National Park After Dark - Trail Tales 27

Episode Date: April 13, 2023

In honor of Ian's birthday, today's stories are all about signs, synchronicities and "coincidences". Outsiders Only bonus stories available for Patreon and Apple Subscribers! Happy (Heavenly) Birthday Ian, we love you so much!We love our National Parks and we know you do too but when you're out there, remember to enjoy the view but watch your back. Please take a moment to rate and subscribe from wherever you’re listening to NPAD! Become part of our Outsider family on Patreon to gain access to ad-free episodes, bonus content, and more. Follow our socials Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. To share a Trail Tale, suggest a story, access merch, and browse our book recommendations - head over to our website.Thank you so much to our partners, check them out!Prose: Use our link for a free in-depth hair consultation and 15% off your first order.Reel: Use our link and code NPAD to get 30% off your first order plus free shipping.Hello Fresh: Use our link and code npad50 for 50% off plus free shipping.Microdose: Use code NPAD to get free shipping and 30% off your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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slash Visit Scotland Hello everyone. Welcome back to National Park After Dark for a very special Trail Tales edition. Yes. So I specially requested Cassie help me out on this. So today, the day we release this episode is April 13th and this is Ian's birthday. So he would have been 29. It's his first heavenly birthday. So because of that, I really wanted to do something special to honor that. And for that reason, today's trail tales are all going to be signs and coincidences, quote unquote, coincidences. No such thing.

No such thing as that. And just all things that kind of Ian's story has inspired through our community. So I'm so excited. Would you like to go first? I would. And I will say I'm going to try very hard to, I'm already feel like. I'm going to cry, but I'm going to really try not to. So hopefully I can get through this.

It's okay. I think if you cry, we're all crying with you, so you're not alone. Okay. All right. So my first story is titled Spirit Phone. Hi, Danielle and Cassie. I hope you are well. My friend recommended your podcast to me in September of 2022, and I'm nearly caught up all

the way. As a fellow New Englander, I really appreciate all the references to the area. You're both incredible and respectful storytellers, and your podcast keeps me company, during my commutes to and from grad school and while I crochet. Thank you for all the great work you do. This story doesn't necessarily take place in a national park or forest, but in a previous trail tale episode, Danielle asked for listeners to send in stories about signs from departed loved ones.

All my love to you, Danielle, by the way, and your family. My story is about a sign from my uncle who passed away in March of 2019. He's interred in a national cemetery, so maybe that counts. It all counts. It doesn't matter. It all counts, yeah. I understand if this doesn't make it into a trail till episode, but I wanted to share this with you anyways as I find it comforting whenever I find myself missing my uncle. Every single night, my uncle Bobby would call my mom, his sister, just to chat about their day, how their kids were, and current events. Uncle Bobby was battling leukemia at the time and unfortunately was hospitalized fairly often due to complications.

On the night of March 1st, 2019, oh, it's March 1st, 2018. In 2020, when we're reading this right now, by the way. Whoa. I just got goosebumps. Okay. No such thing as coincidences. Wow, there's the first one right there. Okay.

On the night of March 1st, 2019, my mom was running errands and was not home for my uncle's nightly call. I answered the phone and talked to him for a bit and let him know that my mom would call him back the next morning. Instead, we received a call that morning from my cousin, informing us that my uncle suffered a cardiac arrest overnight and had passed away. My mom still has not forgiven herself for not being there for his call the night before. During this time, I was in school for my master's degree and had gone to my lab to get some data processing done ahead of the wake and funeral when I would need to be out.

As soon as I stepped into the lab, the morning of March 3rd, the day after my uncle's passing, I received a call from my mom in hysterics. She had just received a phone call from my uncle's personal cell phone number. She answered, thinking maybe it was his wife contacting her, but was greeted with silence. She said hello again, more silence. Then she asked, Bobby, is that you? The phone clicked and hung up. My mom then called my aunt on her home phone and asked if she had just tried to call. My aunt had not called anyone that day.

My mom and I are both convinced that this was my uncle returning that call promised to her on the morning of March 2nd. To this day, nearly four years later, my mom still has the call record saved to her phone's log. I know this isn't a national park-related story, so I understand if it doesn't make the pod. I just thought it was an interesting coincidence that was an extreme comfort during a time of sudden, unexpected loss. Thank you for reading the long-winded email and thank you again for all the work you do. Please keep it up. Kind regards, Abby. This trail tale actually reminds me of a, I guess, another trail tale that is not mine, but is a family member of mine. Oh, okay. And I don't,

I might butcher the detail slightly because I don't know the full specifics of it, but my cousin, her grandfather, passed away several years ago. Wait, I know. Is this the texting thing? Yes. Okay, tell it because it's wild. It's wild. Okay, so my, it was my cousin, I believe it was my cousin's dad's dad passed away. And after he passed away, I think it was a few years later when it happened. I'm not totally sure, but family, specifically his, him, I think. I'm, I don't know the full details. I just know like what they've told me. They get text messages periodically. from his phone number, which I will say they have called. The phone was turned off. The phone number does not exist anymore. You can't call it. You can't text it back. It does not exist. But they get

text messages from his old phone number. And they're always kind of these cryptic messages. And they start off with a birthday of someone in the family. And I will say their family is huge. They have tons of grandchildren. Like parents, I mean, all of the kids have kids. There's lots of parents. are still alive. I mean, their family is huge. And they will get these text messages that will say a birthday. And it's always someone in the family and it will say they need to be very careful this week. Or it will say, congratulations, very happy things happened and someone else's birthday. And it's always these crypted messages. And when my cousin was going through some stuff, which I won't get super into, but she got these messages or her dad got these messages from that number with her birthday. And it said,

You need to be very careful this week. You're dealing with someone with mental illness. And she was, to say the least. Yes. And it just, that trail tale reminds me of that because they have no explanation. They have no idea why. They've contacted phone companies. The phone number doesn't exist.

No one knows why. And this phone that they have that it sends it to. Actually, maybe it's not his phone because now I'm thinking of it. It's actually an old flip phone that they have that it sends these text messages to that they don't turn off because this phone. this phone gets these messages. So it's just like this little flip phone that they open and periodically they receive a text. That is so wet.

I have just goosebumps everywhere. Oh my God. You never know what Avenue a sign will come through. You really don't. So good. So good. Everything you want for summer is at Nordstrom rack stores now and up to 60% off.

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signs from past loved ones. I always think about the story when Danielle wanted to see a sign from Ian and she specifically asked for a moose. Danielle has really inspired me to be fully open to accepting signs from loved ones that have passed. Like we all know, there is no such thing as a coincidence. Very recently, my grandpa, Gib, passed away from battling pancreatic cancer. This was a very hard thing to go through because I was very close with him. The very night he passed, Gibb's sister noticed a frog on her front porch. She thought nothing of it, until she received a text from her other brother of a frog on his porch that night as well. What are the chances he noticed a frog on his porch and felt the need to share it with his sister?

We had a feeling this was Gibbs' way of visiting. The next morning, an employee from his work whom Gibb was very close with was visiting and sending condolences to the family. We told her the story about the two frogs the previous night and her face dropped. She said, I had a huge frog on my porch last night too. I have never seen a frog near my house ever before. Jump ahead a week after the funeral is over and I get back to my daily life, I go to a dentist appointment. I received news that after many years of small procedures and lots of money spent to fix one

particular tooth, it needed to be extracted. I was upset and talking to my mom on the phone about the procedures and costs to come regarding the tooth. After I hung up, I decided to go into my garage and grab some soil and pots to spruce up my indoor plants. I wanted to get my mind on something positive. As soon as I stepped down into my garage, I felt something cold to land on top of my foot. It was a bright green, copse gray tree frog.

I have seen a few toads around my house, but never this type of frog. How did it get in my garage and why was he brave enough to jump on my foot? I instantly started crying and thanking Grandpa for coming to visit me at a time when I was upset. Gib was a guy that was known for fixing problems and or using his sense of humor to make you feel better if the problem couldn't be fixed. Just because someone has passed away does not mean they are far away. Once you open your heart and ask for signs, they will come. Thank you for listening to my story. You guys are so amazing.

And I always look forward to every episode. Oh, that's a sweet one. It is really nice. Okay. Deep breaths. The ending got me. So collecting myself. Okay.

I love that. I just like landed on our foot too. Like, hello? It's like this slimy thing and you're like, And the fact that you didn't jump, like, I feel like my immediate reaction would be to like jump and like kick or something. But the fact that you actually like took the time look down and was like, oh, I feel like that's a sign in itself too. Like there's no coincidence. Unless like you normally wouldn't react that way.

But I feel like most people, if they felt something slimy on their foot, they would like react a little bit. Yeah. Winter is so last season. And now Springs got you looking at pictures of tank tops with hungry eyes. Your algorithm is feeding you cutoffs. You're thirsty for the sun on your shoulders. That perfect hang on the patio sun dress. Those sandals you can wear all day and all night.

And you've had enough of shopping from your couch. Done hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear up on that envelope. It's time for a little in-person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross. Work your magic. Okay, my second story is titled Bizarer Coincidence. Hey, ladies, I love your show and your fearlessness in talking about signs and your belief that nothing is ever a coincidence.

I have often felt alone as an occasional believer in signs and synchronicities, but I feel less weird knowing there are others out there like me who have similar tales that are just too odd to be coincidences. Welcome to the club. I'm fearless, yes, in this pursuit. I would like to share a sign that I received this month and think you might enjoy it. I have been toying with the idea of starting a business but have been struggling with self-doubt and general fear related to the global economy. On a flight to Chicago, I was pondering my next move and set a quick, prayer, asking to see a red item as a clear sign that I should not proceed, or a yellow item

signaling that I should pursue my business. Fast forward, I'm aimlessly walking through the busy streets of downtown Chicago with my best friend with no plans, and I'm just allowing myself to be swept away by the excitement of the city, and I'm living in the moment. On a whim, we decided to go to the shore of Lake Michigan and promptly changed our direction to head to the shoreline. As we are walking through a park, I stopped dead in my tracks and stood in disbelief as I saw a large yellow lemon on top of a tree trunk. This was not an ordinary lemon, but a massive lemon the size of a bicycle on top of a tree stump. At first, I thought that we must have wandered into an open-air art exhibit of some kind. However, I did not notice any other art pieces or any other abnormalities for

that matter. There was absolutely no explanation of this large lemon in the middle of this massive park on the edge of Lake Michigan. I chuckled at the absurdity of the situation, took a quick photo, which I attached, and kept the observation to myself as I was too embarrassed to tell my friend what that meant to me. Today, I am filing for my business and am embarking on the journey of entrepreneurship. I am still a little scared, but I do feel a sense of peace with my decision. I wanted to thank you both for your courage in being vulnerable and sharing your stories. If it weren't for your boldness and sharing, I believe I would have shrugged this off as just a strange, but meaningless coincidence as this is just too unbelievable.

Keep doing what you're doing as you inspire more than you realize, Amanda. Amazing. And the picture really is. It's like a huge. Remember the world's largest egg that Ian and I sent you a picture of? Yes. It's like the world's largest lemon. Because then we have to go.

I don't know. What if it is? I'm Googling the world's largest lemon. I don't know. It's not like that big, but it's abnormal. normally big. Even if that's not the world's largest, we have to go to the world's largest lemon. World's largest lemon in California. Okay. Well, it's a 3,000 pound civic lemon statue that sits in the center of Lemon Grove, a suburb of San Diego. We'll add it to the list. Side note, an actual real

lemon, the largest one was 10 pounds, which is 4.8 kilograms. That's huge. Anyways. Big ass lemon. I hope your business is going well, Amanda. I know this is that this trail tail was a few months old. So hopefully things are going well and your lemon came in clutch for you. This one is one that was sent in very recently and it was a happy story with some signs in it as well. So I thought I would share it. It is titled Diana the Dunes helped me find my soulmate smiley face. Hello, you incredible ladies. I have never had the chance to write in a happy trail tale until now.

And I'm so excited this came to my mind to share. I have been listening to NPAD since the Idaho Wildfire episode a few years ago and have been hooked since. For some background for the story, I am an Indiana native. I have lived here most of my life and I just recently turned 26 and this is my first boyfriend I have ever had. I have always loved traveling and have visited over 20 national parks and had no intention of staying in Indiana.

After graduation, I moved to Arizona on the Navajo Reservation only for the pandemic to come forcing me to move home. I have always been independent and flown by the seat of my pants and had never found a man who just accepted my freegoing spirit as I am. Well, until this one, but we will get there. Like I said, I grew up in Indiana, but had never been to the dunes while growing up. It was only about two hours away, but my family is the farthest thing from outdoorsy. When I moved back from Arizona in the peak of the pandemic, my best friend and I masked up and drove to the dunes to spend the day in the sun enjoying Indiana's first national park. We went to the dunes and I was mesmerized.

It's truly a mystical and magical place. I get why Diana just moved in. At this point in time, I had no idea that Diana even existed, but upon getting back from our day trip, I immediately began to research about the dunes and try and just absorb as much as I could about my new backyard playground I just discovered. Then I came across Diana,

and she was such an inspiring force to be reckoned with, and I was obsessed with her story. Fast forward a few years, I began going on dates with this man, and he has family in Michigan. We went to visit for a long weekend and just so happened to have an extra day to do whatever we wanted. My boyfriend suggested to go to Chicago, but my nature-loving heart knew I wanted to go to the dunes because we would drive right by on our way home.

We had only been dating for a couple months at this point, so I was still getting to know him. And I knew he didn't have the same love and passion for the outdoors as I did, so I knew it would be a long shot. I suggested we get a hotel in Maraville, the closest city to the dunes, and visit the dunes in the morning. He immediately hopped on board, booked us a king suite, and told me to plan the day for tomorrow. He drove, and I planned a little itinerary. This is when all the green flags and signs that I might truly love this man began to appear. I started to share with him that there was a trail I wanted to do, Diana's dare. And it was newer and I had never been before.

His response was, whatever your soul desires with a big old grin. Another green flag. I planned out a whole day starting at a local coffee shop that has Diana the Dunes Lates, and then grab some snacks and headed to Diana's Dare first, then to the ranger station to get our sticker for completing the trail. We unpacked at the hotel and shared a bottle of wine and I made him watch some spooky paranormal TV show on the travel channel. We had the best time. Since we had a bit of wine, we had a slow morning the next day. When I finally got up, I looked outside and it was pouring. It is January and Indiana. It doesn't rain here. Then it snows and sleets. But today, all day,

it's pouring rain. I knew we would have to cancel our trip to the dunes, so while he slept, I drove to the coffee shop, got my Diana latte and some breakfast, and went back to the hotel. When I came in, he was all dressed and ready to go, and I told him it was raining, and it's okay if we canceled. This man said, Adrian, you haven't stopped talking about this trail, and you have done nothing but smile and giggle every moment you have talked about it. We are doing this trail. Naturally, my anxiety set in, and I kept saying it was okay, we didn't have to, and I understood if he didn't want to hike in the rain. He grabbed our bags, loaded the cars and screamed, We are going to find Diana, and giggled running to the car in the pouring rain. I turned on the

lore and lingering episode y'all had done with Diana in it, and we listened to her little section the whole way there. Once again, green flag after green flag with this man. And then we got to the dunes where this man hiked, took handed pictures of me without asking, asked questions, and was nothing but joy and smiles. We were standing by Diana's little shack at the end of the trail, and this man was so static for me and couldn't stop smiling, and it was in this moment where I finally felt that level grounded joy and happiness you feel when you are with someone you love. I had never felt that before and what a more beautiful place to feel that than where Diana lived and cared for the dunes she loved so much. It was so magical and incredible. The universe and Diana knew what they were

doing when they sent us on that trail in that pouring rain that day. I know signs and coincidences are huge with NPAD. So this last part of the story sold me. We drove home and after a flat tire in the downpour, we finally made it back safe and sound Sunday night. I woke up Monday morning to listen to NPAD on my way to work, and the episode that was released that Monday morning was about Diana of the Dunes. Once again, the universe works in magical ways, and I took all of these little amazing things as signs that after 26 years, I finally found my person who loves me for me and my love of the outdoors and exploration, and I couldn't be more ecstatic. I am so happy to finally not share a scary and sad story with y'all and finally share one that brings so much joy to my soul. I have attached some pictures from our little trip because they are some of my favorite memories. Thank you for all you incredible ladies do.

Oh, that one's so sweet. And it has your favorite Diana the Dunes. You're like, can't get enough of her. Yeah. I feel like Diana just pops up everywhere. And I just love that our episode about her came out immediately after. And she's like, yep, that's it. That's the sign that I needed.

like this is love. Everything was perfect. And it was immediate, like right after. And I, my next one is a pretty instantaneous sign as well. Ready to soundtrack your summer? With Red Bull Summer All Day Play, you choose a playlist that fits your summer vibe the best. Are you a festival fanatic? A deep end DJ, a road dog, or a trail mixer. Just add a song to your chosen playlist and put your summer on track. Red Bull Summer All Day Play. Red Bull gives you wings. Visit redbull.com slash bright summer ahead to learn more. See you this summer. It's titled A Sign Above the Crosswalk. Hi there, I'm a proud patron of NPAD.

It goes without saying that I love your show and hearing your passions and personalities come through. The episodes tell me we have lots in common and it feels like we're all friends. I was incredibly saddened to learn that as of a few months ago, Danielle and I share some more in common. I lost somebody that I love and someone who loved me in August of two, 2018 tragically and unexpectedly. I was already feeling lost in the world and that day marked the beginning of some very dark, lonely, and blurry years. I was in my last few years of grad school and running on autopilot, but honestly, I was barely functioning. I got my first career job after graduating in a new city, hours from any friends or family in late 2020 in the thick of the pandemic and

social distancing. I finally had some time to try and work through my feelings, which turned into me walking around near my apartment for hours. And hours. And hours. I walked every night for months, well into the cold season, just trying to make sense of the world. Except how could I? Losing the person I love could never make sense. Normally, I'm a sciencey, data-driven person, and I didn't believe in the supernatural, and I didn't look for signs from beyond, even when my dad died years prior. But I was so figuratively lost that I decided that even if I couldn't make sense of it, I needed something to keep me connected to the person that I love. For the first time ever, I asked for a sign. It was close to midnight in December, and I was so cold despite bundling up for my long walk. I remember my scarf being

wet from the tears that fell so often that I wouldn't realize I was crying. I remember staring down at the sidewalk, as I said out loud, give me a sign. I remember walking a few more steps, initially feeling like I must look like an idiot talking to myself. As I approached the crosswalk, I finally looked up just in time to see a big, magnificent shooting star. I didn't specify what kind of sign I wanted, so I guess he needed to make it the most obvious stereotypical sign you could possibly think of, so I would get it. And I did. It was so, so beautiful. That moment validated for me that our love and connection is still real, even if he's not physically on this earth. Just a few weeks ago was the four-year anniversary of the accident that took him away,

and listening to those stories of the signs your other listeners have experienced reminds me just how close our loved ones still are. Grief used to feel devastating and debilitating, and sometimes it still does. But more often now, those pangs of grief are more like that shooting star. A comforting reminder of the love and support that I had and still have withdrew. Danielle, I am so sorry. I hate this common ground and words can't do it justice. Cassie, words won't do it justice either, but I'm going to try. I cried real tears when I heard that you went to go be with Danielle.

Friends who are really willing to drop everything and be there are hard to come by. It is so valuable and important. The Cassie's in my story were my only light in a very dark time, and I am so thankful that Danielle has a friend like you. For what it's worth, I'd love a spinoff about science. Donna. That's so sweet. I know. God, why am I doing this episode again?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Damn. Um, okay. Wow. Yeah. So that was a very sweet. That was a sweet one. Are we all crying? Um, who, okay. Your turn. Take a break. Um, okay. I had, I have two. Um, I'm trying. I have a happier one and a sadder one. They're both, I'll do this one. I'll do this one. Okay. Okay. This one is titled Signs. Walking Stick Bug is my dad question mark. I'm Stephanie and I'm from Condezer. I just want to say I love your podcast. I have listened to all episodes and some more than once. My brother and I recently went on vacation to the PNW for the first time. We drove through Washington, Oregon, and Northern California, and visited all of the national parks there. Just to name a few,

we hiked the Hall of Malasses Trail and Olympic, Paradise in Mount Rainier at sunset. Wait, Hall of Mosses. It's not molasses. What did I say? Malasses. I was like, what? Where's that? It does say mosses on here too. We hiked the hall of mosses. That's wick and funny. I'm glad you corrected me. We hiked the hall of...

You almost did it. You almost did it again. I almost said Moses. We hiked the hall of Mosses Trail in Olympic. Paradise and Mount Rainier at sunset. Strolled through the redwoods and so much more. We checked out Cannon Beach, too, and even hiking. the Cinder Cone Volcano in Lassen Volcanic National Park, which I highly recommend.

But we'd be here all day if I talked about everything we got to do. After we got back from vacation, our grandmother passed away, and the day of her funeral, our dad passed away too. October is always my favorite time of year to celebrate fall in Halloween, but this month of October has been a long month of grieving instead. My brother and I love to go camping in Red River Gorge, Kentucky. My dad also loves spending time outdoors so we decided to go on a weekend camping trip in honor of him passing and because camping always makes us feel better. A little backstory about my dad. He loved insects and he even had a walking stick bug in a frame he bought back from his Singapore trip years ago. It's something that

really reminds me of him. So we headed to Red River Gorge where we always go and have been a million times. Later that night when we were sitting by the fire, we saw a walking stick bug right in front of us and it even climbed onto our tent. In all the times we've been hiking and camping there, we have never seen one before. We both immediately said, it's dad. He was leaving us a sign. I never really knew if I believed in signs before,

but I'm a firm believer now. I love to think that even though he's not physically here with us anymore, he still got to be with us in spirit, and in this dark, confusing time, it was his way of showing us it's going to be okay. Thank you so much for reading if you made it this far. I always look forward to Mondays at work now because of your podcast. Keep up the great work, Stephanie.

Aw, that was a cool one too. This episode is brought to you by Prime. Obsession is in session. And this summer, Prime Originals have everything you want. Steamy romances, irresistible love stories, and the book to screen favorites you've already read twice. Off campus, L, every year after, the love hypothesis, Sterling Point, and more.

Slow Burns. second chances. Chemistry you can feel through the screen. Your next obsession is waiting. Watch only on Prime. I love these so much. It's like a double-edged sword kind of. You know, like they're comforting and they're so nice to hear, but they're also really sad because you know that like the only reason they're happening is because there's loss on the other side of it. And that's obviously very difficult. It's bittersweet. It is super bittersweet. But of course, we have a couple. extra. We have one each additional story that we tell for outsiders for Patreon and Apple, but I did want to share, it's not like a super long story. It's pretty short. I just kind of wanted to put it as like a PS from a listener.

And I just, I thought it was really nice. So I want to share it for everyone. Okay. Okay. I don't know if there was an intro, if I didn't copy and paste it. It just starts. So here we go. I just made the huge mistake of listening to episode 69 on my flight home from Calgary. I'm sitting here quietly sobbing into my Jack and Coke trying to play it off as allergies. I can't express how grateful I am to have gotten a glimpse of Ian through this episode. I love your podcast so much. I just spent the last week in Calgary visiting my cousin. She took me to Bamp for a day trip to Lake Louise.

We canoed on the bright blue glacial water and took in the stunning mountains surrounding us. We stopped into the Fairmont Shep. chteau for an ice cream, and as we ate, I giddily recited the haunted stories I learned from your show. We ended the weekend with a spontaneous rooftop wedding for my cousin and her partner, and it was an incredible week. NPAD has given me a renewed desire to explore, and it has educated me about many places that I didn't know existed, but today it gives me something else. It reminds me to not take life for granted. It reminds me to love the ones that I have as hard as I can while I can. I can't wait to get off my flight in Cleveland to give my partner the

tightest hug I ever have. Thank you for sharing Ian with us. He has inspired me today. I'm so sorry your time with him was cut so very short. I raised my glass of Jack, Coke, and tears to Ian as the passenger next to me looks at me like I've lost my mind. These words do not even come close to what I want to express and seem quite meaningless compared to your loss, but in short, I just wanted to know that you have impacted my life in a positive way. And today, Ian has positively impacted my life as well. Sincerely, Hannah. So I just wanted to end the regular episode with that because it kind of encapsulates a lot of different emails that we've gotten as a kind of side notes, not exactly like trail tales or sign stories, but especially in the beginning back last year in May when

Ian first passed. We got so many. I got so many to my personal. I still, if you're listening to this and you send me a message, I haven't responded. I'm so sorry. We've gotten so many. And to be honest, sometimes they're very, very hard for me to even address because it's just still really difficult. But we see them and we are so, both of us are so just like stunned and honored and happy that through sharing stories and vulnerability and glimpses into what happened with Ian and both of our relationships with him and what has happened after. after. It's just very, very meaningful. And we obviously really love when people send in stuff about how, like, the podcast has changed their view in the outdoors and learning and, like, appreciation for nature. Like, that is awesome, too. But this whole, like, shift that has happened because of what happened with Ian was obviously very unexpected, but it's also really special. And this brought a lot of, a lot of meaning to my life. So thank you. Jesus. Sorry.

Well, now the entire world is crying. Sorry. It had to be said. And I've tried. I told it Cassie before we started recording this. I'm like, okay, I've had an emotional day. Like, I'm trying. I'm going to try and get my shit together.

And I guess I can't, but I'm really, really trying. I think it's okay. I think when we all started this episode, we expected to cry and it's okay. Yeah. Well, and everything Danielle said I agree with and her beautiful. words. Well, we do, we are trying to, I mean, I've gotten a couple messages recently within like the last month maybe. And obviously we're recording this early. So I would say like January, February timeframe of like people being like, you know, we're starting to see a shift in your voice

and feeling and hearing happiness in your voice again. And like we're hope you're doing really well and moving forward. And while that's all so very kind and like I'm glad that I can like get my shit together essentially to work. Yeah. Like, you know, it's been almost a year now. I'm glad that I can have moments like that, but it is still like a day to day, as Cassie knows, a day to day struggle, like really hard for me. And I've also have it a lot of people who have reached out to me about also going through grief. And by sharing stories like this, they don't feel so alone through their grief. And like I'm such a huge advocate for grief doesn't have a timeline. And even if I appear to.

to be doing okay as time goes on. I do have moments I am okay, but overwhelmingly I'm not. So I just wanted to make that note too that like you aren't alone if you feel like you kick your shit together because this podcast is very, I have the luxury of editing and scheduling time to work when I feel okay to do it, you know, whether that's at 9 in the morning or 6 p.m. at night, like Cassie has been so great about that. I'm like, okay, I'm feeling good. I have, I look at my watch. I'm like, I'm going to go down in the next two hours. Let's go now. We got two hours timeline. Well, I think that's really important to note because it's so true in like all aspects of life, but specifically for this podcast, there's so much going on outside of it. This is such a

small glimpse into our lives and your life. And while, I mean, especially you, you've been so candid and honest about your experience and like really allowed people into your life. It's also important to note that this is an hour of a week or an hour and a half or whatever that is and it's just a small window and there's a lot more going on. And I think that's just important to realize for not just you, but for everyone. Because when you see other people who you might assume are doing okay, you just have to realize that you're looking at a small window of time for them. Like, if you see someone out at a restaurant or if you see someone out on a hike or wherever you see someone for a brief period of time, you're seeing a small glimpse and it doesn't necessarily mean that

that person is okay. Yeah. And it's usually a very, that glimpse that you're seeing is probably taking a lot of effort and courage to just kind of put on this like brave. Like I have to be here. I have to do this, I have to show up. I have to keep, you know, moving forward. Like, it's not saying it's always all fake like that, but sometimes it is and to just, like, give people grace and understanding with that and to just, yeah, I mean, everyone goes through tough shit, whether it's the loss of someone or a different type of loss, like a divorce or a change in your life or something, you know, like their loss comes in so many different forms. And, yeah, just giving the people the grace of, like, understanding and yeah. I think you can kind of look at that at another perspective too and that if you see

someone who is really happy in one moment, it doesn't mean that they're not. But like I feel like a lot of times, especially with celebrities or whatever or people you know if you know someone and something really bad happened to them and then you see them out at a bar drinking and having the time of their life, they're like, oh, they're doing fine. Yeah. And again, it's a window and maybe they are having. a great night. Maybe they are doing a really fun thing, but they also are going through something that you're not seeing. And again, that is a small window. I just think of recently I saw someone, I didn't know them, but it came up and just like scrolling through Facebook. And someone posted that their daughter was recently diagnosed with cancer. And they put up a go fund me to help with

funds and stuff. And she was just a, who's an infant and really sad. And then she went out and she did some stuff that she really loves to do and people got mad at her for it and was like, aren't you, I thought your daughter had cancer. Like, why are you out having fun? She was like, because I'm going through the worst moments of my life right now and I needed like an hour to do something else. So I think it's important to also see the other side of that where someone might really be having a wonderful time and that's in that moment.

And that could change later when no one's looking and just to be like respectful of that too, to be like, you know, it is okay for people to be really. happy in one moment, but also devastated and going through a lot in the next. And simultaneously. Like, just because one thing is, like, one emotion is happening like joy, it doesn't mean that it's not braided with something else. Like, there's always an undertone, at least in my experience, as at this point in time, there's always an undertone. If, like, I'm, like, laughing and out with friends or whatever, it's like immediate flip side of that is, but there's still this loss and emptiness there. So anyways, it's just, the moral of the story is just everyone goes through

really difficult times and just be nice and because everyone's going through something. And be thankful, it's not you. Like in that moment, if you're the one passing judgment, like that woman received. It's like, be thankful it's not you on the other end because it might be soon. So just that's it. Yeah. But anyways, okay, well, we still have two more to share. We do. We have some bonus ones to share. And mine. My bonus one will share it for outsiders only so you can go on Apple Podcasts and you can subscribe there if you want to hear it. Also, you can go on to Patreon. We have all of our bonus episodes and bonus trail tales on Patreon as well. And mine's a little more lighthearted and more inspiring for your saying for everyone to take the trip. Oh, okay. Well, happy birthday, Ian. Happy birthday. Aries. Aries. Oh, God. He is such an Aries too. I love Aries, by the way.

Arias are just like my, like I'm always, I always have the best time with Aries and Gemini are like my people. I know. It's not a coincidence like your Gemini. Okay, all right. Let's go over to the outsiders. Thank you, everyone again, for being here. And yeah. We'll see you next time.

In the meantime, enjoy the view. I know that there is always something out there watching your back. Beautifully said. Bye, everyone. Bye. Thank you so much for joining us again this week. If you have a trail tale or story suggestion, send us an email at Stories at npadpodcast.com. Follow us on Instagram and Facebook at National Park After Dark and on Twitter at NPAD podcast. Join our outsiders-only community on Patreon or Apple subscriptions to listen ad-free, unlock monthly bonus episodes, and exclusive content. And remember, when you support our sponsors, you are supporting our show. For our exclusive, count codes and source information from today's episode, check out the show notes. For more

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