Nerd Poker - The Fog Campaign - Episode 13

Episode Date: April 1, 2025

The antics return to Brian's dining room, where the drow bounty hunter is now the hunted. Will he escape through the fog or be brought into brutal submission and be interrogated? We all know how cool drow are, so he's probably just a chill dude who will get away. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.  

Our friends at Hero Forge are making custom dice. Contribute to the Kickstarter now through April 4th for your chance to get rewards like... Early access to Dice Maker, a standard or XL D20, a regular mini, statuette or prototype, Ultra HD Mini. Or even design your own decal, handheld item or outfit to be added to Hero Forge. Check the link in our bio and our social media. The Hero Forge custom dice Kickstarter ends when, Blaine? April 4th! Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!

So what, so should they hurry? Yeah, hurry! Oh God, hurry! Hey, it's Brian Poseyne, nerd poker. We're calling it The Zod Campaign. My friends are here, Chris, Blaine, Ken, Engineer Sam, and of course our kickass DM Dan Telfer. Welcome to Nerd Poker. Hey everybody, it's Brian Pasand. You're listening to Nerd Poker. Oh shit, let me get that. It's Blaine calling. Hello, Brian. Hey, I'm circling for talking.

I can't, I can't, there's something freaking, oh my god, website just ran over something. Hold on! Hey, Blaine, you're already in the house doing a voice. What? You're right next to me. Hold on, let me check. You've got your hand up against your mouth so it sounds like you're calling from something. Oh my god, you're not kidding? Oh, what? Yeah, that's you. You're right. I'm touching you. Oh my. Touching you. Wow. I'm touching you. I'm touching you. Oh no. We're doing episode 13. It's already gonna be weird. Oh my god. I had, I just had the weirdest dream. That's Blake. Chris is here watching

Blake have a dream. I mean, I am a simple dream watcher. Ken's here looking at his phone. Oh, hi. What's going on? Checking. Yeah, they're fucking crashing like crazy. Hmm. Gold's up, though. Dan's here. Hi. I just blew up a bank that might be why the stocks are going crazy. I don't think that's it. No. Oh, is it civilization blowing apart?

Is that what you're trying to tell me? That could be. I just want to talk about the end of the table, you guys. Oh, yeah. Running things. Muscles. Sam, everybody. Hello, sweet children. Hello, Sam.

Oh, you guys. That's a first. Oh, he's a rookie. Sam, Sam, can you buzz me in? Sam, buzz me in. Explain your inside. Oh, Sam, can you buzz me in? Sam, buzz me in. Explain your inside. Oh, I forgot, sorry. That guy's crazy. No improv Brian is fun. I like that one.

No Ant Brian. No way. What is the weirdest improv scene starter I can do and just listen for Brian to say, no, that's not true. But stuff. We're in a dentist's office. No, you aren't. You are not.

You're right here at my kitchen table. We're recording. Have you forgotten? I'm just going to mime a bunch of this episode and make Brian wonder why I'm not using real things. I'll mime the dice. It's a commercial directed by Hitchcock. No it's not. Shall I thank some people? Yeah please. You know what? Do it. Yes and too yes and. Oh, now you'll yes and, of course. Thank you to all of our Patreon supporters. Those of you at the top two tiers, what a treat it is to get to play because you contribute.

You have usernames like Totus Emptor. Thank you Totus. Thank you Kilt Bill. Thank you The Electric Bear. Thank you The Great Rando Calrissian. Thank you Brandon Blackburn Alderman, 71st Ward, Dildo District. Thank you Prop The Great Rando Calrissian. Thank you, Brandon Blackburn Alderman, 71st Ward, Dildo District. Thank you, PropMeet.

Thank you, Dangwayne Half-Step. Thank you, Come Meet the Mountain Campaign. Thank you, I don't get it. Thank you, Old Portland Stew. Thank you, Steinmetz Pianos and then Glibble's Voice. It says to do a Glibbles voice. I'm being pimped. That's an improv term.

We didn't come for a piano tutor! And then it says Gaga voice. Now we're about to level spilled. Thank you Bryce Spider Lisser. Thank you Builder Upfront. Jibbering Mouther in the back. Thank you Randy Butternubs. And finally thank you Glibbles is proud level one improv class teacher.

Blaine, who are the supporters brought to us by? Supporters brought to us by Sweet Potato Fries. Chewy, weird, disappointing. Sweet Potato Fries, only three dollars more. And DeCon, Andy Dick traps and refillable bait stations. The first line of defense from Andy Dick infestation. Get rid of your Andy Dick problem with Decon. The D is for Dick.

Dan, thanks Blaine. This is a fun one already. Hang on, I'll pick up my water bottle cap. Oh Jesus. That's not right. Did your water break Dan? Oh hold on for a second. Yeah, I'm sorry I'm having a baby.

What a wonderful way to say I love you. All right, it's now time to talk about what happened last time on Nerdpoker. We actually played not that long ago for the first time. 10 years, We played two recordings close-ish to each other. So some of our players may remember. And I'll refresh it for you listeners as well. Everybody was celebrating. They went on over to the tavern and then they almost got blowed up. They almost got blowed up and then they ran blowed up. And then they ran around to the kitchen

where their assassin ran. And by the time they got there, there was nothing but a hell hound waiting for them. So you killed them. I don't know what you did to them. If I remember correctly, you ran out the front of the pasted almond, the tavern in Delsmouth,

and you're now in the town square near the fountain, which if we use our minis shortly, if you're dodging and chasing an assassin, that could happen. You could use these lovely candle holders to represent the fountain with all the coins stuck to the bottom of it. But you guys are all in the town square of Dellsmouth near where you first began your adventure.

There's smoke, tendrils of smoke pouring just into this fog and like leaving these little snake trails of black smoke and the thick green fog. I'm gonna say it's a great time for a dungeon master to give you a time limit because as I remember it, you were chasing an assassin who gave you the slip, but you were trying to catch him. That's why you fought the dog. I have in my notes at least that you guys hustled out into the street after that.

That sounds right. So you would know as you skid to a halt in front of the Paced Almond that it seems as though you're going to have quite a task ahead of you if you're gonna catch the assassin. So I'm first gonna start with a perception check and after the second I'm done describing it I'm starting a timer that I'll stop and start, but it's basically like a second to minute thing of like, if I, if I hear you guys talk and like, it sounds like a full turn, I'll be like, okay, six seconds went by, six seconds went by, six seconds went by. But if I can't, I'm going to look at the timer to like help me tie it all together.

And I know listeners don't always like when I rush you guys but you're chasing somebody there's conversation for too long and won't work it won't fit so perception check y'all 17 plus 10 great 17 I got a 17 actually Perception. Perception. Hmm, guess I can get. Oh, actually my new passive perception is 20. That's right, you went up. Oh, nice. 24. 18 plus three, 21. Oh my gosh. Jeez Louise.

We're all perceptive and shit. Sure are. Spicoli, what you got? 26. Holy fuck. Oh, 24, sorry. Okay, okay. Well, we have three over 20s for perception.

It's very, very quiet and very difficult to see. You guys are in this fog in the daylight and there's this really kind of lose-lose situation with the fog here when there's sun out, it kind of fills the fog up, makes a lot of the fog reflect at you. So you see this bright edge of the fog rolling at you constantly. There's only tiny little moments where you think you catch glimpses of things

before a thicker fog rolls between you and something five feet away. Then at night, even the spaces between the wafts of fog are black, so it's daylight. And with a 22 and two 24s, I don't really need to roll for the paper, I'll do it anyway.

He botched. So. It's like I want paper, I mean. Exactly. I should have rolled disadvantage when it's a visual thing. He's doing it one paper. I mean. Exactly. I should have enrolled disadvantage when it's a visual thing. He's doing it. I'm going to shoot everyone in the car.

Okay. Well, here comes Sam. Here comes me actually describing. It's a missed reference. He should have been making out. You do not see footsteps. You do feel like you can't have gotten far. And you feel like with all the setup, he is nearby.

But even with a 24, I'd say the only real benefit you're gonna get here is nominal. But I had one if he hit a 20 and a 24, I'll give you some spice. So he must have run East. I don't know if you have your maps handy, but east is kind of towards the sea. Northeast is where the Thieves Guild and the manor is that you blew up. He must have run that way because there's like town guards like you hear like shouting in the distance to the west.

And you figure if he'd run that way he would be getting caught and he wouldn't be that dumb because that's right where the city gate is so he might have run that way but because he ran around and the only alley is pointing east he at least exited the block east and you guys are in front, south of the tavern right now. I'm now hitting the start button. I'm going to follow my nose. Okay. It always does. Call out. The flag is free. I don't know what that means. Wherever it goes. We're in pursuit. To the east. Book it east? Okay.

Let's get a survival check from everybody. Survival. Survival. Survival. 19 plus 6, 25. Golly! Holy cats. Meow. Nice low 10.

18 plus 4, 22. My gosh. 22. Holy shit. Same as... Wow. Well, I mean again, little peepers, I'm just going to have him roll. You got this, little peepers.

I don't know. Did not break 20. So as you run east, you can tell he did plant his foot at least once. And it must have been him because there is a sole footprint in some thick morning dew slime that is formed on the cobblestone. Gross. I used to drink that when I played D&D that and eat pizza. Absolutely real good. I preferred Baja Blast morning deuce line. That's what I would do after.

Sarco is drinkin' that shit. I mean pizza is the ultimate D&D food cloud-posted by Taco Bell. All right. Well, uh, you're going to head and you see the one footprint. Uh, do, do, do, do, do. I am going to pull up Dells mess. Pull up Dells man. Think, think, think, think, think, think. We have one legged friend was carrying.

Hey, leg. You can tell that he is headed back towards Zalorek's manor. Interesting. Now you know that this is where there starts to get less cover. There are flat sort of London-like building fronts. These brick buildings are very rectangular, don't have a lot of creative architecture on them. And then on the east side of this street with these very boring, they're nice-ish apartments made of like nice stone, but they're old and they're not complex and they're made to last

the weather. There's these manors on the east side of the street and you can tell that he headed towards the bushes. Right now those bushes are, you know, to the right and the left. You guys just very flamboyantly exited this. If you remember, there was a real party, narratively speaking, because you blew everything up. And right now you notice there is four just scuzzy-looking dudes standing around. None of them are drow. None of them look capable of a thoughtful assassination. But passive insight, at least one of you would be like, okay, maybe the people, the Thief's Guild found somebody

to like watch this guy's house, and they've replaced the gnome automatons out front. Okay. Scuzzy security guys. And we think the assassin ran into the bushes, you're saying? The footprint is pointed at the bushes in an intersection in such a way that it almost seems like he must have climbed up the, you know, like 10 foot high topiary, like tightly manicured wall of bush

to go into. We have of bush. To go into, we have wall of bush. Into like the front courtyard. It's not a big courtyard, but it is. Curtis Armstrong. Got privacy bushes. Hey, I'd like to cast arcane eye and shoot it over towards the bushes. Can you remind all this?

That's cool. Arcane eye does? It's a new thing. You create an invisible, invulnerable eye within range that hudders for the duration. You mentally receive visual information from the eye, which you can see in every direction. It also has dark vision with a range of 30 feet.

Holy catsy. As a bonus action, you move the eye up to 30 feet in any direction, a solid barrier blocks the eye's movement, but the eye can pass through an opening as small as one inch in diameter. Like an octopus. All right, so you're going to float it up over the bushes? Over the bushes, yeah. Okay. And you see it kind of... And are you getting... I'm just trying to remember the exact point of view you have.

Are you like seeing what it sees or is it? I mentally receive visual information from the eye, which you can see in every direction. Oh, you're right. It's like an orb or like Google Earth camera. An arcane eye. Yeah. Ken, do you like to imagine it looks like, I know it's invisible, but like I would imagine if you saw it, does it look like one of your character's eyes as a globe?

It looks like the Von Dutch flying eye. Oh, cool. Bloodshot gold wings. But it's invisible, so who knows what it looks like. But it just wanted me inside my head. And you're controlling it. And now all of you. Yeah. You do catch a glimpse of the drow. He is perched on the roof of the third floor.

He is flattened up against the shadows. But he is not like hiding with great... He was not expecting a floating eyeball. No one expects that. Are you going to try to like dodge the eyeball out of the way before he sees it? Hiding with great. He was not expecting a floating eyeball. No one expects. Are you going to try to like dodge the eyeball out of the way before he sees it? It's invisible. It can't be seen. OK, so I'm not worried about that. But if you could see it, it would look like a Von Dutch and it's blood.

John's got these glowing. He was a notorious epic. I might. Again, yeah. We're back in. I don't have to sit out for 10 minutes. They're picking up your ass. Good bits, Chris. Good bits.

Wee. How did something happen during that break? We all grew up a little bit. You know, growing up is, it's more than just getting bigger. The other thing. That's right. It's the friends who make it bigger. I can't wait. But partially about getting bigger. Yeah, I can't wait to get bigger.

When does that happen? It'll be 41 in April. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm't wait. But partially about getting bigger. Yeah, I can't wait to get bigger. When does that happen? I'll be 41 in April. Do you know the video game of Oud that just came out?

Yes. It's Obsidian and... Right? I think it's Obsidian. Bioware is Dragon Age. But like, there's every once in a while some humor where I'm like, oh, you guys are great. And there's this moment like halfway through the game, we're talking about this like dead god that's like all chained up. You're trying to figure out information about it. It's named Sepidol. And someone who's like an enemy asks you like, did you ever find

out what Sepidol was? And one of the dialogue options is maybe the real Sepidol was the friends we made. That's so hard. That's great. Just in the context of that, it was really, really, really funny. And they don't do it too often, so you don't see it coming when they get goofy. Yeah. It's a good game. So yes, the arcane eye is spotting. What's the name of the game?

It's a Foud. It's hard to remember. It's weird, but it's a... Do you ever play Pillars of Eternity? I've had Sevenfold, yeah. Yeah. No, I've never played it. About Sevenfold?

It's a band. Oh, okay. I know. Avenged, Sevenfold. Yeah. Yeah, was a... It's a band. Okay. I know. Event sevenfold. Yeah. Yeah. It's good.

It's like Skyrim for this other isometric fantasy universe. I know. Put it in my notes. Go ahead. So, yeah, you spot him now. My question was, before we paused, was do you try to duck the eye out of the way? Do you trace him? Yeah, we try to keep an arcane eye on him. Okay. Nice. And I have reread it now a couple of times. It's very similar to the little, I forget if they call them arcane eyes or eyes of scrying in Baldur's

Gate 3, but they they're not invisible and other than that I think they're like exactly the same. These little floating spy eyes for I think in that game it's like ye olde drone. Yeah it's invisible it's pretty great. I like it. I'm thinking in Phantasm but no but you can't see it. You can't see it doesn't make a noise and it doesn't suck your brains out. So Shalabra lays to everyone that he is up on the roof of this building. Up on the roof. All right, let's, maybe now's a good time. So we're on the other side of this high finish. Inside the gate now, basically?

You're outside. You'd have to like ask the security guard type brigand mercs for like entrance. You probably wouldn't have a hard time because the guy loves you now. Great, let's do it. But maybe we can, do we want to bring one of them with us as a little backup?

Sure. Well, that's up to you guys. What do you think? Spicoli, you like what you, I mean, if you trust him, I'll do just let's see. Yeah, let's see what the deal is with these works. Just know that if we want to bring one, you tell us Spicoli. We've always believed in you as a real leader. No, not this game. That was the last guy.

Before all that happens, I wanted to chime in with, this is going to happen right after you guys have that discussion, you notice Shalob that the drought assassin is like pulling, like drawing an air on the bow, but do an insight check first before you respond. Okay Okay I will. That's what the insight check is for. That's a 10. You can't tell what he's aiming at but you know the bush is high enough from his vantage point he could potentially hit you guys. Is he pointing at us? You can't tell with a 10. You're looking at the angle and even with the scrying eye going behind him, you have to get really close, which you can do.

You can put it right over his shoulder if you want. I mean he's drawing the bow already. I'm going to tell everybody to take cover. Yeah, take cover everybody. Let's do it. Okay. You're so... Jesus. Holy shit, that was too loud.

Oh, too loud? It was Blaine. So- Somebody threw a cat into the alley. You're gonna dive into the alley though, so you all like rush in there. Are you gonna like keep an eye on the front of the building as you rush in? And on him, yeah. Okay.

You see him pull all the way back steady and release. You all hear a thwack and a bleh and one of the security guys drops. Oh, shit. The other guys go, oh, shit, and run into the street and

run north and are gone. All right. There'll be no help then. Cowards. But we know where the guy is. Yeah. Let's fuck him up. Let us. He's on the roof. What does this guy look like, Shalab? Oh, I can tell you now finally. He is a drow with long white hair pulled back in a braid. He's wearing very form-fitting black leather with spines on it that look like it's just drought cultural like creepy stuff to resemble Kite and then he has a lot of weapons strapped to him. You see at least four knives, two on each leg and it looks like there's some like smaller throwing knives in a row snapped into his belt. This guy sounds hot. He has a potions pouch on

either hip, a small pack under a black cape. He seems trained mouth away. He's very deadpan expression. I was gonna say Deadpool expression. With all the little packs. Deadpan, in addition to him not making like any emotional faces or get a read on him, you see all that and if you'd like you can roll an insight check and communicate what his deal is with help from me. I will do that. No, just him, he's looking at him. Just the guy looking at him.

That's a waterfall. Just the guy with the floating eyeball over his shoulder. No, just him. He's looking at him. Just the guy looking at him. Well, that's a bonfire. Just the guy with the floating eyeball over his shoulder. No idea. Yeah, you're not sure what this additional context might mean, but you're welcome to hypothesize as a player. So, yeah, I think he's French. Okay. A sexy Frenchman up on the roof.

A lot of weapons up. Trying to attack us. Let's kill him. Well, he knows where we are right now. Yeah, let's get in there. Or can we, can I use the eye to know where he's not looking? Where he could possibly sneak up on him? Right now he is looking at the front of the building.

He's like, like army crawling to the edge of the roof and looking straight down. You guys are not on the lawn yet. So he's looking about 50 feet in front of you. So I'm gonna signal like Baylock and go, whew, whew, whew, oh! What does that mean? So I'm telling them which way to go to get to him.

It's not easy to get to him. There's no obvious way to do it. Even with the arcane eye, he's on the third story roof. And it was very difficult to get up there without flying. I think one of you had a fly spell or something last time you were staking this place out though. I yeah I mean I can fly somebody up there who's good to attack him. Shalob you see him pull something out of his potion. Motherfucking. Pouch. Dick. And he starts circling a finger over the lip of it as he pops a cork out.

Oh yeah. Very sexy. He is muttering something under his breath. He's fucking hot as shit. That better not be oat milk. He lobs the potion bottle and you all hear an explosion. He drops some kind of my erection. He dropped some kind of fire bomb on the open front of Zalarek's manor. The front is like, you know,

like already broken up and he had some probably at some point smiths doing patchwork on it. You could kind of see before you dove in the alley, you know, in the little gate of bushes, like there was some plaster and some some like bricks underneath still kind of sticking out and he must have just nuked the whole front of the building. There's just black smoke coming up from the front of the mansion now. This asshole, how far away is he? He is... is... It is about 30 feet off the ground. Okay. 30, maybe a little more.

I'm going to shoot some fire bolts and then dive for cover. He is in cover and right now Shalob is the only one who can see him with the floating eyeball. So if you fired fire bolts at him, you would not have a place to point. I'm going to cast fear at him. With leaving?

Let me see how this goes. If you like sex, I'll fuck you. I don't. So he is too far away. It is also a concentration spell that would have you drop the arcane eye. You have to be within 30 feet. Well, you could try to make it appear like 30 feet from you and hope it catches his

eye, but it would, you would drop the arc and I, it's a concentration spell. That makes sense. Is there a way we can, like he's seems focused on something else. Can we sneak up and well, that's what I, that's where I'm signaling to you, which way to go to go behind them, basically. Oh, OK. He's now very silently. Just kind of like like back and forth on the front of the building, ducking down low, looking for you guys. Jackass.

Can we attack from a distance? Do we have line of sight on him? No. How do we do that? How do we gain that? You would have to either get the high ground like he has. Again, he's like 30 feet up on this roof that provides a lot of cover. All he has to do is kind of pull back. Okay, I mean, we know he's on the roof.

I'm going to run around the back of the building and scramble up the building. Okay. So you start booking it. You hear a whistling sound. Can I... Is it Elliot Gould in the M.A.S.H. movie? What is your AC?

It is 14, but I have a pretty high stealth. All right, I'll make him roll a perception check before he does this. He did roll a 24 to hit because I was giving it to him that he could see because it was a very well lit out front, but you can do a stealth check. It's just going to be with disadvantage because you're running past a blazing fire in a small yard. Well, that's not true. I will make you roll disadvantage. Just take the first roll. 16 plus 12.

28. Holy balls. He also rolled a 16, but he does not have a plus 12. Oh, you should be blamed. If he was blamed, he would get that plus 12. That's a good thing. Good thing he's not blamed. Yeah. He should be looking for a target, brand.

And that's that, brand. Oh shit. He has almost plus 12. Tough milk, milked it. But he doesn't spot you. So you run around, I'm gonna have you do an athletics check to scramble up the building which of course you're a capper so that's not difficult.

Athletics you said? Yeah boss. 19. Okay. No no no 19. We'll put a tab in that because the other folks have plenty of time to do stuff while you do that so time has elapsed in their neck of the woods. What are you guys gonna do as you see, you know, Siam kind of like run around the back, like right around the fire and rubble? How far is he from the assassin before I drop my eye? How far is Siam spayed? Yeah. Is he still finding the building? I feel like eye. Of our same speed? Yeah.

Is she still finding the building? I need to draw you guys a picture. Yeah, I'm around. I feel like I'm not conveying how how really difficult it is to get eyes on this guy. Right. So like. Oh, so maybe you don't want to drop your arcane is drawing a penis again. He's from the Sark school of D.S. It's always a penis.

Oh, there's the ball. One ball. Sounds like me. Oh, Brian. I have to. Oh, I have one. I have three. One's high up and then one's too. I got one of yours, Dan. Oh, I thought they threw it away.

Medical waste. So how's that farm coming, by the way, can the farm of medical waste that you've been collecting, you're growing something, I can only assume. I'm growing a human boy. Oh. That's not medical waste. Well, I can't remember. OK, I guess probably I've always done. I can't remember the opening. Okay. Go, go, sprout a plant. I'm going to put this here.

If you guys can take a look, I will try to convey. Front of the building. That is the front of the building. And that is the guy. Got it. He's on the roof 30 feet up. This is the exploded front of the building. This is the sort of small open space between the building and the bushes.

It's not to scale, but it's close to scale. And right now it's three of you and Siam Spade is back here and you know, Little Peeper is back there behind you. And he's going up this wall. But you guys are sort of standing here and the hypotenuse is building, even though he blew up a lot of it,

it was mostly the first floor. There's plenty of building here for him to just lean and use this cover. So yeah, we can't see him because he's hiding behind the edge of the building basically. I mean, just with passive insight, you guys would realize you either have to do what Blaine is doing and get on the roof with him, fly or get on a roof across the street if you want to

get eye lines on him. Got it. So I'll give you a second to make a decision before I go back to Blaine's running up the side of the building. So if you want you guys are doing anything. Yeah I can I can get up. Can you get up there? He squints his eyes and you see Ken, he's like trying to trace Siam and loses him. Okay, good. Spicoli, can you get up there? I could try.

Perhaps I could give you a little, and I'll whip up my lute and I'll do like a Bill and Ted inspiration and give him bardic inspiration which means Brian you get to add it for the next 10 minutes you up to 10 minutes you're allowed to add a d8 one time but you can add it to an attack or an ability thing so if you have something you were like oh god I really want to hit him or whatever. This gives you a D8. Can you want to chime in? I'm going to cast. What's it called? A message.

Okay. At him. Okay. To come from beside him. Okay. And I say, you should be more careful. Okay. And I say, you should be more careful. Please do a delightful intimidation check. This is to the guy on the roof? Yeah. It's 120 foot range so you can easily do it. Wait, what was the check? And if you can see on the other side of something through magic, then you can cast right through it right next to it. Wait, web is the check? And if you can see on the other side of something through magic, then you can cast right through it right next to it. Oh, intimidation. Yeah, intimidation check. So 14. You just kind of look side to side and start scooting farther up the building. Okay.

Doesn't seem intimidated. Brian, are you going to try to do like any kind of climbing or anything? Are you going to hold out until you get better eye line? Are you guys going to climb the other side of the building? Yeah, I'll climb up there. Okay. I'll be an athletics check for you as you run around and it's just like one second after Blaine. You're having a hard time grabbing a hold of a pipe on the side of the building to get the rainwater into the gutter, but you're, you're, you know, just not just not doing it yet and Blaine you can sort of see over your shoulder

that Spicoli is starting to try to get up the side. Okay. You easily with the 19 are going to be able to get up there because you specifically you're a cat the DC is higher to just get all the way up to the roof if you're not with a you know species advantage. I'm going to sit there like Heathcliff and just yowl until somebody throws a boot at me. Now are you going to try to hide? Yeah I'm gonna sit there like Heathcliff and just yell until somebody throws a boot at me. Now are you gonna try to hide? Yeah I'm gonna stay low and move until I can see. There's a small rooftop slope between you and the drow. Can I have you do that stealth check? He's gonna work like he has tape on his back. 19 plus 12.

That's what 31? Jesus. Oh my God. 31? You just, into the mist. Brian, why don't you roll another athletics check? I know you're holding onto a D8 guidance. You don't have to use that yet, but you can if you like.

Yeah, 18. Yeah, it's, you got about halfway up the building before. I'm gonna let you get all the way up there, but you know, you've got a good grip on it. You're making your way up. I just got to check in with the other two guys. Okay. Ken, Chris, what are you up to as these guys fan out? Lil Peeper is starting to back up,

you think he's either going to try to fire an arrow himself or get up on a building he's heading out of the lawn? As I as Picoli starts getting up there I'm gonna plink something again on my I'm gonna plink something again on my loot and give him a regular guidance. So Brian that's a D4 you can add in the next minute. So like for example if you need help get climbing up right now. So you've got that and you've got the bardic inspiration. I will use as a fey touched creature, I'm gonna, I'll physically move so I can get close enough to use Misty Step up to the roof, wherever it seems like. What's the distance on Misty Step?

30 feet. Okay. So, it's, it's pretty close. You're gonna be, you know, having to come out of Misty Step and grab a hold of the edge of the roof. Oh, I'd like, it won't put me on the roof, it'll put me close. I think so because, is it a spot you can see? If I touch Misty Step instantaneously,

it's gotta be someplace I believe I can see, I'll see if it's. Cause that's the trick, you can't quite see, but you can see next to the roof and maybe a little tiny bit over. An unoccupied space I can see. So you're looking straight up, you can't see over the roof right now. Does that make sense? Okay, well then.

So like, you know what I mean? Like if this is the front of the building, even if you get right here, you're looking 30 feet straight up. So you can do it. It's just going to be an athletics check to grab the side after you step. All right, I will give myself guidance. Great. And then Misty step and hopefully use the guidance to help myself grab. As you get ready Shaloub Shalab you see Will Peepers kind of across the street. Like he's going up on the roof. Yeah, he's going to go across the street. I got it. Fly up, down. All right.

So, we're getting pretty close to using everything, but I'm going to just straight up take the candles. Be very careful. Take the ribbon from my... This will be building across the candles. Be very careful. Take the ribbon from my... This will be building across the street. Little Peepers is making his way up this building.

The drow is up here. I told you you'd be sorry. We'll use these piranhas for now. What? Piranhas? Thought I brought my... my Drow Assassin fairy. I have a bunch of fishy ones because of this. Sam, how many times have you brought the wrong miniature to something? Almost every day.

God. Story of my life. I put my micro penis to an OG once. Now we're talking. You're talking to me. All right. So you start flying up about the same time as your casting. So what did you say your athletics?

So athletics check. 10 plus 313. And then I would like to add my guidance. You sure would. 13, 14. Okay, so you, and you try to get your hands, like, arms over,

but you just can't get a grip on it. Your fingers start sliding. Can you please do a dexterity saving throw to try to grab the very lip of it and not fall off the roof? Okay, plus four, take this. 16 plus 420. Great, you're like finger tips action movie right now.

Jesus. However, it would occur to you. It's fine. If you have another charge of Misty Step, you could potentially do it again and get on the roof this time because of your position. It's just a, you know, you're clinging upon a rain slick precipice.

So is Roy Batty going gonna grab you before you fall? I mean, it would be the gentlemanly thing to do. As soon as you start hovering, Shlaw. Let go of the dove, please. You're like right here, you're like, okay, I can see the drow, he's waiting to get an eye line and he's like gonna peek over the side of the roof to fire an arrow soon.

What are you gonna, what's your approach gonna be? Like he's here, near the edge, kind of flat on the roof. If you're down here, are you just gonna try to go, like elevator, shoot straight up? Talking to you Ken. Hi, what's going on? What's going on guys? You said you're flying. Hey, what's up on? The last spells. Ken, your character's name is Shalab. What's going on, guys? You said you're flying. Hey, what's up? Yeah, I'm flying, man. This is the reason I've been making eye contact with you for a little while.

You're flying up. Yeah, I'm super high. Not really. I know. Yeah, like, are you going to try and stay out of his view? Like, you can see where he is, but he's going to, like, lean over the thing. The minute I see him, I want to do something oh well you can see him with your eye but you know eyes canceled I think now since I cast about okay okay really can

you do a stealth check with disadvantage disadvantage Disadvantage? Chris. Yes? Can you do a stealth check with disadvantage for Twidden? Is he... A stealth check? This is to represent him sliding off the roof and trying not to just like make a bunch of loud slapping noises near the assassin. Nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine plus 817. Okay that's enough to mention in the cover of the little pitter-patter of drizzle rain you're kind of just kicky kicky kicky you're hanging there you are now which one is you do you have a mini out here? This is me this is Chris okay so you get like right here. These are the people. He has an arrow cocked you're like right here knocked. Cocked. Knocked. Excuse me. Got to read my fantasy thesaurus. Knocked sucker. What do you do? Me? No, talking to Ken because he told me

before I paused me to do that Chris. I'm gonna make a spell on him. What is it? Firebolt. Great. Roll the firebolt. Great. Okay. Plus eight. As you see a little cartoon exclamation point over his head as you fly up over the ridge. The damage is, I'm missing it. Oh, here.

19 points of damage. You did not tell me what you rolled to attack. Sorry. You do have to do that first. Yes. I declare damage upon the villain. I like, I'm going to give the answers, it's going to be a answers are going to be seven.

It was a seven to hit, but definitely actually it was 14 to hit. Oh yeah, that's a mess. So you, you come up. I missed 19 points of damage. It pops next to him and we're going to have everyone roll for initiative. Initiative. When we play our next episode of nerd talker. Oh my God. Sam, what do you

think happened today? Alright, episode 13. We're about to fight a guy with a ton of knives, but he is higher up than us, so we need to get up there to kill him. That's absolutely right. You know, I don't need to know. Grab your partner, no she does. The other guy in the tope. Anything you want to play? Not me, folks. I'm looking need to know your partner. No, she does. The other guy in the top. Anything you want to put on me, folks? I'm looking forward to this. I'm going to be at down in Anaheim at the convention center for WonderCon 2025 from the 28th through the 30th of March.

I've got a booth. I've got T-shirts. I never have T-shirts with me booth. I've got T-shirts. I never have T-shirts with me. So I'll have T-shirts for sale, photos for sale. You can take pictures, do a selfie or whatever you call it. If you don't like calling it a selfie or we can have somebody else take a picture of us.

And that's a whole other thing. But and I'm doing a panel with Derek Robertson, old, old friend of mine, but from say 89, trans metropolitan. Oh yeah. And the boys. He's the creator. And we're going to talk about grommets and rifters and I'm going to assign stuff, bring devil's rejects posters, bring whatever you want and I will sign shit. Looking forward to it. Haven't done a con in California like that. I've only done this kind of signing the whole weekend a few times and but never in

near LA. It'll be fun. And then we've got a more 28th Sprint for St. calm. Blaine. We attribute the success saved mankind from... Thanks for joining us on this epi- You got walls and a roof? Well- On the next Nerdpoker! The Nerdpoker gang goes to the big square dance at the Hay and Cotton Festival. But an alamong left instead of a pattern called quadrille puts them in do-si danger.

Can Sam roll away to a half sachet in time? All this and Brian sits on his bales wrong. But it all cornered from an island poker. Corner Propanolid Pokers! Also send us anything at P.O. Box 16069, and CINO California 91416. Thanks for listening. ["Sped Up Night"] How was your dumb broken finger? Yeah.

It's better, it's broken. I should be wearing a brace, but I took it off for- Oh, Brian. You made sure the doctor say. Are you gonna get a visit from the stranger tonight? What the hell is this? What the hell? What the hell?

I hope not. Hmm. We're back in? Yeah. We're back in.