Nerd Poker - S4E26 A Tug In The Dark

Episode Date: March 9, 2021

Toody went for a little swim in the dark cavernous waters beneath the Leviathan's Spiral, only to get an innocent little tug on the leg of his armor. Probably something super cheery and not evil or slimy at all! RIGHT?

Hey everybody, I'm Brian Pussain, Comedian, writer, actor, nerd. I've been playing D&D with my friends for a long time. I decided to do a new podcast where we play Dungeons & Dragons in my very own dining room. With my wife, kid, and my noisy dogs. So meet my friends Sarah, Kev, Dan, Lee, Chris. Now it's time for another episode of Brian Pussain's Nerd Poker. Season 4. Hey, everybody.

I'm Brian Pussain. You're listening to Brian Pussain's Nerd Poker, episode 26. And I'm looking at my friends. My friends are here. Hello, Ken. Oh, hi, Brian. Uh, and, uh, I'm looking at my friends. My friends are here. Uh, hello, Ken. Oh,

hi, Brian. Hey, Sarah. Hey, Brian. Uh, hello,

Blaine. Hello, Brian. Dan, I still, Oh, God, too hot on the mic.

No, it wasn't. It was intentionally just too hot. It was too hot. It was too hot enough. And Chris, hey, buddy. Hello, Brian. I'm so far away from the mic.

And up in the upper right, I didn't know where to... I'm so thrown off by everything that's happening. Dan being way too loud alright we've got Sam up right where's ramen buddy there he is hello sweet children

hey man Sam I hope by now you've debuted your gif yeah I have good what's of that very moment of Sam pointing your gif. Yeah, I have. Good. What's that very moment of Sam pointing up into the sky and suddenly ramen appears like a beautiful ramen pop.

I'm going to put it on Patreon. Nice. Speaking of Patreon, Dan. Hi, Brian. Hi, Brian. Oh, no. Okay, so on today's, what episode is this? 26.

Okay. On episode 26, I just want to thank everybody who supports us on Patreon. You go by names like Occam's Electric toothbrush thank you thanks thank you blaine's successful pre-hobbit oh you're very welcome thanks again blaine's thank you killie kill off thanks killie thank you jack watkins thanks jack thank you scoopy dooby off. Thanks, Kelly. Thank you, Jack Watkins. Thanks, Jack. Thank you, Scoopy Dooby Do. Thanks, Scoopy. Thanks, Blaine's Bedroom Big Mouth Bass.

Thank you, Nigel's Not So Great Sword. Thanks, that levitating mall Santa you guys murdered at the Galleria. We didn't murder him. Thank you. Queeps little boy.

Peep. Thank you. The committee for Grima getting a magic sword. Oh, somebody who's tired of Grima not succeeding automatically against damage resistances. Thank you. New tans.

Oh, new tans creator of much of our background battle music thank you new tan thank you new tans thank you darth gibson was his name oh thanks dr ewits forest grown og kush loving thank you waka willis thank you bull stallion thank you zen smoke thank you rachel thank you boognosis thank Thank you, TikTok's ever-interchangeable anatomical gear parts. Correct! Thank you, Pat Dukes. Thank you, Jody Freeze. Thank you,

BigTikEnergy. Boy, people just love that TikTok's junk. And thank you, finally, Legless Wonderbread. Thank you, Legless Wonderbread. Hey, Blaine. Dan. Who were those supporters brought to us by? Brought to us by

Yoo-Hoo Chocolate Milk Movers, moving chocolate milk and nothing else. Yoo-Hoo Also brought to you by Doritos Assless Chips Doritos After Dark. Nacho Cheese. These are yo

cheese. Also in habanero and cool dude ranch. Doritos assless chips. Put some salsa on your balsa, Dan. There was a good in the middle of that somewhere. I'm glad Blaine finally told Dan to do that.

Dan, put some salsa on your balsa already. Yeah. And I don't mean your thin wood that you would craft some sort of radio-controlled aircraft out of. Or perhaps a boat. Well, as soon as I figure out what my balsa is, anatomically speaking, I'll put salsa on it. Anyway, it's time to talk about... What happened last time on Nerd Poker? The castaway cuties ventured deep into the caverns beneath the Leviathan Spiral.

After finding a pool with a few things in an altar, they gave a little swim back and discovered they were covered in invisible leeches. It's like Stand By Me, except extra body horror-y. pool and thought hey why not have 2d just climb down a rope into this vast pool with no company or attention really paid to what could be down there first just kind of throw him down there so he went swimming alone while they all watched from about 20 feet up this cliff face. And he swam out about 10 feet with a torch and said, Hello, hello. Kind of like looked around,

couldn't see the end of this underground lake. And, you know, just after hanging out for a while all by himself in a giant cave pool, he turned around only to feel a slight tug at his heel. a slight tug at his heel. We take you now to the castaway cuties in their cave situation. I keep seeing Sarah take big drinks of water and thinking it'd be a great time

to get a spit take going and I just don't have a joke ready. All right, so what do you guys want to do? I mean, right now, Ken, you feel a little tug. Yeah, I still want to get away. Do you turn want to do? I mean, right now, Ken, you feel a little tug. Yeah, I still want to get away. Do you turn around at all? Or do you keep going? Has he alerted us?

No, I'm going back. I want to get out. Do we know that he felt a tug? Do you have a verbal reaction, Tootie? Hey, something tugged me. Whoa, I've never heard Tootie like that before. You guys, something tugged me. Nice.

When you call out, you hear behind you something surfacing in the water. Do I see something surfacing? It depends if you turn around, which you said you didn't yet. I don't think I want to look at it. I just want to swim away from it. Alright, so you keep swimming away.

What are the rest of you guys doing? What do we see? Are you peering over? Yeah, absolutely. I think we're watching, yeah. You all can see there's this sort of sphere that the torches lit up. And something surfaced, but it's kind of translucent. Or, you know, it's kind of translucent or you know it's kind of like the predator it looks like the

water around it is kind of hard to separate from the object itself it's sort of camouflaged like the eel or not the eel the leeches were i love eels you guys they're great they're like snakes except water anyway so the this shape sort of has emerged on the surface of the water. You can see because the water kind of separates and ebbs around it. But it's hard to tell other than it's about the size of a human torso, humanoid torso. And we see that. Yes. You all up above your Nathans, your Dannys, your Jelfs, your Ivas. I'll see this.

Tootie, there's something behind you. I'm trying to get away from it. I'm climbing out. Tootie, do an athletics check. All right, then. Here comes a 45. That's a 25. Oh, holy shit.

All right. So you just start bounding up the rope. You do the thing where your feet kind of turn into like propellers. And almost instantaneously, you've done like a few really big overhanded strokes with your arms. Grab the rope and you're like five feet out of the water nice done me crushing it

but you hear calling from behind you this very soft feminine voice and it says Hark dear hero I am princess Caspia.

Will you help me? Yeah, what's going on? What's the problem? I have been imprisoned in this pool with no way out. May I join you? Well, we can't really see you. Are you turning around to look though because right now you're calling this without look now i will look going by the words everyone else you turn around

i can't see you because i'm not looking at you yeah i know it's it's a conundrum will you look like keep your back turned to somebody i was afraid of turning to stone uh well you know there are sea gorgons maybe that's a thing that could happen hopefully not in here no why would i do that to you ken never i like you i'm on a sea gorgon diet i see a gorgon i eat it actually very generous of you uh so you're turning around and you see uh this shape that was originally as i I described to everyone else, it's sort of ebbing water around it, see-through shape.

You don't really see like a thing. And then all of a sudden it coalesces into an octopus. This octopus is sort of a dark orange color now, but its skin seems to shift in shade from being transparent into dark orange. And after a moment, it becomes invisible again, and it says, I'm sorry, it takes some concentration to stay visible while I'm in this lake. I need someone such as yourself to free me.

Are you under a curse of some kind? Yes, I am under a curse, and also I am bound to this lake, for if you swim in this lake for more than a few minutes, you are forever bound to its waters. I'm glad I got out of it. So am I. Will you help me? What do you think, guys? Should we help her out?

Yeah. Did we hear all that? Can I do an insight check? Yeah, you can all hear, and you can all do an insight check. All right, then. Although I feel like anytime you do an insight check, it's tempting to be like, you all have a face

of suspicious puzzlement across. But I guess not. It's passive. That's not a fair trick. 22. 17. Anyone else want to go? I I mean it sounds like I've probably got the high natural 20

yeah 9 good yeah 9's great you got a natural 20 though Nathan what's your bonus 0 it's pretty good you get a similar sense to Iva but Iva obviously crushed it Iva you feel like

this is the voice of somebody who is genuinely in, in need of help. Um, it feels like there's certainly more going on here. Uh, but you know, you, you don't have any reason to believe they aren't a princess.

Aren't magically trapped. Uh, they, they don't seem to currently have any ill intent and 2d can tell evil right just like automatically you have to do that well dungeons and dragons good and evil has changed quite a lot over the years it's far more morally gray than it used to be detect good and evil usually is a sign of something like a like a trap or a spell having good or evil intent um it doesn't really find like beings don't have alignment necessarily the way they used to so it doesn't like automatically say that's a good or right yes i don't know why i'm ah got it no it might be a under actions i mean i think it's like a special paladin

divine sense divine sense oh because detect evil and good you know if there's an aberration celestial elemental fay fiend or undead says, until the end of my next turn, I can sense anything affected by the Hallows spell or know the location of any celestial fiend undead within 60 feet. The Hallows? Oh, it can detect good and evil. It says it can detect good and evil. Yeah, I mean, similarly, you know,

if there is a place or object within 30 feet of you that has been magically consecrated or desecrated. So what do I sense? This creature is not a fae, fiend, elemental, celestial, or undead. That's good. The pool has been desecrated. There is some sort of very vile spell cast on the pool. Hmm.

Hmm. Hmm. Shall we get her out of there, then? At the very least. Yeah, let's give her a hand. Whatever she is, truly, she's trapped. Right? That's what she says. Perhaps she's putting on the story of being a princess

to be more of an attractive rescuee. But maybe is there a possibility that she's the thing that desecrated it? I'm pretty sure it was Ron Jeremy. No, it's not. What do we need to do to free you?

I need just someone to reach in. I can bring a rope in. You see a tentacle briefly turn dark orange as it flickers up towards the rope. She says, I cannot grasp it myself. I need to come into contact with someone not in the pool. Why would we trust you on this? I will bring you great riches if you will return me to my home not really in it for the money yeah do we recognize her name or her like history you don't recognize uh princess cospia but she does tell you she is from mega lake pangadon

wow i was tabbed over i've missed the fun i accidentally turned my video off hi guys i meant to i meant to i just want to make sure you know. Sam, I warned you right away just so you know because I'm like blushing for you right now because I'm like, I literally don't know. Just so the listeners know. From our perspective. Sam turned up. You guys.

Hold on, hold on. Talk about hot. I'm going to disagree with the pool. Sam turned on his video, turned around from the screen, walked over, and started lifting weights. Shirtless.

Sam is wearing nothing but bicycle shorts. That's not true. I'm wearing a long dress. And he wandered away from the camera, I guess. I'll explain. I was a little little loud so i meant to turn it down and i clicked the wrong thing and turned the video on by the time i tabbed over i just saw sam kneeling and shirtless crushing you guys were cracking up how long how was it on? I warned you. I warned you immediately.

I just want some friend credit. Because, like, the second I was like... It's either a funny joke or it's, like, the worst thing imaginable. There's a gif in there. There's got to be. I'll first shortcut this video. Yeah. And guess what, listener?

This doesn't happen on Office, ladies. This happens on Nerd Poker. It does. It does. It did? Yeah. The weightlifting clearly is his first. At first I thought you were performing some sort of ceremony. I thought he was going to commit

Harry Caray. You guys. Never been a better time. He just can't take us anymore I'm sorry fucking nerd poker our patreon is really a great place to be now we got

nerd poker after dark as a new tier reward holy shit my face hurts so bad. Sorry, Sam. Oh, fuck. I'm glad he was only lifting weights. He could have been nude fully.

I mean, like, Sam, we don't know what you're doing in there, and that actually was so not bad. It could have been so much worse. It could have been so bad. Dude. I thought he was doing it on purpose to show off at first, and I was like, oh wait. Think of all the times it was worse

that we didn't see. You thought he was showing off on purpose? Like for one second I was like, oh is this a bit? He's like getting stripped down, walk over and start lifting weights while we play Dungeons and Dragons. I thought it was like he was a joke. Like a jock. Like a real FU to the nerds. Yeah. walk over and start lifting weights while we play Dungeons and Dragons I thought it was like he was a joke like a Josh

like a real F you to the nerds yeah well we'll never recover from this we might as well end the episode alright I'll take my shirt off Dan what the I don't know what to say holy shit

oh my face and then I fucking had a little bit of icy hot I don't know what to say. Holy shit. Oh, my face. And then I fucking had a little bit of Icy Hot on my hand, so now my eyes are like... Oh, no. No. Yeah, because I'm a grandpa. I always have Icy Hot on my hand. I use Icy Hot after I work out.

I'm okay, but fuck. That was... I mean, we should probably just explain to this octopus that we know you're not really a princess. You know what could take me out of what just happened? Can you please say octopus in Nathan's voice again? Octopus. Oh, fuck.

We want to help you, but no one's going to reach into your magic. Yeah, I don't trust this thing. That sounds stupid. She says, please, it's the only way. I mean, we simply don't believe you, so you're going to have to sell it better. Was your form changed when you hit this lake? No, I need to be taken back to my homeland. I am a beautiful mermaid princess named Princess Caspia.

If you will take me to the Mega Lake Pangodon and bring me back to my home water, I will transform back into a princess and I will bring you great riches. That all sounds made up. If we wait 10 minutes, I can perhaps cast a ritual that might help us understand a little bit more about her.

I can cast a tech magic as a ritual, so if we can hang out here for a little bit, I can at least understand the magic that's going on. Tootie, you did great on that athletics roll. You can automatically be up at the cliff top with your friends now if you would like to avoid the tentacle

reaching. I would like to. Cleaningly. You would? Okay. You guys all camp up top and you just tell the octopus to hang tight for a second. You're still making up your mind? Yeah, we're cooking something up for her. Okay. So you're just detecting

magic, Nate. Sounds good to everybody. We don't have to do that. That's the first thing that occurs to me. You can identify what kind of magic is going on. I don't trust her. We can at least find out. I mean, we'd find out if it's an illusion. I mean, I want to help her, but what's going on, man?

I mean, do we all link up and one of us grab her, or is that not a great idea either? What if it's some sort of transference thing, you know? That's what I'm concerned about. Danny's very trusting of me, and he doesn't trust her. I will say it has already tugged on Tootie's leg.

Yeah, we've already touched her. That's why I'm a little confused. If you do the ritual, then maybe can't we see what kind of, what's going on? Maybe. Maybe she's under an illusion and we'll see that it's actually... Yeah. A strange creature, a turtle that walked on two legs.

It was pitch black in skin and it uttered curses that turned me into this octopus creature. Were you here? Where were you when that happened? It came to the Mega Lake Pangodon and collected me in a glass case. What were you before? A beautiful mermaid. I'm the Princess Caspia of the Mermaids of the Mega Lake Pangodon. We can't say Mega Lake Pangodon enough.

So he collected you in a glass case and then dumped you in here and you look like an octopus. He performed experiments on me. Oh, no. Oh, I'm sorry. He cursed me into this form, but also took scales from my tail

when I was in my true form and used them to create dark potions of some sort. Now I believe her a little more. It's going to be hard to transport you though, either way, right? If you spritz me with some water, I should be all right from time to time.

We don't have a spritzer. I can, I can get out of the water, but the only times I've been out of the water in octopus form, I was out on a... There's some rocks deep in the lake. I would crawl out on them and I would cry out, help, help. Are there any adventures here?

And then the turtle would come in the water and torture me some more. Is the turtle here right now? I haven't seen him in a few days. We? Yeah. Pretty sure we squished him. A few days. We?

Yeah. You said, should we push this shield mask down the hole? You're right. I'm pretty sure. Actually, I think I've been jealous, but somebody did say it and then I did do it. Any whoozles. Do you want to do detective magic and see are you doing that yeah i say it's 10 minutes no one we don't that's fine right yeah of course so you detect there is a magical aura coming off the lake there's a few other magical auras in the area right at the bottom of

the cliff, including the octopus, who appears to have some sort of curse on it. Are there others like you, your majesty? Yes, there are other cursed creatures who've been forced to change form. I don't know if there are any

others that can speak the common tongue, however. Is he in the lake with you? Yes. Could we bring them all back to Pangadon, or wherever you're talking about? If you wanted to collect them all, but I don't know if all of them are of good intent.

There are a couple that try to grab me sometimes and they're kind of gross. So when you are in this different form, you still maintain your own character your own let's say i do alignment every once in a while he would come here with his glass case with it would be full of sea water or lake water and it and it would be full of little little underwater creatures that he would dump into the lake. And I could tell because they would try to cling to me or chase me around that they had some sort of sentience to them. But none other have tried to speak.

I can speak with my little octopus beak if you see I am doing it right now. I suspect that none of them ever had the power of speech. ever had the power of speech and that they are simply other magical creatures being used for experiments and transformed into water creatures so that they may be kept in this cursed lake prison is this room closed off completely or is there i cannot exit without touching someone else who can lift me out you can't get out of the lake but in lake. I can only get out of the lake if it's on top of one of those three large rocks around the lake I can crawl out onto. And that's how I know I can at least survive for

I don't know, eight hours, twelve hours without being in the water. Well, now I'm kind of curious about this. You have a very sad life in here. Oh, and it's a prison. It sounds like Iva's got a new octopus scarf to me. How big is this octopus?

It's small to person sized, I'd say about the size of like... Squidly diddly? Like a house cat. But I'm a gnome, so somebody else can wear this octopus. Do we have a jar or something we have some kind of a vessel we could put this octopus in with some water

she said she just needs an occasional spritz well I think you know I have a box of wine with me alright then I'm gonna spritz her um you know what I say we just do it yes let's bring her

oh wait okay can I are there any other small creatures because I can use speak with small beasts in the if there are other creatures in the water if they're a small beast and then maybe I can try to get like a reference letter or something from them oh okay

so there's one of that one of the auras you can sort of trace via nathan's detect magic there's um there's a bunch of just invisible creatures that are hard to tell one of them you the only one of you like got a fine enough aura off of is that well you know what um why don't you uh with advantage do a perception check to try to find one of these creatures i've and i'll say the aura from nathan is what's giving you advanced probably not that one not that much better 13 yeah okay so like the one there's like one uh obvious one that has been sort of following the octopus around right about five feet beneath the water there is this sort of sea

urchin shaped creature it's invisible but you know it's there from its magical aura that nathan can point out to you um okay so communicating simple ideas i guess i'd just like to communicate like you know tell me about this octopus or like what are their feelings on the octopus uh it says fancy princess there you go okay what's the urchin oh yeah what What about you? Puppy. This is a very sad... All right, your story checks out.

I know. I called your references, and they were good. So, anyone want to give a hand? I feel like this is a paladin kind of, right? Strong. I mean, Danny's the most able of us to climb down a rope. I'll do it if anyone wants to.

I'll do it. How everyone wants to. Danny, you climb down the rope, you extend a hand. And a little octopus tentacle suddenly blinks into existence. This orange tentacle. And wraps itself around you.

Do you help pull it out of the water? Yeah. Alright, so you lift it up. And as soon as it's completely out of the water, it becomes completely orange. And it stays orange as you climb up the rope. And bring it to the cliff. Thank you. Thank you all so much. Again, I am Princess Caspia.

If you can take me to Megalake Pangodon, I will be able to reward all of you. Is that where your kingdom is? Yes. The thing is, I'm pulling it up right now.

Shall I, if you're on roll 20, assist you? I will bring you, no need to look it up. I'll put it on the main roll 20. So it happens to, isn't it by where the monks were?

Monks' home temple is in Flayzacola. Okay, it's on the other side. But you did hear rumors about the hammer being near Megalake. Oh. Great. It's right by the peaks of Cray Cray. I'm not making that up. Of course. I see it. What does

Waze say? It's going to take us like 30 hours. I don't use Waze. Too many left turns on four lanes of traffic. Yeah, really. Okay, so I guess she's coming with us. Who is going to be allowing passage for this creature? Anybody going to carry?

Am I big enough to carry her? I'll do it. I just thought I was too small. Yeah, you can do it. Yeah, I'll carry her. She'll kind of like wrap herself around your back. Sure, and if anybody else wants to trade off, I'm happy to share.

I don't want to... Yeah, if she gets sore. Sure. Great. She says, thank you, thank you. I'll provide you with advice as we go, if you like. Lovely. Let's see.

This is working out great so far. How does Agatha feel about her? Agatha gets a weird vibe. I think Agatha's probably... From the talking octopus octopus agatha's probably agatha's probably seen an octopus before and she just gets a vague predator vibe she's a scholar not very warm well off we go yeah what are you guys going to do now you you uh you feel like you for the most part scoped out the visible area of what's in this underground cave. At this point

the idea of leaving may be coming to you. You of course could leave this cave and go back up through the opening that you found in the sort of bed chamber of that

tortle and then head out of the Leviathan's spiral itself. Did you have any belongings that we need to collect? She then breaks into a song about a cave full of things

from the world above the ocean that she has collected. That's a Little Mermaid reference And she, she, uh, that's a little mermaid reference. No, she doesn't. Uh, you gotta,

you gotta sell it by singing it. Come on. Part of your world. So she forgot her fork. Cause I got gadgets and gizmos. Please. Right. I got 20. Uh, living on rock stone. please right thing of a box uh

living on rockstone um yeah you uh you she says no like the she was taken here while she was sleeping she was pulled to the surface and so she she was she came with nothing and has nothing

to take back. She does, however, recommend that you, you know, if you've killed this tortle, as you say, you definitely make sure you should loot his body, which you have. May I ask, I don't mean to be impertinent, but it seems sort of an important question. You are Princess Caspia, princess of what? The mermaids of Lake Penguin. You are Princess Cospia, Princess of what? The mermaids of Lake Pangadon. Mm-hmm. And so there's a mermaid kingdom inside Lake Pangadon. Yes.

Who is your heir? Who is the ruler of the mermaid kingdom? King Kala. And how do the mermaids get along with everyone who lives around the lake? There's some tension

for we are perceived as a threat to some two-legged creatures. There are rumors that we are perhaps sirens or creatures of the deep who mean ill will to the bipedal folk, but no, of course that is not true.

Is that of course not true because we're helping you right now, or is that of course not true because it's actually not true? What would you imply? It's okay. You know what? At at this point you can be honest with us i want you to know that i look forward to returning to my home and the finer things so if i seem a bit impertinent or condescending it is merely because i am i am overwhelmed with defending my homeland i've had no one have interest in my homeland in weeks months

defending your homeland well let's talk about this on the way right because we don't want to sit around here how did you sending the little stone ladder at this point up the tunnel how did you end up in this this underground

lake well let me recap it again for those of you who are a little stoned so i was wait wait wait wait i just wait but how did you end up in the lake all right well let me recap it a little bit for those of us who are a little stoned so i thought she turned off the camera but actually she turned on the camera and then she was essentially wearing black underpants. And really just like. Oh,

he's probably taking his shirt off. Oh, what happened? Danny just did a nightcrawler bamf over to the other side of the zoom screen. I know. Excuse me. I'm wearing my girlfriend's glasses. I was going to say, what glasses are you wearing?

How'd that happen? What happened just now? All right. That's so crazy. Yeah. Visual bits. I feel like we just lost time. I'm scared.

So I was at home and I was kidnapped and brought here in a glass case. Jelf? Yeah. And she refers a lot to this turtle. It's obviously the turtle that Iva kicked that stone mask thing down the tunnel and it smushed him. And you guys looted his body, looted his

little home. You even got that knife from behind the giant tardigrade. So you guys have actually looted a lot in this area. Did we ever find out what this guy's name was? The turtle? No. Maybe she'll know. You ask her? Does she? I never bothered to

ask his name, the scoundrel. It's so much time traveling together. You never asked. No, never! Truly, Nipim's... I mean, it's interesting. She was his captor. I found him so rude,

I did not ask. I mean, I think she may just be like a haughty princess, but let's get on the road and find out oh I am a haughty princess that was out of game what is your name

check for his ID guys one thing I want to say is that wait a minute because doesn't don't we have a ranger here who should know very well all about the mermaids of Pensacola? Oh yeah. Bongo? Bongo? Grongrong? What's his name?

I'm pulling it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We haven't played this campaign in three weeks. Can it be Grongron from now on? Grigsby. It's Grigsby. I got the first letter right. I knew it? Grigsby. I got the first letter right. I knew it. Grigsby is...

Yeah, he makes a little face as you guys are talking. He was like, alright. Alright. Take him aside to get his thoughts on the whole history. He's from this continent.

Who's he going aside with? One of you guys got to... Yeah, take him aside to get his thoughts on the whole history. He's from this continent, so. Yeah, who's he going aside with? One of you guys got to. I think Nathan. He goes to Pangana for spring break every year. Oh, sure. I'll take him aside. Yeah, I'll go with Iva and the two of us.

So, you know. No, no, it's okay. I'm out of it. Grumgrum, what's the haps? I'm assuming you're setting down the princess for a moment to go pull Grimgrom Grimsby. You should snuggle with Jilt. Wait, Grimsby is the guy from Little Mermaid. Oh, sorry. This is all Little

Mermaid stuff. This is a lot of... Yeah, he is. Yeah, so Grigsby, I believe is his name. Played by Buddy Hackettett grigsby silverskin on named by patreon supporter grigsby silverskin uh goes to side with you nathan and he's like yeah what uh what do you want to know what's what's what's up nathan all of it what are the is there a mermaid kingdom inside of Lake Pangodon?

Well, Mega Lake Pangodon is very large, and there's definitely more than one sentient creature in it, but I've never been. I've only heard stories. What stories? Well, they say there's a weapon of great power beneath the waves in an old temple. They say the temple was once occupied by dwarves, and those dwarves are now gone,

now that the lake has consumed the ruins, and the ruins are now occupied by other creatures. Anything you've heard of? The creatures are... God, the hammer itself are not good, but there's plenty of room in the lake for other creatures. Okay. But she's a princess, so we're talking about like a kingdom. So not like monsters, we're talking about an organized system with a hierarchy, specifically a monarchy. Fair enough, but I will say, Mega Lake Pangodon is at least the size of four Eastern European countries,

so there's room for a few kingdoms. All right. And you, uh, what do you think about her? I mean, we found an octopus that says she's a princess. I've never had that experience before. It's definitely raised some suspicion. All right. it's definitely raised some suspicion alright

my my you know ranger radar went off a little bit when she said mega lake pangadon I was like oh the place with the evil fish people alright but you know like I don't have okay I feel like

since you're not native to David Dan Telfer NPC hang on I just want to say as Grigsby I feel like since you're not native to David. Fucking Dan Telfer NPC. Hang on. I just want to say, as Grigsby, as Grigsby, I just want to say to you, Nathan, you know, you're not from here. You don't know how big the lake is. I feel like there's a lot of confusion. This is a really

big lake. It's a mega lake. It says so right here on this map that Sean Bryan drew for you. Tell me about the evil. There's only one castle on the map. It's bigger than like Lake Superior, man. Evil fish people, gran gran. Yeah.

That is the first thing that came to my mind. I will say as Griggs be so... Cool you didn't mention super cool. I didn't want to give you the wrong impression because you're just a tourist. But guess what? Oh, sorry. I can't say anything because I'm not there. I got to ask.

Oh, none of us are in on this conversation, huh? No, you've all got to distract the octopus. How did you end up in the lake? You're asking the octopus? And she goes through that whole story again is what happens. Plane's nodding out. Time for a sap keeper workout break. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Oh, my God. I think he only works out to Billy Joel. Moving on. Honesty is such a lonely word. Three more. Everyone is so untrue. God, feel it. When Sam turns his camera back on for the end of the episode,

won't all of you be a little disappointed if he's wearing a shirt? Like, just like a little bit? Yes, I'm always disappointed. The only way to make this better, yeah, it's like, it's got to be something. He's going to be doing something crazy. He's going to be in, like, full clown makeup, you want to be pants on whatever it is it's gonna be like and i played with you guys long enough at brian's house that i really do feel like it's a it's akin to like all of us playing and you know how sam would sometimes be playing like

the jewel blitz or some shit on his phone while we were all like it feels like the equivalent of sam just kind of quietly getting up and leaving the table and then one of you like looking around the corner and seeing Sam is shirtless in Brian's living room like and all of us just peering around the corner and seeing him alone in Brian's living room in his underwear

just doing curls with Licky yeah exactly and Licky's into it like he's like perfect she's barking at him Mavis is just like licking his bare chest while he does it

no huh too far oh what really what are you jealous it's just for the salt it's just for the salt

leave Mavis out of it hey put the stuff in the chat Dan all right so Mavis is... Sam, we care about you and support you. We know you're listening. You're doing great.

So the evil fish people... You're the best around. Yeah, you know, evil fish people. No. In Mega Lake Pangodon. That's just my first impression. That's just like what flew through my brain for a second. I'm like, oh.

Are there also good fish people? Again, you're not there. This is Nathan fielding it. But Nathan, you can head back and start pulling people aside and relaying this to everybody. Sure, yes. I will grab Danny. Oh, hello.

Yeah, so Grungrun says there's evil fish people who live in the lake okay we need to confront that's all that live in the lake and at this point if you guys are like pulling people aside you're at least like leaving you're heading towards the opening of the spiral you're kind of like

yeah are there also good fish people he claims that it's big enough that there could be. But listen, even if she's an evil fish person, she may have some in for the hammer anyway. So probably it'd be fine to do a favor for, you know. But I feel like I'd like to know that before. I'd want to help her no matter what.

So should we just confront her directly with this information? Look, there's evil everywhere be like we're still gonna look we'll still help you get back we just you guys be straight with us get to the opening again of the spiral um and of course you can head back to flazacola now uh that's where grigsby wants to go anyway he needs to report to the flazacola sort of city council what happened to the filament of dongle monks. And it's late now. You spent so much time. It's like two in the morning and you guys are feeling pretty

tired. Dark. You know there's those large gorilla-like creatures in the jungle. You haven't confronted the octopus princess, Caspia, yet. Okay, so maybe we should rest. It's dark now. And she's also like princess of evil creatures maybe

she claims to be good to our benefit yeah to be a beautiful mermaid if she is evil and we treat her with respect that's points for us but do we have some sort of detect evil spell or did we already run one on

her? Tootie has his divine sense. I can detect good or evil. Didn't we? Didn't this happen? Yeah. No, we just did magic. How did she get in the lake? He cast detect good or evil. He did. He already did this. This already happened.

Is that how he got in the lake is there a way to just sort of run like an insight check to see if we did that also please somebody this year is already groundhog day do we want to confront her or do we want to bring her back i think maybe let's rest and then confront her in the morning when we're fresh what if she kills her asleep well we're gonna have a

watch up right all right princess cosvia it seems like we're going to have to camp out for a bit will you snuggle with me? I get a little cold at night. Could you just splash a little water on me before you go to sleep? Absolutamente. Thank you very much. You're quite a gentleman. One does what one can.

Have you ever thought of becoming a bunny royalty? I'm sure that you would be quite good at governing bunnies. I don't want to govern anyone. I want sure that you would be quite good at governing bunnies. I don't want to govern anyone. I want to help magic. I'm just being friendly. Oh, yes. Are they having a meet cute? They're definitely, they're like whispering

to each other while you guys are getting ready to go to bed. Danny's like, I have foreign paws. You have suckers. Is there a nerd poker slash fiction thing going on anywhere? There will be. Yeah. All right. Is anyone going to do watch?

Grigsby is, of course, available. Yeah, Danny wants first. Danny wants first. I will go second. Okay. Please do a perception check. Let me pull up my D&D Beyond page I'm just gonna

I'm gonna roll it on that watch I've never done this in game I'm excited for this digital dice perception yeah boss alright oh hey boss

so you just hit where it says plus 3 I think right and it'll roll do you see it Dan I'm pulling up the game log because I didn't have it open yet what I love it

it's pretty cool. It is, isn't it? Yeah. Cool, man. You rolled an 18. I haven't done this. I love the physical thing. I mean, you know, but.

This is handy, though, if you're on the road. It's cool, yeah. I could have played it last week when we were, I was in Car carmel when i played with you guys yeah yeah our patreon guest episodes uh by the way everybody listening ron funch's never played before came in he was so fucking awesome great it was so fun yeah one of the funniest guys out there a pleasure to have him around just the sweetest dude like he and i i love being around him uh you notice two things with that 18 danny the monk you notice there's the sounds of what sounds like two of those large gorilla creatures just tearing each other limb from limb like some sort of weird infighting rituals happening on the ground below

but it's you know it's very far away it's on the ground level of the jungle and it just sounds like sort of jungle white noise for a while uh you also yeah it sounds like my neighborhood have i shared the the coyotes i know blaine's heard it i used to hear it in but i uh oh it's bad i go in my backyard backyard and I record. It's like maniacal screaming. Yeah. And you'll hear them pray. Pray? I know you mean with an E, but what a visual I got for a second there. Oh, I was walking my dogs late recently.

And I don't really do that, because I have to go further up the hill with my dogs. To the moors. Where the coyotes are, where they live. And we heard them feeding, and my dogs looked at me like, what the fuck? Yeah, they heard another dog die. That's why we used to go around the yard and pee in the corners. I walk in the evenings

and there's coyotes. I've been within 10 feet of coyote once a week. Especially for some reason in the last month. They just are strolling down the sidewalk constantly. We had cats when we first moved here, but we never let our cats outside. We don't let our dogs

outside at night. Even though one is 100 pounds. Anyway. I love it up there at night. I feed on coyotes. Oh. Yeah. They don't expect it. That's where I get them.

Blaine, your name's a coyote vampire. Back in. Yeah. The other thing you notice, Danny, is you notice after a couple hours um the octopus princess is just kind of like sighing with with uh some kind of breath yeah quote unquote octopus princess brian just did the air quotes um and uh after a while it kind of like snuggles up next to Nathan and like puts a tentacle over oh no

so so that's gonna make the best t-shirt oh boy who said they were next on watch me I think Ken was.

So you kick 2D awake with your foot and with your feet. I told him I didn't hear anything but the gorilla creature's down there fighting. It was eerie. Oh, you don't tell him about Nathan's

little octopus situation. Oh no, I do. I look over and I kind of give him a like, Danny kind of raises his eyebrows like, get a load of those two. Can't fight love.

Roll that perception check, will ya? You can do it on D&D Beyond. Okay, let's see. It's fun. Ready? Rolled one earlier. That's a whiner.

Oof. Yeah. So three total, but... Ouchy-wouchy, right? So you don't notice as much this time. You definitely hear white noise from the jungle and nothing unusual happening.

That's it. Well, everything's fine then. Yeah, good job. Great. And it's time to wake up, everybody. You've got full hit points and no more status effects. Cool. Grigsby is a little bummed out. He realizes he's got to go

back without his buddy, Tuco. He knows it's going to be upsetting for the city council. They've lost one of their better rangers. But, uh, when we head back, Blazacola, you coming with? You want to hang out just for a minute here while we chat with the princess and then maybe decide where

you're going? Oh, sure a minute here while we chat with the princess and then maybe decide where you're going oh sure sure have your chat hey dan is tuco from better call saul um that is a character on both better call saul and breaking bad oh breaking bad too yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but that is but it's also from a listener um that is okay tuco was named uh by lich please oh oh nice um i feel like nathan has more of a bond now so nathan maybe if you can gently be direct you know get just be like we don't care what your physical form is but we'd like a little more honesty as we set out on this trip. I will sort of take her aside quietly and be like, could I be honest with you for a moment? And on that note, we'll find out what they say on the next episode of nerd poker.

Oh, Sam is shirtless in a Luka door mask. Everybody. nerd poker. Oh! Yeah! Sam is shirtless in a lucador mask, everybody. Episode 26, we met a princess who might be an octopus. It's either good or bad. We don't really know.

Other than that, I can't really think of anything in the last hour worth writing down. Just one of those classic forgettable nerd poker apps, you know? Oh, man. We should have listeners send in some oil. Not sure what you mean.

Please don't. Why? I don't think you can send massage oil to a P.O. box. I think that's a good thought. Delivered in person, though. That's what I'm saying. Hey, everybody. Please check out the book that I've got coming out later this year

for the Netflix show, The Dragon Prince. I've helped write a book called The Tales of Zadia. X-A-D-I-A. That's at tales of zadia.com you can pre-order and there's also a public play test that i wrote that's about 45 pages long um it's got some cool original art and brand new canon it's like the characters i made up are canon and shit so please check that out i would love if you played that game. I do stand up on Fridays on Twitch. Awesome. I have, you know, my regular show, Grandpa's Metal Stash.

But also go to your comic book shops because we just did this 30th anniversary Deadpool. And it's me and Jerry Duggan don't forget about Jerry and Scott Koblish who also did some of our Deadpool run came back and did a five pager with us but there's a bunch of great

guys artists and writers Daniel Way, Gail Simone Joe Kelly Rob Liefeld Fabian the creators and they all came back and did pages in this

issue it's going to be really fun and for me it's like writing Deadpool is one of the best things I've ever done I love it sounds like a fun character I hope he goes places yeah he's he's an up and comer I love it. So it's a, it sounds like a fun character. I hope he goes places. Yeah. He's, he's a,

he's a, um, up and comer. He's a scrappy, he's a scrappy guy. I think he's going to stick around. Maybe get an X for him someday. 30 more years.

Yeah. Yeah. Uh, cheers. Uh, Oh, Blaine, what's going on with you?

Um, and, uh, you know, the kitchenator. Oh, uh, Stacy Keach going on with you? And, you know, the Keechinator. Oh, Stacy Keech? Yo, yo. We leave next week.

We're shooting the Silmarillion in New Zealand with Peter Jackson for the next eight and a half years. Oh, wow. So Stacy plays, I play Silmarillion, and Stacey Keats plays my dad. And we're like button heads. Have you read it? Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm going to read it on the plane.

That might be the funniest thing I've heard. Holy shit. I love you, Blaine. Thanks for listening, everybody. Thanks for listening to another episode of Nerd Poker. You can follow us at patreon.com slash nerdpoker, and you get bonus episodes from there. And you can also send us anything at P.O. Box 16069,

Encino, California, 91416. Thanks for listening.