Nerd Poker - Episode 17 - Icy Mists

Episode Date: May 15, 2019

The battle concludes, with a half-digested Halcyne in the balance, a frozen sea and an TikTok origin story laying ahead of the party to north. Hey, make sure to listen all the way to the end of the episode for more about our upcoming live Twitch event on May 19th! Also "date paste" is a spicy Skittles ingredient.

Hey everybody, I'm Brian Poussin, Comedian, writer, actor, nerd. I've been playing D&D with my friends for a long time. I decided to do a new podcast where we play Dungeons & Dragons in my very own dining room. With my wife, kid, and my noisy dogs. So meet my friends Sarah, Kev, Dan, Blaine, Chris. Now it's time for another episode of Brian Pussain's Nerd Poker. Season three. Hey, everybody.

It's Brian Pussain, and you're listening to Brian Pussain's Nerd Poker. I'm going to keep going. Was that because of the thing off air earlier? Date-based? Now we've got to tell people what that is later. All right. Where was I? Oh, Nerd Poker. now we gotta tell people what that is later alright where was I oh nerd poker

all my friends are here that's Chris Sarah Ken Dan and at the end of the table we have Sam hi it's episode 17 season three

and i want to thank some of our patreon supporters why don't you thank you cath bad thank you cath bad thank you anthony hort hort bad uh thank you oh sean bryant hey our maps he's one of our patreon supporters too thanks sean thanks sean what a goof and uh thank you most of all dark sir's sweaty bonus action i like it when last we saw our heroes, they were getting fucked up real good by some dark, slimy green salamander monsters from the ocean. They jumped on board, started swallowing people. The ocean?

The ocean is how I, your narrator, pronounced ocean, because I felt like it. Wait, Julian Cope? I don't remember who that is right now, so rather than look him up on Wikipedia, here we go with the rest of this narration. It's different from Citizen Cope. It is.

Cool. So, Queep busted out of the stomach after getting swallowed, but unfortunately, Halcine was reduced to zero hit points. Then Gulp down to his tum-tums. You guys are now faced with some difficult decisions. Fuck this thing up.

Or go back to school. Go back to school and get your GED. On Nerd Poker. So, up next we have Darkthor. Hey, Darkthor. Although you see Queep swinging his axe and crawling out of the giant corpse on the back of your new boat, the Admiral Dunn spied.

His buddy Halcine gets swallowed by this other motherfucker on your deck. Yeah, so I'm going to focus on that one now and try to release her without killing her. Yeah, Ma looks at you and says, should I just stay manning this cannon? Where do you want me? Well, this one's dead, so

come with me. We've got to release our friend. She says, what do you want me to do, though? We'll figure it out when we get there. I'm cutting. Do a persuasion check. Nope. I botched a persuasion check. Nope. I botched the persuasion check.

I'm going to stay by this cannon if you don't mind. All right. I'm not that worried about it. Cool. Run over and give him a hack, won't you? Yeah. First one. Piercing is... What's your attack piercing is 23.

That's definitely a hit. Nice. Hey, Brian, good job chopping. That's that frog. Thanks. Thanks. Who was that? My name is Tick Tock.

I'm a mechanical man. That's not. Something horrible has happened. What happened to him? What happened? Oh, nothing happened. I hope you didn't meet Billy. What the fuck?

What the fuck? Is there a new thing? I guess. I don't know. Multiple personalities. Ask Chris. He hasn't been the same ever since we downloaded his new operating system. It's a little programming leftover. Dagger's a short enough weapon.

I'm not going to make Halcine take damage. And then... Oh, that's important information. 16 slashing on the long sword. That's a hit. All right, cool. He hit with a dagger, and so I don't have to roll for damage. Oh, because it's short.

You wouldn't roll, but yeah. Or I don't have to take damage. Copy. Okay. Five on the slashing. All right. Halcyon, you're going to take two points of damage. Okay, so that means that I...

As he rakes across. Immediately take a... I have a death failure then. If you take damage. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Before he slashes, doesn't he know... You would aim at the head

yeah I'm aiming at the fucking head I'm not aiming at the belly alright alright what's your passive insight because what's your passive insight it's the left hand right

I think so yeah I'm looking for it on Hoshinka's sheet it's hand, right? I think so, yeah. I'm looking for it on Hoshinka's sheet. It's on the bottom left, I think. The bottom one? Passive wisdom perception? Passive wisdom? Oh, insight 13. Yep, okay.

I'll give it to you. Alright. So you don't take damage, Hoshinka. Okay. So five are on the neck of this thing. Just as a quick review for everybody with the way death saves work, at this point, since I'm at zero hit points, if I take any damage at all, which I probably will,

that's an automatic one failure each time. Jesus. All right. Well, that's me, right? Shit's looking grim for Halcyon i know but i'm still trying wait tick tock you're up we've got to get her out so we do um i don't die immediately i have i get three failures it's a failed save but there's only yeah right okay so i'm gonna go to i have two hand axes you sure do so i'm gonna take

one in each hand and i'm chopping tiktok's thought is hal seen's down here if i chop away at its dumb brain eye thing up here there's no chance of me hitting her you can't reach its eyes from the ground or just here you know what I mean? Just not down. You can hack at his face. That's what I'm thinking. You put yourself right in front of him though. That's the price of doing business. Can you scoot him? There's so little room.

Right in front of this guy. We thank Spencer Stander for the boat this episode. Oh yeah, thank you Spencer Stander. Thank you Spencer. I love having stuff like this. It's so cool. The minis are super fun. It almost makes up for the fact

that I'm killing my friend right now. We'll get Queep back up there in a second. Let's move the corpse and just know that the back corner is... Let's put a dime on the green to let everybody know that there's a giant corpse first chop is a 20 here put the inspiration token upside down there just so it's like

this flat area is occupied first chop is a 24 do you mean to roll damage or see if i hit the second one uh it's a hit uh yeah i mean you can it's it's up to you you can you can roll both attacks now okay he's stunned from electricity so he doesn't get a reaction really oh cool and then the second one is uh unfortunately a 12. uh that is also a hit oh great he has reduced ac from being stunned okay my thought is if i kill this thing i want to not stand i should say that for listeners if he's if this thing dies, I want to immediately reach in and yank her out. Understood. Me too.

What's your total damn-dams? Yeah, I gotta add for a second because I don't get a bonus on the second one. So the first one is a 5 plus 3, so it's 8. And then 6, so it's a total of 14. Alright, he doesn't look good. 5 plus 3, so it's 8. And then 6, so it's a total of 14. All right.

He doesn't look good. He's still alive. Who's next? Dr. Ud. You've been gathering. You took your last turn saying you're just checking this out. You've seen a lot of horrible shit go down in this round. So I want you to do a freebie insight check.

I'm going to... And tell me what your passive insight is too but do an insight check see if there's something else i tell you he's the one they call dr how about a one what's your passive uh my passive is a 14 you see the canon in front of you and you think about it no there's a cannon between you and this thing you've got your flame blade out but you notice your friend got swallowed it's got its back to you and there's a cannon between you and this thing but i would kill her right with? With that passive insight, you know the same thing that Darkthor

knows, that you could aim for its head. Could I aim for its head? Yeah. He's trying to talk to you. Aha, their stomachs are in their head. I'm going to... Can I aim it? Uh-huh. I'm gonna

aim it. Uh-huh. So put going to aim it. Uh-huh. So put your guy right there. I got it. Sarah's shaking her head. No, I'm not. I can't be. I'm swallowed inside a frog. Do a survival check

if you're going to fire this thing. Do I have cleats on my shoe? Do I have grip on my shoe? I might go with plan A. What's plan A? I was going to run up its back and cut its eyes off. That's okay.

You would have to do an acrobatics check to pull it off. Do you have a bonus? You may want to, yes, look at your bonus for such a thing. I got a plus three on that. That's pretty good. What's your survival bonus, just for listeners? My survival bonus is a plus four. That's my wisdom.

I don't want to hurt her. I don't want you to hurt her. So I rolled a 17 to run up this thing's back. You're on its back. Holy schmo. Right behind its eye stocks. And I'm going to attack the eye stocks. Roll with advantage.

That's a 20. A natural 20? That was a natural 20. Whoa. Never mind the advantage. Rolld 6 do you do like like the coast on the weekends at all who you me You. Me? Yeah, the way you said Dr. Uid's magic. 20. Really? Yeah. 10 points.

You guys see Dr. Uid run up this thing's back. Take his glowing magic sword of flame, plunge it right in there. How do you want it to look, Blaine? I thought he had the iPod up here. I was going to kind of do a little

just lop off his little twist. Yeah, his whole thing. All three of his eyestalks just go sailing into the water and arc across. Grody to the mess. And into the water. It collapses in a heap. I'm going to say

because everybody is rushing to get her out, you can pull her out, but you are still going to take acid damage and have an automatic fail. It's okay, so I'm one and one right now with that. And I have cure wounds. But yeah, so he can bring you back to one hit point,

but you've got a failed death save. Once I'm at one hit point, I'm reset, right? Yeah. But you take basically a success and a fail as you are dragged out and brought back. Congratulations. Congratulations. You killed two giant sea monsters that now

lie dead blurp and blurp poor sigmund they were going to fight with a naughty sea monster and give you a lot of shell vision halcyon you wake up covered in acid you manage to like creep

scrape it off pretty quickly but um both you guys feeling pretty rough. So I'm going to do a prayer of healing, I guess. Great. Once he gets the all clear,

Jonkel also comes up. As soon as he comes up, TikTok gives him a slow clap like, thanks for the help. Great job. Hey, man. I'm a halfling cook. Yeah, go make me a fucking salad.

I got like two hit points, man. Whatever. You have two hit points? Yeah, man. Okay. So everyone. That's fair. Anyone who needs it gets back 11 hit points.

Oh, yes. Thank you. Look at this. Back from the dead and healing It's beautiful Thank you Dr. Uwud My pleasure Sorry It sat on my keys Did he actually give good berries or anything

In addition to that 11 oh I can I can do a good berry who needs who needs stuff I still need stuff yeah we both need I mean we can rest

but it's also been a full day of travel and night is falling if you guys wanted to try resting below deck you can try that I got four for each of you guys

thank you because I'd rather go to bed with some hit points just in case now just a reminder you're about two days into what is like a 10-day journey. So one thing we should- I've done great so far.

You at level four TikTok took a feat, if I'm not mistaken. I did. It might be particularly good to be our navigator. Can you tell our listeners a little bit about it? Are you talking about the initiative one? Remind me what it is. Yeah, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you took a different one.

I think you're thinking of a different one. We discussed different ones. The one I ultimately went with was I got to go fast. It's like a plus five bonus to my initiative and I can't be surprised in creatures that... Not with today's politics.

Am I right? I can't even be shocked anymore. Please finish what you were just saying because it applies to what I was talking about. I'm looking for it now. Can't be surprised. I'm looking for it. In today's political... Jesus Christ, Brian.

It just doesn't stop. That would, I think, be useful for... I'm looking for my feet. Sorry, keep talking and I'll find it. Yeah, actually, continue. Keep doing your bit. For years. Keep talking. We've got a navigator and we've got a ship's captain.

So every day we travel. Alert. Yeah, alert is what I was trying to think of. Yeah. I can't be surprised other creatures don't get an attack. I'm sort of basically always looking around. So because you're alert, I will give you advantage on a perception roll as a navigator. Thank you. And I was trying to figure that out last game when you weren't here.

I babbled about, oh, he's got some feet. I remember. So I made someone else roll for you, and it was just awkward. But now we're back to me having a clear way to give you advantage. Brian, please roll a survival check. TikTok, please roll a perception with advantage for next day of travel well i rolled a 17 and an 8 and then with my bonus it's uh 17 becomes a 19 oh sorry yeah 19 28 great you guys managed to sail through uh theists, dodging a couple of very small chunks of ice and stay close to the shore, seeing no more signs of trouble. What are you doing with these frog hemoth corpses?

We just left them floating. Would you dump them overboard because they died on your ship? I think so, unless they're good eating. I mean, like, do we really? Like, I think we have enough food, right? The legs would be delicious. Jonko looks at it and says, to be honest, I think we could salvage a few days of meat off of these things. Okay, go for it. Yeah, we're paying you for it. All right, so he is going to add four days of food to your total, which will basically give you plus one from, or no, it'll,

instead of being down five days because you dumped two days worth of food off the boat you're now down uh one one day of food eat them for trying to eat us get them wine goes with frog hema uh while we're sort of sailing and passing time i think tiktok would say gather everybody and say i think we should probably talk about what to expect it occurs to me we were on the observatory there was a point made that we were the weakest of all these other super strong groups do you remember that when we were there like everybody else was much higher level we were low level and so when we get there somebody said didn't wasn't didn't uh hashinka say there's like ghosts or something out there i'm like i wonder if when

we get there we're gonna have to either deal with other people if they're i don't know these these chris you know something that no i don't know i'm literally just thinking ahead um what he's telling you that you might remember is the baron uh didn't he was kind of extra friendly with you because as you all looked around the room you noticed the other adventurers at other tables at this sort of dining event looked more seasoned well i asked tiktok about that wouldn't tiktok know why we'd been selected if we were he did he had taken everybody to the puzzle room where you all did that little flavor test with the glasses of scotch.

And he'd done that with all the other adventurers and they had solved it quickly and had a good laugh. Yeah, and then TikTok would say, it does make me think, however, maybe what if the Baron wanted us all to be together? What if the Baron made it so your coach was late? You know what I mean? Like knowing that this was in front of us, I don't think it's an accident.

It seems the more we learn, there are very few accidents. But didn't he want everyone to survive and we just randomly survived? But I'm saying, I think, I don't know anything. You're smiling at me. I feel like you know something

because what are you talking about? I feel like we were put together. You were put together? you're a mechanical man I pray to Val for to see if I feel like we were put together do a religion check and then write a religion check because that's all religion is it's just a bunch of people writing checks do it tax-free I think tax the. I think it's tax the church. What? You heard me. Tax the church. I punch Dr. Ud, but also I roll a three.

Ow! You don't get a vision of anything. So, why don't we do another next, another day of survival perception please. Brian, roll your survival. Yeah i rolled a 13 and a 6 so like the bonus it's a 15 okay for perception you don't see anything today tiktok is that unusual i mean you did get attacked by two giant sea monsters recently i think also because we're on the high seas i think tiktok is

taking off like his vest and his tie and his jacket. So it's just like white blouse and shirt. And he's climbing up here and hanging off the thing. Another day passes. Everyone's at full health. Also, something special happens today, TikTok. You go through your third day of- Birthday on Cabana Day.

Oh, yeah. Of studying your scroll. Sweet. You realize you can now summon Gus at will, a pseudo dragon who can change form. I immediately summon him. Are you kidding me?

So you guys are all just hanging out above deck, right? When do you do this, TikTok? Oh, when I'm up there. I'm like, ahoy! I see a friend approaching. And you cast find familiar. And you cast find familiar. And I cast find familiar. And you get this guy.

Yay. Someone passed this to Chris. What is that? It is exactly what it looks like. It's Gus the pseudo dragon in mini form. Oh, that's awesome. So Gus appears and says, oh, hello. I'm Gus.

You made me this way. Yeah, sorry. Why are you sorry? I don't know. I live to serve. Yeah, sorry. Why are you sorry? I don't know. I live to serve. Well, we'll work on that. Anyways. Weirdly critical, but I'll accept it.

You're my master. No, no. I want to make you better. Listen, we're going that way. Help us see what's ahead. Fly around. Okay. And he flies around. You're going to get a Help us see what's ahead. Fly around. Okay. And he flies around.

You're going to get a plus one bonus to your perception if you have him scouting for you. I do. As you know, if you've been studying the spell, I've given you the spell card. You can see through his eyes. Yes. If you like. Yeah. You're already rolling with advantage, so I'm just giving you a plus one.

Because you're alert. Let's roll another day, guys. That's yours. This roll brought to you by Dog Terpepper. 17. Soda for dogs. 17. I got a 9 and a 1, so with the extra bonus

it's a 12 alright so the mist is heavy today and despite Gus's assistance you don't see much well I think also I'm just like did you guys see that

orange dragon flying around that's our new friend that's awesome let's roll again welcome Gus the ice 5 and a half 16 ice 5 and a half Welcome, Gus. The ice five and a half. 16.

Ice five and a half. What did you get? 13. 16. This time the mists part a little bit. You realize you are rounding the north end of the northwest continent. You are approaching the open North sea. Ooh.

All right. I think I would tell everybody that, uh, you also notice there are, uh, what looked like glowing jellyfish following the boat. Very tiny little, how many, uh,

phosphorescent looks like, uh, maybe 50 or so. Are they beautiful? They're beautiful. Big. Like a sized, uh, fist size, or so. Are they beautiful? They're beautiful. Big? Mm-hmm. Like, us-sized? Uh, fist-sized. Like, bigger than

a micro one would be. Big enough to get your attention, but not like humanoid-sized or anything. Are you going to do anything about it? Not at this point. Do I know what, does anyone know what they are?

I'll have Fegma do a survival check. I'm good with animals. I'm a professor, or at least I was. Do a nature check, Dr. Ud. What you were born for. If I'm not mistaken, you get a ridiculous nature check.

I got a 17. Nice. Yeah, you think these things eat carrion and that they may have been following you for a while and they're getting closer because they enjoyed the froghemoth leftovers that were chucked overboard a few days ago. Okay.

They're not like vultures following us because they know we're dead. No, but they are like vultures. They're not like vultures following us because they know we're dead. No, but they are like vultures. They're like sea vultures. Vultures, jellyfish. No, exactly like that. You know that they swim fast because they're expecting something,

but you don't have to necessarily feed them. But they can't fly. No, but you would think you don't want to... No, I don't want to feed them. You don't want to fall in the water. And I don't want to feed them because I want them to go away. How many more days do we have?

No, you don't want... You have three or four days, approximately. the water. I don't want to feed them because I want them to go away. How many more days do we have? You have three or four days approximately. Can I have a poison spray? Can I spray some poison into the water and see if I can maybe... They will feast on themselves. Do an animal handling check as you do so.

That would be an animal... That's a four. That can't possibly work. They scatter a little bit, but yeah, they reform. You think you killed some. They come back. They didn't like it. As much as

invertebrates remember, they might. So, let's do another day. I'm trying to simulate this as best as I can in a role-playing game, and there are things that could happen if you guys roll under. Sure. 13. 12. Ooh, thicker mists

today as you reach the open sea. Thicker mists, darker secrets. At this point, Ma also gets a little nervous because you're sailing into open sea, and she says, hey, what's the what's the plan here exactly we're looking for a crashed spaceship she says a spaceship huh you think you heard you guys talking about it's like a an ark or something that you used to hang

out in yes uh observatory all right i should tell you guys, this is gonna be pretty dangerous where we're going. You should keep an eye out. You're telling us that now? Well, there's icebergs. We're gonna go... Tell us everything now. I've only been up this far north once.

There's icebergs. There's different kind of wildlife we could be encountering, frost-based wildlife, not just water-based, but let's just say things that might live on open ice as well as open water. And I mean, we should, I'll man one of the cannons, someone else should man it. And I want to just let you know,

when I suggested firing these cannons at those beasts the first second we saw them and you didn't take me up on it, I'm not trying to say I told you so. But I just want to give you guys my hearty recommendation that we fire immediately next time because that was real rough. All right. That makes sense. Let's do another check, you guys, as you sail into open sea. Do we want to adjust where we have these things? I would certainly allow it. I would say over time you would probably reset

them to midpoint unless you want to put them somewhere else. We wouldn't have one up front. You can totally do that. You can put your two cannons wherever you want them. They have wheels. One in the back? Or you would do side and side? You would know, Halcine and Dargthur that the standard defensive stance

is to have one on either side if you're anticipating pirates or hostile other boats. Front and back would be more of an offensive position for your cannons. Given that you're basically an exploration vessel to be that position with it implies you're going to attack something the second you see it when it's in front of you or when it's following you. I feel like we should have one on the back and one that's at the midpoint that we can move from side to side because we've been attacked from the back now. So that's basically what you got right now. So great.

So when I'm not whatever looking then i'll i can stand next to one of the cannons probably i guess this one up here to be ready to move it if need be i think we would make sure we have cannonballs on both sides so we don't have to do the running game and and some some here and some on each side that sounds good so roll your checks did you roll your checks yet? For today? Yeah. And I'd say at this point you feel like you're haunting the open sea.

22. 22. Yikes, my groiks. 15. So as you go through the open sea, it's really rough. But the icy mist, the frosty mist that feels like it stings as it hits your skin does part for just a second. And you think you see in the distance something that's not colored with white or blue hue. Tick tock.

You think you see something ahead very high off the ground and almost like a blackish brown. But then the mist sort of re swallow it. Oh, OK. very high off the ground and almost like a blackish brown. But then the mists sort of re-swallow it. Oh, okay. I'm going to destroy the mist in a 30-foot cube. Okay. So that it's in front of us, I guess. He would notice that it's sort of straight ahead.

Do you guys slow the boat? Yes. Okay. I would say there's something up ahead. Now, when you say above, you mean like there's a thing and then open space and then the water looks like it's a few hundred feet ahead okay and it looks like a few hundred feet above ground oh then i can't do that yeah but if you stop you can try to you know like yeah like a cube in front of the boat where it's heavy yeah it's only 30 feet i could do gust of wind but i don't want to waste that if um okay

but we should we can keep going i mean the sound will change if we go under here yeah yeah you send the phone how far is can you tell us how far the familiar can go from you and you can still see through its eyes he's checking the spell blame i'm looking yeah can we get a commercial while he reads fine familiar brought to you by a castrol for dogs engineered for today's smaller dogs castrol doesn't say oil for dogs all right uh then i'm gonna say uh this is a new spell for you you're not sure how far he can go do you want to just send him blindly and tell him to come back? I'll say, you know, stop when you...

While you're familiar within 100 feet, you can communicate with it telepathically. Okay. So what I would say is, you know, there's a thing up ahead. You feel like you would want Dagthr to steer the ship closer. Yeah. Ring us about, Dargther. Aren't you watching?

So as you steer closer, do a survival check to try to not hit an iceberg. Oh, shit. Nine. You rolled a natural one, though, Brian. Yeah. Did he just not tell you? You get up there. So you approach.

Withholding it, he saw it. You approach and It's beneath an iceberg? The mists are really heavy. So as you try to get close the boat rakes up against something hard, and you manage to stop it before any catastrophic damage happens,

but your hull just took some damage that I've tracked. So that happens as you approach an ice flow. There's not a lot of ice before. There's a sheer vertical bit of ice ice and you realize this is a very tall ice flow okay let's send it up okay so say go up see what you can see and then start talking as soon as you're back within 100 feet all right boss can i call you boss sure i'm doing that now goodbye and he flies away uh as he goes up he makes it pretty far um and it's difficult to see uh do a perception check tick tock nice am i and i saw that plus one because of him um

no that was just for navigating the boat 21 fuck so the mists part for a second and you think you see about a hundred feet off the ground it's difficult because he starts to get out of range right um what looks like a uh a broken boat sitting on top of this vertical ice flow who's in the mood for a climb i could fly up. Oh, wait a minute. Cuckoo bird. Gus communicates with you telepathically too.

And says, if you want a boss, I can, I can keep going. We'll just lose our link for a second. Hang there for a moment. Cool. So yeah,

we're going to fly up ahead. All right. Do it. Couldn't you also bring people up one at a time once he figures it out? You want me to check first or bring somebody with me now? Why don't you go check first? All right. All right.

Trancy, how high up can an Aarakocra fly? Is there a limit? I'm going to find that out. If there is a number, I don't want to know. I think an Aarakocra can fly. I'm going to find that out. Yeah. Let's see. If there is a number I don't want to know, I think an Aarakocra can fly as high as it wants. Me too. It ranges 50 feet per turn. Okay.

All right. So you can get all the way up there. These are bird facts, Sam. Do a perception check, Queep. All right. 13. So it gets very windy as you fly up. The ice flow seems natural as you get close to it and kind of fly up towards this ship.

You notice this seems to have been a random ice flow that this thing crashed into either on purpose or not. But magic didn't a random ice flow that this thing crashed into, either on purpose or not. But magic didn't form the ice flow. It seems like something that would just have been floating in the water. And it seems with Dargthyr's massive survival role, you got quite lucky by finding it so fast. This boat, this airship, you're not sure what you were looking looking for but it's as close to an airship as you queep have ever seen um when you went to the observatory uh of the baron of pepper green you didn't see what the shape was of this thing that was dislodging itself from the observatory and

flying into the sky but it does look like maybe there's some stone built into it and there's these large sort of brass and and copper bracers that look like it held part of it together that are now splintered open um however you do see what looks like a magic bubble over the top um and it looks like it is for all intents and purposes a very very large boat about five times bigger than your boat it's tipped on its side at a 45 degree angle and the front half of it is smashed off but instead of a sail there is what looks like a glowing magical dome over the top and the wind is strong it's really hard for you to find anything except for just little chunks of broken ship where you could potentially land your friends

i'll fly back and tell them all this okay so do we think we can open the the bubble? I don't know. It looks like it might be magical. You could have him do an arcana check. And also, if it's a magical bubble, someone is there to have cast that magic, yes. So maybe it's not even a magic. Or is it the original bubble from the arc? A magical bubble that would last more than 10 years.

I mean, I'm assuming someone has to be Alive to cast magic So maybe it's not even a matter of bursting the bubble Maybe it's a matter of just getting attention The bubble's protecting something Or someone And now I'm gonna go with something Like shoes

Living shoes Yeah it could be living shoes or a sandwich oh a magic sandwich well you could say there's not a lot of it could just be like

armed response to land yeah you think yeah you saw what could have been a landing but the wind was stinging your eyes and you thought

well I'm just scouting this first who would be the best person to take up there would it be someone perceptive yeah

so it would be tiktok or you would know from experience that lifting tiktok is a bit difficult he is the heaviest and you have had quite a few shenanigans trying to make a speedy getaway while i don't know what you're talking about we invented the running fly i have a plus three to perception all right i'll take you yeah take her great i don't know i I mean, Dr. Wood might have better. We're doing an inventory of who's got a good perception bonus. I have a plus four. Oh.

So. All right. You have to sing Can You Read My Mind, though, when I take you. I just did a quick. Oh, sorry. Read my mind, love. I Googled Eric. What a tale my thoughts can tell.

Is that the right one? It scored lifeless. That's it. Eric Okra, Altitude. Ooh, that my thoughts could tell. Is that the right one? It's Gordon Lightfoot. That's it. Air Cobra Altitude. Ooh, that's the right Google. I have excellent Google. That should be your team name. Yeah, apparently there is no real rule.

Yeah, that's basically what I got from Air Cobra height limit. A lot of DMs being like, why is there no height limit? Because all of my players are Air Cobra, and they just want to fly constantly. Right. Well, it's up to the DM to find how to limit the flight and not make it a godlike power. And what he has to do is an athletics check.

That's tricky to carry Dr. Ewitt up there. So do an athletics check. All right. So you get him up there, but it is wobbly as hell so now you have to do a perception check with disadvantage dr ruud as the winds catch under how high up is it if i want to 21 uh that was with a disadvantage it is the bottom bottom of it is 200 feet up. What's the disadvantage? It is very high. Take the lower number. Take the low number, yeah.

16. So 16 plus 3 is... You do find what looks like where the front of the airship is shattered, a lower deck that is not covered by a magical bubble and looks like it could fit your whole party. I'll drop you off there and go down for someone else. Circle for parking and I'll meet you right here

by the snack machine. I'll let you leave him there, but you're going to do an athletics check for each person you bring up and you're going to take a penalty for TikTok. Sure I am. Unless you want to, well, do we have levitate? I don't think you guys have any flying spells

or can you turn me into something teeny tiny like a chipmunk or a baby bird are you talking to me no one has polymorph in this party just anything like that yeah I fling my arms around the bird let's go I have polysure so it's just not

oh you could turn me into a weasel. Yeah. We could cut him into pieces. That's it, buddy. That's it. Cut him into pieces and then tear him. Oh, God. You should throw that can away. I know. He's knocked an empty can over three times. So, Queep, while

you try to lift Halcine, a huge gust of wind blows you side to side and you do not drop her but it takes you the better part of three hours and it becomes night time. Oh my gosh. Is she just grabbing his eyes the whole time? He just can't catch a good wind.

I shouldn't have been eating all that chunky monkey. Date pace. It's so good. Alright, now we have to put the date pace thing after the episode. i knew i went when i was in elementary school there was a kid that ate date paste all the time it is now it's now night time you can try again if you want but uh there might be a let's say more difficult athletic show for next person so roll all right well who's up it's up to you you're gonna just put Halcine down and be like you suck

you have to land back on the boat without Halcine because you didn't roll high enough oh I don't you know he's under a 10

so he just got three hours it took him three hours to get there three hours to try to get there got it so I'm gonna try again

sure got it but it's night time now oh my god wow what did you do the winds begin to howl you are whipped I'm going to try again then. Sure. Got it. But it's nighttime now. Oh my God. Wow. What did you do? The winds begin to howl. You are whipped side to side.

You don't make it. A seven, I'm sorry. Yeah, you get a 10. Or this wouldn't be happening. The wind makes it impossible to find again. Hey, Dr. Uw. would do a survival check did anybody tie a rope and this low you do not know if rope for the night all right you managed to huddle up you find a doorway where you can avoid the wind and you your survival

instincts are pretty good. You've lived in silver henny woods with nothing but the owl bears to keep you warm. I've got a few tricks up my tunic. And so you don't take any cold damage while you wait for these goofballs to- How about flu damage? Do a anti-vaxxer check.

No, just kidding. All right, it's morning. The winds seem like they might go easy on you. Do another athletics check, Queep. Halcine's very embarrassed, so. That was a 20. Boop! You teleport somehow, despite that not being an option.

No. Yeah, this time the wind completely died down. And because you rolled a 20, not only do you get Halcine up there, but you're like, oh, good win, good win. You get to roll advantage and bring in the next person up yeah so i would do tiktok if i was if i was named ken sure 16 so over 20 21 you get tiktok up next with a break in the wind now it's just dark dark sir and uh i don't know if you want to bring Hoshinka or one of your other NPCs. We'll discuss that later. No, I think they stay on the boat. Yeah. 18.

Great. You get Dargthor up there. Where do you guys want me to bring Hoshinka and anybody else? Have we anchored the boat? I'm assuming that's what the boat people have been doing. I think we would leave them there to take care of the boat while we're waiting. I would give you just a gimme without going back that you can send

Gus down to just communicate whatever you want. Take care of the boat. They can anchor it. Stay here. Keep the water running. Sam, how are we doing on time? We are at 43 minutes. That's a lovely amount of time everybody

very um wind noisy here but indeed dr uid has been uh positioned at a door he didn't did you wouldn't have checked out the door without uh going through it right you wouldn't go through it but what would you do anything with this door while you're spending all night up here uh i would probably uh uh decorate it tinsel and stuff maybe maybe a tot finders no of course i'd check it out i'm not gonna go inside do a bonus arcana check bonus arcana i was born in bonus 22 so god damn you spend all night here you check out the door there's no lock on it that uh you normally would find but you you you realize oh there's not a keyhole there is there is however some kind of um uh force on the other side of it that's physical

it's not magical and also like you can kind of see just the edge of the bubble up at the top and you think about it for a while think about other magic you've seen you listen to the wind and you think it must be a device generating this dome because it would take

a lot of concentration for a spell like this to be sustained overnight so perfectly over this broken ship. It must have been set up when the ship was in running order and it's still running somehow. Some sort of mechanism. Maybe from the control panel.

But it's magical in nature, which is how you figured it out with that beautiful arcana check. I guess I was being hopeful that someone would be alive. Well, I don't think it necessarily means that they're not. The door feels like it might be physically barricaded, but there's no lock, is what he figured out. I mean, he did put me on an ark and then crash it. So I get that you're loyal to him, but...

But you wish him death, I see. No, cool, cool. Let's explore, or... Yes. I mend TikTok's broken heart. Should we... The end. Push this door open?

Can we push the door open? Who wants to give it a try? I will. I mean, I know this. I mean, I feel like... Who's the team Beefcakes? Is that Queep and TikTok? I think so.

Might be Halseen. Halseen's also pretty fucking rowdy. I think it's probably... Who's got the. I mean. This is going to be either athletic or strength. Check. Your choice.

I will do athletics. Also, maybe is there a way to go up and take a, take like a visual pass around this thing and see if there's any movement or. If you want to do that, well, I'll let you recruit a buddy to do an athletics with advantage to slam

against this door. How's it going, dog, sir? Do you fancy some calisthenics? Double roll it, baby. Not you. You're helping him so he gets advantage because he took the lead on it. Just hang out and he gets to roll twice. Just help.

He's got a 15. Can't quite get it. It rattles a little bit. Doctor, put your back into it. Queep, do a perception check. Halcine runs at the door. Wait. Halcine what the door? I just run at the door. Okay. 11. Do an

athletics check. You do not get advantage. 19. Queep, you think you see just like a weird oily kind of like sheen to this dome, but it's hard to see through.

Do you see what looks like objects and maybe stuff? But it's too milky for you to see through. I'm trying to check the perimeter of the dome, see if there's any generated stuff. The dome covers pretty much the whole top, and you think whatever's generating it is underneath the dome. Halcine takes a dive at the door and smashes it open it comes right off the hinges and uh you are back to full strength falls to the side yeah by the power of fucking gave it storm power and um what you see inside is a chillingly quiet room so if you uh if you're just sort of like peeking

through the what's the word i'm looking for uh more precipice or whatever uh yeah like you just see darkness there's there it's not magical darkness it's not a darkness as a dark third would cast but it is it is dark and uh those you with dark vision can tell it's it's it's a um a posh looking room can i tell where we are because this this was i assume can you tell if it's the place yeah i mean is this the observatory where we used to live we're gonna do a history check from Mr. Tick Talk. It's a nine. You have been through this room in passing. You you you just you're short of it, but you like it. There's no room in the in the barrens keep that you haven't been in, but you just can't quite place which one this is because all the

furniture has slid to the right side because this thing is tilted at a forty 45 degree angle. Does it look familiar to us though? No, no. Only he can do it because he's been there before. But can I get us to the dome? Like if I know where the dome is, can I head us up towards that?

I mean, you feel like you are three sort of flights down in the deck. All right. I send Gus up ahead and say, is everybody ready to explore? Yeah. So you're going to send Gus just flying around this room? Yeah. He heads in. He says, well, sir,

I can't really find an open doorway, but there are three doors. We could pick one. All right. let me just grab the one that's straight ahead I got a little hands yeah do it use your little hands three levels down this mean direction's getting out the dry erase markers I'm flying back since I haven't found anything remove your peoples from the boat

and uh bye bye ship thank you Spencer I'm sure we'll see the time boat again in no time oh yeah where am I I took you down oh thank you

take it off oh let's leave this up here bye time boat Take it off? Let's leave this up here. Bye time, bub. Goodbye, Brian. I'll see you next time. The end of grief. So, yeah, you just lost the cannon and you're dead straight.

You guys are entering here. Is that cannon? It's William Conrad. I'm going to do some stand-up comedy. I'm going to pull your mic out of the stand. Everybody from Chicago.

Comedic stylings of Mr. Oh, yeah. What's up, hometown of Chicago? What's up, Beat Kitchen? What's up beat kitchen what's up lincoln lodge stegosaurus uh they have bony plates on their back on a spiked tail dumbest thing over to walk on the earth all right so uh he's gonna try this store well that's what blame is asking so are you doctor are you cool with the one directly across from us? I was going to say, maybe, yeah. If that's the one that's going deeper into the bowels of the ship, yeah, let's do that.

So he opens. Can I have flown back by this time, just since I haven't found anything? Absolutely. I actually assume that. So you have him open this door. You see a massive, what looks like a room just full of giant gears turning, and you hear loud clanking noises. Clanking noises.

We're going to slam the door and then open it again, and it'll be a tiger. There'll be a train coming in. Should we maybe turn around and look at everybody, and then we open one of these other doors? Because it seems like there should just sort of get a lay of what's going on here. This is like an engine room, or it could be what's keeping up the bubble. What does this look like to you, TikTok? Is this familiar?

Do a history check. Doing a history check. Nine. You again feel like you've been here, but it's hard to remember. I feel like there's no advantage to us lowering the bubble at this point.

You remember that you've cleaned machines that took up whole rooms in the observatory and this could have been one of them. Sorry, because you're not sure if the airship was seated in such a way or that you ever saw that dome erected that this could have been any part of the observatory. You're not sure. Okay. Well, other doors. Yeah.

Is there more to that other side of that room? Does it look like? Yes. Other doors? Yeah, I think we'll try it. Is there more to the other side of that room? Does it look like? Yes. There's two other doors here.

I feel like... We should have called ourselves the Dan Folds Five. Sorry, I just popped the cap of that marker right next to the microphone the cap and what? he flies around some more there is no other door he just sees more gears back here and there's a small desk

in the corner that is bolted to the ground investigate desk search the desk investigation check are you going to walk over? into the gear room? I'll walk over. Into the gear room? Okay.

Who's got the best investigation? Okay. I don't have a great investigation. I have plus two. I have plus one. Who's the detective? I'm sure it's not me. Who's the gumshoe of the ice five?

It ain't me either. Doctor? I have a plus three. I'll take a go back and I'm good at rooting through desks. He had tenure for rooting through desks. Seven. That's not a good root. Plus three.

So it's ten. Still not a good. No, you find piles and piles of parchment. Like? No, there's things written on it in gnom mish no mish i speak no mish yes bring it over to tiktok yes uh these are instructions on how to operate a giant arcane machine from another dimension that you uh will need to do uh an arcana check on 21 Dan it seems like a place where

modrons and such are from you remember these being clockwork beings that sometimes the Baron would compare you to right right right interesting and I believe this might indeed power the the

airship or some part of it. It could be you'd suspect the dome because the dome is operating and not propulsion unless there is some sort of propulsion device going. But this is because it's arcane in nature. You think it has a magical purpose. So we do you want to go outside and I'll count to ten and then turn it off and you can see what's what do you know what I mean don't you feel like

what's the advantage to us turning off a protective bubble around where we are right now so we're keeping us warm like wouldn't it be better to oh it's around us

it's around the top well the bubble is over the whole top of the where we are so why not explore first also it will set off an alarm sorry

yeah am I yeah so you know what I mean if we explore you have two more doors you can as long as we can get inside the dome i'm looking for answers yeah i don't know we're already are we inside the dome you're under the dome yeah we're under the dome like if if this tray is the

airship it's first of all tilted at 45 degree angle but the dome is up here and you guys are like way down i feel like they're that is the life preserver if this were a ship. Right, so let's not turn it off, right? Well, now that everything has landed, I'm wondering if... Oh, I see what you're saying. You think it's like a... If anyone survived, perhaps they are inside that dome.

But we're in the dome. I feel like there's a little bit of confusion about where we are physically. I mean, for me too. Yeah, you're the third deck down. The dome ends here? But we're like part of what is protected by this dome, right? We're like inside a structure that has a dome over the top. The front is smashed in and you got

because part of it was missing. So at least the front of it was exposed. But then once we got in, where we are now is under the dome, right? Correct. And this door that you came through was barricaded. Right. So I say let's keep...

At the very least, you think, yes, unless there's some other entrance. The other doors. These doors and this room are protected by the dome. And where you do shut it down. Something could come in through the top and come down to get you if it was say circling like a vulture. Yes, above right. Let's check the other doors.

Okay, sounds good to me. Cool. Which one you want to start with door on the right that one? Yeah. Frog Hamas. What are you doing with the door? Gus, open that while we stand back here Can anyone check for traps? I'll check for traps

You're going to check for traps? Alright, do an investigation check Gumshoe Uid 22 No traps I'll try and open it you're gonna do it yeah a giant spring comes to life and fucking coils

around you and chokes you to death like it gets an anaconda sorry bitch uh oh he did that again do you still need to be standing there why would i he's drunk with power that's what it was I did that again. Cut that again. Do you still need to be standing there? Why would I? He's drunk with power standing there.

That's what it was. Can Sam sit down? I think it's very funny. I have to listen to this episode. That's a tough arrest. I thought it was really funny when you said thorn whip that bitch. We'll keep them both in. But I would never say it to anyone except the person i'm

saying it to except a bitch and i mean like you know that they probably deserved it okay true the door pops open and there is a uh spiral staircase um made of stone like that very small room here and it there's like a landing and it goes up excuse me yeah shall we ascend let's go upstairs i send gus up all of you or just gus yeah gus reports down and uh if you fly him all the way up yep all right he says well it goes up uh looks like all the way to the top and and then there's some sort of landing. All right. And then what, a sconce? It's underneath the dome, I think.

Oh. Observation deck. But there's a door between you and the top. All right. Why don't we go up and get ready? Yeah, let's go see that other door. Opening doors. Check this other door first. Are you going to go all other door open and doors first are you gonna go all

the way yeah where are you going there's and he tells you there's two other there's two other landings for yeah like sub basement two and basement one i mean and then top level i think all the way up all the way up to where the bubble is why don't i check the other door sure see what's in there next one up no we No, he needs the one over here. We're like clearing out this room. Before we go upstairs. Investigation check. Trick or treat?

Trick or treat. D-R-U-D. I think what was so rattling is I have not even used the word bitch in probably like five years. So it was just like, why? I'm just trying to insult you guys. It's like how I stopped saying decent. It is jammed

almost rusted shut. It feels like strength check. You want to smash it? Twenty bloom. It explodes open and you find rotted food there. There is the remains of a storage room it's about the same size as this stairwell this is um and there's no other door it's just like a

it's like a pantry and you feel like uh you know maybe maybe servants were supposed to walk back and forth from here to here or maybe this room that was smashed to pieces where you came in used to be a dining room. You don't know. Let's go upstairs. Up one or all the way to the top or up two. Up to the door that was stopped. There's three doors.

You can go sub-basement two, basement one or ground floor. First floor. The whole party's heading up or he's heading just Gus? You're going to pop the door open and fly around? Let's all go. We can crack the door

open and have him scuttle out and see what's what. Do an investigation check on that door. You're going to crack. 22. How are you doing this i know 19 it's a beautiful little mini dice he's rolling so you crack the door open just a little bit and you just know you'll be standing i feel like there's a trap you just kind of peek out um you see a um a pink and blue swirling magical dome that's gigantic just going across the top and you also see that everything on the deck because you're at a crazy angle and i haven't made you roll because there's

no bad guys or anything but like you're at like this insane tipped angle trying to like side and adventure angle you know using your hands to cross these rooms everything has slid to one side and you see what looks like smashed observational equipment, skeletons. There's skeletons up here. It's also dusty. It looks like no one has been cleaning up here and it's gotten kind of like kind of untouched for a while. Is this the room that we were all in? It is very vast

and you just do a perception check. 14. Looks like maybe there's a room you're in. I mean, all these places, these rooms look

kind of unfamiliar to you. I mean, you could check. I would say, yeah, that room we were in, remember, because there's such a point, but there's like that panel. At this point, the door is wide open if someone decides.

You should definitely check. I'll check. If someone else checks, so the cover is blown if you're trying to be stealthy. 20. Yeah, I think that's fine. Okay. Yes. Yeah, I think that's fine. Okay.

Yes. This is the observation room that you all ate dinner in. All right. Well. We've come home. We're back. We won. Yay.

And on that note, I think we will pause the episode. Oh. And I will give the microphone back to somebody I would love to hear from. Hey, Sam. Why don't you take your microphone back that I've would love to hear from. Hey, Sam, why don't you take your microphone back that I've been stealing to walk around and draw? Sure.

What do you think happened, Sam? I'd be happy to tell you. Get my notes. Alright, so if you're just tuning in now, Sarah started the episode. Sarah is still inside of a frog Barry. Nope. Billy has

a very special energy. Dr. It ran up a frog and cut its eyes off and Sarah fell out. We're going to eat the frogs, which is fucked up, but I get it. Chris rolled the dice and won a tiny dragon ice hurt

time boat and oh shit. another boat, a bubble boat. Ken's doing bird shit, dropping people off, which is my favorite part of this game. Ken's doing bird shit. Sarah can't be dropped off and it's very embarrassing. The bubble is oily. And at this point, I stopped taking notes because Dan took my mic,

but it seems like a whole bunch of dungeons and dragon-y shit. Thanks, Sam. That was episode 17. Anything you want to plug? Check us out May 19th. Part of the Dungeons and Dragons the descent event. We will be

doing an in-person meet and greet. I don't know if all of us will be there, but we'll do a little thing before we videotape our little thing videotape before we bust out the old reel to reels for twitch.tv uh we will be broadcasting from dnd's network and we will uh share the broadcast from nerd poker's channel so actually uh here's something i should remind everyone to do we've only done one broadcast and it's not archived uh except on i think youtube it's on youtube but uh check out twitch.tv nerd poker pod is uh it's got a couple hundred followers but uh you should you should hop on there to make sure you can watch us on may 19th cool uh you can support us on uh

patreon and uh should i tell people what we're gonna do uh near mint so tell people what you can support us on Patreon. Should I tell people what we're going to do? Should I tell people what adventure I have planned for May 19th? Yeah, do whatever you want. Oh, cool. You guys seem very invested in the political future of Bozor, so we're going to do a little flashback of while you were helping get your boat together and the couple of days when you were just sort of talking your boat together and like that that the couple of days when you were just sort of talking to people bozor you're going to influence the mayoral election

which is what we're going to nice again we're going to elect a mayoral political intrigue episode on the twitch broadcast there very well might be some combat involved as well great just be a an episode written by Aaron Sorkin. That's a bummer. Terry's not allowed to vote, so. Oh, no. Too many DUIs. Thanks, everybody.

Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening to another episode of Nerd Poker. You can follow us at patreon.com slash nerdpoker, and you get bonus episodes from there. patreon.com slash nerdpoker, and you get bonus episodes from there. And you can also send us anything at P.O. Box 16069, Encino, California, 91416. Thanks for listening. Whatever. I guess it's very funny, but they do.

Shorghum wheat, date paste, and what? Pear? Pear juice. What do we have left? Let's make some cookies. Well, I got some sorghum wheat, some date paste, and some strong-o-wheats. Some date paste.

And some beer juice. Bake them up. Jesus Christ. Why do you care so much? Why does it matter? It just sounds like the worst pile of shit. You're such a silly boy. Let's try that.

Put on a show. Oh my God. Preheat that oven. All right. There's a hot box in here. Pre-set cookie sheet. We're going to town. Tonight I'm chopped.