Nerd Poker - Episode 24 - The Final Mage College

Episode Date: July 25, 2018

Behold! Our heroes have arrived in Tenchyll, the only mage college that appears to still be standing. And after spending a valuable ingot on their horses, the crew isn't done running their little clinic on how to bribe people into doing what you want by offering them all the wealth you have. Hopefully their pockets are deep enough to get them to Tenchyll's mage quarter, where they suspect Dessa the angsty teen half-drow is up to no good.

Hey everybody, I'm Brian Poussaint Comedian, writer, actor, nerd. I've been playing D&D with my friends for a long time. I decided to do a new podcast where we play Dungeons & Dragons in my very own dining room. With my wife, kid, and my noisy dogs. So meet my friends, Sarah, Ken, Sam, Lee. Now it's time for another episode of Brian Poussaint's Nerd Poker Season 2. Hey, everybody. Hey.

Brian Poussaint. You're listening to Brian Poussaint's Nerd Poker Episode 24. Hi, friends. Hi. Sarah, Ken, Dan, Clay. Hello. Hey, guess what? I want to thank some patrons.

Thanks, Brandon Fox. Thanks, Brandon. Thanks, Connor Cicero. Thanks, Connor. I stuttered, but it's Cicero. It's all right. Thanks, Phillip Owens. Thanks, Phillip.

Thanks for that. And thank you, Ned Stark's Headless Revenge. Spoiler, Ned Stark's Headless Revenge. What happened? Nothing. I've only seen part of season one. You don't have to know. It's not important.

So what were you going to say about The Incredibles 2 before we started recording? I forgot. All right. It's really good. It was terrific. Yeah. One of the best. Yeah, it was very fun.

In a while. Oh, my goodness. And I liked the house. Anyway. You know what I saw? I saw Credibles. It was all right. It was relatively believable.

So you guys are on your way to Tenshal. Yeah. What you think is the last surviving Bard College. Paid way too much for a bunch of horses. You did. You paid a full gold ingot for five. Well, they're good horses. But I'm fucking them, so I'm getting my money's worth.

Oh, my God, Brian. It's your own time, please. I mean, it's better than a bar. And it's best you didn't tell the hobgoblins that you were actually going to form a relationship with this horse, because then they would have charged you more. Just being crass. Mr. Hands.

Hello, Mr. Hands. Something I meant to tell Sarah last episode. When you guys all had your items laid out, I told you what most of the auras were again. You, I think, would remember that your short sword with the jewel in it that you did not get identified has a green aura. Yeah, I have it written on there.

Okay, okay, okay. Thank you. That's very nice. Ken, do you remember what that means? Because you learned with the item or something? Yes, it's magical. Let me see. I gotta look it up. It means illusion. It means an illusion

or anything. Right? I don't know. Well, that's what I have written down. So that's strange. That's what I have as well. Oh, well then as far as you know, there's an illusion involved. I'll say this because I accidentally

showed you my cards a little bit there. There's way more to it than just illusion. Okay. It's like Henning's dagger. So yes, there's a storm brewing with crimson red lightning in the sky. The moon may crash in about

15-ish days or less. Go time. And you're headed to where there's some surviving wizards and someone named Dessa, a half-drow, that you believe was communing with a dead drow god named Zinzerina. So off you go. We've run into Dessa before.

You have, and you interrogated her, you slapped her around a little bit. She was a very angry young person. And now we've deaded her. Hmm? No, she's not dead? No, she's not dead. You left her with her uncle. Oh, I was thinking about the drug.

I got it. Not the assassin drug. I'm incredibly drunk right now. No, I was thinking about the drow. Got it. Not the assassin drow. I'm incredibly drunk right now. No, I just said when you were in the Feywild, Deep Underground, a drow assassin did. Oh, and you know what? This is... What? What happened? He had a bug. He had a bug. A gnat went in my mouth.

He swallowed a bug. I don't know why he swallowed a bug. Perhaps he'll die. I was going to tell you something. You made your face ruin. Too brando. My happy muscles don't work anymore. I swallowed a bug.

Don't take my picture. I ate a bug. Sarah, no. Hey, put a spider in his nose and see what he does. You'll know exactly what will happen so okay okay two threads I didn't really tie together for you narratively that you may have pieced together yourself already

but you just had translated a note that you found on the assassin and it's worth noting that this assassin knew Dessa Dessa was mentioned in this note that seemed to be from Zinzerina to the assassin right so there's a little little nugget i'll toss your way oh i think i referred to zinzerina as her

like we're gonna get her too or something and so maybe she thought i meant dessa so she was really upset when she died true it's a very distinct possibility that would esmeralda would totally put together um and yeah there's uh there's this sense that um you know her uncle wants to protect her and he tried to stop you from killing her and was like look there's there's no reason to kill her you guys definitely were tempted to just like chop her head off um So you're heading north to Tenshal, northwest. You guys do not have a map, but Typha says she can kind of help you guys out. There is a large path that she says should be the right path,

but it's muddy. It's not raining hard, but it's raining enough that the ground is wet everywhere and there's puddles everywhere. And it's going to take a full day's travel, so you guys are just sort of galloping along. Okay. You're just going to try to just go straight there without stopping?

You're pretty well rested. Yeah, we took an 18-hour rest. Great. So everybody do a perception check, and we'll see if anything really happens. A million. 20. I'm also going to do an encounter roll to see if anything happens to you

without you even wanting it to. 23. So with your powers combined and your low... No, oh God, that was really high actually. You got a 94 on your encounter roll so something else is going to happen. Yeah, but you got high perception rolls uh you guys uh see to the east as you start heading northwest you feel like you're passing something a couple miles to the east uh there's

a break in the clouds and you see what looks like a glowing yellow spire kind of piercing the clouds from in the distance coming up from the ground and going up into the sky. And it occurs to you you might be passing another one of the colleges. But it's far away. It's miles away. And as you're heading, it feels like you should be about halfway there, you see a huge dark shape pass over you.

It looks like a shadow in the clouds, and you hear sort of like a roaring wind as it happens. Oh. Is that the dragon? Probably. Cool. Well, we just... The beatboxing's back. This time it's mc sarah gazzardo stepping up to the plate to challenge ken daly

uh yeah so uh nothing it looks at first like there's whatever this giant shape is it's passing quickly overhead and not directly acknowledging you but as it happens ty Typha goes, ah, fuck. You just sort of hear her cursing under her breath as you guys go. It's not good. Whatever. If you remember, Typha has amazing perception. Yeah. So she is maybe reacting to her own knowledge. Typha, why are you, ah, fucking.

That was for sure the dragon. That's right. I could tell it was a black chromatic dragon. So I have a feeling it was our buddy Stormdor from back in Tenet Stormdor the kind of dragon you close when it rains

and she's like I don't know what he wants I don't know what he wants but last time we saw him it would have been a couple weeks ago this time he was, he was, you know, in my hometown.

I don't know what he's doing all the way up here to the North, but, uh, I don't, I don't, I, I don't feel good about my hometown right now. Uh,

yeah. Like either they, they didn't kill him. And that's the only real result that I was excited about. yeah, I mean, they're here to take over when the moon or something, who knows? she nods

and she's like i mean that's kind of the vibe i'm getting i feel like he's scavenging whatever is happening so so let's just uh you know man what can you do uh you can wait and see what the uh perception role of storm door the black chromatic dragon is nothing happens right away you can keep heading northwest. And you get to the edge of a town. And you see a lot of buildings. There's about 20 or 30 stone buildings. That must be the town!

You don't see anything that really resembles a unique mage tower. It just sort of looks like a town. It just sort of looks like a town. It just sort of looks like a town. There's a hamburger habit in Arubio's. You guys want to go to Arubio's? There's two heavily armored guards outside the town. You see there's archers on the wall outside of town. And you sort of instinctively slow down as you get within visual range of the guards.

Can you direct us, please, to the instructors from Gostel who had come here and fled here for safety? They all kind of look at each other, and one of the armed guards walks up to you and says, which ones? I mean, we've got a lot of refugees in here. Do you have a mage college here, yes? Yes. Can you direct us there yes first what is your business here and who are you

travelers he's like I should warn you there's a lot of soldiers here protecting a lot of people and we're not interested in trouble so you look like a violent sort we're actually here to uh stop the transformation he kind of looks at you and he's like am i gonna make you do a persuasion role what's happening i mean somebody else who wants to explain because they're all kind of like really nervous and you feel like you're not really convincing them that we're working we're working we've come to help we've been working with the mages in the towns to help stop the uh collapse of the colleges test test potential is the last remaining college and we're here to make sure that it stays remaining and

we're looking for dessa and what was the guy that had her uh he seems to be like yeah you're telling me what i already know as far as this being the last college why don't you go ahead do a quick persuasion check that might not be that hard but is sort of necessary given the security here somebody else 21 he said he kind of goes you you seem like you're probably a student at one of these colleges, yes? I can tell by your garb that you seem both like you know magics and you're a warrior. And your USC license plate frame.

He's like, will you help protect us? We need all the soldiers we can get. That is what we're here for. That's what we're here for. He says, okay, I will, the problem is if you're asking to speak with the people who fled here for safety, I am worried for their safety. I am not sure I should make them vulnerable right now.

What I can do is direct you to an inn where we're allowing travelers such as yourself to rest, and I can put a message out with your names and see if they're willing to meet with you. If you tell me who you're looking for specifically, but I will not escort you to anyone who is in hiding right now. You don't have to escort us to anyone who's in hiding, but can you take us to at least direct us to the mage, to the tentational mage college?

He says, that is where we are hiding our most vulnerable people. I will tell you that much. He said, but that's the thing. He says, that is where we are hiding our most vulnerable people. I won't tell you that much. Well, now you told me. He said, but that's the thing. We are now going to escort you to an inn where you will be kept safe. What should we ask for? Well, we could see Master Magnus, I guess. He nods.

He says, I know who that is. And I can put word out to Master Magnus that you're looking to speak with him. Okay, this is an urgent matter, so we need to... He says the message will get to him tonight. Alright. Whether or not he needs to rest, he is being examined by some of our, you know, our own wizards for his condition. If he can meet with you, he will,

I'm sure, but I cannot take you to him. Alright. So, he kind of just waves for you guys to come with. The gate opens. There's six more guards who surround you and explain they'll take you to an inn. It's just a couple of blocks into the city.

It's more than a town. It's a small city. And you can see that there's like... People who live there think it's a real hub. To them, it's home. You get a sense of real sorrow, and then it's crowded. There's a lot of people who look like they live there, and a lot of people who look like they're not from there.

And you see people kind of milling around. There's a lot of dark windows, so you get the impression that, though you guys are a little thrown off by your time travel, it's probably night their time. And there are still lots of awake people walking around in the street because of the population density potential right now.

So he escorts you to an inn. He takes you to a small room that has nine bunks in it. And he says right now these are empty, but you might be asked to share this room with some other people so feel free to fill five of these nine bunks but you might have some company soon

is this like a bringer game yeah he's like you know you don't have to pay to play but yeah free lodging come on in okay I get it it's like a hostel. And he says, I just feel like I should mention this for security reasons.

You know, there are, this is one guard who's sort of walked upstairs in the end to this room with you. He says, I should warn you, you know, like of the guards who escorted you here, none of them are staying, but there are guards staying in this inn and we are not telling you where they are. We are trying to just keep this town as stable as we can. If there's anything else you need, let me know. Otherwise, I'll bid you goodnight. It's very late.

Goodnight. Night. Alright. So you're in this room. Typha's just kind of pacing back and forth. She seems to just be trying to come up with some ideas you're not sure what's going on with her plus you can hear the ice machine god why do we always sit by the ice machine uh gago almost immediately just claims a bunk for himself and

just goes to sleep uh what are you guys going to do? I mean, wait to hear if we... I would say we wait a couple hours. How far is it from dawn, probably? Is there anyone we can talk to or do some research? Do we see books around? You feel like if you wait long enough, someone's going to tell you the results of your attempt to contact Master Bagness. That's right.

We just wait and see if we hear back, and if not, then we venture out. You also feel like you could probably explore some of the inn without arousing a lot of suspicion, but you'd have to be stealthy. Otherwise, eventually a guard's going to notice that you're doing it. Let's do that. Hey, I'm also going to take a closer look at this drow moon that I have. It's a little orb.

If you stay in the room for a couple hours, I'll let you do an arcana roll, but you've got to stay here and study it. Okay. And I'm going to let other people do their thing thing and you'll do it after them okay uh so uh i get the impression some of you want to explore the inn yeah yeah you seem ambivalent you seem interested ish i'd rather wait i mean i'll wait here wait here while you guys stay. You're going to wait with Tweed? Okay. What about you two? Yeah, we'll just go around.

You are the most stealthy. Are you going to stay together at this point? I will also remind you, you're no longer glowing phosphorescent. It's a long enough time has passed that you don't have a culture. Can I take a bath? I would like to find some armor. There is like a private bath quarters for this room. Can I use that blue cloak? Calgon, take me away.

Can I use the quiet cloak? Calgon, take me away. Can I use the quiet cloak? I guess so. Does it fit him? Not well, but it seems to work. You see him put it on, and he looks ridiculous, but he suddenly gets mad. I'm going to cruise around. I'm looking to see if there's anywhere I can obtain some armor.

If there's any extra laying around. You don't see to cruise around. I'm looking to see if there's anywhere I can obtain some armor. If there's any extra laying around. You don't see any laying around. This is a pretty bare-bones room. As I look around, though, as I go around. Okay. Well, okay. Let's start with just describing the room that you're currently in. You are in a room with nine bunks.

There are three thirds. There's three main walls. And on the far wall, the three bunks are kind of pushed to the side and there is, um, an opening with like a beaded curtain. And if you go through the beaded curtain, there is a very small room with a bathing tub and a bucket.

Um, that is all that is in this room. You don't see any items laying around. There's just, there's just like straw on beds. Uh, and if you are to exit this room through the wooden door, you have a hallway full of torches and full of rims. It is a big inn.

And there is someone making noises around the corner, walking around. So both you guys get out in the hallway, and that's what you see. What do you do? I head towards the noisy noiser. As you approach a corner, you just hear it sounds like there is a civilian outside his door mumbling something to himself. Drunk. Okay.

Disgusting. Go past him. Okay, are you sneaking? Or what are you trying to do here? Because I'll say that you're pretty visible And you don't think you can just walk by him without him noticing And it looks like there might be a stairwell at the end of this That you didn't come up

So it might be a different stairwell I'm sure we can sneak around him You can try, but I don't think it's going to work I'm not worried about him Okay, yeah, you just go by He doesn't even seem to care He does seem drunk as you get closer. He smells really bad.

You go down the stairs. So you go down the stairs. You guys are on the third floor. So you kind of go down one flight, and you're like, okay, there's more rooms that people are staying in. If I go down one more, I'll be on the ground floor. Okay. Go down the ground floor.

Have I figured out how to work the remote yet almost all right uh you get down the ground floor and you realize you're sort of like near a guard's quarters right by the stairwell there's there's a door and you can you can hear uh there's at least one guard walking around your clattering armor knock on the door. Hello. Who is it? What business do you have? We're here to help save the world. I heard about you being in the inn. Yes, you're the newest adventurer. I was just wondering if there is any way

that I could perhaps barter you for a suit of armor since mine was lost in a heroic acid battle. It's also called Grace Slick's Birthday. He opens the door and he says, we have some spare armor, but yes, I would prefer you barter than just me give you some guard's armor. That sounds all right.

I feel a little naked. Supplies are a little low. Yeah, you look naked. You're a bare-chested tiefling. Not a lot of tieflings around here. A little disconcerting. Skin's pretty cool, though. I mean, your skin is cool. He kind of relaxes a little bit. He's like, you seem cool.

Yeah, so what do you got for me? I can maybe give you some gems and stuff. Yeah, we got leather or plate. What do you want? Plate, if you got it. Yeah, can maybe give you some gems and stuff. Yeah, we got leather or plate. What do you want? Plate, if you got it. Yeah, I got plate. Let's do that.

He hands you some plate that will actually add one AC if you take it. But he says, he said he got gems. Yeah. How many are we talking? What kind are we talking? That's a good question. I'm not sure exactly what I have. Why don't you look at your inventory real quick? Secretly.

So he doesn't see what I have. Alright. So you open your pouch and you see... Blaine. Hey, Blaine. Oh, this check is brought to you by Animals. Need to get bit? Try an animal. Oh, you check is brought to you by animals. Need to get bit? Try an animal.

Surprise it. Shock it. Scare it. Sneak up on it. It'll bite you. Animals. Little makers of vegetables. You still looking, Ken?

Hey, Blaine, roll your Arcana check. 13 plus... 6 is a 19. Damn. Can I roll my Texarkana check? Not again. Only three is bound and down. Every fucking time.

Esmeralda's taking her bath. Typhus is still pacing around. You've been fucking with this globe for a while. You wave a hand over it. And you suddenly get a feeling like uh if you were on the moon you could interact with this globe and that's about all you can figure out but it's not a thing that i could use to get to the moon uh i'll tell you what. Roll one more time.

14 plus 6 is a 20? You think you could use this to get to the moon if you could attune with it somehow. But you would have to spend spend more time studying it all right um well maybe show it to somebody else in the bathroom for hours you feel like you're you're figuring it out really well but you need to talk to someone else about it at this point okay uh uh hey can you figure out how many gems you got no i can't find it he says if you give me show me your gems open your pouch and I'll tell you what you got.

Don't do that. He says, I am a guard. My name is Haikon. Show me your gems. And I'll be honest. He looks in your pouch. You have three gems. He says, give me one of those gems.

And you can have this plate mail. Does it matter which? The big one. What color are they? Two greens and a red. You guys are the worst negotiators I've ever heard. They make it so easy

for me. I was going to say, but you obviously, this is how you know that you gave them too much stuff where they're just like, I mean, I guess. These last few episodes are called Open Your Wallet and Show It to the Stranger. It's like, what color gem do you want? But these are far more valuable than the hardware.

How many are these? I will say, you get a vibe that this guy is way more honorable than the hobgoblin you just threw a gold bar at. The whole gem. This is plate mail. He's like, this is guard issue plate mail from the city of Tenshal. As is, people are going to ask you where you got it.

You've got to deal with that in a minute. That's true. He's like, I'll spread the word that I sold it to somebody with good intentions if you give me the big gem and he's like as an employee of the city you can trust I will put it to good use in these dire times

if this conversation continues much longer I will say you're creepy and this is off okay I'll give him the big gem great he says thank you very much here you go and you get to add plus one to the AC you had before your armor burned off. Yay. So it's a plus three from your former minus two.

But you're creeping around in the hallway, and you see there's guard pacing back and forth farther down the hallway. And there seem to be like a couple of residential quarters for the people who run in on this first floor. And that's about all the other vibe you get. What are you guys going to do? Head back up. Yeah.

All right. So Esmeralda, as you finish your bath, Typha knocks on the wall near the, the, the beads and ask if she can speak with you. Yes. Okay.

So yes, she goes in and she says, Hey, I've been, and asks if she can speak with you. Yes. Okay. So... Enter. Yes. She goes in and she says, hey, I've been... What's your message? What? Stop fucking teaching Siri more keywords.

No. So she says... And why do you hurt me? Siri, what gems do I have? Open your wallet and I'll tell you. Open your wallet and I'll tell you. What if his phone just said, Please, Dan, talk to me.

Ken, you have $300 in your PayPal account. What did I do, Dan? Why don't you talk to me? So you're getting dressed and she comes in when you're done and she says yeah so uh i think we might need to just go right to the mage college i think we can figure out where it is i have a feeling that they're going to just twiddle their thumbs and maybe we'll get a message from that dude eventually but i got this feeling that they don't get how bad everything is here and even though they're tense they think they can run it like a small town and they don't get that

we're dealing with like some apocalypse shit cool she's like what are you in my bath no you're not there but she's like appealing to you and she's like and she's like you know you're you're you're a magic student you know you gave me this dagger so I could fight. I want to fight. I don't care if we have to disarm a guard or maybe subdue a guard or something. I'm in. If you want me to distract a guard, if you want me to knock one out, if you want me to tie one up, I don't want to kill anybody.

Good. But we need to get. OK. I think that's great. Yes. It's been, what, a couple hours since we got here? Two hours have gone by, yeah. Yeah, so I think that's enough time to have waited.

So when the guys get back, let's go on an adventure to the Mage College. Great. If we haven't heard anything, yeah. So Bodhi, who has his human avatar, Brian, has gone to go do something. He gets back with you, and do you relay to these guys what you saw? Yes. Blaine, what do you tell these guys?

What are you thinking plan-wise now that you know some shit about the moon all of a sudden? If I could get a little bit of time with this little globe, I could figure out maybe a way to get us all to the moon, and maybe we can stop it from the moon side. Huh. Could we take one of those elevators

up to the moon? What elevators? In the stalks. They're like doors that got opened. There were doors. Yeah. You haven't talked about those in a while. Yeah, could we maybe ride one of those? What would you do on the moon if you got there? Maybe, uh... I would eat all the cheese. Maybe ride one of those. What would you do on the moon if you got there? Maybe a...

I would eat all the cheese. Who's that guy? That's the guy who loves cheese on the moon. Obviously. I'm not sure. I feel like... But it has something to do with your globe? Yeah, I feel like if we got to the moon,

maybe we could... Like, there's maybe something on the moon that's attracting it. There's some sort... Maybe there's a... Like a... I don't want to say a magnet. Like, there's two magnets drawing it.

Like, there's some sort of magical source that's drawing these two things together. Maybe if we get up there and blow it up, I could kill a kid and fix this whole thing. We're going to blow up the moon? Yeah. Get a moon rocking home. That sounds familiar.

So then our choices are... Easter egg. Do we want to go to try to blow up the moon from one of the stocks, or do we want to first try to go talk to Master Magnus, and then... Because we came all the way here. To get on one of the stalks we'd have to go to another town that has a stalk let's go talk to the guy and then when that doesn't work let's go find so uh taifa runs out of the room about five minutes later she comes back and she says uh i went out

the back door of the inn and i tried to to find just some way out of this block. I think if we go deeper into the city, I see more guards on the north end of the city, and I'm guessing that's where all the refugees are. If we can sneak up there, there's probably a really obvious gate where there's even a sign, and it just says where the Tenshal College is. They don't have a tower, but there's a mage college here somewhere and i'm guessing it's to the north and there'll be a sign so let's so we want to do that first and then try to go up the elevators

yeah all right is that okay with you gago's still asleep by the way yeah okay so assuming you wake him up yeah he he kind of spits at you um but then uh yeah you can uh a little dick are you just gonna try and head to head out of the end as is okay so a couple hours have gone by and uh you as you get to the front door you do see like the lights are kind of starting to uh like torches are being lit inside of homes and such so it's like daybreak on their timeline and uh you start heading north and you just see there's a lot more people on the street it's just getting real crowded and you get to like a t intersection and you see there are uh you know more shops to the right as you get to the sort of north end of the main thoroughfare. Other than that, you can't really tell the difference between the two directions.

Everything seems kind of just like, you know, five-story building tops. There's no big, you know, magical parapets or anything that would signal a direction to go. Can you look through your scarab and see if you see a concentration of glowingness? Yeah, because if enchanted things glow, then maybe the mage college would have a lot more sort of... I think it would be

magical stuff everywhere. At the mage college or in general? You could find out. You silly goose. You take it out, you're going to follow out. You silly goose. You're going to take it out. You can also detect magic. Okay, then do that. You cast detect magic.

There seems to be more magic to the right. In the stores. Yep. The stores aren't magic, but as you head in that direction, which I'm assuming you do, it gets real crowded, and you do see there's sort of like

an abrupt ending to the street after a couple of blocks and a big stone wall and a big gate with one guard kind of standing in front of it. There are no signs, but it does feel like... A guy that likes gold bars.

Well, you feel like there's a big chunk of city behind this gate that no one else can get to. Should I try to become that guard from the main gate using my actor feet and then see if I can get us inside? Sure. Using your actor feet,

you know who likes to do that? It's that Quentin Tarantino. That guy likes feet. He likes actors and feet. What about my face thing? Change your face? Yeah, do that because you're a guy. And I'm in guard armor.

Yeah, so just wave. You do that. And I'm very persuasive. Do that and then wave us all in. Wave us. Yeah. I use my face-changing amulet. Throw that on.

And there goes the guard. All of a sudden, you have to do a quick charisma check. What face are you going to be? The face of the guard. A thing we've established. We're all tired. Ah, shit. Would you roll?

Just a uno. You rolled a one. Would you have a penalty or not? What? Do you have a penalty or charisma? Do you have a bonus to your charisma? No. No, you're even.

So you put the amulet on, and you feel a magical humming in your ears for a second, but nothing happens. And you feel like it might be a while before you can pull that one off again. So I believe it's come down to your actor feet. Okay, let me double check the... Maybe I should gather these three together

and usher them through with my guard armor. Oh, yeah. And persuasion skills. Wait, say that again. I was reading some actor feet. Gather these three and usher them through with my guard armor and persuasion skills. If you think that I was reading some actor feed. Gather these three and usher them through with my guard armor and persuasion skills. If you think that'll work, get us all through.

Go for it. Roll a persuasion check and tell me what you try to say. 16. Okay. So what do you say to the guard? I have to get these folks through here. He's doing a perception check against you. Right away. They're needed in the city.

He looks you up and down and he says, what do you mean in the city? They're needed. You're in the city already. I mean... What are you even talking about? I don't care how late it is. The podcast listeners demand a little more specificity.

There's more city yeah yeah yeah more city the college they're here to help us defeat the evilness that has taken our

town he's like something about this seems off what rank are you even I see you're wearing some of our armor but

I'm a sergeant okay I do I do the actor feet like to the side. Because you can only do a voice. It's mimicry. Mimic the speech and the sound. Would I know what you're acting on by looking at my armor?

How big is this guy? Exactly. He's going to do a check. You roll a 20. And you roll a 20. Tell me what you get. Me? Well, I'm like, do you even know what I'm doing? Well, you're doing an actor thing, right?

Yeah, yeah, but I have to be offstage. I want to hear the numbers before you do it. 15. What's with the... You're doing a deception check. What it says is that I have to... It's specific in terms of what he needs to do too. Okay.

A successful wisdom insight check contested by your charisma deception check, right? So he has a wisdom insight check, not perception. I already rolled that. Okay. 15. So it's a deception check for me? Yeah. And you get, I believe, a plus two to your deception so tell me what you do so like off stage or whatever you step what to like kind of like the

an alley nearby like where i'm out of sight okay um i i call out like uh did he have a name tag on or anything uh no, he didn't. Really? You can nail his voice, but they don't wear name tags. No, no, the guard that we're talking to. No. Okay, so I just say that.

I think you've yet to see a guard in his realm that wears a name tag. I thought maybe his name on his bag. You know what? Okay, do a perception check real quick, real quick. Before this feels like we're spending too much time on Minutia. Seven. All right.

Yeah, you don't remember seeing any marks or ranking on his armor. Officer, I say. Officer. Let these men in at once. I need to run back to the main gate. I'll be back shortly. He runs towards you. You hear stomping coming towards

you the rest of you guys after she had made her way to alley you just see the guard running in her direction do i hear him stomping so i'm booking it to um you're trying to leave the alley and just assume he won't think it was you yeah i like circle i do like a quick stealth check real quick oh man i wish i had that cloak yeah no shit no shit. Oh, you know what? Wait. 20. Wait, what? Did you give her back the cloak when you... Yeah, of course. Oh, freebie. Okay, yeah, you can have it.

Do you think you put it on first? Well, the silence... Yeah, I mean, I think I throw it on and then I roll the 20. Plus the 20. Yeah, this guy has never been less suspicious of running into an alley. So, yeah, for one split second, you guys all lock eyes and realize the gate is completely unattended. What do you do?

Tell me exactly how you get in there. I cast Sleep on the Grid. The guy who just ran in the alley? Oh, he's gone? He's in the alley. Yeah, yeah, go. I don't know who he chases. Let's go.

All right, let's go. Let's run through the door then. Okay. And you, like, do you try to like open it quietly okay so then as I'm leaving as we're going in

I call as gently as we can and then close it I call from across the street I'm gonna call like uh thank you officer I'll be back to check later and then hopefully

we can just like stroll in okay uh really quick everybody do a stealth check and don't botch as long as you don't botch you're fine Typh is rolling

also Gago's even rolling don't botch you said don't botch as long as you don't botch you're fine typhus rolling also gago's even rolling you said don't botch right yep all right oh well so uh i got i got 13 can i give him a couple of mine all of you make it through the the gate and then at the last possible second bode uh steps in some gum yeah he just shuts the door on his boot and you just hear a loud metal clank and um as you shut it you just see the guard rounding the corner and kind of look at the gate shut. He doesn't lock eyes with any of you, but you see him notice the gate is shutting for a second. What's on this side of the gate? You see a 10-foot-tall demon- looking thing chewing on a guard. Remember those things back in

the town of Tenet that opened the mage tower? There is a big deformed creature just eating the neck out of a dead guard. And when you close the gate behind you, it kind of goes Where are we now? You believe

you are inside the mage college area the chapter of town Where are we now? You believe you are inside the mage college area, the chapter of town in Tenshal. Well, I'm going to fuck this thing up. Everybody roll for initiative. Eleven. As this thing says,

as this thing says, protect the gates. Protect the gates with its little human face. Protect the gates. The thing says with its little human face. Protect the gates. The thing says that? Yes. 19. 10.

10. Plain. You two have a roll-off real quick. Hey, uh... Want to be made of something? Try wood. 100% of trees agree. Wood's where it's at.

You want to get made? Get made of wood. Wood. Nine. Where'd you get? Ten. On your second roll? Because you both got ten at the same time.

I'm trying to make you roll off. I was the roll off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You both got the same roll. I'm trying to... Seventeen. Okay, so first it's going to be Tom. Esmeralda.

Bodhi. And then what did you get? Blaine, have you rolled at all? Eleven. So Blaine's ahead of me. Yeah. Damn it. So I'm going to say because you got your foot stuck in the door, Bodhi,

that position-wise you're at the back of the party for the moment. Makes sense. And this thing runs at Tom, and it's just loudly stomping. the moment. Makes sense. And this thing runs at Tom and it's just loudly stomping. It's got big sort of like muscle tissue, like blade looking claw things coming and it's just rushing

at you. You're up. Sleep. Sleep. It gets about an inch away from your face and thuds to the ground. That was a fun initiative roll, everybody. I'm glad we spent five minutes. Now we can beat the shit out of it.

Now what else do we see beyond here? So you look up and everything's real quiet. Real quiet. You see there's like a dozen stone buildings in eyesight. There's a main thoroughfare through this little college area straight ahead, just like as if the gate is leading towards a main street and then you can go left or right and there's like a few blocks encapsulated behind this stone wall what does typho uh what's her name typho typho i think uh she's like well i uh don't know if this is really

my area of expertise but i'll uh do a a little perception roll because I'm real good at that. But she rolled a four, so even on her bonus, she's kind of just like... Well, I was a student at the other college, so maybe I have a sense of where they'd be. I'm going to cut the head off of her sleeping thing. Yeah, I was going to do that, but I'm going to turn the AC on better. Yeah, why don't you go crank that AC, and I'll give you just a freebie. slay the shit out of this uh possessed person where'd you roll sir eight

okay well i'll say that you don't really have a high difficulty because you are a student when you're done cranking the ac can you crank some dc thanks that's really really thoughtful and you know who else appreciates that uh nikola tesla so uh and then crack my peepee how do you manage to do these amazing left turns in the gross so uh yeah you you figure out you think if you just head down the main thoroughfare you're gonna at least get to where the instructors would start to go straight ahead so kind of jog there and it's real quiet real quiet and as you go um you notice a lot of the doors seem like they're jammed shut like people are trying to protect themselves from something

you also get the impression that it's early morning so you're not sure if a lot of people have woken up yet so uh there could be magical protections they could all have a rule not to go outside until the morning and it's not really morning but it's dark and as you all sort of run down towards the end of this main street uh you don't really pick up on any other signs of life you wonder if uh maybe what you caught was like a stray you don't know what that was okay we keep going uh you get so when you get to the end of the street, there's another right and a left. You don't see anything remarkable in either direction. You just gotta kind of pick one.

Is detect magic a cantrip, or is it a spell? It's a spell. So that's been spent for you. Try the scarab. Sure. So what, do you just scan the horizon? So you scan the horizon, and you see all sorts of little glowing specks you see things that imply uh no no undead really um and you wonder maybe if what you

just uh slayed with bodhi was perhaps undead but you don't see anything undead at the moment uh you see things that hint there might be evil you see some blessings just sort of hovering around in different spots in the city but then when you look to your left way off at the end of a block you see what looks like a it goes like up out of a house by like 20 feet

this like pillar of glowing green uh oh is it the way up? yeah well it's glowing green uh-oh is it the way up? yeah well it's glowing green is it through his scarab glowing green? yes and we just established that we don't know what green is

it's related to illusion there might be more to it but let's definitely go there deceptive magic? and that was the green camouflage magic? what's glowing green? There's a sort of glowing pillar through his scarab farcing

coming out of a building at the end of the block. Let's head closer to see what it looks like without the scarab. You make a left and you get to the building, and the door is locked shut, but it looks like some sort of dorm. A two-story dorm. Is there something coming out of the building? No. Oh, is it disguising the pillar to the moon? No. Oh, is it disguising? It's disguising the pillar to the moon.

Yes. That's my guess. Let's destroy it. I guess it's locked or we can go inside? Yeah, it's locked. It's locked. Can you pick the lock? Yeah.

All right. Roll, baby, roll. Is it deception? What is it? It's a stealth. It's a stealth check. 14. That's a great roll.

Plus 4, that's 18. No problem. That thing pops right open. Check the traps. Yeah, you don't detect any traps, but something weird happens. You pick the lock, swing the door open, and as you swing the door open, it looks like the door is still there. You put your hand against the door, swing the door open, and as you swing the door open, it looks like

the door is still there. And you put your hand against the door, and the door is still there. So it's a magic illusion. I will cast Dispel Magic. It works. All of a sudden, the door just disappears, and there was no door even on the uh hinges to

begin with uh you guys wait huh what you see a little common area there's a bunch of couches there's like uh there's like a couple of tables it looks like there's some drinks on the table uh looks like somebody had a late night down in this little common area and there's a little spiral staircase in the back of the room you You can't quite see where it goes, but the first floor is all one room. It just looks like a rec room. There's nobody there right now. Upstairs.

This sounds like a pretty cool pad. Spiral staircase. Yeah, but there's empty booze bottles. You guys see there's cigarettes that have been put out. Like somebody's been stressed out down here, you think. Okay. But it looks like not undead, you know, like signs of civilization.

Okay. You head up and there's a series of rooms at the top of the spiral staircase. There's like six of them just up and down the hallway. And you're like, yeah, this is the top floor of the second floor um a couple of the doors are open and there's nobody in them this seems like a strangely mostly but there's uh two doors at the end that are both closed can we sort of guess where the we saw the green going up we should just go i think we should knock right yeah if you look through the scarab you can tell it's the one on the right you see there's a green glow that's extending above the building on the right

if you go down this hallway. All right. Let's do that then. And you're going to knock? Yeah. What? There's one door? There's one on each side.

Oh. Yes? One on each side. To the left, there's a door. It doesn't have a green door behind it, but it's closed. And to the right, there is one. It's the right door. And you knock?

You're a... Hmm? Or do you just want to open it? Or are we more stealthy about it? Do we try to pick it? Is it locked? You're going to try to see if it's locked? See if it's locked. That's a stealth roll for sure, if you want to test it to see if it's locked

without drawing attention. Oh my god. So many botches. Our dice are tired too. Two things. Two things. First, realize it is not locked. Second of all, the door opens.

And you just go... And I fall flat on my face. You don't fall flat on your face. I'm not going to count this as a botch botch. But because it's one, you for sure accidentally open the door and all the occupants in this room see a tiefling kind of like... I put you in a way too hard. Yeah.

Make sure you yell tennis, anyone. There are three occupants in this room there's three cots one of the cots has a sleeping person in it their back is to you the other cot has someone sitting in it smoking a cigarette

you recognize it as Master Magnus the guy you're looking for and the third cot you see what looks to be some sort of meditation stance that Dessa is doing the guy you're looking for and the third cot you see what looks to be some sort of uh meditation stance that dessa is doing she is sitting in like a sort of like like a cross-legged pose with her eyes shut and she is moving her mouth silently no okay and master magnus looks up and says, Oh, well, have you come to kill me? And he stands up, and he throws his cigarette aside.

Well, I guess. It could be that way about it. He wasn't bad earlier, was he? Well, he's undead now, and he did try to protect Dessa at all costs. Okay. And I will say, you guys think that he is getting in getting a little defensive because you straight up opened the door and last time you saw him you tried to kill him so he is rightfully defensive wait we tried to kill him uh you wanted to real bad to kill him you like said out loud

several times you're undead we should kill you i thought we tried to get him help and we like brought him back to like after saying you're undead we should kill you okay i don't so like he's all right you guys were very judgmental about some of the newer undead people okay you did try to kill one of his students when he turned undead and and you did yes you literally killed a student in front of him for only being undead okay what is it we're at everybody calm down let's all take us i'm still trying to get his eyes are very focused on you guys and they're darting between you and he's and he looks like he's in a gunslinger pose what in the sam hill is going on i follow his eyes and i call each

person's name as he looks at them he says yes i think i remember your names but thank you for the refresher what What is going on? I keep doing it. Huh? What's she doing? I am protecting her. That is all I am doing. How are you protecting her?

I am keeping one of the guards from killing her. The guard who's been, you know, lording over the mage college here says she should be executed tomorrow. And I am casting spells of my own right now of protection. So he can't go in this building. So, so all I'm doing is keeping a guard from potential from executing death. Why do they want to execute her?

He rolls his eyes and it says, Oh, obvious reasons because she is supposedly communed with Zin's arena. So you're not concerned about that i'm very concerned about that what are you gonna do about it i mean what can i do she's asleep she's harmless she's knocked unconscious look and he points to the the cot where she is in a meditation stance muttering something oh i thought she was the one so who's the third person is it you're not sure.

There's someone sleeping in it. There's someone sleeping in the room, and they haven't moved yet. Kevin Spacey. So you're planning on just keeping her in a vegetable... He says that's Master Jendi. You met her earlier, but yeah. So you're just planning on keeping her in this state forever,

or what's the plan? She's just sleeping. She's sleeping like any normal person. No, no. She's not commuting with Zinzerita. She's laying there sleeping just like Master Jendi. And he points between the two cots. They're doing the exact same thing.

Wait, she's just asleep? She's not. She's sitting up. But he's saying that she is? But he's saying she's asleep. Oh, God. Hey, I have to tell you something that is going to upset you. She's not. She's sitting up. But he's saying that she is? But he's saying she's asleep. Oh, God. You've got to... Hey, I have to tell you something that is going to upset you.

She's not sleeping. She's sitting up fully in her bed in a meditative pose right now. He's going to do a charisma saving throw. Do your scarab on her, too. Do a persuasion. That to do a charisma saving throw. Do your scarab on her too, right? Do a persuasion. That persuasion is not great. I mean, you know there's a pillar of green coming from this room. Yeah.

19. Can we tell him it's a pillar of green? Ooh. Is that with your? Yeah. What are you asking, Ken? I could show him there's a pillar of green coming out of the room. You see when you look through the scarab, it coming off of dessa oh i thought it was okay so

you can show him that uh either during or after if you want um but but what do you say to him exactly just like i explain what i say i don't yeah um he shakes his he shakes his head and he he looks back at her and he says she looks like she's asleep to me but I believe you what is show him through the scarab and he looks he's like I don't see anything I don't know what's happening right now

you're under some sort of a spell he says fuck he says well I guess I'm all I can say is i'm in a sort of uh weakened state i've i've smoked maybe a thousand cigarettes in the last 24 hours just trying to feel something uh and salvia uh he's like yeah uh i i might be easy to deceive, and I apologize for that. Will you do me a favor? Master Jendi is sleeping over there.

Will you check on Master Jendi over there? Oh, okay. Is she dead? She's breathing, but you can't wake her up when you shake her and poke her. Did somebody put a spell on her? That's the impression you get. She had either sleep cast on her or something like that. She's got a whammy.

Yeah. But he's full-on delusional and accepting that he's wrong. So he's like, I don't know. Is she mumbling is whatever she's saying? No sound, but she's definitely making words with... Okay, let's put a gag on her, right? Let's tie her up and get a gag on her right away. Or do we chop her head off?

I'm just saying. Measured response. No, I mean, it's actually not a terrible question. But we do need the path to open. He was like, I want to help. Clearly, I mean, it's actually not a terrible question. But we do need the path still open. He was like, I want to help. Clearly, I'm a sucker. She's my niece. I care about her.

I can't let you just kill her. I would rather throw myself in front of your sword, and you could just kill me too, I guess. Can we tie her up, and can you attempt to dispel whatever she's doing? I can't. I can't cast spells anymore. I've tried. I'm useless.

I don't know what to tell you. Okay. Well, let's tie her up, right? He's like, I can do some illusion spells. If you need some help with illusion spells, I can't dispel. I can't undo what she's doing. I don't know if I can dispel. I think I have to rest with this.

But should we tie her up while she's out of it right now? And then gag her? He says be careful touching her. If she's doing something magical and she's letting you talk, she's in some sort of state. And if you touch her, it might be dangerous. I'd really

like to just kill her. So I don't have to mess with her. He stands between you and her and says no i'm just saying go for it friends oh you know what i could maybe do yeah she's i mean she's probably pretty powerful at this point right probably so okay uh you guys take another look at dessa she seems like she is in a magical trance um based on what you already know and would be a gimme for you guys take another look at Dessa. She seems like she is in a magical trance. Based on what you already know, and would be a gimme for you guys, she is communed with Zinzerina via trance.

And as far as you know, nothing openly hostile would be happening right now, if not for the fact that you just saw a demon eat a guard. So I would say you guys would think that what she's doing is entirely passive right now, except for the fact that you saw a demon outside. Yeah, so let's tie her up. Okay.

But we can't touch her, then. Can you spell magic to cast it once without expending a spell slot once per long rest? Yeah, you already just did that. Oh, wait, I have... But to cast magic, I can cast it. Wait, I have something hanging. I'm wearing those gauntlets. I can do it without touching my skin. Let me see if I can use my...

Without your skin, yeah. But you might still have something happen to your gauntlets. I have a snare... That's right. ...spell. Maybe. It's not in the book. Oh, right, right, right. Hang on. I'm going to bust that out real quick. It's not in the book Oh right right right hang on

I'm going to bust that out real quick It's in the dungeon Right right 165 I'm googling this one Shut up No I'm kidding As you cast a spell use a rope

To create a 5 foot radius circle from the ground Have you heard my horse It use a rope to create a five-foot radius circle from the ground. Have you heard of a horse? It becomes a magic trap. When it triggers, they make a dexterity saving throw. They get pulled in the air, hanging up. Okay, so you could basically... Make it around her. You could basically instantly spring a trap on her as long as she doesn't make a dexterity saving throw. Okay, I'll try it.

She's got disadvantage on it because she's in a trance. Right, okay, let's try it. So the first one's a 12. Second's a 5, so she has to take the 5. Cat! And with that stat... I can do any animal. You guys see Dessa

snap out of her trance as suddenly a magic rope appears around her waist and yanks her upside down. Nice. Looking through the scarab, is the green still flowing out the building? Yes. Okay, good.

I mean, she's upside down. Is she still in her trance? No. She is now swearing loudly and swinging her arms and legs, so she's hanging upside down. I'm going to put the necrotic rope around. Necrotic rope is bonus episodes You son of a bitch You left it in another dimension Another dimension

My wife Is that what we're doing? What are we doing? My wife Never mind She's like let's fucking go. You want to go? You want to go?

What are you doing? She's like, I am trying to do something for someone else. For Zinzerina? Yeah. Yeah, well, we have a message. You're trying to bring about the end of the world. Most obvs. She's like, you guys so don't get it.

It is embarrassing. I hate her so much. She's so annoying. She's my least favorite person. She's a teenager. Eating her avocado toast. She's like, I am not causing anything outside. I am not even remotely.

That is the cult of Zinzerina. I am not a part of a cult. I only trust two people outside of that whole mage college that ever got me involved in this stuff. So whatever's happening outside, it wasn't my friend Viesta. It wasn't my friend Parashree. And that is all that other... That's a weird call to lunar elves or whatever.

That's not me. Maybe they're trying to help me. I don't know. But they're wrong. It's just me and my two friends. That's all it is. Trying to do what? I am trying to surrender my physical form to Zinzerino

so she could be born again on the material plane. That's all it is. I can't let that happen. But you don't understand you're gonna graduate she was killed and she didn't deserve to die today is the first day of the rest of your life do you deserve to die?

yes why? because I killed my parents and that's the end of the episode. She's right. She does deserve to die. Is that 24? That's 24.

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