they are like, no, we have an album to promote. We're going to go on tour and they decided to do so by train, where Phil remembers his primary job as this tour manager was an endless loop of trying to get them to practice between shows and attempting and failing to hide drugs. Like, he was like, corralling chickens, like looking after high children, essentially. Oh, that sounds awful. Yeah, and the tour was just chock full of drugs. I mean, everything from pot, psychedelics, pharmaceuticals, alcohol, even cough syrup,

like these guys were off of the rails. Oh, and obviously cocaine, you know, rails cocaine. Yeah. And their performances were a huge mess. The band barely practiced and often went on stage under the influence. So they want to be treated like the Beatles. But they're just like fucked up in glitter outfits falling all over themselves on stage. Essentially, yeah.

Hmm. The tour ended and the band continued on but started to experience some problems. The band would be playing shows, but not earning enough money for them. So they were barely even breaking even. And meanwhile, Graham would show up in extravagant outfits and driving limos while his bandmates were all sharing a single car with all their gear stuffed into it. he was not. That would be enough to make your friends mad. Like they're in a little van cramped together and you're in a limo. Yeah, he's like, I've arrived. I've arrived. None of you can fit in my 12th person limo. So accounts vary on exactly how much, but we do know that Graham received trust fund money.

Anywhere from $20,000 to $50,000 a year, which equates to roughly $150,000 to $376,000. thousand dollars today. So he didn't need to do this for the money. This was his passion project that he was lucky enough to pursue as a job, whereas his bandmates were, like this was their income. You know, they were struggling artists. They were relying on this. And people around Graham began to notice he was starting to give off the vibe of wanting fame and rock and roll lifestyle without really putting the work into earning it. Again, Graham gravitated towards his friend Keith Richard. The Stones gave the burritos permission to cover their song, Wild Horses, and had them open up for one of their shows, Altamont, which was a free concert put on by the Stones, which was supposed to be, it was like kind of dubbed the Woodstock of the West. But it wasn't all peace and love and it quickly turned violent. With over 300,000 people in attendance, things got really rough and actually numerous people died during this event. So it was definitely not the same. as Woodstock. And around the same time, Graham was really going downhill. He wasn't going to his

band practices. He wasn't taking his music seriously. He would show up late to all of their shows and would be often wasted on stage, slurring his words, forgetting lyrics, things like that. And finally, the band just said, enough's enough after he came on stage one night, barely able to stand. And he was singing songs randomly, like not following their set list, going totally off script and they fired him. It's unclear whether or not Graham was upset or relieved at this point because he didn't miss a single beat. He and his girlfriend Gretchen were invited to France by Keith Richards. The Rolling Stones were there writing their album, Exile on Main Street, and Graham was intimately involved in this entire process. After France, Graham married Gretchen and they settled into life

in Hollywood where he recorded his first solo album with the help of a female vocalist named Emmy Lou Harris and Elvis Presley's band. So he like has the hookup, you know. Yeah, these are big. They toured and while it wasn't a huge success, it was successful enough for them to pursue a second album. All the while, this whole time, Graham is still struggling with addiction issues, this time with an added addiction of heroin, which is obviously very serious. And he was trying to sober up and would go through periods of sobriety, would relapse, etc. The kind of the was perpetuated a lot and he was he really was trying though to get sober especially for their second album that they were approved for and were going to release graham eventually moved into phil

who is the tour manager's house after his own home with gretchen burned down and at this point his relationship was really troubled and gretchen was not too thrilled about graham's decision to move into phil's home she said it wasn't a good move for his sobriety and she worried for him in that environment, which is fair. Again, his personal life was in shambles, but his professional life was actually on an upswing. His second album was doing really well, and he decided to gather up some of his friends and head to his favorite place on earth, Joshua Tree National Monument, to celebrate. Because at this point, it's still a monument. There it is. Now we're going to the National Park. For Graham, Joshua Tree was a place he enjoyed for its solitude. It served as a spiritual place as well as a

place of refuge, where he frequented in the past in times that he just wanted to be alone and to kind of get an escape. He'd take psychedelics and watch the night sky in search of UFOs. That sounds nice. That sounds really nice. While Graham was living outside of Joshua Tree, he learned that his friend and the previous guitarist from the birds named Clarence White had been hit and killed by a drunk driver while he was loading equipment into a vehicle after a show. He and Phil went to Clarence's funeral, which was a largely traditional Catholic ceremony. And that's, this is really important. This is where Phil claims that him and Graham made a pact. So Phil, Graham, and Chris Etheridge, who is a former Burrito Brothers member, were at this funeral and kind of just discussing it, how Clarence wouldn't

have chosen that type of ceremony for a celebration of life. Like, he wouldn't have wanted that type of thing, because it just didn't seem fitting to the type of person that he was in this lifetime. So they all agreed, and this is according to Phil, they all agreed here, that when it was their time to go, whenever that may be, they would like to be laid to rest in the desert, not in a Catholic funeral, buried in a coffin, embalmed, whatever, like they wanted to go out in the desert. Okay. After the funeral, Gretchen said that the two were trying to mend their relationship and that Graham was spending a lot of time in Joshua Tree to quote unquote dry out. So sober up, stay sober.

She said that they were looking forward to the future and the future of their relationship and how much potential it had if he just laid off of the drugs and alcohol. He was making a lot of progress and had calmed down significantly compared to his prior days. He was for the most part sober, laying off of the hard drugs and only casually drinking, but addiction, as we well know, is never an easy road. On September 18th, 1973, Graham was driving through the monument with three friends. Margaret Fisher, who was his old high school girlfriend, Michael Martin, his friend and assistant, and Dale McElroy, Michael's girlfriend, when his dry spell came to an abrupt end. They were hitting every bar they found up and down right outside of Joshua Tree, and they were buying drugs from anyone

that they could find. They stumbled upon the Joshua Tree in and pulled over to reserve some rooms. Michael left to hunt down more pot while the others continued to party, but Graham took it just a little too far. After a long day of heavy drinking, followed by a nightcap of six double tequila's and shooting up morphine, he was in some big trouble, and all of his friends knew it. Graham became unconscious in room number one, and in an effort to rouse him, Margaret gave him an ice-cube-s of depository. So put a nice cube up his butt. Yes, just to like shock him awake. I mean, that would wake me up for sure. And it worked. It did. It worked. And he was shocked awake back out of his state. And he even made a joke about his pants being down because Margaret obviously had to pull his

pants down to do that. And he got up and stumbled down the hall to room number eight. At this point, Margaret left the room to grab a coffee in hopes that the caffeine would continue to snap him out of it and kind of keep him awake, and she left Dale in charge of watching over Graham. Graham took a cold shower and laid down in the bed. Dale sat down in the chair next to him as he slept and soon noticed the rhythmic pattern of his breathing, up and down, up and down, was becoming irregular and very labored. Dale alerted Margaret and they began chest compressions and mouth-to-mouth while waiting for an ambulance. Graham was taken to the High Desert Memorial Hospital, where attempts to revive him

continued, including shots of adrenaline straight to his heart, but all with no success. Graham was pronounced dead on arrival at 12.15 a.m. on September 19th, 1973, he was only 26 years old. Wow, that's so young. His autopsy report revealed the cause of death as drug toxicity and made note that his body was covered in needle marks both fresh and healed over. Margaret and Dale contacted Phil to tell them, you know, what had happened. Aunt Phil immediately drove from L.A. to the Joshua Tree Inn. Graham's body had been taken away at this point, of course. But Phil cleaned up the room and took the girls away from questioning by local law enforcement.

Meanwhile, Bob, whose Graham's stepfather, was in the hospital in his home of Louisiana. He had moved there years prior with his new wife. He had remarried after Avis passed away when Graham was in high school, who ended up being Graham's previous babysitter. Oh. And since his remarriage, the relationship between Graham's. and Bob was strained and mostly fell apart, probably because his stepdad married his old babysitter. But they barely spoke or spent any time together at the time of Graham's death. So their previous close relationship after his mom died clearly deteriorated.

And Bob was dealing with his own issues. He also had cirrhosis of the liver, but checked himself out of the hospital to go retrieve Graham's body and to bring it back to Louisiana for burial. So depending on who you ask, this move was out of love. Some, including members of Graham's own family, say that this was out of desire of wanting to bring his stepson home to be near family for his eternal rest. But others claim that Bob was up to something else entirely. According to Louisiana state law at the time, if Bob could prove that Graham was a Louisiana state resident, Graham's estate would go to his next male kin, which was Bob. And burying Graham in Louisiana alone wasn't enough to establish a residency, but it definitely would have helped the

So it could be a money grab. Right. Meanwhile, as this is all happening, Phil was totally kicking himself. He should have been there for Graham. He should have been monitoring Graham, making sure he didn't relapse. He was really raking himself over the coals. He wasn't there for his friend in his final days of life, but he thought, I can do something for my friend. I can fulfill his death wish. Uh-oh. Uh-oh is right. On September 20th, Phil and Michael Martin got rip-roar drunk, posed as funeral workers, got their hands on a hearse, which happened to be Dale's hearse because Dale, the legend she is, had a random ass hearse that she used as a camping vehicle. A renovated hearse. I'm like, you're my hero, honestly. I mean, it is literally made to have someone laying down. So if you need a place to sleep, a hearse, actually, makes a lot of sense if you think about it. They're storage. You can lay down comfortably.

For any height. I mean, they're made for people of any size. So tall, short, whatever. Just think about it is all we're saying. Yeah. Lots of windows. Yeah. Natural light coming in.

Yeah. It's great. You can take the tint off. Curtains. Curtains. Yeah. God, it's such a good idea. I know.

Dale really was before her time. Yeah. Anyways, so these guys pose as funeral. workers, they borrow this hearse, and they head to LAX. And that's because that's where Graham's body was being held and readied for transport to New Orleans. They told the staff of LAX that Graham's family had actually just changed their minds last minute and wanted Graham to fly out of a private jet out of an entirely different airport. And they had hired them to make this transition. So they totally make this up. And they're drunk saying this. And they're drunk. A police officer showed up.

but the men, posed as funeral workers, were dressed in head-to-to-toe denim and cowboy boots, reeking of booze somehow, some way, convinced the police officers not only to let them take Graham's body, but to actually help them load Graham's body and coffin into their hearse from the airplane hanger. What in the world? Like, not only are you going to let us do this, you're going to help us do this. And the cop like opens the back of the hearse and they're so like tie-dye and weed and like, right. Yeah, they're like, okay. Beads on the curtains. It's like, yeah, this is fine. This is the hearse. They're probably like, all right. I mean, I guess we won't question it. Like, we're already here, so take them away. The guys take off for Joshua Tree National Monument. So they're driving this hearse with

their, with Graham's body in the back. And along the way, they're stopping at bars. continuing their drinking. They stopped at a gas station and filled up a five-gallon can of gasoline for what they were about to do next. They drove the winding road through the monument until they pulled up to Cap Rock, a large and prominent rock formation directly off the roadside. They pulled over around one in the morning, took the coffin out of the back of the hearse, and flipped open the lid.

There they found Graham, naked, and with the telltale Y incision that can be seen after an autopsy. They placed a beer can in with him, said their final words, emptied the gasoline can over his body, lit a match, and flicked it into the coffin. Graham may have wanted to be cremated and his ashes to be spread in Joshua Tree National Park, but the way this went down was not exactly that. An actual cremation takes extreme heat. We're talking over a thousand degrees Fahrenheit for a prolonged period of time, as in hours of that. And what Phil and Michael did was not that. The coffin burst into a fireball, but not one that produced nearly enough heat to do the job of even a partial cremation.

God. In the middle of the park, too. In the middle of Joshua Tree, in the middle of the night, hammered. It's like, what is, I mean, to be fair, I know this wasn't Graham's wishes, but part of me has to think he would think this was a little funny. Right, exactly. Well, and that's the whole thing. They're like, yeah, this may not be a formal cremation with like a beautiful cremains sendoff in the park. But he sure shit didn't want to be buried in Louisiana by his estranged stepfather somewhere he'd never spent time, didn't have any spiritual or emotional connection to.

Like, that's what I'm talking about. Like, they're like, well, he wanted this. And Bob was like, well, his family would want him here. And he would want to be with his family. You know, it's just. Yeah. I mean, what they're doing is pretty. dramatic, I think, but it's, I have to think, like, the rock and roll lifestyle if he was,

I feel like Graham would be like, this is absolutely insane and I'm, and I'm here for it. This is a rock and roll send off, if I've ever heard it, for sure. Yeah. So not only is this just a half-assed drunken situation, the guys start to panic because they saw headlights coming in the distance. Because again, this is in the middle of the night. And they freaked out and they bailed. And they left the charred remains of Graham and what was left of his casket on the side of the road.

Just pieced out. Oh, God. And it was eventually found by other visitors to Joshua Tree and reported to police. How traumatizing. Oh, my God. Imagine. So Graham's body, or the 35 pounds of what was left of it, was badly burnt. His body was charred and largely unrecognized.

He had to undergo a second autopsy performed by the same coroner who did the first, and he was primarily identified by a ring given to him by Gretchen that he was still wearing. Phil was a loudmouth, and everyone knew that he was involved. And he was arrested on September 26th, so very shortly after this happened, not even a week after this happened. And the very next day, Michael turned himself in for his role in Graham's body theft. The two were charged with the theft of a casket and were each fined $750. That's the punishment for...

It has to be different nowadays. I can't imagine. You can't do that. No, no, no. Well, I was surprised there wasn't a desecration of a body. That's what I was going to say, because that is definitely something that you would get today. Yeah, so I'm not exactly sure the legality aspect of that, but that's what they ended up getting charged with. Right.

What remained of Graham's body was. given to his family and he was interred in the Garden of Memory Cemetery in Louisiana. Bob never did get any money from Graham's estate and it was split between his sisters, wife Gretchen, and daughter Polly. Since his death, books, documentaries, and movies have been made about Graham's life and death. Grand Theft Parsons came out in 2003 as a comedic take on his story and it stars Johnny Knoxville and Christina Applegate. A documentary called Fallen Angel came out in 2000. and 4, which was full of interviews with his surviving family, friends, and former bandmates. The site where Graham's hasty cremation took place is roughly located at the Cap Rock parking area.

Cap Rock is a popular destination for Joshua Tree National Park visitors and has a short, like, talking less than a mile loop trail called Cap Rock and Graham Parsons Nature Trail, which Cassie and I did when you were there. And although not condoned by the park service, Parsons fans have used the base of the rock as a makeshift memorial for him, leaving guitar picks, flowers, flags, crosses, and items of remembrance. Periodically, the park service will clear out the items, and one of the items was transferred to the Joshua Tree Inn. A large stone slab and guitar sculpture has found its way back to the Joshua Tree Inn where Graham lost his life. We obviously visited the Joshua Tree Inn and we rented

the roommate. And of course, we spent some time in there. We signed there's a lot of books in there that are guest books that are amazing to read through people will leave how Graham touched their lives, how his story impacted them, and how his music has influenced them in their lives and their loved ones. And we just, you know, spent some time in the room. And obviously, at the memorial right outside of his room as well. When we did this story, when I was first researching this story back for the live show, I obviously read it to Ian because Ian's my rock and roll guy and loves my little musician. And he really loved Graham's story.

And he wanted me to leave something at the memorial for Graham. Not the one at Cap Rock in the park. I didn't leave anything there. Even though there was some stuff there, I think. There was. And people had written on the rock and things. And I think there was like a little bit of sand. There's sand under the rock.

And I think we might, did we write like put a heart in the sand? Yeah, something that can be erased and not hurting anything. Right, but I did leave. Ian gave me one of his guitar picks. He actually played a song with the guitar pick and then gave it to me to leave at Graham's Memorial at the Joshua Tree Inn. So I did that. You know, in the end, Graham's wish was to become a well-known rock star. And it kind of came true.

I mean, his unique blend of rock and country that he dubbed Cosmic American Music has bled into and influenced the sound of the bird. the Eagles, the Rolling Stones, and many more. His death may have outshone his rising star, but he is obviously remembered nonetheless. His daughter, Polly, actually has said, quote, you know, he never had any commercial success in his lifetime, but there really aren't any musicians you can't sit down and talk to about his music that weren't affected by it. It's timeless.

He stood for something that was outside of the box, not bound by genres or politics or what people thought. and he was almost evangelical in his vision. He's a bit of a hero in that regard. And I agree with her. And that's the story of Grand Parsons. I think Grand Parsons' story is so cool. Just like the life that he led, but more the legends he left behind.

Yeah, and the legacy. And he just had such a passion for it. And although he had some trouble with addiction issues in life and his family did, he did, I think, his best to pursue his dream. And he did have a leg up. I mean, there are so many people that wish they could quit their nine to five, or quit their job that gave them money and just pursued their passion, whatever that may be, whether it's music or something else.

And not everyone can do that. Because of financial constraints. Yeah, and limitations. And Graham did not have that. So he was very lucky in that regard. And that's kind of where I want to segue into what I was. alluding to in the beginning of the episode. So I'm going to share a little bit about Ian and try not to cry. But when Ian and I first moved to Washington, we obviously didn't know anyone.

And Ian was such a social butterfly and like wanted to just be involved in anything he could be involved in, which was hard because he worked remote. We didn't know anyone. I was still working at the vet hospital at the time. So I wasn't there like a lot. And yeah, he tried his best to make himself known in the community. Let's just say that. And he joined, like, you know how every community, for the most part, has like a local Facebook page, like a community page of some sort. Yeah. So he joined one. This is all, like, he tells me this after the fact, by the way. He did this all on his own, didn't tell anyone until after. So he joined this local community Facebook page. And right around Christmas, so like two weeks before Christmas, he posted something. in the community page saying, and this is at the height of COVID also. So a lot of people are out of work, have a lot of financial hardships, etc. And he posted a really beautiful message on the community page saying, you know, introducing himself, basically saying he's new to the area and that he had the good fortune of not being financially affected by COVID and he still had his job. And he was

being gifted a new guitar to add into his collection, a very many of them. And he was deciding that he wanted to gift one of his older guitars to someone in need. And he did so by just saying, you know, just shoot me a quick message and I'll try and pick someone who really needs it. And he had a lot of responses. And I remember him saying, this is when he brought it up to me. Because he's like, okay, I'm having a really hard time because so many people are sending me really beautiful messages, and I only have one instrument to give away. Yeah, it's hard to pick. Right. So he ended up settling on a mother who has had a young child with autism, and she said, you know, he has a really difficult time in a lot of areas of life, but he lights up and comes alive with music, and he's been

wanting to learn the guitar. So he drove out, met this woman, and gifted this young man, one of his guitars for Christmas. And I just thought that was the most beautiful. thing. God, that is like the nicest thing I've ever heard. Yeah, and he didn't tell anyone. Like, I remember telling his family that story at his memorial service. And they were all just like, what? Like, he never told us that. Like, he was just a, he just did it. He didn't need recognition. Right. It was just the right thing to do. And he wanted to do that. And his passion in life, as is, as was Grams, was music. And he absolutely lived for it. I mean, he was part of bands growing up with his best friends from high school.

He created a band with guys that he met on Craigslist from in Washington. He's like, I need friends. I need band friends. They created a band. And he just always was so heavily involved in music. And it just was the light of his life. So in the spirit of Ian and Graham and the holiday season, we really wanted to kind of keep that going. So what I decided to do is, as always, we post like a little something for the

episode on Instagram, which we will do. But I'm going to create a separate post on Instagram. And I'm sorry, I can only do this through Instagram the way that it's going to end up being. But it's going to be of Ian and some pictures of him playing, some videos of him playing. And in the caption, I'll write a little blurb about him. But I really want to give away some, I want to give the gift of music like Ian did in honor of him. So what I'm going to do is on behalf of my. myself, Cassie and the podcast, his mother and sister, and his best friends from high school who created his first band that he played with, we're going to give away four $200 gift certificates to Guitar Center. And to enter, if you need them, you're in need, you know someone who could

benefit from this, someone who really loves music, maybe doesn't have the means to get involved right now. You can enter by commenting on the post, and it'll be live for a week. I'll do a random generator. I'm not picking. I'm not picking stories. I can't. I don't have that wherewithal like Ian did, but it'll be live on Monday and I will close it out on Christmas Eve. And the four people that are randomly chosen, I will DM on Christmas Eve and I'll get your information as to where to send those gift certificates to. So I hope that that brings a little smile to everyone's faces. Please enter. Like I said, if you're in need and it's all coming from Ian. I mean, he inspired all of that. I would have never thought

to do that unless it was because of him. So yeah, I think it's a really beautiful thing to do before the holidays. And I think that he would be really happy to know that you're doing this for him. Yeah. So I hope everyone enjoyed Grand Parsons story. Look up the flying burrito brothers. I'm telling you it's kind of a weird, like the what is it cosmic American music. It is different for sure. But it's like very country twangy with a little bit of rock and roll and you can definitely tell like the different musical influences he had throughout his life he definitely molded into the sound of his band and his legacy now so if you're ever in the mood for a little bit of gram you can look him up on YouTube or listen to his music online and yeah we hope you have a wonderful Christmas right

because the next episode isn't going to be till after the holidays yeah i think no we have one that'll come out the day after Christmas. So, oh, okay, cool. Enjoy your holidays, everybody. We'll certainly be in contact via social media before then. But I guess, in the meantime, enjoy the view. But watch your back. Bye, everyone.

Bye. Thank you for joining us again this week. If you have a trail tale you'd like to share, send us an email at npadstories at gmail.com. Follow us on Instagram and Facebook at National Park After Dark and on Twitter at NPAD podcast. Become an outsider by joining our Patreon where you'll gain access to monthly bonus stories and exclusive content. And remember, when you support our partners, you're supporting our show. To access our special discount codes along with source information from today's episode, check out the show notes. For information on the show, to shop our merch store, sign up for our newsletter and more.

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