National Park After Dark - Tales from the Crypt: Waterton Lakes National Park

Episode Date: February 12, 2024

On a crisp September day Trevor Janz and Patricia Van Tighem’s lives are changed forever when they encounter a grizzly on their weekend hike. Patricia later writes of their journey of healing, both physical and emotional, with refreshing candor and an open heart.Help is out there: Call 988 or text 741741For the latest NPAD updates, group travel details, merch and more, follow us on npadpodcast.com and our socials:Instagram: @‌nationalparkafterdarkTikTok: @‌nationalparkafterdarkSupport the show by becoming an Outsider and receive ad free listening, bonus content and more on Patreon or Apple Podcasts. Want to see our faces? Catch full episodes on our YouTube Page!Thank you to this week’s partners!Hatch: Use our link to get $20 off and free shipping. Rocket Money: Use our link to get started saving.Prose: Use our link for a free in-depth hair consultation and 50% off your first subscription. Plus 15% off and free shipping on all future subscription orders.Naked Wines: Follow our link and use code and password NPAD to get 6 bottles of wine for $39.99 plus free shipping.For a full list of our sources, visit http://npadpodcast.com/episodes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Those sandals you can wear all day and all night. And you've had enough of shopping from your couch. Done hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear up on that envelope. It's time for a little in-person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross. Work your magic. Millions of people die every year, but millions of people almost die every year as well. We hear of the success stories of those who come out the other side stronger, wiser, and better for their experiences,

who mold their tragedy into triumph. Aaron Ralston, who cut off his own arm with a dull pocket knife in the canyons of Utah, or Danny Bader, who in his late 20s accidentally touched a live power line and died for a solid eight minutes, before coming back Earthside. Both of these men went on to become motivational speakers, talking about how they used those moments to transform every other one to follow. But what happens when you come so close to death, you can literally reach out and touch it,

and the contact left you marred for life, left wounded with scars that reach far beyond the physical, and extend deep into the mental, emotional, and spiritual, leaving no peace of you unscathed. What happens when you come back from the brink of death only to find yourself wishing that you hadn't? Welcome to National Park After Dark. This sounds like it's going to be an intense episode.

It's heavy for sure. So right off the top, this episode definitely warrants a couple warnings. Number one, and most importantly, we're going to be talking and making mention of suicidal ideations. So if you're not in a mental space to listen, please don't. And it also contains some graphic descriptions of an animal attack because we are going to be talking about a bear malling today. Oh, man. You just have a second part there.

The animal attack just sparked everyone's interest and everyone's ears perked up like, oh, we're back. We're back to another bear attack. Yeah. I know. And I want to, I always kick myself. I should be writing down who suggests these things because I did get this. in, I think it's when you put up a, what story should I cover next? And I was like, let me see what people say on Instagram when you put up that block. Yeah, I got a lot of recommendations from that, too,

that I haven't done any yet, but I'm glad you found one. I did. Well, there are a few that I was like, okay, I already have that planned or I already have that book or I'm aware of that story. And obviously, there are some that are really highly requested as well. Multiple people are requesting them. But this one, it was a sole recommendation just snuck right in there. I'm like, hmm, what's this? And of course, there was a book. So I ordered it and I was planning on doing it actually later on. The story's tough, but I really enjoyed it. So I wanted to share it now. I literally just finished it yesterday. What's the book? It's called The Bears Embrace. Okay. And I'll obviously throw it up on. I've heard of that book, but I don't know anything outside of the title. Okay. Okay. And now that it's a bear mulling.

Yeah. So I'll put it up on our book recommendation page on our website, as always. But it is the primary source I used for the bulk of the story because it's a firsthand account written by. Oh. So the author, Patricia, is one of the two victims of this bear malling. So shall we begin? Actually, wait, whoa, whoa. I'm not starting yet. Yeah. We have a couple things. First things first is that I am wearing a bear shirt today, which I feel like people should know. The boss. Yeah. The boss from Canada is on my shirt right now, which is very fitting.

I didn't know we were doing a bare episode today, but I must have known subconsciously because I am prepared for this episode. And it does take place in Canada. It's like I knew. It is like you know. We spend too much time together. Yeah. You're like picked up on my waves this morning. Yeah.

I was like, all right, which one? This is what Danielle wants today. And secondly. Which, yeah, most important. So we had our first Patreon live last night and it was so fun. Yeah, we did. So we were starting this new segment on Patreon because we wanted to be a little more engaged for people who are subscribing on Patreon. And we found out that we can do live video on there.

So last night we did our first live episode where we did Park News and we did current events because a lot of our stories obviously that we cover. our long since happened. So we decided to do a current event episode and live stream that we used crowdcast with Patreon, which allows everyone in the room to actually chat with us at the same time. So there's a chat box. You can ask questions. It was, it was really fun. And it is still on Patreon if you're interested in watching it. So it live streams, but then it stays on forever after. So you can go on there and watch it and come hang out with us because we're planning to do it biweekly, we decided. Yeah, we decided live last night that we were going to do it, or try to do it every other week, obviously, with travel obligations and different things.

It may not be exactly every two weeks for all time, but we are going to do our best to stick with that schedule. So if you're interested in joining our Patreon, now is a great time to do it because of that new segment. And we're going to switch it up from time to time as far as what we cover and what the theme of the night is and things like that, which we kind of talked a little bit about. last night. So if you're interested, no, it might be fun. Sorry, I'm thinking out loud right now. We could do a trivia night, a live trivia night. Yeah. That would be fun. That would be super fun. Wait, like between us or like with people. No, like, with the people. Yeah, you can. And you could have a trivia night and people would just have to not cheat because there's no one. No, but I'm saying like, I think we can bring them up on

stage. Like, what if we could do it? So like, you know how Spotify Live used to be able to do that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. you can do that on crowdcasts too but what if we could do it like you can bring someone up and i can bring someone up and it's our teams oh we'll have to look more into this because that would be fun okay we're brainstorming during an episode sorry yeah um anyways so i think that's it that was like kind of the big announcement we wanted to make okay on to the story it was early fall 1983 and patricia van tegum and trevor johns were happily on their way for a weekend of camping it was september and A slight nip in the air was quickly warmed by the sun, streaming in through golden leaves of the larches lining the road. Did I say road where?

I was like, road. How did I just say that? I thought you were just being fancy. The road. The road. You said it like kind of in like a like sensual way. I felt like it came out in like a different accident. Road.

Okay. This is serious. Sorry. Sorry. Okay, okay. Seriously. The young couple, so sorry. Sorry, again, for cursing. That's my favorite line of super bad.

Like, fuck. Sorry for cursing. Sorry. The young couple were driving south on Highway 2. Patricia, who often went by Trish, had won their weekend plans to bait. Her husband, Trevor, had wanted them to go rock climbing, but Trish wanted to take the time to stretch their legs and get one last overnight trip before winter crept in. Spending their weekends outdoor was of choice.

They were an extremely active couple with various outdoor recreation interests, but life and life responsibilities were starting to wedge themselves into the way of their fun outdoors more often than not in the recent years. That tends to happen. They had been married for five and married for three, meeting shortly after Trisha arrived home from a multi-month exchange program with a group called Canada World Youth, which had been based in Africa. Early on, free time together was bountiful, but as of recently, the frequency of time they got off, but also got off together, dipped as their responsibilities increased.

And it was really important for Trisha to have some one-on-one time with her husband. Trevor was in his third year of medical school and midway through his pediatrics rotation at a hospital in Calgary. Patricia was also busy with work. She had graduated nursing school the year prior and had also been working at the same hospital but on the surgical. floor. They both found that their work at the hospital was extremely rewarding, but their shifts often left them drained and collapsing into bed at night, often using what little free time that they had to recharge at home instead of spending it outdoors. So when Trevor tossed out the idea that they should do something, the debate ensued. But when he eventually tossed Trisha her favorite trail

snack, she knew that the weekend was about to go her way. And she gave a little smile out the window as they arrived at their destination of Waterton Lakes National Park. Waterton Lakes National Park is located in the southwest corner of Alberta, Canada, and actually borders Glacier National Park in Montana on the U.S. side. Yeah, you can cross. You can cross between parks and you get a passport stamp. Mm-hmm. And I think I think I saw it once, and it's a mountain goat is the stamp. Well, the mountain goat is the official or official or unofficial symbol of glacier, so that I feel like that would make sense. Make a lot of sense. The park is the ancestral homelands and the traditional territory of the indigenous peoples of the Nacota and Blackfeet Nations. And I wanted to include the traditional

blackfoot name for Waterton Lakes. And it is a huge mouthful. So I'm really going to try my best. But I wanted to include it because it's important. Of course. And I want to say, it's pronounced Bactomachikimi, meaning inner sacred lake within the mountains. That's a beautiful name. If I pronounce it right, which I probably didn't. Well, the meaning is also beautiful. Yeah, that's true. Established in 1895, it is Canada's fourth national park. And in 1932, the Waterton Glacier International Peace Park was formed.

And it was the first of its kind in the entire world. And the intention behind it was to promote goodwill between nations and underscore the international nature of protection of the wilderness. So just like a cohesive relationship between two nations prioritizing the protection of nature, essentially. It later went on to also be named a biosphere reserve and a world heritage site. Its landscape has been shaped over the centuries by wind, fire, glacial ice, and floods, making it one of the most distinctive mountain parks in the entire world. At about 195 square miles, the park covers the Rockies down to the prairie. Waterton is home to more than 60 species of mammals, 250 species of birds, 24 species of fish, and 10 species of reptiles and amphibians.

and more than half of Alberta's plant species are found within this park as well. So it just kind of lends to how it got that biosphere designation because the ecosystems here are really unique. It's stunning views, cultural history, ecological importance, and over 120 miles of trail systems draw in about a half a million visitors a year. And the park is open year round, but nearly 50% of visitation occurs in the month of August. Wow, I'm Googling photos of it right now just because I haven't. I know that it exists, but I've never really looked it up that much. Wow. It is beautiful. While you have your phone up, keep it out for a second because I want you to look up the exact trail that this happens on because it's stunning.

Okay. So Trevor and Patricia roll into the parking lot of the Waterton Lodge to spend their first evening in the luxury of a bed and wrapped up their night choosing the trail. for the next day. Is that this building? It's either that or there's also the Prince Wales Lodge, I think it's called, which is another really prominent lodge in the park that was built in the 20s. And I don't know. They're beautiful. Yeah, they're really stunning. Yeah. You're adding a place that I really want to travel to now. Glacier is so high on my list. Wait, we are? Well, I just know mentally because you want to go to Glacier so bad. I'm just like, That it's going to happen at some point. Yeah.

I'm like, we are. When? The couple settled on the Crypt Lake Trail. It's approximately five miles out with a 2,000 foot elevation gain and it was a favorite of the area. The hike meanders through forests, scree, rocks, and pine meadows all the way up to Cripe Lake, which is a pristine alpine lake that is surrounded on three sides by towering mountains.

The trail was actually voted Canada's best hike two years prior in 1981. And later in 2014, it was rated one of the world's most thrilling trails by National Geographic. So let's all pause. Either on all trails or Google, look up Cript Lake Trail, and you'll see just how beautiful it is. It looks like an adventure. You're on rock cliffs. There's like rock stairs. You're way in the alpine zone.

And then you have this alpine lake. Wow. Mm-hmm. And there's a waterfall. And there's a little natural rock tunnel. that you have to go through as well at one point in that trail. Yeah. Well, I can see why they wanted to adventure out here for sure.

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Second chances. Chemistry you can feel through the screen. Your next obsession is waiting. Watch only on Prime. They rose with the sun the next morning to catch the boat across Waterton Lake, which was needed to reach the Crypt Lake Trailhead. The forecast called for a sunny, clear day with some wind gusts, but snow to come in the evening. The pair considered returning back to the lodge that evening, just doing the trail for the day and coming back, but last minute they packed up all their gear and prepared to spend the night camping. The boat dropped them off at the trailhead with two other hikers who quickly took off ahead of them. Trevor and Trisha took turns taking photos, taking in the sights, stopping for snacks, and making their way up the switchbacks. Trisha was 24 at this time, with a mixture of blonde and brown

hair that swirled around her face, framing her striking blue eyes. She was slim, around 110 pounds, and had a figure of a dancer, thanks to the many years of ballet classes she took as a child. She bounced along the trail as they passed families and what appeared to be a large school group with a dozen or so children and a couple of adults. They continued on taking in the scenery until a pungent smell wafted in their direction. Trisha immediately stopped and thought of bears, and she whipped around to Trevor and said, Do you smell that? Yes, he responded. But after chatting back and forth, despite the thoughting passing thought in Trisha's mind about bears,

They kind of just shrug it off and think that it's maybe some sort of plant or weird vegetation that it's just emitting an odd odor. And they continue on. Nearing the five mile mark, they reached the campground and drop their packs and then continue on to visit the shores of Crypt Lake, which lies almost smack dab on the U.S. Canada border. So if you look up Crypt Lake on like Google Maps, it looks like it's almost spilling over into the U.S. That's how close. It's just separated by a couple of mountains into a glit. sure. Trevor makes his way to the shoreline while Tricia lays down on some of the slabs of limestone, and they both just soak in the splendid September day. As the sun starts to set, they make their way back to camp and set up before nightfalls. They set up their tent and hang their food cache, glancing over as the pops and crackles of a fire catch their attention. The two hikers that took the boat with them earlier that day were camping there as well, and they motioned Trevor and Trisha over, so they joined them around the fire. As the sun was setting, they chas and they chas and. They chas.

added well into the night until Trevor and Trisha go back into their tent for the night crawling in and snuggling up for the evening. The next morning, they awake to a snow globe. Everything was layered with a fresh coat of powder and the chill in the air was reason for a quick camp pack up. Trisha pulled on and layered all the clothing that she brought with her onto her body and helped Trevor pack up camp. They made record time and glanced over to see Jim and Joel, their campsite companions, who were still enjoying the warmth of a morning fire. It was nearing around 9 a.m. and they still had a few hours to go until they had to catch the boat

because remember the boat brought them over to drop them off of the trailhead. Yeah. And it was scheduled to depart at 11.30 in the morning. So they decided to head down towards the dock early. Number one, they were already packed up. They were cold. They just wanted to get moving. And they were also remembering the warnings that the boat crew gave them upon drop-off.

Be here by 1130 or it's going to be. going to be a long walk back to town. Because there is a way to get back to town. It's just, obviously, you're not cutting across the lake. So it's extremely... You got to walk around it. Yeah, it's a long one. So Trevor and Trisha head out, crunching their way along the freshly sugar-coated ground. They were making really good time back down, covering the rocky slopes of switchbacks easily, and were entering the thick forest in record time. Trevor was ahead of Trisha and almost had a skip in a step, reveling in the pristine winter wonderland that appeared. in the fall. He was several paces ahead of Trisha and she watched with a smile as the blue and orange of his

jacket and gear bopped along, disappearing around a bend, and then listened as his voice, which had been belting out songs, started to fade into the forest. But Trisha was close behind him and followed suit quickly, making her way around the bend in the trail before stopping abruptly. Ahead of her, Trevor had stopped in the center of the trail, and just beyond him was another figure. The brown coat and humped shoulders were a clear giveaway. He was standing essentially face to face with a grizzly. Before she could even process what was actually happening, it charged, barreling directly towards Trevor, who managed to only slightly turn away. It slammed into him, grabbing a hold of his leg in the process. Trish's mind flashed with bear safety information. She and Trevor had actually both worked for a season

in Banff National Park and part of their duties, along with doing campsite, cleanups and monitoring were handing out pamphlets that were titled, You Are in Bear Country. And obviously, they all detailed Bear Safety Guidelines and best practices. But for the life of her, she could not remember what they said in that moment. Just panic, sheer panic. What could she do? What should she do? She started to panic. Deciding to throw down her pack, she eyed the nearest tree, thinking that, maybe she recalled that Grizzlies couldn't climb trees or at least not well. So she scrambled up as fast as she could, but the branches were getting smaller and weaker the higher she went. And she was terrified that she wasn't going to get high enough, or that if she did climb high, that the weaker,

smaller branches would be unable to support her weight and that she'd just plummet down to the ground. Glancing down to check her progress, she locked eyes with the bear, who had let go with Trevor and was now huffing, mouth agape, and staring directly at her. So scary. In less than three seconds, it closed the space between them and lunged at the tree. Patricia must have been at least 20 feet up at this point, but it wasn't nearly far enough. The bear easily reached for her, hooked her with its long claws, and ripped her out of the tree. What happened next, happened so fast, yet felt like an eternity. Thinking back to those pamphlets, she tried her best to act passive and non-threatening, despite being in the grasp of a brown bear.

She arranged herself face down, tucking her face to the ground, and had her hands over her neck to protect it, and scrunched into a ball the best she could to protect her vital organs. The bear was directly on top of her and had her entire head in its mouth, and then it started chewing. Oh my God. Trisha could hear its teeth scraping on her skull and her bones breaking in its mouth. At this point, she couldn't hear anything, but the sounds were stomach churning. Her mind instantly wandered to her family, her large family, her mother, father, and nine siblings, and how sad they would be if she died in this brutal way.

She thought of Trevor, how their lives were just beginning. She didn't want to die, not here, and not like this. So she managed to wiggle one of her hands free and reached up behind her. She didn't want to further anger or agitate the animal, but she did want to throw it off to disorient it or confuse it or just give it pause long enough to give her an opportunity to do something. So she reached up and felt for its nose and once she found it, she grabbed it and twisted. Not with full force, but enough to startle it and her tactic worked. The bear let go and backed off. She heard it huffing and taking steps backwards and then silence followed.

Trisha still face down, peeked up, and saw that the bear was retreating but still had its eyes on her. So she remained as still and quiet and unmoving as possible until finally the bear moved away and out of sight. With the bear gone, Trisha took stock of her condition. At first, she wasn't even sure that she was alive until she heard her own breathing. There was still no pain, but she was laying directly on the snow-covered ground. She was shivering and freezing cold. I forgot that it had just snowed. Petrified that the bear wasn't far off and could return at any moment,

she lay motionless in a face-down position. Overcome with chill, she knew that her pack with her sleeping bag was nearby, because remember she threw it down before she tried to climb the tree. But suddenly she was unable to see. So she reached slowly and blindly for her pack until she finally found her sleep. bag, wrapped it over her, and hunkered down. She tried to call for Trevor, but words wouldn't come out of her mouth. Inside, her mind was screaming for him, but she was unsure if something was wrong with her voice or her mouth itself. She could barely get more than a whisper out. Weighing her options,

she was frozen with fear, and ultimately decides to wait where she is, face down against the cold ground, praying that the other pair of hikers came by them soon on their way to the boat, because she knows that they're going to be traveling this exact path. Yeah, and they're still on the trail pretty much. Yep, and they're still right on the trail and they were ahead of the other two hikers. So she knows it's just a matter of time until they come across them. Time begins to warp and she has no idea how long she was lying there until she starts to hear voices. And to her relief, Trevers was among them. The voices picked up and had an edge of panic to them as they rushed towards her. Sensing security for the first time she instantly began to cry and attempted to stand up while also attempting to

communicate with them. But her head felt floppy and words wouldn't come out and she was unable to stand up on her own. Soon, arms were all around her and she was dragged to her feet. Then she feels her sleeping bag being wrapped around her head and she forces her nurse brain to not think about why that is and instead to just focus primarily on taking steps forward. With roughly three miles to go back to the boat launch, the pain starts to creep into her left shoulder as she stumbles, blind, one foot in front of the other. She can't take a full step, but she stumbles, drags her feet and shuffles them as best as she can to put one foot in front of the other as she is being carried at times quite literally to the boat. She hears voices surrounding her the entire time, yelling and shouting.

She's unsure if they're communicating with each other, another group, or if the bear is following them and they're trying to scare it off. And Trisha cannot shake the feeling of just pure dread the entire time. Soon, her feet and her legs begin to fail her. So her rescuers attempt to use the sleeping bag as a makeshift stretcher. But when that fails, they attempt to take turns carrying her piggyback. And all the while, Trisha can focus on nothing but pieces of her head flopping around as they bounced along the trail as she's on people's backs.

Oh, my God. Soon, the piggyback tactic fails. At this point, Trisha is essentially dead weight, and it's really difficult to, even though she's a small person, she's, you know, roughly 110 pounds. She's a small girl. But being dead weight with significant injury is just, it's hard to transport her. So they suggest leaving her and Trevor on the trail while Jim and Joel run ahead to get help. But she, upon hearing this, she starts to panic.

She is just filled with this sense of dread that the bear is going to come back or has been following them. And she just resists that plan so much. And she's so terrified of being alone that she just pushes herself even harder to prove to her rescuers that she can make it without being left there. Her helpers are encouraging her the entire time, giving her encouragement along the way. but she hears the sharp edge of concern in their words, and she can almost imagine the worried glances that they are silently exchanging amongst themselves. Like they're trying to keep it together, but she knows something is really wrong that she can't see yet.

Yeah. She remembers the trail from the day before, and based on the ground underneath her feet, she knows that they must be getting closer to the boat. At this point, Trevor, concerned that they're going to miss the boat, does his best despite being injured significantly himself to run ahead to catch it. The next sentence she remembers hearing is, I'm Jim and I'm a paramedic. And at this point, relief flows over her like never before. She's hauled into the boat, wrapped in a blanket,

and is tucked into a corner. And it's at this point that the pain really starts to set in and starts to hit her. And she just remembers her brain screaming, no one touch me, no one touch me. Like she's just so painful everywhere. And the rocking and slapping of the boat up and down on the waves as it hurdles towards civilization is enough to keep her on the brink of blacking out from the pain. Wow. That like I can kind, not in this aspect, but I know kind of what that's like because when I've had major surgery before and then I've had to be in a car after and just the small little

bumps. And this is, I'm sewed up and I'm like healing. She's wide open just after this, so I can only imagine, and I was in a lot of pain, and I can only imagine what it's like, open wounds, the adrenaline has worn off, you're on no pain medication, and now you're, it's so tough. And it gets, it just gets worse. So Trevor and Trisha are taken to the closest hospital where Trisha floats in and out of consciousness the entire time. She's in her body some moments and other she isn't. She is transferred to another hospital where she's in, formed that Trevor is okay, but it is her that everyone is primarily concerned about. Suddenly, it's an all-hands-on-deck situation. Her clothing is cut off. Warm water bottles surround her to warm up her body temperature. She's stuck with IVs, given morphine, and her wounds are dressed. The combination of the drugs, pain, and trauma hit her all at once, and the world goes fuzzy. She continuously asks everyone

around her about Trevor, to which she is repeatedly reassured that he is okay. And this is all happening while she's being transferred to a larger, more equipped hospital in Calgary. And remember, they both work at a hospital in Calgary. So they're being transferred there as patients. Yeah. Oh, wow. Despite the pain, the knowledge of the incident and the heightened response from those around her, in her mind, she was thinking, and I think maybe this also has to do with like, it's just shock and the drugs on board and there's a lot of confusion. But at this point, despite being a nurse and knowing, you know, just experience what she experienced, in her mind, she thought that she was just going to be brought to the hospital, you know, maybe undergo a surgery, get some stitches, be patched up and

sent home. Well, she hasn't seen herself. Can she see yet? No. She's coming in and out of being able to see things. She's not completely blinded, but her vision isn't great at this time. Yeah. So she just doesn't know the extent of what's going on yet. Right. So when she arrives, and of course she's being transferred between hospitals to get her to this to this big one in Calgary. But when she gets there and she gets settles in, she's kind of surprised to hear that she was going to be going in for surgery and that there was a possibility that she would have to be intubated with the tracheal tube. Like it was in that moment that she was like, hold on. That seems like a lot for what's going on. Like she thought she was just going to get stitches or something. Right. Right. Exactly.

So that's kind of her first indication that things are not great. And then the panic really started to set in, and the severity of the situation started to set in when she was about to be rolled into the OR. And her mother-in-law, so Trevor's mom arrived at the hospital, took one look at Trisha and just broke down in tears. And then everything went black as she went into surgery. That same morning, Trisha's parents were in church, as was their Sunday ritual. they were a really religious family and the parents in particular went to church every Sunday. But for a reason that she wasn't quite sure of at the time, Eileen, who was Trisha's mom, was restless. She was agitated and felt like something was really wrong, but she couldn't put her finger on exactly what was bothering her.

And she was so anxious that she actually got up leaving her husband John in the pew at the church and wandered to the back of the church and paced for the rest of the service. And this has never happened to her before. And this was while she was actually being attacked. Yes. Wow. Mother's intuition. Yep. They arrive home.

I mean, nothing happens at church. She's kind of confused at why she's feeling this way. They arrive home without incident. Nothing. No news. Nothing happened. But not even an hour passes from the time they get home until they receive a phone call that their daughter and their son-in-law had been in an accident and that they needed to get to the hospital.

The details were. unclear, no further details other than that was shared with them at that point. And it wasn't until they arrived at the hospital that the doctors explained exactly what type of accident happened and that a grizzly had attacked the couple on their hike. Eileen, John, and Trevor's family waited anxiously for hours in the lobby of the emergency room, praying that Trisha would pull through. And of course, she wrote this book, so she does. The first week of recovery, she's in and out of consciousness, unable to stay awake and present for very long at all. She remains heavily medicated, wrapped in bandages, hurting and aching all over, but especially

in her head, her left shoulder, and her left hip. She's vaguely aware of the nurses filtering in and out, checking her vitals, scribbling down notes and caring for her, and she also feels the presence of her family, occasionally reaching for her hand to grasp as they whisper prayers and I love yous into her ear. She's unable to see or respond, and she continues to drift in and out of consciousness for almost two solid weeks. When she regains consciousness for a good amount of time and she's stable enough, she's informed that she is being taken in for an x-ray, as they may need to wire her jaw shut. Even the thought of being moved, even slightly, is enough to cause shoots of pain and aches down her body. But especially with the knowledge of a nurse, she knows that this needs to be done.

There's no other way around it. As she was being moved through the hospital, she felt something like covering her face over her bandages. So her whole head is essentially just one big bandage, but she felt like a slight something be laid on top of it. And she thought to herself, what was that? Like, what is that about? And then it hit her because as soon as they arrived in the exorery room, it was removed. She was being covered so that no one would see her face as she was being transported through the hospital. So she still had no idea the extent of her injuries.

And in this moment, she was like, oh, God, what is wrong with my face? Like, this is when it started. Yeah, whatever it is so bad that the public can't see it. Yeah, right. The x-rays complete, she was wheeled back into her room where her six brothers were awaiting her. But so were a handful of reporters who had made their way into the hospital after the news that the brutal attack leaked. They were waiting for her? Waiting for someone to give a statement.

One of her family members, her, Trevor, Trevor's family, like, they wanted information on this. Fuck off. What year is this again? This is in 1983. Oh, okay. So I was going to say, can't they just call? Why are they? Yeah, no, they're there physically.

Yeah, but still. And to get, like, get people privacy. That's so messed up. You know, I know. Growing up outside of Calgary, their large family spent a lot of time fishing, camping, and hunting. The love of the outdoors touched many of the children, including her brother, Kevin, who had a particular interest in birds early on in life. And he actually joined the Calgary

Bird Club as one of the youngest members. Like usually, you know, birders are, yeah, you know, older. But he was one of their youngest members. And being a part of that club actually led him to his first job at Jasper National Park and then later into various different positions in Kootenay, Banff, and Glacier National Parks. Her brother Bernie worked for a geophysical exploration company. And of course, we know that Trisha loves the outdoors deeply as well. Three of Trisha's brothers, Bernie, Greg, and Tom offered to go back to the park to gather Trisha and Trevor's things, finding themselves restless, waiting at the hospital,

and wanting to be of use. When they arrive at the park, they are informed that the bear responsible for the attack had already been tracked down and killed. Rangers offered the men the chance to see the bear, and they agreed. Bernie, in particular, says of this moment, quote, being in the presence of a bear, that wreaked so much havoc on my family is chilling.

I don't know if it makes me feel much better, though, seeing her dead. She was just an animal doing what animals do. At this point, it is now three weeks after the attack, and Trevor and Trisha have separate but nearby hospital rooms, both of which are decorated with cards, letters of well wishes, and flowers. Combined, they have undergone dozens of surgeries. And of course, Trevor survived,

but he is also badly hurt, just as Trisha is, but just not as significant. Because the bear grabbed his leg. His leg, yes. And we find out a little bit more about what happened a little bit later on. But what Trisha saw was that it grabbed his leg and started mulling him before she turned to run up the tree. So she only kind of glanced at what happened to him. And of course, he was able to, quote unquote run, you know, scramble himself to the boat. You know, he was able, he was ambulatory. Like he was able to walk on his own. He made the three miles. walk. Right. And he was able to do that. So Trisha and him, yes, were both mauled at the same time, but Trisha definitely got the worse of the attack. But obviously, he was still mauled by a bear, by a grizzly. So he's still injured as well. His jaw is wired shut at this point. His face is really swollen and twisted. And the right side of his face was pretty paralyzed at this time.

And his breathing was really labored and shaky. The days are painful for Trisha, but the the nights are too, as she is plagued with reoccurring nightmares about bears. A month passes, and Patricia studies herself at length in the hospital mirror for the very first time. Her hair is cut away, and her scalp is being held together in a patchwork by hundreds of sutures. Drain sticks out from her head and various pieces of her scalp tissue are black and necrotic. Her right eye, which for weeks was way too weak to open without assistance, is now finally strong enough to hold open without aid, but not for a very long amount of time, and the tear duct is destroyed,

meaning that she constantly has to mop away moisture from it with a tissue. Her left cheekbone is completely gone, but she knows that there are plans to reconstruct it in a future surgery by taking parts of her ribs to reconstruct her cheek. Her left eye is covered with skin and muscle grafts from other parts of her body, and there's a small slit in the graft that acts as the opening to her eye as her eyelids were ripped away.

And her damaged left eyeball is tucked behind the skin graft and kept moist with ointment and drops. But it's non-functioning. She can't see out of that eye anymore. Her nose is healing after being broken in several places, but her jaw remains broken, even though it wasn't, they warranted it didn't need to be wired shut, but it's still broken. And there are sutures inside of her mouth that hold her lips open. And the tissue across her face and her scalp are crisscross with suture, scar tissue, or both. Her head, which at one point had swollen to the size of a soccer ball, has come down a bit, but was still aching and puffy.

She was absolutely devastated. She says, quote, I feel sick to my stomach. What I see isn't even me. That's so scary. And that's a month after her attack. And it's the first time she's seeing herself. Yeah. Like she said that she glanced, like if she was passing like a window or something, she would like glance over.

But number one, she only has one functioning eye and the eyelids were so weak that she'd have to like take her fingers and open her eyelid to see for a really long time. And it's at this point that she finally can open her eye on her own for little periods of time. And this was the first time she actually stood in front of a mirror and looked at herself. And just the devastation that emanates through her words in the book is so it's hard. Because I don't want to say that she. was conceded in any way, but throughout her writing, she made a point to say she was really happy with her looks and her life before the attack. And just the disfigurement that came after was something that she grappled with really, really badly. Well, what you look like is a huge part of who you are. And when you look in the mirror, that's, and you see yourself in such a disfigured way and just such a graphic way. I can't even imagine. I mean, it must be so difficult to look at yourself and see that, especially, I mean, she's in her 20s now. She's seen herself for years and years. She's happy with how she looks when you're in your early 20s, especially, I would say that's like

the height of when you really care about what you look like too. I mean, as you get older and when you're younger, you don't care as much, but your 20s is like the time that you care the most. So, I feel so bad. I know. It's hard. Soon after, Steve Herrero, an environmental biologist who had been called by Parks Canada, due to his extensive grizzly knowledge, visited Patricia and Trevor in the hospital. It was the first time that the two had discussed the attack with anyone but each other. Through their discussion, they were told that a bighorn sheep had died of pneumonia roughly 75 feet off the trail, and that was the stench that they had smelled on their way up the trail.

when they thought there was a bear or and then they were like, oh, maybe it's just like a weird plant or vegetation. It was actually this rotting corpse of the big horn sheep and it was really close to the trail. And so when Trevor and Patricia- Oh, so this bear saw them. Right. So that was on their way up that they smelt it, whatever camp for the night and everything was fine. That nasty smell. Mm-hmm.

But when they came back down, Trevor and Patricia approached the area. So on the day of the attack, coming from downwind. So maybe the bear, there was also the thought that maybe the bear didn't know they were coming, didn't hear them or smell them, even though Trevor was singing. So they were making noise. But regardless, they were downwind. And on top of that, so she's already source guarding the kill, the bighorn sheep that had died. They were coming around a corner. So there was like a surprise element. And she had cubs with her. So it's like a trifecta. Wow. So there was just coming on that is a freak accident, obviously on their end. And not a freak. I mean, you're in a national park with bears, but there couldn't have been a worse combination to be walking into. Right. And the cubs weren't small at this point. They were both actually pretty grown about 300 pounds each. So they're not tiny cubs, but they're still her cubs and she's still a mama grizzly. And Steve explained that they actually went, he went, with a crew to go to the area, to set a trap, to remove her from the location. And when they arrived, she was still there and she was charging at them repeatedly. And they had to end up actually killing her in self-defense. So it wasn't their intention to originally go to euthanize her right away. They just wanted to trap her to relocate her. And they ended up just having, I mean, she was trying

to kill them as well. Yeah. And in sharing in this experience and kind of of running through the incident at length for the first time with someone other than Trevor. She felt that sharing the experience was extremely cathartic, but she says the entire time she was physically shaking and trembling and so shaken to the core by just even having to remember and go back to the nitty gritty of the event, just recounting it that the rest of the day she was just so unwell. and then throughout the night she had unrelenting night terrors about it. Trevor and Patricia are now in the hospital at the seven week mark before they are finally well

enough to be discharged. So just shy of two months before they're well enough and stable enough to be discharged out of the hospital. But their journey is far from over. They move back to Patricia's family home for several weeks to make a slow adjustment back to their lives outside of the hospital. They view it as kind of like a halfway house, so they're not well enough to go back to their home completely unassisted on their own, but they're well enough to not be in the hospital. So they go to her family's house. And even though they are discharged, they regularly have to go back

to the hospital for various appointments and surgeries. I mean, between the two of them, they're almost constantly there. Trevor makes it very clear that despite still having injuries, including a wired shut jaw, he is extremely eager to get back outdoors and become active in recreational sports again, it leads to the best of his ability at that time. And while he's itching for it, Patricia is petrified, stating that even the sight of the Evergreens terrified her and how while being outside for the very first time since leaving the hospital, she worried that the plane flying overhead was going to drop out of the sky and crush her. So she is just so traumatized that everything is overwhelming and paralyzing. It's ignited all fear outside.

So being on two wildly different emotional separate pages following the incident starts to really disrupt their relationship. And when they make the move back to their own home and time goes on, Trevor falls back into his quote unquote normal self and doing his best to get back to some sense of normalcy in life. He's outgoing and social again with others. But the rift that starts forming in their relationship leaves him somewhat cold, distant, and uncommunal. with Patricia, which in turn leaves her who is already in such a fragile, emotional state, feeling extremely isolated and lonely. They eventually seek out therapy and go to couples counseling to hash out what has been unfolding at home. Trevor is happy to be alive and wants to take advantage of the second chance that they were offered and is starting to grow really tired of Patricia's night terrors, apprehensions to go anywhere, and the need to continuously talk about the attack at length. So that's his complaints in therapy.

And meanwhile, hers are that she's upset that they both look like this, that they're physically disfigured, that they're mangled and they're no longer themselves. Their relationship is different. Their lives are different. She's upset with Trevor's lack of patience with her. And she's really grappling to understand how it is that he's just kind of moving forward so quote unquote easily. Like to her and her view, he's just putting it behind him and doesn't want to be.

and doesn't want to talk about it anymore. And he's like, well, these are the cards that we have. And there is no other choice. So for him, he feels like she's dwelling on the past and kind of just mulling over events that can't be changed. And to her, she doesn't understand why he doesn't want to process that and that he can just move forward. Yeah. It seems like they're dealing with this really traumatic event in two entirely different ways. And they're just not meeting eye to eye on how, like, it sounds like, it sounds like, he's trying to, the way he's healing is getting back to a normal life and the way that she's healing is that she has so much trauma that she needs to unpack and, like, and figure out before she can do that. And they're just on different wavelengths. Right. Exactly. And, but to them,

you know, with emotions high and having experience it and it's just, it's a really volatile situation, but you're completely right. I mean, looking at it on paper, it's like, okay, these are just different trauma responses. But in the thick of it, it's hard. It's. harder to view that way, especially when you're so emotionally invested. Of course. And you're the one who went through all of it. And yeah. Yeah. And she says of this, I took a direct quote because it's, I mean, it's so on point. She says, quote, I wish it never happened, but it did. I will cry about it and feel sorry for myself. I will cry for Trevor and the distortion his face now wears. I will cry over the changes in our relationship. And I will be

angry that I can never feel the same way about hiking in the Rockies. Grieve the loss of that shared love. I want to feel proud of how far I have come, of doing things my way. I will read about grief and body image and bears until I don't want to delve anymore. People can tell me to stop dwelling on it, to get on with my life, but I am getting on with my life. They can tell me the attack is in the past, but it isn't. I deal with it every day and will for the rest of my life. So that's what she says in response to kind of like the whole kind of attitude and way that Trevor's doing it as far as like, get on with it, blah, blah, blah. And she's like, well, I am. But these are the facts and these are the things that I'm upset and angry about and I'm grieving and it's just my process. So that's kind of her

view on it. She starts taking non-credit courses, writing included, to give her something to focus on aside from that day in September and the unrelenting hospital stays and surgeries that she continues to endure. The in-between stage that she's at now during this point is really difficult to navigate because she's well enough to be outside of the hospital but not well enough to work again in the hospital. So the classes give her something to focus on. Slowly, her and Trevor begin having meaningful conversations, both privately and in therapy sessions about the attack and what has happened in the aftermath, both physically, emotionally, relationship-wise, and that starts to ease the tension between them and things.

start getting better in their relationship. Patricia devours any information she can get on Grizzlies and studies other malling cases, hoping to get perspective into her own malling case. Despite knowing the odds, the statistics, and the rarity of what happened to them, she can't help but worry that it's going to happen again. In the spring, so that happened in the fall, and it is now the next spring, she tries to get outdoors again. She tries going on a hike.

partially to appease Trevor and partially to prove to herself that she can. And she starts small, less than a half an hour outdoors. She's there for maybe 15 minutes, but it's enough to cause a near panic attack followed by unrelenting night terrors. So she's consistently having night terrors, but it kind of ramps up after this. It triggers it. Yeah, but she does continue to try in isolated circumstances to get out even just a little bit. but the entire time she's constantly scanning the tree line. Her heart is pounding. Her hands are sweaty.

Like she's just having such a visceral response. And I mean, it really hasn't been that long. Six months later, she's trying to get out there. She's still going through surgeries. I'm sure she's still healing from the extent of her wounds. I mean, getting out there after such a horrific attack, only six months after while you're still going through all this. I mean, that's huge. And it is. I can see why she's having such a difficult time. She also reflects a lot on the day of the attack going over every little detail, but not just the gruesome ones, the details that led to her coming out alive. A lot of things came together that day. We kind of talked about how, unfortunately, it was like a trifecta regarding the bear attack as far as all the different factors that kind of came into play

at once. But there's a lot of factors that came into play at once on the other end of the spectrum as well. Jim and Joel, the two hikers who came upon the attack site, said that if they hadn't stopped to take pictures, they would have walked right into the attack and may have been hurt themselves, rendering them all helpless and unable to do anything. The weather played a part in saving their lives as well. Their thick clothing protected them from further life-threatening damage, because remember, she had on all the clothes that she brought with her. So she was layered up. And the snow that Patricia laid her head in kept her from bleeding out. The cold constricted their blood vessels and prevented them from bleeding to death on the three-mile hike out. And if Trevor

didn't run the last mile to catch the boat, all while holding his face and his leg together, it would have left the bay as the boat was already in the process of departing. So he really saved them. There's a lot of small miracles that were happening. Despite how horrible it was, there's a lot of small miracles. Patricia didn't learn until much later that Trevor had actually been attacked twice. The bear had switched between going back and forth to each of them each two separate times. So that's why he also got he got hit again. Like when the bear dropped Patricia, it went back to Trevor and then, you know, back and forth until it left. Just over a year after the incident, Patricia goes back to work, choosing to nurse in the orthopedics floor versus going back to the surgical floor that she was at

before the incident. She finds the work extremely rewarding as she is now able to care for others again instead of being the one cared for. And she finds that it feeds a deep need within herself to spend extra time with patients. Something that she really wishes and notes even before the attack that she wish she could have done, she becomes more than just a nurse that takes time to nurse broken bones.

She becomes a patient listener to those with broken spirits, taking extra time to sit and listen to the emotional needs of patients versus just tending to their physical needs. One day, she sees a familiar name. Tom Braden on her floor and recognizes him as being a doctor that first cared for her in the immediate aftermath of the attack before she was transferred to a different hospital. He became a patient after breaking several limbs in a car accident that he survived, but his pregnant wife did not. Patricia spends a lot of time with him and quickly realizes her approach with patients is starting to create a rift between her and other nurses who cast her out of their social group. She comments on this. And again, this is the other direct quote that I took out of the book because it just hit me so deeply because even though obviously I didn't survive a grizzly mauling, I can relate to the sentiment a lot. And I think others can too who go through a traumatic experience and then try and fit back into normal life. Yeah. So she says, quote, the other nurses and I move in separate worlds. I can't relate to the conversations about shopping.

holidays and dinner parties. I am so close to my own suffering and that of my patients that the daily activities of life seem mundane and irrelevant. Nothing but pain seems to have any meaning. So she's just like, I went through something really difficult. These patients are going through something really difficult. I could care less about what, like, you're doing this weekend. You know, it's like she's just so in a different world now that she's finding it really difficult to relate to normal workings of life for people who haven't gone through such a traumatic experience. Yeah. Well, when you've been through things that are really difficult, there's such, other things are so meaningless when you hear other small problems. It's kind of like,

why are you focusing? And I know you said, I feel like a lot of people can relate to it. And immediately I went back to our vet tech days when I was in kidney failure and I was on dialysis and I would come to work and people would be complaining about the stupidest things. And I would just be like, God, you don't know how lucky you have it. Like, just leave that there. It's like the fact that you have the ability to complain about something like this, you should be thankful because there are so much. There are so many things that are bad. And that's not one of them. Right. And that's something you can't teach or preach. It's something you have to experience. And obviously you don't wish that upon anyone. But once it happens to you, it can't be undone. So it's kind of now just this new world that she's existing in. And she finds herself very other from people, not just on that emotional level, but on a physical one as well. I mean, she says repeatedly in this book how difficult it is for her to be out in public or somewhere where people don't know exactly what, like at work, people know.

Like, to a large extent, at least her coworkers and her regular patients. But when she's out at like the grocery store or somewhere else and people are just mouth agape staring at her, it's really hard for her. Well, having a physical change like that. Yeah. And it's something that she really struggles with. So she continues to go to therapy as she's struggling and the sadness and the anger continues. She still has lots of surgeries going on and she's straddling this line of being a nerve. and a patient. In this going back and forth from being stable to recovering from surgery,

being a caregiver, and someone who needs care is really difficult to navigate. Two years after the accident, Trevor and Patricia moved to British Columbia after an internship opportunity for Trevor pops up and they both settle in. They're feeling free from being known as the bear attack victims because in Calgary, that's people know, you know. And so now they're somewhere else, kind of like a fresh start. And Patricia starts making new friends, continues taking classes, and for the first time since the incident feels happy. Her happiness gains traction after learning she was pregnant,

and the couple welcomed their first child, Nicola, into the world. Not even a month later, they relocate to New Zealand for a residency opportunity where Patricia can enjoy the outdoors for the very first time again, because recreating in a landscape, free of large predators, puts her mind at ease and she can actually breathe and enjoy. time outside. Several years and several moves later, Patricia gives birth to twins, Daniel and Ellen. Ellen was diagnosed at birth with Down syndrome and clubbed feet, and the extra care for her puts an added strain on Trevor and Patricia, who at this point now have a toddler, and of course, their

ongoing medical needs themselves that they need to keep up with. Sure. Patricia in particular is constantly having surgeries, now numbering over a dozen, even a decade. later because she is constantly, especially because of her injuries to her face and her sinuses, they keep getting infected. And she has to keep undergoing all of these surgeries to clear out infections and necrotic tissue and obviously plastic reconstruction surgeries. And it's just, it's kind of unrelenting. It's a constant battle. Yeah. She's also in a constant mental and emotional battle along with her physical ones. She tries every single form of therapy she can think of and lots of different medication, but nothing seems to help. And all she wants is to be in the safety

of her home. She struggles significantly as she battles deep depressive episodes, but she pushes on trying her best to raise three children along with nursing her own needs and her relationship with Trevor, which clearly has its ups and downs. And she even goes on to form a Calgary chapter of the nonprofit called About Face, which is a national organization for people with facial differences that provides information, support, and training opportunities. So any facial disfigurement, either congenital like you're born with it or something happens in a traumatic incident, she lends her voice to that group to provide support for people experiencing that. However, when Nicola, her first born turns eight, Patricia's depression worsens to the point

of suicide contemplation. She mentally checked. out of her life at this point in almost every way. And Trevor had been acting as a single parent for quite some time. On top of her own grief for what she said before, her life, her relationship, what happened to her physically. Her father and one of her sisters had died now at this point and her constant physical battles with surgeries and infections and pain mount to this unbearable level that she is seriously considering taking her own life. So at Trevor's urge, She agrees to be admitted into a psychiatric hospital. It would be the first of eight admissions over the next year and a half.

Wow. She also loses a baby at 20 weeks but becomes pregnant again and gives birth to a healthy baby boy that they name Will. She is still in and out of the hospital undergoing surgeries and psychiatric treatments. She constantly is fantasizing at this point about dying and what it would feel like to be out of excruciating physical and emotional pain. the night terrors worsen and spill into terror at all hours of the day. So now she's having day terrors or I don't know what the phrase is, but she's just always racked with these visions of the attack itself and then just different worst case scenarios and possibilities. And she's just having a really hard time. Sounds like severe PTSD. Yes. And I kind of wonder too if a lot of this

is being triggered with postpartum depression too because it's like it's so. She has a lot going on. And she had a miscarriage, she had three babies. Yeah. Her hormones are everywhere. She's in pain. She's like dealing with this daily reminder of the attack. She has PTSD. It just like it feels like there's so much that's going against her to make her life very, very hard.

Yep. And all of this as this is just a daily struggle, she attempts to end her life and is sent away to a larger psychiatric hospital where her struggles continue. After several long agonizing months, she is discharged, but is sent back and forth as time goes on and attempts to end her suffering continue. She is diagnosed with a plethora of different disorders, but one of which she resonates with profoundly, a relatively new diagnosis for the time, PTSD. She is referred to a new psychiatrist named Dr. King who helps her work through her PTSD and her life starts to turn around. Because up until this point, she was kind of lost as to why she was feeling these certain ways and was not really understanding the patterns in which she was being triggered and just, I mean, there was just such little information at the time about PTSD.

And so finally, she just describes like it being explained to her and presented to her. And she's like, oh, my God, this is it. Yeah. And having a diagnosis and a treatment plan is like, I feel like that's light at the end of the tunnel. like, okay, we know what this is. There's options for me finally. Right. So let's start working with it. So her work with Dr. King really turns things around for her for a little bit. And her life starts to turn around. Even though she still struggles, she is out of the comatose states that she was in. And she has glimmers of hope for her future. Trevor had built them a brand new home, complete with a

room for Patricia of her very own that she could go and write in, which was something that she had been doing that brought her a great amount of peace, even though it was really. difficult because she was writing about the attack. And obviously that transformed into this book. Hiring a nanny helped leaps and bounds as well and gave Patricia time to focus on healing inside and out because obviously even just any mother can attest to you you have minimal time to care for yourself, let alone a self that is in significant need of special time and care. So she starts taking that time with extra support with the kids to do things that fill her up and make her feel better. She rests every day. She writes. She takes time for herself and just different

things that she needs. And the extra weight that she gained from being on almost a pharmacy worth of different medications starts to come off in a healthy way. And she starts feeling bits of herself kind of come back, even though this is now nearly a decade after the attack. The highs and lows, Patricia and Trevor, go through as a couple rise and fall through the years. They struggle with their relationship, especially when Trevor falls into a deep depression himself after the passing of his mother, but their deep, unmovable love for one another binds them together despite all that life has thrown at them. Patricia's love for her four children in particular give her the most strength despite the roller coaster of personal ups and downs, and she describes them as her saving grace.

In the final pages of her book, The Bears Embrace, Patricia writes, quote, I am alive and a part of this world. I have a loving partner and four beautiful children to share my journey. I am a survivor of illness, depression, and suicide attempts. Of a savage anguish rendered voiceless by my fear of rejection, I am the survivor of a grizzly bear attack. On a narrow ledge beside me is a tiny grizzly carved from turquoise. I take it down from time to time and hold it, running the tip of my finger over the minuscule hump on its back.

I bought it after hearing how some believe a person attacked by a bear assumes that bears wisdom and powers. Only now am I starting to know. And that is where her book ends, and it was published in 2001. Sadly, on December 14, 2005, Patricia ended her life at the age of 47 in a hotel room in Colwana, Canada. Her family stated that the long-lasting effects of everything that followed that September day in Waterton Lakes National Park were to blame for her ultimate decision. And her brother Kevin said of Patricia's death, quote, What we keep reflecting on is not why she died when she did, but how she lasted this long. She'd had countless surgeries. And this isn't part of his quote, but I looked it up.

And at the time of her death, she'd had over 30 surgeries. Wow. Chronic pain and major episodes of post-traumatic stress. And I looked up her obituary. And it's long. I didn't include it all. But in part, it says, quote, after a lengthy, illness, Patricia Ann Van Teagueam-John's finally found peace on Wednesday, December 14th, 2005.

She is survived by her beloved and cherished children. And I do want to note that the obituary lists the children's names, which are different than they are in the book. So I'm assuming that she changed them for privacy reasons. So I kept the names that she chose in the book. And I'm just, I'm not going to read them here because she obviously made that decision for a reason. Born and raised in Calgary, Patricia graduated from St. Mary's High School and later completed the nursing program at Mount Royal College. In 1989, she received her Bachelor of Science, Nursing, with distinction from the University of Victoria. Patricia served proudly as a nurse at the Calgary Foot Hills Hospital. Despite requiring multiple surgeries, enduring chronic pain and suffering episodic mental illness, Patricia was an understatedly effective volunteer. She established a Calgary branch of About Face, which supports people with facial disfigurement. After the birth of her daughter, Patricia made significant contributions to ups and downs,

a resource for families of children with Down syndrome. She recently initiated an information night and support group for Nelson parents addressing the developmental challenges of special needs children. And beyond those endeavors, Patricia gave inspirational public addresses and wrote with brave candor, attracting national and international media attention.

Patricia was perhaps best known as an award-winning author, in particular for her novel The Bears Embrace. This work began as a therapeutic attempt to deal with the lasting pain, disfigurement, and trauma of the grizzly bear attack. Patricia survived in 1983. To her humble surprise, the book became a Canadian bestseller. Patricia will be remembered with enduring affection, admiration, and respect also for her remarkable kindness, insight, and strength of spirit in the face of unending tribulation.

Patricia Murmains a great blessing in the lives of those she touched, including her many, many friends. Trevor went on to have an extremely successful medical career. He worked as an emergency room physician for over 25 years, served as the regional long-term care medical director, and served on the Interior Health Medical Advisory Committee and the Ethics Committee, before shifting his focus to elderly and palliative care, tending to patients in the very last months of their lives. A large part of his work revolves largely around having tough conversations about dying, specifically around end-of-life planning. And he is recognized as an active advocate of improved quality of life for seniors and those who are at the end of their lives.

And he was also recently nominated for Nelson's Citizen of the Year. Cript Lake Campground, where they stayed, is no longer. So you can't camp there anymore. It's been shut down. But the trail is still incredibly wildly popular, but there are often warnings in place for bear activity in the area. So as always, it's a good idea to check in on things like that for any trail you hike just to see if there's any active warnings in the area, but especially here, especially in Grizzly Country. And very lastly, if you're struggling, help is out there. There are many different resources to lean on, but you can always call 9-88, which is the suicide and crisis lifeline.

or you can text 741 741 for free 247 for support via text. And that is the end of my story. Wow. Well, that was devastating and inspiring all in one. What she went through in her life and the book that she wrote and the things that she did despite what she went through. And I liked the part where you said that their family is focusing on how she survived for so long because it's. Right. It sounds like the way that she was living was so hard. And she really, it's so unfortunate that it ended the way that it did. But she was pushing and trying for so long. And she was living in a way that I think a lot of us can't imagine just because of the severe PTSD and the constant pain that she's in. And that's a hard way. It's a hard way to live. And the things that she was able to accomplish, despite that she was going through that is very, very inspiring. It is. And, you know, it's, I feel like, like I kind of alluded to in the intro that we, a lot of times we just see the good that people make out of certain situations. And that's not always the case. Like, yes, she did do a couple of speaking engagement. She wrote this book. But it, the book wasn't, it was so raw. And like her obituary stated, it started as a therapeutic exercise. It wasn't meant. It was. It was. It was. It was meant.

to be like, this happened, but look what I did. And Nora McInerney, who is the author that I really love, I talked about during my Ode to Ian episode, that she's the author of Hot Young Widows Club. She lost her husband, her baby, and her dad all in the span of like two months. And she's just a really great writer. But she has this saying that she says, when life gives you lemons, you are under no obligation to make lemonade. Like just because something bad happens to you, it doesn't mean that you now have this obligation to transform it into good. And I think that a lot of times we have that like expectation and mentality of others, you know, like not only for ourselves, but for others when you see someone come out of something on the other side. So like on the up and up, kind of like Trevor, you think that that's how it's supposed to go. But that's not always the case and that's not everyone's experience. And it does. doesn't mean that it's any better or worse or there's no right or wrong way. It's just it is what it is. And so even though Patricia's story was really difficult and I definitely recommend the book if you want to learn more

because, I mean, this was already really long, but the details that she writes are, they're painful, but they're accurate to her experience and there's no sugar coding it. And it's just is what it is. And sometimes things happen that you have a hard time recovering from. And that's just how it is. You don't owe anybody something. Sometimes things are bad. Yeah, sometimes things are bad. And period. Right.

End of story. And it's just you have to. I think that that's such an important sentiment because I think especially in the age of social media and just that everything is supposed to be pretty and butterflies and that a lot of people put on this face that things are really good when they're not to be able to talk about things and just say, hey, things aren't good. things aren't better, things aren't getting better, and that's okay because there's other people who are sharing that experience and they need to hear that. It's not like, oh, this was so bad, but I'm like on the up and up and things are better. I've made this bad situation better, which is obviously nice when people are able to come back from something that is hard. That is obviously, it's great. But also, we have to recognize that in that same breath, that it's okay, that something is just really bad and really hard. And maybe that's, sit for now. Like maybe the comeback is a long way down the line and maybe the comeback is just realizing it's bad. Maybe that's just it. Maybe just talking about it and saying it's bad, you know. And just recognizing the experience for what it is and how you're experiencing it. Like obviously Trevor and Patricia processed the same thing in extremely different ways and obviously

led to different outcomes. But it doesn't mean that one is right and one is wrong. It's just how it unfolded and how different people process different things. So in short, that's why I was really, like I said, I had this plan for later, but I don't know. I just felt like now was the time to share it. And I don't know why. But I'm just, I hope everyone got something out of that, even though it was, it was tough. But yeah, I think the Bears Embrace. I got it on Amazon, but it said I got the last copies. So like, sorry, guys. Maybe they restocked. No one else can read it now. But yeah, so that's that. And again, the resources that I listed at the end will be in the show description. So I think that's it. Well, thank you for sharing her story. Yes, thank you for listening. Everyone enjoy the view.

But watch you're back. Bye. Bye. Thank you so much for joining us again this week. If you have a trail tale or story suggestion, send us an email at Stories at N-Pad-D-Podcast.com. Follow us on Instagram and Facebook at National Park After Dark and on Twitter at NPAD podcast. Join our Outsiders-only community on Patreon or Apple subscriptions to listen ad-free, unlock monthly bonus episodes, and exclusive content. And remember, when you support our sponsors, you are supporting our show. For our exclusive discount codes and source information from today's episode, check out the show notes. For more information on our show, our book recommendations, merch updates, and more. visit our website at npaddpodcast.com.

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