Nerd Poker - The Fog Campaign - Episode 19

Episode Date: May 14, 2025

Our heist crew has done it, and escaped the abandoned temple with major loot. Sure they're locked in a shack in Soggytown, which sounds like the world's creepiest country song, but they're on their way to sell their spoils to the Thieve's Guild as soon as they can get through the murder fog. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Hey, it's Brian Postain, nerd poker. We're calling it The Thug Campaign. My friends are here, Chris, Blaine, Ken, Engineer Sam, of course our kick-ass DM Dan Telfer. Welcome to Nerd Poker. Hey everybody it's Brian Pasandini you're listening to Nerd Poker episode 19 of the fall campaign. I don't know why I did that voice, but I thought it would be good and spooky. Ken seemed to like it. Chris's eyebrows went up.

Thanks. I needed that. Yeah, I was going to go in for that. Blueberry. Ken's here, obviously. Uh, Blaine's here. Frankenberry. Dan's having a dance here. But I'm having a stroke is what I almost said. Uh, Chris is here.

It's me. Yummy. Mummy. And running the show from Cool Guy headquarters in Los Feliz or wherever. Sam, everybody. Hello, sweet children. Hi, Sam. This is a special Zoom episode because one of us is sick.

I'm not going to throw anybody under the bus, but one of us got got the covid. I got hit by the covid bus. Oh, OK. I guess we're out. I wasn't going to do that, but six years later, Sam was here later, Sam's like, yeah, I'll get that. Oh, yeah. Sorry. I'll check it out. Finally.

I have a little scurvy, too. I was out with those pirate boys. No. Yeah. Oh, get some pirate boys. No, no, no. Get some limes. They're the worst coconut. Drink them all down. Well, there's there not a lot of citrus available on the Caribbean. Anyway, I think.

Yeah, there is. But back then, did they just not know that citrus cured all the nails them? Well, so they were on the high seas, you know, lost. Yeah. Sometimes for months at a time. Yeah. This is a high seamed with real fruit trees, Chris. Oh, well, you know, have to pinch your hands if you cry. We should we should thank people that listen to this.

We should. And by the way, fruit brute, that would have been the correct contribution to the riffing earlier. Oh yeah. Fruit brute. Oh, fruit brute. I would love to. There's a new creature, female creature

from the Black Lagoon cereal that joined last year. Yeah, she used to go. Oh, apple. It's all very fascinating. There's a whole MCU of monster cereals. You guys, when they meet the go bouts. Oh, God. Yeah, her her whole concept was like,

it's Gen Z Caramel Apple Monster, like that was essentially her entire name. Yeah, it was. Hmm. Forgot. Yeah, she was. She was. I'm so close to sneezing again. Hey, everybody. I'm going to thank some of our listeners who are at our top two tiers on Patreon.

Thank you so much for keeping the podcast awake and churning him out. I don't look. I don't know how to phrase these things, especially on the verge of a sneeze. I'm on the verge of a sneeze. I'm on the verge of a sneeze. I can only access a part of my brain right at the bridge of my nose. So I want to thank. Oh, boy, it's right there. Thank you, Ronnie Yen.

James Dio. Thank you, Ronnie. Thank you, Hagen Grant. Thank you, Apri Erics. Thank you, Smurfettes. Thank you, Apri Erics. Thank you, Smurfettes Conspicuous Bulge. Thank you, Big Angry NPC. Thank you, Kugelberg.

Thank you, Rollin' on Molly with Friar Jolly. Thank you, Nathan's Hot Dog Scoop. Yeah, what? Thank you, Pabst Blatz von Schlitz and wipe. Thank you, Saga Nadao. Thank you, Justin Grateful Dad. Thank you, Uncle A Cab's famous bootlicker. So are you having fun edging your sneeze? Oh, my God, you guys, I wish you could see the visual of just me

like eyes wide open, blinking too much. Thank and sniffling for the first time all day so I just feel like like I I My face doesn't work. Thank you starboard land the anti Portland Thank you fang the tabaxi with one fuzzy nut. Yeah, I could have said that joke better back there. Starboardland, the anti-port land. Thank you, Deathrow Hamburglar. Oh. Thank you, Jerry Duggan, Duncan on Kevin Sorbo on Twitter.

Remember Twitter. Thank you, Big Fan, Nice Guy. Thank you, Shootin' Runner. And finally, thank you, Sweet Heat Provider. Hey, everybody. Somebody is sending us some Sweet Heat skittles to our PO box. How old are those expired illegal sweet heat skittles that apparently were taken off?

Making nice and sick. The market for yeah, like they have some chemical that will cause you to grow a seventh finger on your right hand. Sweet heat skittles. Blaine, who are those supporters brought to us by? Supporters brought to us by IKEA Senka, the instant coffee table. Some assembly required, IKEA Senka,

and Keurig Taster's Choice Pods. Just the worst shit you'll ever put in your mouth. Keurig Taster's Choice Pods, just the worst shit you'll ever put in your mouth. Cured Taster's Choice Pods, Dan. Thank you, Blaine. Well, it is time to talk about what happened last time on NerdPoker. You guys finally got through what I think might be the grossest dungeon I've ever made. It wasn't long, it wasn't particularly graphic, but it was basically made of diarrhea.

You got, right, just like brown wet viscera. So you guys made it through and found the treasure. It is called the astral scaled skeleton. It is an ancient skeleton that was imbued with aspects of the astral plane and offered to some sort of strange god slash demigod that had an idol built to it in this ancient sunken muddy sagoon temple. And you found a ladder upwards. You and your Kuatua champion friend Gloog ascended an iron ladder and are now in a tub in what you believe is Saggytown, the southwest corner of Dellsmouth.

So you're hanging out. It's a dark boarded up shack. There's a trap door on the floor. You're not sure what this maybe was originally or who lived here, but it's the floor is wet, muddy. It's not up to your knees. Like certain parts of Soggy Town, remember, had like mud up to your knees, shoulders. This is just like just a wet, muddy floor.

Leads you to believe you're in the southwest side of town. Also, that's where the temple was underneath the southwest side of town, deep underneath the wet soil. And you have got this skeleton in one of your backpacks. I think you wrapped it up in some cloth or something. Yeah, I kind of folded it into my pack, I think, in order to get it out of there. Do the detectives or the sorcerer, does anyone have any inkling about what this skeleton is?

Well, Gloob did give you a very broad clue that it was this ancient relic that he'd only heard of. Right. I was going to say now that we've got it in hand and we've had it for a few minutes, I know like. Yeah. Siam is a detective, Shalab's a detective and a sorcerer. I just feel like maybe before we unlock it and save the world, hey, we found this thing, maybe it'd be good for us to spend a minute just to see what we can figure out about this thing before we either use it or part ways with

it. Whatever. I'll let you guys make one of two roles your choice, depending on how you would like to think about that question you can roll insight or history a History check will mean you're taking this time to think about whether you've heard of something like this before An insight check is about the value and possible function. I would love to strum my Loot and give my friends guidance. I'll allow it.

I'll do an insight check. Yeah, me too. I have a plus 10. Holy shit. There you go. Oh, it's even better than that. Glued just sort of stares into the middle distance. So, Pachole, you want to do one too? Yeah, I'm just I didn't have it open, so I'm opening my character right now.

Sorry, guys. I have a 21. I only guess. Yeah, I only got a 12, so. My insight ain't shit. 17 plus that for Jesus. Right. A seven.

Yes, seven plus 10. Which one did you roll? I did an insight. OK. And what did you get? I heard Ken. I didn't hear Brian and Chris. I know Brian might still be rolling. I didn't even do it. Hooray.

Do it. It was insight. Sorry. Insight or history. I got an 18. Oh, it's worth the roll. It was insight. Sorry. Insight or history. I got an 18. I was worth the roll. It was worth the wait. Seventeen plus two. Nice. Nice.

What did you get, Chris? I got a 17. And it was all the inside. Everybody here. Did everyone roll inside? Yeah, I rolled inside. Everybody here. Did everyone roll in sight? Yeah, I rolled in sight. All right. So oh, Brian, you rolled for our goal.

Oh, shit. We're looking for Spicoli. Oh, yeah. Who's our goal? I don't know. All right. Spicoli is not in the D&D Beyond campaign, so I can't see his roles, but I can tell you that he is not who just.

Oh, no, Jeffrey, as he is. I mean, you can cheat, Brian. You can cheat. Just say whatever number you want. Yeah, right. It's like Pac Man. Fucking. Sorry. 28. God damn it. You know what, Brian?

As long as we're talking about it being worth the wait, I will say we have an over 20 with insight. Yeah. Spicoli does have one bigger bonus to history than he does to insight. So if you wanted to try to get some historical context for this bad boy, you might want to roll that one. All right.

Yeah, 21 is true. Nice. Look at that. Can I also roll a history if I already did an insight? Nah. That was for a moment in time that has come and gone Nice look at that. Can I also roll a history if I'd already did an insight? I Nah That was for a moment in time that has come and gone and I at least get to tell you I Do ever know I want Yes, I know let me give you a 21s worth of history and then you can decide if you really want to give

You really want to make a roll for like a 22 DC history check after this. But you're sitting around and you're like, okay, we all have a pretty good sense of what we have our hands on. It's very unique. It's the kind of thing that people in town have probably heard about. You guys have heard of this cult via Spicoli. This Saguahan cult was known as the Children of Wastrolith. And oh, sweet. Can you say that again or spell it down?

Wastrolith, Wastrolith. And let me see. Oh, sweet. Can you say that again or spell it down? Last relief. Wasterless. And let me see. I mean, I hastily wrote down Wasterless, but it is a D&D lore word. W.A.S. T.R.I.L.

I.T.H. Got it. Wasterly. OK, thank you. And so, yeah, you guys would have heard of V.T.H. Got a last. OK, thank you. And so, yeah, you guys would have heard of via Spicoli. The children of Wastrelith having a temple many years ago underneath Del Smith. And there was.

A sort of cult leader whose skeleton was supposedly touched by the plane that the Wastrelith was banished to. The Wastrelith claimed to be a god, but it was more of an archdemon that had been banished and was trying to find its way to the Prime Material Plane. And this is the skeleton of the wearable skeleton of the leader of this cult, the children of Wastreleth. Siam Spade Blaine with that insight check. Yeah, this thing is wearable.

What happened? You can infer from what you heard from your friend, Gloog, the barbarian Kuatoa, that the skeleton is partially merged with the astral plane. You've all kind of looked at it for a moment and noticed it appears to have what looks like this cosmic stargoyle like quality to it where when you look at the, it's a skull with a spine going down the back of it and sort of like broken out rib cage that that looks almost like wings that would go on your

back and it would it would function sort of like a helm okay it's not really armor. It is. A hell of a wearable, like almost like a bone cowl that that is. It's also tunable. But you would wear it, I believe I said last episode, like one of the Ewoks with their their skull helmets. And what size is it? Tebow. I believe Tebow is the Ewok I'm looking for.

The Christian quarterback Ewok? It would fit any of you. It is a skull that has been compressed so that it will sit on a medium sized humanoid's head. But we don't know what it does. No, it is too old and and too lost to time for you guys to have heard a direct story about what it is without an identify spell. Can we is there any glug? Is it glug, right?

Yes, my name is glug. Is there any glue is a clue, right? Yes, my name is. Is there anybody? Do you have any shamans or or fish priests or anything that maybe we could take this thing to and learn more about it? Oh, probably. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah, no, no. Yes. Yeah. OK.

Yeah. With like a prawn priest, maybe. Come come come with me. Unless you want to stay in this home and everyone rest. I don't know how beat up everybody is. Oh, yeah. I mean, we'll definitely rest. But I mean, Dan, what time of day is it? It is about 11pm. Oh, maybe it's time for us to know where home is. But maybe it's

time for us to go to bed. I believe the last place you slept was the inn where you were almost assassinated. Oh, does that sound right? Yeah, I think so. So I'm just gonna give that place two stars. Is there another in in town? Yeah, I'm trying to remember where it was the last time you. Maybe you slept somewhere in soggy town.

I'm trying to remember, but. Or is Glued tell us someplace we could, you know, he's the champion of. Fish, Troplus in in here. This up. Yeah, no offense someplace dry. Like in some place like with a with a like a shower or a tub or something. Oh, that all sounds almost like what I could provide you with.

So the shower part, but the dry part, no. Maybe we should go back and sleep in our friend, the drow millionaire. There's probably some Kua Toa shelters along the coast that are not currently in use from fishermen who are declining fishing while the great fissures in the bay. Like a bubble tree. Gugling. Oh, Lane, your soul, Lane, your soul.

My soul, I have so. Oh, no. Listeners. Oh, my God. Lane has a problem. I Google bubble tree. I still don't know why that is a thing. Double tree in. Double tree in.

Oh, double. They give you the cookies, right? Isn't double tree in the. I get it. I got it. I just refuse to laugh. Yeah, I get it. And I'm declining as well.

I'm abstaining from laughter. Ask me how much I got paid for that joke. Blaine, how much you get paid for that joke? Scale. I quit. Yeah, let's go to let's go camp out in one of the you know, fishermen's huts will be safe. We've got maybe it'll give us time for whoever we want to tune to this.

If it's like a magic helmet, I mean, Shalab does that seem like something that as a sorcerer, does that make sense for you? I mean, sure. I don't know. We'd have to do a little research on it. But yeah. Well, if you attune to it, we could. You know, let's worst case scenarios, you're like, oh, yeah, no, this is better for Spicoli. At least we know what it is.

Yeah, yeah. OK. Yeah, I'll do that. So Gluge, you know, starts to rattle the door. So I just kick this thing in. I don't think we need to make noise. It's I don't know how to unlock this. Oh, boy. And somebody like, oh, here, Sam, free us from this shanty.

We're locked in. Yeah, I'll try. Great. Slight hand check, please. Yeah, I'll try. Great slide hand check, please. Yeah, I will give you guidance. Hold on right there. It's so close. I rolled it, too, but since I have a plus 10, it's a 12 and then guidance. Let's see another D for you. Yeah.

Plus 10. I know that's great. Three. So that is a 15. Yeah. You get your lock pick in the hole, but it won't. It's not a keyhole. There used to be some sort of latch that, you know, look like maybe a latch. There was an empty hole where there used to be part of a door lock

that is now missing. The door is really stuck fast. It's it's partially metal part of the door. It's it's a little bit of a little bit of to be part of a door lock that is now missing. The door is really stuck fast. It's partially metal, partially wood, it's very rusted. It looks like you could maybe smash it in, but it would almost be easier to smash the walls. It's a very poorly constructed hut, but it looks like it has been

just sort of moldering. I feel like we want to keep it intact if we're going to stay here. We'll see what. I feel like we want to keep it intact if we're going to stay here. I don't want to stay in town. Take out a wall. If we're going to stay in this hut, I believe you were not going to stay in that. Oh, I believe the door was opening so that you would leave and not return. Is the impression that I got.

I thought we were. Yeah, because we were going to a fisherman's place nearby or something like that. Oh, right. Yes, yes, yes. That's OK. Thank you for apologizing. Well, I mean, the good news is no one's been in here because it's been stuck forever. So us unstucking the door doesn't. I mean, I guess it gives someone access down to, you know, murder central, so that's not great. Can we unjam? Can we jam the door open, get out and jam it shut again?

You could try. Yeah, man, we got glue. Yeah, well, you want me to do Just smash with like a crowbar type object. I got well now weapon. Well, I think we want the door to still exist. I think we just want to get out of here. But it's probably a good idea not to just leave an opening into the death cult chamber. Well, yeah, like while you're describing this, Gluge just is like got this staff,

you know, with a giant crab claw on the end of it that he has. And he's just kind of like trying to wiggle it. I was. So I don't know what to do. You really don't know how to open a door. All right.

It's locked. I'll smash it if you want. That's that's what that is. What we were talking about. Yeah, the big strong guy. Should I misty step outside and try to pry it open from the outside? He throws a shoulder and.

You're like a crack noise, but the door doesn't break. You do think that sure is a pretty oh, it's fucking. Oh, you try it again. But, oh, okay. So if you want to go on the outside and help out, why not? Sure.

While you go to Misty step outside. Do you have to be able to see where you to Misty step outside. Do you have to be able to see where you're Misty stepping? Let me I'm checking right now. Do do do. There's some ASMR page turning for our D&D fans. Nice. Yes, it is a space you can see Blaine. It is a space you can see. Yes, it is a space you can see, Blaine. It is a space you can see.

And unfortunately, this is a windowless shack. OK. I briefly surrounded by your summary. I'm sorry, what was that? Can I talk to you or cutting out? I don't know. Can we can we pry the hinges open something just here? Let's get the door off the hinges and get out of here. Guys, it's the best D and D villain there is a door. The door is nothing stops us quicker.

You think you could probably take the hinges apart, but it's going to take you a solid 20 minutes. Any objections? No way I can do another one. I can't do another sleight of hand, huh? You can try. Sure. Yeah, I can try to.

Yeah, we got two themes. I'll give you each guidance. The hinges are large iron blocks. Two of them that have, you know, gotten kind of molded into the wood framework. Oh, shit. Here we go. Why don't you tell everyone what you just rolled? that have gotten kind of molded into the wood framework. Oh shit, here we go. Why don't you tell everyone what you just rolled? Wait, wait, with your guidance. 32.

Wow. You guys all see Spicoli pick his teeth facing away from the door using the lockpick and the door opens. Thanks Chris for your three points. Absolutely. Hey man. That was like a, that was like fun.

He hit in the jukebox. Cool. Right. There we go. Yeah. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Ha ha ha. You step into the, yeah, there's like a muddy road outside. You guys are in the Northwest corner

of the Southwest part of town. So you think it's gonna be, you know, a little bit of a walk, but if you were to refer to your Del Smith maps, I can re-sign it if anyone needs, you're kind of like in the back left of Demon Bart Simpson's neck. Okay.

Well, we definitely want to jam this shut so nobody else can get in there. Or can Spicoli relock it with that 32? Yeah, I'll say with the 32, you guys are able to just sort of like like on your way out, Spicoli, like as if there is an explosion behind you in an action movie. You just walk away from the door and it shuts and locks right on. Right. All right. Let's let's to the fisherman's cubby hole.

Just texting you guys the map one more time. It takes you, yeah, a little while and there's this really dark green fog that you've become accustomed to, but is, of course, ominously rolling through the area and making it hard to see more than a little ways in front of you. At one point to your left, the North,

you guys hear a man screaming this blood curdling shriek. Sounds like it is one block north of you. Should we go help them? I mean, we are kind of like. Here is although we have this fucking skeleton. Yeah. What do you guys think? You're going to help them out?

Yeah. Yeah, let's go. Or at least check it out. Exactly. A block away. Yeah, maybe I'm happy to stay on the ground if the sneaky people want to be sneaky or something like that as we approach. That's yeah. You guys want to stealth it? Yes, please.

Yeah. Good self check from everyone, please. Yeah. I have a plus 12. Is that bad? Thank you. No, it's not bad. We are 19? Terrible stealth. Stealth. I got a 19 plus 12, 30, 31. So embarrassed for you. Now, I forget, does one of you have pass without a trace?

I am 22. Twenty five. I don't think I think I might. But I didn't use it. But yeah, I mean, our our low role is in 19. So I think we're going to be OK. I got a 25. So yeah, plus 10.

Yeah. And you're going to all very silently glide up through an alley. If you're looking at the Bart Simpson neck, it is where there is a little vertical like I don't have my video reverse turned on, but it's right about here. I don't know if you can see on my phone. We're heading north of block and staying close to a wall along an alley. Everything's very chillingly quiet.

As you get closer after the scream, things got very silent. These are walk-up kind of two flat gnomish buildings along the southern border by Soggy Town. walk up kind of two flat gnomish buildings along the southern border by Soggy Town. And you see what looks like a pretty messy brand new murder scene. Oh. And I get a perception check

with disadvantage from everyone Okay, I'll explain why it's with disadvantage in a moment So that's rolled twice and picked the lower. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I got a 14. I got double 29 What's the check? What? Which do you like less I I like them both equal. I love I love my perceptions. The same. Holy shit. I got a 19.

I never received a receipt or a bag. Oh, my God. I got a 27 and a 28. I'll take the 27, I guess. That's very noble of you, Brian. I remember the fucking detective work in this campaign is all fucking. Well, you let us. You know, well, I got to say, this is one of my favorite

campaigns because of the level that you've let us start at. And I always like I'll forget that we're playing at such a high level till we start to play. And then I'm like, oh, shit, like this guy for having a fucking dumbass name based on, you know, my spirit animal. But yeah, it's been really fun playing Spicoli. I'm glad to hear that. And yes, there are big waves of dark

green fog bank rolling through these streets, but you managed to catch between them that there is an elf that has been killed within, it must have been the last 30 seconds to 60 seconds. And it is pinned against the outside of one of the homes across the street. against the outside of one of the homes across the street. It has been flayed. So it's skin has been opened up and kind of pulled up like flaps and then like nailed to the outside of a building.

It's still twitching. It's still twitching. But there's no sign of the surgeon who did such a thing. Correct. Well, But, Yeah. Oh, what I can throw you guys with that is, well, let me throw in you guys. Is there blood splatter?

Is there, is there, is there tracks? Yeah, yeah. So I'll let me get to that. So you wrote, you don't just get that. You don't see tracks, but it is a huge mess and you can tell the killer almost certainly must be very nearby unless they used some very special silent magical means to get out of here. There's a pile of blood on the ground, just a pile, like, you know, a pile because it's three dimensional and it's, he's pinned up next to some walk-up steps

that go to one of the two flat apartments. You can tell that he was put up hastily. It looked like he was ripped open and sort of like slammed in there with two nails and one quick motion. Can I get an insight check from everybody? Hey, Dan, can I do an investigation? Meow.

After this you can. Right now I'm trying to tell you like what you guys infer from what you saw. Investigation would involve a little bit of physical action. Okay. 18 plus 10 is 20. Eleven. She's 11. What's this? I am seeing some of the roles, but everyone said them at the same time.

So they all cut out for me. What was the role? I'm sorry. We're looking for insight checks. I saw a lot got an 11. Yeah. What did you get, Blaine? I got a 28. What did you get, Blaine? I got a 28. Where'd you get Chris? A 23. I'm ashamed of myself.

13. 13. I didn't see shit. Yeah. I mean, like this is about trying to figure out what it is that just happened. And it looks almost like some kind of mechanism did this There's something almost too symmetrical But at an off angle about the two bolts that have this fresh body pinned to this wall Is it that walking thing that we sold?

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I would say that you would it would occur to you that it would be something very similar to that it would occur to you that it would be something very similar to that. Yeah, so the N 209. And I would also say, yeah, I would also say that you cannot piece the logic together, but with the high insight role that you got playing, you might go, yeah, wasn't that a gnome sitting in that thing? We had a gnome neighborhood. Yeah. Well, we know that the whatever the widow blames us.

And also this is the kind of murderer that you heard about the second you came to town. This is something that's been getting pinned on the Kua Toa. Well, let's. Yeah, can we, can I start doing like a quick since this just happened, can I. We got two detectives things use the insight to kind of make a look around, see if there's

a I can follow. Let's give you that. Let's give everybody that investigation check that blame was asking for. 12 plus 11. Can I add guidance to that? If you so desire. Yes, please. Twenty three plus three, 26.

Oh, Christ. My my whiskers, Twitch and I followed my whiskers. They always know 15 plus three is 18. Fucking seven plus 80. Fucking seven. Plus 80. So 87. It's that job for his strengths. Yeah. You're at a 15.

Well, you all kind of try to get as close as you can without stepping in any, you know, blood or detritus and leaving your own unfortunate tracks. Next time when they ask you where you're from. So this was, of course, on the opposite side of the street. This occurred. And you can tell as you step up that the door is is is closed and the lights are off inside the building. It looks like a vacant building that no one is currently living in. And the alley on either side of this house is pretty dark and doesn't have any tracks in it, even in the even in the dirt.

But. Siam spade. As everyone's looking around, you glance upwards and on the roof of the two flat, you see what looks like a pair of shining eyes for a moment and then pulling back onto the roof. Can I... I'm gonna make a little... Blaine is gesturing with his hand listeners. Yeah, I'm making a very...

Yeah, I'm making a very pointing up at the roof to my my co-adventurers here and letting them know that there's a that I saw something on the roof. Can I start zipping back around behind that building? Yes you can. You mean like cutting it off? Yeah like maybe like can I can I gesture to these guys that we should surround this building behind us? Right? And then we run the building. Yeah, you would all fan out. I would say glug would probably Stick with twiddin twiddin being kind of the squishiest. I thought that any of you are beefy But I think twiddin has the lowest hit points or something along those lines I'm just remember who got beat up during the sludge tubes a couple of episodes ago. So sludge. Yeah, I'm at it point wise.

Where am I? Oh, it says I'm at full. Okay, great. Yeah, I'm at full. I think we do. We rest or just didn't get that hit. I guess sounds like maybe you guys healed, but that you know, you know, sleep might be wrong. Which one? Cause you. Yeah.

Paper paper. Yeah, no, I'm down to 29. So I'm down to about one one third of what I should have, but I'm happy to continue, especially with my friend, glue. Well, yeah, glue couldge would pair up with you, and you guys would form a four-corner kind of point system that Gluge would try to fill a little bit of a gap

between Twidden and, we'll just say, Siam. But you surround the building. You've got a good sense that there's someone on the roof. And Gluge is like, love is gonna go up there. Yeah, I think we're all going to try and kind of get them at the same time. You know that there is a back door. These the building is not boarded up, but you can tell just from looking inside

that there's only a few pieces of furniture and they're very dusty. I can I can use my toaxi ability to climb too. Nice. Now, when you are climbing, Blaine, are you going to be prioritizing speed or stealth? I think I'm gonna do stealth. Then let's get your stealth check, please. It's only a plus 12, is that bad?

Blaine. 12 plus 12 is 24 You rolled a 12 and it's actually a 24 just the very idea of it So yeah, you're you're gonna go ahead and glide up there very silently and when you get up there You see what a very strange looking Almost biblically correct angel And when you get up there, you see a very strange looking, almost biblically correct angel. So many eyes. Yeah, there's a biblical angel up there. No, there is what looks like a gigantic harness.

There's some sort of contraption up there, some sort of mechanism. It looks like long ropes reinforced with leather So, there's a perception up there, some sort of mechanism. It looks like long ropes reinforced with leather. And this very broad, it almost looks like some sort of slaughterhouse device attached to one end of it and the ropes. They look like they were recently tied to something and were just untied. There's nobody immediately visible up here as you peer over.

What I'm giving you right now is your passive perception. Okay, so this isn't... So whatever eyes I saw are not strapped to this machine anymore. Correct. You didn't see the eyes strapped to the machine in some sort of literal sense, but it does look like something someone might strap to themselves. And you saw eyes. Okay. Can I do an investigation check to see if I can tell where the if there was any movement or any tracks up there? Like if something if like a strap strap is still flapping flapping straps flapping

straps uh six plus eleven so seventeen although you don't find tracks as you look around you you note two things. There is blood and viscera smeared on, it looks like two tubes on either end of this harness. And there is a trap door that is not hidden. It's in plain sight in one corner of the roof. Can, should, nobody else is on the roof. Nobody else is on the roof, but me, right? At the moment, that is true. Yes, but also it would have taken everyone else a bit longer to get up there.

So that's why I didn't stop and check with everybody. Okay, I'm gonna look over the edge and see if I can see anybody and just, kind of wave them up as quick as I can. And as soon as they get up, I'm going to head over to the trap door. All right. All right. I see that no fly a fly up. OK. Can I get a quick little athletics check?

This won't be to fall down, but can I get an athletics check from Twitter and Spicoli? I'm not climbing up. You're not coming up, Spicoli. Are you going to climb up or you're going to wait on the ground? Fuck, yeah. Athletics or acrobatics? Yeah, you know what I can I can.

It's that way. Oh, you can't seem to put fly on you, Brian. Oh, Brian's flying. Or just wouldn't need it. I'm going to say that. Volunteer to stay down. Oh, you're just going to stay down here. I feel like I going to say that. I say down. But you're just going to stay down here. Yeah, I feel like the fish man.

I feel like the two of us might be a good coming up the other end sort of. Let's let's flood. So you get to the trap door and fly. It is not locked. But when you open it, you can, you have to stifle kind of a loud creak to stop it from making a lot of noise. So can get a slight hand check if you want to be quiet. This is going to be more of a, it's to a reaction trying my door needs wd-40

I got a one. Yeah, three plus four says the seven sir Over here What check are we doing uh blaine is opening a trap door before you guys get a sleight of hand Okay, yeah Yeah, I opened it and forgot to turn off my Walkman is opening a trap door before you guys get a sleight of hand. OK. Yeah. Yeah, I opened it and forgot to turn off my Walkman. I'm still cranking the scorpions. Haha. You swim blackout. The one with the gum.

Oh, yeah. Love drive. Yeah. Yeah, love drive. There is no sort of drive baby. There's no sort of ladder or anything like that, but there is looks like an empty apartment this time you. You know, are looking down into a dark room. And there's very little light because of the fog blocking on the moonlight. So I'm going to say you can roll a perception check.

This will be with disadvantage and DC, you know, vary depending on how high it is, how much you see. But DC is going to be pretty high to really see anything in detail because it's pitch black. OK. You dark vision. I do. Oh, yeah. 16 plus 10. And the second one is four plus 10.

So 14, unless I have a passive perception of 20, is that automatic? Oh, yeah. That will do automatic because you have dark vision that you get a great, great look. OK. So that's why. Thank you for reminding me that you have also a passive insight of 20 and a passive investigation of 21. Yeah.

What is wrong with your character? I'm calling a doctor. So nothing. Yeah, you're going to peer down and you're going to see the heavy dust, a pair of footprints, and I'll go ahead and throw your passive insight on it just by poking your head in there. You can tell they are smaller footprints and they could not possibly be a Kua Toa because

of their shape. Okay. So there's like, I'm thinking no smaller, smaller humanoid. Yeah. Uh, uh, even a halfling would have bigger footprints than this. Okay. Hmm. Sounds like a mod nimble nubbin.

Is it a Chucky? Oh, God. Well, it's it's a Mithrigan. Oh, Mithrigan. By the way, I saw this one of the worst. One of the worst toys ever created is an actual life size Chucky. It's like, what the fuck are you asking or the or the good boy? It's the Chucky.

It would be like, yeah, what is it in universe? You look terrifying or does he look like a friend? No, it's sweet looking. It's the it's the actual one. Yeah, but it has the, you know, the soul of a serial killer inside it. And it's going to be because that's the real Chuckie is a soul of beloved character actor Brad Dorif. He played Billy Bivitt to perfection in What Flew Over the Cuckoo's.

Now his his daughter does. I know she's great. She's great as well. She's really. Yeah, that shows on the way. What show there's. Oh, right. There's a Chuckie Chuckie show or a She's great as well. She's really. Yeah, that shows on the way. What show there's. Oh, right. There's a Chuckie show or a child's play show still. Yeah, Chuckie shows great.

It's like on season three or four. Right. Yeah. I didn't even know that existed. It just I think it just ended. But it's Daniel Love it. It's it really is. Last I heard Mark Hamill did that movie. That's why I'm so lucky. Oh, Mark Hamill did that movie. That's what I'm talking about. Chuckie. Oh.

Mark Hamill did his voice in a movie. He also did a man, Chi Chi, who is possessed by Bill Cosby. Oh, what? Sounds scary. And cuddly. Yeah, that's my bill of cosby and obsessed with putting as it put it forget it

What was happening I don't remember where we left off. Oh, I saw some tiny foot some tiny footprints in the wine Oh hold me closer. So You do see what looks like must be gnome footprints and I may have been about to say something else, but I don't remember what it was. Was it a Klaus Nomi joke? Because we're on fire, you guys. This episode, we are on fire. All of us, we are smoldering.

I wonder what the Venn diagram of nerd poker listeners who know about Klaus know me. I wonder, like, is they are they are they two separate circles that are not near each other? We're in no me land. I think there's I think there's a lot of people who know about the fiberglass tucks. I would imagine that David Bowie borrowed for SNL. Yeah, that was my introduction.

Holy shit. That was weird. Yeah, that was my interaction. Holy shit. That was weird. That's kind of itchy. All right. Well, can I start bringing the Kuatua warrior like I'm assuming we're sort of at the front door of this place. I kind of feel like we should at least

is this like apartment building like Dan in terms of like, if I open this, do I feel like it will be a hallway or do I feel like this is somebody will be if you open it, you think you'll be in the kitchen of the lower of the two apartments. Are there any visible stairs on the exterior of the place or do you see there's a short there's a short flight of stairs. I think I'm going to lead Johnny Kua Toa up the stairs. OK, follow me, Luke. You want to smash this thing in? I think so.

And I think it might help our friends who are trying to come in the other way. I think maybe as we're coming up there, I'll strum my lute and be like more nimble nubbin murderer murderer more nimble nubbin. Just to kind of make a little bit of a ruckus. He doesn't he doesn't really get a good swing at it, but it's a really brittle door. So he kind of just like chargers and

like stomps right through the doorway. The rest of you hear just this shattering cracking noise. It echoes up through the second floor, Blaine. Are you going to go in through the trap door, Blaine? Or did we talk about this before everyone else? You were going to, I had told you what happened when you peered before you jumped in. Are there, and these guys are,

these guys are up here already? They're flying up. They can be, I'm kind of stalling to wait to see if you enter or not, based off of what I told you. As soon as I see someone, like as soon as- You don't. As soon as like Ken or Brian float up over the, yeah. So as they float up over the edge,

I'm gonna like make eye contact and then do the dive down into the room. And I would hope you guys would hear my voice sort of like I'm trying to just create some sort of weird distraction. So I hope you would know at least know that I'm doing that. So you call out, can I get a perception check from you as you come in downstairs door to wooden? Oh, sure. A perception, you say?

Yeah. Passive or just. What's your what is your 20? You can take your you can take your 20 or roll for hire. It's your choice. You know, I'm very comfortable leaning on my passive. I think that's a great... You walk in and you could have sworn there was just a split second where you heard a

do-do-do, like something froze after the crashing noise. Like something was stepping and then stopped. It would have come from down the hall on the other side of this kitchen somewhere. You're not sure where, if it was like a up some stairs, you're not sure if it was in another room. But if I was on- We're on the second story though, right?

Cause we went upstairs to the second story and then kicked in the door, right? Yes. Okay. Yes. OK, so I'm going to point to where I heard that and say, Gluck, you'll get it. So he charges and calls out, we got a runner. Oh, he starts storming down the stairs. And asked us. He starts storming down the stairs. Past us? Yes.

Unless you stop. You told him go get him. So I my interpretation was he is sprinting. I didn't hear you. I thought the noise I'm hearing is done on the same story as us. The noise I'm hearing is where. Let me back up and I'm going to tell you what happened. Because I thought I was being clear, but let me throw in a little more three dimensional space. So, right now we have Shalab and Spicoli landing on the roof and watching as Siam hops down and through the trapdoor And on the second floor on landing, we have Gloog and Twidden. Gloog smashed in through a brittle back door.

You could have sworn Twidden as you walked in behind Gloog that you heard like a little thump, thump noise from somewhere on the other side of the kitchen on the second floor. Gloog has not communicated what happened yet, but when you heard the thump thump and you said, go get it Gloog, he ran down through the kitchen down a hallway. He is not within eyeline of you yet blame. You don't see, you hear stomping around as Gloog smashes in the door and starts running

down a hallway on the same floor that you're on, but you don't see him yet. And you didn't pick up the same thing because you weren't as close as Twidden was. So you didn't hear that weird little stomp, stomp noise, or I should say a little step, step. But Gloog is now chasing down a stairwell,

something that he is calling a runner that only he was able to see. You're welcome to chase after him. So, oh, so he's not chasing this guy towards me. He's chasing him down the stairs. You're getting the impression this guy was already easing his way down the stairs and made eye contact with Gloog. And Gloog is now chasing him.

Giving you guys an opportunity to tell me what you're doing. You won't be that far behind. But I hope I'm getting across what's happening. Yeah, let's let's go. Right. Yeah. I'm going to chase him. Who's closest? To what we're both. Yeah, Twitter is Twitter and is closest.. Followed by Simon and you two.

OK, all right. Well, as you guys storm around the bend towards the stairwell that Gluge has just run down, we'll have to find out what that looks like on our next episode of Nerd Pokery. Nice, exciting. Thanks, Dan. Where can can people somehow pay you to do this at home or over the internet? Yes, absolutely.

You can go to dantelfer.com and there is a link to send me an email. I have some of my rates on there. The rates change depending on how many hours per session, how many sessions, how many people, but I would love to run a game for you in person. Most of the games I'm running are over Zoom and such. I'm currently running four campaigns in addition to what I run for Nerd Poker and it is a delight.

I would love to do it more. Hey Sam, were you listening? Sam, he was not listening. He did send us a message in chat. Okay, cool. Couldn't make it. Cool. Well, I'm glad I moved on to that portion of the show.

RIFTRS is out right now. I am off the road for a little bit. Not on purpose. It just sort of timed out that way this summer. My next gig is in Winnipeg in July, but all my tour dates are brianpessine.com. New stuff coming up, new announcements soon. Hopefully I'll show up somewhere in June.

I'm trying to get some fallout work, as they call it in the business. But I've been hanging out with Willie every day. She's the best. She needs to be walked at least twice. So I've been doing that and trying to stay healthy. And I've got grommets very soon, the Trade, the seventh issue just came out last week. Go pick that up at your local comic book store. My store is Galaxy.

I'll go there and see if they still have some and sign a few if you want to go pick them up. And oh, they still might have some stuff at a revenge of in Los Angeles that Joe Troman and I signed. RIFTERS. I went there and signed a bunch of trades. Look for them and I'll be doing that around the Los Angeles area all summer. Then I've got an appearance at San Diego for sure for both Image Books.

I'll be at the Image Booth and then doing some other stuff. That is it for me, briansposein.com for your merch needs. And also check out our Nerd Poker merch, please. It's I always forget the website, but it's nerd poker, Merck's dot com. I think it's near the end. Our pod nerd poker. Nerd poker. Pod slash Merck.

Yeah. Yes. OK. We did it. Promotion check. Blame. We attribute the success saved mankind from error. Thanks for joining us on this epi- You got walls and a roof?

Well- Oh, uh, on the next Nerd Poker, the Nerd Poker gang travels to Skull Island for the International Table Tennis Finals, but Dan forgets his paddle. Can Sam swing by his place and grab it before they're all up Schitt's Creek without it? All this and... Wait, Brian sits on his ping pong balls wrong. I thought you said he sits on his King Kong's balls wrong. On an all new nerd poker. NERD POCR! send us anything at P.O. Box 16069, and CINO California at 91416. Thanks for listening!