Nerd Poker - Episode 34 - Fried Hegg

Episode Date: September 10, 2019

The Ice Five see only one inevitable way to recover the artifact in Queep's homeland, and that's to fight the mutant giant known as Hegg. Luckily they have lots of experience making bold moves against giant creepy weirdos. But will they succeed? And are they recruiting an even bigger creepier weirdo to help them? 

Hey everybody, I'm Brian Poussin, Comedian, writer, actor, nerd. I've been playing D&D with my friends for a long time. I decided to do a new podcast where we play Dungeons & Dragons in my very own dining room. With my wife, kid, and my noisy dogs. So meet my friends Sarah, Kev, Dan, Blaine, Chris. Now it's time for another episode of Brian Poussaint's Nerd Poker. Season three. Hey, everybody.

It's Brian Poussaint. You're listening to Brian Poussaint's Nerd Poker. Episode 34 of season three. My friends are here. Look at that. Hi, Chris. Hi, Brian. Sarah. Hi, Brian. Hi, Brian. Sarah.

Hi, Brian. Ken. Hi. Dan. Hey. Blaine. Hi, Brian. The last one was real confrontational, and it was really only an hour ago.

And this one is so kind of medium energy. At the end of the table, as always, Seth. Motherfucker. Sam. You're mad at me because you forgot my name? Because I fucked up because I'm an old stoner, and then you fucking let me have it. I don't think your name is Seth.

I know your name's not Seth. We'll see. Jury's still out. Yeah. All right. Hey, guess what? I want to thank some people who aren't named Seth. They've got their Patreon supporters.

Which ones? I'll tell you what. One of them's named Unfunny Name. Thank you, Unfunny Name. And yet it made us laugh. Thank you, Lord Brownington. I'll say. Thank you, Rianny Name. Thank you, Lord Brownington. I'll say. Thank you, Rianu Keeves.

Thank you, Sean Meredith. Thanks, Sean. Thanks, Jake Tawny. Thanks, Pat Dukes. Thanks, Pat Dukes. Thanks, the King of All the Snakes. Thanks, all the snakes. You've been the one in my boot. Thank you, Angela Green. Thanks, the king of all the snakes. Oh, thanks, Joe. All the snakes. Yeah.

You've been the one in my boot. Thank you, Angela Green. Thanks, Angela. Thanks, Angela. Thank you, Jody Freese. Thank you. Thank you, Jody. Thank you.

Thank you, Justin Grateful Dad. Thank you, Justin. We have more people than usual. We have so many. I should be doing this many every episode, and now I'm going to. Okay. One more, you guys. Their name is Big Tick Energy.

Thank you, Big Tick. Spelled T-I-K as in our favorite warforged. It's a tick that sucks you. It's Russian. What? You're going to get Lyme disease. Wait, what?

Key Lyme disease. I i get it i'd love that that'd be delicious it'd be tiring but be delicious you know what else is delicious what happened last time on nerd poker the intro music of which i'm trying to queue up the internet is thank you oh my gosh Thank you for the acapella. Oh, I don't even want to push to play on that music now. But I will anyway. Our heroes went inside the ancient Aarakocra city that had been abandoned by Kweep's people.

His Kweeple, if you will. After going through some tunnels to avoid the giant who is stalking around the outside glen, they found a theater-like room. And through a couple of, like, okay, I guess we're not exactly going to attack the guy, they managed to barter with what turned out to be not just a former druid, but an undead beholder and his wee little gazers. So you guys are in this big room, and you've made a new friend.

Friends, even. Yay. I like making friends. These guys are gross. You've made some gross friends, and this guy says he used to be a druid master named Guxan. He has told you that he got this way because he used the crystals.

But he's also undead, which is weird. Yeah. He doesn't like to be looked at, but he has just floated around the corner and revealed himself. Just don't break him. Guxan, you think you... Consider him sold. If we can come up with a plan to attack the

giant you will help us I'll do what I can yeah well that's not really a yes is it you offered yourself up last episode I'll do it I'll do it yeah I'm just did you go to the bathroom and then think about it

I'm worried about getting stomped on that's all Don't I look like I could get stomped on Did we establish what these little guys are I mean they're like Little beholders with little like They got four little finger like stalks Are these your three nephews They just appeared one day each it was weird

Where do you think We Would go to not get stomped on Are these your three nephews? They just appeared one day each. It was weird. Where do you think we would go to not get stomped on? What's a good place to attack the giant, but also avoid him? He's very arrogant. I will say that. I don't know his language, so it's awkward. I've tried to figure out what he yells at me when I peer through the hole, but mostly he just yells these single-syllable things. If I go to other floors, he can get to me very easily.

How good a look at him have you gotten? From a couple miles away. We haven't been up close yet, have we? No. What do you know of what's up with the giants around these parts? Let me ask you. He's mutated in some way, right? Yeah, that is correct.

What's the mutation? Well, there was a practice amongst the frost giants to the north in Pachinan's paradise. They used to do this thing. They didn't do it all the time where they would eat a troll hole and develop regenerative. A whole troll? Yeah, a whole troll. Troll hole.

Whole troll. They would develop some of the regenerative properties of a troll by doing so. Some of them would grow second heads, things like that. That's like that time I ate a whatchamacallit and I grew a whatchamacallit. But, yeah, they started doing worse things after the comet and these guys realized if they captured say certain other beings and forced them to be force-fed a troll hole it was very painful but they would gain a regenerative property and then the giant would eat that they're sort of turning them into these turducken regenerative monsters.

So it's a giant with other monsters growing out of it. Exactly. So this used to be a frost giant named Hag, but over the last few years, he has developed large, leathery, dragon-like wings, so he can very easily get to the higher levels of this place. When he first came here, he had

other giants with him, and they helped him kill all the Aarakocra, but now he sort of stalks around, flies around, and he can take out pretty much anyone. That's what he did to the Archmage of Vanzervale, is he punched his jaw clean off. So, hmm.

He's strong and he can fly he can fly he's also because he ate some of a blue dragon he's got some electricity that he can fire off I hate him vulnerability it's like the time

I ate those habanero chips they'd be keep flaming hot. Like, does he have a, a soft white underbelly like blue oyster cult when they don't want to tour as blue oyster cult? No, he does not have any weaknesses that I know of.

I can't say he is immune to most cold type attacks. You said he was arrogant. Very much. So he, he taunts me regularly. He, he laughs. So he's immune to cold and probably also electricity type things?

Possibly. I'm not sure what benefits he's gotten from the dragon that he ate other than he can fire off lightning bolts and fly. But that might be quite enough, don't you think? Is there any way to use the dragon eye against him? Possibly. There's very powerful magic inside the eye. I mostly studied it when I was a humanoid. I've been having a harder time focusing since I've become this.

How do you mean? A bit of eye having trouble focusing? Maybe you should go to Minecrafters. Well, these additional eyes, they can do some things, but I'm not in great shape. I don't know if you noticed.

Should we maybe put our eyes on it? Should we check the, where is it? Did something happen to you, though? A few tunnels back. Besides the beholdering? It seems like maybe. Something happened?

I think I might be... I mean, I was told I was being made immortal. It might have been just sort of a basic undead thing that has been done to me. Who told you that? The Archmage of Vanzervale. Do you think we can reverse any of this? Is there any sort of... As you ask

that, one of his eyestalks falls off. Oh, shit. Just sort of lays there. And then one of his eye stocks falls off oh shit just sort of lays there and then one of his other eye stocks points at it and through what's clearly some sort of telekinesis like raises it up places it back on its body and then one of the gazers comes over one of the little guys and just sort of like smushes it in a little bit. Oh, you poor guy. Oh. Were you... Turn Undead help? Were you made immortal?

Turn Undead would probably just make him run away crying. Were you made immortal before you touched the crystal? Yeah. And when the spell didn't go well, he told me the crystals would help get me my strength back, and that's what slowly turned me into this. So... Yeah. Well, Go that's what slowly turned me into this. Yeah. Well, Goxy, what's your name?

Guxon. Guxon. Gux, for short. I can do some magical assistance. Guxon. Guxoff. My helpers here that I seem to have birthed accidentally, they can do certain things as well, like mimic sounds.

They came out of you? Yes. Yuck. Not like physically, but one day I would try to sleep and I would just sort of have a fever hallucination and then these things would just be there. This is like Elsa's little snowman that she creates when she sneezes. Exactly that cute

and charming. They were created when I thought I could sleep and accidentally pop them into being instead. I stopped trying to sleep a few years ago. This is really depressing. Me too. Well, this is what happens when you ask a boss NPC

a lot of questions about his life. That sort of tragedy that befalls an evil person. We'd really like to help you. So where is the best place? Is there a lot of paperwork involved at this level? Sure is. I mean, wow.

Do you have any sort of insurance? Where's our spot to attack this giant? So he, yeah, he suggests a few things. First of all, you can go back and try to study the petrified dragon's eye. It's not guarded by anything other than him and his assistants. So if you wanted,

you could go back there and study it. You would obviously need to try to attune to it or something, and you're not sure what would happen when you attune to it. There's that. And he does say he's worried that if you try to attune to it, there might be negative effects. It's very powerful. So there's a chance you could attune to it

and something bad could happen to you. Hey, Guckson. There's also higher levels. There's ways you could lure him and he says his biggest weakness is his arrogance so maybe if you could trip him or trap him somehow. Cool. You said the giant had assistance?

No, he does. He has assistance. Oh, he is a assistant. Yeah, Guxan's little mini beholders. Maybe there's something we could make them all say to lure the giant away. Because I was going to say, I could cast sleet storm, which could make it icy, and then he's likely to fall down.

And first of all, that'd be funny. And then second of all, I feel like we could bend that, you know. Buy us some time. Let's do it. But first, let's do it. But first, one of us should try to attune to the eye, even if it has bad effects.

Yeah, that makes sense. It's a druid magic. It seems like it would be. I kind of wanted to go back and investigate it a little better anyway. Okay. Kaxan, did Dan paint you? Did he make a figure? Oh, he did. Yeah, yeah.

He didn't paint it, but he has a mini that was pre-painted. That's what I was hoping. I don't know if that last part was a figure. Or either. Anything. He was hoping for a figure. I just like figures. I've become obsessed with that part of the scheme.

Figures? Do you like math? The figures in the... Here's Guckson. Nice. Oh, that is like a scab with a mouth. That's not glad I asked. Guxon more like Yuxon, right?

Yeah, right. He's yucky. Yuxon, Yuxoff, right? I'm going to grab his three assistants. I don't think he caught the first one. I didn't. You know, in Russia. Look at people lay him up now.

Look at me. Yeah, yeah. Is that a karate kid joke? We've got to make sure our jokes get into the recap. You've got to get eye contact to make it into the recap. You've got to really sell it. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no.

Oh, look at these little friends. I think I did that just for... The green one's pre-painted. I did the red and the blue one. Adorable. Yeah, yeah. Aw. They're like sea monkeys.

Were you seriously thinking Karate Kid or the Clapper? Oh, I was thinking Karate Kid. Right. Yeah. So, yeah, he can lead you back to the Dragon Eye first, or he can show you some points of attack that you could try. Dragon Eye, right? All right.

Dragon Eye. Dragon Eye. Who's going gonna do it though but yeah he he leads you all back to a secret room where he has to use telekinesis to open it so one of his eye stalks quivers like it's gonna fall off again he makes the door slide up into the ceiling very pitch black room Those of you who have dark vision can obviously make this happen pretty easily, but there is hovering over a pedestal, this thing that's about the size of two of your heads put together. It looks like it's petrified,

like it's made of plaster, and it's just sort of floating there silently. Floating? Yeah. Okay, who wants to do it? There may be negative effects. Should we do rock, paper, scissors? It just sort of looks gray in the darkness.

Can anyone do this? Or does it have to be someone who has magical? It would seem, wouldn't a druid be? Yes, I think so. Because you asked, do a quick insight check for me. Okay. 12 plus 15.

It's most likely Druid would be the one you'd want to focus on, but somebody with an Arcana proficiency might be able to pull it off. All right! For God's sake! I have Arcana proficiency. Have we established if he knows him yet? If Dr. Uid knows him? He knew his name, but does Guxan know Dr. Uid?

Dr. Uid rather bashfully attempted to dodge the question earlier. Yeah, I saw that he didn't want to hear it, but... What? Does he know you? Does he? You'd heard of this guy. You're not sure he's heard of you, but you did get into quite a lot of mischief

near the end of your tenure. Well, you mean mischief with him or just on my own? On your own. Oh, of course. So you think he may have heard about you in a notorious kind of way? Some of my mischief? Yeah.

Okay. But just checking. You could ask him directly or ignore it. So, uh... Gox! Yeah! What kind of negative effects am I looking at with this... Dragon Eye?

Well, in my studies, I believe... The easiest way to use this is to... Not completely attune yourself with it, but bring it into proximity with other magical items. In its current state, it's a bit dangerous. It's supposed to be united with the other things first. I think if you attune to it, the negative effects could involve this kind of magic called wild magic where things could happen that could alter the fabric of space and time. And then

if it goes well, yeah, it could offer some sort of telekinetic abilities. You'd have to spend a few hours alone with it trying to find the magic within. Halcyon gestures at him and is like, he knows all about wild magic. Guxan's white eye kind of

like shifts in its socket a little bit as if it's pointing what's left of its retina at you. Didn't you used to teach at Half-Elf University? Kind of snickers quietly. Oh. Hugh.

It's Hugh I don't remember what you looked like because your appearance now is so horrifying kind of like grinds his jaws together if you did what they say you did this could indeed be catastrophic for you to try to attune

to this there There's already wild magic residue within you, I am sure. Yeah, well, a lot of things inside me. I'd love to see what would happen though. Yeah, a lot of people would like to see what would happen.

It's my go-to response. I repeat it with sort of amp it up and back at your face. All right, Blaine, you going to go for this? Yes. Roll an Arcana check with advantage, please. How about a natural 20? Yeah. And my Arcana check is a 5.

All right. Roll a 100 for me, please. Look at those little, little dice dice they're adorable no it's my hand is huge it's huge 90 wow holy shit okay uh as you focus and it takes you uh he's gonna be focusing for a while something wonderful is going to happen he just rolled a 90 on a on a that's amazing a critical attunement we'll call it uh i built a table for the attunement and i built a table for the wild magic one to 100 cool um so what do you guys want to do while he spends four hours staring at a plastered dragon i'm gonna watch aquaman on this flight you guys i want to rest so i can get a oh wait i need eight hours to do that I need to get spells back before we attack that dragon, though, for sure. Okay. Maybe

Guxon could take us and show us advantageous places to attack from. Well, he shows you there is actually two big stone gates on the top floor, and he says if there is a way to get those to trap his arm,

it would be difficult for him to fight back, and it would be high enough high up enough. I don't know why I couldn't form that phrase. High up enough that it would be difficult for him to continue to fly. It could break his arm if you were to attack his wings.

Stuff like that. If you could get him to jam his arm in these stone gates. Close it. Yes. All right. That sounds like bait to me. Yeah. We'll have bait.

We'll have two people behind each door that are ready to slam it. And what was it? Was there something else you were going to do? Well, we float somebody out there. I'm going to look for, see if I can find any eyepatch parts. You find. Why don't you do an investigation check for me? All right, I will.

I'll use the little die again. It'll suck. Oh, much better. That is 19 plus. Oh, wow. Yeah. I'm going to find some good stuff. A little piece of leather with like a skull.

Like a little bird beak. You find a largely looted area where the royal assassins used to be and there are a series of leather scraps there and studs that you can make an eye patch out of.

All right. Like a studded eye patch? Yeah, you can make a studded eye patch. Hmm. All right. So you... You should bedazzle it with a dream catcher. I was going to say, is there something...

The studs are small enough that you could put a pattern on the eye patch if you wanted to. You should take an ashtray that says Royal Assassins. Like, that's just cool. A towel? There's not much left other than scraps and studs and stuff like that but yeah uh i will put the pattern of an eye over my eye do a performance check okay roll 20. it almost looks like an eye but more like a googly eye so you've got like you've got like a kind of wavy outline of a circle and then in the middle like a big

pointing in a goofy direction pupil made of a steel stud that's cool yeah so it's like looking behind you to the like left you can fix it this is just the way i put it on yeah so it's like looking up behind you to the like left you can fix it this is just the way i put it on maybe so it looks like you have a googly eye stuck to the black leather eye patch that's cool rd and d feldman dr uid yes uh you discover after attuning with this thing that um you can at least until you find a way to charge this thing get uh five charges of telekinesis out of the dragon's eye uh this is a spell at 5th level. Last 10 minutes. Range is 60 feet.

Takes one action to cast. Did you say last 10 minutes? Mm-hmm. Okay. It is a concentration spell, so you can keep it active for 10 minutes. You gain the ability to move or manipulate creatures or objects by thought. When you cast the spell, as your action each round for the duration, you can exert your will on one creature or object that you can see within range, causing the appropriate effect. You can affect the same target round after round, or choose a new one at any time. Now, you're not sure you're going to ever be able to recharge this eye. This might be like a five and done situation.

If you switch targets, the prior target is no longer affected by the spell. You can try to move a huge or small creature. You'll make a spellcasting ability roll versus the creature's strength check. If you win the contest, you can move that creature up to 30 feet in any direction, including upward, but not beyond 60 feet. Okay. And then there's a whole bunch more rules. Rules? You can do a similar thing with an object up to 1 000 pounds okay and i will text all of this to you right now i would think that uh

and i have to have the eyeball on me the whole time to be walking around with this big correct dragon actually actually hold on to the eyeball. It can be restrained or strapped to your back, but it is twice the size of your head. So it will be like a giant hunchback situation. Interesting. I sent you the full text and a link to the

D&D Beyond. If we can bring that thing up and cleverly stash it somewhere by the gates, he could be slamming the thing. I could wear it over my head like I'm in The Residence. About 25 stories

up. You've been told how these things work, but you haven't seen it because it would take you almost all day to get up there. But two big stone heavy doors, there's two series of them or maybe we come back for it after and bring it with us wherever we go you also because he's got such a powerful spell you think you could maybe cave in one of these uh fissures there's a number of ways you could use the

tailgates throw the giant yeah there's there's a number of things you could use the throw the giant there's a number of things you can do we could trip him and trap him in one of these fissures just cut him and bleed him out great yeah I really like that the gate idea too just gotta get him up there

alright let's well we could use the little gazers The gate idea, too. Just got to get him up there. Yeah. All right. Well, we could use the little gazers to lure him up there, right? Because they can create sound. Correct. Right? We use that to lure him up here. We know that we made two big explosion-y sounds, and he came calling.

Right. If we're now making those same sounds in his own tower. Do we see the giant? I guess we're not looking outside. No, you could try and figure out what he's up to if you want. He doesn't even know where he is. Is there a window nearby? Is that him? No. Why'd you put him there then?

Because he was in my way and then I moved him. He's just there. I got the fairy dragon guy out. That's a cool dragon. He was on top of the zombie mini and the bag. What are you fucking suspicious of? It's like he thinks another NPC is going to attack him.

So, you want to peek? Alright. You're doing it, TikTok? Sure. Alright. Let's see a perception check. 21. 21. Nice. No, that's 69.

It's a clear day, but you can't spot him. It's almost like he is not within visual range. You look out through just the fourth floor kind of panoramic view and he you know he could be up he could be away it could be anywhere but he is not in the woods near the north mountain at the moment and he is not in the big open expanse between the east and west mountain can i see over by

the west mountain where we first started yeah and he is not there that you can see. He is not in view. Can we hear him? Do a perception check. I mean, TikTok didn't, and I'll say you just waited for 10 minutes and there was no sign of him. Cider sound. But if you want to spend more time.

23. You think you hear a storm in the distance, but if you want to spend more time. 23. You think you hear a storm in the distance, but that's it. Maybe he's up on his throne. Where is the throne room? It's above the top floor. Second door on the right. It's about

near the peak of this mountain. It's a shelf. Peak of the mountain we're in. And it's buried under the magical cloud somewhere. Are we all set up where we want to be yet or no? We're just trying to figure out where the giant is so we can lure him to where we're going to go. But I don't know. It's 25 stories up, you're saying?

The sun is starting to set at this point as well. What happens at night? Oh, we should definitely hole up in a room. That's when the owl bears come. Explain. Oh, you know, well, there's about 20 or so owl bears that sort of come to... They sort of fight the giant for sport,

and there's an understanding between them that they don't kill each other. They just have a rassle night. A good old rassle. Yes, and then when they're done, the owlbears disperse and clean out whatever meat is inside the caves. So we should find a room we can hide in.

I usually hide back here with the dragon eye. Why should we worry? We don't have any meat. I hide back here with the dragon eye behind this sliding stone door. Oh, that sounds good. They come smelling for me and I hide. I use the mimic sounds from my

assistants to distract them and get them away from me. Is there enough room for all of us in there? Barely, yeah. I'll barely. Should we... Sorry, I'm a little too tuned to this. As you discuss this,

you hear a series of hoots in the distance. Should we set up a hut? Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo! Inside the thing, right? I don't think you have Lehman's tiny hut, do you? No, but I have that... Do we have have Lehman's Tiny Hut, do you? No, but I have that rope.

Do we have Entenmann's Tiny Hut? Have we done that joke yet? Oh, yeah, you have a rope trick. Yeah, I can catch that rope trick. All right, you set a trap up outside? No, I think the rope trip, can't we go? Climb up the rope? We can climb up the rope and disappear. Pocket dimension?

Yeah. Let me look that up again. Do you have a card for that? What? Do you have the card for that, Andy? Oh, maybe he did give me one. Yeah. Pretty sure I did. Yeah. Let me look that up again. Do you have a card for that? What? Do you have the card for that, Andy? Oh, maybe he did give me one. Yeah. I'm pretty sure I did.

Nope. I don't have it here. Do you have that horn that goes dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee? It is a very bug-bunny-like smell. God damn it, I wish I did. All right, so you touch a length of rope up to 60 feet long, and one end of the rope rises in the air into the whole rope hangs perpendicular.

This extra dimensional space can be reached. Trying to see how much space it is. It can hold as many as eight medium or smaller creatures. Let's climb up. Cool. So you're not going to get in a sleepy quarters with the zombie beholder So you're not going to get in a sleepy quarters with the zombie beholder? You're not going to...

Yeah, let's go into his area and do the road trick. Okay, okay. Yeah. All right, so you guys are able to find... Behind the door, behind the stone door that he had. So as you create this space... By the way, this is only going to last an hour. Oh.

And then I cast it like like a guy at the Magic Castle okay see my famous rope trip Oh flourish I let the rope go okay but only less an hour it only lasts an hour yeah that's alright anyone who wants to go up in there for an hour is more than welcome to. Where's the party? The beholder says, alright, if you're going up there, I'm going to

close us off with this stone door if there's no objections. I'd rather rest down here, I guess, so I can get my spells back because an hour is not going to do it. Correct. I'll go up there for an hour and not going to do it. Yeah, correct. Okay. Okay. I mean, I'll go up there for an hour and just party or whatever, and then come back.

Yeah, I mean, you guys can say what you're doing up there for an hour, but after an hour, the space just begins to magically... We're partying. It's pretty clear. It's like this black pocket dimension that you're in.

I just brought a book. I mean, you guys can party. I found these little pills. They're all shaped like pink hearts. Why don't we all take a bunch? And yeah, the space begins to constrain. If it's something that makes me feel touchy, I don't want it.

Are you going to spend the full night resting up? Are you going to pass on the touchy? Yeah. We do rounds, right? Or guard.'s the touchy on the left side gucks on is very hoping i would do you fucking idiot trying to find something in my bag to cut myself with

plenty of shit in the kitchen all right i'll say watch with gus okay um the door is shut right now you're in a small room with a pedestal there's really nothing to do I'm listening for you know owl bears and just making sure nobody's I mean you do hear scuffling outside the door but it seems like the door is too heavy

for it to pry open and at one point you hear hooting that's clearly one of his assistants luring him away maybe while that's happening um i'll just kind of sit there and pull out the quill and a piece of paper okay but maybe i'll write something how did this work last time i started writing something and then you asked a question and then he wrote back is that sort of the idea does anybody have any questions for the Baron while you're sleeping?

We usually get like a sentence or something out of him. Should I label my food at work? Nice. Maybe ask him. Y'all like to party. We know more about the shards now. You could just ask him about the shards, like God shard or whatever. Try to get more information about that.

I was going to say shards or maybe something about getting him out. Yeah. Well, I thought I wondered if that was related, but yeah. Okay. So maybe I would start with how can we get you out of there? There is a pause, and he draws a weird line, and then he starts to write with your hand a W, and do a insight check.

Oh, it's a natural one. Plus two. He draws a W, but what was the first thing? You're not sure what he was trying to do. He was trying to draw a shape. You think he was trying to do a shortcut. It just looks like a stick or something. And then he wrote the letter W

and ran out of steam. Okay, well, we'll come back to that. All right. A line and a W wild magic. Wex hall. Wendy's. Wendy. Oh,

William Wu Tang clan. Anything else you want to do on the next watch? Anyone want to stay up and do anything? TikTok, you don't need to sleep. Is there anything you want to do for the next four hours while everyone else rests up and gets their spells back? Is Gus sleeping? No. Boss, you have any thoughts

about how to kill this dragon? You mean the giant? Yeah. I like the idea where we kill him. Sounds good. You have any thoughts about how to kill this dragon? You mean the giant? Yeah. Sorry, giant, yeah. I like the idea where we kill him. Sounds good. Okay. Hey, you know, before when I said go scout it out and you got all scared?

Yeah. You know, any one of us can be a scout. No one's sending you. I was sending you because I think you'd be good at it, not because you're expendable. Oh, it was just a cave. Right. And that's where I died that one time. Yeah, we gonna die i get it now okay well i just want to let you know no one's sending you out because we don't like you we're sending you out because we're a team we're the

ice five hey i had an idea you know yeah well it was the sequence of commands that particularly stuck with me is all what if you were in the Ice Five and then I was like your sidekick? Would that feel better? That way you're one of the Ice Five and then I'm the helper. That means like self-flagellating. Wait a minute. So does that mean I can tell you

what to do at all times? You're a boss. Okay. I see how things are now. I don't think you are. I think this is getting worse. I think I'm making you into a tyrant. Let's see what that's like.

All right. I don't know how this will work. I'm scared and excited. I'm scared-cited. You should tell Doug they're all about it. All right. So at this point, we got to do one more third four-hour stretch if you want to get your health back and your spells back.

But was anyone down health? I don't think so. And then my rope just goes... All right. Well, if you're just trying to relearn spells with the long rest, we can keep it to eight hours. And at this point, it is getting lighter outside, All right. Well, if you're just trying to relearn spells with the long rest, we can keep it to eight hours. And at this point, it is getting lighter outside,

and Guxan tells you there will probably not be the owlbear melee any longer. They're probably going to go back into the woods. Good. Get out of here, you stinkers. So is the plan for us to try to trap him? Yeah. What's the plan for us to try to trap um trap him yeah what what's what's the plan of attack here i can do a um like a thaumaturgy thing a couple things up in that area if we're trying to get him to reach his arm in um and then wasn't that what we were trying to do was get him to reach into

that area where the gates are well now we could potentially lure him up there and then just throw him off with the dragon eye. Oh, yeah. I was thinking you would use the dragon eye to close the gates or whatever. But yeah, whatever. Just throw him off a cliff. Yeah, get him up 25 stories and throw him.

Yeah, I mean, specifically what Guxan had suggested was if you trap his arm while he's 20 stories up and then attack his wings he can no longer support his own weight right so that was a mix of those okay okay so we would need to basically get him to reach trap his arm to reach into that area yeah so we get somebody up what is in that area there is it is a an area where they used to fly in rocks I don't know if you guys are all familiar with rocks. I know some of you may remember it from several campaigns ago.

But the Aarakocra would bring in a couple of giant bird, eagle-y things. The Aarakocra would ride rocks? No, they wouldn't ride them. But they would use them for long long distance travel as like attack companions they didn't issue commands or anything there was like a relationship you your people had with the rocks because the rocks are sentient also yeah and so um those gates have not opened or closed in a long time but you can take some of those spiral ramps up,

get up there. They're closed right now? They're open. Okay, so unless someone else has a good baby type spell or something, I could thaumaturgy sounds from in there that could make him

reach in, and then you could... I could also be in there. Yeah, we could just go up there and make noise. Well, then what if he gets you? Close that gate on him. Yeah. Break that hand. Okay. You're suggesting like to throw a voice up there. Yeah, but yeah, if you guys want to stand,

if you want to be bait, you know. And do we want to try to concentrate our attack on his wings? Bon appetit. Yeah, so we'd actually have to be outside for him to reach. We'd have to be outside to attack him, but inside to lure him. So maybe we should hide. What if I cast Dancing Lights? Is there a way we could combine?

Like if I, it won't make any noise, but if we made a noise and I cast. Yeah, we need something that's going to be. That sounds good. You know, we could set up. Yeah, we could do anything what's the jogger hundred and twenty feet I got range 120 on that so if I can be okay 120 feet away from it and cast it first of all you guys are trying to be asked it like out well I'm wondering is it an enclosure out of the yes it's like a big B it's like big it's like it's like an airport hangar high, high up off the ground.

So we should probably hang outside of it. So how far away from that would we want me to pass? I think we should be outside of it, maybe on the sides. So we can see him. Lure him into the inside, close the gates on him. But who's inside closing the gates? The dragon eye. Oh, okay.

Which means we've got to bring the dragon eye. Whatever you think is safest, yeah. Well, what's the range on the dragon eye. Oh, okay. Which means we got to bring the dragon eye. Whatever you think is safest. Well, what's the range on the dragon eye? That would be 60 feet. Okay. So we need to get him within 60 feet, but we could still get him far enough back.

How about a catapult? First things first, should we get you up there? Yeah. Yes. With the dragon eye though, right? You're playing along. Can we get you up there? Yeah. Yes. With the dragon eye, though, right? You're playing along. Can I get above him somehow, like above the entrance or whatever? You guys lure him out, and then I can, from behind him,

use the dragon eye to just shove him off the cliff? Again, we have to damage his wings. He's got wings. Yeah. Also, if you are within 60 feet, you could just be on the ramp part that's leading to the hangar area, right, without having to be. Also, if you are within 60 feet, you could just be on the ramp part that's leading to the hangar area, right? Without having to be...

So it takes you five hours, but you at least get up to what is essentially the 24th floor where these big things are. Once you get up there, this place has clearly had the giant ransack it at some point. How many steps did I get on my Fitbit? A lot. Like all the steps. You hit the max and the little pie graph filled up twice. Your Fitbit stopped

rotating and said, incredible, ain't it? And it was enough for bonus points for your corporate job to send you a free yoga mat. So good job on the exercise app. Can I get a yogurt? Do you really want one? You didn't have one.

I think we all on some level want one after what happened. Rhodes would be mad. I'm not taking Rhodes yogurt. One of the two bays. He thinks everything in the refrigerator is his. So there's two, right? So there's this big open area that's all interconnected. It looks like it is meant for...

I'm getting something for the fridgeware. I knew you'd hear me. I just ate half of what was in there. Who is... We're kidding. Go back to whatever

you're watching and listening to. Your roommate's really weird about the refrigerator. It's a big open space. He comes out wearing Beats when Indiana Jones hit. The rocks are not into enclosed spaces. So clearly it was meant to be like they would maybe shut these gates

for weather or something or privacy. But for the most part, they were left open. And there's just smashed open nesting material everywhere, strewn around. But you see one of the two gates is broken. So there's the one on the right. And the right door on the right of the sort of big bay doors is smashed to pieces.

And then there's some space between them. So there's enough room for both of the gates to open and close. And then on this side, this one seems to be on the on the left if you're looking out so that's the one that we would want to smash his arm yeah and as you look out um you notice first of all the giant he's down below just sort of stomping around he's a little too far away to see but you feel like if you look too long he might be able to look up and spot you guys. So you would instinctively kind of look out, see the big fucking giant, and then pull back. And this time, because you're from above,

you can see he's got giant fucking leathery dragon wings folded up on his back. There's also small balcony space. Very small. As you guys were talking about, if one of you wanted to wait outside to cast spells or something, it's like out of smoke. Yeah.

Or, or vape. Um, you could do that. Okay. Uh, it is not growing dark yet, but it is about five o'clock.

Is that balcony? What you were describing doctor, that's where you would want to be. Are you talking about being, I think he's the most in danger if he's like in the middle, cause he has a concentration spell. Okay. Right.

So he should be away if he just needs to be within 60 feet of the doors, but he could probably be within the area. Right. Inside. As far as if he's away from wherever. Can we clear this guy off? I think it's best if we actually don't use too much Dwarven Forge because it is more than we can handle.

But you just put these guys down. Guxan and his assistants can stay there. Let's get these stickers off and just hand me these, actually. So what we're going to say is this will be the left-hand gate. And if you

want to think of this as like the balcony, we'll put that centered. This sticks out a little bit and there's a big stone door on this side that can go in halfway. And there's one does the same thing over there. And this sticks out like 10 feet. Oh, but this is the opening right here.

Yeah. And like, this is, this is the open. So you could actually be outdoors by 10 feet or slide versus swing. They slide. Okay. They do not swing. So, but there's no, wait, is the open. So you could actually be outdoors by 10 feet. Do doors slide versus swing? They slide. Okay, got it. They do not swing.

But there's no... Wait, I'm sorry. The room's in here? The hangar's in here? Yeah. Okay, so there's nothing on the sides or anything like that? There is. There's more open space over in either direction.

But walls around it? Yeah, but the walls are way out here. Got it. Right. So it's another couple hundred feet in either direction. But no one's going to stand on the balcony if the giant is coming in this way with his arm, right? It might not be a good idea,

but you could if that's what you wanted. But you could also stand right here. Yes. Inside. I think that's what we should do is stand as far back as you can. Out of reach. Out of reach. Or even if you be can he could someone be here so he's not visible yes so yeah is there a way to get his arm in we shut the door on his arm and trap him that way

and then attack his wings while his arm is trapped in the door. That's the plan. There's a roof on the thing, right? You said it was open? Just the arm. There is a roof. There is a roof. It's high up. The roof is... So it's like a big old hangar, like you said. Yeah, the roof is like 100 feet up. It is a giant stone... The door is gigantic. And he's going to have to really reach up

to get in there. Are we sure that we will have the power? Why don't we just get him to reach through the door and then we shut the door on his hand? I love you. That's a great idea. If I'm not mistaken, the sticking point is how do you attack his wings if nobody's outside?

Right, exactly. Well, I mean, I think a lot of spells. We should attack his wings. Are there any other like outcroppings, anything that as long as because if i can be within there is another balcony like this over here but the doors don't work so you could be on that balcony trying to hide under something or okay what have you well i can do that as long as i'm within let's see. Is there anything else to hide? Do we have any sort of a fire attack?

There's debris. Can we use Gus to pour oil on him? He does have little hands. Does anybody want to use those insect gauntlets I have? Because they have a slash thing going on. I mean, I can call lightning

on him. Lightning doesn't work. No, we agreed that ice doesn't work. Electricity. But he has electricity, so we don't know if it also means... It might mean that he's immune to it. I think we need fire on his wings. Yeah, unfortunately, my stuff is all water and ice and lightning based. What would it take to make my arrows on fire?

Just soak them in oil and light them up as I shoot them? Yeah. So if I have a little hidey spot, I can get some fire ready to go. You sure could. Get up on the roof maybe? Yeah, if we can talk Gus into dive bombing him with some oil, that might help.

Yeah, if you and Gus can dive bomb him, put oil on him, and then just light his wings on fire. I'm going to cast Hail of Thorns on him, too. Great. So you'll need to hide then within whatever the range of that is. Okay. So Gus and Queep are going to try to get above up on the cliff. Well, probably up on the roof of this thing.

Outside? This is all post-arm catch, right? First we've got to get it. No, are we sure that the... No, I will wait on the roof of this thing. But this is all... Outside? This is all post arm catch, right? First we gotta get it. Now, are we sure that the... No, I will wait on the roof. Yeah. Out of sight. Until it starts. Are we sure that the telekinesis is strong enough to close the doors?

No. Do an insight check, Dr. Ewan. 17. Seems plausible, Doctor. Okay. Well. I'm going to adjust our map a little bit based on your plan.

So I'm actually going to do instead, if you guys could just scoot your cards and water and spell book a little bit. Thank you, Elderwood Academy, for Blaine's spell book. I'm Thank You elderwood Academy for Blaine's spell book I'm trying to do this right now it's great trying to do it absolutely oh somebody's glasses are also underneath oh oh no so we're gonna call this roof where okay you and Gus are quip yeah and we're hanging back. Uh-huh. And this is going to represent the sheer

balcony. And remember, there's sort of a whole other balcony like this over here that I believe you said you're going to be at Halcyon, so you're going to go kind of on a similar... Well, as long as I can see and I'm close enough over there. Yes. Okay, so I'm over here. And so there is debris

you can bring out with you. There's old rock nest straw. I thought it was debris. And so is Darkthor? There's smashed tables. And Darkthor, he's going to go over there too. You're on the side, right? And yeah, you can go back and forth. But can we see the front from the balcony?

Yes. Or from inside? You can see from that balcony to this balcony. Does that make sense? To have us there? Or where do you want can you can yeah you can see from that balcony to this balcony there to have us there or where do you want yeah you can see from there so i'm gonna and everybody but those two is going to be inside so you're all technically like hiding underneath are we the baits by being in there i was gonna do the thaumaturgy thing right you guys gonna be hiding behind because the like walls go back is the idea. Yeah. And we're sort of laying flat on the roof.

If we're in there, can't we only then attack when it comes time to attack? All we can attack is the hand that's in. His hand. That's what, yeah. Unless, so if you want to be somewhere else, you've got to be either on the roof or. So maybe it'd be over on the. But you can't be outside over there. Yeah.

You just need to be ready with your fire arrows all right well then if you want the fire arrows to be hitting anything other than the hand then he needs to be outside yes can i be at a matching point i mean then you're climbing on the roof and you don't have wings and the dragon might grab them and the giant might see you wait so there was debris is there somewhere out here i can hide okay you'd have to drag stuff out with you and hide under it like a lump how about i hide with them okay i'm gonna have uh if you three are hiding dark sir tick tock and hal seen do a performance check no survival let's do survival i botched 23 Let's do survival.

I botched. 23. 20. I mean, I have a plus three, but I botched. All right. So between the three of you, you get a pretty respectable amount of debris built up that you can create kind of like a little hidey place, but it's almost too small to fit all three of you.

So you get like a nice little fort, but you do feel like at least your heads might poke out if he gets close and you might be able to be seen. And that's all the debris you can gather. Hey, Queep and TikTok on behalf of Gus, can you please do a stealth

check to try to get outside without the giant down below seeing you? Sure. Twelve. Fourteen. So you managed to get kind of hidden up there but right before

you duck down, you hear down below, Ed McMahon? That's not necessarily... That's just somebody's going to have to draw him into the room. You hear in the distance... Dancing lights. Okay.

And you're going to throw some voices inside. Yeah, I'm making the sounds of humans. Oh, I'm so grabbable. Yeah, I'm making the sound of humans. All right, so. I hope nobody grabs me. I'm making the sound of humans being like, where's the giant? I can't see him.

Where are the voices coming from? From like right inside. Right. So. Okay. And Dr. Are you going to stay right there in the middle? Not right there.

He's hiding. Right. Right. Yeah. I'm kind of. He's as far away as he can be without. These guys are going to go. My four lights are like right out.

Inside. Oh, yeah. Inside. Wherever you guys want. Yeah. And I'm going to cast before this starts. I'm casting bless and the three of us over here i can also make four right together so it looks like the size of a person so brian you're gonna have um yeah yeah a d4 on any attack roll or saving throw oh nice is that for both of us yeah great you can add that to any attack roll or saving throw oh nice is that for both of us yeah great you can add

that to any attack roller saving throw for the next uh whatever one minute all right i am going to ask two ladies you guys to roll for initiative to roll for initiative. Okay. Don't say what it is. I'm going to go around the table. Hey, Dr. Ud, what you got? 19.

Darkthor, what you got? 26. Beautiful. Halcine, what you got? Six. Not so beautiful. Queep, what you got? 15 minus one queep what you got 15 minus 1 14 okay tick-tock what you got 16 give me a

roll for please rollles. You got a 14. Working on the chain. Close. You got a 14. Got a 4, a 19, and a 10 for the three tiny little guys. Man, my Brussels sprout burps. I'm sorry, you guys. It's worse than the... Have you noticed? It's not worse than the actual Brussels sprouts?

The actual Brussels sprouts filled every crack and cranny. I was eating Brussels sprouts when they got here, and my wife hates them, but she's not here. So I was going to eat them before she got home. And then these guys hate them. I get it. It's so delicious. I like the taste of Brussels sprouts.

That smell was real intense, though. Yeah. I love them. Yeah, me too. Do you love to smell them? And now they figured out how to serve them or cook them. Oh, yeah. Growing up.

Yeah. My mom ruined them. Not even steamed. She'd just boil them. Like everyone did. I feel like nobody knew about crispy Brussels sprouts. Oh, yeah. And about adding meat.

Or putting fucking bacon in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My mom would put cinnamon and chocolate on them. No, really? And they're still good. Yeah, and some basil. But boiled? She's making this up.

I would just boil a Brussels sprout and then a little tiny corned beef. Pretend I was a giant. I genuinely used to eat. A giant leprechaun. Are you a giant Jiggs from Bringing Home Father? I used to eat canned spinach straight out of the can as a kid. I loved it. Wow.

Just cold canned spinach. Like Popeye? No, just exactly like Popeye. Wow, did you squeeze the can to open it? I mean, I did love Popeye. Careful, Brian, you're not going to lose over. Would you beat up other kids in the neighborhood? Did you have those spicy crispy chicken sandwiches?

Is it over here? Oh, Popeye's. So, you hear the beating of giant leather wings, and from a couple hundred feet away, it begins to approach. None of you can quite see it, but you know it's just about to reach above the threshold here.

Darkthor, what you gonna do? What you gonna do? Right now, you're hidden over there. We have not cast any spells yet. I know you had intentions to, but he is currently coming at you because he saw somebody hiding up on the top. Okay, cool.

But didn't we cast the spells, the interior spells? I did the human voices and he did his lights spell. I didn't know you were going to do that. You're declaring you did it. Yeah, we already did it before we rolled initiative. And bless, right? And bless, yeah. Bless I caught. I thought the other two was just planning.

So, Dancing Lights, do a deception check, both of you, please. This is going to predate the initiative running order. Eight. I'm going to let you do just how seen 15 okay

16 he's going to roll against that with insight check in the meantime you're getting an assist from the two gazers who are going to try to mimic your whispers because they can do audible mimicking. So go ahead and roll with advantage on your deception.

I am, it helps me. He botched. So 14 that time. Okay, well, and then he got a four. So remind me where the lights are. Point in the three-dimensional space and remind me where the whispers are. They're both deep in there? Yeah.

All right. So, Dargthur, right before you go, you see this guy peek his head up. And he's not going for the roof. He is adequately distracted by the dancing lights and stuff. Holy fucking Josephs. Look at this fucking guy. He's flying and he just he's he's at full height right there but yes all gonna stick his arm in the creek what you gonna do now dark okay uh no I just painted the wings which are sloppily

done at best but that's cool so yourself yourself so short yeah it's fine anyway doctor your action is up his head is poking up okay well I'm gonna cast what is it it's crown of hail flirts hail of thorns okay and then um i will fire uh an arrow roll to attack sir cool wait he's attacking him yeah didn't we have a plan about what sticking his arm first it's all right he'll come after him probably but he's over there oh he's oh no so i won't okay i'm just we're still waiting you can hold hold your action if you want. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to hold my action. Okay, okay. Okay, I'm sorry.

No, no, it's okay. Yeah, I feel like we were, we didn't get a chance to really talk about it. Yeah, no, we're waiting for him to look in, and we're, yeah, okay. This is what I was going to do once he's caught. Right. Right.

Dr. Uwud, you're up. Are you also holding your action? Yeah, I'm waiting for him to. Okay, is anyone going to try to move before the giant? Because he's at the bottom of the turn order. So if anyone wants to take one more action, basically, you can. But he is...

I think we're all ready to get him, right? I can do another Thaumaturgy calling out from inside there. Okay, do another Deception check. I just want to draw him in the doorway. 11. Does it roll insight against that? Ha! You in the doorway. 11. He's going to roll insight against that. He rolled a 2.

Nice. And he has a negative 1 to that. So yeah, he is very distracted by it. And on his turn, he's coming in. Just so you know, I have arrows in the ground and oil, them soaked in. My idea is, so I'm ready to fire, fire arrows. So he comes through and he is just kind of like charging.

So he gets his head, like his head and arm are coming through the gate. You're all holding your action. Who's doing what? I'm going to close the door on his hand. So yeah, yeah, yeah. Roll the hand head. Yeah, sure. Whatever. It is nuts. I thought he could only reach in. I guess I only was imagining him bigger.

So right. He is much, much bigger than you, but the gate is just about I'll say this. he is he is that tall but this gate isn't the full height of this lid so like he is crouching right to get in there but he's doing like at full speed so he's not like perfectly reaching an arm and he can get his head and arm in there okay cool um yeah yeah do it close it so

this is gonna be he would normally how would this contest it would be a strength so I'm gonna have plus on your spell attack. He rolled a 12 plus 6. The stone gates go smash into his head and his arm. He is leading with his shield arm. So the shield he's going to try to hold on to. He rolled an 11. So that goes skittering across the...

Sweet heat skittering? Yes, sweet heat skittering across the gate. That's inside the... Uh-huh. So now what's going to happen is we're going to... Because you let Dr. Uwe do that first, he is trapped for the duration of this turn. Great. At least. And then he's going, he is trapped for the duration of this turn. Great.

At least. And then he's going to do another strength check to try to break free. We're going to go back through that turn order that you all held. Darkthor, what are you going to do? Go AWOL. You mean apeshit?

You're running away? No, no. Bye-bye. I got Beastie Boys in my head almost all the time. Hail of Thorns. Okay, let's do that finally a way what am I know that's casting so I don't have to roll for that no but you're good but then you're gonna fire an arrow to fire an arrow yeah so 13 okay oh no wait

is there strength also or no you get to roll a d if it's an attack I blessed you so you get to roll a d4 okay probably looking for his d4 but is it also strength you roll to attack you got a 13

and now you need to roll a d4 to add to that. Okay. A three. So that's a 16? Yep. That's a hit. Cool.

I'll take it. All right, roll your damage. I'll take it. Ryan, preparing to roll damage. Remind us Halo Thorns damage. Can you read us what it says? Yeah, and I think I put it in a third level. So if you cast a spell, well, so a creature takes one D10 on a failed save

and half as much on a successful one. But he failed, right? Yep. Wait, he didn't actually roll to save yet. Oh, okay. He's going to roll a disadvantage because he is restrained. Oh, and he sure needed it. Yeah, it's a fail.

Cool. So I think I get to roll because I put the spot at level three or four. So then for each level, I get to roll one D10. So I think it's a D10 or four. Nice. And with that, bless is the only reason you hit. So thank goodness for this Bless. And remember, this is for one attack.

I can never find a 10 easy enough. Good job, Halsey. I'm going to get it for 10 quickly. I got you. You need one. Ken's got you. I can't remember if I saw anybody at Paladino's last weekend

I think I might have seen Jalilo Kwai as a tribute to Urkel and as a bivalve knight I saw the two wang clam oh shit

it's a clam with two wangs. But they do all Wu-Tang covers. 26. All right. So 26 points of piercing damage as you guys see a bunch of arrows explode out of Darkthor's bow and slam into this

thing's arm and face. It roars in some nonsense language. The gazers are gonna fly at him the little the little tiny beholders are both gonna try to bite this guy hit hit you call them we holders they do very piercing damage, but you just see two little floating guys just float up towards the ground. Oh, it's so cute. And then Gluckson is going to...

I wonder if he's related to Zaxxon. Oh. Oh, you see a disintegration ray fly out of one of his dead eye stalks and it slams into the wall next to the flailing giant and misses. Tick tock. You're up. I'm holding my action until I see oil fall from my friends. Sounds good. Queep, you're up.

Tossing some oil on him. All right. So this is going to be a... And I might fly to get close to do it. Let's make this just a straight-up attack roll. Okay. I'll let you roll with advantage because he's restrained. Okay.

15. 15 is a hit so he is doused he is now soaked with oil on his wings preferably hey TikTok you still holding that action is Gus dumping oil too? not yet but Queep just doused him

alright well then oil works for me. I will shoot him with my arrow. Okay. Oh, Gus will do it next. I mean, you can have him douse more oil if you want. I mean, more oil, more than married. As long as Gus is doing it right now. Once he's lit, it'll keep lighting

him up. Great. Anyway. Yep, more oil. Great. So I will light an arrow and fire it. Fire it with advantage. Oh, even better. That's a 28. That's a hit. Roll your dam dams. And add a d4 for fire

damage, please. And then roll your damage. So that's eight points. Okay. If I make that arrow, the one that's on fire, if I make it also into a bursting arrow, does that add to the fire? It's one or the other, really. Okay, that'll stick with the fire. Okay.

And then I will do the same thing, one more arrow. I believe you had to use one of your actions to light the arrow. We're going to keep it at that. Sweet. And Halcine, you are up. Okay, so we weren't sure on what he was necessarily

mean to. We heard cold. So I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to um summon a cylindrical storm cloud 10 feet tall uh centered on the point i can see okay um above uh and you will have to move out of sort of where you are to see like above him above him well this is why i went there in the first place. So yeah, whatever I need to do to get there,

I guess. Um, but it's a 60 foot radius. Okay. So, um, and then, so a storm forms above him.

Yeah. Um, and then each creature within five, so I'm choosing the point that I can see within range. So I'm choosing him as the point. Um, and he has to make a dexterity saving throw. All right.

And he's going to roll this to disadvantage because he is restrained. He is not the best decks. First time he got a 17. Second time he got a seven. Nice. So, um, he takes, so he Nice. So he takes...

So he failed? Uh-huh. So he takes 3d10 lightning damage? Oh, boy. Here it comes. Does he take lightning damage? No, it doesn't. We'll find out.

It's only 10 points of damage. Okay. I mean, he's... We don't know if he takes any damage. You still hear a loud smashing noise as it collides with his body, and he thrashes around. But it's a 10-minute spell, and I'm just going to keep doing it. Okay. But we don't know if he takes any damage. You still hear a loud smashing noise as it collides with his body, and he thrashes around. But it's a 10-minute spell, and I'm just going to keep doing it on him. He is now going to take his turn to try to break free of the door.

Bad idea. He rolled a 9 plus 6. That is a 15. Hey, roll to keep the door slammed on him with your spell attack bonus, please. Nineteen. Thirteen plus six. He remains stuck, and that is where we will

cap the episode. Oh, perfect. Whee! Hey, Sam. Hi. What do you think we did to these little characters today? Oh, I'd be happy to tell you. In episode 34, the Guxong mini is super creepy, but the little ones are very cute. Guxong Guxoff is, of course, a reference to Karate Kid. Oh! We're going to make someone touch a floating dragon's eye or giant's eye or something.

I don't know. Something's always floating in this game. Ken's got a leather eye patch. I love this game. We're looking for a place to rest. This might be the episode where Gus and tick-tock kiss. We're setting setting a trap. Blaine explained everyone's plan directly back to them like it was his idea.

We might we might pour oil on someone. This has been a very lube somebody up heavy game. Oh, it's to light someone on fire. Disregard. I think the giant saw us. Yes, it did. He's coming. We knocked his shield off. Brian hit him with arrows and Sarah hit him with lightning.

One thing that I forgot about Halo Thorns is I think we didn't get as much damage. You rolled three dice. No, I know. No, but in addition, because I also get to roll whatever the actual arrow does. Okay, roll it.

And I didn't get to do that. Do it, do it, do it. It's eight plus dex. Okay. Do you have an eight handy? Here's a D8. So it's another seven points. Great. Another seven points of damage to this giant who is definitely taking it in the face and not enjoying it.

I'll remember that about next time. Yes. No problem. Or forget again. It takes practice. Part of what this is all about is making you guys fight till you learn stuff before I let you level up. Cause we're doing milestone stuff. All right.

Thanks so much. You guys please. Oh, I'm going on tour again. I mentioned that. So please look at my social media and see when I am doing shows in the Pacific Northwest, Seattle,

Portland, et cetera. Merch. Merch. Nerd. Poker pod.com. You guys, hoodies,ies, shirts.

Merch it. And I have dates at BrianPoussaint.com. That was episode 34. Thanks, you guys. Cuckaloo. Cuckalackaloo. Thanks for listening to another episode of NerdPoker. You can follow us at Patreon.com slash NerdPoker,

and you get bonus episodes from there. And you can also send us anything at P.O. Box 16069, Encino, California, 91416. Thanks for listening.