National Park After Dark - Trail Tales 25

Episode Date: March 16, 2023

Today’s stories include polite robbers, stumbling upon baby bears, foaming pants, nature being metal, chaotic urination and grand misadventures. Outsiders Only bonus stories available on Patreon for Apple Subscribers!We love our National Parks and we know you do too but when you're out there, remember to enjoy the view but watch your back. Please take a moment to rate and subscribe from wherever you’re listening to NPAD! Become part of our Outsider family on Patreon to gain access to ad-free episodes, bonus content, and more. Follow our socials Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. To share a Trail Tale, suggest a story, access merch, and browse our book recommendations - head over to our website.Thank you so much to our partners, check them out!Miracle Made: Use our link and code NPAD to save over 40% and get 3 free towels.Apostrophe: Use our link and code NPAD to get for first visit for only $5.Beam: Use our link and code NPAD to get up to 40% off at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Limitless. Now open your eyes. Go to Monday.com. Start for free and finally. Breathe. Girl, winter is so last season. And now spring's got you looking at pictures of tank tops with hungry eyes. Your algorithm is feeding you cutoffs. You're thirsty for the sun on your shoulders.

That perfect hang on the patio sundress. Those sandals you can wear all day and all night. And you've had enough of shopping from your couch. Done hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear up on that envelope? It's time for a little in-person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross. Work your magic. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to National Park After Dark Trail Tales edition.

We have a lot of really, really cool stories. Today, as always, you have all brought the really exciting trail tales. If you want to write in your own and you haven't yet, our email is NPAD Stories at Gmail.com. Just send them our way. But today, we each have three stories that we're going to tell, plus a bonus one if you are on Patreon or if you subscribe on Apple Podcasts, you will get our bonus trail tales as well. So there are four stories each. It's a lot of stories. Sometimes I question when we're on here for an hour and a half. I'm like, how did this happen? I'll go first. All right. Mine is titled, NPAD caused me to stumble on a baby bear in Yosemite National Park. Hi, Danielle and Cassie. I stumbled upon a baby bear while hiking in Yosemite and it was all thanks to

you at National Park After Dark. The story of how this ended up happening, how I was in the exact right place at the right time is quite a long story with a lot of layers. Sorry, please bear with me. Get it? Bad pun, I know. I like it. Starting off strong. My name is Mary. Feel free to use it in the episode. And I moved to California a little over a year ago from Washington, D.C., where I grew up. Moving across the country is not the easiest, and I found out the hard way that making friends as an adult is really difficult. I quickly turned to an old habit of playing familiar TV shows on a loop to drown out my thoughts and the increasing feelings of anxiety. There is an open space close to my neighborhood and through some trial and error after the move,

I found hiking in this area to be a great workout and being in nature helped to treat some of the anxiety. Your podcast showed up on my friend's Instagram story about three months ago while I was trying to find another podcast to listen to on my hikes. I just finished cereal, also highly recommend, and I was instantly addicted. Over the last three months, I have binged most of your episodes currently on episode 81, unfinished business at Crater Lake. The first time I cried to your podcast, but certainly not the last, was during episode nine, Patagonia, the death of a conservation legend. I absolutely lost my shit while summiting Mount Diablo and Walnut Creek, California. At the same time, you had gotten to the climax of that episode and vowed then and there to spend

more time exploring the wild places and to see everything our awesome little blue marble has to offer. In order to hold myself accountable and have something to work towards, I made a goal to summit half dome in Yosemite National Park next summer if I can get a permit. I continued to listen to National Park after dark while hiking. I became better at checking the weather before leaving for hikes after the Jenny Lake Rangers episode, brought bear bells and spray after the night of the grizzlies and started leaving itineraries in my dash after Carlsbad Caverns. I have doubled the amount of time I spent outdoors and have been exploring in a safer way ever since I started listening to For my birthday, December 8th, yay, fellow Sagittarius.

Woohoo! I dragged my family to a cabin in Groveland, California, a very small town outside of Yosemite. We drove around Yosemite the first day there, and I introduced my dad to the podcast during the drive. We listened to Trail Tales 13, and my dad thought of the story of the backpacker who clapped twice and heard someone clap back to him. It was absolutely hilarious and could not stop joking about it for the rest of the day,

randomly clapping his hands twice at various stops around the park. The next day, we were going to leave the cabin at around 6 a.m. So we could start our first hike of the day at around 7.30 a.m. It is 6 a.m. the next day, and as I am about to walk out the door, I stop dead in my tracks. I haven't downloaded any NPAD episodes to my phone, and I know I'm going to lose service during the hike. I stop and make my dad wait 15-ish minutes as I download the next few episodes of your podcast. We decided to start the morning with the Columbia Rock hike, a scenic overlook on the Upper Yosemite Falls Trail, a heavily traffic trail rated moderate on the all trails app.

This hike provides beautiful views of haftome and L cap and serves as a good resting point if you are hiking to the top of Upper Yosemite Falls. We started the beginning of the hike up pretty steep switchbacks. My dad right behind me, still stopping to clap twice in an effort to make me laugh. We make it to Columbia Rock and take a minute to eat a snack and enjoy the view. I asked my dad if he was good with going half a mile more up the trail to a vantage point where you can see Upper Yosemite Falls, then turning around. He says yes, so I put a single headphone in, press play,

and continue listening to the episode I was listening to on the way up. Episode 80, Histories and Hauntings of Theodore Roosevelt National Park. I should mention that when I hike, I look at the ground. I am pretty clumsy and like to watch where I am stepping, and sometimes when I get into the zone, I forget to look up. About a quarter mile into this half-mile trek, I hear my dad say, Mary, stop. In a tone he has not used with me since I was a child, about to make a very dangerous decision.

I freeze, and he tells me to look to my left. I turn my head and see a bear cub about 20 feet away from me. I slowly walk backwards to where my dad is, a little farther away from the cub, but still very close. I asked him if he sees Mama Bear, and he says no. The cub is just pawing at some dirt looking for berries, clearly unbothered by the presence of humans and the bells on my backpack. We were able to snap a few photos and backed away down the trail without seeing Mama Bear.

Trip made. I had not expected to see a bear on this pretty popular trail. However, we were in just the right place at the right time. If I had not started listening to NPAD, had not committed myself to spending more time in the outdoors, had not been choosing rigorous hikes in order to train for half dome, had not dragged my family into the middle of nowhere for my birthday, and had not waited 15 minutes to leave this morning to download some episodes, I would not have had the... wonderful wildlife experience. There are no such things as coincidences. So thank you for assisting me

and manifesting one of the coolest moments I have ever had just in time for my birthday. I have attached some photos of the view of Columbia Rock and the bear. Feel free to share them. I am so sad I'm going to be caught up soon. Episode 92 has just been put out, which means I will be caught up in the next few weeks. However, I am also happy to be caught up soon because I have had an insane to Manifomo every time you have mentioned a trip. I'm excited to actually know about the next one before it gets released and have a chance to travel with some awesome people. You also have a new fan of the podcast, my dad. We listened to the rest of episode 80 on our hike around Mirror Lake later that day and he asked me not to listen to any more until we were on the next hike together. In honor of

meeting our little bear friend, I plan on downloading Night of the Grizzlies and having him listen to those episodes. Before ending my trail tale, I want to thank you both for truly changing my life. My perspective on hiking and wild spaces has truly changed since listening to NPAD. I used to pride myself on being a city girl and thought that nature was not for me. And now my top three places on my list are the mountains of Patagonia, Shalalala, Eco Lodge, and Volcanoes National Park in Rwanda. How I deal with daily anxiety and what I prioritize in my long-term goals have changed for the better. I know I am not the only one who finds solace in your stories.

And I am so excited to see where this podcast takes you both in the future. Forever a fan, Mary. Aw, Mary. That was, that went somewhere different than I thought. It was going. When she was like, saw a baby bear, I was holding my breath. Like, oh, my God. Are you okay?

Were you mad? I mean, you're writing this, so you're okay. Are you okay? That's cool. It is, it never gets old, you know, hearing the ways that people resonate with the content of the show and how it changes little bits of their lives and things. So that's always awesome. It's the best part about making this show.

So thank you for all your kind words. They mean a lot to us. This episode is brought to you by Prime. Obsession is in session. And this summer, Prime Originals have everything you want. Steamy romances, irresistible love stories, and the book to screen favorites you've already read twice. Off campus, L, every year after, the love hypothesis,

Sterling Point, and more. Slow burns, second chances, chemistry you can feel through the screen. Your next. obsession is waiting. Watch only on Prime. All right, my first story is titled New Year's hike turned gunpoint robbery. Oof, okay. Yeah. Hi, Danielle and Cassie. I'm Ariana and have been a podcast fan for a while now and have also gotten a few friends obsessed as well. I was born and raised in Costa Rica and have never lived anywhere else, so listening to the podcast has allowed my mind to wander and plan out what national parks I hope to someday visit around the world. As I'm sure you know,

Costa Rica is full of beautiful wildlife and national parks, and I have been visiting these my whole life and have plenty of stories to tell, but the tale I wanted to share with you today actually belongs to my parents. To give you some context, my mom is from Chicago, and she met my dad in the 80s while studying abroad in Costa Rica. They got married in 1991 and have pretty much lived in Costa Rica ever since. For more context, my dad does not look like your stereotypical Latino. He is very white, blonde, and has blue eyes. 100% thanks to Spanish colonization centuries ago and has been called El Gringo most of his life, but is fully Costa Rican, so it's always been funny that he ended up marrying someone from the U.S.

Now, getting into the story. In the early 90s and recently married, my parents and some friends, another couple who also happened to be recently married and also happened to be a Costa Rican man and a woman from the U.S., decided to go out on a hike on New Year's Eve in Raleilo-Kareo National Park. I'm sure I butchered that. I'm so sorry. Composed mainly of dense rainforest, this park is known for people getting lost and having many unofficial trails and entrances, but it's extremely beautiful. On this day, my parents and their friends got to the entrance of a trail they had been on

before, parked to their car, and began their hike. After a few hours on their way back down to the car, they heard two voices yelling at them in English. Down, down. They turned to see two men in ski masks, one of them pointing a handgun at them. so they did as they were told and got down. The men started searching their pockets and day packs, while my dad, who never quite knows when to shut up,

but does admit he was terrified, starts semi-joking around with them and saying the Costa Rican slaying equivalent of, come on, bro, what you're doing is messed up, man. When they get to take off his wedding ring, he said, take everything else, but don't take my ring, dude. We just got married. Then one of the friends who was with them spoke up,

and she too said, hey, they already took my ring. And shortly after my mom joined in two. The guy who seemed to be in charge, stayed quiet for a bit and then told the other one, all right, give the ladies their wedding rings back. My dad remembers distinctly how he put the gun on the floor, started rummaging through his pockets until he found the ring, took their friend's hand, and put her wedding ring back on her finger. That was nice. I know, it's like, oh, thank you, actually. Then they kept looking through their day packs, seeing what else they could find, while my dad kept saying, come on, man, it's New Year's Eve, so not cool. They then find my dad's wallet, and as they're putting it away, my dad spoke up again and said,

take the wallet, but at least give me my ID and driver's license so we can get back home. And the robber, again, did what my dad said and put his ID and license down. Once they were about to leave, one of the robbers said, before we go, where the fuck are you guys from? We thought you were all gringoes, since my dad had been speaking fully in Costa Rica and Spanish the entire time. He answered, I'm from Aluela. What about you? Of course, they didn't answer, but instead told them that they had to stay down for 10 more minutes while they got away, and then they could get up and leave.

After 10 minutes, they walked the remaining 500 meters to the car and found their tires slashed and windows broken where the Roberts had taken everything in the car. Luckily, nothing of value except for their friend's Nikon camera. They changed the tire and drove over to the Park Ranger Station where they were actually scolded and told that the trail they had been on was closed at the moment. and that they shouldn't have been on there. Although the access was completely open, and there were no signs anywhere indicating that it was closed.

So basically, no help from the Rangers. When they got home, they were finally able to call their banks and credit card companies to cancel what the robbers had taken. They thought that was the end of it until about a month later when they got their credit card statements in the mail and saw that the robbers had gone to a supermarket and bought over $200 worth of groceries,

which in the early 90s was a lot of groceries. They then had gone to a woman's boutique, and had purchased two women's dresses. So in other words, they had thrown a great New Year's Eve party and gotten their wives some nice new dresses. And as my dad likes to say, at least they were robbers with good family values. Now, every year around New Year's, we joke about the story and hope the robberds had a great time at the party my parents and their friends sponsored.

Sorry for the long story. Thanks for reading and hope you found it as entertaining as I always have, especially that ending. Best, Ariana. That's terrifying. also like the most polite people that you could be robbed by. It's like, come on, like not the wedding ring. And they're like, oh, that is kind of fucked up here. Fine. I know. I know. But I will say it's got to be a hundred percent because her dad was able to communicate with them. Yeah, for sure. You know,

even if they understood English and they were like, come on, please, like whatever, they probably would have just straight up. Well, I bet when they heard the, like the Costa Rican slang accent, whatever, They were like, oh shit, you're actually from here. Well, obviously in the story. You were like, wait a second, where are you from? So they realized, you're like, shit, we're robbing our own. But we have a party to throw, so we got to complete this. But here's your, here's half your stuff back.

Right. That's a good one. All right, my next one is titled, What the Fuck? Why are my pants foaming? Foaming or filming? Foaming. Oh, okay. Hi, ladies.

hopefully this trail tale offers a little comedic relief to you and your listeners. Love your podcast, infectious love of all things outdoors, and have loved the Bigfoot and spooky stories too. You can use my name. My name is Sarah and my husband Bradley and I have always loved hiking and camping, mostly around the North Carolina Appalachian Mountains, and your podcast has been an awesome inspiration to keep getting out there and trying new adventures. This story does not involve a vicious murder, a near-death experience, or even an alien in California. but I am sure you'll find a certain relatability to it. My husband and I traveled to Gracen Highlands State Park in the Mountains of Virginia in June of 2021.

If you haven't been here, it's a gorgeous park offering sweeping views of the Appalachian Mountains and is part of Mount Rogers National Recreation Area. Grayson Highlands lies within the Jefferson National Forest. One really fun and unusual feature of the park are the wild ponies roaming around the valley. They were introduced to maintain the grassy lands and brush along the the Appalachian Trail. Ponies eat the brambles and brush and the hikers trail is cleared. A win-win situation. While this was a success, the unintended consequences was the ponies got very used to people. If you visit, you will likely see these four-foot-tall ponies up close and you may even be approached

by a curious one. On this trip, we even had a baby come sniff us. So cute. While I enjoy hiking, I am not the fittest of hikers. Living in Wilmington, North Carolina, we are right at sea level. It's a running joke between my husband and I to try and find the biggest hill in Willamington. We often judge the height of the potholes to see if they qualify as the largest change in elevation for the day. Typically when we go mountain hiking, we try to keep the routes between two to five miles and read reviews on all trails prior to planning our trips. The best day hiking for us would be a challenging for us trail with a waterfall or a peak view while making it back in time for a brewery, late lunch, slash early dinner, and then back to the campsite for some rest, tunes, and doggy campfire snuggles. On this trip, however, we plan to challenge ourselves with a longer route.

Our chosen route would go across an open meadow, connect with the Appalachian Trail, through Deep Gap, and Summit Mount Rogers. The hike is 8.6 miles out and back trail and would likely take us most of the day. We planned our water, lunch, and snacks. In the weeks leading up to this adventure, I practiced on the elliptical on the highest incline. I felt strong. I felt prepared. We were going to do this, and it would be awesome.

We had done a few other longer hikes and we were looking forward to this one. While at our campsite the night before, we checked the weather forecast and things were not looking good. The weather was calling for thunderstorms throughout the day. We decided to wait until morning to determine if we needed to change our plans. Weather patterns in the area shifted pretty quickly. Overnight, there was lots of wind and rain. We hoped the storm would pass in the night. In the morning, we were so disappointed to see the likelihood of thunderstorms had actually increased.

We decided we did not want to be in an open valley or on the, summit of a mountain during a thunderstorm and abandon our much anticipated plans. Luckily, the area is full of smaller trails with plenty to see. We decided to take the Cabin Creek Trail, a two-mile easy trek, so if the weather picked up, we could get out of there quickly. In preparation for the original hike, I bought a brand new pair of buttery soft hiking pants from Old Navy. I had not worn them yet, and like most people, I did not wash them prior to wearing them.

I was just going to get them sweaty and dirty anyway. This becomes important later in the tail. wearing my brand new pants, we set off to the Cabin Creek Trail, finding a positive mindset while the weather lightly drizzled. Likely because of the forecast and the sprinkling rain, we had the trail to ourselves when we arrived at the Cascades. The overnight rains transformed the area into rushing beautiful falls. I lounged and ate a snack while my husband took some photos. That's when things changed. The gentle pitter-patter of off and on rain picked up into a raging monsoon. We quickly packed up and began making our way down the trailhead.

Wearing my raincoat and hustling in the rain, I got a little sweaty. The pouring rain let up again, and we slowed our pace. This is where things took an incredibly confusing and embarrassing turn. My husband looked back to me as we were chatting on the trail and gave me the craziest look before asking, are you okay? Confused, I inspected myself. I felt fine, but what I saw was unreal. Between my legs, coming from my crotch, was a white, foamy.

substance. It was dripping down my leg. What the fuck is that? While I brushed it off, I worried. How the hell are my lady parts leaking? What the hell is this? And oh my God, am I dying? These are just some of the thoughts that raised through my mind. After wiping it all away, assuring my husband that I must have just brushed against something sort of weird, like a plant, and hoping to move on and never think of the moment again, we continued to hike. I'm just imagine. husband. Like, are you? What is? What's going down? What's going on down there? So funny. Not even three steps in. The white froth was back. What the fuck? Wiping it away again, I racked my brain. What the hell is happening? My husband was very supportive. He offered his coat to cover me and

never once cracked a smile or took a photo. I declined his coat. I didn't want to get whatever this was on too. We began to pass a few hikers braving the trail. Mortified. It's so funny. Mortified. I foamed on. I foamed on. Like crying. I'm like trying to guess like myself like what this is. And I hope she tells us. But this is so funny. Looking back, I wondered what they thought of me. With every step more white dripped from my nuthers. To try and paint a better picture, it was specifically... You don't have to. We can picture it. We get it. It was specifically coming from my crotch. It looked like it was coming out of me if you catch my draft. We get it. It was white, thick, and a little bubbly, and foam-like. It made my pants wet around where it was settling,

leaving a wet spot with the white in the middle until I wiped it away. It was oddly sexual, even though I knew damn well, we hadn't done that. And even if we did, it wouldn't do this. She's like, I swear, we didn't do anything. There's no reason for me to be following. I'm really crying. Finally, we completed the trail to get to the car. We had to walk along a roadway.

As cars passed, it kept happening. I have not felt this level of embarrassment since the angsty middle school years. Once in the car, after a deep breath and settling into the calm of privacy resulting from the embarrassing episode, I think I figured it out. My new buttery soft pants must have been treated with some sort of substance to make them soft to the touch. When that came in contact with a combination of rain, sweat, and the friction of my legs rubbing together hiking, the end result was my foaming crotch.

I have scoured the internet to find someone, with a similar experience, but so far I think it's unique to me. It has taken some time for me to transition from this being an embarrassing memory into a story that I can share and laugh about. And here we are. So enjoy the view, watch your back, and always wash your new pants. Girl. So funny.

I literally have never heard of anything like that. I want to know if this has happened to anyone else. We need everyone whose pants have foamed while hiking to step forward now. We need answers. I don't even have anything else to add. I feel like I'm high right now. Like, it's that funny. I'm not.

So funny. Okay. Well, thank you. That was hilarious. Thanks. Yeah. Whoa. Okay.

It's just to have it coming from that specific area. I mean, I know I guess it's like the area of most friction. Like, if it truly was like a combo of all that. Yeah. Getting lathered up in there. I guess. Just. I don't know I can see it.

Danielle, but she's literally like convulsing and crying. I just can't move on. Like, I don't know what's happening to me. Okay. Jesus. Okay. The next story I have is titled something. It ties.

The title is something you absolutely don't want to see, but also can't look away from. This is that someone saw her on the trip. Is that your trail to? Okay. All right. No. But, ooh, God, that was perfectly aligned. This episode's probably so annoying to listen to. With us so much laughing. Okay, I'm done. All right. Well, that's the title. Hello, ladies. My name is Nikki. My husband and I discovered your podcast a while back and have enjoyed listening on our many road trips. We love it, especially when we can find an episode that correlates with where we're headed. Although we may have intended to always listen together, I love the show so much that I, not regrettably, often listen without him. Sorry, Wes.

After all, every daycare run needs a good soundtrack. You ladies are wonderful, and I appreciate what you have made for all of us eager listeners. Keep doing the most. My story takes place in Glacier National Park back in 2012. Feels like a lifetime ago. I spent the summer working at a restaurant in the St. Mary section of the park. Shout out to the Park Cafe and any fellow trons that listened to the podcast. That summer was surreal for me as I'm from Maryland and have never had a job in a location so beautiful.

I felt incredibly grateful for the opportunity to be able to hike all the time and take in the breathtaking views that glacier provides around every corner. One day I was hiking with several co-workers to Red Rock Falls in the many glacier section of the park. The day was going well and we were enjoying our views as we approached Red Rock Lake. Upon one of our many photo op breaks, my friend noticed there were two grizzlies grazing in the field on the other side of the lake. Normally we'd be nervous seeing bears, but they were way over there. We continued down the trail, watching as they too headed in the same direction as us, though still on the opposite side of the shoreline. Up ahead, but still, again, way, way far from where we were walking,

we noticed a moose and her calf meandering along the lake shore. We stood and took in the sight of both sets of animals for several moments. How lucky were we to have seen bears and moose on the same hike within several minutes of each other, and at a far enough distance to not feel even a slight twinge of nervousness for our safety to boot. Our feeling of blissful amazement was short-lived, however, as we all started to get a shared feeling of what was about to come. We noticed the direction that the bears were heading was straight towards the moose. We all started shouting forms of, run moose, of course knowing our safe distance away would keep them from hearing us at all. As the bears got closer, they started to pick up speed and were now running straight towards the moose.

We could tell they were very much aware of the bear's presence by now, as they too started to run, but it was soon clear that Mama Moose and her calf were no match for these two full-sized grizzlies. Unfortunately, after a short chase, the bears cornered the calf. This was not for lack of trying to put up a fight by the mom. However, she was fierce in her fight and continued to circle the bears as they had pulled the calf up onto the shore. I'll never forget the sound of the Mama Moose's cries, as she watched on in horror, much like we were. Her baby was gone. We were all crying and could not believe what we had just witnessed. Though incredibly shaken up, we realized that this was a once-in-a-lifetime encounter and couldn't help but

keep watching. We stayed for a bit, still looking on an absolute shock, but I do not believe we finished our height to Red Rock's Falls that day. I understand this is a normal part of life in the animal world, but to see it was so sad. Thankfully, I had no more similar encounters with the wildlife that summer, which was very okay with me as witnessing one attack was plenty. Thank you again for all that you ladies do. And if you read this, I will just about lose it. Will I lose it in my car, driving to soccer? Will I lose it while washing dishes or while taking a shower? Who knows? As I take you ladies everywhere. I've included some photos of the attack. Enjoy the view, but keep your distance. There's photos of the attack? Yeah. Oh, seven. Oh, shit. Wow.

I mean, but it is from far away. It is from far away. Like you can make out what is a moose and what is a bear. But yeah, they are from clearly the other side of the shoreline. But I just read this and I was like, nature is metal, baby. Yeah, it really is. I mean, that's such a cool thing to see because it is a once in a lifetime, but it's also really, really sad. Well, it also reminds me of not too long ago that viral video that was going around of, and again, I'm laughing, it's not funny, but of it was like those people getting married in Glacier. Oh, and then suddenly a bear mauled a baby moose. A baby moose like across the lake behind them.

And it was screaming and everyone was like, holy shit, like in the middle of their ceremony. Like, excuse me. We're busy. This is traumatic for everyone. Is that like a bad omen at your wedding? I don't, I mean, it feels like it, but it also, it depends on your perspective, like, once in a lifetime thing. Yeah, I guess that's true. And it was like much closer than this.

Yeah. But yeah. I mean, I've never seen. I don't think I've ever seen anything close to that. No. Have you? No. I've heard like Fisher Cats killing things.

And I've heard like things being, like things being attacked at night, like coyotes and stuff in the distance. But I've never seen anything like that. Well, maybe when we're in South Africa. Yeah, maybe. All right. I have a, no. I feel like I picked funny stories this time. This one is titled, P in the Woods Horror Story.

Hey ladies, I have a very lighthearted trail tale stories that I hope can make you both giggle. I grew up in Oregon with an avid outdoorsman father, so our family vacations were always camping and hiking and taking in all the beautiful Oregon landscapes. As an adult, I still love the outdoors, but in comparison to the crazy adventures in Oregon, I like to call myself outdoorsy light, aka day hikes only, 15 mile max, no overnight backpacking, and highly preferred real toilets for when nature calls. Outdoorsy light? Yeah.

Am I that? Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Indefinitely that. That's my preference. Jump to the summer of 2019. I had just started dating my now husband.

My husband is way more intense than me when it comes to hiking adventures. He even had to be saved by search and rescue one time. A story for another day. But thankfully, he never pushes me outside of my comfort zone. About a month and a half into dating, we decided to get. get away for a weekend to his family cabin in central Oregon. Since we were very newly dating, we were both still figuring each other out. I had told him I loved hiking, but did not disclose my outdoorsy light preference. Our first day at the cabin, we started out on a moderate out-and-back

hike within Mount Hood National Forest that was not very far from his family's cabin. About an hour into the hike, my worst fear happened. I had to pee and there was no outhouse in sight. I hate peeing in the woods or having to squat somewhere all exposed. I know it's easy and simple, but I have always hated it since I was a child. Now in an infant relationship with a true outdoorsman, I had to go off and pee in the woods. Someone gift her a shewi. Yeah, shewi comes in clutch. I've never used one, but it feels like it would be helpful. Peel like a man. Peel like a man. Yeah, you don't have to, you don't, right? The whole thing is you don't have to squat. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And you can just like, yeah.

You don't like pee in your shoes or your pants or something. I told my now husband I had to pee and was going to go off trail away so he wouldn't hear or see me. I tried to hide my internal panic since this was my least favorite thing to do. I went off trail away and did what my mother taught me. Find a tree to hang off of while you pee so it does not get all over your legs and pants. I found a tree that was big enough to hold my weight but small enough that I could wrap my arms around. I pulled my pants down and held onto the tree to squat to start peeing. As I start peeing, I feel something shift within the tree, and suddenly, the entire tree starts falling down.

The forest ground was so covered that I did not see or realize that this tree base was rotting, and it was ready to fall down at any minute. As soon as I hung my weight off the tree, the entire thing came crashing down. While peeing, I fell back and tried to throw my body to the side so as not to be crushed by the falling tree. I avoided the tree falling on me, but ended up with my pants down in the dirt and leaves with pee all over my legs. I can only imagine how I looked with my very white bare ass falling backwards into the dirty ground. I sat on the ground frozen after it happened in shock that I was alive and in terror. I never knew my least favorite way to pee could be worse. After a minute, I got myself together and started walking back to the trail,

embarrassed beyond belief, and super sore from falling. As I was walking up, my now husband's face was just in shock, and he asked, What happened? I heard a really large boom. I then had to tell him how I was peeing and managed to pull down an entire tree. Bless his heart, he tried not to laugh, but he asked me through his giggles if I was okay. I told him I was fine and that we should keep going, but half an hour later, my butt that was

slightly sore became throbbing pain and we headed back. I ended up with a giant bruise on my butt, but with a very funny story I tell to people at parties. My husband loves to tell everyone that when I pee in the woods, I take down entire trees. And if you're wondering, now whenever I am forced to pee in the woods, I triple check that the tree can support my weight. Thank you for this amazing podcast. It has been such a wonderful comfort listen as I now navigate infertility issues and endless doctor appointments. Whenever I get bad news or go another month not getting pregnant, I listen to one of your stories. to escape. Thanks, Sam. And then she followed up with a second email about a week later, and she wrote,

not sure if you will ever read my story, but I wanted to follow up that about a week after sending this, I found out I was finally pregnant. I am currently exhausted, caring for my perfect baby girl, Emmy Lou, who is a week and a half old. During nights, I play your podcast to keep myself awake and entertain my brain without distracting my baby. Thank you both for the show. Emmy Lou's first big trip is going to be when she's six months old, and we have. are going to Glacier. We had tried to go to Glacier last year, but had to cancel our trip since I was newly pregnant and sick all the time. It feels like everything has come full circle. Emmy Lou will be raised to love national parks and watch her back. Thanks, Sam. Oh my God, that's so sweet.

What a lovely story just all around. Yeah. And congratulations. It's very exciting. Oh, yeah. Wow. Yes, congratulations and welcome to the world, Emmy Lou. This one is titled, We Went to the Grand Canyon twice, but never saw it. My name is Stephanie. Yes, please use it, because if I hear you read this on the podcast, I'll surely feel like a celebrity. I'm a new listener, but after hearing a few trail tales, I figured I could share my trail adjacent story. A few years ago, my then-boyfriend, now husband and I took our very first long-distance road trip together. We live in Texas and Las Vegas was our destination, with a few stops along the way, of course. Now, everyone knows me as a super planner.

I plan everything in great detail. even made a whole binder for this trip, detailing places to eat along the way and what dishes to order, sightseeing spots, roadside attractions, you name it, I planned it. I booked hotels months in advance for our stops along the way, determined what time we needed to leave X to arrive to Y, by Z o'clock, maybe it's the anxiety of it all. So with all those months of planning, you'd think everything would go smoothly, right? Right? Of course not. There were many hiccups along the way, but the biggest and most wrench-throwing one was that I forgot to book a hotel for one of the nights on the road.

Notice how earlier in my story I mentioned I book hotels months in advance? Well, I guess I missed one measly night, and it turned out to be the most challenging night of the trip. It all started when we arrived in Albuquerque, New Mexico. We were to spend the night there and most of the following day. Then we leave for our next destination, Flagstaff, Arizona. Not too terrible of a trek, but after having a jam-packed day in Albuquerque, the trip seemed daunting.

Earlier in the day in Albuquerque, I, the notorious planner, was reviewing the day's itinerary when I realized the anxiety-inducing discovery that we did not, in fact, have a place to stay for the night. But no fear. Surely we'll find somewhere in Flagstaff no biggie. But boy, were we wrong. As we approached Flagstaff, my husband got on his phone and started looking up potential hotels. To no avail. He kept getting, sorry, we have no vacancy, responses. Weird, considering this was the week. after Christmas, we figured most folks that were visiting family and staying in hotels would have been checked out by then. But no worries, we'll just adventure on. We made it to Flagstaff and every

single hotel was packed. Parking lots held true to their names. There were no spots anywhere. So our wishful thinking of finding something was instantly crushed. Truthfully, the thing that I found the most odd was that so many license plates at the hotels were Arizona tags. So like, what are you doing? You live here. Trying to remain hopeful, we shrugged it off and went to have dinner at a pizzeria, which too was packed, while we came up with a game plan. Our itinerary for the next day involved visiting Grand Canyon National Park, so we figured we would start heading that way and hope to find lodging along the route. We drove down a desolate road for what seemed like forever with no sign of civilization for miles. Did I mention that we arrived in Flagstaff around eight at night?

So after all of the shenanigans in dinner, it was dark, to say the least. Turn off your lights and you can't see a hand in front of you, kind of dark. We drove past the iconic Grand Canyon National Park sign. We made it, yet still no signs of lodging. We drove further up and saw all of the pay booths were illuminated with bright exes, indicating closed, as if they were mocking us. Feeling defeated, we tucked our tails between our legs and started heading back to Flagstaff. Did I also happen to mention it was December? so it was freezing.

Sleeping in the car was an option that ran across our minds, but considering the fact that we started shivering as soon as we turned off the ignition, it wasn't a viable option. So onwards and downwards we go. South. We headed south. The drive back down to Flagstaff was daunting.

We were getting more and more tired with every mile in the pitch black, and the pitch black made it all the more road hypnotizing-inducing. One of my, if there's time, planned option while in Flagstaff, was to go down to Scot, So that turned out to be our new destination. Surely we'd find somewhere to stay in a bigger town. Along the way, my husband called numerous hotels asking for a room,

and after the fifth or sixth try, we were in luck. There was one room left. Just take my money. With a little more optimism, we kept on down the road. About halfway through the trip to Scottsdale, my husband dozed off. I can't blame him. We had been on the road for a combination of around nine hours by this point after a long day of strolling through Albuquerque.

But sleep deprived me kept waking them up to help me stay awake, especially since it's pitch black and we are driving down the side of a mountain with no guardrails and in some spots steep slopes and curves that sneak up on you. Not safe, everyone. We finally arrived at our hotel around 2 a.m. I sent my husband to check in. The hotel clerk surely surprised that someone is checking in at 2 a.m. We got our room key and staggered in like zombies.

After a few hours of sleep, they graciously allowed us a late checkout, considering our check-in time. We woke up, spent some time in Scottsdale, and headed back up to the Grand Canyon. We got our navigation going and we're off to the races. Our ETA was going to be perfect. We'd arrive about a half an hour before sunset so we would be able to see all the beauty that that brings. As we got closer, we realized that the way the GPS had taken us the night before was different than the route we are now on. But we shrugged it off. Mistake number, who's counting? We started getting a bit weary. Because the closer we got, the ETA got later and later. We came up to a small town type deal, and right after passing through it, boom, absolute bumper-to-bumper traffic. What the hell?

We waited and waited and waited as the sun went down, down, down. We approached the gate as the sun was nearly set. We quickly realized we were not in the right place. The night before, we were rooted to the typical park, get out and see the canyon type deal. that we were expecting. This, though, was the total opposite. We were in sort of a lodging campground type of deal. It was kind of like a town, grocery store and all, and let me tell you, much like Flagstaff, finding a parking spot was an absolute nightmare. By the time we did, it was very dark. We were hopeful that we'd get on a trail and get the canyon in time to see the

sunset. Nope. As we approached the viewpoint on the trail of time, our Grand Canyon seeing dreams were completely smooshed, nothing but darkness. Some stars, but not much to see. Once again, we tucked our tails between our legs and got back on the road. The rest of the trip went as planned. One smallish kind of hiccup isn't too bad. And that is the story of how my husband and I visited the Grand Canyon twice, but never laid eyes on it. And I picked that story because, do you want to guess why? Tell me.

Because what we went through in Paris. Oh, my God, the catacombs. Yes. So we went to Paris before our Egypt trip. We specifically went to Paris. There were layovers there, but we specifically stayed there for two days because Danielle had her heart set on seeing the catacombs. And we got there and there was a nationwide protest and they shut it down for the days that

we were there. So the only reason we went, we couldn't to the country itself. And then remember after that we're like, okay, well, I guess like, so Atlas Obscura is my, like, Bible. Anytime I go anywhere, I see if there's any destinations on Atlas Obscura that I'm interested in. I'm like, all right, what's some backups here? So we're like, we're going through, we're like, we don't even know where we are in Paris. Like, we're on foot. We have no idea where we are. We're looking around and I'm like, oh, this one's close. We get there. It's like, it's an outdoor cemetery and somehow it's closed. It had closed like two minutes before we got there, too.

Yeah, people were leaving. Like, they were leaving the gate and they're like, oh, no, no. And I'm pretty sure it happened one more time with something that I was like, oh, oh, okay, like maybe we'll do this. And then again, it just like didn't work out. I'm like, okay, I'm just not meant to be here. Paris doesn't want me. Yeah, so I feel your pain with not seeing something that you're like trying it over and over to get to. But hopefully in the future you can see the Grand Canyon because it is quite beautiful if my three-year-old brain remembers correctly last time I was there. Yeah, I want to go. I've still never been to the Grand Canyon and it's one that I would really like to get to.

Well, easy enough. Yeah. We'll get there for sure. All right. Let's do our bonus ones for our outsiders. Yeah, all of our outsiders, you get a bonus one. But for everyone else, thanks for joining our Trail Tales. We'll see you next time.

If you want to be an outsider, you can join our Patreon. We also have Apple subscriptions set up. So you can join Apple subscriptions that has ad-free episodes and all of our bonus content on there. But in the meantime, enjoy the view. but watch you back. Bye everyone. See ya. Thank you for joining us again this week. If you have a trail tale you'd like to share, send us an email at NPAD Stories at gmail.com. Follow us on Instagram and Facebook at National Park After Dark and on Twitter at NPAD podcast. Become an outsider by joining our Patreon where you'll

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