Nerd Poker - S4E54 Davenglaven Barbecue

Episode Date: September 21, 2021

Things are heating up, thanks to an out of control jungle fire chasing the Castaway Cuties as they travel southwest to Davenglaven. And oh yeah, that whole abyssal curse thing!

Hey everybody, I'm Brian Poussaint. Comedian, writer, actor, nerd. I've been playing D&D with my friends for a long time. I decided to do a new podcast where we play Dungeons & Dragons in my very own dining room. With my wife, kid, and my noisy dogs. So meet my friends... Sarah Kev Dan

Lee Chris Now it's time for another episode of Brian Poussaint's Nerd Poker. Season 4. Hey, everybody. It's Brian Poussaint, and you're listening to Brian Poussaint's Nerd Poker. It's episode 54. My friends are here.

Look at them. Blaine's there. Hey, buddy. Hi, Brian. How you you doing i'm good ken hey buddy chelou chris is here hey chris hi brian purpley again good luck thank you good look Sarah's here. Hey, Sarah. Hi. Good. We heard you. Dan, buddy, what's up?

Oh, my God. So much is up, including things that are down. Oh, okay. And Sam is here, you guys. Hello, sweet children. And even sweeter, Ramen. Look at that guy. Hey, buddy. Hello, sweet children. And even sweeter, Ramen. Look at that guy. Hey, buddy. Hello, everybody.

He looks like a million-dollar animatronic puppet. I took him from Disneyland. It's a lot of work put into that thing. It's amazing. Dan. Brian. What do you want to do? Oh, I'll thank people.

Why not? Let's thank people at our Hayboss and Stargoyle tiers on Patreon. I want to thank usernames that sound like Trojan Ascension. Thank you, Trojan Ascension. Thank you. Thanks, Consensual Cannibalism. Thanks, Consensual. Thanks, The Vanilla Gorilla. Thanks, Venj. Thanks, TheVanillaGorilla.

Thanks, Fiji. Thank you, SkinGuy. It's okay. I'm a dermatologist. Okay. I have bad news about how people feel about your license plate. That doesn't include that addendum. Thank you, Sean.

Thank you. Thank you, BananaInTheDark. Thanks, SpookyHalloweenTree. thank you banana in the dark spooky halloween tree no that's that's from new girl oh okay yeah i forgot that that joke i will keep going i'm looking at my list of names and taking a moment to compose myself you You bastard. Thank you, Grotch Sabat. Thank you, Stabby McNeedles. Thank you. I hit my swollen weenus on the table. Ouch.

Oh dear. Whoopsie. Are you sure you're not just reading texts? Okay. Here's my phone with the names. Ooh. Organized in a spreadsheet on google spreadsheets don't hack us thank you rick miller

thank you the turd burglar stop stealing those turds turd burglar it's rude thank you brian's revinak thank you references to jobs i've done oh that's cool brian you were on new girl right

yes that explains that thank you james gilly thank you sean mckinley thank you castaway cuties booty cooties thank you Skeletoragon Trail. Thanks, Dr. Bert Funkelbean, Alfie's Veterinarian. Alfie is pretty sure is the dog that may or may not have drowned at the beginning of season four. Thank you, Prison Wallet of Holding. Thank you, JohnMMer.com. dac and coke thanks brent thanks paul and kona thanks pd thank you eric farmer and finally thank you the nice five they're the nice five say it feels good doesn't it i read that as aggressive because it felt aggressive when I saw

it with my eyes. Hey, Blaine, who are those Patreon supporters brought to us by? They're brought to us tonight by at Classic Jacobi and Briars Law Firm. Have you been injured in an ice cream

related accident where you were refused ice cream? Have you been denied your right to delicious ice cream? Has your banana split not been split correctly? Has one of your scoops fallen onto the sidewalk? Call Jacobi and Briars. You get a scoop. Jacobi gets a scoop. And Briar gets a scoop.

And we all get a big cherry on top. Jacoby and Briah's for ice cream related legal problems. In the yellow pages. Dan. Thank you, Blaine. Wow. I think the punchline there is yellow pages. Nice. wow I think the punchline there is yellow pages nice well that'll do it for this episode of nerd poker

thanks so much everybody hey Sam what do you think happened the punchline was the yellow pages yay congress no let's talk about what happened last time on nerd poker the castaway cuties Congress. No, let's talk about what happened last time on NerdPoker. The Castaway Cuties rappelled down a cliff.

That went pretty well. Then they found the hammer that they threw off the cliff. That went pretty well. And then they started running. Didn't go great. Unfortunately, a fire they lit a few episodes ago. I'm done with that voice. That fire.

I drank so much water today because I have a scratchy throat. And oh my God, the fall allergies are so bad. I hate allergies during the pandemic so much. It drives me fucking bonkers. It's like, oh, I know this is just allergies, but Jesus Lord. And oh, I this is just allergies but jesus lord um and oh i test negative

just because i freaked out anyway even though i would do this allergies um but uh yeah yeah yeah yeah that big old fire exploded i swear i rolled for it uh chris just made a face uh what's going on chris i read too much i knew you like you're an audience member who's not having fun. Um, but, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The fire, I rolled, it went really bad. And I rolled again during the last episode to see if it spread beneath the cliff. And it rolled really bad again. So the first roll I got a few weeks ago was a 99.

And I forget if I told you guys, but i just rolled a 95 last episode so the fucking fire is crazy so right now there is this sort of manifesting shadow and 2d and iva especially get a sense that this is the result of the curse that still lingers on nathan and danny you guys see these smoldering tree branches you just took a couple of points of of the curse that still lingers on Nathan and Danny. You guys see these smoldering tree branches? You just took a couple of points of fire damage as a brush fire kind of blew through the jungle. You kind of got two options if you're gonna deal with it or run, basically.

Because you were kind of running and then the fire hit. You all saw this visual. Do we have any sort of a, anything that can put it out? I don't have any way I can think of, I can cast fireball, but that, to my mind,

would make more fire. Yeah, that would make it worse. If it was a small fire, perhaps the fireball could stuff it, but this is a forest. But if that's... What about that fireball towards the coalescing black shadow things? You could attack it, but it doesn't

seem completely corporeal just yet. It seems like it's Voltroning into a big giant fly. Sure, maybe. Does it seem physical? Like, does it seem physical like it's about to be you feel like in a few seconds something might be happening

so you can bolt away from it and you could probably get out of the trees you could get into an open field or whatever this happens is done or you can stay and deal with it amongst the burning trees let's get into an open field less things on fire falling on our heads hopefully can stay and deal with it amongst the burning trees. Let's get into an open field.

Less things on fire falling on our heads, hopefully. Did the fire seem to affect the black stuff that was collecting? No, it seemed sort of like the black stuff that was collecting was some sort of horrible otherworldly thing, and not to do with the fire so much. Okay, so unaffected when the fire blew through. Yeah, unfortunately. So,

you guys are going to make a run for it, eh? Alright, why don't we just do a little uh athletics check to just get out the fire or you can do a survival if you prefer to do a survival i will allow that i have to use another one um 22 okay what'd you get Nathan? 15 Blaine what'd you get?

14 survival great we're adjusting video survival check yep survival check Brian oh good 19 total

20 cool you guys all did fantastic so no one takes additional fire damage you totally make it to this clearing um however you look over uh your shoulders and you see there is uh something something massive coming your way. It looks like a 10 foot tall humanoid creature is very dark. Black is heading towards you at high speeds. What would you like to do? How big, how tall? It seems like it's probably about 10 feet but it's kind of hunched over and it's just moving

so fast that you're like a little unsure how it could be moving so fast it's dodging between the branches you know princess cosby is is of course freaking out because she got a little singed during the fire she's a little dried out she's splashing water on herself going

oh god can i cast a spell? Is this guy familiar to the people who are afflicted? No. This is a new enough horror. They don't have a vision of this in their heads already or anything. I'm going to cast command.

Okay. Let's see Command means he rolls against it, correct? Wisdom Alright, so he's gonna do a It's a wisdom saving throw, what's his DC? He has to get 13 Okay

He has a plus 2 And that'll be a total of 16 Well, never mind That's a plus two. And that'll be a total of 16. Well, never mind. Sorry about that, 2D. Yeah, it's going to hit you last chance. Anything else anybody wants to do? I step out of frame and come back into frame dressed like a matador.

Nice. Cool. I will turn to 2otie and say, if you want me to help, I believe I'll need my wand. Oh, I'll throw him his

wand. Okay. Uh, hey, uh, Nathan, please do a charisma check.

Charisma check. Charisma check. Uh, 19. Great. You manage not to uh bite like run forth and bite tootie but you do feel this compulsion to do so oh those

strong gauntlets how they hurt my incisors way to get a hold of yourself buddy uh alright i'm gonna tell you guys it's time to roll for initiative everybody roll for initiative please I'm gonna go ahead and switch the map too

um let's see I'm gonna put Tootie and Danny uh where the front would be and we're gonna have um Princess Cosby up there kind of nervous wanting to be protected by the big strong people even though she does love nathan and we're gonna have uh jelf in the back with uh nathan and iva in the middle does that sound close to what we did last time sure

yeah sure great so i'm gonna invite you guys to this map, but I haven't assigned everybody yet. So give me a second to, before you try to move your token, because I tried to give you a background that was accurate since you ran away from the fire. Oh, fire's following us. Oh no, a cicada. Didn't start the fire. That's your favorite artist, no, a cicada. Then start the fire. That's your favorite artist, right, Brian?

It's great. Thank you for quoting it, because it's just nice to be reminded of that wonderful, wonderful artist. He is the entertainer, and he knows just where he stands. Another serenader in another one-man band. Tonight he is your champion.

He may have won your hearts but he knows the game you'll forget his name he won't be here another year if he don't say it's on the charts sorry it doesn't stay on the charts so i was trying to change the tense wow you really knew the lyrics to we didn't start the fire i'm really impressed no that was the lyrics of the entertainer which is off uh uh street life serenader i don't want to be a dick but that was definitely the lyrics to we didn't start the fire everyone knows them oh oh oh we didn't start the fire oh mickey you're so fine you're so fine we start the fire in mickey see i want to start a fire now i feel crazy but that's that that's the lyrics too it's the end of

the world as we know it and i feel fine i really don't i don't think you're being leonard cohen that's it all anybody knows um yeah i should collect those initiatives i'm done assigning people and killing time hey jelf what, what'd you get? Initiative. I got a 14, 10 plus four. Iva. I got a natural 20 plus three. Nice.

That's fantastic. Danny, what'd you get? For which one? Initiative. Initiative. Nathan, what'd you get?

I got an 8 that's low uh 2d what'd you get I got a shit bomb 2 oh that is a real shit bomb it certainly is okay so we're gonna go ahead

and arrange the turn orders Iva you're up first you got my 18 right Dan Okay, so we're gonna go ahead and arrange the turn orders. Iva, you're up first. You got my 18, right, Dan? I sure did, yes, sir. Cool, thanks. Uh, yeah. So, I guess all I can really do is just, um, attack.

You can do so many things, are you kidding me? You can try to negotiate with this monstrous... There's a fly coming at you. It's about 10 feet tall. It's flying low to the ground. None of you have seen anything like this before. It's got horrible humanoid hair draping off of its bulbous eyes. Wait, so it's a fly that's unrelated to the little flies

that we saw attached to these guys? They didn't manifest this? For the love of the lord of narrative, the question that you asked was do the people who are cursed

recognize it? Do I think? Do I have it? It was still a ball of shadow and hadn't fully coalesced, so no. It's a different question. Do you recognize it? Um,

do I, I have a professional investigator think this might have something to do with the shadow flies that I just saw, but that's fine. If I don't, I'll just, yeah, for sure. Yes.

It seems extremely likely to all of you. Uh, okay. Yeah. I'm, uh, I mean, yeah, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to attack it. And. See, I don't need advantage on the half roll. It's amazing.

OK, so I was just trying to see if I could get my sneak attack, but I don't think I can. OK, here we go. Oops, wrong roll. Let's try that again. That's a 23 to hit. That is a hit for sure. Roll that damage.

Nice. Okay, and that is nine points of damage. Great. And then as a bonus action, I'd like to use insightful fighting, which means I can make an insight check, um, contested by his deception check. And if I succeed, then I can use sneak attack against him, um, for the next minute. Cool. Uh, what's he rolling? Uh, deception check. All right. He rolled a six. Uh, I rolled a six. I rolled a seven.

Oh! With a plus five. Dang. I mean, I rolled a two. Alright, so what is that? The next turn you can do a sneak attack? Yeah, now I can sneak attack him without needing advantage or anything else on the roll.

Nice. Got it. So I get the bonus stuff every time. Will that end your turn? That was my bonus action, so yes. Okay, I'm going to need you to do a constitution saving throw. You got it. 16.

Great. Um, you get this sort of uneasy feeling from, uh, this horrible, like, droning buzz noise that is coming off of this thing's wings as it's rocketing towards you guys. Brown sound.

Ha ha ha. Um. Um. Do-do-do-do-do-do. So, uh, um so uh up next danny what you gonna do to this giant fly go hey wall um let's see sarah by the way what weapon did you attack with uh my short bow great okay thank you danny what you doing um i'm gonna see i'm gonna use my uh my longbow on him. Great. Hold to attack, please.

Trying to find where my arrows are. Let's see. Where are them arrows? I don't see them, actually. Oh, no, I have crossbow bolts. actually my oh no I have crossbow bolts that's I don't know on the front this is confusing on the front it says longbow on the inside it says crossbow I feel like we've always used a crossbow yeah I'm checking your character sheet you've you've got a crossbow right okay so this is a plus six to hit, sir.

It's a light crossbow. Okay. Oh, shit. Natural. Yeah! All right, so remember, you're going to double your dice damage. Roll that damage. It was a six.

Yep. You guys are doing good range attacks. Your first two out of the gate. You're you're nailing him. Say what it was again. Roll six twice. So your damage dice is one D eight. Oh,

roll that first and then double whatever it is. And then you get to add three. A three and a six. And then another. Oh, and double it. So what do you mean a three and a six? I rolled. I rolled twice.

No, you don't want to roll twice. You want to roll once and double it. I rolled again. Seven that time. Great. So double that. You double that. Yeah. And that's a 14 and double it. I rolled again seven that time. Great, so double that. You double that, yeah. And that's a 14 and add three, so that'll be a 17 damage with that

crossbow. Nice. Which is very good. That's great. Unfortunately, I can't do flurry of blows because that's not a melee attack, but yeah, you nail him with the crossbow right in his big, disgusting head. Good. Then I'm going to need you to do a constitution saving throw

as you begin to hear the horrible, otherworldly buzzing from his wings. Sorry, I lost the page sure your constitution saving throw modifier is plus 3 yeah it's gonna be low I'm at 11 okay

uh ooh you missed it by one you needed a 12 on this constitution saving throw so uh you get overwhelmed after you get that nice shot off it starts to get closer um and you fall unconscious

you guys just see Danny kind of like his eyes roll back in his head and he just sort of slumps to the ground Nathan Oh, wow. You guys just see Danny kind of like his eyes roll back in his head and he just sort of slumps to the ground. Nathan. Oh, I feel utterly responsible. This thing is going to jet in now with its turn. It heads over towards Jelf.

Oh. As Jelf is just placed there. And Jelf, I'm going to need you to tell me your AC in a second, because he is going to take the large proboscis that he's got attached to his disgusting face and try to stab you with it. Dan, at that moment, Nathan goes, I've been here. And he's going to use his portent and make that thing roll a two.

He rolled a three, but okay. That's a two now. Even better. Yeah's a two now. Even better. Yeah, and he misses. Up next, we're going to have... Jelf, it's your turn. And he's right there? Yes.

I'm going to attack him with my short sword. I wish you would. It's a 17. plus okay that's great but if you needed a 15 at him 1d 6 plus 4 so it's a 6 so 10 can I cut you guys Bosco soft ha no unfortunately you can't cut his main weapon off of him come on come on yeah come on let me get the way well come on let me get the way well if you roll a nat 20 and then you roll like something crazy but yeah I like it's well come on oh you know what hey Danny, Danny. Hey, Brian. Yeah?

I want to do a quick retcon. You got a crit. I should be doing this when I remember. Will you roll a 100 for your crit, please? Sure. Blaine's attempt to get a crit he didn't deserve reminded me that you got a crit and that you should get to roll a 100. Ah! Wah!

Whoa! Ooh! Wah! What was that, Brian? I couldn't hear you over the altitude. 51. Oh. All right. So for that crossbow bolt, that's going to go ahead and like go through a small part of his exoskeleton.

He hit another part of his body. Would you please roll 1d6 for extra damage? Four. All right. So he's going to take an extra four points of damage. Unfortunately, after that, you do still, narrative timeline-wise, fall unconscious. And we catch back up to Jelf having just... Nathan!

Swung. Jelf, do you have a bonus action or anything you'd like to do before your turn ends? Can I take another swing at him? I have to look at your character sheet to see if that's possible unless you can tell me it's for sure possible. Extra attack, you can attack twice whenever you take the attack. Does that count as... I got to... You're not finishing your sentences just enough for me to know what you're talking about.

No, I'm just trying to figure out if that only applies to my archery or if it applies to any other sort of... Right, because archery is your specialty, so I need to fumble around for a second to action surge you can take one additional action on your turn this can be used one time for short rest sure but is that like something you need to use as an action i guess you know what i would like to do dan as i'm pulling up your character sheet i'll be able to i'll be able to tell you if any of these things are possible in about 20 more seconds, but, you know, just hang on there. So, yeah, you...

One thing that I think I would like to do in lieu of another attack is cast Long Strider on myself so that I can sort of start running around and come up behind this thing and do uh different attacks well you use your action to fight as your bonus action uh you can cast your cantrip but that's about it you you can't cast long strider as an additional action okay um for your attack i'm not seeing action surge oh there it is uh additional action your turn yeah you can do that once all right so i will i will you can totally yeah. You just, it's just once per short rest.

I'm so sorry. I miss it. It's a special. It's in the other section. That's okay. So I didn't see it in your actions. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Please feel free to cast long stride around yourself.

Okay. Then I'm going to do that and I'm going to do that and I'm going to run back to the car and get my candy bar off the dashboard. Are you going to use some of your movement to run away from this guy? I would like to sort of sidestep him a little bit and set myself up to, you know, like a little matador sidestep thing and maybe try to position myself to attack him again. Okay, so maybe like over there? try to position myself to attack him again. Okay, so maybe... When my turn comes up. Over there?

I would maybe to his right. Like the other side, like over here? Yeah, the other side. Okay. You can do that. I mean, you have movement. You can do it this turn. Okay, yeah, I'll do that, please.

Great, great. And I'm going to need you to do a constitution saving throw, Jelf. Constitution saving throw. 14 plus zero, 14. Great. You managed to shake off the horrible buzzing noise that's happening. Nathan, you're up.

Nathan will use his movement to get a total of 30 feet away from the thing. Are all these trees, we're sort of standing in a field that seems sort of lined with trees. Are these trees all on fire? No, these trees are not on fire. You got far enough away from the fire. This is not actively blazed. Sorry, you want to go set these trees on fire? You missed a couple.

Oh, yeah. So maybe I'll kind of fall back over here. Is that... Sure. As long as I'm within 30... Okay, I gotta be a little closer. I have to be within 30 feet of it. And I will pull out my carrot wand

and cast Witch Bolt against this thing. I'm gonna do it high. I'm gonna do it at third level. Cool. And... Oh, shit. Only got a 12. I'm sorry. That's a miss. You needed a... I believe it's a 16 hit him? No, 15. 15.

Shit, shit, shit. Is that going to be it for you, Nathan? That's all I can do. Please do a constitution saving throw. Constitution. Look out. he's gonna bite somebody on the arm. Five.

Okay. You get dizzy from the droning noise and you also fall asleep. I have the vapors. And much as Danny just yelled Nathan, Nathan joins him in a slumber. So that's two down that are unconscious.

Up next, we've got Princess Caspia. She is going to run up and stab the dude. Dagger be enrolled. Run up and stab the dude. Do-do-do-do. Dagger being rolled. Oh. She's going to miss, unfortunately. And she's going to Constitution Saving Throw. Brr-brr-brr-brr.

Bam. She rolled a two. Princess Caspia falls unconscious. Tutti, you're up. Would this be a humanoid or a creature? This is a large fiend. Oh. So it's not human.

Nope. Then I will cast sleep. Can't hit him with a hammer? You can try, but that's a big ol' hammer. Yeah, it's too heavy. I don't think I can wield it yet. The plus to hit won't be what you want it to be. I'll put it that way.

The damage might be great, but the plus to hit might not be a plus. Right. I'm going to cast sleep. Uh-huh. And that's for hit points, yes? So you want to tell me how many? 13. Yeah, that's not going to do it,

unfortunately. He seems like he's got a fair bit of hit points left. That'll do it for your turn? 5d8, and I got 13. Man, that's rough. Please roll a constitution saving throw. Sure. man that's rough please roll a constitution saving throw sure 22 oh you're you're just fine um but yeah i would say all of you notice at this point now that you've all had a turn n Nathan and Danny are both sleepy times.

And it seems to have been a painful zonk that hit them from this horrible, horrible sound. Up next, we've got Iva. Iva, what would you like to do? Okay, I am going to first use my bonus action, which

I think I can do. First, to dash. And I'm going to dash basically as far away from as I can. So I'm gonna go ahead and, let me see, I can go 60 feet, I believe. So I'm gonna go like all the way back here, cause then I will still be in range. Okay.

Yeah. So I'm gonna move in range. Okay. Yeah. So I'm going to move myself all the way back here. Yeah. I'm going to be here. Okay. And then I'm going to attack him with my short bow, which is still in range. And this is going to be a sneak attack because of the roll I had last time.

Yeah, go for it. Okay. So that's a 23 to hit. That's a hit. And then that's... I get to do 3d6. Oh, shit. This sounds big.

Okay, so that's 22 points of damage. Whew! Nice. Very nice. And I'm behind him now in the trees. And I'm just checking. Busting the ruler out. Yep.

No constitution saving throw for you. Awesome. Danny, you are unfortunately unconscious until you are somehow revived. You're also muted. Excuse me, I hiccuped. Nathan. Nathan.

Buddy, save me. Do you want to be the little spoon? Aw, baby spoon. Alright, so... This thing is going to attack Jelf now.

Of course he is. No! No! That is a 10 hit. That's a miss, I believe. Sure. You're like, yeah, Dan. And let me see.

That's going to do it for its turn. Jelf, you're up. I'm going to shoot it with an exploding arrow as I sort of run away from it back, I guess, north a little bit. Which direction? That direction that you were just doing right there. Oh, straight north?

Go up between those trees, yeah. Okay, you can move up to 35 feet, but you've got long strider, which means... I just want to stay out of his range. But I got a... You got 45 feet, so you want to go all the way back here into the woods? Yes.

I can run back out and attack him when I need to. Okay. That's an 18. You don't get to do that quite yet, unfortunately. First, he gets an attack of opportunity on you as you run away. Okay. I was kind of doing it as I was

sort of like aiming backwards and running. Do you... How far away do you want to be when you shoot your exploding arrow? I would like to be, you know, 20, 30 feet away. He is going to swing at you with his proboscis

as you leave melee range. I should have cut that thing off. If only you'd been allowed to by a reasonable dungeon master. Okay, so this is going to be a... Does it matter that he's flanked or no? No, Princess Cosby is asleep. Oh, you're asleep.

Did I not? I didn't put an icon on her. Excuse me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? She fell asleep. I'm not crazy, right? She rolled an icon on her. Excuse me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? She fell asleep. I'm not crazy, right? She rolled super low on her constitution saving throw.

Yeah, so he would have otherwise been flanked, which just meant that if you were attacking him in melee, it would be advantage. But you're doing a ranged attack because your exploding arrow would otherwise hurt you. And he rolled a 22 to hit. Hmm.

Okay, so this is going to be 4d6 plus 2 piercing damage. So it's going to be 18 points of piercing damage for you, Jelf. Okay. And then... In addition to that... you're going to take

a rather ugly amount of damage big old pile of dice for this one uh you're going to take 29 points of necrotic damage. Whoa. Your hit point maximum is now reduced by 29 points. What, for good? Until either a long rest or it is affected by a spell.

Oh, not a long rest. We have trouble with those. I know, long rests. Luckily, you're not cursed. But yes, then you please roll that exploding arrow. How many hit points do you have left, Jelf? I'm down to four. Roll that exploding arrow.

That's a six. Six on the D8. Plus four. So it's ten plus... Ten plus ten. So 20 points on that one. Nice. And I would like to also shoot him again.

Just for fun. Right in his proboscis. 19. That's a hit. That's a thing. And I'll do this again. That's another 610. And then...

Wait, wait. How are you shooting him again? With another arrow? Action Surge only lets you do that one time per short rest, so you've already done that, unfortunately. So you have two attacks? You guys are pretty high level as fighters. Level six.

I think when they take the attack action, they get two attacks. That's what I'm trying to see. Yeah, you can attack twice whenever you take the attack. No, you're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. Sorry, that's always hard for me to figure out because it's not laid out simply on your character sheet.

But that's a... Totally my bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 17, and I'm going to run into the tree. That's it? Yeah, roll that damage. Oh, no, that was 17 damage. Oh, how would you like to see this thing die?

I'd love to, Dan. Okay. I would like to see him look up? I'd love to, Dan. I would like to see him look up into heaven, up into fly heaven. And he sees his fly mom go little baby maggot, aww coming to mama.

He's come up to heaven, he's a big turd, he's a big dog turd. We all up here on the turd coming to mama, little maggot. And then he sort of just bleeds out. And he doesn't

get to his mom. Oh, no. His horrifying lack of demonic closure is evident in his many-faceted demon fly eyeballs as he collapses in a heap 96 tears and 96

eyes no uh yeah and he is dead you guys manage to uh survive the encounter I'm just checking a quick thing about you sleepy time boys. Um,

as the combat sort of ends, um, you sort of check in with each other. Jelf, you are, you know, hurting real bad. Mm-hmm.

Um, also, those of you who fell asleep are still asleep um can i try to wake them up yes i do nothing happens i throw water no i don't throw water on them are the ones who fell the afflicted? It turns out they are. And Princess Cospia. And Princess Cospia, although that does seem to be directly related to their failed constitution saving throws rather than

some secret the dungeon master is lording from you. Okay. How to wake from a magical sleep. Or some type of weird sleep. I'm just snuggled up in the folds of Danny's enormous

pants. So like slapping them lightly doesn't work? No. Like doing one hit point of damage okay um hmm well I guess we leave you here I'd like to pray to Muhammad

okay for advice do a religion check please alright if I can get this button to work fine we can try that too there's an issue with the app. Let me go back. Okay. Religion. Yes.

I wonder what he rolled, everybody. 21. Your friends will be well soon I shall do my best and just give them a few minutes and they should rouse themselves praise be

Bahamut praise be to you what I left the mic on bye and yeah you feel you guys all kind of hang out based off of Bahamut's advice and yeah, it's 10 minutes later

they kind of rouse feeling a little worse for wear. Jelf, however, still feels like utter shit. You guys know if you tried to make good time, you could Oh God! I saw the Zoom filter Sarah just activated um you guys feel like if you still

made really fast time you would be able to make it uh pretty quick um but it's getting dark and you know uh you're you're to have to just start running again. If you want to make it to blink, lay hands on girls. Okay. Cause also we did want to lay them out. Hey, you know,

I have a thing, a second wind once per short rest, I can use a bonus action to regain one D 10 plus five hit points. Okay. Speaking of Billy Joe. Why don't you do that also, Sarah? You were about to say something. I was just going to say, what time of day is it now? It's about 4pm.

Because they could try to rest again and we might they might, I think they get to make, didn't Bahamut say they get to make that constitution saving throw or charisma or whatever again when they long rest. So we could try now. how close are we to the raging forest fire um it feels uncomfortably close but you guys are starting to get farther away from the trees i thought it petered out sorry okay you're starting

no you're starting to get into the plains but the you know the the play the bonus of the plains is this is rather lush green grass it doesn't seem like it's going to catch as easy as some of the dried out vines and moss that lit up so fast in the jungle. Okay, well, let's just go then. All right. But what did you get for your hit points back there, Jelf? I got a six plus five, 11 points. Oh, that's pretty good. So you're not bad. That's door.

What's his maximum? That's the thing. He's reduced by 29 points, so he might be maxed out now. Yeah, I probably am. So your max hit points was 46. That's 46 minus 29. That's where your max is now.

23? 17. You can have 17 max hit points. So it works. I'm up. Full plate. 17. Once you rest, you'll get them. Yeah.

Let's have a rest. Yeah, you're going to camp or run? I thought you guys were about to run. I think we were just going to try to move a little further and get farther away from the fire. That's good. Alright, you spend a few more hours running. You make it to the point where you see a very deep

lush jungle to the south. The fire now far behind you to the northeast and to the south the fire now far behind you to the northeast and to the north a curious woods called upsea pinesy where you can see even from a distance all of the trees

seem to be floating about 10 feet off the ground and there's this large open expanse beneath them that is hidden in shadow. However, Blingbottom is only about 12 hours sprint to the southwest. I mean, I want to explore Dan's...

Night is beginning to fall. Dan's rich world that he's created, but also I do feel like we got to get... How's Caspia's... Has it progressed at all you take a look at princess cospia's arm and it is progressing a little bit okay so we gotta we gotta move anyway but we're gonna rest hopefully you guys beat this thing and then we're gonna head to bling bottom and dan we'll check out upsy pinesy you know when we get a

chance we'll take a road trip listen i have several continents of stuff and i have plans beyond even individual seasons because i'm an insane person so whether or not you decide to ever go to upsy pinesy is up to you and me um but i i don't give a shit it's fine the you guys um it's not not that i don't start so nice that it ended so bad god dueling neuroses so the uh i i let you in so uh you all want to set up camp that's totally fine or you want to run which is going to be, I missed that. You just said, I think we ran,

we ran for a while and then we said, we're going to set up camp so that you guys can try to kick this thing. Right. Yeah. Even though her thing is progressing, but not fast enough that hopefully eight hours of rest might fix them. And then we can get going again. All right.

Well, do you want to try to make a break for the next patch of jungle on the way do you want or do you want to go to one of these i assume not upsea pinezy but uh the the jungle to the south can we not just stop where we are you're in the some open plains it would be pretty difficult to not seem very vulnerable right now you could probably do it but i think all of you, especially Jelf, would intuit that if you were to try to camp here, you'd leave yourself open to some pretty large

predators. Okay. Well, then I guess we keep going until we get to more cover and then camp there. Unless someone has a better idea. No, that sounds right. Jungle would sound good. Got it. I'm going to put on the deal with it sunglasses as my filter. So you guys book it a little bit longer uh till you find some cover yes yes um night

begins to fall you set up camp and we'll have to find out what happens with all these afflictions on the next episode. Ooh. Nerd poker. Sam, what do you think happened? That is a good question. The giant fire has become a giant fly because that's what we get for fucking around. It knocked Bodhi down and Jelf tried to knock its main weapon off and several people went to sleep instead of helping.

Jelf is trying to shoot a flaming arrow and had the audacity to take two attacks. Update, he's allowed to take two attacks and it's a good thing because he killed the fly with his passionate attack. Once we killed the large fly, instead of putting out the fire we started,

we ran away to somewhere we haven't yet lit on fire. Yes. Dan? Yeah, I just want to plug, go to talesofzadia.com,com you guys i got all kinds of free stuff already up for this tabletop role-playing game i'm designing for the netflix show the dragon prince tales of zadia of course tales of x a d i a what's going on with the rest of y'alls

well can't have a weird filter help me by supporting nerd poker and uh oh yeah joining at patreon level if you're not go to the merch area check that out yeah you know nerdpokerpod.com um and then brianpersain.com for tour dates

Blaine Blaine what are you up to? I'm going to be at Moon Tower at the end of September. Come and check out those shows. It should be fun. We just wrapped season 15 of Someone's in the Kitchen.

I love when he has a real plug mixed in with a fake one. Yeah. So does Blaine, I bet. No, no, no. Can you imagine me with a fake one. Yeah. So does Blaine, I bet. No, no, no. Can you imagine me with a gig? Thanks, you guys. We appreciate your listening.

Bye. Bye-bye. Thanks for listening to another episode of Nerd Poker. You can follow us at patreon.com slash nerdpoker, and you get bonus episodes from there and you can also uh send us anything at p.o box one six zero six nine encino california nine one four one six thanks for listening