National Park After Dark - Happy Birthday National Park Service, Not Everyone Loves You!

Episode Date: August 25, 2025

Today marks the NPS’s 109th birthday! In celebration (?) we pulled a few less than enthusiastic 1 star reviews of some of our favorite places. A few are straight up silly, some are maddening and others prove that just because National Parks are for everyone, not everyone are for National Parks.All reviews found on YelpFor a full list of our sources, visit http://npadpodcast.com/episodesFor the latest NPAD updates, group travel details, merch and more, follow us on npadpodcast.com and our socials at:Instagram: @‌nationalparkafterdarkTikTok: @‌nationalparkafterdarkSupport the show by becoming an Outsider and receive ad free listening, bonus content and more on Patreon or Apple Podcasts. Want to see our faces? Catch full episodes on our YouTube Page!Thank you to the week’s partners!Hello Fresh: Use our link to get up to 10 FREE meals and a free item for life.Smalls: For a limited time only, get 60% off your first order PLUS free shipping when you head to Smalls.com/npad.Blueland: Use our link to get 15% off your first order.Rocket Money: Use our link to get started saving. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, everyone, and welcome back to National Park After Dark. I'm Danielle. I'm Cassie, and we're so excited to have you here today because this is kind of a special episode. Yeah, if you're listening, I don't know how many people truly listen on release day, but if you are, it's August 20. And it is the National Park Service's 109th birthday. Wow, happy birthday. Happy birthday.

I'm not going to do the whole thing. That would be so annoying. Yeah, so it's their birthday. And we decided to celebrate in kind of a weird way. It's going to be fun. And we've never done. Maybe the opposite of a celebration. Yeah.

It's like we're actually going to drag you. We're actually going to poke fun at the parks themselves because we just thought that that would be a fun way to celebrate. Yeah. And I've said it before. I'll say it again. I love light bullying. It's a love language. So that's what we're doing.

And it's not coming directly from us. We're just the messengers. Okay. So what we're doing today is I kind of got some inspiration from two places. I love the podcast, Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet. And if you are a, and that's why we drink listener like I am, M and Christine, they do a great job with that podcast. But Christine has another podcast with her brother where they, every episode, episode, they share one-star reviews of everything, like anything and everything. It could be like

snow removal services or like candy canes or- And people are unhinged. And it's just so entertaining and fun. So they have, if you're into this type of stuff, they're the one-star connoisseurs over there. And then of course, for national park lovers, everyone is pretty much, I think at this point, familiar with Amber Shares works, which is subpar parks and her book series. Her series is so funny and so, so original to put that together with her illustrations, too, of the one-star reviews of National Parks. And it's just so funny, it's like, all it was was rocks. I was talking about Acadia or Badlands or something.

It's like, yeah, that's kind of the point. Yeah. So because of all that and our love for making fun of things, we are going to, going to read some of the one-star reviews that we have found for some of the national parks on your birthday. Yeah. So happy birthday, National Park Service. This is what everyone thinks of you. Yeah, not everyone. But this is just a fun laid-back episode. I'd love to hear if people are listening if you've ever left a bad review for a national park. And I want to know what it was for. Yeah. And just as kind of a, okay, before we begin, we are very aware.

that especially going through these. So we filtered through Yelp. We kind of just honed in on there. Of course, you can find reviews on like TripAdvisor and Google reviews. And there's a bunch of different platforms that you can find reviews on. But we just stuck with Yelp. And especially after there's just been this rise of poking fun at one star reviews and things like that, you can tell when reviewers will intentionally try and poke the bear and just be like.

I didn't even know people did that. That's actually kind of like there's a ton of one star reviews just. so people will read them. Yeah, just to kind of like incite an argument or get attention or it's so over the top, you know it's fake type of thing. And those, yeah, so those have tended to pop up more in recent years. So with the exception of one or two of these, and we'll read the date of when they were posted, we tried to go far back to get like true negative experiences. And just see what people are talking about. You know, what's the word on street of with some of these parks. So welcome to this unhinged episode of one-star reviews.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Let's, okay, Yosemite's first. Okay. Let's hear it. Okay. So this is for Yosemite National Park and the review was by Marcus C. in, and this is the exception, December 2024. This is the most recent one that we have. This park is vast. I think the park planners should have made more of an effort to have the attractions closer to each other. We toured the southern part of the park, and while the big gristled tree was neat and Stephen Colbert's peak was impressive, they are really far apart. Perhaps the next time the park is renovated, the old gristle tree can be moved closer, question mark.

The Colbert's range has some nice waterfalls that could be developed a little more. Perhaps adding a small water park would be good. An area to ride tubes and cool off after a hot day, question mark. Another issue was Wi-Fi. It seems like with all of these hills, some cell towers and Wi-Fi could be added throughout. This would also help with the National Park. service app, while you can download the park ahead of your visit, it would be good if you had Wi-Fi, you wouldn't need to. And the trails seem pretty dusty in the summer. Perhaps the trails could be

laid down with some asphalt, question mark. The roads are in great shape, but at times the speed limit is 20 and 30 miles an hour. It seems as if the speed limit was raised to 65, patrons can move through the park quicker. This one feels almost like it could be fake because, for sure, rage bait, right? Rage bait. Let's put asphalt throughout the whole point. park and could you cut down some trees for some Wi-Fi towers? And also, with this review, what I thought was really funny is that I couldn't find what they were talking about, the grisle tree and Stephen Colbert's peak. I'm like, Stephen Colbert is a talk show host. I don't know if he has a peak named after him in Yosemite, but I looked and I couldn't find anything. So I think that they were

talking about the grizzly giant and cathedral peak. And the grizzly giant is the oldest tree in the Mariposa Grove. It's actually about 3,000 years old, which is... And it's a big tourist attraction, so you would think perhaps he went there. He would have visited there. Yeah. People go there a lot to see this tree. And it's huge. It's massive. It's really cool. And then also, Cathedral Peak is in part of the Cathedral Range in the Sierra Nevada's, which is in Yosemite as well. So I think he was talking about that. And the Cathedral Peak is this peak that, this peak that raises about 1,500 feet above the bridge line. So it's huge. And I think he was talking about that. And kind of, to be fair, on his side, I googled how far apart they were. And they are two hours and

20 minutes according to Google apart from each other. So maybe he's onto something. Maybe the park should pick up that tree and- And move it. So it's more convenient for us. That 3,000-year-old tree that's been surviving there, it would be nice if it was in a more convenient location. Yeah, I think. For people who want to see. specifically for people who want to see cathedral peak and that tree in the same visit. Yeah. Like I want to get out of the car one time. And that's it. And then I want to walk on asphalt for the rest of my duration of my outdoor experience. Yeah. And okay. So to be fair, just starting off with this one, I also think it might be fake. But I picked it because it brought up

a lot of points that people really truly have. And that's about Wi-Fi is a big one. We see a lot of articles about should we or shouldn't we install like Starlink and other type of things in remote areas specifically within national parks. And there's an argument on both sides for that. So that's like a very valid concern that people do have and a complaint that a lot of people have. So he touched on that. He touched on the speed limit. And we see over and over people speeding and killing wildlife in parks. 65 is wild though. I know. And that's what I'm like, Okay. This is...

Yeah. On those windy roads or in the main... Of a cliff or you're just in the main valley where there's tons of bikers and people and you're just going 65. Yeah. No. Scary. That would not end well at all.

So there was that, the Wi-Fi speeding, trail maintenance. I mean, of course, he's like, can you put asphalt or whatever? Because they're dusty. Trail maintenance is a big thing that people complain about. And it goes all the way to the top because, I mean, we talk about. because, I mean, we talk about, well, you can't have your trails maintained if you cut funding. And, you know, there's a lot of other things in there. But anyway, so that was kind of just like one to start off.

That was like, okay. And here we go. This episode is brought to you by Prime. Obsession is in session. And this summer, Prime originals have everything you want. Steamy romances, irresistible love stories, and the book to screen favorites you've already read twice. Off campus, L. Every year after, the love hypothesis, Sterling Point, and more.

Slow burns, second chances, chemistry you can feel through the screen. Your next obsession is waiting. Watch only on Prime. Well, our next one is in Yellowstone National Park. This review is by Khalil G in May of 2013, and they wrote, I know what I'm writing is committing sacrilege, but I hated Yellowstone. I took my kids and I want to tell you that I am not some nature-hating guy. I take my kids hiking. I rock climb. The problem with the place is that it is dull.

Yellowstone is on a caldera. A caldera is a volcano that blew up and left a crater. The dirt from this is a poor quality. The only tree that grows is this ugly thing called a lone pine. No flowers to speak of grow here. The place is huge and traffic and parking is super painful. The last thing is once you see water come out of the ground once you're good. But it's all the same. The Grand Canyon of Yellowstone is okay. But when we were there, there were wildfires from California that left a thick layer of smoke. And you could barely see the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone. I think that people don't want to say that they don't like the place. When we were there, you would have 50 cars pulled over so people could take turns looking at a bear through a large spotting scope. The thing was 1,000 yards away. If you are in the area for some reason, it is worth dropping pie. Don't spend a lot of money just to go to Yellowstone.

It's not worth it. I'm literally clutch. If I had pearls on right now, I just not. noticed my hand has been at my throat this whole time. I'm like, oh my God. Yeah, that is sacrilege. And the whole vibe of this, just the beginning, it gives the same energy of like, not to be a bitch, but.

It's like, I rock climb and I hate it here. It's like, I love the outdoors, but I hate it. To be fair, it's not really a rock climbing mecca. Yeah, but that's not, that's not even involved in this conversation at all. I mean, he does have a point that there are a lot, there is a little traffic there. But it's so funny. It's like I hated Yellowstone. It's dull. It's dull and boring and like do not. To actively say, don't waste your time coming here. But if you happen to be in the area, who just happens to be in that area? Yellowstone. Like it's like in the middle of nowhere. It's just so funny. And just like, I mean, it takes all kinds of kinds and everyone has different preferences. But this is like one of the most popular parks in the entire world, the first national park in the entire world. And here he is. like, not for me. Well, it's funny because right after that one is a review by Tom Bee in July of 2017,

who agreed with him because he said, it's a tourist trap, don't go there. Forest is scraggly and burnt. Prices are outrageous. Not worth it for the steam vents, mud pots, geysers. Every other national park is more scenic. Sinclair has a monopoly in the park. They charged me $270 for a 20 mile tow when my alternator quit. The service to replace it at some.

Sinclair was over $550 and took three days. And then when I drove away after 10 miles, I realized my battery was dying. It was downhill mostly to the next Sinclair. So I got the next so-called mechanic to fix it after barely making it. Everything about it sucked. Okay, it sounds like you have a ripe with Sinclair. Not the park. But one-star review on the Yellowstone National Park.

It's taking the brunt for this man. issue with his truck. Well, it's just so funny. It's like, don't go there. Scragly burnt, not worth it for the steam vents. And I wrote down a couple of things about Yellowstone because I just think it's so funny. So I'm being like, ah, it sucks. It's like, oh, the geological wonder that is Yellowstone.

Of the world. It's like, you mean the very first national park that sparked a global conservation movement. In the very same. Everything about it sucks. And I wrote down because I was looking at. it up just the little sub-fun facts is that Yellowstone protects one of the last nearly intact ecosystems in the temperate world preserving vast forest, rivers, canyons, and meadows. It spans over 3,400 square miles across Wyoming, Montana, and Idaho, and of course, we all know it sits

on top of the super volcano. That powers half of the world's geysers and countless hot springs. So half of the entire planet's geysers are sitting inside Yellowstone National Park. But it sucked. But once you've one, you've seen them all. Yeah, once you've seen one water spout. Who cares? Who cares? You've seen it. Not me. Don't go there. I wish we didn't go just now. And he had to look through a spotted lens to see a grizzly when they should be close to the road so you can see them better. Within arms reaches, my preferred. I agree. Yeah. So that's our takes on Yellowstone. Okay. Right. Okay. Let's move on. Okay, so I had to do this one next because I think it gets the most crap within like the 63 main national parks.

And maybe rightfully so. We'll see. We don't have personal experience there. So I hate to. I've seen this one from afar. I haven't driven by it. I haven't been like technically in the park, but I've driven right by it. Okay.

Okay. So we're speaking of none other than Gateway Arch National Park. The one and only. The one and only, worldwide phenomenon. And this review is by Carolina S from August of 2020. Wow. Just wow. Going to the arch was definitely an experience.

Would I characterize it as a mistake? No. The real mistake was this huge, godforsaken arch being built in the first place. This is not a shape that should exist on earth. It's just like, it's an arch. It's an arch. What about arch? Which naturally occur in Elf's.

Okay, whatever. Getting there was nearly impossible, with the directions taking us straight out of St. Louis. Okay. Maybe the directions were trying to do us a favor because I wish we would have stayed out. Whatever you do, do not enter the museum. It is a den of propaganda trying to convince you that the shape is physically correct. She's really hung up on this arch. She really does not like arches.

Also, pictures cost $25, which is practically highway robbery, but listen to this. And this is all-in-all-capitals. So I'm emphasizing this for a reason. They printed the pictures before you say you want them. A federally owned national park being this unsustainable is truly sickening and heartbreaking in more ways than one. Also, this is my favorite part. Okay.

Also, Missouri is too long. She's after the whole state. She's furious. Okay. And I only pulled one, but let me just tell you, people are very upset with this national park. People hate arches. And mostly, it seems like people are really upset with the cramped quarters in the elevator going up. Really? Yes. Oh, these are like the reviews you saw when you were looking through it.

I'm like, how should I pick? You know, like the elevators, really? Yeah, the elevators and the cramped quarters and some of them, it reminded me flashback. to when we are on, I forget what we were talking about. I think it was on a trail tales about elevator, like near death experiences or whatever. Yeah. And there was quite a few that they were really upset because the elevator stopped functioning and they were just all stuck in it for like hours.

Multiple people throughout multiple years. So there's that too to be aware of, I guess. I don't know. Well, I mean, I kind of get people's gripe with arches and I have not been there. I'm sure that there's a lot more. Wait, arches. Sorry, arches. I'm hung up on arches now. Gateway arch. I haven't been to Gateway Arch. I've just seen it from afar. But the whole point of Gateway Arch from my understanding is that it is this giant memorial in commemoration of the westward expansion, which we know was the colonization of the West, which we also know was the murder of thousands and thousands of indigenous people. And now we have this giant arch in the middle of Missouri. So I, maybe there's some more to that national. Park from, but from my understanding that a lot of it, I mean, I know it's a largely based,

it's largely a history based park, but it is kind of a else to it. There's, yeah. And I was looking, I looked up some facts about it just because I haven't been there. So it's 630 feet tall. It's a stainless steel monument and it was completed in 1965, but it was built on land through controversial urban renewal projects. The arch actually came out a cost of displacing thousands of residents and demolishing historic riverfront buildings. So to put this in place, thousands of people lost their homes, which is kind of a theme. And it is kind of a theme in national parks. First with indigenous communities, of course, and then just people losing their ranches and their homes that are on these preserved lands. Yeah. Well, I mean, again, we've never been.

there. It's just Carolina was really... I mean, her gripe with arches is something to be studied. Does anyone else have a gripe with the shape of an arch? If there's one thing, I can't stand in this world. It's an arch. I'm going to rip the picture of my arch right there off the wall. I can't even stand to look at it. As you should. I'll never look at an arch the same. Yeah. Next one is not a national park. It's a national monument, and I chose it because it's one of my favorite places. And I just had to see what was going on over there. This is a review by Ryan D. from September of 2019. And it says, too cloudy and the boat was a raft instead of a pontoon.

Very disappointing and ruined the afternoon for our whole party. Should have visited before 1980 when the whole thing was still there. Rainier was all right, though. Very beautiful mountain. Also, lots of turtles in the lake. Look out. One star. I should have rewineded time.

I should have massive natural disaster. You know, to be fair, you probably should have. It seemed like it was pretty cool when it had its full talk. Like my mistake, I wasn't conceived yet. Yeah, literally for us. But also, the eruption site is kind of what makes it so cool. We went there. I know.

And you took me, what is it called the? Harry Truman's. Harry Truman Trail or ledge. Yeah, we did that and it was incredible. I mean, the park is so beautiful. Seeing the huge missing top of a mountain is an experience. That was really cool as well. Ryan couldn't see it because it was cloudy.

Yeah. That is disappointing. It is upsetting when the weather does that. Yeah. Yeah. But Mount St. Helens is really cool because I'm like, I wrote all these redeeming qualities of Mount St. for people.

So that 1980 eruption has been the most studied volcanic event in terms of ecological response, in part because the area was not completely destroyed. So it's actually still very highly researched because there aren't a lot of places where you can still see the full impacts of an eruption because they destroy a lot and there's so much still intact there. Well, and you're seeing this like, you're also seeing in real time, like this natural regeneration of the landscape. And that's like part of the magic of the area.

Of course, the eruption was devastating and it impacted a lot of people and many people lost their lives and it was really scary. But the aftermath of it is something to kind of lean into and just be like, what can we learn from this? How does the landscape recover? Of course, we can kind of go back in time to these historic eruptions from historical text and then looking at the landscape in present day and kind of putting the pieces together. But here we have the before during and after that we have this opportunity to.

to look at. Well, that's where the concept of biological legacies has come from because of this eruption. They're the survivors of the eruption. And there are all these fauna and flora that have come back after the eruption because it is estimated that 7,000 larger mammals died. And some were completely wiped out. But some came back. The white horn sheep is a big one that has come back. And their population has bounced back even though almost every single one of them was decimated. But also there's a lot of flora that has come back after the eruption and there are known as these survivor species that they're studying because they can come back from something as horrific as an as an eruption.

Yeah. But if it's cloudy, you won't see it. So you might as well. No, yeah. So that sucks. Mount Rainier's all right though from what I hear. Yeah. That's what I hear too.

Well, our next one. Sorry. Hold on. I just wanted to look up. I didn't know what a white horned sheep was. Did they say white horn sheep? I didn't mean that. So did you mean mountain goat or gill sheep?

Wait, well I'm like, fine dumb. They meant a mountain goat. Yeah, the mountain goats are coming back. Okay. Not the white horn sheep. That would be a breakthrough. They were created during the 19. Little known fact.

Well, our next one is from Glacier National Park, which we were just visiting. And the review is from Joseph. July 2017, one star. I love camping in nature. My wife is from Colorado and we live in Montana. So we've done a fair amount of camping in both Montana and Colorado. After staying at two medicine campground in East Glacier, I would be unlikely to return to glacier for the following. And he outlines them for us. There were a number of rangers who exerted the most control I've ever experienced at any camping trip. Just in numbers, there were probably one ranger for every three campers. was an extreme number of rules which the large geriatric community helped the rangers viciously enforce.

The large geriatric community. Just picturing a bunch of like retired like grandma and grandpa's like yelling at people for littering, which I am here for also. Luckily, they gave one warning for each violation so I never ended up with a ticket. I did see several people end up with a hundred and fifty tickets. My daughter was told she couldn't take a rock from next to the lake. There were many rules on where we could go, where our dog could go, etc. The park rangers reminded me of TSA at airports. Serious power trip. I'm sorry you have a dog. They don't want to keep anyone safe. They're actually just do it for, yeah, wielding power. Yes. Rangers even had a program using dogs to chase deer and wildlife away from camp areas. Needless to say, we saw no animals other than birds and one mountain go

at Logan Pass, the goat had a huge tracking collar placed by the forestry, very artificial. Rangers made everyone clear the area from the mountain goat, ruining that experience also. Any private campground would be nicer and more natural. Now, I do hope Trump lets the national parks be managed by a private company. Oh, that is. That's a statement. Oh my God, they said that in 2017. I guess it was a conversation then, too.

Yeah. In summary, Glacier has postcard views. landscape, but that's all it offers. If you want to see beautiful landscapes, this is for you. If you want to get out and experience nature and wildlife, this isn't for you and you will have the forestry service against you. Me being from Montana, I would drive there again for a day or so. Never again would I camp at glacier, nor would I spend more than a day or two at glacier, nor would I recommend glacier to anyone under 70 years old. It's really a place for people from very big cities to go and see from buses.

Okay. What? First and foremost, yes, they control where your dog goes. There's grizzlies there. No, there's no wildlife other than a radio collared mountain goat. Yeah, no wildlife. It's so funny because our experience in Glacier is so different. So different.

We met the best people. We were in wildlife. We saw a ton of it everywhere. We were in the back country. You know, I don't know. It seems like this person needs some. Leave No Trace principles reintroduced into their, or introduced for the first time into their mind.

I think this one is interesting because, of course, this is from July of 2017, so a number of years ago now, but they're complaining that there's too much park staff. And now a lot of reviews, if you go on now, it's people complaining that there's no park staff. Really? Yeah. That's sad. A lot of the newer reviews that I was trying to avoid.

Yeah. But yeah, a lot of, there's a lot of themes, and I almost wrote them down just like bullet point themes, but I feel like we're going to get a taste and feel for them regardless. But yeah, one of the themes as of the last like year or two has been that things are dirty. They can't find any help. There's no staff anywhere. They like they have no resources and they feel like they're just off on their own and there's no support. Well, that's what happens when the parks get defunded. And it just goes to show whether it's this. this particular complaint or others, which we'll get to. But it's like, you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. You know, like, no one is ever going to be completely happy with what's going on. Like, you're always going to have someone upset. But it also was reflective of the times, you know, and what we're seeing within the park service and how it impacts visitor. It's very fitting that I'm wearing our protect our parks. Oh, yeah, look at that. sweatshirt today, which was not planned. It's just, it's the highest 66 at my house today, and it's the middle of August, which is really upsetting. It's like a taste of fall.

Yeah, zero out of five stars for Vermont. Vermont. It sucks. Okay. All right. Well, yep, so leaving glacier, I guess, behind. Don't go there ever. Unless you're elderly. Unless you're over 70, which. And you want to see it from a bus or something. We had a wildflower flower guide who was 78 and she trucked it up to the swift current lookout and to the Granite Park Shillay. So I highly encourage people over 70 as well. Yeah. But also people younger than 70. Well, Joseph is from Montana.

Not to be a bitch, but, you know, he hates closure. Okay. Gettysburg National Battlefield. Here we go. Review by Anna L. in February of 2015. Over 10 years ago now. Boring. First off, it was nothing like the movie.

All I saw were a bunch of fields and rocks. All the tourist shops, bars, and hotels in the area kept saying how I should check this place out. I kept getting confused with all the plaques and monuments. Who was fighting who? I have no idea. The abandoned canyons looks tacky. That's like elementary school. We got to take it back, Anna.

Go on back. Go on back to third grade. The abandoned canons look tacky. I give this one star for the overweight character actor in the square. That's about it. Yon. Someone. End of that review.

Oh, my God. That's mean also to pull. Yeah. To say one person. Your body shaming first off. Second of off. Second of off. People are going to give you one star.

Give me one star for my speech today. I'm unhinged. It's Monday morning. we don't record on Monday mornings. Give us a break. Give us a break. Or one star, whatever you prefer. Yeah.

Yeah. I haven't been to Gettysburg, but it's certainly on our list. We've done a few episodes on it. I mean, she does have a point about being confused about all the monuments because I looked it up and the park does have over 1,300 monuments and plaques commemorating the soldiers of the events of the Battle of Gettysburg. So, Anna, if you are listening for some reason. reason that was the Civil War and it was against, uh, we were against the unions.

Yeah, against each other. It was a war here and it was against the Union soldiers and the Confederate soldiers, the North and the South. And just as a basic, just as a basic. A lot of it was surrounding the abolishment of slavery, but it also had a lot to do with the economy as well. Uh, the Confederate soldiers lost, the Union soldiers won. And here we are today. And here we are today. And Gettysburg was the bloodiest battle of them all. It was three days. Maybe she learned that, though, if she did in fact read any of the plaques, which it doesn't like it. Well, here's the thing. I understand that that's not really for everyone. I have a couple people that come to the top of my mind, uh, right off the bat, love them dearly. But they hate a museum. They hate plaques. They get overwhelmed with

book titles. They don't like looking at words. Like it's too much and they get overwhelmed. They'd rather be doing something else. And that's totally fine. It like doesn't hold their attention in the same way that other activities do and things like that. So you can say it's boring and it's not for you and that's fine. But it's just, it's funny the way that she phrased it. Just started out boring. Boring. And also just like the aband. And in cannons look tacky. It's like they're real cannons. Like it's, they're historic artifacts.

But yeah, so anyway, I thought that was funny. The decor just wasn't doing it. It wasn't all back then. No. I did see it reminded me when she was listing the number, or you just said the numbers of plaques and stuff. Yeah. There was a, I don't, we have a TikTok, but we don't really utilize it.

And I was on it. So I don't like follow anyone. I just see something. And I'm like, oh, that's kind of cool. it's lost to the abyss forever. But there's this woman, and I think she was on a mission to read every single plaque and informational signage and board and stuff in the Smithsonian. Oh, wow. And just like record how long it would truly take if you were to stop and read every little piece of signage and information about every single piece that they have in the

Smithsonian. And the last time I saw she was at like six months. Oh, wow. So she's committing to it, for sure. That's amazing. Yeah. So I thought that was really interesting. That is. Yeah. No one's got the time to read. No one's expecting you to read all the plaques, but no. Definitely not. But I do kind of wonder if this person would have had more fun if they did it kind of your way of how you would visit Gettysburg, because I know how you would visit Gettysburg. And you would be going on a ghost tour. Oh, yeah. And I wonder if something like that would have piqued her interest. I feel like she wouldn't have used the word. I feel like she just explored it the wrong way for her. And instead, if they had done a ghost tour and gotten haunted and heard those tacky cannons,

if you heard some ghost cannon fire, might have been a little bit more interesting. Yeah, but she also picked on the reenactor. It's true. I'm not talking about reenactors, though. I'm talking about the real thing, the real old spirits that are there. Oh, that's true. She's a lost cause. Let's move on.

I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but you might be on to something. All right. So the next park review, one star, is Lassen Volcanic National Park. Don't go there. According to Eric M. in May of 2013. They said this park is beautiful, but it is closed about six months of the year due to horrible rangers who block the roads. I am writing this in the middle of May and there has been nothing but hot weather for months, but they still have the roads closed. The claim that it's due to snow, but I walk for miles past their little roadblocks and there was nothing but sunshine and dry roads.

These people are horrible for keeping the world out of the park for no reason. Shasta is just 30 minutes away and even has a higher altitude, but it's open all year round, but not Lassen. They have dry roads, sunshine, and 80-degree weather, but they choose to block people from driving. Five stars for the park minus 10 stars for the staff and decision-makers. So this person said, the rules don't apply to me and just went through the blockades. Just walked. We'll see about that. We'll see about that.

We'll see if this is necessary. And I'm sure they just didn't walk far enough to get to the point where there was still a ton of snow. Yeah. I mean, we know. And they just block it at a certain point. Yeah, we know so many parks have closures all the time. I mean, the National Park Service literally says, before you come here, please do your research. search, we post closures in real time and what in different events and things to know on our

website. And another theme, this is another theme, the amount of reviews that people had. And this was especially during, and I was like kind of doing the calculations in my mind of like, what was going on during this like span of time that all these influx of reviews are coming in with the same theme. And around COVID, the closures of the park or ticketed or time reservations. And, and entries, oh, people were pissed. People were pissed because they're like, I just drove 5,000 miles. I just drove like you should have planned a little bit of it. First of all, how did you drive five thousand miles to get here? That's crazy. But like, or I drove, you know, X amount of days to get here. I planned my whole vacation around this. And I pull up just to realize that the park is closed.

Or I didn't plan very well. If you planned your entire vacation around this, but you didn't see that. It's like this is 2020. Granted COVID peak 2020, 2020, 2021, et cetera. The internet exists. And it's very easy to Google or to call what's going on. And I don't know. Definitely shown up places and I didn't plan. I get it because I've totally done it. I've showed up at places. I didn't look ahead. I got there. And then it was like, all right, got to, this is my bad. Got to switch it up. I mean, I could have looked it up. And I think, everyone has done it where we show up somewhere and we didn't look it up enough. And it's disappointing, yes, but to leave a one-star review for your own kind of mistake. Can I tell you a story?

Yeah. That was my fault. I did not leave a, I've never left a one-star review for anything. You have. Okay, wait, hold that because I actually do want to hear that. But this was my own fault. And I was young and so dumb. But I had this brilliant idea. I had this ex-boyfriend. who loved cheeseburgers, loved. Interesting passion. He was a cheeseburger. Like if he was what he ate, he would be a cheeseburger or hamburger, whatever. So I had the idea, too, for like a fun date experience, was I wanted to surprise him and

bring him to, and I forget what it's called. I could easily Google it. It's 2025 Google exists. But it's a place in Connecticut that is renowned for being like the, like, the, like, their restaurant or whatever was like the birthplace of the American cheeseburger or hamburger. Like it can be all traced back to this location. That's their shtick, right? It's like this is where the cheeseburger was invented here or whatever.

And they still use all the old like original equipment from like over 100 years ago. And it's like an experience and it's this whole thing and whatever. Okay. Yes. Great. So I was like hyping it up so so good. I'm like, you'll never guess what we're doing. Who would guess that?

You know? I'm like, you just need to pack a bag. We're going to go overnight somewhere, whatever. We go all the way to Connecticut, walk up. I'm ready for a big reveal. I'm like, don't eat. Don't eat. Like, come on an empty tummy.

Walk around the corner. Place is like a ghost town. I'm like, what the hell? They were closed like Monday and Tuesdays. And you just didn't look at it. Didn't look. Didn't look at all. Like, you know what?

We're actually just going to go to a burger restaurant. We're actually going to go to Burger King. Yeah, I don't even, I actually don't remember what we did. Like, I just remember that portion of it because it was like the biggest drop of the ball on my end ever. Like, who the hell doesn't look? I just assumed, I'm like, it's a weekday. Why would they not be open on a weekday? You'll live, you learn.

Yeah, live, you learn. I've never been back. Maybe that when you tell your story, I'm going to look up the name of this place, actually. Please tell me your one-star review. My one-star review. I've probably told you this before. I don't know if I told you I left a review, but I've probably told you the story is it was a few years ago. I had just bought my truck that I have and it came with snow tires. It came with studded snow tires on it, but I bought it at the end of winter. So it was probably like three months later. I had to two or three months later, I had to switch out the tires and I went to this tire place. And I packed up my tire. I had bought tires that I was bringing to them to put on. And I put them in the back of my truck. And I have one of those truck covers.

It's a hard truck cover. They're pretty expensive. It came with the truck. Itself, I didn't buy it. But it came with the truck itself. And they take my truck. I get it back. The back cover is filled with my old tires.

It's rolled or not rolled because it's a hard one, but it's folded up. And I drive home. everything's good tires are great whatever i get home and i'm unloading the tires and i open my the truck cover and there's a piece and i know what it was actually it was from my peloton um one of those screws one of the screw pieces at the very bottom um of the bike that keep it stable i had been looking for it and i guess it was in the bed of my truck they had folded it onto it and they punctured my cover and there was a big hole in it and i mean this is a big hole in it and i mean this is brand new. I've had it for two months. Yeah. And I pull it out. There's a big hole in it. And now it's

not waterproof anymore, which is obviously a problem. And I called them. And I was like, hey, I just wanted to call and let you guys know, you guys put a hole in my cover. And it was a little piece that was in the back of my truck. I would love to like figure out how we can get this fixed. I just bought this truck. And he was like, okay, just come back down. And I was like, okay. So I was being really nice. I came back down and I got there and I was like this is the piece this is where it was he comes out with like three other people and they're like looking at it I'm like I'm sure it wasn't on purpose but I just bought this truck and this pretty I looked it up and it's pretty expensive to fix it was like $500 to fix the piece that he that they broke and he comes out and he's like my guys didn't

do this he's like that was in it before you got here and I was like no no it wasn't I know it wasn't. Actually, I think I messed up the story a little bit because I don't, I'm remembering now that I knew it wasn't because I had come and my whole, the whole back of my truck was actually folded down. So there couldn't have been a way I punctured it before. Right. Okay. So just skip that part at the beginning where I said that I had folded it before I got there because I hadn't. And I was like, no, there's no way I could have done this. All I did was go home and open it and it was punctured and this piece was stuck in between it. And he He was like, you're lying. You're trying to get money out of me. You're just a liar. And he's like, I have cameras here that are going to prove. You're a liar. And he starts yelling at me, full on yelling at me.

And I was just like, I don't care when people yell at me. I actually, like, triggers something in me to become extremely vindictive. Okay. And calm. I just, as soon as someone starts yelling at me, I'm like, okay, I'm going to prove my point. And I'm going to be. super calm. And so I was like, all right, I would like to talk to your manager. He's like, I am the manager, blah, blah, blah. Like, all right, well, I would like to see your camera footage.

And I'm just sitting there. I was like, I'm not leaving until this is solved now because I was being really nice. And he's full on yelling at me, calling me a liar over and over again, telling me I'm just out for money that I punctured it myself and now I wanted them to pay for it, all this stuff. And I was like, all right, I'd like to see the camera footage, blah, blah, blah. And he's like, well, I'm busy now. And he makes me call there. And he makes me call there. insurance, whatever. So I call their insurance, people tell them what happened. They look over the footage and there's clear footage of them puncturing my cover. It's like, well, there it is. Well, there it is. Yeah. And it was just like, so I left them one star. I was like, it was like,

that was so unprofessional. To have a grown man screaming in my face, calling me a liar, trying to steal money from them. Yeah, like, it wasn't about the puncture. It was an accident. Right. It didn't matter. happen and things should happen, you know, but it's like, you can't treat people like that, you know? No. Yeah. So I left them one star because I, and it was because I was a woman.

If I, if Al went and did that, there's no way he would have talked to him like that. Like he was much taller than me. I remember he was, he like made himself taller and was staring down at me, like with his hands on his hip calling me a liar and like pointing at me, like trying to make me feel small. But that doesn't work on me. So, yeah. And you're like, well, joke. On you. As soon as people start yelling at me, I'm just like, okay, I've never been more calm in my life. You're actually crazy. And that's a superpower because I am not like that. But before we move on, I got to say, I found it. This restaurant. It's called Louis Lunch. And it's such a cute little place. It's like, wow, I wish it was open when I was there. Louis Lunch is a hamburger restaurant in New Haven, Connecticut, which claims to be the first restaurant to serve hamburgers and the oldest continuously operated hamburger restaurant.

in the United States. It was opened as a small lunch wagon in 1895 and was one of the first places in the U.S. to serve steak sandwiches. I wonder if your ex-boyfriend ever made it there. No. My ex-boyfriend. Even after you. Probably as a voodoo doll of me and lit me on fire. So I don't think he's returned. But anyway, yeah. So it says that like the hamburger there was created in 1900 and in 1917 they moved into the square brick building that I tried to go to. Like they started in a wagon. Then in 1917 created the little stone building that I was trying. One two.

But it's cool because they serve hamburgers on toast. And my dad used to do that instead of hamburger buns. Oh, interesting. Yeah. So anyway, okay. We're talking about national parks. Yeah. Well, linking back into Erica's review of Lassen Volcanic and why it was closed.

Oh, one all over their website for the road. It says that they're closed that time of year. But also, I looked it up. And every year, this highway, Highway 89 through Lassen Volcanic, also known as the park highway, gets buried under as much snow as 40 feet. And this 30-mile route crosses avalanche-prone slope. with drops of up to 2,000 feet. So that is why it is closed because there's over 40 feet of snow in avalanche terrain on this specific road. No, not according to Erica. In May, but Erica of all die. Of course. It's there till July. Yeah, no, it was spring and summer and sunshine.

Google what it's like to die in an avalanche and you will respect these rangers and their rules a little bit more. Yeah. Okay, moving on. This one is for Crater Lake National Park. And the review was, this is the only two-star review that was pulled. However, you can tell me if it feels different than a one-star. Okay. Okay. It's by Aaron H from June of 2012. Snore, all capitals. I visited once with my dad when I was a kid, and having visited recently, it's no wonder that it took 20 years for me to return. Sure, sure. If you live in an area devoid of natural wonders, your mind will be blown. But here in the Pacific Northwest, where there is no shortage of such things, something has to be much more grand than blue water in a big hole. Once you've taken a good long look at this lake, 10 minutes, and

snapped a few photos, you're done. You can peruse the gift shop for some Oregon souvenirs, but really, that's it. The entrance fee is $10 and good for seven days. Seven. A whole week. What are you going to do with a ticket to Crater Lake that's good for seven days. That's right. Throw it away. Oop. Crater Lake. That's rough. That's rough. Again, this person is admitting that it's a natural wonder and it's amazing, but not really. I thought they said, oh yeah. No, she said if you live in a, I guess they are saying that devoid of natural wonders, your mind will be blown. There, it feels like they, they're, it feels like they, I mean, Aaron, E-R-I-N, I don't know how they identify, but they're basically, they are coming off as desensitized.

It's kind of what I'm getting from this. Like, oh, yeah, I'm from the PNW. I've seen this, this is an everyday thing. Like, I'm not, this is nothing special at all. Yeah. It's just like one of the most majestic lakes in the world. Yeah. But maybe if they knew that there's some, like, suspected alien activity and Bigfoot activity,

they'd think it was cooler. I don't know. They don't want to come back, it feels like. What do you do in Crater Lake for seven days? They put in parentheses, 10 minutes is kind of like what they allot for a visit here. Like a 10 minute. 10 minutes. Wow.

You're in, you're out, you're on your way. Takes me longer to take a few photos than 10 minutes. Yeah, well. All right, let's go somewhere now that we're on our way to in November. Just a little taste of what's in store for us. Yes, Hawaii Volcanoes National Park. This review comes from Andy B in March of 2020, and they said, don't waste your time. Went on a hike through the old volcano. It was like walking through an empty Walmart parking lot. I was like, you mean the park that has the most active volcanoes on the entire planet and frequently erupts and people can watch.

Yeah, that one. It's like Walmart. It has the largest shield volcano on the entire. entire planet. Should we not go? I feel like we shouldn't go now. I don't know. Andy has kind of convinced me not to. I've seen a lot of Walmart parking lots. You've seen them one, you've seen them all. Yeah. I don't really think we need to like. I've never seen a Walmart parking lot in Hawaii, though. I feel like Walmart's not in Hawaii. Is that wrong? I feel like they probably are. Really? Yeah. Well, I guess we'll find out. Yeah, I guess we'll go to Hawaii Volcano's National Park. My faith, I have a feeling it's going to be my favorite Walmart parking lot. You've ever been to.

Ever. A five out of five review for a Walmart parking lot, but a one out of five review for a national park. Walmart parking lot. Okay. So next one, I had to pull this one because this is my personal, if I could give one one out of five stars for something, if I gave negative reviews. For a national park.

Yeah. Okay. And we've been here together. Mount Rushmore, National Monument. Ah, good old. Good old. A bunch of old men. Old men carved into a stone.

Okay, so this review is by Katie G in 2018. Call me unpatriotic if you want, but I thought Mount Rushmore was a fantastic waste of time and money. You drive roughly half an hour out of Rapid City past Keystone, a testament to tacky tourism gone wild, up to the monument just to pay $10 for parking. The parking garage is horribly designed. Which was also another theme for this. The parking, people could not talk about the parking. garage enough in the reviews from Mount Rushmore. I'm just going to say that. Don't even remember the parking garage. Me neither. Did we even park in it? Probably. We must have. I don't know. Whatever. It was not

memorable for our visit. Okay. She continues. Once you manage to park and find your way out to the monument, you see the faces up on the mountain, smaller than I expected. Only if you can drag your attention away from the sea of humanity, the lights and colors of the souvenir shop and the stink of the concession stand. This isn't a monument to America's founders. It's a monument to commercialism and consumerism. I hope I never have to go there again. And KDG, I just have to say I kind of agree with you. Call me unpatriotic if you want. That is my cross to bear. But I was really unimpressed with Mount Rushmore. I don't, what time of year did we go? Do you remember? It was summer. It was September. It was September. Okay. Because I don't remember there being like a ton of people. Like of course it was pretty

busy, but I don't remember it being like a sea of people and like a bunch. I mean, I remember the museum gift shop thing, but I don't remember it being like concession stands and like all that. I don't remember all of that. Yeah. I know it's a piece of history and it's there now. But I don't think there's ever any reason for it to exist and it has a lot of I mean I know a lot of our national park history has ties negatively with indigenous communities but this one in particular is kind of like it's awful it's extra it's just it's extra bad I mean it's right it's on indigenous land commemorating a bunch of white old presidents who did some problem problematic things who did very problematic things Yeah. And it's just not that cool. I mean, there's just no, I don't know, kind of, yeah.

Yeah. I didn't love it either. I will say on the flip side of this, similar to our experience, right after we went to Mount Rushmore, we went to the Crazy Horse Memorial. Crazy Horse was so cool. And that has nothing but great reviews. Yeah, well, they incorporate, I mean, Crazy Horse is indigenous and they incorporate so much culture into it and so much learning into it. where Mount Rushmore, I think Mount Rushmore would have been a lot more interesting if they were more honest about the actual history of it because it is history and it's there. And negative or positive, I think history should be preserved. But it was, the park tries to make it feel very patriotic and like, we're great founding fathers of America and just glazes over the horrific history, which I think a lot of, I mean, I know our listeners, we kind of gravitate towards the morbid darker sides.

And I think that they should just own it. You're like, yeah, this is awful. We gravitate towards being told the truth in its entirety. Yes. Even when it's dark. And Mount Rushmore, I think that they're really lacking on painting it and it's true light. Yeah. So there's that.

When they do that, we'll up our stars. Yeah, we'll, what is it, tweak our review? or whatever. Well, I don't know, a dresser. Yeah. Revisor. Yeah. And then I had to pull one. It's so short. Same for the same monument. Review by Dan Al in December of 2015. Not very good. Kind of scary, in my opinion. My little sister cried, do not bring kids to this thing. It is scary. It is scary. It's a bunch of faces in a rock that's massive and they're all kind of staring at you. I also love, though, that Katie kind of going back to her, she's like much small. in my opinion.

It was smaller, actually. I thought too. Based on the pictures I've seen. I mean, it's still massive. Yeah, yeah. But yeah. Okay, let's keep going. We have some more to get through.

We've just been. Yeah. Well, this one, kind of in the same region, we're going to Badlands National Park. This review is by Henry H. In September 2010, we're really taking it back. They said, I don't get what's so great about the Badlands and make it deserve national park status.

We went there on a road trip this summer. A friend and my brother had just rode through on their motorcycle trip and highly recommended seeing Badlands. So we left Yellowstone at midnight and drove overnight straight to Badlands. When we arrived, my comment was, this is it. Badlands is basically washed out hills of 50,000-year-old mud. You have vast grasslands on site and old mud on the other. And the mud wasn't even differently colored layers or have any other redeeming qualities. It was brown.

After seeing the major parks like Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, Yosemite, etc. Badlands is lacking a national park quality. And I like barren landscapes. Death Valley is one of my favorite parks, but Badlands just didn't do it for me. Unless you are really into old West history or prehistoric mammals, don't go to Badlands. You know what? I loved Badlands. Don't go so we can all, the people who do like mud and prehistoric, what did you say?

Prehistoric creatures and mammals? whatever the heck else. If you like fossils, go to Badlands, which is actually a really good point. If you like fossils, Badlands is a great place to go. I loved Badlands.

One of the best sunsets I've ever seen in a national park was when we were in Badlands. Yeah, I agree. It was just amazing. Super, I think because we went in just not really knowing what to expect and our expectations because they were pretty much non-existent.

Yeah. We're just blown away. So we had a really positive experience. Yeah. Great hiking. The weather was good, you know. Our tent almost blew away in said grasslands adjacent to the badlands, but that was our fault. Yeah.

And me for really funny videos. Do you have that video still? I don't know. I have to look. I'm sure somewhere. It's somewhere because that video is so funny. We're camping and the wind is so strong and our tent's trying to blow away. And we're just in it.

In the middle of the night, this is like 2 o'clock in the morning. It's just like, like we get it's sleep. like collapsed almost. Collapsing on us. Because we were the only weights that were holding it up. So the entire fabric of the tent was just collapsing over us. Yeah. Anyways, well, kind of going off of this whole trip, I'm actually going to skip one.

We can come back to the Everglades really quick because Wind Cave is also on here. And we did Wind Cave as part of the Mount Rushmore Battiland's trip. We also did Wind Cave. So I wanted to include this. This is a review by Seth A from July of 2018. And it's kind of long, but I also want to say I did shorten it. Oh, wow. Okay.

So they had a lot to say. They had so much to say. Here it goes. Just want to say that I'm a nice person, L.O.L. And here we go. Another thing with the reviews, everyone's like, they have to like make sure they say like a disclaimer. Like, no, I like the outdoors.

I like national parks, but. And then there's like. No offense, but. It's like, I'm about to be offensive. I've been on a journey these last few years to visit every national park in the country. And just last week, I came here to Wind Cave National Park, my 38th out of 59. And it's so funny because I was in 2018, there's only 59. It's like there's 63 stupid idiot. Unfortunately, just being honest, this was one of the worst national parks I have ever been to. I'm shocked to see so many other reviews of this place. four and five stars? Let me explain. Not just a national park, but Wind Cave goes down as my least favorite destination for cave exploration. Places like Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico, Natural Bridge Caverns in San Antonio, Howe Caverns in New York, and Mammoth Cave in Kentucky, just to name a few, are far superior than Wind Cave. And put a pin in that. I'm coming back to that statement, because I did some research on Seth A. Okay. Wait, on Seth A. I did.

Oh. Okay. She's trolling the troll. Okay. For my visit last week, the only tour available for the day was the natural entrance tour, which was being offered every 20 minutes starting at 8.40 a.m. running through 6 p.m. Also, tickets for tours are purchased on a first come, first served basis. When I arrived at 8.30 a.m., there were no issues buying tickets for tours, though by the time I left Wing Cave at 10.30, the parking lot had filled up plenty, and there could have been wait times for tours by then. I went off. I went off. I went off. I went off. the 9 a.m. tour with 25 other people. There was nothing to see. Pretty much, the cave was a complete underground walkthrough where you stop in a few rooms while a ranger talks. There were no photos to be had, no pretty rooms, nothing. The ranger spoke about the abundance of boxwork in the caves and how long and expansive when cave was as one of the biggest underground caverns in the country. But the boxwork wasn't picturesque. There was no stalagmites or stalactites. It was simply a walking tour underground, one tourist in front of the other, in a single file line, while the Ranger recalled stories from Windcaved's history and the people that helped discover it. Yeah, sounds like a nightmare to me,

honestly. Each room was bland and monotone. It got pretty frustrating. What was so perplexing was, I constantly questioned myself, when is the good part coming? And who cares about this room? What is next? And isn't there a grand room with pretty formations? When the tour was completed, I was speechless. I felt disappointed that my National Parks journey took a sidetrack, especially having traveled a long ways to the Black Hills of South Dakota

to one of only 59 parks in the United States with nothing memorable to recall. And the area is abundant with amazing sites, monuments, and unique places to see like Custer State Park right next door, Mount Rushmore, and Crazy Horse Memorials just a few miles away, and the beautiful Badlands National Park. So, after the one hour, 15-minute tour,

there was nothing left to explore, so I moved on with the rest of my day sightseeing at Custer State Park down the road. I'd say the best part about Wind Cave National Park was grabbing a photo at the entrance sign outside of the visitor center as proof that I visited. Sorry for being a downer. Okay. Well, now I need to know what you've dug up on Seth A. Okay, well, because the way that this was constructed and because it was so lengthy and just the style of like what he capitalized, what he empathized, what he emphasized, the tone of his thing. I'm like, it's memorable, okay, for someone that's

reading a lot of reviews. Okay. I went to, I went to Mammoth Cave National Park Yelp page. Was he there? He was there. And he was upset about Mammoth Cave. So he doesn't like Mammoth Cave or Win Cave. He lied to us here when he said, I've been. It's like, I can't even believe you. I don't believe anything you're saying now. Yeah, so he gave another, I didn't include it because it's pretty much the same sentiments. And I'm pretty sure he does admit

in the Mammoth Cave one he's like, I guess I'm just not a cave guy. And then I was expecting. Did you find one for Carlsbad? There are some on Carlsbad too. I didn't include them though. From him?

No, not from him. No, I mean from him? No. Not that I saw. Because he enjoyed Carl's Bad, I guess. I mean, if you're not a cave guy, you're not a cave guy. I'm not a cave girl.

So. But there was like, I mean, you were in this cave with me. We took one of those really. I had fun. I thought it was cool. Boring ranger tours. Yeah, it was so boring. Didn't learn anything.

You were just like, oh my God, one room after the other. It was cool. I'm not a cave person just because I don't like closed in spaces. But I mean, it's cool. I thought I wouldn't go in a cave and be like, oh my God, this is horrendous. I have pictures. I just don't belong underground. I have pictures because I was like, was it.

boring and I have pictures from that and it was so pretty I took a lot of photos of the formations and stuff I'm like what is he talking about we're in another cave system um anyway so yeah Seth I'm on on to you um we'll be looking at every every cave park for your reviews yes well our next one comes from great sand dunes national park which we happen to have just been in and this one is by Linda M and this is from August 2021 if you have ever wondered what it would be like to walk miles through a Middle Eastern desert on a windy day, then this is the place for you. Only $25 per car for the privilege of walking half a mile through deep sand to the smallest dunes where if you rented a board in advance and carried it uphill

against the blowing wind $20, you can slide for five seconds, track back up the hill and repeat. Spoiler alert, unless you are in great shape, this will happen two, maybe three times. Be sure and bring your dogs or small children as they will enjoy getting sand in their eyes and mouth and wind whips as wind whips it against their skin. See the photo of my dog. You can tell he's having a great time. No need to buy souvenirs because you will bring back enough sand in your socks, shoes, crevices for all your friends and family. Rating zero out of five. I mean, she's not totally wrong.

The sand part is correct. I mean, that was everywhere. It could be. The sand dunes are not small, though. They are a hike to get up there. I know. Well, she kind of contradicts herself with like, it's a small dune, but you have to trek up. And it's like you can only do it a couple times if you're not in shape and stuff.

I don't care if you're in shape or not. Those dunes are a workout. Yeah, they are a workout. But they're fun. I mean, we had sandboard. We had a lot of fun. I can see how it would be difficult. And we were there on a day that wasn't super windy.

So we were lucky in that regard as well. but that's that's mother nature for you yeah um okay oh here we are oh no the time's gone to the arches back to the arch shape we go arches national park review by roy l in september of 2022 more arches please honestly i thought there would be more arches oh opposite roy is on the opposite end of the arch literally spectrum here like arches as far as the eye could see It's called arches National Park. Are there formations as far as the eye can see? Sure.

But then call it formations national park. Or a few arches scattered over thousands of acres national park. Don't come expecting every arch to look like the one on the license plate because it's one of the few things that's impressive. This place gets one star because the name is seriously misleading. Petition to change the name from Arch's National Park to a few arches scattered over thousands of acres national park. Lincoln bio Be part of the movement Be there or B square

Oh my Yeah so I take that for what you will But We have another one We have another one Rick R June 2015

Oh Rick If you like me Prefer your natural beauty Without a steady stream Of strangers Standing in front Arches is a frustrating experience in the summer

Last night we hiked up hill and narrow ledge to enjoy the magnificent delicate arch in the golden hour before sunset, along with several hundred other people. For the entire time, individual by individual, or small number by small number of narcissistic, selfish people posed right in front of the arch for their personal photo. Several of us remonstrated with these people pointing out that hundreds of other people would prefer their view and photos unoccupied by them. Still, the parade continued.

Weirdly, they exhibited courtesy to each other taking turns with their individual photos, but didn't leave as much as a minute to photograph the arch unoccupied. This situation is potentially dangerous as well. Any physical altercation between these people with different perspectives about this could easily lead to serious injury or death if someone were shoved over a ledge, left in frustration and won't be back. The end is like, Rick, that is concerning. Why? That's a dangerous situation because you want to push people over the edge? Yeah. Like, what does that mean? That's a little ominous.

And yeah, you went to Arch's, you went to The Delicate Art at Arch at Golden Hour. It's, you know, there's going to be crowds. People love, people love it there. It's one of the beautiful things about National Parks is people from all over the world come to see them because they care about them. Well, and also, here's the other things. Here's the other thing. Other theme. Add it to those lists that we have going here.

the contradiction of like there are too many tourists while also being a tourist yourself. I feel it. I feel that way sometimes when I'm there. I'm like, God, there's so many people here. It's like, yeah, I'm also here. You know, it does suck. It does suck sometimes. But to threaten to, or to vaguely ominously threaten their lives over it is a little concerning. And yeah, they were being courteous to each other. So because everyone wants a photo, I'm sure if you you had politely asked, which I'm assuming you did not, for people to step away because you just wanted a picture of the arch. I'm sure they would have obliged your photo as well. It's just, it's just so like, the end got dark. The end got way too dark. Rick, I hope you're not visiting other national

parks. Rick, we hope you're well. Yeah. All right. Well, going to my favorite national park, Grand Teton National Park. We have a one-star review from Nathan W. in July of 2018. Gradyest park rangers I've ever seen. A ranger followed me on the approach to the park, waited for me to pay my $35 entrance fee, and before I even pulled into the park, they turned on their lights and pulled me over. The 55-mile-per-hour zone had abruptly changed to 25, and they wrote me a $240 ticket for going 47. The guy who took my ticket literally laughed when the guy's lights flashed on. I noticed the speed limit changed like three times every mile, and Ranger cars were practically around every corner. Just shameful. Meanwhile, a lot of the trails were falling apart, full of litter, and swarming with mosquitoes.

The mountains look nice, but Yellowstone is way better, and it's right next to it. Save yourself to this dress and go somewhere more welcoming and appreciative of its tourists. I mean, if you're going 47 miles, yeah, there's a lot of changes. But if you're going 47 miles per hour directly after you get your park. Just imagine like putting your pedal to the metal, like peel out of the- I remember from 0 to 47? What? What?

What? They're just really excited to be there. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's shameful, Nathan, that you feel that way. But don't speed in national parks. Yeah. Like, it's an easy fix.

And didn't they say, I got a little lost. Didn't they say they noticed? They noticed the speed limit changes. Yeah. So you noticed it changed, but you're still going 47 and a 25. Yeah, no. Okay. We have two more to round that.

this out. Virgin Islands National Park is next. And this review is by Mark A from January of 2022. No parking anywhere in super rude rangers. Nothing to eat and snorkeling was not that great in most spots. Save your money and time and just go to Hawaii or the Bahamas would be cheaper than visiting this rude dump of an island. Okay. Fresh. It's really pretty, but the town cruise bay and coral bay are just dumps with rude people and not much to do. National Park was a big, big letdown, sad. Sad. Very sad. It was interesting because they said snorkeling was not great. And so I googled what the snorkeling was in this situation because I've never been. So I was just like, oh, what do you mean? And not that great snorkeling here includes seeing

tropical fish in every color imaginable from parrotfish and angler fish to curious pufferfish. Sea turtle, sorry, angel fish, not angler. Sea turtles, both green and loggerhead, stingrays and eagle rays, octopus, eels, barracuda, and even nurse sharks. The waters are filled with colorful coral formations including brain coral, elk corn coral, and lettuce leaf coral, which provides homes for countless marine creatures. So that sounds pretty awful. Sounds like a letdown. Don't go to Virgin Islands National Park. It's just so rude.

Nothing to eat also. Like that another thing. Oh my God. I'm just like getting all these flashbacks to the themes. A lot of people are really upset with the culinary choices that are offered. Experiences. It's like, I'm sorry, but did I miss the part where people were going to national parks for food? I mean, I would like to eat while I'm in a national park at some point.

But yeah, it feels like a lot of these reviews are based around personal poor planning or personal expectations. It's like, I'm sorry, but real. That aren't real. Like the cafeteria style restaurant in the middle of a national park in a remote part of the country is not going to be the best meal you've ever had. And going in with some of those expectations is just like really off base, I think. Yeah, I agree. So anyway.

Okay. Last park that we're going to finish up with is Sequoia National Park. Yes. Sequoia National Park. Chelsea, V gave it one star in Cincinnati. September of 2022. Based on all of the reviews I have read about this park, my review is going to be less favorable and unpopular. I've been to 19 national parks. Each and everyone was unique in its own way and worth visiting. Unfortunately, I didn't feel the same about Sequoia. My personal

experience did not fulfill my expectations and it left me feeling disappointed. During my visit, about 75% of the trees were dead and lifeless. My guess is that it's partly due to the drought and wildfires in California. There were numerous trees that were cut down to. It wasn't exactly a scenic or spectacular view. I also feel like I'll get hate for this, but I wasn't impressed with General Sherman whatsoever. I'm not trying to give a tree in the world. Letting her speak. Let's let her finish. I understand that's the entire point of the park is to see this tree. However, I felt like it was overhyped because of social media trends. To further that, the whole idea of having visitors get on and off a shuttle bus to get to the tree felt like the daily attraction at Disneyland.

Luckily, we drove to the park early in the morning and avoided all the crowds, but I still felt it was overrated. Although I have had great experiences in all the national parks I've visited, I didn't think it was worth visiting Sequoia National Park. It's a huge forest. It makes you feel like an insignificant little speck, but at the end, it wasn't as impressive as other forests I've visited. During driving to the end of the park, I thought to myself, oh, this is it. Sequoia is the largest trees in the world and the largest tree. I mean, it's it's, it is what you would expect it to be. You're seeing some of the largest trees in the world that are being preserved because they were almost cut down to complete extinction without this national park.

I mean, this review makes me sad because it kind of really, it kind of shows how, I don't know if spoiled is the right term or, again, desensitized. Because she does touch on, you know, like it was overhyped because of social media. I was thinking it was going to be this big, grand, wonderful thing. And I just, it didn't really meet my expectations of what I built up in my mind or how it was portrayed. And I think we see that a lot, not just with General Sherman. And again, that wasn't my experience. I mean, I was like, oh, my God, that's a giant tree. Yeah.

And it's so cool. But I think that, you know, that's another conversation kind of tying it back to the beginning of this episode about, you know, just like the conversations that we can have about national parks of like what is the best route to take. Like, should we put Wi-Fi in to help with search and rescue? but then it dejects from, you know, being out in the true wilderness. Should we have, like, geotagging and social media and all this to, you know, hype up certain locations and spots to share the wonder with the world, but are we also ruining them for people and also ruining them physically by drawing so many people to them?

Like, should we have accessibility? Like, she's complaining here about how there's buses that kind of bring you directly to this place to make it more accessible for people. And, you know, a lot of people have mixed feelings about that. Like, yes, you should have accessibility within national parks for people of all kinds so they can come experience this. And then other people view that as, okay, well, that makes it too popular. And there's too many people and it's too accessible.

And it's just kind of like, God, what in the... And this is kind of I wanted to like make this the last one because it does kind of wrap up the whole, like, it's fun to poke fun at people's gripes and complaints and some of it is, you know, lighthearted, but some of it really does showcase how difficult the National Park Service really does have it with trying to have this balance of like making sure that they're preserving and protecting natural places and wildlife while also keeping everyone safe and making this visitor experience as good as it can be while it's just like this huge juggle and I don't think we really give the National Park Service enough flowers for that like and so for their

birthday even though we started this with like we're going to make fun of you it really does we just wanted to show that they put up with a lot they do a lot and they're doing their best and we just kind of just a reminder to our appreciation yeah um and appreciate them and what they're doing for the places that we all love. And of course, we wanted to end a little bit on the note of the National Park Service themselves and just kind of in recognition of their birthday. Yes. And I threw a little, I don't know if you saw, but I just like threw in some last minute facts in there.

Because I was curious and it was like, you know, we have all these national parks, but how much land does the National Park Service really preserve and protect in? And it's a lot. So the National Park Service preserves over 85 million acres of land. This includes 433 National Park units spread across all 50 states. But also, because as we know, national parks have become a global conservation effort across the entire planet, around 14.7% of the land is protected as national park land. That's so, that's like such a heartwarming figure. It's like there's so much space out there that really is safeguarded, at least for the moment.

Yeah. And there's still so much more that can be done, of course, and hopefully we'll keep seeing the world find and protect places. But it's really encouraging that from the time that Yellowstone was created, America's best idea, that 14.7% of the world is now protected because of it. Yeah, just like this foundational idea has spread. throughout the globe. And just as a tiny, tiny bit of backstory in the National Park Service, it's literally one paragraph. By August of 1916, the Department of the Interior oversaw over a dozen national parks and monuments. But there was no unifying leadership or organization to operate them. It was kind of like scattered. We didn't have our shit together, really. It's like, these are

great ideas and we want to preserve this and this and this, but there was no like umbrella overseeing like, okay, we need to all be on the same page here. So lacking this cohesive organization, the parks and monuments were vulnerable to competing interests. So Congress passed the act to establish the National Park Service or the Organic Act, which created a federal bureau within the Department of the Interior, tasked with managing and preserving the nation's national parks and monuments, and placed all the existing parks under its management.

Thus, the National Park Service was created on August 25th of 1916 when President, Woodrow Wilson signed the act into law. The legislation established the basis for the fundamental mission, philosophy, and policies of the National Park Service to preserve unimpaired the natural and cultural resources and values of the national park system for the enjoyment, education, and inspiration of this and future generations. So this is our way of saying thank you to the National Park Service for upholding the philosophy and the vision founded over 100 years ago. we are so very grateful for you. We're sorry for all the bad reviews you get and all that you've been through, but we appreciate

you and give you five out of five stars. Happy birthday. Thanks everyone for listening. We will see you next week. Until then, enjoy the view. But watch you're back. Bye, everyone. Thank you for joining us again this week.

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