Nerd Poker - S4E44 Flood Physics

Episode Date: July 13, 2021

Our Castaway Cuties have worked out a solution to the puzzle of the underwater dead-end tower, so surely the dungeon master has some very fair physics in mind. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Everything's fine. This is fine.

Hey everybody, I'm Brian Pouss. Comedian, writer, actor, nerd. I've been playing D&D with my friends for a long time. I decided to do a new podcast where we play Dungeons & Dragons in my very own dining room. With my wife, kid, and my noisy dogs. So meet my friends... Sarah Kev Dan

Clay Chris Now it's time for another episode of Brian Possehn's Nerd Poker. Season 4. Hey everybody, I'm Brian Possehn. You're listening to Brian Possehn's Nerd Poker. Episode 44. We did it.

Made it to 44. Let's see if we make it to 45. My friends are here. Look at them. Sarah's back. Remember when she wasn't here and life sucked? If you were listening to bonus episodes. If you're a Patreon listener, you know.

I have not missed a regular. There she is, though. Hello, Sarah. Hello, it's me. Are you so glad to have me back i even like that character whatever you do whatever you're bringing tonight we like it yeah that agatha the bird that's that's what that is for now uh dan's here that's him talking oh hi everyone hello brian hey uh ken yes well hello. How are you? Look at that microphone.

Wow. It's a fat one. Yeah. Chris is here. Hi, Brian. How are you? Hey, buddy. I'm good.

Good. We saw the dumbest movie ever last night, me and Chris. That's right. Fast nine. Woo. Family. Blaine's here. Family.

Oh, look at him. Hey, hi. Hey, buddy. What's happening? dungeons and dragons tonight live right now here on the air uh and can't forget him i've always feel bad when i do i've done it maybe twice ever is it more than that sam key for everybody look at hello sweet children yeah yeah buddy and ramen we know you're there ramen we see you ramen one of us is farting that's why he's trying to get away yeah it's not great uh dan are you thankful for things oh my gosh i sure. It's not November, but that's never stopped me. I'm going to go ahead and thank some Patreon supporters

that are HeyBoss and StargoyleTiers over on the old Patreon. They go by usernames like JuniperBeef's quote-unquote Skin Journal. Thanks. Thank you, Joseph Zabaygan. Thank you, Gamorian Ork.

Thank you, Scott Parker. Thank you, Danny's Unaygan. Thank you. Thank you, Gamorian Ork. Thank you, Scott Parker. Thank you, Danny's Uncanny Granny Fanny. Thank you. Thank you, Prime Material Blaine. Thank you, Ziggy Kielmeister. Thank you. Thank you, Blaine Kapach Presents Son of a Beach. It's Stacy Keech.

Oh, man. It's still on the shelf. Thank you, Nicholas Grimmel. Thank you. Thanks, Corbin Owens. Thank you, Smurfette's Conspicuous Bulge. Thank you, Big Angry. Thanks, Kugelbear.

Thanks, Terry's estranged wife's divorce lawyer who is also fucking her and his kids call him dad. Woo. True story. Thank you, Stefan.

Jack Stefan. All caps on Stefan. And a lot of A's in that Jack. So I knew how the windup was supposed to go. Thank you. Singing in the pain. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you, Rob. That to go. Thank you. Singing in the pain. Thank you. Thank you, Rob. That's it. Thank you. I am 49 years old and from New Jersey. I therefore understand almost every reference you guys make, especially Blaine. Almost doing a lot of heavy lifting in that. Thank you.

Sean, it's pronounced Sean Eisenhammer. Thank you, Sean. It's pronounced Sean Eisenhammer. Thank you. That was it. C-E-A-N-N. Thank you, Sean Dixon. Thank you, Saga Nadal. Thank you, Alan Wofford.

Thank you, Butt Ruckus. And finally, thank you, Blaine. Who are those patrons brought to us by? I'm asking you a question. This is not a name. Answer me you Blaine who are those patrons brought to us by I'm asking you a question this is not a name answer me Blaine well Dan our Patreons are brought to us tonight by

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this is a real gravity's blame bow just narrowing that niche target down to one person in blame well to one person in Blaine. Well, there is a slight pause in the conversation, so you know what that means. It's time for what happened last time

in the old nerd poker. The castaway cuties decided to take the hammer of Bahamut down a mystery tunnel for a couple of miles and then up a mystery tunnel for a couple of miles and then up a mystery tower for 20 flights of stairs or so and finding

a dead end at the top of the tower they figured what the hell let's poke a hole in the roof and see what happens right now the chamber at the top of the tower is quickly filling with water as they begin to float. Tootie, however, still kind of standing at the bottom underwater,

holding a 250-pound hammer with a statue of a dwarf's broken-off arm still clasping its handle. We bring you to the still-not- because they've got a few hours left on their water breathing cast away cuties already in progress so uh yeah i did the math as promised over group text and you guys if you include it took you a

few hours to swim to the middle of the lake and then uh like 20 minutes or so to swim to the bottom of the lake uh the hours you spent swimming down the blackened tunnel and like not quite an hour but about an hour ish going up 20 flights of stairs and trying to figure out if a grendel-esque creature was stalking you you guys are down about six hours from your 24 hours on a water breathing spell. So yeah, you're not in bad shape.

And I will just tell you that all your characters by now have done some version of that math and figure, the lake's floor provided there wasn't say I don't know a trench or an obstacle or a sea monster we could probably walk to the shore but it would probably take longer than the swim so if you just sort of google maps

it in your heads a little bit I think you would assume it would take at least you know four hours to walk back, but could easily be more if there's anything complicated. Yeah, right now there's about 10 feet of water and

you're running out of water fast. I'm going to have you all do a perception check. You're running out of air fast, which of course you don't need to breathe but when the air is gone you'll be you know some of you will be buoyant enough to go out the hole if it fills normally yeah

what's your perception checks everybody 17 let me see high 17 from Iva high 17 from Iva high 17 from Iva big 11 from 2D gonna go ahead to the bottom of the line with that one

I will stand behind him if you will Dan with my 5 we've got Nathan a rabbit not used to trying to listen to things underwater and Danny where are you at with your perception check okay so we've got Iva in the lead with 17. Iva!

You hear a from deep in the water below you and you're like, Is that my neighbors? Well, yeah. It sounds like whatever was stalking you on the stairs is now pounding on the door. You know there was just a metal latch

stopping it from being open and it tried to lock you in there the yeah it's it seems like the water pressure is stopping the door or at least the latch from right being able to slide open so it's it probably has that probably has tried and you can tell this to everybody it probably has tried to undo the latch but it's like wait why is all this weight on it all of a, and you can tell this to everybody, it probably has tried to undo the latch, but it's like, wait, why is all this weight on it all of a sudden? And it couldn't pull the latch open, and now it's banging on it. Okay, so we need to get out the hole, right? As soon as possible?

Yep. Which is still pretty high up. And I think Nathan was gonna cast, or did he already, the shrinking on the hammer? Remember? Yeah, I think last time i said to dan that i would like it was my thing i would like to do next yeah so the hope is that and then i think we're like we had lashed ourselves to the wall so uh jelf was untying us and then hopefully it'll be small enough that we can drag it out and we can all swim out the hole yeah and i want to be clear as my zoom name implies i've done some very careful physics

homework on everything that's happening right now because you guys have set up a very interesting situation but this is all a fantasy yeah um is there is there any um anything to like slide over the door to like make it harder you know if the water or no that's what's what's tough most of the stuff that was floating here like bones body parts deteriorated skin straw it's all starting to flow the only things down at the bottom of the water right now are the silverware and table settings, which, you know, not too heavy, just heavy enough not to float. Okay, well, I say we just hurry then, right? Let's make our...

Yeah, I mean, right now, it's only a couple feet away. The water's still... It's really rising. It's really rising. I'm going to have everybody do another perception check. Okay.

As the water has risen another five feet and you're almost able to just swim right out the hole where all this water is gushing in. I'll remind you that the roof is magically reinforced. Is it on fire? No. So you don't have to let the motherfucker burn.

We certainly don't need no water. Hey, I got an 11 Dan Chris you almost said a number 19 what did you get Brian? 13 13 okay big fat fucking 6 big fat fucking 6

needed an 18 for this one only Nathan hears this at the edge of what his little bunny ears are able to catch you hear a dog barking hi dog Only Nathan hears this at the edge of what his little bunny ears are able to catch. You hear a dog barking. My dog. Yes, your dog.

Congratulations. That's the end of the adventure. No. You hear this very deep... Like coming from under the water you're currently floating in. That's a monster. Come from under the water? Uh-huh.

Like, right around where the pounding was coming from before, but it's a little deeper and louder. Remember that monster that shut us in here? Oh, I do. I'm just trying to... Nathan, this is just for you, because you got a high enough perception check. Please do an insight check

to see if you can piece together what's going on. Absolutely. We have to get out of here before these guys open that door because all this water will suck us down to the bottom. Natural 20, Dan! Oh, that's what you needed! Hey, I did it!

Oh, you guys are so lucky with the rolls here. You put it together. By the way, just for keeping track, did you cast shrink together by the way just for for for keeping tracks did you cast uh shrinkage on the hammer yet uh i told you that was my next thing to do i don't know when i get to do something okay i'll let you decide right now did nathan do it before or after that noise uh i mean my intention was as soon as i got the door down and the water flowing in

my next thought is yeah to shrink the hammer you've had about a minute of water going up so yeah i would definitely have done then you shrink the hammer hold on i can only do it for a minute so i'm waiting until i feel like there's a then you would have just done it still because it feels like within the next 60 seconds the water is going to reach the hole and you can swim out yeah waiting until i feel like there's a then you would have just done it still because it feels like within the next 60 seconds the water is going to reach the hole and you can swim out yeah just trying to get us out that hole so you've and it gets past that point you're like okay any second uh you think that groaning noise with that 20 on your insight check um you think it was the the wooden floor oh you think it's beginning wooden floor. Oh,

you think it's beginning to buckle from the weight of the water. Let's get out of here. And it's either going to split or break free of whatever's holding it in place. Any second. Oh, go, go, go,

go, go. I'm going to grab onto Danny. I will. If I, if my mouth is above the surface, I will communicate that to everybody, but I will definitely grab onto Danny. If my mouth is above the surface, I will communicate that to everybody, but I will definitely grab onto

something. Does 2D seem... As soon as you grab me, I make it... When it's shrunk, can I pick it up now? Is it floating with it shrunk? Yeah, it's shrunk and you're all floating right now. Okay, great. Let's go.

I heard Nathan's grabbing Danny. What's Danny doing? I point to the top and start to make swim motion for everybody. It's about three feet up, so none of you quite have long enough arms to just jump and grab it, but it's like inches away. Okay. Let's go. Just waiting for it to...

The second it's there, we're going. You're waiting? Well, I mean, do we have any other option yeah you can try to like yeah you can try to use your mountaineering gear to get up there let's do that but i'm counting i've got a timer wait isn't like the floor is breaking you think if you know i understand but i'm just saying isn't there i would assume there's a insane amount force of water coming through like we can't like pull ourselves past through it you know trying to it's not impossible but you

do think that you could try and if you if you had an amazing athletics check you could get a hook in there all right Danny I'll try hook hook let's hear it Danny what'd you get uh rolling right

now uh it's probably good Hook! Let's hear it, Danny. What'd you get? Rolling right now. It's probably good. The roll itself was 17, and I think my bonus is 5 or 6. I heard your bonus was a 69. High five. Up top.

Was that athletics yes sir okay it's i'm sorry it's a three but still acrobatics is or was it acrobatics or athletics it was athletics okay athletics acrobatics is five athletics is three so 17 320 yep you just barely get the hook of it in there climbing grabbing reaching leaving let's go yeah let's go you all have just enough time to grab

Danny and the rope and cling to each other before doom and the water and and the floor all just smashed down the 20 flights of spiral stairs. It's

utter chaos underneath you as you all struggle to cling. I'm going to need an athletics check of 10. Just hang in here like the Goonies. 14. And we're good enough. 20. Yeah, easy.

I heard a 20 from Iva, an 18 from Danny. I missed what you asked for, Dan. Athletics check, difficulty check of 10. 14. I got a 9. Plus one that I didn't need. All right.

Nope. Everyone beat it except nathan yeah i'm gonna reach out for him when i see him slip um you know what i'm gonna be the world's coolest dungeon master and i'm gonna say that because nathan you declared you were already grabbing

danny yeah before this happened i'm gonna let you roll with advantage oh thanks yes i'm gonna grabbing Danny. Yeah. Before this happened, I'm going to let you roll with advantage. Oh, thanks. Yes. I'm going to keep that nine, Dan. I'm going to keep that nine because the other one is worse. Okay, so you were holding Danny really tight, but the suction

of 17 feet of water dropping, you just go, and as you all brace yourselves and grab Nathan goes down into

the swirling water I hate it no no no I grab him oh that's great he's safe because you grabbed him I'm gonna try you all needed to make that both your hands trying to save yourself. So, Danny, there's three seconds here where you see it happen.

And you see Nathan, he's now underneath everybody hanging onto this rope like this. You make a sort of vertical chain. And Nathan is under the person at the bottom. What I'm going to say is Iva, uh, Danny, you're at the top and he fell down from you,

but he's still on the rope. Danny is the Nathan is not. Nathan is tumbling into the spiraling water below. Somebody cast fly on him or something. Do you have fly anyone? I do not. What if I drove a cool sports car

up the side of the tower? Oh my god, yes. The end of Greece. Why don't you just fly up into... Is it a muscle car? Yeah. It's a souped up muscle car? Yeah, and Nathan's now at the end of the story it's sexy Nathan

so he's wearing like tight leather pants and he's got big sexy lipstick oh wow cast Michelle Rodriguez on yourselves please I'm holding on pretty hard but would I be able to shoot a grasping arrow near him

shoot a grasping remind us how grasping remind us how grasping arrow works the grasping arrow is uh uh it uh uh it takes it's anything it hits something and then brambles come out and grab you and slow you

uh it's like an attack where it just makes vines come up out of it makes yeah makes vines come up out of the ground and it grabs opponents and stuff if i shot shot it near him, if I could maybe give him something to grab onto. Interesting. Interesting. I'm looking up the exact language on the old D&D Beyond for Arcane Archer here. So just for listeners, Grasping Arrow. When this arrow strikes its target,

Conjuration Magic creates Grasping Poisonous Brambles, which wrap around the target. The creature hit by the arrow takes some poison damage, speed reduced by 10. Any creature that can reach it can use its action to remove Brambles.

Unfortunately, it looks like all it would do if you hit him with the arrow he would get covered in brambles that spring forth from the arrow but he wouldn't get stuck to a wall they don't like spring out of a wall and brace him or anything like that yeah i thought i could get it into a wall near him and they would just reach out and attack him that way or give him at least something to... It's really the wall or him, unfortunately. Can I... Well, what if I scramble along our friends and grab him?

The thing is, this is not the way the physics work. He got pulled while you were saving yourself. Right. He's already fallen. You can't scramble faster than he's fallen. I just feel like Princess Caspi is going to definitely go after him, and she's going to be the strongest swimmer and

able to keep them. You know what I mean? She's a native. Okay. She loves him. I assume. Yeah, she loves him yeah she loves him she's gonna well you can you can pray but uh i'm not gonna tell you what princess cosby does until i listen to everyone else uh tell me if there's tell me their ideas for what they're gonna do and i'm giving you a lot of time i think i think it's only a fraction of a moment i mean i will take as it's happening i guess i will take if i can, I will try to put a like a thing into the mountaineering thing into the wall to be able to throw down an additional rope down.

Yeah, like you can you can take like a grappling hook and rope and just whip it at him. And that'll be that'll be faster than trying to climb down and grab him. Somebody said, OK, I mean, yeah, I was in the bottom and she said she's doing it. So I'm going to give you an athletics check. Actually, I'll let you choose athletics or survival because you are using survival gear. Doesn't matter. So I will just pick athletics.

Ask for an 18. Oh, shit. Wait, not quite. Did you tell me what you, if you were going to tell me that I would use a luck point. So I would, you know what I mean? I did. I was going to tell you that it's an 18. 18 yes i said it just at the same time as you i will use a luck point to try to make it work luck point a lady tonight i've got the exact same roll so it didn't um okay nathan i use my last luck point Can I? No Yeah Iva

Are you using another one? I think I can only use one is that true or false What is your I have three but can I use them on the same roll You can use luck anything as many times as you want I'm showing that you just do it You can spend one to roll an additional D20 you choose

Which die to use doesn't say whether i could then do it keep doing it um i what's what's the exact wording can you read it to me it doesn't say do it more than one well look the truth is that i already did it and it didn't make it so no tell

me i need to let me hear the exact wording uh you have three luck points per long rest whenever you make an attack roll, ability check, or saving throw, you can spend one to roll an additional d20. Whenever you make a check, you can spend one. Unfortunately, whenever you make a check, you can spend

one. Well, thank God, because I rolled it when I thought I could use it. I'll throw you guys a bone. You can all try to dive after him and grab him midair and like hook onto something or you could cast a spell but I'm about to close the window on you guys doing something in this moment

I feel like I wasn't clear about like I was trying to basically create a different hanging rope situation for her for Caspia and Nathan to grab onto do you know what I'm saying i he's already fallen i wasn't trying to catch him as he fell he's that's what i thought you're gonna do

no i was trying to like basically create a rope ladder like a hanging rope for them to grab onto that then they will be able to ascend that was my what i meant by like attaching something to the wall and then yeah that's kind of what I thought was happening. Well, maybe I didn't make it with the 16 anyway, but just to be clear that that's what I was attempting to do. I probably would have given you the same. That would be pretty hard to do. I mean, think of it.

The floor is dropping down this pit with the water. There's 17 feet of water, but it's right below Nathan and Float. If he lands in it, the water is still falling in. Well, not very fast. You guys are hundreds of

feet up this tower. That water is first going to fall hundreds of feet before it becomes soft. That means Nathan is probably going to fall hundreds of feet. If Nathan can grab the wall. Well, we're going to fall hundreds of feet. If Nathan can grab the wall. Well, we're going to get to that probably.

I mean, that's kind of what I do. All right. Last for Danny Jelf and Tootie. Nathan, you see Iva throw a mountaineering hook into the wall but the rope just dangles out of Nathan's reach.

You guys have one last chance to tell me what you're doing. And he's too far away to grab. Yeah. He's again, think of it. It's like Danny. I'm at the top side. There's no way I can get him.

It's like Danny, a little gap where Nathan was just holding on to Danny. 2d. Jelf. Iva, with Caspia kind of in the middle somewhere, and I'm about to say what she does. Nathan underneath all of you by about a foot. I have so much faith in her.

Can I grab the rope that she's got, attach it to the 50 feet of rope that I've got, and attach that rope to our rope so that it lowers... I mean, maybe if you swing back and forth, you could do it in the span of 60 seconds, but by that time Nathan will have met the bottom of the tower.

So that's not possible. Oh, it's not? No. Oh, okay. You've got split seconds here, not time to reach out and pull over and tie a knot. Well, I'm going to cast Sanctuary on him at least. Aww!

Remind us what Sanctuary is going to do for him. You ward a creature within range against attack until the spell ends. Any creature who targets the warded creature within attack or harmful spell must first make a wisdom saving throw. Well, there you go. On a failed save, the creature must choose a new target or lose the attack.

As you cast Sanctuary on your falling bunny friend, Princess Caspia cries out, No! And lets go and dives after him. Oh dear. I knew it. So she is going to Nathan, you're going to owe her big time.

Suck her under the wall. Nathan, you tumble past your friends another five feet. Are you doing anything? Am I doing anything? What can I do? Right now, you're head over fluffy tail. I think if I can, I would try and grab a hold of wall or floor or stairs anything i can get my little pause you can try to right yourself and aim yourself at the

stairs right now you're in the mid you're you're kind of in the middle but you're a little off to the side because this was a conical roof and you were kind of like off to the side of the cone okay um so you are about two feet from being able to reach the stairwell okay uh i can have you do an athletics check and i'm also having princess cosby do an athletics check to grab you danny's praying too cool uh religion check danny okay uh princess cosia rolled a 17. Cool. As Nathan's tumbling, his magic kicks in. He's like, I've seen this happen before.

And he's going to use his portent to give himself an 18 on his athletics in an attempt to grab a hold of something. Wow. All right. Right before you reach out with your bunny paws, you feel some very squishy fingers wrap around your midsection. And you manage to get your fingers on the lip of the stairwell, but you're falling with extreme force. Prejudice. So I'm going to need you to do another athletics check to hold on

to the side of the stairs as you slam into it. My prayer guide is 16. Alright, unfortunately that's not going to be enough to summon some religious assistants. Can I add his 16 to my roll? No. Can I play to Muhammad? That'd be a fun game.

I'm going to need a 12 here, Chris. 16. Damn, okay. okay well you are going to take uh 2d6 bludgeoning damage as you slam into the stone stairs because you're because you are grabbing it right but your body is still going from being at a 90 degree angle to slamming into the stairs as you grab it tight. So many physics. Okay. Eight points. Bludgeoning. Copy. Princess Cospi is now going to

roll to hang on to you as she slams into the stairs. She botches oh christ and just as you grab slam into it you feel the fingers just pull away wait I don't understand what that means

she fell she had it shit why does Dan hate true love so much I know but you guys during this whole She fell? She had it. Shit. Yeah. Shit. Why does Dan hate true love so much? I know. But you guys, during this whole thing, Dan has an erection.

Hey! Gross! Dan, tell me about it. Ew. He just has to pee. It's not any kind of... No! I have to explain this to my kids. This is going to be horrible.

I couldn't believe that no one commented on the shrinkage of the hammer. No one made any jokes. Everyone just let it go. Shrink the shrinkage of the water. And then now we go straight to here. It's remarkable. Nathan, you pull yourself onto the stairs and there's just this cacophony of smashing and splashing as the

water cascades over the stairs and eventually it smacks into the floor. Oh god! What did you think was happening? You were implying that her death, her brutal death was... By the time you realize she grabbed you and slipped

off, you're not able to look over your shoulder so you don't see princess or know what happened to her none of you can it's too far of a drop and you're all focused on Nathan trying to grab and you think for a second princess is grabbing on Nathan's back

but then she just kind of disappears from view do we see a wily coyote puff of smoke thing? Nope. Sadly, there is no sign of her. I mean, the water might cushion her fall, guys. The water will... 17 feet of water will beat

her the several hundred feet down that she's falling before she hits it. God damn. Oh, God. I want to jump off this rope so bad. You're all hanging under the rope. Nathan, you are about two flights down. And you look up, you see your friends dangling with the hook right where the water is pouring in.

Right now, you guys are waving back and forth, occasionally hitting the water that's falling straight down and kind of being bounced out a little bit as you collide with the water is this a bad time to try to get more rope down to him do I

have time now Nathan are you walking up the stairs to your friends what is between is it just the top of the stairs to where the there used to be yeah there used to be a there's still landing there a little stone landing um there's no longer a ladder going up or a floor so there is about 17 feet between that little landing and where your friends are dangling. You can obviously... Maybe I'll just hang...

I'll get so I'm no longer hanging off and just sort of be on the stairs. But I think I'm just going to hold my position until I let Jelf or the gang figure out how to lower something down and then I'll move. This is me tying a thing, my rope

to Iva's rope and lowering those two and securing them with my elf rope skills. So you tie those ropes together. Doesn't feel super hard to just get it all together. You guys managed to combine your ropes into something you could dangle down to Nathan.

Cool. Is it close? Yeah, you can get it. It's just dangling in front of you now. Great. Yeah, then I'll climb up. What do we see below us now? Water is rushing down, but it's going really far. It's going to take probably

I don't know, at least 20 minutes or more for the tower to sort of fill back up jesus unless we get if we get out of here and then we can manage somehow to destroy the the tower but but yeah i think we gotta we have to get through this hole that was what yeah wait for this thing to pressure now is the pressure too much for us to get through? That's what I was thinking before. You feel it. And it is.

Yeah. Like, I mean, it is just gushing with like, like waterfall level speed. So like you can get your arm in there, but the pressure pushes you away from it. And the rope starts again.

It swings wildly away from it. Every time you try to make contact with the spout of water, you, you can try to climb up. And as you climb up, you're try to make contact with the spout of water. You can try to climb up and as you climb up, you're going to start dipping into the water, but that's going to be a lot more strength to hold on to the rope

as you start to become enveloped in the water spout. Let's just get secured as best we can so that we don't fall. Nathan, you're grabbing the extended rope with them now? Or are you still on that concrete? Or not concrete.

That doesn't exist in Fantasy Town. You're on that stone landing at the top of the Sparrow Staircase. Made of the finest dwarven stones. Yeah. So we're just going to wait 20 minutes for it to pressurize? I guess. Does that seem about how long it would take, Dan, for the... I mean, you're thinking at least.

I'm just giving you a rough estimate because you guys have not done the sort of aqua engineering it would require to guess how far up you walked. We could try to. The only thing is I have that one... There's like a crazy sword or something that does the prismatic spray or something like that we could try to like basically bust open the magic that's holding the rest of the roof to speed it up but i feel like it's probably that's gonna create new problems so maybe we should wait if we're if we're relatively stable we should just wait for this

bathtub to fill up it's gonna take forever take forever. And then see where we are. How are everybody's hit points? Okay. Does anybody need a heal? Or we could, in theory, short rest for an hour as this thing fills up. We can't leave anyways. Well, we're like hanging on a... I don't know if we can. Can we short rest?

I thought the rope kind of came down to where I was. Could you guys climb down and kind of sit here on the stairs and we short rest for an hour? If people need it? I don't know if people get things back with a short rest. Maybe not. You'd have to be able to get everybody on the landing. They're still kind of dangling

17 feet above the landing. I'm not going to be able to sleep, you guys. They could climb down the rope, but you'd have to help them. But you can, and you're the one who needs the hit points. So why don't you do that? Okay. We'll wake you up when the water starts to overtake you. I think short rest

is more sort of like binding wounds. I don't think there's sleeping going on. I think it's more to sort of... No, no, you can use a hit die, though. Yeah, and I think I get some stuff back as a wizard. Okay. On a short rest, sure. Oh, yeah, because the hammer would be big again. Shit, that's gonna be

large again. But I guess he's in the air again, but now he's holding on to a... I can give you hit points for my hit pool if you want that, too. Whatever you want. I'm fine either way. I think one of the things I get as a wizard on a short rest is I can regain some spell slots.

Like we need them for when the water comes back up. But I'm just thinking now that hammer is going to get extremely heavy in like two seconds. So we need to get it. Yeah, it's a concentration spell. And just in the amount of time it's taken Nathan to get to the top of stairs, you guys know it's going to wear off any second. Can I toss the hammer over under the stairs? Yeah, you can do that. I will.

Heads up, Nathan. Do an athletics check to get it near Nathan and not have it bounce. And kill Nathan? No, no. Well, the biggest danger is much like if you threw a pebble seven feet, 17 feet down,

it could just go boing and fall down the same hole that Caspia seems to. This is a, it's 35 pounds now you said, so it's not as, it's not tiny. Yeah. All right. Sure. Bounce too.

Yeah, that's exactly. Athletics. Yeah. All right. Come on, on ken nathan you see he's about to throw the the hammer are you going to try and catch it or step out of the way i will not catch it dan i am not that dumb are you sure okay yeah please roll that check that was it you're right i'll catch it with my mouth that was was a 10. Can I use a lucky? You sure can. Okay.

I think I need to. Oh my fucking god. A 9. So I have 7 point bonus and I got a 10 and a 9. Oh, a 10. So it goes, you kind of like chuck it. Nathan, you see

it land right next to you right at the edge. It goes like and just kind of like chuck it. Nathan, you see it land right next to you, right at the edge. It goes like, and just kind of like lean. I'll put my hand I'll grab it. That'll be an athletic check from Nathan. You do better than me, buddy. 18.

Oh, Nathan, your wiry, rapid frame manages to wrap itself around this grief-stricken, soaking wet frame. Yeah. As you drag the hammer onto the landing, you hear a howling screech

from below that seems to echo up the tower, and the hammer expands back into its original size. It doesn't unconnect it, but as you see

what you expected to happen, the hammer going back to its original size and weight, you hear a scream from down below that you've never heard before. Like a monster. Yeah, very upset. Got knocked down the stairs, monster. Is the water...

We can't see even the... Do you have like a trans... Oh, what do you want to see, Sarah? I just wondered how... Yeah, can we see how far the water level rising? I was going to, I don't have a light.

It seems like it's definitely filling up, but you can't tell if it's halfway 25%, 75%. Does anybody have a light spell? It's not, it's not so much. Yeah. Well,

I thought that we could do a, throw a big chunk of something down, lit up, and then maybe potentially see it hit or hear it sure so let me see i could light a torch and toss it down oh yeah i have a torch i will light a torch with my tinderbox and light a torch and toss it down it goes down at least you know at least like halfway before it disappears. Maybe it's about halfway. Maybe a little less. Cool. Well now we wait.

We'll see if her body floats back up or maybe she emerges triumphantly you know having defeated a monster and won Nathan's hand. She's probably made dives this

long before. Nathan, you're resting? Are you using any hit dice? Am I allowed to do such a thing? How long are you resting? Well, it would be a short rest, so however long that would be. An hour, I guess, is the shortest short rest. Yeah,

I think you would intuitively go oh if i wait a full hour it might be too long well that's uh that's all i got all right i'm gonna throw some heels on you then well you can just start the short rest and then we see how long because we're basically just waiting until the water gets closer is the point right so yeah maybe it will and maybe it won't be too long. Right. Okay. I will start a short rest. I mean, I'm asking Dan, I guess,

is that, I mean, I'm sorry, not Dan, the flooded tower physics professor. You have to, yeah. You're like using a healing kit,

right. Um, to, to use a hit dice, a healing kit. So like, I'll allow you to, you need,

you need, I think to use a, to, I think, to use a... No, yeah, you can use it. You don't have to wait the full hour. You can just use it. Okay. Short rest. How's that look?

Let me see what my hit dice are. Six plus three. Five. Okay, I will use one hit die. And as part of my features and traits, once per day when you finish a short rest, I will do arcane recovery. I can recover up to a combined level of three spell slots.

So I'm going to recover... Let's see. I guess I'll recover one second level. Okay. And one... I'll leave it at one first level. That's what I will do. And Nathan, down at the bottom,

since you're the one who's got the best angle on the water coming up, can you do a perception check for me? Yes. Ooh, probably not great. I got rolled an eight, and with my bonus, 11. All right.

Yeah, don't notice anything unusual about the water but you do see it's rising and it's just about to hit you it's it takes a long time i don't see any cospia possibly like treading water or smiling or anything like that no water is eerily uh devoid of life at the moment. Just a flat, broken tentacle. But a teaspoon of it holds so much life, Dan. Take a look at this microscope. Look at that. Plankton, algae, a volvox. Rotifers.

And conifers. Nathan, I take it you're going to start treading water yeah is the water now rising above the steps it's finally starting and it's still full of just shattered wood and like it's churning with stuff it's completely covered in

then I'll go ahead and start I'll just climb up the rope to be with everybody else so we don't want to forget our pickup, the hammer. So I guess, again, when it gets very close to where we're going to be able to go through the hole, it's all close to the hole. Here's what sucks. What? About 20 feet beneath where all of you are dangling, there is the rope that goes down.

Right now, the hammer is starting to get covered in water and it weighs 250 pounds yeah so but that's fine because we're gonna wait until everything's full okay it's not gonna move right it's weighs 250 pounds it's not the water is not gonna move it and so then then basically my thought is 2d will swim down and Nathan will cast shrinkage on it and then grab the hammer. Dan's got a gonna kill us look on his face.

I don't know what you're talking about. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You're gonna kill us. I mean, if we see the hammer start to move at all, then obviously that plan will change. I think as soon as the the hammer start to move at all, then obviously that plan will change. I think as soon as the water gets up to us, this thing is going to, there's going to be tentacles and teeth.

Sure. So the water covers the hammer, the water starts covering the rope and then the rope starts to float on top of all the wood. And as you see a couple of bones sticking out of it, that are from, he's got to go down there, right? From the monster is there. Whoever's strongest Tootie's gotta go down there, right? From the monster's lair. Whoever's strongest, yeah.

I'll swim down there. And it's just about to cover you and get all the way to the hole. You guys are now... Tootie's swimming down. You're being lifted. Tootie, you're gonna dive down? Yeah. Alright. Tootie, you push through the mess and you start to swim down.

Do a perception check, please, to see through the darkened water. Where there is no sunlight. What is their love? 18. Yeah, you see the hammer. It's hard because there's still a bunch of just crap floating

in this water. It's just sitting there. We can start walking up the stairs. It's at the top of the stairs. Oh, okay. Nathan has to cast Trinky. Nathan's pretty much got to come swim down there with you. I can cast it from 30 feet away,

which is what I will do. Alright, you cannot quite see through the water at the top. All of you, in fact, realize as the water fills up completely now, the top of the tower is filled with garbage. Completely filled

and it's not magically sealed, but it's covering the hole that the water was coming in now because it floated to the top. You can move it aside, but it's just tons of shit everywhere. Not literal shit, but detritus and garbage and junk.

You've got to swim down a little bit, Nathan, to see them. You cast. And as it shrinks, I'm going to have you and Tootie do a perception check. Alright. Another 18.

Oh. And I got a five. Nathan, you managed to cast it, but you don't quite see this. 2D, as the hammer shrinks in your hands, you see something move over your shoulder and as you turn your hand to the left you see two

bright yellow glowing eyes just open up as you feel a hand go over your hand on the hammer and start pulling it away from you and on that note oh dear we'll find out what is trying to take the hammer and start pulling it away from you. And on that note, we'll find out what is trying to take the hammer away from

Tootie on the next NerdPoke. There's a thing! What do you think happened, Sam? Oh, I got this. This week, we were trying to move a hammer. Dan? Yep. That's it. Yeah.

Anything you want to plug Dan sure check out I'm going to be at Flapper's opening for Jackie Cation in July and Brian in the old August and watch Tales of not Tales of the game I'm making based on it watch the Dragon Prince on Netflix Brian

for dates and stuff. And Gimme Metal for my show. Blaine? What are you up to, Blaine? Stacey's taking a dental week. Stacey who? Keech.

It works out because I'm going to be at Morongo Casino with Jose Feliciano this weekend. Nine shows. It's always fun. but it works out cause I'm going to be at a Morongo casino with Jose Feliciano this week. Oh, nine shows. It's always, always fun. Nine.

Yeah. Fuck. That's a lot. Thursday through Saturday. Oh Jesus. Uh, man. Uh,

yeah, but it's, it's fun. We flip like, uh, I'll do standup and he does music and then, uh, then he does standup and I do music.

It's a lot. Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening to another episode of Nerd Poker. You can follow us at patreon.com slash nerdpoker and you get bonus episodes from there. And you can also send us anything at P.O. Box 16069 Encino, California 91416. Thanks for listening.