Nerd Poker - Episode 65 - Whiff of Tusk

Episode Date: April 21, 2020

Below the deck of a ship Dargthur knew long ago, the Ice Five attempt to clear any lingering nastiness and find more than they bargained for. All of it is familiar somehow, yet more ominous. But don't worry, they're going to keep setting things on fire. Who did you think we were talking about anyway?

Hey everybody, I'm Brian Pussain, Comedian, writer, actor, nerd. I've been playing D&D with my friends for a long time. I decided to do a new podcast where we play Dungeons & Dragons in my very own dining room. With my wife, kid, and my noisy dogs. So meet my friends... Sarah Kev Dan

Clay Chris Now it's time for another episode of Brian Poussaint's Nerd Poker. Season 3. Hey, everybody. I'm Brian Poussaint. You're listening to Brian Poussaint's Nerd Poker. It's episode 65.

I think it's our third quarantine episode or fourth quarantine episode, not counting the bonus ones that we've done. But it's nice to see my friends' faces on my computer. I cleaned it first, too. I didn't want to look at your face through. Never mind. Hey, I didn't mean sexual. It's because I sneeze on it all the time.

Sam's giving me a... Did somebody come in behind me? Oh, shit, I'm in a Blumhouse movie. All my friends are here. Ken. Hi. Blaine. Hi.

Sarah. Hello. Chris. Hello. It actually says TikTok the Mechan mechanical man on his little profile. Everybody else says their names, but not Chris. That's awesome. And Dan. Hello. You're the Alice Square. You're where Alice would be. Oh, Sarah's in the middle for me. Dan, how are you oh i'm great what's up nothing just checking in oh okay uh oh you know what i have anybody to thank well i really want to thank our patreon listeners so i want to thank

all our listeners for listening to us now you're not in a cubicle you're at home you're maybe you're driving uh in the middle of the night just to get away from the shit going on in your apartment. I highly recommend doing that. I don't know what's going on. Yeah, I like taking night drives. If you've got a Prius, you've got to keep your battery charged. Go for a little drive. Absolutely, yeah.

Maybe you're an essential worker and you still are having to get out there. Thank you. Hey, baby, I'm racing on Mulholland for pink slips. Either way, thanks for listening. And then, we really appreciate it. I thought we would lose

some people, and we really haven't too much. Thanks for continuing to support us through this thing. We're going to make it through this. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Just like our current story we're going through. In D&D and in life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But go ahead. Thank some people. I will. And actually, I should thank one of our listeners. I'm going to go ahead and leave his name out of it, but he knows who he is. But he well, you'll see why in a second. What a dick.

I don't want it. Well, no, I don't want to call him out because I don't want him to feel overwhelmed. But he contacted me on Twitter and because I was talking about how I know some health care professionals who wish they had an N95 mask and he was he had some extras. And so he's been giving them to uh people that i've been hooking him up with so thanks wow that's very cool that's great yeah uh in addition to that thanks anonymous good guy uh go ahead and reach out to me again if you want me to call you out i bet you want to be anonymous on that uh they call him the batman Batman. Alright, so I would like to thank some Patreon supporters. They go by names

like Nicholas Grimmel. Thanks, Nicholas. Thank you. Thanks, Jordan Brooks. Thanks, Angelo and Samantha's Moving Castle. Thank you. Fun little personal reference there for your

Miyazakis. Thank you, Thanks, Andrew and Samantha. Fun little personal reference there for your Miyazakis. Thank you, Peter Harmon. Thank you. Thanks, Peter. Thanks, Fart Simpson. Thanks, Fart. Thank you, Fartcube420. Wow.

Man, I see you fart and raise your fart. That's two farts. Thank you, Adrian Bundy. Thank you. Thanks, Scott at home. No fart. your fart. That's two farts. Thank you, Adrian Bundy. Thank you. Thanks, Scott at home. No fart. They're not alphabetical. That was a coincidence. Thank you, Mangione's flugelhorn of blasting.

Now that's a fart, Joe. Well, it is because my character, Nausicaa, stuck that thing up a bear's butt and blew it up. Great. Thank you, Peter Harrison. Thank you. Thank you, Pteroplata Dactylpus.

Wow, that's a lot of silent Ps. Like swimming pool. There's one silent P. Thanks, Karm Bottomstock. Thank you. Thanks, Brody the Bruce. Thanks, Black Miro. Black Miro! Balmer in the house!

Blaine Reference. Thank you, Wick Rotation. Thank you. Thank you, Spencer Wood. And thank you, lastly, TCDC and All Alley Cat ACDC Cover Band. Thank you, TCDC and All Alley Cat ACDC Cover Band. Thank you, TCDC. An all-Alley Cat ACDC Cover Band.

That's Top Cat, right? It is. And speaking of Top Cat, hey, Blaine, who are those Patreon supporters brought to us by? Brought to you by Hot Water. Comes in handy if you're making something hot.

Hot Water. The Boily Bird making something hot. Hot water. The Boily Bird gets the worm. Hot water. Back to you, Dan. Boily Bird. That sounds like a lovely songbird that's been thrown in the fucking pot of boiling water. That's terrifying. They're delicious.

Make sure you leave them in there for 20 minutes. You're going to get worms. And not like bird worms, like intestinal worms. We've all been there. Remember to leave your pet carriers on the curb at the vet's office, everybody. Yeah, I left my phone there. Sorry, I walked Sam. He's

off to get his dog that Brian walked. Brian, quit walking Sam's dog! I know, now that we're calling in, Sam can go from playing games on his phone while we record our episode to going and making noodles in the kitchen while we record our episode. He came back.

Now he's dropping a deuce. Last week, he came back with groceries. Also, where did the middle of that episode go while you were getting groceries? I got somebody to thank sent us a nice letter through our P.O. box. I'm still going to the post office and

standing far away from people. But I won't give all the details but he tells a story where he is going through a trying time and that our show means a lot and uh very cool uh roger uh brulard is his name and at the end uh long live tiktok but uh thanks roger

uh i didn't i don't know if he wanted me to share the details. So I'm kind of, you know. Okay. But it was very nice, though. And just how listening to our Jack Assery, you know, even during this, and he was talking about now, the situation's even worse since he's going through quarantine time. But our show still brings some brightness to his life. Great.

Yeah, man. Thanks, Roger. Thank you, Roger. Thank you. Thanks for listening. I'm trying to keep TikTok alive. Yeah, seriously. Yeah, we're going to work him over in a parking lot. Dad.

On that note, let us very formally get into what happened yeah I was just wondering god damn it I ruined your timing welcome to remote records where my deep breaths become even more tenuous

anyway I won't do a big one this time I'll just say what happened last time on Nerd Poker. Poker, poker, okur, okur, okur, okur, okur, okur, okur, okur. The Ice Five decided they wanted to head back to Dame Island, the scenic route, by commandeering a giant boat that once belonged to the pirate queen Dratlana, a drow who was very powerful and also the mother of our party member, Dagðrsturi. The boat at first appeared abandoned, but it was so large it was quite difficult to scale.

They found a juggernaut narwhal beast guarding it, after, you know, a few hours of them trying to go lightly a little lightly guarded. But then they found on the deck of the boat what appeared to be none other than the Tenebrous One himself, the spectral form of an ancient mind flayer known as Manzikorian. There was also a little, you know, sort of translucent narwhal guy he was talking to that dissipated. But they were like, fucking whatever. Let's burn a hole in the deck of the boat and fucking jump in and stuff there they encountered him more closely as he appeared

once again going for tiktok's throat and trying to go after hal seen a little bit he has dissipated once again and you are all in a room with a couple of coffins full of disemboweled drow all right so it's getting to be nighttime. The whole little room itself is getting pretty dark. How about everybody rolls a little perception check for me? Perception. Yeah. Ah!

Kicking it off with a 20. Nice. Lovely. Sarah, would you... Holy shit! Go ahead, Sarah. I rolled a 3. Not to undercut you, Sarah, but first of all, holy shit. Go ahead, Sarah. Not to undercut you, Sarah, but first of all, holy shit. Now let's pause, Sarah. What'd you get? I rolled a three, plus three,

so that is the number six. Well, Brian, you couldn't possibly have done better than that. What'd you get? I got the same thing Blaine had. Oh, shit. What's your perception bonus? Good question. Oh, so I'm a 24, by the way. Oh, lovely. Chris, what'd you get?

10. 10? No, no, no, no, 19. Oh. Paul Hardcastle, what'd you get for him? Does nobody remember that? I just called up. I feel like a few of us do but more people should know that reference

well if you listen to our show for seven years you would because we've done that fucking reference forever I have the same as Blade 20 plus 4, 24 awesome alright well

you know, Kweep, your eyes are adjusting pretty quickly those of you with darkvision are, you know, Kweep, your eyes are adjusting pretty quickly. Those of you with darkvision are, you know, you're doing quite well, but Dr. Uid and Dargthur, you notice kind of above you as the sun begins to set and the sunlight stops filtering so much through the hole you created

in the roof of this room below deck, it almost looks as if the wooden planks above you are starting to mend themselves a little bit and starting to cover the little opening you burned into the deck of Dratlana's boat.

That makes sense. Does it? Yeah, the boat's healing itself Oh, okay, that makes sense Yeah, you know, like boats do Wow Do we think this is a Dratlana's boat thing

or a vaunted Tusk's boat thing? I'm going to I'm going to let just I'm going to let just Darkthor do an insight check to let just Darkthor do an insight check. 16 plus 4, so 20. You're sure this is a part of Dratlana's

magical enhancements on the boat, yes. Oh, man. I share that with him. It's my mom's magical boat. No big deal. All right. Can you tell it...

Cool, so should we just purge the boat of everything and then just sail it down the river to Dame Island? You can just dump these coffins overboard, clear out whatever else is on here, and then just sail away, sail away I love that idea, I hope Timeboat doesn't get jealous well then we have two boats

Timeboat with single tear this Timeboat 2, my son makes electric boogaloo jokes all the time now which I had to explain to him what it even was but now that he knows, like, oh, it's the second break-in movie

where I think they have to save the school at the end and whatever. Yeah, you should show him the movie so you can make show-off references. But the fact that it's about a guy named Boogaloo Shrimp, he's like, oh, my God, that's the best thing I've ever heard. So Electric Boogaloo, Timeboat 2. Love it. Were we trying to open one of the coffins?

We did, and it's filled with raw dead drought. Right, right, got it. Like prepared for a meal or whatever. Yeah, they look like they've been pickled in some sort of spice, and their entrails have been presented in a sort of banquet-like fashion. Like a happy meal. They're probably like people that work for my mom,

right? And then fuckface killed them. It feels like the Path of the Vaunted Tusk or someone associated with them prepared them for sea monsters. I like the idea of tossing those goffins overboard.

We haven't even left this room yet, right? No. How are we going to get out if the boat is healing itself? How fast is this healing happening? There's doors and stairs. Let's try to get out. But they were magically locked from the outside. Why wouldn't they be magically locked from the inside?

Let's find out. Well, inside or outside, why wouldn't they be magically locked from the inside? Well, let's find out. Well, inside or outside, are we clearing out the boat first? Are we going to go all the way down and... Maybe investigate first. And if they've been prepared for eating, I'm not really worried about them coming back to life or anything.

There's no immediate threat of that. Yeah, let's go look. I say let's explore the underdecks of this boat. Underdecks. Yuck. I mean the undercarriage. I tie a crab bib on. I'm getting ready.

Oh god. I don't know what explore means to you but yeah. Okay. Okay. Brian is holding up a small Lego figure of himself. Yep. Rhodes made it.

They have like a professor face and it's definitely me. Thank you. That's awesome. Okay, we're going. So there are two doors. The boat is kind of docked on a sort of north-south

angle. Mostly north-south on the little dock where the Thixit clan used to be. It's a huge boat and the doors in this particular room are on the north-ish, south-ish sides. You have already checked them and they are seemingly

unlocked right now. You have already checked them and they are seemingly unlocked right now. You're not sure when they got unlocked exactly or if, you know, they should have been locked a second ago. It's not clear, but there's definitely stuff going on and Manzikorian might be watching. You get the sense that he's gone because you hit him. He might not be able to maintain a he's gone because you hit him. He might not be able to maintain a corporeal form for very long. Interesting. Yeah, also I can't...

Remember there's that banishment spell? I had almost no spell slots left because we haven't rested in a while. I'm just throwing that out there at some point. The ceiling is almost, at this point, completely sealed over you as well. Well, do you want to find a place to rest while the rest of us look around?

It feels like there's no safe place right now. So I say let's clear out the boat as best we can and then see what we can do from there. Okay. Yeah. So we're going to try... Our choices are north or southward?

Dan? Pretty much, yeah. Where was the front of the boat north-southwise? North. Should we just head north, try to get to the front? To the bow? Yes.

Okay, north door. Alright, so you guys, who's leading the party? What sort of... I'll really quickly, I talked to Chris about this, and I think I mentioned it to a couple of you, Sarah and Brian, but I'm trying to integrate an online map system that we can all share. Cool. Chris, I'll talk to you about this.

I just want to let listeners know I am working on it. It's difficult because I don't want to overload everybody's internet connection while we do this. Okay, cool. Who's going to lead the party? Who's going to open the door? I'm going to go through first. I'll go first unless somebody else wants to. I really want to kind of set the visual

for everybody since we don't have minis. We can post photos. I'm right behind him. It was my idea so I'll go in the middle. Protected by both sides. I'm totally last. Yeah. You're a brutish

barbarian, right? Typical role-playing party. Have the tank go last. I'm covering backup. Yeah, I think that makes sense. Yeah. I'm just trying to be funny. I don't really know how to play those games anyway. I'm not good at Overwatch. So you guys

head up through the door and... Check for traps. Right. Everybody do an investigation or perception, your choice, as you pass through the door in this order. And if you'd be so kind, I will call your names for which you did and

what your number is. Hey, TikTok, what'd you get? Perception 21. Hey, Darkthor, what'd you get? I'm super perceptive this episode. 15 plus 4, 19. Pantsy pants. How seen would you get? 8. Man, you're low rolls today.

Fucking yowch. Queep, what'd you get? Only 16. Being kind of a dick about it. Dr. Good, what'd you get? It's a song. 15 plus 4, 19. Great. And then a 19. Never received a receipt or a bag.

Everybody who got above a 15 and or has dark vision is going to see this. No one beat a 20, right? The highest we got. I got a 21. Yeah, 21. Okay, so I'll give you one more extra thing.

But, you know, you have dark vision, Halcine. You're blinking a little bit with this. You can sort of see what's happening. You're all kind of looking around this big room. It's about 100 feet across. Looks like it takes most of this level of the ship from at least east to west. It makes up the bulk of the area.

And you kind of look behind yourselves to the right, and kind of behind you, it looks like there's this big steel wall that you think is the cargo hold chute that goes from the deck above you down deep into the boat's guts where they probably store things. So you see this big sort of steel wall off to the right above you down deep into the boat's guts where they probably store things. So you see this big sort of steel wall off to the

right behind you. You know, there's a vertical shaft. I'll say. Hey, watch your mouth. He's just talking about shaft. Vertical shaft. I can vertical dig it.

The rest of the room is very large as far as width goes and it's only like a typical room's height on the deck of a boat it's like 8 feet tall you can all kind of like reach up and touch the ceiling almost and you're

looking around and you notice there's nothing really set up there's some slime on the floor. There's like trails of slime. But all the furniture is shoved off to the sides. There's not really like anywhere to sit. There's a couple of cabinets built into the wall that look like they've been cleaned out. There's some sort of tarps kind of scattered across the floor, but otherwise

the main room, which is about like 200 feet across from your left to your right, is completely emptied of furniture and stuff. It's all kind of just shoved on the east and west walls. There's probably having a wedding.

Looks like there's another door past the vertical shaft behind you to the right. And then there's two doors to the north. Tick-tock. Your eyes adjust very quickly. You think you see something spectral kind of whoosh past

the north doors. Manzikorian's pulling a Slimer. He's hiding in the ballroom Spectral whoosh Do we have Dan You said there was furniture shoved aside Do we have a sense of what this room was Why doesn't everybody do a little inside check

Chris what did you get? Six Blaine, you got a botchamaroo Yeah, I got a one Brian, what'd you get? Eight plus four Everyone's rolling low this time Ken, what'd you get? Na na na na

A nineteen? Yes You're in hardcastle mode. Sarah, what did you get? A 12. Which is actually higher than a few people this time. That's McCormick mode. This time most of you guys

are just piecing together this is just weird. I don't know if there's a meeting room or something. Even Darkthru, even though you've got some sailing experience. You know what, Darkthru, even though you've got some sailing experience, you know what, Darkthru, because you have sailing experience, I will let you roll with advantage. Roll one more time.

I'll see if you can beat Queep. 16. Not quite, but you do think that this was some sort of meeting room. Ken, you put together that this was some sort of war room. You're kind of looking around and you notice there's like a big fucking table smashed against the wall. And you recognize that from when you tried to defend your homeland.

Your people had kind of this war room they'd never used because they were a bunch of cowards and naive. But they had this sort of big oaken table that they would use to put maps across in the event of an emergency, and you kind of see something that reminds you of that put up against the east wall. Do I see a map with it? Why don't you do a little

investigation check for me, Cleet? No, alright. That was loud. Sixteen. Sixteen no, bonus no. Okay. Yeah, you find a torn up map. Okay.

This thing is pretty shredded. It does, however, look like it was unique to Dratwana. And when you show it to everybody, it's clear that it's got, however, look like it was unique to Dratwana. And when you show it to everybody, it's clear that it's got a route that goes around the Hawbelly and Bozor area, and then around to the south on the west side of the continent. But it looks like she never really sailed the east side of the continent near Donkey Land. Okay. I share that with everyone.

Thank you. What is the nature of the slime? Hmm. Why doesn't everybody do another insight check for me? Alright. Alright. Fourteen. Doesn't everybody do another insight check for me? All right. 14.

Two. Two. Two. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, wow. All the hard castles. For real? Yeah, I got one with a bonus.

23, 19 plus 4. Okay, Darkthor, you kind of realize this looks a lot like that slime that you guys saw when you hunted the Aboleth outside of Dame Island.

Oh, like sentient slime? A little bit. I share that with the party. The slime that was generated by the aboleth? Yes. That's what it reminds me of, yeah. Yeah, because they're like slimy fish.

Could an aboleth, like a baby aboleth, be on board? You mean a pavilith? Mm-hmm. All right. Let's keep... This is all information, all

adding it to the... Maybe it's not slime. Maybe it's goo-goo. Ah! Ah! One other door here. Hey! Those tarps. Are those tarps flat No they're kind of bunched up Like something's underneath them

Or folded Bunched They're kind of uneven Kind of sloppily Do they look like they're covering something I throw aside a tarp Oh my god Oh my god mushed around. Do they look like they're covering something? I throw aside a tarp. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Does the slime look like it's leading to any of the doors? It does, actually, yeah. Let's follow the slime. It always knows the flavor of fruit. A lot of it's pretty messy, but you can all kind of tell

there's definitely a trail of slime that leads to the northeast door. It seems like the most heavily trafficked door. Okay, so there's nothing in the tarp. Yeah, I assume there's nothing there since nobody reacted. So then let's go to the door. Was there anything under the tarp? Was there nothing there since nobody reacted? I'm sorry, maybe I cut out for a second.

Was there anything under the tarp? My daughter is texting me. I was distracted. I threw aside the tarp. You threw aside the tarp? My daughter is texting me. I was distracted. I threw aside the tarp. You threw aside the tarp? Yeah. So you kind of chuck it aside and you notice as you chuck it, the slime is really like, doesn't want to give the tarp up

for some reason. Oh boy. But does it? Yeah. You don't have to do a strength check But for a second you're like, what the fuck No, but it does seem like there's extra Chunky slime stuck to the tarp

Oh, that's the good stuff Let's head for the door where the slime trail goes Right? Somebody Has detect evil, right? I do not Anybody? No

The spell has changed a lot in 5th edition evil, right? Anybody? No. Nobody here. The spell has changed a lot in 5th edition. It's because not a lot of people lean on alignment as much anymore, so it's detect good and evil, and it's more for detecting beings from the celestial plane or a fiendish plane. It's not so

much an alignment detecting spell as far as I know. I was just trying to see if the slime was evil. It can detect a certain amount of good or evil intent, but there's not a lot of characters that are like, say, inherently good or evil or stuff like that anymore.

So it's tougher. Can I just do Sacred Flame on the slime and see if it reacts? Sure. Is that a cantrip? Yeah. Okay, never mind.

All right. Can you remind us what Sacred Flame does so I can look that up? I can if you give me a moment to... Hey, Blaine, what does Sacred Flame brought to us today? I saw them open for Evanescence, but it was an accident. Like, I shouldn't have been in the building.

You don't want to admit you've listened to Evanescence, is what that sounds like. Did you guys hear that Bob Dylan song? Speaking of parodies, the 17-minute Bob Dylan song, was it Murder Most Foul about the Kennedy assassination? You know, I'd like to recite

my favorite verse from that song for you guys. The dwarf said to the politician, I wish we had somewhere to sit. The politician doubled over with laughter. They both knew he was full of

shaving cream. Be nice to him. Shave every day and you'll always look king. Nice. Nice. Sam, I hope you heard that. All right. Sam is at the top.

He's at Ralph's. He's fighting off Vampire. Hey, Sarah, remember last year when we talked about Sacred Flame? What does your card say? It says a flame-like radiance descends on a creature. So I'm just doing this line that I can see within range. Target must exceed a dexterity saving throw or take 1d8 radiant damage. All right.

So... Oh, actually, it's 2d8. Ooh, okay. It's oddly enough, as you spread the sacred flame across the ground, you all see the slime kind of go off to the side before the flame can hit it. Oh. Like, uh-oh.

So this is not living slime. This was the same slime that we saw outside the cave, remember? And we thought it was some type of living slime. So let's just keep moving for right now, I think, and go through where the slime trail leads. We see you, slime. Yeah. We're aware of your presence, slime.

We've got our eyes on you. Oh, do you say that to the slime? Yes. Do a charisma check, doctor. Just a charisma check. Straight charisma. I forgot how charismatic I am. Not very.

12 plus 3, 15. All right. 12 plus 3, 15 Alright, so You see This fish-like eye Appear in the slime First just like a slit Across the slime, then a bulge

With a slit across the middle of it And then the slit opens And you see this sort of vertically Pupilled eye Stare at you, and then the eye Kind of extends outed eye stare at you and then the eye kind of extends out, benches, and blinks at you. It's a Dianoga. Jesus Christ.

And then it pulls back and flattens out in the slime. Uh, gross and fuck you. Attack! What the fuck is that? I mean, do we have... Unless you want to talk to it, we can talk to it. What's your deal?

Do you ask the slime what's your deal? Yeah. Yeah. Let's get another... Let's get a persuasion check this time. From Darkthor. Darkthor, you should put on your hat. Darkthor's classic

conversational skills are in full play, ladies and gentlemen. I kind of leaned over Darkthor's classic conversational skills are in full play ladies and gentlemen I kind of leaned over Darkthor's shoulder good I was going to say ask the slime how long it's been in the music business 13 plus 6 I don't say what's your deal

but uh what's the gist but... What's the gist of what you're saying? Brian. What's your deal is the gist. Alright, alright. Left me hanging there.

Okay, so yeah, you rolled a 16. There's... Plus three. Again, a very slow sort of congealing, and this time two eyes rise out open and blink at you. And then after a moment, both eyes stay out, but the other one kind of rotates a foot around you, and now it's got you at like 180 degrees with two eyes,

one to one side of you, one to another, and they're both just staring at like 180 degrees with two eyes one and one one to one side of you one to another and they're both just staring at you no i move no they're staying extended out of the slime at this point i i don't want to be in between the eyes yeah i get out of the range too and in a start to draw a weapon uh do an athletics check wait Wait, is it... Was it... Okay. What? What's the question? Well, I just...

It doesn't seem... It's not attacking yet, or is it? No. So maybe... Okay. Maybe you can answer some questions for us. Did you try already? Sorry, I got a little...

He did. He did, yeah. He asked a question, and all it made was two eyes rise out and stare at him. Yeah, but it made... Sarah, it made the second eye on the other side. So it was essentially on either side of us. Well, specifically Darkthor. It's trying to get one eye on either side of him.

So it's right at his feet. Hey, Slime, do you need anything? Can we help? Are you hungry? I got a 10 plus 6 on the athletics. Okay, so you jump back and you manage to get close enough to the rest of your party as you draw your sword that

they're kind of in front of you now. They try to get between you but you guys are kind of like planting your boots near each other, so it's having a harder time, but both eyes are staring at the whole party now. Halcine, you wanted to say something like food? Can we help you guys with anything? Do you need anything? We're just passing through, so

They just keep blinking at you But they are slowly kind of expanding outwards As if they're trying to surround the whole party Oh, no Alright, I guess we gotta go for it then Is there an eye close to me? Yes, there's one right at your feet Okay, I'm gonna do a

I have a poison spray cantrip I'm gonna poison spray right in the eye. Like I work for Revlon. All right. I don't mean to disparage them on a corporate or litigious level. So poison spray. That is... Oh, I'm sorry.

I have Poisson spray. It's a delicious... Delicious fish. Miso that I sprayed. Okay, roll 1d12, please. 10. Alright, so the gas hits the eye before it can blink and shut, and you just see it kind of shudder as you blast the poison into the eye.

I am now going to have you do a dexterity saving throw. 17 plus... So 20. Okay, you manage to dodge to the side as this pink blast of energy fires out of the eye and slams into the steel wall behind you. Oh my goodness. Hmm.

The eye slowly descends back into the slime. The other one that you have not attacked is just staring at Darkthor and trying to slowly still kind of like slide across the slime to try to flank you guys on your left. Go ahead. No, I was just going to say,

we got to just close these eyes and don't, you know, get out of their way. They're going to shoot clink glazes at you like you're in some Philip K. Dick novel. Are you a beholder? Do a persuasion check. Persuasion. Uh-oh. Not going to be good.

Ooh, natural 20. Holy shit. Ooh. Do you have a penalty? No, I just have no bonus. Okay. So, yeah, it turns to you and goes blink blink. You are. Do you know Venus? Just keep staring at you.

Okay. All right. Um, were you once a member of the ship's crew? Oh, blink once for yes and twice for no or whatever. Yeah, well, I'm assuming blink blink is yes and nothing is no. Oh, okay. I'm assuming. That was the assumption.

Blink blink. You were once the crew. Are you a prisoner? It just stares at you. All right. We are trying to make our way through the ship. Will you let us pass? All right.

It just stares at you Are we adversaries then? Keep staring at you Not adversaries But you won't let us pass Keep staring at you Do you want to come with us? No response

Are you sure no response means no? I don't know. Okay, wait. Try yours. You're not 100% sure it's being cooperative. It has responded in some way to the member of the ship's crew and the beholder question. Okay, so we're going to... Are you a blinking eye in slime? It just stares at you.

Okay, can you please blink twice for yes and once for no? And I'm going to ask you a question. Do you need any help? It just keeps staring. It doesn't even want to do your system. I feel like your eye is going to get really dry if you don't blink. So can you just cooperate a little bit more? Blink once?

Okay. Do you want food? Now that you guys have been talking for a while, Dr. Uwe, do you notice off to the right of the party, another eye is starting to surface out of the slime? It's now got you flanked. There's one sort of on the party's right, one of them on the left. Can I get over to this other eye

and I'm going to try to stay off to the side of it but I'm going to blast it with a poison spray. I love that we're over here chatting and he's just blasting it with a poison spray. Two different things happening. We should head out of this room too

but attack it if it stops us from getting out of this room. Roll 1d12, Blaine. That's a hit. That's another 10. Cool, let's get another dexterity saving throw. Hey, do you need any help? That's a 16. Once again, you guys see Dr. Lewis...

We're like cops. Hey, can I help you? Another blast of pink energy kind of flies over his shoulder this time as he eliminates an eye by spraying poison in it in the middle of its fucking bulbous orb. Good. Look, how's scenes really trying to help us talk to monsters? No, I mean't I don't think

That was more of a Hail Mary kind of I don't feel like these guys are I thought we might be able to get some information though And you seem to have figured out that he was a crew member Which seems weird I think it's because of the ray This is some weird beholder That doesn't have a body

Maybe this is just a bunch of slime eyes Maybe or maybe Do we know anything? Do slime have eyes? Do this kind of slime ever have eyes? Dan? Is it like a... You did not see this with the Aboleth.

Right. But you guys might remember that when you fought Thogas, there were weird tentacles that came out of the shadows. You know, when you were in his lair. Oh, like it was a lair thing. With your experience from sort of encountering beholders and all that, there is some sort of strange... Gotcha.

Yeah. You're not even the monster. You're just the monster's door. Guys, this is the monster's door. Alright, let's try the slime door. Alright. You guys approach the door.

Come on, come on, come on, come on. Now touch me, baby. This door does not have a basis. Can't you see that I'm made of slime? Check for traps. I really miss Casio during the door's reference. other basis. Did you see that I made a slime? Check for traps. Really miss Casio during the Doris reference. Yeah, me too.

Who's checking for traps? I'll check. Can we all? You can assist. I will assist. Queep, would you do an investigation with advantage, please? All right, I will. Ten! Man. You guys kind of crowd around

and you kind of jiggle the door. It feels like it is unlocked. Like there's no traps. What's the slime doing? Is it following us? Yes. The one eye is still kind of behind you.

Can I... Can we push the door open? I'm going to... I have a produce flame cantrip. I'm just going to shoot flames at this eye and see if the rest of the slime reacts to it. Because the poison doesn't seem

to make it fuck around too much. Alright, well in a produce flame. Anyway, I'm just trying to see what a... Sorry, I just wanted to see... You said you're doing the produce flame cantrip?

Yes. It's Michael Bay's favorite spell. Okay, so... Executive produce flame. I saw Bad Boys for Life and it made me miss Michael Bay. Really? Yeah. I saw Bad Boys for Life and it made me miss Michael Bay really? the new directors brought nothing to it

it was so lifeless the other two are ridiculous and I love them like Bad Boys 2 is fucking nutso from the beginning to the end the comedy is weird the action is so fucking insane but this movie just isn't

like that. It's not fun like Bad Boys 2 was. Well, they're tired. So I do a I can hurl it as a fireball, so I'm going to do a ranged weapon attack, and then I do damage. Well, it's a ranged spell attack, so you're actually going to roll a 20 and add your spell attack.

So I got a 17 plus 17 plus 7, so 24. And a 2, 2d8. The 7 and 6, 13. Alright, so you lay into

this thing with flame and the eye. And I just want to see if the flame makes the rest of the slime react so we know we can set something on fire if we have to. What was the damage on that one? 13. Okay.

So this time, again, I'm going to need you to do a dexterity saving throw. Okay. 17. 14 plus 3. Wow. You're doing great with those.

So, yeah, you fucking nuke it with the fire. It hits a blast. It kind of smashes into the door frame that you guys are heading towards that the slime leads into. And it disappears. And, yeah, the slime kind of parts the sea and it looks like it's trying to avoid the flame for sure. Ah, good to know.

Not unlike it did with Halcyon's Sacred Flame experience. Through the door. Yeah, are we going to push the door open somehow? We got anything like an unseen servant or something that can do it?

I don't know if anyone has unseen servant. I already burned my unseen servant. Alright, then let's just push it open. Stand back. Who's heading through first? Is it... It opened?

It does open, yeah. It's pretty dark. Let's get some light in there. Should we light a torch and toss it in? Sure. Into the gunpowder room. Who's lighting the torch and tossing it in? I will. I will.

I will. I will. Okay. So, TikTok, you light a torch, toss it in, and it immediately disappears in this magical blackness. Oh, shit. Magical blackness. Darkthirt, were you playing a concert in here earlier?

Maybe. Maybe. All right, now, they did the same thing before. And it was basically just to keep us out. Yeah, it's a darkness spell. Can anybody know to spell magic, huh? Anybody? No.

No. Doctor, can you dispel the magics? I can't even spell it. Wait. Sorry, you guys are breaking out right when I'm doing this gold. Dan. I know in other editions of D&D it's worked like this. If you have a spell like darkness, can I also do like reverse

darkness? Is there... No. Okay. That's a cool idea. That was the old game. Yeah, that's more previous. That's what I thought. It's worth checking. Sure, sure.

Before, but Darkth Sure, sure. Before, but Darkthor, you would know, what's the range on this thing? How big of a pool of darkness potentially are we looking at? How big could it be? I can only do 15 feet, but I don't know what this spell is.

She had darkness that was over the whole boat, right? That was her deal to Alana. Oh, yeah. Is there any way I would know how to dispel this from experiences of my mom or anything? Right. There are probably

some sort of controls in the ship that can cast magical darkness over different rooms. You're not sure where that room is, though. Interesting. Other doors? I would mention that to them. I'm going to pray to Valkyr for a path through the darkness. Oh.

Okay, do a religion check there, Helsene. I mean, you know how I've been rolling, Dan. Why would you ask me to roll you're right you know what Sarah you're banned from nerd poker because you haven't rolled well enough I don't know that's a good thing you call it a no strict meritocracy

oh jeez Louise well I rolled a 12 I hope you're happy he does have the card a 12 is that with a bonus yeah that's with my plus 1 oh okay well unfortunately that plus 1 was not enough bootstraps for you to pull it up

I'm sorry I'm being an asshole on purpose but the darkness doesn't lift however you do get a little bit of an itch in your brain from Valkyr with that. It just sort of makes you feel like there's a lot of evil magic on this boat. There's a lot of evil in general on this boat. And particularly ahead, there's something very, very evil.

Oh, good. Okay. But also, like, you would feel tense. Like, Valkyr kind of gives you just a spidey sense That maybe you're surrounded a little bit Right Can I try Sacred Flame Into the darkness

Because it does say a flame like radiance descends So And it's magical You know radiance so I'm gonna just You know descend it What level are you casting Sacred Flame at gradients, so... I'm gonna just, you know, defend it. What level are you casting a Sacred Flame at? It's a cantrip, so...

If there's no level, it's just... Okay. Yeah, I'm kind of almost down to cantrips at this point. I mean, I get, because of my level, it does 2d8, but if it lands on anything.

So as you try to bring the Sacred Flame in, it feels like your Sacred Flame is instantly dispelled. Oh! No matter. Great. Are there dogs' doors we haven't checked? Yeah, there's

three other doors, or two other doors. This is where the slime kind of went in. Yeah, this is the high traffic door. Hey, everybody do a perception check for me, will you? Alright. Okay, I have another thought. There's another door by the shaft. I want to do a Molotov cocktail into that room, but

perception was 11. There's another door by the shaft. I want to do a Molotov cocktail into that room, but Perception was 11. 24. What was that? We got a couple people at a time. Ken, what'd you get? 24. Fucking fuck.

Hey, Brian, what'd you get? Is it perception? Yeah, boss. 20. 16 plus 4. Damn. Sarah, what'd you get? 11. Blaine, what'd you get? 13.

Chris? 18 plus 5. 23. All right. All right. Queep and TikTok, you notice there's definitely some sort of smoky-like presences, several of them, in this room behind you as you're scanning it in the doorways. Oh, dear. In the room that we're in, not the new room. The big room.

Smoky presences? Yeah. Specters. There's specters in here. There's, like, specters. They're either moving slowly or stationary, but they're kind of like out in the room. I'm going to whip around and fire an arrow at one of them.

Okay. I think we're getting... I think this is bad. Roll to attack, my friend. Will do. Alright, shooting with my bow. I'm making the arrow magic. Well, that's a bad. 14.

Okay. So the arrow kind of goes and it just seems to hiss right through it. Everybody roll initiative, please. Initiative. You are in battle. Don't tell me what you get right away. Give me a second to roll initiative

for NPCs. No. Why don't you get fucked, asshole. Whoa! God damn. I'll try to listen. The UPS guy brought my new shoes.

Oh, what a shine. What a fit. But wouldn't you know it, I stepped out my front door right into some shit, and it ruined my shoes. Don't step in shit. It'll ruin your shoes. Do-do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do-do. don't step in shit it'll ruin your shoes brian looked like he just did a big inhale of a pen right before that joke i did a vape and spit

take for you that was beautiful uh hey um tick tock what did you get for your initiative? I got a... Oh, shoot. 25. You have a crazy initiative. I have a crazy initiative. Cleef, what'd you get? 12. Darksir, what'd you get? 17 plus 8. You're making me do the math, eh?

25. Dr. Ud, what'd you get? Eighteen! Ooh, you guys did pretty good. Halcine, what'd you get? Seventeen. Cool, okay. So Darkthor, as he fires this arrow,

there's a split second where you kind of see the spectral form that he fired the arrow at um it's about humanoid in size but it's so vague and hard to see there's there's no real light source at the moment um there's just you know some charred floor where a couple of you have tried to burn the slime and the spectral form seems to blip out of existence as the arrow flies past it. What are you going to do? You're all kind of like tightly grouped around this open door and there's this big empty room with a

lot of space to the right and the left of you and then kind of a short jaunt to the room you came from and the big vertical shaft. Well uh the spectraform big vertical shaft. Well, uh... The spectral form he fired at, I'm going to say is off to the

right. Alright. I'm going to slash at it. You don't see anything at the moment. Oh, okay. So, what are we attacking then? I feel like we can't really attack these things. You're definitely feeling like you're in combat,

but right now you don't have... I mean, you can move. You can take a defensive stance. You can do some exploring, but it feels like you're being stalked. Yeah, well, I'll move and look for another specter to swing at. Okay.

You want to go forward, left, or right? Forward, left. Okay. Do a perception check. It's just a 10, but plus 14. It's all quiet. You're not sure. You don't really see anything. There's no visual tracking. All right. I'll let somebody else...

You're going to hold your action? Yeah, well, I mean... Yeah, I mean, it doesn't feel like there's much you can do other than try to go through a door. Be defensive as much as I can, yeah, yeah. He could hold his attack until an enemy presents itself. Yeah, that's what I do. Okay, but do you want to have your sword ready? Yeah.

Sounds good. Tick-tock, what do you want to do? I will go, he went forward left. So I will sort of go the opposite direction, trying to sort of spread us out. Uh-huh. Same deal. I got my bow, and I guess I'm searching... Did you say there was more than one

spectral phantom? I thought there were multiples. Yes, there's three. So there's one sort of off to the right where you fired your arrow. That was the clearest one. And then there were two off to the left, kind of where Darkthor's three. So there's one sort of off to the right where you fired your arrow. That was the clearest one. And then there were two off to the left, kind of where Darkthir is going. Okay. Can I shoot at one of them? One of the two where Darkthir is going?

Yeah. But you're going to walk in the right direction. I want to make multiple targets. So maybe it's just not getting close to Darkthir. But if I have to go left, I'll go left. Is everybody just walking into darkness right now? Yes. But it's not magical, so those of you

who have darkvision, which I think is most of you, have pretty good track. Does anybody not have darkvision? I don't believe I do. Okay, so you LV folk do, but yeah, you know, it's pretty dark. There's a tiny bit of natural

lighting and you guys have adjusted your eyes so you can see okay-ish. But yeah, TikTok, basically, you can go to the right where you fired the arrow and there was a guy that was not visible anymore, or you can go to the left where Darkthir is kind of stalking.

Which way do you want to walk and which way do you want to train your vision? I want to train my vision to the left where Darkthor is. Maybe I will just set myself a little bit apart from the group but not crowd Darkthor. My idea is if there's nothing to attack, I'll do the same thing

as Darkthor, which is I'll hold my attack until there's something to attack. Okay, do a perception check, yeah. Perception. Perception. 23. Okay. and you walk off to the right, this spectral form to your right,

like just five feet, kind of shudders for a second out of the corner of your eye. Okay. And you kind of look a little more, and it looks sort of like one of the narwhal folk, except it's about your size. It's about seven feet tall. It's got this sort of spectral tusk,

and it looks like it's kind of like leaning back, haunched, like its face trained on you. Wow. Its lower body is kind of harder to see. Its legs aren't there, but it does have a sort of tail that's almost swimming in the air. It's like Casper. Yeah.

It's a ghost narwhal. Okay. And is this similar to what the ghost up above looked like before? Yes. Okay. More of these. All right. It's a B-52 song, I think.

Can I... It's about 10 feet to your right. Can I tag it? Ghost narwhal! Yes. All right. Down! Down!

I will say separate from Blaine's scream joke, yes, you made it. 17 plus 9, 26. That's it.

Roll your damage. All right. I'm going to go, I'm making it a magical arrow, so if it's, just so

you know. What kind? I have a thing now that I'm seventh level, any arrow I fire can just be magical it doesn't

I'm not doing one of the special arrows I'm just trying just if for some reason a regular arrow wouldn't hurt it a magical one might

but I'm not just so you guys know like say a creature is immune to piercing damage if it's a magical attack it negates that immunity cool bad 6 points oh yeah 6 points of damage If it's a magical attack, it negates that immunity. Cool. Bad.

Six points. Oh, yeah. Six points of damage. Okay. All of you see Tick Tock loosen arrow on something that's just ten feet to his right. It's kind of right up against the steel shaft. And as the arrow trains and smashes into it, you guys couldn't see his target really, but this sort of magical ripple happens throughout the entire being and you see the

top half of one of the Tusk folk, the Montadonts, or Montadonts, excuse me, I'm mispronouncing my own fantasy word that I made up, kind of like reel back as it gets hit by an arrow. Can I shoot it a second time? You sure can. Cool. Natural 20. Plus 9. 29.

Roll your damage and remember to double your dice damage, please. Will do. Double, double, double, double. You know what? Yeah. I don't have any. Here's the thing. I only have one more because I used a magic arrow up top.

I could use one more. I just feel like we're about to fight some really shitters. Okay, so I'm just going to leave it as is. I'm not going to light it up. Only a one, so two plus four, six. Worst crit. Alright, well. It hits again

there's not as much of a ripple through it this time but thunk, and it goes It's not? No, not as much of a ripple It can still be magical, it's still magical every time every time I shoot an arrow, it's magic Oh, then there was one Sorry, I should be clear about that

That's a thing,, when I fire an arrow it's... I make it magic. You're getting little sort of waves of whiteness across this thing's body. So I will call that out to everybody. It's like, magic works. Use magic.

Okay. My sword's magic, right? Sure is. Yeah, I swing. That's right. Are you out's magic, right? Sure is. Yeah, I swing. Alright, are you out of attacks, TickTock? That has nothing to do with his sword. Alright, so Darkthor, you're about 30 feet away from this thing.

You're going to book it over there? Yeah. Roll to attack, sir. Is this his held action? Yes. Okay. Shit. 22.

That's a hit. Roll your damage. Second. Second. Hey, Blaine, what was this attack brought to us by? This attack is brought to you by Pepperidge Farm Pube Soap Oh, another of that good old fashioned Bar of Soap covered in pubes Pepperidge Farm

remembers Pube Soap What are the other bonuses on the longsword the magical sword Oh my god, I've never seen Brian resist a blaine joke like that before So there's three bonuses. First of all, you get a plus one to attack.

I hope you're keeping track of that. Immediately after you use the attack action, you can enable a creature within 60 feet of you, that's anybody, but TikTok is especially relevant here, to use its reaction to make a one-weapon attack. The second is immediately after you use the dash action, you can enable a creature within 60 feet of you to use its reaction to

move up to its speed, which means giving it a dash, basically. You can give one of your friends dash. So you can give them attack, dash, or the third one, which is dodge. So if they're in 60 feet of you, they can use dodge as their action.

Okay. I give attack to... Is Kweep close? He's not close exactly. Or Tick Tock, then. Yeah, he's about 20 feet away. Tick Tock is right on top of it, though. But he's out of attack, so if you give him an attack, he can hit it again.

Yeah, so I got eight, and then I give him an attack. Eight points on my head. Great. Cool. I'm making note of that. And then are you going to use your dagger for an offhand attack? Yeah. Yes.

Okay. Is this a 17 stick? No, it actually misses. Okay. So the dagger won't go. Tick-tock, you've got another attack. Oh no, 18. It would be

18, Dan. Oh, excuse me, that is a hit. Okay, cool. Nice. You need an 18 to hit these guys. I forgot my plus one. And then let's see. that as a hit. Okay, cool. Nice. You need an 18 to hit these guys. I forgot my plus one. Yeah, you have a plus one. So, uh, and then, uh, let's see. And these are specters? That's kind of confirmed, or do we

don't know what they are yet? They're some kind of strange ghostly guys, yeah. They're like spectral monodonts. Path of the Malditas guys. Another seven in piercing damage. Nice. So you slash him again.

He's taking a lot of hits, this one guy. TikTok, you do have... One more attack? Yes. 20. Not natural. Okay. That natural. Okay. That is a hit.

Nine points. Magical. Lovely. So, bang. You hit him with another arrow. Did you have anything you were going to do with the rest of your turn, TikTok? We're still kind of in the middle of your turn. No, that was it.

I moved and I fired. Yeah, that was it for me. turn, TikTok. We're still kind of in the middle of your turn. No, that was it. I moved and I fired. Yeah, that was it for me. Okay, great. Up next, we've got Dr. Ud. I'm in the middle of this whole thing. You're kind of back a little bit, yeah. You haven't

advanced out into the room. I really don't have any spells or anything that I can use. It's all up-close stuff. Can I do a thorn whip and see if that affects these guys at all? You right now can see

the one narwhal that they're laying into. The other two are not visible. You can run up to that guy and get within thorn whip range and give it a shot, or you can try to stalk the other two. You know what, I'm going to go... Yeah, there's still the

slime. Yeah, I'm worried about the slime. What's the slime doing right now? Is it surrounding us again? No, right now it's docile. You've kind of scared off all the eyes for now. Am I doing the Chris Pratt thing

where I'm calming the slime down with my hand moves? Hey, can I move over to get in range of the narwhal that these guys are attacking and see if my thorn whip does any damage to it? Absolutely, yes. So thorn whip, is that a spell attack? It's a cantrip. Okay.

16. 16. So, sorry, 16. Plus, uh... So... Sorry, uh... 2d6. You got a 16? Yes. Did you add your spell attack bonus?

Oh, uh... A spell attack bonus is a plus 7. Oh! So then you definitely hit it. Yeah, roll your damage, buddy. 11. Oh. So it works? It works? Oh, cool.

Pull it back and just nail this guy. He's getting lit up. He's getting hit a whole lot by everybody. So are they invisible or spectral? It's weird that it would have a... They're spectral and it seems like they're very hard to see

in this lighting. You get the impression that they are able to mask themselves in darkness very easily. Not magical darkness necessarily, but they're able to hide their visibility with

some sort of spectral cloaking that seems natural to them. And you're not sure if they're ghosts or what. There's something definitely magical about them. It might be part of them. They might not be, you know, undead or anything, but that's a possibility.

Okay. Hey, Brian, do you have fairy fire? Can you fairy fire these outlines, the other guys that are on us? Yeah, I think so. You would definitely think, Doctor, that is a great idea, Doctor. Ooh, I just shouted at you.

Hey. I don't have a card for it, but can't I do it? Yes. It comes with all drow. It's built into that drow model. Yeah, okay. But your next turn, of course, is when we'll let you try that.

Halstein, you are up. Okay. So I'm going to try to... Did we decide... Yeah, I'm going to try to... Did we decide... Yeah, I'm going to try to turn undead. Okay. I think that we decided that that was... I have a specialty version of it that I can't do every time, but then...

Yeah, so... Yeah, I'm looking it up with you. Yeah. As an action, I present my holy symbol and speak a prayer, censuring the undead. Each undead that can see or hear me within 30 feet must make a wisdom saving throw. And then... Yeah.

Okay. So are you going to advance on this visible guy at all, or are you just going to sort of hope... No, I'm just going to get into the... I'm going to get into the closest part where I feel like there might be... If there's more of them, that they might be able to... You know, that as many of them that are hiding there might...

Okay. So... And starting at 5th level, when an undead fails its saving throw, it's instantly destroyed if its challenge rating is at or below a certain threshold. Okay. Yeah, you head into the center of the room, you present your holy symbol of Valkyr, and when you cast Turn Undead,

you first of all notice that the guy that these guys are fighting seems unaffected by it, but then you see a white flash about ten feet in front

of you. It's a little bit almost against the wall. It looks like. It's a little bit like kind of almost against the wall. It looks like it's moved a little bit since TikTok spotted it and now it is kind of like like like you just see it like like flash like it's upper half is just white for a second and it kind of flattens itself against the wall. It looks like it's trying to crawl, scramble away from you. Okay, so just that one, but there is one that's

trying to get away. There's one, yeah. It worked on one of them, for sure. Okay, and he doesn't have a challenge rating of one half or lower? It appears not, no. Okay. Alright. Up next,

we're almost at an hour. I'm going to try to give Kweep a turn. First of all, these guys are going to take some turns. So, I'm going to have Tick Tock. Ooh. This guy you've all been wailing on is going to lower his tusk

and attempt to impale you in the midsection. Oh, no. My guts. He rolled a 10 to hit, so that's going to be a miss. Thank God. But now he's going to try to sink his hands into you. I don't like that. You just see these spectral humanoid hands reach

for you. I'm going to need you to do a constitution saving throw, please. Constitution saving throw. 20. Damn. Nice. They just sort of become

just crossed in front of you as you kind of back up and manage to dodge out of the way of them. It almost looked like his hands became more solid for a second. They're real handsy. Watch out for these octopuses. After that, you see the one that's kind of on the wall

running away scramble about 40 feet across the wall. He becomes almost bright white as he's clawing his way across the wall. He's getting far away from the party, just kind of heading towards a door on the southeast end of this big room. Kweep, you're up. I'm going to fire a couple crossbow bolts. Which one? Whichever one I can see. Okay. The one that's running away? You can see two. There's one that's running away and one that's engaging

TikTok. Which one has been damaged? One we know can't take damage unless it's a magical attack. Yeah. I mean, it's all I have. I don't think we know that about the undead one.

The spectral one needed to be a magical attack, right, Chris? Yes, that's what was working on it. So do the other one, then, if all you have is a crossbow. Yes, I will attack that one. Well, also, you don't know that there's any difference in their undeath. It just seems maybe one of them made their saving throw and one of them didn't. Well, if I saw one took damage and one didn't.

Yeah, I thought that was... I'm clarifying something for Sarah specifically. Yeah, got it. Yeah, you're going to go for one that took damage. You're going to crossbow bolt him? Yeah. Let's get that attack, please Wait, the one that took damage Or the one that is fleeing That's not sexual

Right? I rolled 13 They're both kind of visible right now Oh, okay, okay, sorry I guess I misunderstood I thought one was, like didn't, couldn't take regular care. Corporeal and one was not? Yeah. They're both kind of

corporeal right now. The one that's engaged is getting hit enough that he's still kind of like glowing a little bit. Okay. And then the one that's fleeing is visible. There is one that none of you can see at the moment. All right, so that was one, 13.

I'm sorry, 16. that's a miss okay and then one was a 21. that's a hit yeah all right three that was perfect. You guys all see a crossbow bolt just cut through it and it doesn't even blink. It just sort of

right through its form. You're not sure it did anything. Let's see. I'm trying to look at my little map of how you guys are kind of configured for this next thing. Wait, does Pete get two? That one was my second one. Oh, never mind. Yes.

And so, hey, Darkther. Yeah. Something's about to happen at you. Are you doing a separate unboxing video, Brian? What's your armor class, Brian? 15. All right, yeah, this is a 20 to hit. You guys

see a spectral tusk sort of materialize from behind Darkthor as it goes, like, right through his ribs. Oh! Okay. Please do a constitution saving

throw, Darkfur. Oh, 20. Oh, nice. 18 plus 2. So you're going to have the psychic damage that you take from this. But you do take 12 points of piercing damage and 2 points of psychic damage.

As you just feel this tusk kind of like go mostly just grazes you, but it takes a chunk of your skin under your armor as it kind of slashes out through. And that third guy's tusk kind of disappears again as he

sort of goes back into stealth mode in the darkness for you guys. And that'll wrap up this episode of NerdPoker. Ow! Ow, I say! You got Fleetwood Mac'd.

Hey, Samuel, what happened today? On this episode, boats, doors, eyeballs, spectral. Nailed it! That's the elevator pitch, you guys! We just sold a show! Brian, anything you want to plug sir yeah

if you want to plan going to comedy clubs in July or August go to BrianPoussin.com I've got some new dates there we'll see if they stick. And then Grandpa Metal, I have a new video coming out for Satan is Kind of a Dick.

It's a lyric video that'll be out this week. And then I'm working on a video with Weird Al. And then I also have a video for, well, Grandpa Metal and New Music Sucks coming in the next month or so, as soon as we can get back and start shooting things in front of a camera. But they're both, like, halfway done, and I'm super stoked on them. And I've got new T-shirts and all that stuff coming out, too. Do we have any shirts on the site to plug?

Merch? Where is that merch? There is merch at nerdpokerpod.com. There's some things, I think, that are out of stock because the printers are not operating right now, but there is some stuff that is still available. Okay, cool. You can check it out.

Yeah. Buy a new shirt to wear alone in your house. It works great as a mask, too. You've got to dress up these selfies and boy, they sure would make a beautiful cloth mask for you to wear to Trader Joe's. Thanks for listening and also our Patreon. Yeah, yeah, go ahead.

I want to plug stuff. Yeah, I mean, definitely please check out our Patreon. We're trying to adapt as much as we can for the new sitch. So shout out to Sam, who has been editing some video clips. I don't know. We haven't really made it formal yet, but I've been trying to post like one as a teaser, one as a spoiler after we do the episode. So we're trying to just post those to Patreon.

So if you do support us on Patreon, that's a fun little bonus we're trying to just post those to Patreon, so if you do support us on Patreon, that's a fun little bonus we're trying to put on there. We'll try to keep making Patreon as fun and interesting as we can for you guys, and we really appreciate any word you can get out there to people. I still feel like even after us having been rebooted for

four years, there's people who aren't completely aware that we came back, so I appreciate it. And the fact that we're not on a network, you know, that people don't know where to find us, but we really appreciate your support. We're on all the apps, and when you support us on Patreon,

you really are helping keeping this whole thing go, and we've got a little overhead, of course, as a podcast, so we appreciate it very much. Yes. I've got my EP on Bandcamp if anybody has a couple of dollars you can throw at me it's dantelfer.bandcamp.com

I'm of course looking into doing some kind of live streaming comedy stuff on Twitch or on Patreon whatever we can figure out. Chris do you want to plug your project again? Yeah is Is it still April? Yeah. Cool. This will come out in just a week and a half.

Okay, yeah. Through the end of April, I'm doing a Kickstarter. I'm one of the several writers on a D&D 5E Cthulhu adaption. It's basically D&D 5E rules for a set. It's called The Devil's

City. If you look it up on Kickstarter, it's set in Chicago at the turn of the century. The main part of the adventure is you are one of the prisoners captured by H.H. Holmes, the serial killer, and you're in the murder castle. Jeez.

That didn't work out well for those people. Well, but maybe you'll roll a critical hit and escape. And then there's also a bunch of stuff. Because it's Chicago at that time, there's the World of Columbia Exposition. There's the Great Chicago Fire. All this cool stuff. So if you're in that turn-of-the-century Cthulhu monster D&D game, check it out on Kickstarter, please. That sounds amazing.

That sounds really cool. It's super fun. Thanks. The Devil's City. Yeah, when I lived in Chicago, I used to have a joke about H.H. Holmes and how his real name was Herman Mudgett, which sounded like a DuckTales villain. As voiced by Paul Ofton. And it's where My Name is Mud comes from,

right? No, My Name is Mud actually comes from this guy Mud. His name was Mud who protected what's that guy's name who killed Abraham Lincoln? John Wilkes Booth?

John Wilkes Booth lived in a farm or he hid in a barn and this guy Mud's farm. That's right. I thought it was Roger C. Carmel. This is maybe the nerdiest ending to this show.

Oh, hey, don't forget, speaking of nerding, Zoom Theater presents Stacey Keech and I, by the time this airs, we're going to be doing a friendship end with Ludus here. We've been working on it for a while. We're very proud of it.

Please tune in. We're bringing it right to your house. Wow. Right on. Love you guys. Thank you. Thanks, you guys. Love you.

Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening to another episode of Nerd Poker. You can follow us at patreon.com slash nerdpoker, and you get bonus episodes from there and you can also send us anything at p.o box one six zero six nine encino california nine one four one six thanks for listening