Nerd Poker - Episode 23 - Time Roulette

Episode Date: July 18, 2018

It's about that time! Time for our heroes to bring their spoils back from the feywild, but should their bring Netty too? And why was she being a jerk? Oh, and how many days are we from the apocalypse? Dan makes none of these questions easy.

Hey everybody, I'm Brian Poussaint Comedian, writer, actor, nerd. I've been playing D&D with my friends for a long time. I decided to do a new podcast where we play Dungeons & Dragons in my very own dining room. With my wife, kid, and my noisy dogs. So meet my friends... Sarah Ken Sam

Lee Now it's time for another episode of Brian Pussain's Nerd Poker Season 2. Hey, everybody. Are you ready? Zip. Anyway, Brian, you'll never believe it. You know how they say that a Twinkie has like a lifespan of like 3,500 years? Yeah.

I took a Twinkie 3,500 years ago. No way. I put it in a lunchbox, buried it in my yard, and I dug it up on Saturday, but like a, not a morning, late afternoon. Oh, man. It was delicious. Are we going? Yeah.

Hey, everybody. It's Brian Pussain. You're listening to Brian Poussin's Nerd Poker. Episode 23? Yep, that's it. We're episode 23. Yeah. My friends are here.

Sarah, Ken, Dan, Blaine. Hi. And me and Columbo. Yeah, Columbo's here too. Hey, guess who else is here? Our patrons. Sorry to bother you, podcast. Hey, patrons.

I want to thank you. Why don't you Google me? I want to thank Jace M. Thanks, Jace M. I don't even know what that is. Thank you, Ms. Smith and Mr. Roberts. Very formal. And their magic bus.

Thank you, Postal Blowfish. Postal. Thanks, Postal. Thank you Postal. Thanks, Postal. Thank you, Ethan. Thanks, Ethan. Thank you, William Ashton. Ethan? And thank you, most of all, Turdman8her2.

Turdman what? You stepped on the funny one. Turdman8her2. What was the guy that I also stepped on after Ethan? Ethan? William Ashton. Yeah, William Ashton. Thank you, William Ashton.

No, it's just a lot of fun to say silly things. And say the last one again. You've got to say it a third time. Turd Man ate her too. Turd Man ate her too. Which part's the middle name? It sounds like a lice's play that I can't figure out. I'll highlight it for you.

It's that word there. Terminator 2. Terminator 2. They really look like a license plate I can't figure out. I'll highlight it for you. Terminator 2. Terminator 2. Ken wins the joke. This is like a magic eye for the ears. We live right by where that movie was shot. It's true. I always think of the only

location of any of those Terminator movies being the LA River when they go down. Yeah, that's obviously the area. But the Arclight used to be the Galleria. Yeah. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Huh.

The Sherman Oaks Galleria was a famous mall, so it was in a bunch of... That's where we see the movies. Commando's in there. T2. Fast Times. Fast Times. Oh, wow. Is Valley Girl there or is it deeper in the valley?

Valley Girl was there. Chopping Mall? Chopping Mall was there, yeah. We did a Mr. Show sketch there right before it closed down. Like in the last year where it was really sad. There were a lot of empty stores. And it was sort of a... Most malls at this point have to be like the Galleria if they're going to keep going.

But they gutted it. They gutted it. And then Warner Brothers Animation went in. Took the mall out of it. A bunch of restaurants. And there was a tower there for a while but it used to be an enclosed building outside of mall of america i grew up in the south suburbs of chicago and there was all malls there was like the hillcrest mall the louis juliet mall there was all these malls and now they're all just

like there's trees it's like the tim and eric they're all just like, there's trees. It's like the Tim and Eric movie. There's dogs roaming through them and shit. It's crazy. When I came out here in 86, I was very young, and I was out here for two weeks with my friend Leonard, and I bought a lottery ticket, and I won 50 bucks, and we went to that mall, and I bought white guest jeans. And you still fit in them.

Yeah, I probably would. What are you guys' favorite stores that used to be in malls and barely make sense? Babbage's. Yes, Babbage's! Electronics. Orange Julius. Get your orange whips. I remember they had coin collector

stores where you could go buy expensive pennies. And what happened to the stores that had swords and shields and shit right there's still places like that like tobacco stores those faces that spit at you shields, swords

pipes Spencer's gifts still exist and you pull the tight ends there's still Spencer's at the mall out in Arcadia the weird gifts that you And you pull the tight ends. There's still Spencer's at the mall out in Arcadia. There was also like those weird gifts that you would get if you went to a men's store. Like backgammon sets and like weird shoe buffers and decanters.

Yeah, portable bar. Like shoe horns with springs on them, stuff like that. Times have changed. Oh, man. I remember Babbage's was so great. Now they have a robot that does your shoe for it. Computer games all lined up. Yeah, Babbage's was where it's at. What happened in episode

22 as we're reminiscing? Well, and I'll do what we often do when we record multiple episodes in a row and I'll do the abbreviated version because all the players at the table remember. Do they? Well, it just happens. So you

guys just opened a portal. One half of you player characters are at the top of a long tunnel. This is, I will also throw out there, longer than the last time you used a portal to take a shortcut. This is the longest distance

from top to bottom that you guys have portal to take a shortcut. This is the longest distance from top to bottom that you guys have traveled with these portals. And so Thuy and Bodhi, you just sort of climbed out of this cavern and you're in the weird, creepy-ass woods. Blaine, why don't you tell us exactly what kind of surface you just opened this portal at? Like, is it one of the big vertical rocks?

Is it, how does it look? How are you going to do it? I think he asked Brian to do it for him because he was feeling weak and dizzy. Where do you think you would aim it? The sensible place. That's so good.

I remember that store in the mall, the sensible place for pants. The way they're created, it is very much like the portal video game. So I want to create as much geography for the listener as possible. Yeah, when this zoops up... Well, I also don't want to fuck with it. We're going to have spring heels.

It's probably not going to be that important, so don't overthink it. We've already done it. It'll be important later. At the lip of the cavern. We're all dead. So you guys sort of... Okay, so that's so later. At the lip of the cavern. We're all dead. So you guys sort of, okay, so that's so I can paint the picture from the other side.

You guys at the bottom of this waterfall see the portal that was formerly sort of blank and just this magical circle turn into a vision of the woods. Oh, look, it's the woods. Because they cast it against the cavern opening. So you looking out see deeper and deeper woods. Come along with me. Let us portal through.

You've got Typhon Gago with you and the corpse of a drow assassin. Are you going to just kind of ditch that down here? Leave the corpse. All right. Search him. Search him. You've searched it.

We did twice. I think you got such high rolls. You could perhaps... You could search the hell out of this corpse. Because I gave you two shots and you both did great. I would say you both feel like... Thank you two shots and you both did great I would say you both feel like thank you

you did just great job that you feel like there would be at best very minor scraps of looting you could do

at this point I got a cool dagger shooter thing how many times can we loot the same body this seems outrageous she didn't give her

a colonoscopy yet I let you loot a loot it twice because for two reasons no no no I don't I just meant I thought we were doing a third I thought someone was yet. I let you loot it twice for two reasons. No, no, no. I thought we were doing a third. I'll let you see inside the mind of the crazy person if you want to know why I let you loot it twice.

Dan, Dan. I thought someone was suggesting it a third time, and I was saying this is outrageous now. Tattoo it. Let's all search each other, guys. Kind of part of this. So you step through. I'll take my shirt off.

Yes. I run through In slow motion Alright, so you guys see in slow motion Esmeralda just take a flying Pounce and she's just kind of With my arms open And I go normal speed looking at her weird the whole time

First Esmeralda starts There's a five second pause as she continues The slow motion run through And then in just one second Tom just steps through first Esmeralda starts there's a five second pause as she continues to slow motion run through and then in just one second Tom just steps through and then Esmeralda is still going

in slow motion because of how long is Typho coming everyone makes out yeah Gago and Typho both are like yep let's go

and they follow Tom out quicker so you're still going slow motion Esmeralda did you hear the story that Stark used to go to clubs and yeah oh the vampire rave stuff let's go. And they follow Tom out quicker. So you're still going slow motion. Uh, that's more of a, um, the story of the shark used to go to clubs and yeah. Oh,

the vampire rave stuff. That's probably, that's who I was envisioning. Yeah. It's so great. Before you, before you couldn't wear a trench coat in public. Right.

Yeah. Free that thing. So as you, uh, all are now in the woods, I'm going to ask you all to take a deep breath and do a perception check to see what happens if you're in that weird surroundings.

What the hell? What does this mean? And then, once you're done being gross, roll that fucking dice, Ken. 19. Perception? I'm going wet tonight. 482.

For this show. 4. 21. We're going to keep it heavy this show. God damn. That thing's loud. 16. All right.

So Esmeralda, you just decide to twiddle your thumbs and you get real bored looking at the forest. And I'm going to ask Esmeralda, do a constitution saving throw because something fun could happen. Fun for me or fun for you? Fun for you. Oh. 16. With your bonus, it's a 16? Yes.

Your ears pop. You can hear a little better. Oh, good. Oh, that's great. Because of all the vertical distance you just covered. That's actually a great thing to happen. Yours lightly pop and you wish you were chewing gum, Tom, but it doesn't because your ears weren't ringing.

Juicy fruit? You guys are all glowing a little softer because of a couple hours passing, but you are all still glowing. You all still feel like you're not that hard to miss out here. And the other three of you who aren't twiddling your thumbs look around and you're noticing, oh yeah, the woods are full of life. And the other three of you who aren't twiddling your thumbs look around, and you're noticing, oh, yeah, the woods are full of life.

And the hut that you last left empty, because you remembered Nettie wandering off into the woods, the hut now appears to be lit up from the inside. There's a soft glow and some curtains drawn. Let's pay a visit. You're going to pay a visit to the hut? Yeah. Do we want to stop and recoup or anything?

Maybe this person can heal us. I think we should get out of the Feywild and then recoup. Because it should only take two seconds, right? This is an important decision. Are you going to approach the hut or are you going to just bail on this dimension? Can I peek in the window? I do think we need to get Nettie. Do you?

Or decide what you're doing with her, yeah. I don't know if Nettie's... You did just have a fight. ...very Nettie anymore. What do I see if I look in the window? I sneak. Do a perception. Yeah, okay.

Do a stealth and then a perception. If it goes well. 15 plus plus. Yeah, I'm looking up your plus if you don't have it. It's always helpful if you can just tell me your bonus so I don't have to go for my test. I have all kinds of... Plus four. You're plus four.

So what is it? Nineteen. Yeah, you make it to the window without arousing suspicion. Now do your perception. Twenty-one. Yeah, there's something moving inside But the curtains are drawn So you can't tell what it is

I'm peeking in Using my sleight of hand skill Well there's a sealed glass window I'm thinking Flintstones You got a hole in the curtain No there's a sealed glass Nevermind then When in doubt think Flintstones Yeah there's a sealed glass. Never mind, then. No, no, no. When in doubt, think Flintstones.

Yeah, there's something moving in there. I'll let it be. Oh, God. Oh, we have a visitor. I'm just saying goodnight. Whoa. Hey, buddy. You're dead.

I also got Taxi Mod and Mario Mod. Oh, okay, cool. On Minecraft. We're back into Minecraft, Oh, okay, cool. On Minecraft. We're back into Minecraft, yeah. Yeah, mods. All right. I love you. He's a modder now.

He's going through his mod phase. You should check out Quadrophenia. Nothing. I love you all. Come see you in a minute. Google Quadrophenia in 10 years, right? Get a scooter mod and put some mirrors on the side. No, we're being old. Sorry. I love you. Come on. Get a scooter mod and put some mirrors on the side.

No, we're being old. Sorry. I love you. Kids like mods, okay? Kids like mods, okay. I love mods. I've been modding since there's a quake. So now that you're pressed up against a warm glowing window

with the curtains drawn, your final call is going to be what? I'm saying goodbye. You just sort of whisper it to yourself? To the wall? Yeah. I mean, did Dan go to all this trouble to bring back your long-lost love

and you're just like not interested? What's wrong with her? I don't like it. The last time someone suspected Dan was trying to do... Just give me the word and I'll let her out.

I've had that happen to me before. He just lost the lens from his glasses. His glasses lens just popped out. That happens a lot because we both have half horn rooms and so the wire at the bottom doesn't really hold the lens very well. But does it happen when nothing, just randomly? I've had glasses pop out like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You can pop them back in usually. In my head I was thinking, oh my. That's what it looked like. If this bottom wire is disconnected, then you do need to have it professionally reattached. You know what you've got to do is you've got to get assimilated by the board. Make sure you don't get a tiny little screw on Brian's floor or something. Let's definitely keep describing this.

Oh, great, great. Okay, so it sounds like Sarah's trying to appeal. Do you want to, what do you, you're just. I was just trying to, I feel like help Dan. Well, do it in character, I would say. Don't help me because there's all sorts of layers to what's going on. I am curious about the Moribori thing. I knock on the Dan. Well, do it in character, I would say. Don't help me, because there's all sorts of layers to what's going on. I am curious about the Moribori thing. I knock on the door.

Oh, my God. Before we go. Oh, my God. I can't believe you just did that. My girlfriend is in there. Oh, my God. You hear a voice say, what? You hear a voice say, what?

I guess I'm just going to say, look, I'm very sorry that you and Tom have this confusion. I think he feels very uncertain about his future and your future. And I think maybe he just needed to take it a little slower. And I hope that someday he will be able to forgive himself and that you'll be able to forgive him. Also, do you, did we already ask her? You hear her go. Okay. So.

That was my. Later in yoga class. That was my lead in to, did we ask her? We did ask her already about Moribori. No, you didn't. Oh, I didn't? I thought we said, are you Moribori or something like that. I don't remember anyway. Um, and then, okay, then I guess I'm going to say, um, we're going to return from whence we came now. Uh, and, uh, I want, I was wondering if I might be able to look

around. There might be something helpful to you, uh, in your home that you hadn't been able to find before because we did. Oh, that's a persuasion check for sure. Okay. that you hadn't been able to find before because we did oh that's a persuasion check for sure okay this persuasion check brought to you by the mighty mighty boston's chewables hey hey hey hey a c and d you don't hear anything all right um silence on the other side i'm kind of like like mouthing to to like do you not want to to offer to at least get her back to the land of the living? Like she's eating weird bugs in the Feywild. I don't even know if it's her. Okay.

All right. Well, I feel uncomfortable with this, but I guess I'm not going to interfere anymore in these people's. So as you guys reconvene, if you want to get back to the material plane, you can tell me how you want to do it, or you can ask me for help remembering how to do it. It's up to you.

It's something about rocks. It's been so long. Rocks. Yeah, we're going to have to ask the DM. What did we do? We would remember because it would have only been. I really feel like Sarah's right right that we haven't gotten a full closure with her yeah uh that's that's possible that's possible uh i i again there's

layers to this and uh interesting things can happen either way so don't feel like you're shortchanging me the only time you have ever shortchanged me was when I introduced a delightful bard character and you just displayed just enough disinterest where I felt narratively I should steer away from it. And then when I joked about it on Twitter, you made me sing as the bard character, which was fine. It worked out great. It was extremely embarrassing. Oh, yeah. But at the same time, it was fun because I actually did what I planned to do two episodes earlier. Oh, weirdo.

And that's the only time that's ever been me going like, oh, because I wrote did what I planned to do two episodes earlier and that's the only time that's ever been like me going like oh because I wrote a whole song but if you skip something don't worry I've planned for you're not short changing this dumbass like everything's so

you'll oh again layers so hey thanks for letting it go. Here's all I will tell you about how to get back. You know you needed... Twee has dabbled in warlock magic and knows a little bit about how to combine spells. I will make you roll...

I had a crazy uncle. I'll make you roll to remember more specifics, but you remember Tui was basically in charge of all the casting, and when you said something about rocks, there was indeed something about rocks. But again, you're going to have to roll to remember more, because it was a while ago now.

And you've rested a couple of times. Kate was trapped in the rocks. No, no, we had rocks that the guy whose girlfriend was... So we're rolling to remember. You're going to want to do a remember check.

Well, unfortunately, I don't remember. I got an 18. Hey, I got a 20, so double damage on remembering stuff. Great. I remember stuff very sadly. You don't need anybody else's rolls, really, Tweed. Here's what you remember.

You both used the Dimension Door spell and your Mage Hand, which can pierce the Feywild in the Material Plane, and you're not exactly sure how you would do it to go the other way. It would maybe be a little bit different because now you're going to the Material Plane as opposed to to the Feywild. So it to go the other way. It would maybe be a little bit different because now you're going to the material plane as opposed to to the Feywild.

So it's almost like a reverse. The way you use the Feywild with your Mage Hand is you are taking a shortcut. And this is when you're in the material plane. You're piercing sort of through it to go farther. It's almost like taking a shortcut through the sewers

or some shit. And now that you shortcut through the sewers or some shit. And now that you're in the sewers, you know you'd have to do the reverse of it somehow with your Mage Hand, and you're not sure what it's going to be like if you try to pierce it back into the material plane. But you do remember you combined a Dimension Door spell with this to try to crack open something large enough for everyone to fit through. The other thing you remember with that 20 roll is there are these pink crystals that your Quaggoth friend gave you.

There were two, and they were with the map that Moribori gave him. And you left one outside the cave in the material plane. And there's another should be in your pocket. Oh wait, I thought you wrapped it in your wrist, didn't you? Suddenly I had a memory of that. Oh,

did you want him to lose it in the lake? Okay, so I couldn't be misremembering. No, I know it. I kept track. Okay. Why don't Tom and Twee have a roll-off? Does this sound familiar to you at all, that you wrapped it in something in your wrist? I kept track.

Seven. Tom, you remember you have it. Oh, God. Oh, my God. That's such a misdirect. Oh, my God. Oh, God. It's such a misdirect. Oh, my God. It's right here. It's on the dash.

Wrapped in my wrist. And as soon as he pulls it out of his pocket, Tui, you're relieved because you realize there's all sorts of shit missing from your pockets. You realize you should probably be holding it. You put together a while ago, again, I'm tacking this on to your 20-year-old. This is like an anchor back to the material plane.

These two crystals helped Moribori and her Quaggoth friend kind of commune with each other. And so you... I'm looking up his name because I forgot it. Heglish. So Heglish and Moribori were able to go meet each other basically because they both had these matching crystals. I haven't heard those names in a while. Yeah, Heglish.

Oh, and you're going back to meet some people maybe. So there could be all sorts of characters coming back in just a second. So you're going to have to... Rod Carew? Maybe that drow was Moribori. Ooh, that'd be great. those portals are still open you can see her corpse over your shoulder right now

I should go slow motion tweet there's three kinds of roles you're gonna get to make okay there is the prep role the cast role and the time span roll. You know that there is a chance that because the Feywild is, what do you call it,

timbly-wimbly-wobbly-wobbly, like Doctor Who, you know you could potentially not be able to go back to the exact time you left the material plane. Okay. So you're going to have to roll for that. However, you get a bonus because you guys held on to and kept track and remembered the rocks. Rocks. So, first roll is the technique roll.

Roll an Arcana check, please. 18. Plus you get a bonus of, and this is important, 6. So you rolled a 24. 24. Six. So you rolled a 24. 24. You think if you cast Dimension Door and Mage Hand at the same time,

which is going to be a higher difficulty than if you did it separately, then you will be able to open a portal back to Material Plane. And that is going to be a wisdom check. So roll that, please. 11 plus 2 is 13 success however it is a little smaller than you'd like you see opening up a portal and before

I tell you what's on the other side you're going to do your time check so what that's going to be is a 100 roll and you get a bonus and I have a secret spreadsheet that tells me how much time is going to have passed depending on what you want you want the lowest number possible

the lower the number the closer to the same amount of time passing it will be the higher the number you run the risk of going really far ahead or really far back in time if you remember about eight days had passed

since the beginning of your adventure. Okay. And now. And you had 30 days before the moon crashed into the earth. Okay. So what you're saying is higher is better. Here we go. 46.

46. Great. With your buffer. Middling. Middling. 46 great with your buffer middling that means that amount of time has passed alright so you get a feeling that you did good that's good

okay and as the portal opens you see it is very dark and rainy on the other side but it is good material plane and you're all going to have to crouch and kind of crawl through it because it's a whole small. Okay, crouch and crawl.

Everyone crouches and crawls. Gago flies through immediately. Y'all get through just fine. That's it. You're back in the material plane. It's dark and rainy. Everybody do a perception check, please. Nine. Twenty-one. everybody do a perception check please 9 21 13

14 13 Tom you look up and you see bright crimson lightning across the sky holy crap look at that shit there's howling winds you guys are in the forest hey listen to that shit and it's like it's not raining that much

but the winds are high and it's very dark and there's bright crimson lightning in the sky. That's not normal, right? You see Heglish's hut. No, I'll say none of you have seen crimson lightning before. And when Tom tells you about it, you're all kind of like, hmm. Heglish, is he there? I think the moon's getting closer to crashing into the planet, guys.

His hut is lit up. His hut is lit up. Okay, so does the moon's getting closer to crashing into the planet, guys. His hut is lit up. Okay, so does the moon look closer? It's too cloudy to see the moon. Okay, so we run to Haglish's, or I'd go to Haglish's hut. Haglish's hut. The door's closed. Knock, knock. Hello?

Haglish? Oh, it's you! Oh my goodness! How long has it been since we've been gone? He swings the door open and forgot what he sounded like. How long has it been since we've been gone? He swings the door open and forgot what he sounded like. How long has it been since we've been gone? Oh, it's been at least a week. It's been at least a week.

Uh-oh, guys. We lost a week. Oh, that's not too bad. Well, except for the moon. It's been about seven days, yeah. We still got really 15 or so. Thank you for visiting me again, though. What have you been up to? Where did you go?

We tried to find Moribori. Did you see Moribori? We asked around, but we couldn't find any. Well, her hut's right there. We saw her hut, but we didn't see her. Who did you see? Some

piece of a big monster. Some gatekeepers. I don't know what happened to Moribori, but that doesn't sound fun at all. What did Moribori look like again? Oh, she's a creature of the Feywild. I mean, she almost looks like she's a fairy herself, but she's as tall as I am. Oh, okay. No, we definitely didn't see her.

So it wasn't... Nettie? Nettie. Oh, that's more where I shapeshifted in some way. Okay, are they just saying it's all in front of Hagrid? Yeah, he's like, wait, what are you talking about? Because I haven't happened. No, that was Brian saying it.

She is, I believe, what they call a dryad, so she does change her shape fairly often. So this is what I was worried about. She can see inside your mind, and she will sometimes try to play tricks on you to lure you in. That would have been really helpful information. I think our air conditioner just shit the bed.

Well, she's my girlfriend. I didn't want you to judge my girlfriend just because she's a dryad. Hot. Yeah, I had a feeling. That was not Matt and Eddie. It suddenly occurs to you, Tom, that you have not actually met

Matt and Eddie again and she is still somewhere out there. That's what I thought. Huh. Also that if you had followed her, you might have been removed from the campaign as a playable character.

Exactly. That's what I thought. She was literally about to enslave you. See? Oh, so it was Moribori. It was almost definitely Moribori disguised as a projection. I really thought my first question to her was, are you Moribori? And here's the thing.

It wouldn't matter. She would not tell you. It's not like Rumpelstiltskin where she'd be like, oh, you got me. That's your whistleplug. Don't word out. That's a putz. So yeah, you piece that together and Haggadosh is like, do you want to come in?

I've got some fish. Oh, fish. I think we really, maybe we could stay the night here, have some fish and stay here for the night. He says, oh, hooray, hooray, hooray. And he invites you guys to come in from the rain. And we trust him, right? I forget.

He's an evil guy, but in the past. You know that, yeah, he's elderly. But he has been seen drow a bunch. He looks like he's old enough to die in his sleep without it being a big deal. He also might touch us in our sleep. From what you know of his race of quaggots, they're like evil cave hyenas

who are very cannibalistic and terrifying most of the time. And you've been reassured by the mage college that this guy is like an exception and kind of harmless. We can take shifts, but we should get a long rest if we can because we haven't done that at all. He pulls out some really dusty blankets and says, you can kind of make these into padding and get comfortable,

but you'll have to kind of crowd close to each other. It's kind of a studio hut. Okay. But he makes you guys a meal, and you feel like you can indeed get a long rest. What's the rent like here for a studio? Oh, well, nobody really likes to be in these woods, so it's pretty cheap. How long has the Crimson Lightning been happening been happening oh that happened a couple of days ago stuff's been getting real rough since the mage college collapsed all the

students went to another nearby college but nothing nothing bad happened at gospel where are they at now oh they all fled to another they fled out to potential okay potentials where all the instructors are now they magically Oh, they all fled to another... They fled out to Tenshal. Okay. Tenshal's where all the instructors are now. They magically... How far away is that? ...sealed the college, so... Oh, it's only a day's travel, I'm sure.

All right. It's on our list. Yeah, you got to head pretty far northwest inland away from the ocean, but... Tenshal was six on the list. Mm-hmm. Two, three, four for the last one. Yeah, all right.

So let's do this heel and relax. You know what still freaks me out? I know. We saw that a month ago. Charlie. Really was one of the greatest things I've seen in a while. It was so upsetting. Hey, so, yeah.

You're going to do a proper long rest? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, we'll take shifts. I have four hit points, so. All right. Yeah, he's terrible. You guys, with various spells and stuff, I'm just going to give you a very broad healing.

Everybody heals everything except Bodhi. You've got some scar tissue on the stomach damage that you took. And after suffering through a couple rounds of poison, you're able to work out with Tweed. It's like the last time I went to IHOP. Oh, they just revealed that was a scam. Did you see that? We got played like Kim Jong-un.

We got played. I knew that was going to happen. IHOP admitted that they're IHOP again. Oh, right. They never changed it. Well, I knew. They changed to happen IHOP admitted that they're IHOP again Oh right They never changed They changed the signs Not everywhere They said they were going to do it for like one day

They just wanted you to think of burgers I mean I thought I was never going to Drink that delicious blueberry syrup People were really freaked out I love IHOP I'll go on record as saying I love IHOP I used to. Also,

eggs with cheese. You're still down five hit points. You need to see a slightly better healer than Tui to undo some of the damage to your guts, but beyond that, you're just kind of like... You need to go see Dr. Larry Nassar. You need to see a priest or a cleric.

You need to go see a healer. Just like they better heal us. But other than that, everybody's up to their full... After a day. Dr. Vinny Boombots. You realize after taking a long rest,

about 18 hours go by. Take a look at their fucking Wagnalls porch. And the weather and the sunlight doesn't really change outside. It stays really dark and really stormy outside. Doesn't rain more. Things stay very stormy. It's a dark and stormy night. But it takes about 18 hours for you guys to fully heal up

with all your abilities. All right. And he actually is willing to stock you guys up on some salted rations so you guys all get two days worth of salted rations each these um rations are very basic but they will they will allow you to say uh explore for a little while and stay fed a little longer than uh than previously and i think you should make a note because the environment has changed and you're all kind of aware that I already had one, so now I'm writing that

I have three days of rations. And so he points you northwest and he says, well, thank you for the company. Is there anything else you want to know before you head out? You were a very good conversation. That's it. Thank you very much for your help. We really appreciate it.

He nods. You're pretty cool for a cave hyena. He does ask if he can have his pink crystals back. Yeah. Oh, that's... He said he loaned them to you. And you know where they both are.

No, just to go back there. They were from his girlfriend. He was really nice to let us borrow them. I don't have a problem with giving him the crystals back. That's fine. Great. He thanks you and by doing that you guys all get a little experience. I took a secret shit in his house. We rethink him.

So some shrimp into his curtains. Yeah, I hid a shit somewhere. Nice. I did a satellite. Played Ten Friends. Ten Friends is the worst. No one ever did that for real. What is that? The worst frat ever did that.

Ten Friends is where you and nine other people shit in somebody's toilet. But first you take all the water out, right? No, you take the lid off the tank and you shit into the tank. Oh, it's an upper deck. So it's a 10 person upper deck. I always thought, no, I thought

it was a different thing. That's a triple word score. But I always thought a 10 man was you drain the, yeah, you shut off the water and you also drain it out of the actual toilet and then ten people shit in it nice now when you say you always thought a ten man that also seems to imply to me you've never had as many as ten friends well no i've never and it's because you love shitting in things

we got eight people tops here i've always done the solo shitting i've never you've never tanned and you have to be 20 years old and have a real problem a lot of comics of weird shit things they won't even let you shit at their house and yeah you can't shit at my house. I'm not weird. That's normal. You can't shit at my house. I'm going to come over there tonight and do it. You may not. What if I got really mad?

It did freak me out, the idea of you doing that. Whenever I get a colostomy, I take my own bag. It's recyclable. Otherwise, they charge you 10 cents. I really like those vinyl colostomy bags they sell at Trader Joe's. They're really good. I got a nice Sumi colostomy bag. It's really nice.

Melanie got it for Father's Day. It's like $300 leather strap. Doesn't say world's greatest shit on it. So you guys kind of have a moment where you're out in the rain. You're looking to the northwest, and Haglis shuts the door. I love what diversion that was. And Typha sighs deeply and says, Hey, so, uh...

So I got some new flexible catheter... She kind of looks over there and she goes, Ah. Realizing we're like like five ten minutes away from the remains of the college of gospel what do you think the odds are they left us our horses remember we took horses here right from where i lived out in tin at yeah do we need the horses to where we're going to get to this next place probably yeah. Yeah, she's like, from what I remember, I think when he said a day, he was kind of expecting us to be able to take... Day on horse.

Okay, well, I guess, yeah, let's go check. All right. So you guys walk over there, and nothing really weird happens. Do your... But our horses have remarried. A couple of DM continuity things. things Blaine you're shutting you shut the portal right away that was you try to call for a while. For a while. Well, my name is Dan. That was an amazing Rossell.

Wait, honestly, which part of the horse is that supposed to be? From their mouth or is that their hooves? I was trying to do that. Oh, you were trying to do that. Okay. And I tried to rap over it, but you just wouldn't keep doing it. Nobody beats the Ken. If you want to hear a great rap,

you can listen to the Monster Party podcast. I'm not sure what episode. I think it's Bugs is the episode. And one of the guys on it sings. I like Big Bugs. The tune of Sir Mix-a-Lot. And it's the craziest, worst, funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. Craziest, worst, funniest.

Oh, my God. So, you guys get to this big clearing. And you see what looks like what used to be a giant mage tower and everything is really dark and the wind is howling uh except uh the it's just so quiet like there's there's the what you knew were like there's nobody beatboxing uh what used to be the dorms are like built into the side of a hill. You see no signs of life. You see no signs of people. What about the stable?

There is no stable. There is a post that the horses used to be tied up to. And that post is not even there anymore. It was right next to the tower. And the tower is so fucked up and destroyed that there's no sign of the horses or the post. The only thing lit up is there is like next to the big theater pit. There was like a visitor's quarters or like a cabin that you guys slept in for a while and took a break in. And you see some lights inside there.

All right. We'll look at that. Open door. Let's have a gander. You knock or what? Okay. Go look at that. Oagentor. Let's have a gander. You knock or what? Okay. So you knock and the door opens and you see just a little elf,

a little five-foot-tall elf. It doesn't look young, just short. He looks like he's clearly a student of the mage college. He's kind of youngish, but, you know, not like a child. And he says, oh, you guys yeah hey yeah uh we're looking for our horses oh i'm sorry we needed all those oh shit where's the closest place we can get horses well there's uh well is there a horses 11 around he said well you could go back to where you you came from you could go back to tinad on foot but that's going to take you a couple days uh unacceptable you could you could go on foot up to uh to

potential but that'll take you about a week on foot oh man and uh i stab his neck off should i let him up oh my god should i let him up he says um thanks guys please don't stab me. I'm just keeping watch over some magical artifacts in here. He's like racking his brain and he's like, I mean, there's like a hobgoblin encampment north of here and they're

evil but kind of friendly. They're not... Do they have horses though? Yeah, he's like, they've got horses they've got a bunch of horses there's like 300 of them um can i ask you a quick question do you are you able to identify items he nods oh great um hey brian you've been wanting he says i'm actually really bored and i'm really scared because some horrible things are happening in the sky and my instructors told me that uh i need to be keeping very careful happening in the sky. And my instructors told me that,

uh, uh, I need to be keeping very careful track of the sky. Great. Well, you are in luck because we are here to save the day, but it would be super helpful if we could find out if any of what we have, even if it's a minor help that some of this stuff might help us on our

journey and by extension, help you. Uh, great. I mean, you haven't really, um, uh,

you know, uh, learned anything about me but you know I'll tell you my name is Desh and I can and you're here to say what and the only real thing I want to tell you about me is functional and this is the DM speaking

directly through me right now but I can only do about three times a day and I get real tired and I gotta rest okay so I have a bunch of stuff I know Bodhi's been waiting for a long time so I will let Bodhi ask for one first. Yeah, he looks at your bags and is just like, wow, you've got a lot of stuff strapped to your back. You look like you guys are real loaded up on shit.

Well, I'm not sure what the gray live robe does or the amulet. I'll show him the amulet. Okay, he runs his hands over the amulet, and I'm going to have to go into a very secret spreadsheet right now Blaine what is him going to a secret spreadsheet for the amulet brought to you by the secret spreadsheet for the amulet brought to you by me undies the official undies of Maine me undies oh this is uh this is an amulet of uh shape-shifting oh okay it works it works in a very very small way it doesn't really change your body shape it changes your face oh okay uh and you're gonna have to do a dice check to successfully change your face and it's got to be somebody

you've seen before it can't be a okay well a cool school it's good to know okay same body type thank you and size and skin color as yourself and the face can change whoa it got real racist there I have I'll do one do you have anything you'd like I have a bunch of stuff but I'm a little couldn't do you know what I had because I I have transferred it from sheet to sheet from that I would need another commercial while I go look up your full loop from what you took because I have I don't wanna stuff yes in a major well I was gonna check on the blue velvet robe unless I already had disposed of it or found something out about it all right okay sorry it's this brought to you by?

This is brought to you by the Los Angeles College of Hypnotherapy. When I snap my fingers, you will be a key punch data entry expert. Also brought to you by my

balls. Balls made by the people that brought you my pillow my balls um esmeralda i'm going to list off everything that you looted from the college of tin at okay because i gave some of it to i think some people took things so if you guys have this stuff all right there's a key anything that i have okay there's a dagger that you gave to Typha. Right. I had two daggers, two blue daggers, and I gave one to Typha. Uh-huh. And then you had another dagger. I don't know what happened to that.

I have it. You have five green potions with an unknown effect. Okay. I have a green potion still, too. You have those teleportation staffs. Yeah. You specifically took one, and I'll say the dash just sort of glances at it real quick and goes, oh, that's a Staff of the Crooked Star. Nice grab.

Oh. But you already know what it does. That's my favorite Duran Duran 12-inch. You already know what it does. Right. You've got the Blue Velvet Robe. You remember it has a green aura with the Scarab of Farseeing. You have a short sword with a large green jewel in the hilt.

Yes, I remember that. You have an amulet of water breathing, an amulet with an unknown effect. That's one that Brian has, I think. The Doomsday Astronomy chart and a small map that tells you how to get from Roke to Gostel and back. Okay.

What about that map you picked up recently? Is that that map? That's a different thing. That's very mysterious. Should I see what he thinks of my gray alive robe? Or does somebody else know what mine is? You've got two more shots of this guy. That must be the brown, because I have brown robe on here.

Can I ask him something? I've had a... Is that yours or mine? We kind of disperse them. Bodhi so your loot was two green potions the amulet and a living cloak oh yeah the living cloak what is the living cloak do you want to spend one other one of the IDs on that three to talk about this I'll let you guys really talk about this what do you

think I can't see what I have oh can real quick you got two green potions another one of those stabs of the crooked star, and an amulet that you actually lost. So that's it for you. We should find out what the green potion does. Are the green potions all the same? Can we tell? You can tell that they all look very

similar in substance, but there's irregularity to the bottles. It almost looks like they were mass produced. Is it occasional irregularity? Should we ask about the potions because we have a bunch of them? I put the cloak over myself and ask if I'm invisible because I think I'm going to go invisible and I put the cloak on and I go,

hey guys, am I invisible? He turns it over in his hand. You just want to give him a random one? No, no. I was doing it to you guys. I missed what he said. What did Bodhi just say? He he put his cloak on he put his cloak on and asked if he was invisible no okay but i did not to uh however if you put did you really put the cloak on yeah but i did for the guys roll 20 side of dice okay uh 13 plus no you don't know what plus

because this is a saving throw and I didn't tell you what kind I'm looking it up myself Jesus you're a bunny

I like your spirit though you get a blinding headache okay take that cape off what do you do take it off

all right you take it off you still have two so should we ask about the potions because we okay so we ask

I asked him he can tell you as soon as you hold one out that they're all the same okay uh you still have two so should we ask about the potions because we yes yeah okay so we ask about we but we i asked him he can tell you as soon as you hold one out that they're all the same okay he can see like that you've got a bunch of yeah he says um it looks like it's some some sort of potion where uh it's meant to be thrown and smashed whatever magic in here it looks like the substance inside it expands and becomes uh uh sticky So it looks like it's some sort of tar bomb. Oh, I see. Cool. Tar bomb.

Okay, so we have one more. An Irish tar bomb. Which do you guys want to know most about? I've had one of those in a long time. Desh says if you want to lay everything out, he can tell you what the most magical items are. So we lay it all out. Including his alive cloak. Is that Guinness and Jameson's? Is that what it is?

An Irish Carbo? I thought it was a fertilizer in a mailbox. No, no, the drink. In addition to your three inventories, which I've gone over in more detail, you also have a dagger and some potions and an amulet. And you've all got all

that stuff I listed laid out. Esmeralda, you really grabbed the most. You know what I have one thing I've always wondered about? I have a little globe, a little drow globe that's one of those I guess a little David Bowie sphere, kind of a little bubble

looking thing, and I'm not sure what it does. So you lay that out too. And so he says I think Bailey's also. Oh, it's Bailey's. There's a... Yeah, that might be right.

Three items that jump out at him is by far the most magical. The blue velvet robe, the short sword with the green jewel in it, and that living cloak. Okay. And he's like, that's all I can really tell you without spending an identify spell. And then he looks at the globe that you brought out and he says, I don't need to tell you. I don't need to cast a spell to tell you what that is.

That's meant to be the moon. Okay. Where did you get that? He's like, that's got some magic properties to it. I can sense. Where did you get that? But like that's got some magic properties to it i can sense where did you get that it's supposed to be the moon i got that from uh a drow a while ago not when i've been here you got that out of i believe the drow's hut in the last campaign yeah i've had it for a while yeah last year oh okay okay so he has two more to tell us right Oh, okay. If it is what I think it is.

Okay, so he has two more to tell us, right? One more. He spent one identify on Bodhi's amulet. He spent another identify on a potion. Oh, that's right. Okay. So the most, the things are that cloak, a blue velvet robe, and a green sword, a green jeweled sword.

So what do you guys want? I don't want to decide. I mean, I'm holding this stuff, but obviously it's to help the whole party. I think the robe. Which one? The living one or the blue velvet velvet and a simple looking one that seems to have some sort of life trapped inside it yeah oh the one i have is the one that gives off a living aura when you look at it through the scare before i say that's all you really know about it okay cool um the blue velvet robe oh and it gave me a headache. That's my choice.

Okay, are you good with that, Brian? Sure. Blue velvet robe. That is a robe of silence. What does that mean? You make no sound when you wear this robe. That's cool. Sneaky, sneaky.

Yes, Adam. Oh, you make a sneaky, sneaky. He also throws you a few bonuses and just says, I can just tell you as a student of magic, none of these items are cursed. They all seem to have beneficial effects. But he looks again at the living robe and is like, yeah, that's weird.

He's really tired now and he's like, no matter what. It's going to be like a venom thing. Yeah, throw it on somebody. He's like, thank you for showing this to me. I mean, next time I see my instructors, I'm going to ask if they've heard about this. But this is fascinating. Okay, let's definitely get that one next time we have.

He says, there's some bunks here you're welcome to crash at. But honestly, if you want to go to Tenshal and catch up with the instructors. We just crashed. Yeah, let's get horses from those. Hobby Goblins? Hobby Goblins. He's like, it's less than an hour north. All I'll tell you is you're going to have to give them something for those horses.

I mean, they're not really aggressive, but they're dicks. And so they're really hard to persuade to your side without just straight up bartering. I have a gem. Does anybody else have gems? I have gold and gems. Sure. I have a gold bar, too. I also have a light-em-up thing.

We could just go and kill all of them. He also says... I'm glad you're going to Tenshul. I'm worried about Tenshul. We're going. Are you going to any of the other colleges? Do you want us to text you when we get there? We want to squash it here.

In the last seven days, because we've been traveling, what else has happened? Have there been other colleges that have fallen? Yes. Yes. Which are the ones that are gone? He says pretty much everywhere except for Tenshul has fallen. Oh, okay. We got to haul ass.

Yeah. He says, okay, so you already know the College of Roquefell. You already know the College of Gosta where we are right now, Fell. we gotta haul ass yeah he says okay so you already know the college of Roke fell you already know the college of Gosta where we are right now fell Gantham

Derealth and Vesta have all fallen and in place of where their mage towers once were there are giant

horrible glowing yellow spires headed to the sky and there were horrible creatures that unlocked doors at their bases okay and is there anything else that unlocked doors at their bases.

Okay, and is there anything else that we've missed that the instructors discovered about the... Well, he says, you know, the instructors' numbers were severely dwindled, and there was a great amount of sadness as one of them had become undead, and they were trying to save him in a way. Did they? That would have been... The uncle. Right, I'm trying to find it.

Yes, Master Magnus, the uncle of Dessa. They said at that point the events were starting to become so disturbing that we were just trying to keep as many people alive as possible and we were hoping that as Tenshal was sort of a last outpost that everyone would go there. Last question, do you read or speak Drow? Yeah. Oh, can you look at this thing that I found?

The map. The map or the note? You have a map and a note. Oh, I have a map and a note. Okay, sorry. I'm going to make a note of that. I guess I hand him... Both of them you got off of your body, right? Okay. I hand him the note first, and I'm like,

please don't be disturbed by what you read here. I'm not sure what it says. He reads you this note. Desh says, Dear Santa Claus, I never thought I would be writing a letter like this. All right, here comes some heavy exposition, so I apologize. Try not to make me lose my place too much.

That's awesome. It says, Hello again, and though this hand may look familiar, I swear it is not thine own. It is I again. You must help Dessa reach me. That is all I know. All I know is Dessa is my only hope of rebirth. Oh dear. So she wrote, she sent her a message through her own handwriting?

Love Zinzerina. Yeah. Okay, and then... You get a real strong Love Zinzerina vibe from this note. Okay, so it seems like we need to... So what happened to... Can we ask him what happened to Dessa? Yeah, he says Master Magnus took Dessa to Tential.

To Tential, okay. And then here's the other thing. She's heavily shackled. Good. He looks at the map and he says, Hey, can I see that globe you have real quick? Sure. Here you go.

Whoops! I'm kidding. Here it is. He points to this really modeled part of your globe and he says, That's right, it's that. See those pockmarks in your little globe? There's one part where it's almost like there's a part of the globe

with stuff going on on it. This is a detailed map of that part of your globe. Oh, cool. So is there any way that I can figure out how to kind of wave my hand over it and expand this thing into some sort of holographic projection, which before I started hearing how many Bothans died to bring us this information. Arcana roll time, baby.

One. Sorry. I dropped my globe. There's nothing more satisfying You shit your pants forever. as a dungeon master than watching a dice roll onto the one. One more both of them.

You feel like there might be, and you remember that Desh just told you this thing is magical, but not this time. All right. What about me and my studies? I think you should do the same thing. Okay, Arcana?

Mm-hmm. studies. I think you should do the same thing. Okay, Arcana. 19 with my bonus. You can tell for sure that there's a spell that will unlock this globe thing. There's a spell that will unlock it. Alright, off to the hobgoblin horses. And yeah, Desh points you north a little bit. It doesn't take you long before you go through the woods

for like, you know, just less than an hour. The rain and the crimson lightning is a little disconcerting, but as you approach the camp, you get to sort of thicker trees and bushes and you hear a voice just on the other side of some dense trees say, stop. Yeah, what's going on?

What do you want? We would love to purchase some horses from you, my friend. How many? What do we need, five? Yeah, five. Great. Be, uh,

let's say 3, gold jeez it's a lot of gold how many gold is in a bar with how many is in a bar you don't know but you know it's a shitload of gold who has a bar of gold i do yeah i do too he does yes did it say how much they plundered a castle in the previous campaign uh blaine what is uh ken looking up a gold bar brought to you bro bye ken looking up stuff brought to you by crate and barrel attorneys in law have you been injured in a crating accident? Are you over a barrel? Let Crate and Barrel get you the biggest settlement.

Crate and Barrel, attorneys in law. The Lugger affiliated with Crate and Barrel, the store called Crate and Barrel. Crate and Barrel, attorneys in law. You, just do an intelligence check, both you nerds with your gold bars. Can I roll to not do that bit?

No, I rolled a two. I did it. What'd you get there, Brian? Oh, which two nerds were you talking about? I thought you were talking to them. No, I'm talking about you guys with gold bars. Do an intelligence check. 19.

Because you're trying to not play your hand. I got a 19. And what'd you get with your... Well, I got low, but I asked him. All right. So here's the thing. This hobgoblin is on the other side of some trees, and he's listening very carefully.

So you both kind of pat your pockets. You don't realize anything, Bodhi, and you're just sort of... This is occurring to you. It's like about what he's asking for, but half. Like, if you combine your gold bars, you think it covers it. Okay. But that's if for, but half. If you combine your gold bars, you think it covers it. Okay. But that's if you're being literal.

You don't know how smooth or nice this guy is. I want to just negotiate. Give us a minute, sir, to talk. Can I call my wife? You hold one up? Yeah, one. Just one?

He didn't fly there anymore. He says, one. No, one. Just one? Yeah, would you take five horses? That's all you have. That's all I have. He says, yes. Okay. So we do it for the one gold bar. Maybe he can't get his horses. He says, hold on.

And you see about a dozen big, huge goblin motherfuckers, just about your size, just hulking things come out. They're not drawn weapons, out they're not they're not well like drawn weapons but they're heavily armed all right they say um uh give me that bar just let me see the horses healthy horses and uh and they should all have uh saddles and packs on them uh do a persuasion check or an intimidation, whichever way you want to go with this. Intimidation.

All right. 14 plus... I mean, unless these are war horses, these are 10 times what a horse should cost. We didn't even attempt to... It's like buying them from a Chevron. So yeah, a couple of them look at each other and they go,

yeah, hold on. And after about 10 minutes, you see your horses all brought out. That'd be fucking the best horse I've ever seen. They look very healthy

and decent. Not real gold, Sarah. It's a game. We're playing a game. What? This whole thing is a game? I'm cheating

with real money, too. I was going to say, this is kind of budget. Look, we. I was going to say, this is a budget. Look, we got you real outnumbered, so give us the ingot now, and we won't kill you. Deal. These horses are all yours. You're dangling that thing out for like 10 minutes.

Okay, give me that shit. Give me that shit. I give it to them, and I take the horse. They immediately disappear with your ingot, and they laugh as they jog away. Who? Even in a game that doesn't bother you? Who? So you're down your gold bar.

Who? Now that you can all talk, I would say very easily you're able to sort of. I'm going to send my kids to college. Typha also sort of chimes in and is like, okay, so like each of those gold bars is worth, it's a gold ingot, and that's worth about 1,300 gold pieces. Great. However, a horse is usually

worth about $1,500 each. How many goblins, how many of these hobgoblins were there? There was like an army of them, 300 or something. Typhus was like, you know, you guys, considering it's the apocalypse, maybe that's the best we're going to do. We still got more.

Yeah, so these are really strong horses you guys got. They carry hobgoblins, and they are armored, and they're ready to roll. So if you want to hobgoblin. Should we kill them and take our gold back? I don't know. Hey, who's the hobg charge? Who's the goblin in charge?

They've all run back into the woods. Yeah, we got our horses now. You can go try to confront them again, but you're going to have to go through some real dense foliage

into what's probably like a series of caves beneath the woods. Fuck them. Let's go. Tenshul. Tenshul. Let's go to Tenshul.

And I'll march towards Tenshul as we... Ken, what does it sound like? The marching? Yeah, with our horses. That also sounds like some oysters hitting the roof. All right. Better.

Better. That'll do. That's it for episode 23. Thanks for listening. Follow us on a patreon fun stuff going there brianpassain.com I've got Nashville coming up we've got this is still before comic-con yeah oh this is before comic-con so please next Monday yeah come Thursday night we're at say the name of the Casbah Casbah why can't I remember that one I've played so many

fucking but come see me and Dan and Derek Sheen if you're down in San Diego Thursday night come to the

Mad Magazine panel at San Diego Comic Con and also I'll be there with Ellie Gertz and a bunch of other really funny Mad Magazine people

and Alfred E. Newman props nice I'm gonna be at BlaineCon and Carl's Bad Also, I'll be there with Ellie Gertz and a bunch of other really funny Mad Magazine people. And Alfred E. Newman. Prop. Nice. I'm going to be at BlaineCon and Carl's Bad on Comic-Con weekend, so come check out BlaineCon. I'm going to do that. There's plenty available. Thanks, guys. Bye.

Thanks for listening to another episode of Nerd Poker. You can follow us at patreon.com slash nerdpoker, and you get bonus episodes from there. And you can also send us anything at P.O. Box 16069, Encino, California, 91416. Thanks for listening. Oh! Spin the clock! I'm listening.