National Park After Dark - Trail Tales 44

Episode Date: March 14, 2024

Today’s episode is a very special one - all about signs, synchronicities and loved ones showing their love no matter how far away they seem.Learn more about Danielle’s grief retreat here :)We love our National Parks and we know you do too but when you're out there, remember to enjoy the view but watch your back. Please take a moment to rate and subscribe from wherever you’re listening to NPAD! Become part of our Outsider family on Patreon  or Apple Subscriptions to gain access to ad-free episodes, bonus content, and more. Follow our socials Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. To share a Trail Tale, suggest a story, access merch, and browse our book recommendations - head over to our website.Thank you so much to our partners, check them out!Rocket Money: Use our link to get started saving.Taylor Farm Hemp Co: Use code NPAD for 15% off your first order plus free shipping.Prose: Use our link for a free in-depth hair consultation and 50% off your first subscription. Plus 15% off and free shipping on all future subscription orders.Alo Moves: Use code NPAD to get a free 30-day subscription. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Monday AI agents took over my work. And I absolutely love it. Chasing deadlines, writing status reports, updating stakeholders. Agents handle the daily grind now. They live inside Monday.com. So they see the full picture, my work, my team, the whole company. And I don't have to worry about the data. It's safe, which means I'm free to focus on the big stuff,

knowing everything runs smoothly in the background. It's completely shifted the way we work. Create your own AI agent in minutes on Monday.com. Girl, winter is so last season. And now Springs got you looking at pictures of tank tops with hungry eyes. Your algorithm is feeding you cutoffs. You're thirsty for the sun on your shoulders. That perfect hang on the patio sundress.

Those sandals you can wear all day and all night. And you've had enough of shopping from your couch. Done hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear up on that envelope. It's time for a little in-person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross. Work your magic. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to National Park After Dark. We have a very special trail tale additions today. Yes, we do. We put this together for a special occasion because Danielle has a really fun announcement. And I say fun, but it's a really special announcement, I should say.

Yeah, it's kind of, it's bittersweet, but more sweet because I've been working on something for a few months now. It's been in my brain for a while. But as far as like getting going on it, it's been a few months in the making. But I have put together a retreat. And it is not going to be like the typical trip that Cassie and I put on where you book through Trova trip. And it's not anything like that. I've done this completely on my own. There is no bigger company. It's not a national park after dark per se type of thing. Although it's deeply rooted in our community. But essentially, I put together a grief or treat. And it is going to be open for booking now, I guess, when you listen to this. And it is going to be taking place at the end of August, August 26th through the 29th. And it's going to be in Colorado. It's down about, I don't want to say the town because we weren't be like, where is that? It's going to be like about an hour north of the Great Sand Dunes National Park in a little town outside of Salida. And I've worked really, really hard to put it together. There's a website that, of course, I'll put in the show notes. And you can please go check it out if it's something that you're interested in, but it's going to be for a small group, less than 20 of us. And we're going to get together, hang out in nature, and get to do a lot of community work through, through grief. And it's open to anyone who has lost anyone in their lives. I don't care if it's a, you know, significant other like me or a parent, a friend, a sibling. you know, any of the above.

Anyone is welcome as long as you feel ready for it. You're 18 and over, and it's been at least six months until since the passing of your loved one. Just to give your heart some time before you jump into something like this. Yeah, and you put together a really beautiful website that explains all the activities that you have planned. And you've also, which I personally think is really amazing, you have made connections with a couple of very inspiring women that will be there to help everyone through this retreat because you said it's better sweet it's going to be difficult and it's going to have some really special and fun moments in it too and it's held and led by some very inspiring women including you yourself so i think it's

amazing that you're putting this together and i think it's very exciting for the people who have been listening and reaching out and have really felt connected to you personally because of the way that you've been so open about your journey to bring this into a real event for other people to share in their grief as well, I think is very special. Thank you. Yeah, it's, yeah, I'm obviously going to be there and I'm going to be a part of it and participating and right there alongside of everybody. But I am in no way, shape, or form qualified to like, you know, to lead something like this. Of course, I can be there for support and be a participant and all of that. But as far as how I've kind of sculpted the retreat, I wanted to take elements from my own grief journeys and what has really helped me in healing

and getting through each day and different elements of what those things are. And when I really thought about it, it came down to, you know, speaking with somebody in the professional realm, you know, some sort of therapy. Being in community. with others who get it, you know, who have lost a significant loved one person in their life, time in nature, spending time in nature, spending time with animals, and the spiritual realm talking to mediums. So I'm not going to get super into it because if this is something that you are not interested in, then I'm not going to, you know, take the whole episode explaining it for 45 minutes. The website goes over everything in detail, great detail. But essentially, there's going to be time

for all of those different things. And I really wanted to just create time, you know, three, four days where people can just walk away from life when their worlds are just kind of falling apart and to be with other people who just get it. And that's why I did this. And I really hope that anyone who is interested hears this and goes to the website and just kind of checks it out. And we can go from there. But again, it's my first. time doing this. I did it all on my own. I'm just a baby. Just a baby. I'm just a baby. It's a lot. Be kind. Yeah, be kind. But I really did put a lot of heart and soul into this. And if you have any questions, you can definitely, there's, you know, places on there where you can reach out.

And I can kind of guide anyone through any questions or concerns or anything like that. But anyway, So in kind of the spirit of that, today's Trail Tales is a little bit different because we have a theme. And I don't think we've ever done a theme really before. Intentionally, I mean. Like sometimes there's been. Yeah. I feel like around Halloween we've been like let's do spooky ones. But there's never been like a real legitimate theme. We were just on a vibe. That is true. Yeah. So but today we went all out for a theme. And today is going to be all about sign, synchronicity. and trail tales from people who have written in just wanting to share their stories of love, loss, signs, grief, things like that. So any signs and coincidences. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Everyone grab the tissues because we're in for a ride today. And the last, last thing about this is that's a slightly, slightly different is we each have three stories to share, which we have done before. That's status quo. But instead of the two mini bonus stories that we are you we usually do just like for patreon and apple subscribers we are not doing two bonus episodes just for them we're doing one bonus story for everyone so there's that

and that's it okay i feel like i've talked for so long and i'm so nervous to talk about that this is exciting and you've done yeah your website is very impressive everything you've put together is amazing and i think that everyone's going to respond to it really well thank you and i mean no one can see is right now, but I think it's a sign in it of itself that we get on to the, me and Cassie haven't really talked in like three days. Which is unusual. Like very brief passing. Yeah.

And so, you know, she pops on the screen, haven't seen her in days. And for the first time ever, we're matching. We're wearing the same outfit. And you have braids in your hair right now and I almost put a braid in my hair. I was so close. And I never wear my hair in braids. really a missed opportunity but I'm very excited we're wearing the same sweatshirt. I'm going to take a picture of it actually on my phone just to hold on to this moment forever.

You know that we have this recording just like being uploaded. But it's not on my phone right now. Oh, okay. Yeah. I feel like I'm like the mom that's like, hold on, sweetie. Let me take a photo and it's like a blurry image that. Yeah. That no one is ever going to look at.

Yeah. Okay. Do you want to go first or would you like me to go first? Up to you. What would you like? Well, I'm reading the bonus story. So how does that go with? What's the math on that? Fuck. We should have been doing this out. So if you go, then I go. So there's six. And you go then I go. I should go first. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Okay, great. Sorry that everyone just had to hear us figure that out. Hear us do math out loud. Yep. This episode is brought to you by Prime. Obsession is in session. And this summer, Prime Originals have everything you want. Steamy romances, irresistible love stories, and the book to screen favorites you've already read twice.

Off campus, L, every year after, The Love Hypothesis, Sterling Point, and more. Slow burns, second chances, chemistry you can feel through the screen. Your next obsession is waiting. Watch only on Prime. Okay, my first story is titled Signs from the Other Side on the Stairway to Heaven Trail. Cassie and Danielle, I want to start off by expressing my love for your podcast and my appreciation for all the hard work you both have put into it. I especially enjoy hearing stories from you both and other listeners about experiences on the trail or anywhere with the other side. I have a story to share that involves just that.

In July of 2023, my family lost our beloved dog Snowball, Snowy for short, who had been with us for 19 years. 19 years! Wow. Oh my God. I don't think I've ever... Oh, so was pretty old. Was Osso 19? I don't know, but Oso was very old. That's like getting ready to celebrate your 21st. Yeah. Yeah, wow.

19 years is a long time. It is. A couple of months before his passing, I read the book Signs by Laurelind Jackson. I think a part of me knew his passing was approaching as his health continued to decline, so I decided to read the book in preparation as I had grown up with Snowy since I was four years old. Snowy passed away on the morning of July 13th, and after saying goodbye, my boyfriend suggested we take a walk to help me feel better, as the outdoors always seemed to clear my mind and put me at ease. One of the trails he suggested was the boardwalk portion of the Appalachian Trail in northern New Jersey, also known as the Stairway to Heaven Trail. It was a beautiful sunny day, and on the drive-over, I remember looking up into the blue sky and hesitantly praying for Snowy to send me a sign, as I had read about, but I was nervous.

nervous, I wouldn't receive any. My boyfriend and I began walking on the boardwalk, and as we approached to cross the suspension bridge portion of the trail, something caught the corner of my eye. I took a step back to read a sticker that had been placed on one of the pillars of the bridge and immediately began sobbing. It is important to note that there were no other stickers on the entire bridge, or anywhere else on the trail for that matter. The sticker that caught my eye was a picture of a dog, with the caption, All dogs go to heaven. In that moment, it felt like a sure sign from Snowy to let me know he was at peace. It felt even more fitting considering we were on the stairway to heaven trail after all.

The even weirder part of this story is that my family and I had hiked this portion of the trail a year prior in March of 2022, and photos from that day on the suspension bridge do not show the sticker. I have always considered myself a spiritual person, and this experience has definitely solidified my beliefs and helped me come to terms with his passing. Thank you for reading, and I'm looking forward to your next episode, Best Sarah. I loved that story. I wish, I don't know if actually she attached. Is there a picture of this 19-year-old dog? I think they're, because I wrote a little note to myself. Well, I was thinking, I wonder she like peeled that sticker off.

It was like, you're coming home with me. But who knows? Who knows? I guess I'll find out when I go back to post the pictures, but I do believe that there is a picture of Snowy. But thank you, Sarah, for writing that in. Yes, thank you. All right. My story is titled Signs from Zach. Danielle and Cassie, you guys have brought me so much joy in company since I discovered your podcast a couple months ago. Thank you for all that you do. My story does not take place in a national park, but I just want you guys to know the good you have brought to my life and I'm sure many others. As you guys offer trigger warnings, I'll offer one here, especially for Danielle. This isn't gruesome, but I do lose my person, and I believe the date resonates with you as well.

Please do not continue reading if you feel that you can't. I met my Zach's senior year of college. He was smart and funny, a core Steelers fan, and a lover of Guinness Beer. We graduated college together, started our dream jobs, and began planning a life together. But on May 28, 2022, that changed. Zach went to Savannah, Georgia to spend time with his family. They were boating on the Wilmington River when their boat collided with another. Zach, his brother, Nate, and his parents were thrown from the boat.

They didn't survive. Only his sister, Katie, and her best friend survived. Since then, he has sent me signs often, the first of which was a Guinness bottle cap, on the ground by my car as I left his funeral, that I had almost decided not to attend. I saw that as him saying I was doing the right thing. He sent me flowers. randomly I started finding them, a cut rose on my walk home, a sunflower on my doorstep, a hydrangea at a pile of snow in a parking lot. They always appeared when I was thinking of him. When we were dating, Zach brought me flowers often, or would take me to botanical gardens knowing how much I loved plants. Sometime in August, I had a dream about Zach.

It wasn't the first and it wouldn't be the last, but this one stuck with me. In the dream, we were broken up. I called Zach to tell him I missed him and that I didn't think us breaking up was supposed to happen. he agreed and told me that he would see me on February 13th that we would work things out then. That was the end of the dream. Fast forward to the 13th of February, 2003. I've hesitatedly started seeing someone new. Of course, I felt guilty and wrong for quote unquote moving on and was reluctant,

but Clay came out of nowhere. So sweet, kind, and even though he couldn't understand, he was patient and respectful of Zach's role in my life. That day, the day that dream Zach had promised we would work things out, For the first time, Clay told me he loved me. I couldn't help but think that this was Zach saying it was okay, that Clay was good. I haven't found a safe place to tell my story, but you guys not only give me a place to tell it, but encourage to believe in these signs from my Zach.

You guys talk about this sort of thing often, and as you might imagine, it is my favorite part of the podcast. I've been seeing Clay for a year now. I've healed tremendously, but still not a day goes by that I don't miss Zach and his family. They were kind and wonderful. Danielle, I am so sorry for your loss. I want you to know through your pain you are helping many people to heal. I think that's all we can hope for when something like this happens, that one day we will see the good in it. Enjoy the view and know that you people have your back even from the other side.

Jules. Oh, God. That was an intense one. We had to start off with snowy because. God. Because that was really. Yeah, that was tough. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you for sharing. Wow. And happy for you for doing your best to find happiness in the aftermath of such tragedy. All right. My next story is titled Death in the Yellowstone River. Hi, Danielle and Cassie. My name is Dela, and I have kind of been listening to your podcast for a few years now. I started listening to it in 2021, then picked it back up again in 2023. I am a perfectionist, so I started directly from the beginning in 2021. And finally now, January, 25th of 2024, I am caught up. It helps that I work for Hertz cleaning cars all day, which means that I listen to your podcast 40 hours a week. I don't know if I could listen to us for 40 hours a week. Thank you. I mean, that's a compliment. That's a huge compliment. Yeah. Now that I am caught up, I genuinely feel lost, but I am looking forward to being part of this journey with you guys now instead of trailing behind. Danielle, you are getting so many sweet words from others on behalf of your loss of Ian, that I wanted to share my friend's story as well. I'm going to give you a bit of

a backstory to truly show how hard this was to go through. It was the start of the school year in 2017 and I was a sophomore in high school. I had just met my best friend's little brother, James, who had just entered high school. I was absolutely infatuated with him from the beginning. He was so sweet, intelligent, and he was in the band as well. I played the clarinet and he played the saxophone. Our relationship grew very quickly and I found myself to be in love with this dorky boy. We talked every single day and I would show up to school early in the morning just so I could spend a little more time with him. After a while of talking, I mentioned a very small town, think population of 30 or so by definition, not even a town, that my great grandparents had lived in where they owned their own resort in the mountains. This piked his interest and he said, no way, I used to live there.

So I asked him, that probably means you know my grandparents. He wasn't sure, so he asked his father. And as it had turned out, James and I were cousins. Very, very distant cousins. However, we were still cousins. Remember that part where I was in love with him? Yeah, that fucking sucked. It was very Montana of me to just accidentally be in love with my cousin.

At least it was just like a crush. There are those like people who fall in love. I don't know if this is. She's like real about him, like in love with this kid. But they're not dating, dating. Like, no, I'm pretty sure. Are they? Are they?

It sounds like she was just like going early to school to see him and like they talked a lot. Yeah. But there's like people who take Ancestry.com tests like after like dating for years and sleeping together and then they find out their siblings. Are there stories like that? Yes. There are. They've been coming out recently. How would?

Okay. Yeah. That's another conversation. But okay, at least. It could have been worse. Let's do a prone con list. Pro, very, very distant cousin. Con, a cousin.

A cousin. Pro, new family. Khan. Same family. Love. Okay. Anyways, all right. This broke both of our hearts as he confided in me that same night that he was planning on me being his first ever kiss.

Of course, we decided that we could never be in a relationship because we were literally related, but unfortunately my feelings never went away. The school year had passed and we had stayed very close friends and he had even caused some relationship issues for me as I had a boyfriend and he was jealous. I am aware the story is very weird. On his last day of school for that year, I took him to McDonald's and he was messing with my car. All windows down and the AC cranked up all the way because he liked the smell. He then proceeded to accidentally pour his entire slushy out of the window, which was the only thing we went to McDonald's for. Fast forward a few weeks, and he is upset with me because I never moved on.

We didn't talk for several months, and I was so upset that I almost deleted every single photo with him in it. Then, in about mid-July, he apologized for how he treated me and that he missed me and wished we had hung out more. This was after my rollover car accident where I had almost died. My friend was driving, not me. I'm a good driver. To clarify.

Yeah. in case anyone was worried. A few days later, me and everyone else's lives were changed for the worst. His family went on a boating trip on the Yellowstone River and everything was going according to plan. They had a blast, the river ride went smooth, and they were actually just about to get out of the water when their boat capsized. His mother died on the scene trying to save their dog, and James was taken away with the current of the river. His sister, best friend, and father all made it to safety back on shore. Since they were just getting out of the water, they had all taken off their life jackets,

which meant James was floating down a huge river with nothing to help him survive. Immediately, search and rescue was looking for anything of James's. They found his wallet, his glasses, and I believe his shoes. My friend at the time was part of the search and rescue, and I remember hearing that they were trying their best to lead my friend away from any clues where James would be. I'm so glad my friend never actually found James himself, but got to at least help in the effort. For 24 days, they never actually found James. That was the only thing that we wanted for James to be found. We held a prayer vigil for him within the week he went missing. That was the

hardest I've ever cried, as well as a bunch of our other high schoolers who just wanted their friend to be okay. James missing in a river destroyed everyone. I didn't eat for weeks, and I was crying so much that my eyes were permanently swollen. The weeks went by and still there was nothing. The first week they had found all of his belongings but not him and this was driving everyone crazy. We all just hoped that maybe there was a chance he survived and he was just out somewhere living in the woods. Then it was August 19th. I was coming back from a trip in Texas when it was announced that James's body was found after a tip from a local fisherman. This brought a little bit of closure that he was no longer missing. But everyone's favorite boy.

was no longer with us. I'm glad that they found him the day I came home, as it felt like we had come back home together. James, my best friend, and unfortunately, my very distant cousin, initially was floating away in Livingston, Montana, and was found 24 days later in Spring Hill, which I may be wrong, but should have been 20 plus miles of river for him to just be in. Nothing to help him. James died July 27th, 2018, and I had just turned 15 the month prior. The last time I ever saw him was his last day ever of high school, finishing his freshman year. If I hadn't gotten into a car accident, funny enough, on the way to band camp, I would have been able to see James one more time before his passing. To be frank, I will never forgive my friend who almost killed me in a car accident. I may have spinal damage,

but she unknowingly took the very last time I would see James alive away from me. One detail, that just strikes me differently, is that on the way to the river, James' friend told me that his dad had made a joke. Oh, our family doesn't float. We sink. Yeah, quite the joke to accidentally make. It's been over five years now since my best friend passed away, but he has never forgotten. Every year we celebrate his birthday, he would have been turning 21 this year. Every year on July 27th, I head to the Yellowstone River and I throw in flowers at the landing where everyone's lives changed forever. James' death is still very sore. I loved slash love that boy. I think more than I've loved anyone else. I'm just so grateful that I got to know him at all. And it's so powerful knowing that his death

likely impacted thousands of people. He really was a special kid. Daniel, I know a close friend isn't quite the same as losing your significant other, but I do know how it feels to lose someone tragically. I hope you know that Ian loved you so much and he's looking down on you now, as is James for me. Maybe they're hiking somewhere together right now. I'm deeply sorry for your loss, and I know that grief doesn't get smaller, but rather the capacity for grief gets bigger. You both, Danielle and Cassie, are so loved by everyone, all your listeners, and of course, your significant others.

I love y'all's podcast. It's the only one I'll listen to. I recommend it to everyone, even people I don't even like that much. You guys are doing amazing, and I love your storytelling. Keeps lying, ladies. Thank you for being a source of comfort in learning for me. Dela. Thank you for sharing that story. That's horrible and I'm so sorry. It's so young. But thank you for sharing that story because that's a really hard one to share, including the details you added in to make

it a little funny. You didn't have to do that, but it's greatly appreciated. I know it could have been omitted, you know, but I think it added levity that we all needed and, you know, you didn't know. You didn't know. You didn't know. You didn't know. How? Would you know? What would you know? But good thing you asked. Good thing you talked about that little town. But it would have come out eventually.

Yeah. But yeah. Wow. Well, my next story is titled, This story is not about signs from the universe. Or maybe it is. Hi, Danielle and Cassie. After listening to your podcast for the last year and always thinking about sending a trail tale,

I decided it's finally my time to shine. It's been about a year since I found you two, and I want you to know your podcast has helped me in so. many ways, outdoorsy and emotionally. You've taught me a lot about the right and wrong things to do when traveling, and your collabs with tooth and claw have also made me feel a hundred times more confident about running into a bear. A black bear, that is. If I run into a grizzly, I'm accepting my fate in letting the universe handle that one. You've also helped me emotionally in a good handful of ways. Danielle, the way you have handled life since losing Ian amazes me

every single day. I appreciate your honesty and transparency while grieving in more ways than I can count. I am so sorry for your loss, but I want you to know that you inspire me in the ways you've learned to live with it and the ways you express your emotional feelings. I have always been big on expressing my feelings, even though I struggle at expressing the emotional ones. So I truly appreciate the way you do so. Cassie, you always seem to pick trail tales that sit with me after, and you always say exactly what I was thinking after reading it. Like you're reflecting words on your trail tales always match my thoughts. I feel like I'm sitting with the both of you just talking during the trail tale episodes.

Anyway, now that I've confessed my undying love for you, too, back to the trail tale. Thank you. It's very appreciated. It is very kind. I went on my first big road trip slash national park trip back in 2020 to Arches National Park, Moab and Horseshoe Bend. Since then, I've made it a point to go on two trips a year and have visited Zion, Bryce Canyon, and the Grand Teton's, Yellowstone, Yosemite, Glacier, Banff, and my most recent Mount Rainier

and Crater Lake. Outside of that, I live in Colorado and have been pretty much everywhere in this beautiful state I call home. I started a lot of these trips before finding your podcast, but I mean it when I say you've taught me a lot since, and I am very, very grateful. When I was younger, my papa used to take me camping multiple times over the summer and is the person who sparked my love for being outside. We used to camp on the lakes and when the sun would start to set, we would take a bucket and follow the shoreline and collect as many frogs as we could in our buckets and then let them all go when we were done. My Papa passed back in 2018 and that was the most significant death I've experienced in my life. He was my best friend growing up. That's a huge part of what pushed me to start traveling

and to experience more of the beautiful outdoors that he introduced me to. When I visit Zion in 2021, I went with my best friend and the two of us dispersed camp the whole five days in the back of her Subaru. On the third morning, she called her grandma, and the last thing her grandma said before hanging up the phone was, I sent my angels to watch you two. Her saying that sat with me all day. Later that day, after setting up camp, we were sitting around the fire drinking our nightly sleepy time tea, when a little frog hopped up next to us and then under our chairs. It spent the next hour in the same spot until we went to sleep and then it hopped back down to the river by us.

I was absolutely convinced it was my papa. It was the exact kind of frog we would pick up at the lakes growing up. I talked about it all day the next day. Since that trip, I've seen some type of frog on almost every trip I've been on. I even saw one when I went to Tulum. I 100% believe it's my papa keeping me safe on my trips I go on. Last year, I went on two trips and didn't see a frog on either of them. I was starting to get discouraged by it, but I also believe that when I'm looking for something

or overthinking it, it won't happen for me. I believe that in all aspects of life, which I know is. a different view on life than most people have, but I believe it fully. So I started telling myself to stop focusing on it and just let it happen. When I visit Mount Rainier in July of this year, I didn't think about a frog once on my way there or once we got there, but I did think about NPAD, and honestly, more specifically, Danielle, because of her stories in Washington with Ian. When I was on my first hike of the trip, I was looking down at the ground and thinking about my papa and him keeping us safe on this trip. It was the first time I had thought about him

since leaving Colorado. A few minutes later, I went across the little river, and lo and behold, not one, but two, frogs hopped through the river in front of me. We were less than a mile away from hitting the glacier we were hiking towards, and I had no idea frogs could live near glaciers. I was at an absolute loss of words, and we continued hiking. I cried. I wasn't looking for a sign, but I had just thought about my papa keeping us safe. I saw five more frogs on this trip, and two of them were on our backpacking trip in the park, which is when I wanted to see my papa the most. I love backpacking and will always make it a point to do so in the parks I visit, but they

absolutely still make me nervous. I always listen to the stories Danielle tells about signs and her own ways of asking for signs and they always sit with me, thinking of her and NPAD over this trip, thinking of my papa but not asking for a sign, and then seeing multiple frogs sat with me so heavily. I told my friends multiple times that this was my sign. to finally write in a trail tales. And then I made her listen to a trail tale on our way from Washington to Oregon that had us both absolutely sobbing, L.O.L.

I've never been big on asking the universe for signs, but I have always listened to the signs the universe sends me, and I know this one is my papa, right by my side, still experiencing the beautiful outdoors with me. He may not be with me physically, but he is always by my side spiritually, and I'm so grateful I found a wave from the universe to show me that he is really right here with me.

me. I appreciate frogs in such a different aspect now. I even got a frog tattoo on my right arm next to a signature that I had tattooed after he passed. Whether or not my trail tale makes it on the podcast, I hope you too know how much you've helped me and probably so many others while being outdoors. Not only have you taught me the safe precautions of traveling, you've also taught me to find the people I love in more ways than just physically. I attached a photo of the frog we saw on Zion and the two frogs we saw in Mount Rainier. Thank you both for not only being you, but also for everything you do. Enjoy the view, but watch the universe, because it might have someone watching your back for you, McKenna. I just feel so loved right now.

Everyone's so nice in these. I know. Yeah, this is a great trail tales. Wow. Thank you, McKenna, for sharing that. Yeah, it's a beautiful story. It is. And it's so funny because it's like, it's so true. I mean, frogs, you know, like I have been to a lot of the places. that you've been and I can't ever recall seeing a frog. You know what I mean? It's like when you have this like language of signs with the universe or spirit or the people that you've lost, they show up for you in ways that are so personal. And just because we're all experiencing the same world and the same things, you know, there are certain things that stick out to us just for us. And I think that is part of why asking for and receiving signs is so special. So I hope. I hope.

you are showered with frogs for all of your years. Beautifully said. All right. My next story is titled ministering of angels. Hi, my name is Gabrielle. Please use my name. I might cry tears of joy. Hi, Gabrielle.

Hi, Gabrielle. I'm very religious and a very spiritual person. In my church, men or really boys, usually around the ages of 18 to 21, serve two-year missions. My family loved having the missionaries over for dinner frequent. During my senior year of high school, there was one missionary who spent about six months in my area, which is a little unusual to spend that much time in one area, but we became fairly close with this missionary and his companion. He told us a story of a friend of his who had been killed in an ATV accident, or something like that. This friend of his was very popular in his community and was known for his aspirations to spread happiness.

He often looked for signs to serve others and spread joy. His memory inspired acts of love and service throughout the community. They started spreading the hashtag Live Like Bow and made yellow bracelets for people to spread wherever they went. When Beau's friends began serving missions throughout the U.S. and around the world, his friends decided to take these bracelets with them to give to those they served on their missions. And just like that, the movement to live like Bo was spreading throughout the world. The missionary my family knew gave each of my family members this bracelet as a reminder spread joy like Bo did. This movement stuck with me for a long time and I kept the bracelet when I moved out to Utah to go to

school. My sophomore year of college, I joined a student leadership group and before the year started, all 40 or so of us went to a camping retreat in the Uintas. There is nothing like being outdoors in the fresh air. Away from the busy world, no cell phone service under a clear sky to get a group to know each other on an intimate level and my goodness did that happen. I only knew one or two people going into that trip. So I knew it was time to put on my outgoing, fun, friendly, big girl pants on. We were sitting around the fire one night, people chatting and getting to know each other. When I glanced over and noticed one of the guys had a bright yellow bracelet on. Trying not to be too obvious, I tried to read what the bracelets said. I wasn't sure,

but I thought it said, live like Bo. I had this overwhelming feeling come over me that I had to talk to this kid and ask him where he got that bracelet. I was really nervous because he seemed very cool and I didn't think I was cool enough to be friends with him. But I kept having this impression. Go talk to him. So I pulled those big girl pants back up and I approached him. I asked him if that was Bo's bracelet and he said yes. I asked him where he got it and he began telling me Bo's story like my missionary friend had told it. He had also been friends with Bo and had even been with him just two days before his accident. Now I have always been very sensitive to those on the other side. I have had many incredible spiritual experiences with friends that have passed, family members who have passed, etc.

In the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter-day Saints, we call this gift the ministering of angels. Good souls on the other side communicate and minister to us to help us through this life because, obviously, to say the least, it ain't easy. All of a sudden, as this kid was telling the story, I felt a strong presence with us. I immediately just knew it was bow. in my, I guess you would call it, mine's eye, could see him running around and dancing between the trees, obviously trying to get my attention. He was really goofy and he was saying things like, isn't my buddy over here good looking? Huh? Huh?

And I'm so glad to meet you. We're going to be buddies, aren't we? My friend was saying how frequently Bo would send him signs, oftentimes in the clouds, on hard days when he didn't know what he was doing or where he was going. Bo would send smiley faces in the clouds or a thumbs up. At this point in his story, Bo asked me to tell my new friend something. He asked me if I could tell him that he was doing a good job and that he needs to keep moving towards his goals and keep cleaning himself up. I felt super uncomfortable about this.

I had just met this guy. I felt like it was so not my place. I knew nothing about this kid. But Bo kept urging. Finally, I pulled up those big girl pants again and I blurted it out. Incredibly, might I add? Can I just tell you something? he laughed at my suddenness and the suddenness of my question and told me yes.

The urgency I felt to tell him what was going on was way too strong to feel any sort of embarrassment at my abrupt statement. And I just started to explain that although it sounded absolutely crazy, what I had been experiencing during our conversation, and tears immediately started running down his face and the same for me too. He started to explain that just days before, he was especially grappling with something he thought he needed to do, but he didn't want to pick himself up and go for it. He looked at me and told me that he knew what I was saying was absolutely true. He missed Bo so much and had been wanting to just talk with him forever. At this point, we were both practically sobbing and we hugged, although we had literally just met.

Bo thanked me and asked me to remind him that he is still right there with him and he wasn't going to let him struggle through things alone. It was beautiful. This kid and I continued to have a special bond throughout our time and our program because of this experience. I'm so grateful to know that those on the other side are with me and with the people I love. I firmly believe that we don't struggle alone, that there is always someone there supporting us through it all, whether we know it or not. Thanks for letting me share my tale. I love the podcast.

It's all the cool stuff I love, and I hope it touches your heart at least a little bit. All my love, Gabrielle. Wow. When you said that you have, you've always been sensitive to the other side, I was not expecting a full-blown experience with Bo and where that story went. Yeah, I know. That's more than being sensitive. That's being in tune with the other side. Yeah. And just like the divine meeting of, you know, like of all the people and for you to have that experience before to even know what that bracelet was. You know what I mean? Like all those years before. And then to now be around a campfire with someone

who happens to be wearing that bracelet. And for you to know, it's just there are so many pieces that need to fall into place for something like that to happen. But it seems like it was orchestrated just the way it needed to be and that you got a really important message to somebody who needed it. So right on, I loved it. No coincidences. My story. My last story. Right. My third story. Yep. Because I just have one bonus after this. Yeah. It's titled Snuggling a Duck. Hi, hey, girls. My name is Sam and I'm a huge fan of the pod. I grew up on the central coast of California and was exposed to some of the most beautiful natural settings you can imagine. So I have always been a lover of the outdoors. I started listening to the pod the summer of

2021 right before my first semester at college. Let me just tell you, you ladies have been with me on quite the journey since then, even if you didn't know it in like a non-creepy way. I have known for bringing up NPAD in every conversation possible and have successfully gotten many of my friends hooked as well. Anyways, I'm a junior now and just started a semester brought in Rome, and I have a sign story to share. Disclaimer, this is nothing about national parks, but we all love a good sign. Disclaimer, part two, it's long-winded. I got to Rome yesterday after 24 hours of travel, attributed to my college kid budget and several delays. Just about everything went wrong that could have. Every flight was delayed. I got lost in every airport. I lost and then thankfully found

my ID. There were children hitting whistle notes Mariah Carey would be jealous of. It was just a whole poop jamboree. I mean, I sat on my last plane for two extra hours before takeoff because there were birds that wouldn't get off the runway. Side note, I still don't know why they couldn't just shoe the birds away, but apparently they were pretty immovable buggers. I'm someone who gets stressed no matter what form of travel I engage in, so traveling for 24 hours by myself in foreign countries is kind of my personal nightmare. That being said, I'm also a person who believes that growth happens beyond our comfort zones, hence why I chose to study abroad in the first place. Anyway, as I was sitting on my last plane waiting for the birds to take flight so we could too,

I reflected on my day and almost started crying. I started questioning what I was doing and if I could handle this. I had just listened to a trail tales episode. I'd been stalking up episodes for this trip, and I decided since so many trail tales are about signs. from loved ones that I would talk to my grandpa who passed, hoping for some strength. I tried to think of what my sign would be. My brain was on birds, given the circumstances, and I always have liked ducks. I talked to him about my journey and how I needed his support to let me know it would be okay. However, I thought ducks were too common, so I asked for a lady holding a duck within the next 24 hours.

Maybe kind of... The specificity is what I'm here for. It's key. Well, it's funny because they go on to say maybe kind of specific, maybe even a little demanding. But what the heck? It's my first time asking for a sign, so go big or go home, I guess. I finally got to the place I'm staying and checked into my room. There was an issue with my reservation too, of course. This morning, I woke up and walked around the city, getting distracted by the breathtaking sites and completely forgetting about my request. I was directing myself on my phone,

but randomly chose a different street because the ones of the ones of the ones. on maps recommended were so crowded. That is when I got my sign. On the side of a normal-ass building was a picture of the Mona Lisa holding a duck. Yep. A lady holding a duck. I felt a wave of calm excitement wash over me. How can one be calm and excited, you may ask? I don't know, but I did it. I knew in that moment that everything is going to be fine. I know that he is proud of me. We were close and he loved to travel and always encourage me to seek adventure. I mean, heck, he even took the time to give me a lady holding a duck. Thank y'all for everything.

You've reignited a passion for knowledge seeking that I sometimes struggle to find in the college system. A special thank you to Danielle for being transparent about your journey, losing and grieving Ian. It has helped me to cope with some of the loss in my life, and I know the same is true for so many others. I'm convinced we were cut from the same cloth at some point, and that we have been friends in another life. Enjoy the view and don't be afraid to ask for signs when you need them. All the love, Sam. P.S. attached is a photo that I stopped to take,

which caused a group of tourists to pause and take interest in the Mona Lisa versus duck snuggle fest for no particular reason. L. a while. You stop and taking a picture in a touristy area, the crowds will come. Yes, they will. It's like, it's cool. I'm sure it's cool looking, but how special.

And this, again, the specificity and be demanding. I, all the time when I ask Ian for things or whatever, I'm like, I know I'm being probably annoying. And I'm so sorry, but like, what the fuck? Like, this is the only way I'll believe you is if you make this happen. Yeah. So, I mean, to recognize that you're being a little pushy is fine. But I think that like having the time frame and the timeline, I mean, I did something, I don't know if I said this before because it happened.

in December. So I feel like, I don't know, I definitely told you at some point. I don't know if I said it on the podcast. But basically same type of deal. It was like I wanted an answer for something. It wasn't even particularly to Ian. It was just like, you know, my people and universe and guidance type of thing. And I was like, okay, if it's a yes, then I want to see three wolves that I have, because here's the other thing. I have wolves all over place because I used to work at the wolf center. So I have different wolf things around the house and, you know, whatever. I'm like three wolves that I've never seen before in the next 24 hours. Goodbye. Short window. Good luck. Good luck on your mission. Yeah. And they have it boom, boom, boom, all the next day because I asked right before I went to bed and the next day. And I didn't know this, but it was the day that the news hit that they released the first wolves back into Colorado, which was December 18th. And that was my last wolf. And it came up on my news feed at the end of the day. And I was just like, there's my. my third one and, you know, anyways. So yeah, be specific and be pushy and they'll understand. Yeah, you got to ask for it. Ask and you shall receive. That's right. Okay, so the bonus story for everyone is titled Yellow Roses. Hello, NPAD community. I lost my partner suddenly and it shattered my heart, my world, and everything I thought my life would be. We were living our best lives together in the Pacific Northwest and every day was an adventure. For years, we explored the country,

snuggled at home, and daydreamed about our future. Where would we live? What would we do? Who cared? It's cheesy, but it's true. It didn't matter where we were as long as we were together. That's all that mattered to us. Documenting that time together, though, did not matter to us. We both rarely used our phones to take pictures of those adventures. When you're young, you think there will always be more time and more opportunities. Documenting our time together on film wasn't a priority because of that. I realized the lack of pictures of all of us, him, me, and our dogs, one day as we were reflecting on some of our fondest memories. Scrolling through my phone and clicking through the memory card of my camera, I saw lots of photos of pretty landscapes, funny pictures of the dogs, or pictures

of us individually admiring of you, but rarely a combination of all. To remedy this, I scheduled a photo session with a local photographer. We would road trip to the Alford Desert in Oregon and have some professional photos taken. I couldn't wait. So often, these types of photos are reserved for special occasions, a baby announcement, a family reunion, or a wedding engagement. But the special occasion I wanted hanging on my wall were none of those things. I wanted a visual representation of my special occasion, which luckily for me was just a snap of everyday life. We had to reschedule this session due to work conflicts at the very last minute, and I was bummed. But again, we had time. I was wrong. Less than two weeks later, my partner had died. The photographer was sympathetic and kindly

offered to refund our session. I took time to think about it, but ultimately decided to keep the appointment, although I switched up the location. Two months after his death, I was on my way to meet with her, and I was a wreck. I had draped myself in his clothing, his favorite jean jacket, and wore the hat that he so proudly bought just months prior. I printed out a photo of him, beaming from ear to ear on one of our visits to Cannon Beach, and placed it in a frame we bought at an antique store, which was now sitting next to me in my passenger seat. I was crying hysterically the entire drive, only mildly concerned that the photographer would be slightly horrified at my appearance. I was speaking to him in my mind, and out loud, asking for something, anything,

to show that he was still with me. To be fair, I had asked him for very specific things almost every day starting pretty much immediately after his death, and he showed up for me every time. But for some reason, I was so afraid that this would be the day that he didn't. And to my surprise, I couldn't think of a single thing to ask him for. The location was moved to a pretty remote location in Washington, and I couldn't think of one thing to ask him for as a sign that would appear for me that day. I was so upset and just finally blurted out, okay, babe, I just need something, anything that I will immediately recognize as you. I don't know what that will be, but I need you today,

and I want you to know that you're still with me. I pulled into one of the parking lots at Mount St. Helens National Monument and gathered the dogs and his photo. The parking lot was empty, aside from the photographer and one other car. After greeting her, I followed her down a path to the lake shore. Chatting and moving along, I was suddenly stopped in my tracks. And before I go on, there is one important background piece of information that you must know. I know different colored flowers are supposed to mean different things, from white to pink, red to blue, but none are as special to me as yellow.

If you ask Google, yellow is the color of friendship in the world of roses, but not in mine. In 2015, five years after my father died, my mom shared a very special story I had never heard before, one that she kept close to her chest, reserving only for her and her memories and her heart until that moment. I won't share the details, but let's just say, yellow roses instantly became hugely significant to me and reminded me of my dad and his love. I shared the story with my partner many years later, very early on into our relationship, and ever the attentive, loving person, he took immediate note. From that point on, I was showered with yellow roses. He gifted them to me on birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, days that tied directly to my dad,

on random days just to say I love you, and on that day in July, two months after his death. That's right, smack dab in the middle of my path, right between my feet, was a single yellow rose. The photographer hadn't even noticed it. She had walked ahead of me and right over it. I bent down and collected it in my hand. It was impossibly out of place. There was no one else around, no other sign of any other flowers, nothing abnormal, just a sea of evergreens, yet there it was.

I couldn't believe it. But then again, I could. Ian showed up for me just as he had since the moment we met. That day, I took photos with my dogs, with his photo, and with his flower. One of the most profound and moving signs I have ever received from him, when I didn't know I wanted, but desperately needed. It sits in my house next to his photograph to this day, where it came from, and how it came to be there, I'm not really sure. But it was placed directly in my path, and I know exactly who sent it. And that is my trail tale.

That's my story. Oh, I know that one. And as soon as you started telling it, I started tearing up. Yeah, so that's, you know, I've wanted to share that one for a little while, and it's one that, it's one that like my close friends, my family know. And like I said, I've been very pushy and demanding for, you know, pretty much immediately right after his death. And especially after reading signs by Laurelind Jackson, that was kind of the catalyst that somebody mentioned in their trail today. And, um, Just as a side note, and this isn't like, I don't want to be like, I know, I know about that book, but so many people recommend it to me. And I just want to say, like, I've read it. I know about it. I've read it. Yeah. And I actually read her other book, too. If anyone's interested, it's called The Light Between Us. And I also want to give away for a reading, a private

reading with her in August of 2022. And that's a story for another time. But yeah, the first thing she said to me is your fiance arranged this for you. And this lady has, like, she doesn't even have a wait list anymore because she's so in demand. And it was just amazing. It is impossible to get this reading and you got it. It would, and she, like, when she posted it, like the winner, like on her Instagram, she was like, you know, she had a bunch of slides. She's like after however, you know, hundreds of thousands of applicants or entries from, I think she said 70 countries. Wow. Over the last. Yeah. Oh, because it ran for like a month. And yeah. And then she and then like the last slide had my name tagged in it. And I was like I just like like relook at it like a few times. I would just like staring at it. I'm like,

what? And yeah, lo and behold. Yep. Her assistant got a hold of me and scheduled the phone call with her. And it was absolutely amazing. But anyway, so back to my story. Just, you know, as the ones that we've shared today, have kind of alluded to just people saying thank you and just being so open and vulnerable to share their deepest, you know, closest stories to them. You know, these things aren't easy to write about and to share with the world and people do it all the time. And I just feel so grateful and happy that we have created a space that people feel comfortable to do that. And I think it's, you know, we both think it's just so necessary. So I wanted to add my little story. into the pot just to kind of be like, I've been there too. And just as a way to say thank you and share

a little bit of myself along with everybody else sharing. Anyways, I guess the last thing is just really back to the grief retreat. Again, at the end of August, 2024, it's open for booking. I think there's only 15 spots. So if you're interested, please sign up. The website will be in the episode description. it'll be, I'll put it in my Instagram bio just so it's there as well. But it's the dash giving dash ground.com, the giving ground.com. Great. And we'll have it in the show notes. We can add it to the National Park Instagram bio too for people. Oh, yeah, yeah. So it's a quick. So we'll have it everywhere. Okay, we'll have it everywhere. Okay, great. Yeah. So thank you everyone for sharing your hearts.

as always. I really enjoyed this episode, even though it was pretty deep. Definitely a deep one, but like you said, we really appreciate that people feel so comfortable to write in these stories. They feel comfortable having us read these really intimate moments in your lives, and it means a lot to us, and for you to come on and share such an intimate and important story for you. I think speaking from everyone who listens, we really appreciate it as well, because I know that a lot of people feel very connected to it and that story with Ian. I mean, we always love hearing stories about Ian and how much. He's just the best.

I mean, that yellow wrote. You've got to be kidding me. I was just like, beat that romance. You could never. Bitches could never. Anyways, all right. Well, thank you everyone for listening. We will see you next week.

In the meantime, enjoy the view. But watch you're back. Bye, everyone. Bye. Thank you so much for joining us again this week. If you have a trail or story suggestion, send us an email at Stories at NPAD Podcast.com. Follow us on Instagram and Facebook at National Park After Dark and on Twitter at NPAD Podcast. Join our Outsiders only community on Patreon or Apple subscriptions to listen ad-free, unlock monthly bonus episodes, and exclusive content. And remember, when you support our show, sponsors, you are supporting our show. For our exclusive discount codes and source information from

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