Nerd Poker - S4E75 Cave in Davenglaven

Episode Date: February 15, 2022

It's time to sneak into Flaysacola, as that town is now apparently run by undead elves and that's probably going to be a problem. The Castaway Cuties must now decide whether to climb a cliff, go for a swim, or enter a mysterious cave. Surely climbing the cliff wouldn't take a year, like climing that boat did last season.

Hey everybody, I'm Brian Poussin, Comedian, writer, actor, nerd. I've been playing D&D with my friends for a long time. I decided to do a new podcast where we play Dungeons & Dragons in my very own dining room. With my wife, kid, and my noisy dogs. So meet my friends Sarah, Kev, Dan, Blaine, Chris. Now it's time for another episode of Brian Pussain's Nerd Poker. Season 4. Hey, everybody.

I'm Brian Pussain, and you're listening to Brian Pussain's Nerd Poker. It's episode 75. We did it. 75. 75. It's when i saw jars and uh and i uh started getting nerdy about stuff in 1975 um what else my friends are here look at them hey ken what's up so much how you doing brian good to see you, buddy. Good. Blaine's here, I heard. Blaine's muted.

Hi, Brian, it's me, Blaine. Blaine, you're muted. Oh, sorry, I was muted. I know. Sarah, hello. Hi. Chris is here. Hey, Brian, ready to do some D&D.

Nice. Nice. Dan? It's me. I can also sing. I don't know if I'm as good at it as him. What? Somebody wants to be let in or out. Sam,

can you judge that singing contest for us? I would give it an H. Rated H. Out of 10. We didn't even check him with ramen last episode. How is ramen this week? He's fantastic. There's no way we're going to get to him.

There's hot, fresh laundry on the bed, and that's all he cares about. Yeah. I'm the same way. Yeah, Ken, get out of there! Look at you, warm and cozy. Yeah. Now we'll get back to her poker, Ken. I saw hot, fresh laundry open for the presidents of the United States of America. It was the worst show I ever went to.

Oh, wow. Oh, neat. She's love. She's love. This episode is brought to you by melanie and shave guys what oh yeah oh nice what i gotta go to that place that you guys go to again that place is awesome once again i gotta get a wife there There actually is a place, Brian's Shaved Ice, but it's total Hawaiian style. Does it have zuki beans at the bottom?

And you can see Brian's shaved ass at Crunch. Is Hawaiian shaved ice like water ice? No, not at all. It's exactly like that. Or lemon ice. Right, how is it different? It's different from the giant ice.

They shave with a blade and it's very fluffy and light. And it's got condensed milk in it. And syrups. Yeah. Or they'll put ice cream in the bottom. So this is like a sherbet sorbet difference? They do a lot of Hawaiian flavors too. You know, coconut.

Shaved snow is also very good. Things like that. Which is ice cream shaved like ice. Yeah. Oh. When they start messing with ice cream shaved like ice. Yeah. When they start messing with ice cream though, that's how we got Dippin' Dots. I like Dippin' Dots. I enjoy Dippin' Dots.

You can't. They're terrible. You can't fuck with frozen custard. That's the best one I've ever eaten. I bet you guys like ice cream cake too. Well, a good ice cream cake. Why would you not like it? It's bad. Because it's the worst quality.

Is it fudgy the whale? No, not Carvel. Go to Fossilman's in Alhambra and you will change your mind. If I want cake, I want cake. If I want ice cream, I want ice cream. You guys sure got all these rules about everything. Why do I want it? I was going to say.

I'm sorry that I know what's good. Tell me more about ice cream cake. Check out fifth edition. I don't have a lot of rules about what I eat and look how I look, so don't worry about it. Yeah, I have no rules. Just write.

I have zero rules. Ice cream burrito? Sign me up. Oh, yeah. Jello pizza. I feel like I've said this before. I eat ice cream a lot. Try Pop's Artisanal Creamery. It's very good.

I just discovered it. Pizza cake? Can I get a turducken pizza cake? I know there's one in the Valley. I don't know. What is it called? Oh, OK. Like Peruvian flavors and stuff

like lucuma, which is a fruit that tastes like car. Oh, man. I love it when the sea doesn't light up. What's the craziest thing you got there, Ken? Lucuma, which is a fruit that tastes like caramel. Keep talking.

Honey is very good. Cod. I was about to say another rule and I won. Oh my god. Just strawberry, chocolate, and vanilla. That's it. No, but I was going to be like anything that could also be a perfume. I feel like

I'm at least going to second guess it. Have you been to Mashti Malone? That's the ice cream with really long hair. I'm so glad that we finally all got together on the Ice Cream Hour podcast. Anyway, let's talk about sandwiches. Magpies? Go to Magpies?

Guys, when are we going to do Cone Corner? Yeah, that's the spinoff. Oh, I was thinking like a little segment nerd corner well that went great hey how about i thank some patreon supporters oh my god thank you to all of you who are at the hay boss and Stargoyle tiers of our Patreon. You are the only reason this podcast still exists. I am but a shambling corpse until I sit down and remember. Generous. Generous.

Sure. Good Lord. Generous donations from folks like a Martha Mons unfortunate climbing mishap. Thank you. Remember when. Thank you. And you know what? Thanks, Jody Freeze.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Mr. G. and you know what thanks jody freeze thank you thank you thank you mr g aka the unusual genitals of chris tallman's season seven character so specific i know that one's tricky because they bring a real name into it so many patreon supporters want to comment on the genitals of chris's character as it's a little upsetting I think it's because of, as Sam would say, that sexual energy. Thank you, Axelon Crane.

Thanks, Ice Five's Venus member. Thanks, Ice Five. Thank you, Dr. Pepper Spray, 23 flavors plus capasin? Capsaicin. Capsaicason. Thank you.

Thank you, Hayashi the Magical Raccoon Dog. Thanks, Matthew Edwards. Thanks, Matt Longo. Thank you. Thanks, Slapchap McRibwrap. Okay. Thanks,

Trillymicgenist. Thank you, The Most Intricate Dick Tracing of the Modern Age. Those were the days. thanks Trillymic Ginist thank you the most intricate dick tracing of the modern age those were the days the horrible horrible days thank you Callum Kennedy thank you Grim Bacon thank you Keith

Arton thanks Bojangles thanks Billy's ASMR tape I'm sorry Billy's ASMR tape. Oh, well, I'm sorry. Billy's ASMR mixtape. Hey, Chris, have you listened to that mixtape lately? Are there any cool tracks off of that? Yeah, my favorite is when he just swallows

nickels. Thank you, Brent. Crying out. Thank you. Smack dab in the middle. Smack dab in the middle. Thank you, Brent Kreina. Thank you, Smackdab in the Middle. Smackdab in the Middle. Smackdab in the Middle. Thank you, Jack Burton. Thank you.

Thank you, Doc Rockwell. Thank you, Eric Score. Thank you, Wade Long. Thanks, Wade. Thank you, Dr. Wieners. Thanks, Doc. Thank you, PP Tape NFT. What the hell?

Oh, God. And finally, thank you, Friday the 15th, which is Friday the 13th with two figures up your ass. That's lucky. Ice cream background in the Zoom for Ken Daly. It's more of a mustache background.

It's a very intense man mustachioed. Mustachioed? Hey, Blaine, I just yelled a bunch of names at everybody. Who are they brought to us by? With pleasure, Bob. It's the 1980 Cadillac Eldorado. The Cadillac of Eldorado's legendary American quality and unbeatable performance.

Zero to 60, relax. You'll get there, and it'll be in style in the Cadillac Eldorado. Jiffy Crock Stove Top Crock Pot. Delicious slow roasted food in minutes with Jiffy Crock. And the Meadow Alert. A quick press of a button lets the authorities know you're dead in your home.

Makes a great hit. The Meadow Alert. And all these can be yours if the price is right. Dan? Thanks. Oh, Blaine, I wasn't sure when that was over. I just, I was hoping to hear more from that, from that guy, that announcer for,

the price is right, I guess. Oh, oh, sorry. That was for my wife. All right. Well, I guess it's time to talk about what happened last time on Nerd Poker. You're still going to play? Oh, if you, do you want to just talk about ice cream? Oh my God, I guess it's time to talk about what happened last time on Nerd Poker. Still going to play? Oh, do you want to just talk about ice cream? Ice cream.

You guys are hogging off dogs. Sam, Sam, when we get into ice cream talk, can you please like have some jingling ice cream truck bells and songs playing in the background and like cheering kids and like just make it ice cream chat? Yes. Yes. Yes, I will. Thank you, Sam. We have an ice cream guy in my neighborhood and the, the music they play is love is blue by Paul Marriott.

And it's the weirdest. Cause it's a very sad, like tragic. It's all these really sad kids come out. Anyway, on that note, let's talk about what happened last time. All these really sad kids come out. Anyway. On that note, let's talk about what happened last time. So the Castaway Cuties took a much more successful trip on the Schooneroonie to Davenglaven on purpose rather than on accident. They decided to take a little dinghy out to the coast to have a few laughs,

at which point they made the guard who was going to take the boat back go sleepy time so they could go all the way to a cave where they've been left. We now take it to the castle where QT's already in progress. So, you guys are at the mouth of this cave. You've got three options, right? You want to go in to Flayzacola, which

is where the Temple of Bahamut is that you can use to destroy not only this phylactery, but hopefully maybe the demon lord known as Pazuzu. You just got to decide. Do you want to try to swim somewhere else on the beach? You want to climb this rocky cliff face? Or do you want to explore these caves that do

seem to lead into the direction of the city? Let's have a vote. Climb, swim, or in. Remember, no vote is legal until the Republicans win. It doesn't hurt to me that maybe caves are better

because we don't know the situation with these elven... There could be guards everywhere that we need to... They could be in the cave, even. Not encounter. They could be. But they're know, that we need to like. They could be in the cave even. Not encounter. They could be. But they're sun elves. You know what?

In lieu of the finale of season three, how about your Dungeon Master prompt? You offer an insight check. Oh, wait. I have a specific thing. We should do an insight check. And also I have that specific. Remember that specific feature that is. Oh, right, about

Cave Lord? Was it Way or Woe? No, but it specifically is... Why can't I not find it? It's a specific thing that I have to recognize. What is the best path to take, right? Yeah, the best because of my gambling ability. Oh.

I can know what the best course of action is at the den so I can basically say like caves or overland or climbing the thing which would be the best do you have to make a roll regardless I don't know why I can't

find it right now it's very frustrating everyone else can do their you wanted to do the inside you definitely should tell me the goal I was going to vote for Cave. So how many Cave votes do we have? I vote for Cave. I find it. Feature, never tell me the odds. Odds and probability are your

bread and butter. During downtime activities that involve games of chance or figuring odds on the best plan, you can get a solid sense of which choice is likely the best one and which opportunities seem too good to be true at the DM's determination. Let's do it. I posed like the Fallout kid.

I just have to tell you, huh? So, you think about swimming. You don't know where you'd go. Seems like the worst option. You think about climbing the cliff face. Could work. You guys are tough. You've repelled walls before.

However, you would still have to get into the city. You know, the temple of Bahamut is far enough in that you're not necessarily going to have an easier time getting in than you would have in the docks. Once you climb the cliff face, there's still city border to walk in. There's,

there might be guards everywhere. It's a pretty like definitely going to be weird. Uh, the caves, however dangerous they might be, do seem to go in that direction and would have the added bonus in an ideal situation of taking you towards the inner city and closer to the temple of Bahamut without having to encounter, at the very least,

elves. You feel like looking into the caves, they don't seem like somewhere the guards are stationed. So at the very worst, you'll come up somewhere in the city through the sewers or something, and maybe there's a guard, but you can scout pretty carefully through the manhole or sewer grate or whatever. Also, we would have to carry the statue up the

climb and through the water. Mm-hmm. And people would stop us. statue up the climb and through the water. So I'm going to vote cave as well. You do think that would be an issue? Well, I think that the caves have it. You guys can vote for cave too. Let's get Spelunky. Let's do it.

Alright, Sam, by the way, my audio crapped out. No! No! At least we know he's there. It's beautiful. His disembodied voice. Sam, walk toward the light. There is warmth and comfort in the light.

It's hot. Wrong light. The other light. Well, if you guys are exploring a cave, you know what that means. It's time to roll out the Roll 20. So if everyone could head out to our Roll 20, things will get mappy. Mappy good times.

All right. Us loading Roll20 brought to you by that one weird peanut M&M that you ate last. Bitter one. Nice. Yeah, I was going to say, was it misshapen or was it bitter? No, it's like the

kind of taste has like that weird green taste and you don't have any more M&Ms left to get the green taste out of your mouth. Hit it. Set your face on fire. This face is on fire. I don't want to set my face on fire. I just made an NFT of that song and sold it on that weird thing.

No money. Somebody stole it. Oh, my God. Somebody else got rich. Alright. Looks like half of you are in so I'm going to go ahead and I'm about to move

the map from the Davin Glavin map to the new map of the caves. All I ask is for you to scroll or whatever you got to do to get to the top left of the map.

I got it. Okay. Also if one of you with the fog of war blackness could screen grab this for the listeners. I want to eventually put another batch of these on the old internets. So the only thing that we can see is on the upper left there. Correct. You can see

sort of into the cave where the I'll start revealing more of the cave as you go. Okay. It harkens back to when you were in a cave the last time you first landed in David Levin. Yes, Blaine? I was just about to say, I love looking at our characters and seeing Nathan with the bunny ears. It's just

a delight every time. Speaking of bunny ears, Princess Cosby says, we can do this, Nathan. It seems quite simple. We go into the caves and either they're good or not. What was that last? Either they're good or they're not good.

Yes, yes. They could also be, you know, sewer creatures ready to eat us. But this definitely seems the way to go. Have you killed a sewer creature before, Nathan? I'm just guessing. I'm not speaking from experience so much as, you know, odds are something's going to try and eat us. All right. Well, sounds not great.

No. Is that a wizard skill you're using to tell me something might eat us? Or is that like just a cynical hunch? That's just a general bias against sewers that I have. Fair enough. Well, you see an opening ahead. You guys head into the sewers. It's getting

hudsuckery in here. I will say, of course, this is not quite sewer looking yet. You're hoping it will turn out to look like a sewer. If you could all just scoot your tokens past those three boulders, I will reveal the sort of area right by the cave there. like a sewer if you could all just scoot your tokens past those three boulders i will reveal

the sort of area right by the cave there so as you enter there's this big sort of opening um there's obviously this dripping noises of when there was a high tide and this area was a little more underwater. You see three ways you can go. There is the Northeast, Southeast, and the Southwest. Can we start pretty quick to like in this chamber, things are reasonably well lit,

but every direction it's, it seems to get dark. things are reasonably well lit, but every direction it seems to get dark. Is there a way for us to be able to calculate which direction we should go towards the city? Can we get

a vibe of which direction takes us inland? A vibe. So would you like to roll insight checks or would you like to rely on Sarah's innate abilities? What are we doing here? We can do both. I'll roll an insight if that's a problem.

Go for it. 5 plus 6, 11 so no. Anyone wants to roll, you can. Looks like Brian might be. Yeah, 17. Roll dice. Nice. 17. Roll dice. I'm trusting in Iva's innate ability.

All right. Is that it? No, I want to roll. I want to roll. I want to roll. Roll. Roll. Roll.

Insight, right? Yes. Turn it down. You say 19. 16 plus 3. Oh, shit. So that's pretty good. Sarah, you are having a hard time figuring out which path

because these are all so blind. You do get a moment where you and Danny look at us and you're like, the middle path looks like it's about to end in a dead end. The one to the southeast, probably not the way. We could peek in it, maybe, but there's probably nothing there. We don't want to bother with the southeast one um but both you and danny get a sense that there's like maybe the sound of trickling water to the to the northeast and there's definitely a long tunnel and a curve

to the southwest and the southwest is that going towards the town did i miss that sorry um the town is actually uh it's it's north but it's hard to tell because the these turns are so sharp which one's eventually going to go to the north but we didn't you say that the northeast seemed the most probable? Northeast or southwest, not the middle one, the southeast. You narrowed it down to two rather than three. I hear north and northeast, and that seems to be where we're going. Feels like if we have to 50-50 it,

we might as well pick the one that at least is starting in the right direction. Yeah. Let's do it. Alright. So you guys head down that tunnel. If you please use your tokens, don't make me drag all your tokens. What, down here? Mm-hmm.

Up there, actually. Yeah. So you guys reach the edge of a pool i'm gonna say uh you stop there because it looks pretty deep there's a platform in the middle of rock this sort of plateau and the room stops on the plateau however there is a ring of skeletons all leaning against something. They look like they've got their back to something, but the, the rocky pedestal is just high enough. You can't quite see what's behind the skeletons. The skeletons have equipment on or clothes or anything,

just skeleton. Yeah. They've all got armor on, but the armor is in really rough shape. It looks like they might've been here for a long time. It's very, very, armor is in really rough shape. It looks like they might have been here for a long time. It's very quiet in here. The room, of course, is dark

because there's not a lot of sunlight refracting into this part of the cave. You're just far enough in that it's hard for light to get in here. The water is incredibly dark. You can just peer over the edge and see it goes a surprising depth for such

a small little chamber. The chamber itself is only about what is that like? 25 feet in diameter and the rocky pedestals just like 8 feet in diameter. We don't know what they're leaning against?

It's hard to see. It's about five feet higher than the highest, the tallest one of you. So it's difficult to see what they're leaning against. Looks like they've all got their back against something. All right, well, let's climb up on someone's shoulders. Somebody lift little Iva up. I will. All right, Iva, you climb up on Tootie's shoulders.

Give me a perception check, Iva. All right. Will do. all right Iva you climb up on Tootie's shoulders give me a perception check Iva all right will do that is bad I climb down shamed and

use your halfling luck Iva I don't want to waste that luck point that I might need for something else when someone else can just climb up there

what about this cute little bunny lady? Oh, you'd like me to go browsing? Climbing? What is the idea you have for me? Okay, or anybody else? No, I just wanted to

know what your idea was. Don't talk down to me, ma'am. Anyway, Danny, do you think he needs a real attitude adjustment? Anyone who wants to climb up on 2D's shoulders? I will climb up on 2D's shoulders. Sure, we go climbing

upon shoulders. Who wants it? Very well, Nathan. Looks like you're in the lead or something. What is this perception? Yep. 16. Yeah, they're leaning against something that looks like it might be a wooden chest.

Oh. And they're facing away from it? They're in a circle. There's four of them. Their backs are all to it as if they're leaning their backs out but they're in a sitting position their arms dead and limp at their sides skeletal hmm

I can teleport over there I don't know if I can bring that back, though. It seems like some sort of horrible trap. How about detect evil? Or, let's see, divine sense. No, that's fine. I'm sorry.

I don't have detect evil. Yeah, I wonder if there's something in the water that they were defending themselves against. Divine sense, you say? Sorry. Does anybody have detect evil? No, right. That's more a location thing.

Doesn't sound like it. We got a bunch of quiet cuties. What do you think about me going over there and taking a look? Nathan, you're quite powerful. I say you teleported over there. You just be very careful, young man.

All right, I will misty step. All right. So you're going to plunk right up there. You land right between two of the skeletons. There's just enough room for the four of them to sit. And in the middle, there is a wooden chest. One of the skeletons has his arm behind his back, and his skeletal hand is still clutching one of the handles that's used to lift the chest up the lid is closed the latch is closed it appears to have a small keyhole on it

the skeletons um their armor is just old enough and falling apart enough that it looks like there might have been a lot of damage to it. In addition to it aging, it doesn't look like maybe they've been there longer than 10 years, but it does look like they were either fighting something or they, they, they'd been affected greatly with physical damage before they died. I am going to use my divine sense.

Sorry. I just want to check if they're good or evil. I miss it. I misread. Um, you don't sense good or evil. Um, Nathan,

I'm going to have you do a strength saving throw. Oh dear. Not my forte. I'm afraid. Strength saving throw. Yes. So that's a uh with my negative one that's a three um you go to walk um to the side a little bit to get a better angle on the chest and you just suddenly have a hard time lifting your leg up it It's in your hands. Start to feel like they're being pulled down towards the ground.

It almost as if you weigh twice as much as you usually do. Oh, it seems as if the rock is, has some sort of magnetic power that is dragging you towards it. Do I feel like it's specifically metal stuff? I'm going to throw, I'll do an insight check. Nathan,

just Nathan. Only Nathan is on the Rocky pedestal. Only Nathan rolls an insight check. He can only, only he can feel it. 13 might be. However, you definitely are feeling it like all the ways through the ends of your

extremities. Weird. I will share that. I'm suddenly quite heavy. Rope, rope. I'll take a rope. Okay. Can you do a misty step only once?

No, I can do it again. Should I get out of here, do you think? I think so. I think that's why those skeletons are dead stuck against it all right as as you throw the rope you you notice the end of the rope kind of makes a weird thud against the side of the rock right before the edge of it nathan you feel like you could almost reach over the edge of the pedestal and grab the rope where it's stuck, like just a few inches short of making it over, but it just kind of goes

and just sticks there in a very strange way. Like it's heavy or like there's a spell that pulls things down. I'm attracted to it or something. Maybe a little bit of both, Nathan. All right, I will misty step away you arrive back on the shore

well I'll pull on the rope it's very hard do a strength check straight strength okay hard. Do a strength check. Straight strength. Okay. I save it for yanking stuff, kicking in doors, and the like.

That is a 22. 18 plus 4. Yeah, you pull it off, it goes but you really like almost pop a shoulder doing it like oh Jesus yeah weird

but it doesn't have any effect on the water it's not pulling the water towards it do a perception check Blaine no seems normal to you okay that was an eight, by the way.

Well, should we just, because of the sort of slightly dead end ship of this, do we want to look at that south? Yes, let's explore some more. West tunnel? I like that idea. Just to take a look. Bailing on the treasure, maybe?

For now. The maybe treasure? All right. Please. Oh, I forgot to move Caspia after nagging you guys tokens heading southwest. Don't I was not here always nag us to keep

stealing. Rude. All right. You guys all peer down this cavern and you see there is a blind corner at one point. But you could take it pretty far down. Oh, over here. Okay.

Okay. Let's do it. Maybe it'll circle back. Is that where I am? All right. You want to peek in there? That's where we're going. Okay.

You look. Yes. You peek in that thing that the other two, they sensed this was a dead end earlier, but you're going to just give it a little peeky peek. A little peeky peek of people. Inside, there is a pool surrounded by rocks and it also looks unusually deep all right seeing it i'll tell i'll tell them what i see okay

you're gonna head down that tunnel with the rest of them yeah let's do do it. It's about 35-40 feet. You guys all make it to the end. Are you being careful? Are you riding out? Why don't I get a stealth check from everybody, please? 13 plus 4, 17. Caspia got a 15.

14. 25. 22. Everybody beat 10? Yes. I don't know if you heard me. I got a 25. I did. That's amazing. Oh, yeah. You blend into

the air somehow. Oh, God. Where did. That's amazing. Oh, yeah. You blend into the air somehow. Oh, God. Where did I ever go? 10. You're like the last air blender. Brian, what'd you get? 10. Oh, just barely. My threshold, you passed it. Okay. Make it around the

corner. You see there is a large chamber ahead. There is another sort of sort of cliff like the last room you were in.

It's a little tricky to tell what is on the other side. Should we get some torches going at this point? I mean, we're not all elves. Yeah, you can all light up some torches. I can see, but whatever. I'm thinking of my bunny friends. Yes, we can't see anything.

Especially all those cosmetics in your eyes. It's awful. It is. That's why I left. this is an old game before there were rules about that so y'all light up torches do you head to the end of the tunnel there i see tootie wants to i wanna sure yeah let's do it all right you guys all peer over the edge here. I'm going to have you all do one more perception check. Perception. Perception. 20.

20 plus 2. 2-2. I'm just a 2-2-2-2. We perceive. 9. 9 for me too alright those of you who got over 20

are really clearing some visuals here there is a couple of clear paths forward you could either go farther east or you could go farther south

it's difficult to tell you can see the way the pool's formed you you have to regardless either go across over or through the pool or around the north edge the, the cliff in front of you that goes into the water ends on your right. But on the left, it goes like a, there's like a, like a four foot gap that goes like along the wall around the other side. Um, and, uh, again, screen caps would be good, but you guys basically you're overlooking a pool. Can't go to the right. You could try to sneak left. You could try to go over the pool. And there's either east or south goals you could have for paths to exit.

How high is the water, Mama? Definitely seems... Is it deep? Hmm? You peer over the edge, and it does look very deep. It looks clear. It looks like you can see pretty far, and it just keeps going is it moving at all rippling so your perception check again and compare it to the last time you rolled so low uh

16 16 10 6 you know um it does seem to just lap up strangely against the sides of the rock. I toss a single ball bearing into the pool. All right. Do a perception check of what happens to ball bearing. Twelve?

You could just barely see when the ball bearing goes in it doesn't look like you can really see it instead there's like a trail of very thin line of bubbles that kind of goes down and you hear a hissing noise as soon as it hits the water all right so i think i think it could probably hurt us this water so let's maybe try to yes let's try to edge around the north side of it here on this walkway on that little ledge yeah i mean it looks like it how wide is it about four feet yeah the smallest that's walkable right so five at its biggest yeah shouldn't be too bad Let's do one at a time, I think, because it could be brittle or maybe something will attack us

in the rocks or something. I'll go first since it was my idea. All right, Iva, let's get an athletics check, please. Okay. Okay, I'm going to go ahead and use a luck point on that one. Yeah.

Oh, no. that was worse uh i am gonna definitely use a luck point on the two that i just wow you got some cold dice lately okay 14 yeah you make it to the other side or just fine did you want to go about here uh by the east where... I'm sorry, I tried to ping and it didn't work. Yeah, over there? Yeah. Who's going next? I will go next. Let's get that athletics check, Tootie.

Do the rocks appear to be stable? do the rocks appear to be stable uh it's it's like loose gravel on top of it i got a 27 oh you you don't kick loose a single bit of gravel as you use that luck point and make it over towards iva who's up next hey don't the rest of us have like climbing gear from when we went up the duck penis so I feel like some pitons in the wall that could they maybe get advantage you know yeah use something harnesses and such you

you could create some sort of harness or something but you'd have to tell me what it is because this is not exactly like climbing yeah just trying to help you guys out but good luck to you see you soon I'll go all right Nathan this is what is it just athletics but good luck to you see you soon I'll go alright Nathan what is it just athletics

athletics boss you're strong bunny what could possibly happen I have a negative bonus 14 oh yep you make it across just fine when I go across maybe I'll like tink tink tink a piton into the wall and maybe like tie off a rope so that there's like a handhold for people.

Cool. Anyone want to go next? Sure. All right, Brian, you get to roll athletics with advantage. You can roll it twice and take the high number because you're using rope that goes along some catches that Nathan tinkered in there for you. Cool. 12. Yep.

You make it across, you get towards the rest of the party. I needed that. Cause my other one was eight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Uh, I'll go. Jeff Cospia looks at you and goes, go right ahead. Jeff. I got a 20 with a plus one, 21. Jeez. Lovely.

And Kaspia needs that second roll too, gets a 17. All right. How would you all like to proceed? Well, it looks like I mean, we're here. Is this actually a passageway? Yeah, it looks like it. We can check. I mean, you can see a little bit deeper.

Because I'll keep going because we do want to end up going north, so it seems like we should head down that way, which is east. Ivo, why don't you do a perception check as you approach okay that's a natural 20 22 on 2222 there's some um there's some hopping rocks um also uh seems to keep going to the left end to the right but not too far ahead um but left is north

the direction you eventually want to end up and you hear what sounds like a like a almost like a rhythmic low buzzing noise coming from the left to the north where we're going to go so um do you guys want me to scout ahead do you mind try

I'll do it if you don't want to um yeah how's your stealth and and athletic yeah you're good right go ahead yeah hop on those rocks and don't get uh boiled alive by the weird acid okay especially the brown acid don't do the brown acid good luck danny where are the rocks right in front of you? Yeah, see where Iva is? Yeah. Why don't you roll a perception check?

Okay. 20. 17 plus 3. Great. You hear the same low buzzing. It's like a very deep like coming from the north end of this passage. It's hard to see because

of how dark it is. But there's more to the left and to the right. You're just going to have to hop on at least that first rock to see very far. And you think it's pretty close. No matter how heavy you might feel when you land on that rock,

it's like a little foot-wide jump over that water. You could do it without an athletics check, but if you want to do it quietly, you do have to do a stealth check. Uh, do it without an athletics check.

Okay. Yeah. But do a stealth. Okay. There's a noise that might cover any sound. It's yeah. You don't. Oh, 17.

17. Yep. All right. Yeah. there seems to be something uh like okay so go ahead and put your token on that first rock right in front of there brian uh right here there to the lower right no like down a little bit that's the only one that's really close enough with solid footing that you can get to okay cool you get onto that rock and you see the cave actually ends to the north and there is a very large very large glowing rock that is sitting on the far North rock that seems to be emitting,

um, a buzzing noise. And can you, can you do also a, a perception check Danny? So this isn't the way out. It looks like 21.

Um, 21 you also hear what sounds like very soft incomprehensible whispers coming from the rock just going I've heard of this it looks like glowing red like magma is coming out of this rock the pedestal it's on seems just fine not glowing red magma is coming out of this rock. The pedestal, it's on, seems just fine. Not glowing red, but it's

like this dome that's about as large as the Castaway Cuties put together emitting these noises. A dome? Yeah. A rocky dome, like a big rock

that's just sitting on top of this pedestal it seems to be made of uh almost magma sitting on top of what's otherwise slate weird does anybody have a detect evil or anything or magic i can detect magic i can detect good or evil do it a divine sense again no good no evil can I detect magic um yeah what is that can you give us a description of detect magic again

for the duration you sense the presence of magic within 30 feet if you sense magic in this way you can use your action to see a faint aura or on any visible creature or object that bears magic spell can penetrate most barriers is blocked by one foot of stone one inch of common metal a thin sheet lead, or three feet of wood or dirt. That's mud. Wood or dirt is mud.

That's what Brian was having for his delicious treat before. Yeah. Eye mud is also a good episode of Star Trek. So he has to have it in his eye lock. Yeah. So you have to get out of that rock with Danny to see it. Alright. Be careful. And you said make a stealth check?

Yes, sir. Uh, 24. Great. You hop across. Um, Danny, you know, you're able to hear the noises after Danny kind of like whispers it to you. You cast detect magic.

You do not hear or sense anything that seems to actually be magic. Ooh, maybe it's an egg or something. Yikes. Or a nest, like a wasp's nest. Danny? Does it sound organic? Like it could be bees now that he's suggested that. But yeah, is it actually whispering words?

It sounds like gibberish. It's so quiet. Just on the edge of hearing, you can't make out any consonants or sounds. Other than just... An insane wasp nest. Oh my god. Wasps nest. The worst.

We can't steal it. What does it look like again? Does it have anything to do with noodles? A large rock of magma just sitting on top. Does it remind us of noodles at all? A little tiny bit, yeah. of magma just sitting on top. Does it remind us of noodles at all? Aww. A little

tiny bit, yeah. Does that give me... We head back and down, you guys? It's much... It's about as big as 30 noodles is. So it's... Yeah. Got that going. So maybe there are a bunch of noodles inside.

Ooh. Maybe it's a noodle nest. There's a dog down the tunnel. Let him hear you say that. I mean, Danny, I could be wrong, but we should probably just leave a nest alone, right? There's no treasure over there. No, no, I think we should go back and down.

Danny's been sitting there the whole time. I was blacked out. Apparently you guys already walked away from some treasure. So I guess we're just, this episode is just us walking away from treasure. Kind of. It was the gravity well was pulling me down. Oh no.

Whatever could you do? Sorry, that was Sarah and not Iva. My apologies. I just wanted some. Wow. I just wanted some loot. It's been so long since we got anything good happen to us.

All right. Let's head out then. Where are we at on time, by the way? My audio recording crapped out, so I can't see how long I've been recording. We have eight minutes. Beautiful. Okay. So the plan is to head back to the south

pass? Can we see any further? Danny and I to the south pass can we see any further danny and i on the stonework can we see any further south in this in this chamber uh yeah so it looks like there is another tunnel and a shore um it goes you can see about this far. You can't tell if it meets up with the other path or not. Okay. Well, why don't we go see, like you said, Danny, let's go see the other one. And if we have to come back, we will. Looks like it's kind of dead ending.

All right, let's go. Yeah, I don't know if you can see but there is an opening in that wall so if you did choose to keep going to the right of the rock you guys are in you could make it across to a different tunnel

where you can go back towards where Iva's token is the south in the big chamber yeah I think the other way looks easier you guys gonna hop back? yes let's hop back Iva's token is, the south and the big chamber. Yeah, I think the other way looks easier. You guys going to hop back? Yes. Let's hop back. I'm going to need you both to make an athletics check with disadvantage.

Not that advantage. I'm going to use a luck point I'm going to try and catch one of them if I need oh that's worse what was it Dan? athletics?

athletics with disadvantage sir so that's a zero what'd you get, Danny? That means rolling it twice, right? So, I'm taking the lowest number. Fuck. Six. Can I try and grab anything?

All right, Tootie. Yeah, well, here's the thing. So, Tootie, you see both of them try to jump off of the rock, and they're stuck to this pedestal, right? So, they try to go, and they're stuck to this pedestal right so they try to go and they put all their might into it but as they jump they kind of get pulled and so they almost just float in the air

grab the edge I'm going to need um I'm going to need uh let's see what kind of we doing here um both your feet land in the water both of you but it's not water is it

no it's water he said water so it has to be water wouldn't it be great if it was like chili like edible chili yes oh my god that would be awesome delicious what if it's like chili mac yeah delicious

but like from Marie Callender's and not from Chili's you both take four four points of acid damage It tastes like chili mac. Yeah, delicious. But like from Marie Callender's and not from Chili's. You both take four points of acid damage. Yeah. Tootie, do an athletics check. I'm going to try that again with a luck. Okay, 24. Yeah, you managed to yank them both up guys you're hissing and it's

making a lot of noise you fell in um all of a sudden you hear a great uh rumbling coming from the magma stone that you guys left there uh tootie

danny and nathan it starts to turn into that you guys left there. Tootie, Danny, and Nathan, it starts to turn into a crunching. You hear this get louder and louder. Run. And before you can start running, you do see rising and starting to peer towards you a large bear that seems to be made of magma rock. It leans up and stands,

and as it roars, it spits white, hot magma chunks out into the acid where it lands and hisses. And we'll have to figure out exactly what happens next on the next episode. I said run. Little Mr. Sizzle Shoes is going to make a break for it. I am the magma bear. Hey, Sam, what do you think happened?

Hi. Oh, boy. Guys, much like the Muppets, we are moving right along. We're in a chamber with some skeletons, but what are they leaning on? Nathan went to find out, but is being dragged towards a rock, just like Joe Rogan. We're in a tunnel, lighting some torches. Now we're climbing, but not exactly climbing. We hear a rhythmic buzzing.

I'm going to be so excited if I find out this game has electric bees in it. Never mind, it's just a regular glowing rock full of whispers. Chris said the phrase a dome like he had never heard the word dome before we walked away instead of poking it and ended up and we ended the episode by hearing a crunch and seeing a magma bear which sounds

bad but it could be worse it could be a maga bear my tour dates can be seen at brianhussain.com and then I'm always working on comical books and when I actually have something that's going to be in the stores I will tell you I've got some stuff, 420 is looking like there probably will be a signing in LA

with me and Jerry Duggan and Scott Koblish somewhere for our 420 book that's coming out through Image. It's called The Secret Wars Against The Secret Wars Against Marijuana or something like that.

But it's really silly. It's a straighter title than it it is it's a very silly book blaine oh uh i'm still waiting for stacy to get back he went back in time again to fix the babe ruth thing and then accidentally saved the lindbergh baby who turned into hitler so it's all fucked up he's got to come back timing on that it was a little confusing so it's all fucked up. He's got to come back. The timing on that is a little confusing. Yeah, it's really, it's bizarre. I don't pretend to understand time travel.

Well, thanks for listening. You know what? Thanks for listening to another episode of Nerd Poker. You can follow us at patreon.com slash nerdpoker, and you get bonus episodes from there. And you can also send us anything at P.O. Box 16069, Encino, California, 91416. Thanks for listening.捨てたくない