Nerd Poker - The Fog Campaign - Episode 22

Episode Date: June 3, 2025

As the crew enters into the deceased gnome tinkerer's workshop, it appears ol' Nimblenubbin had some dark secrets to hide. Not the least of which- this looks like Brian's college apartment. Luckily Brian's player character has otherworldly sleight of hand bonuses!  For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Hey, it's Brian Postain, nerd poker. We're calling it The Thug Campaign. My friends are here, Chris, Blaine, Ken, Engineer Sam, and of course our kick-ass DM Dan Telfer. Welcome to Nerd Poker. Hey everybody, it's Brian Pessane. You're listening to Nerd Poker. It's episode 22 of the fog campaign. One of us is sick. Not saying who, but we're doing it a Zoom style. So the rest of us don't get sick.

Ken is here. I am feeling sick in solidarity. Nice, Chris. I will only lie on the couch because Sam is my friend. Very nice, Lane. I have covered 69. No, this. Mm hmm.

Dan is here. I can't. My my audio isorked. Yeah, it is. And running the show from his sick bed in the cool part of town. It's Sam everybody. Hello sweet children. Oh god.

Eeyore is our engineer today. Poor Eeyore. Let's thank some people, how do you. Yes. Uh, give me one second. I was trying to frantically gesture that I was not ready when we started, but my mic wasn't working. So give me one second.

But how about yet? Can you final destination, right? Yeah, it was good. As as they all are. I really enjoy that series. It's very stressful. Oh, yeah. It's the latest, but I'm into it.

It's a good one. I saw drop and I thought it ate a butt. I didn't like it. I like which one was dropped. It's a suspense thriller on a butt. I didn't like it. I like bro. Which one was dropped? It's a suspense thriller on a date. You know, Ken, you hate a lot of things I like, so I'm just going to tell you you're wrong. You're wrong to like it. That's fine. It's my turn to be that guy. Not that that's how you are. Yeah, I'm ready. So thank you listeners who support us just by listening. Those of you who

can support us on Patreon do keep us going. So please head on over to patreon.com slash nerd poker. And if you subscribe at the top couple of tiers, we give you a shouts out on the air. So thank you to those particular supporters who go by Patreon usernames like tensors gifts. Thank you tensors gifts. Thank you, Megan Bradburn. Thank you user with the username Blaine for confiding in me that you're actually from Texas.

What? I think I am. I am actually from Texas. Y'all thank you Moose from Jersey. Thank you Mr. Pribs. Thank you Joe Beck. Thank you Amanda Bird. Thank you Mike Cribier. Thank you Captain Mr. Pribs. Thank you, Joe Beck. Thank you, Amanda Bird. Thank you, Mike Cribier.

Thank you, Captain Howdy's. Yes. Hello, Mike. Thank you, Captain Howdy's, Piercing Pagoda. Thank you, Joshua Stone. Thank you, Matt Carter. And finally, thank you, Craig Willis. Blaine, who are those supporters brought to us by?

Those supporters brought to us by B BimIM WAP Korean macaroni and cheese. BIM WAP WAP WAP. That's some wet ass rice and vegetables. Dan. Oh, I thank you, Blaine. I will now take us over to nerd poker and what happened last time. So you guys finally sort of met halfway with Maude N nibble nubbin the widow of a gnome you killed. I have finally also loaded onto roll 20 the map. Unfortunately, due to Sam's illness, we are still remote. And also I happened to be in Chicago amidst this of note, I have not quite pulled it up yet

just because of the delay on my internet, but it's coming. And you have with you sort of like lingering in the background, Maude and her mercenaries, but also of course, Lil Peepers, who stayed pretty quiet last episode, but you'll see again shortly on Roll20. This is a gnomish Tinkerer's shop for the gnome you killed who had built like a mech,

but also there was an eerily similar sort of murder harness that you discovered at the scene of a murder. And you are now investigating because she was willing to unlock it for you. Finally moving the little bookmark tab over there. So if you guys have any issues moving your tokens, let me know. We don't do the regular campaign on Roll20 much. We try not to anyway, so there's a possibility you can't move your tokens. But right now you're going up some stairs on the outside of the building.

If you need to find your token, look on the bottom left of the map. I'm hiding some of this stuff because there may be things lurking in the shadows once you go inside. But you know that you have a key that will unlock this and the other outer door, and that the key may potentially unlock other things inside. Maude the Widow has taken a step back, her mercenaries are watching her back, and you have an uneasy suspicion that this may lead to more undead creatures. You found one undead gnome with something that looks suspiciously similar engineering wise. And now you're wondering if the rumors you heard from that undead gnome about a priestess could be verified somewhere within this tinkerer shop.

So welcome. Here we are. Hmm. Do our sneaky friends want to carefully join us? Is it possible? Yeah, I mean, do you guys want to start to make yourselves more visible or do you want to continue to be super sneaky as you like case the building or some such?

I would like to stay at a site in case the building. How about you, Brian? You're the other sneaky person in case the building. How about you, Brian? You're the other sneaky person. In case the building what? But. You will. No, I'll. I don't know.

Yeah, I'll I'll come into view. OK, so specifically, you kind of saunter on up to everyone else and maud nibbled up in the gnome will give you a hairy eyeball. But this means you can now you can make choices without having to do a stealth check to hide from her. Do we carefully make our way up the stairs? Yeah, I'm playing. Are you going to just sort of run around the block? I'm going to run around the block and then I'm going to try to scramble up

to the root, to the second floor. Kind of do you see where I see where I am right now? In your life? Yeah. This, you know, the decisions I've made, the that I've done my regrets my hopes. Oh golly Yeah, I'm gonna run around Yeah, run around see what's going on and then come back to that. Actually, I'm gonna go over here and I'll scramble up the side and see if I can maybe

See anything from outside or just just make sure that we're not going to get attacked by anything All right Can I get a perception check from you bling since you're doing specifically a recon thing and then we'll come to everyone else cool Was it insight you said? perception 12 plus 10 22 Great you're gonna get a sense that this place is And it's OK. 12 plus 10, 22. Great. You're going to get a sense that this place is isolated.

It doesn't. Wall-wise, make contact with the surrounding buildings. I'm going to reveal all the way around the building and roll 20. It's needed zoom in feature to let me finish closing off a little bubble. So there, you should be able to sort of see, kind of map the outline, and I'm going to draw

a sort of circle. You won't see all the circle right away, but I'm going to draw kind of like an outline of where. The landing is. OK. And I see. It's pink rectangle. Oh, yeah. That's my, of course, favorite Weezer song off of their second album, Pinkerton. Pink rectangle, Steve, open up your map.

So you guys can kind of get a sense that that is where Blaine will be climbing up. There's like windows, you can peer in up there, Blaine. And as you head up there, we're going to check back in with the rest of our crew who are looking at the door. You're going to check for traps. Who's who's leading the trap initiative? I'll do that. Yeah, for you.

All right, Joffrey, let's get a investigation check. May I give him guidance. Sure, you can. I'll touch his shoulder and give him guidance. Also, you may hear a smoke alarm check that my my friends I'm house sitting for just texted to say will happen any second. Cool. What do I get for guidance?

That's a D for you get to add D for into to your role. The 13. Yeah, you feel pretty good about the fact that there's no obvious, like, outward trap, but it does seem like there is some kind of mechanism. You didn't really roll high enough for me to give you a detailed explanation, but you feel like nothing bad is going to happen to you if you unlock the door, but something might happen. Well can I use slight a hand to do the door?

To try to use a lockpick on it or what was what exactly you're trying to do to disarm whatever it is. And we have a key. We have the key. Does anyone have a mage hand? Shalab, is that within your magical purview? Yes, I have a mage hand? Shalab, is that within your magic? I see you. Yes, I have a mage hand.

I can do any major and with the key and we could get it works. Why don't we all like move a couple stairs down the landing so that we're right in front of the door should something happen? It's a good plan. I like it. I fall back to the stairs. What happens? I am. Checking a thing

and Quentin Tarantino has made foot, doesn't he? He wishes. To. Quentin's clenching fist. What is the did I did I miss it? The Brian sleight of hand check. He said he rolled a 13. I did not to do one.

No, you decided that. I can't. Got it. OK, so. Mechan will need to do a sleight of hand check with your stats. All right, then. What I thought that's what was happening, so copy copy. OK, sleight of hand. You're a sleight of hand.

I am. That's a six. Geez. So you hand off a lockpick, or not lockpick, you like give the full you kind of lay out the thieves tools on the key. The key. The mage hand is using

the key we were given to open the door. Oh, you're not going to try to disarm whatever weird contraption is in the door? I thought that's what we were doing. Well, hopefully the key will open the door and disarm it. And we will be not near whatever happens thought that's what we were doing. Hopefully the key will open the door and disarm it. And we will be not near whatever happens. That's why we're mage handing it. Yeah. Okay. In that case, the mage hand does not really need to do a sleight of hand check. It simply takes the key to the door, puts it in the keyhole, turns the key, you hear a click,

and then a series of thunking noises. The mage hand pulls the keyhole, turns the key, you hear a click and then a series of thunking noises. The Maychan pulls the key out. Won't you take me too? Thunking noises. You all are making note of the fact that that is a lot of noise for a key. It sounds like things shifted inside the walls when you did it. Okay. Open the door, did it. Okay. Okay. Open the door. May I chant?

Okay. The door opens and you are all met with a steel wall. That is right on the other side of the door. Passive Insight would tell you all that it probably activated and blocked off the inside of this doorway when you turned the key. Turned it the wrong way or something. Well, let's get an insight check from everybody though. That's just your passive insight about how it happened. Let's maybe get an insight check to decide what this kind of means.

Nine. And let's maybe get an insight check to decide what this kind of means. Nine. I see your name. 18. Nice. Who? So the Spicoli's role. No tell listeners what you just got, right? Twenty one.

Nineteen was to. What you get plain. Oh, I'm still outside. Like, oh, right, you're not seeing any of this. That's why we're being quiet, because you should be hush. So I might be being that person. You feel like this was designed to keep mods specifically from using her copy of the key to come inside.

Oh, this was triggered by the fact that the key that you used was not working the way that it was supposed to. You do think that because this is the same key for the front door, the front door is potentially going to do the same thing, but it might not do this. This might be, you know, unique to the living quarters. You're not sure yet until you try it in the other door. This is secret room. This is a secret place.

Can we move this steel door? The steel door looks like a security measure that was not meant to hurt Maude, but dissuade her and make her go away. There are no handles on it or obvious ways to move it. It's clear that there's some other method of getting through. Probably involves either a more complicated key that is not in your possession or it is involving magic or secret lever, secret button, that kind of a thing. But if it's magic. To take magic. When you detect magic, you do not get a ping off of the door,

but you do realize it is it is a very dense steel door. Siam, did you have any luck when you were climbing up around picking in windows? Yeah. So so when you go to peak in windows, they're all they're all boarded up. This looks like it was never meant to be like easy to get into. And that inside, you can kind of see it's been boarded up from the inside. And even when there are cracks in the the wooden beams

There is blackout curtains that you can see between the cracks Okay So there's probably a scarface poster in there someplace Yeah I'm the poster of the shining in the bathroom door with Jack Nicholson's face coming in a big poverty sucks And I dude holding the glass up on a Rolls Royce. Hey, can I we can.

Can I pull off some of the boards and kind of do a daredevil into this place? Nice. Yeah, you know, you are going to have to open the glass part of the window because it's boarded up from the inside. So I'll let you choose. You can either try to be sneaky about it or you can try to be forceful about it. I would like to be sneaky about it. So then let's get a sleight of hand check

to try to deftly break in as opposed to forcefully break in. OK, rip my Heather Thomas poster in your dead man. Seven is Ryan's apartment. There's so many cans of empty jolt. Do you have thieves tools, Blaine? I do have thieves tools. OK, so you're able to use them to kind of pop a lock off of the window by jostling it and getting the latch to move as you

jostle it. It slides up and you now have to have these wooden boards. Once again you get to choose to whether be deft or forceful with the wooden boards. I'm going to be... You need to remove at least one of them to slide through. Okay I'm gonna be forceful with the boards. Okay, let's get an athletics check, please. Unless you want to smash it and make a weapons attack and be loud, loud. I'll do an athletic check.

And if that doesn't work, then I'll attack it. Okay. 17, 16 plus one. So I'm just trying to start my recording my recording is now starting. I don't know how many minutes we were in You said 17 blame 17 You meant yeah, like knock it in words you can now slide in Okay I'm gonna look for some Yeah, like knock it inwards. You can now slide in. OK, I'm going to look for some tuna fish or

look for some poinsettias or lilies to nibble on. Well, I will now reveal that room. You kind of bless bless you. You slid into what looks like a sort of gathering room. OK, it's very. Oh, what I'm looking for, moldy. It's not like disused, it's not super dusty, but it does look like no one's cleaned in here in a long time.

So it is Brian's partner. Hey. There's like a layer of grease on everything that you think could be from a combination of tinkering experiments and just like food and mess and slovenliness. There are four tables at, excuse me, four chairs at a wooden table. I am using weird words today, but there is no sign of immediate life.

There are no lit candles. Can I get a perception check, please? Yes. You have dark vision, right? I do. Twenty one. As you slide in and you sort of see all these things for a moment in the corners of your vision, you see what looks like. It's hard to say how many, but maybe a dozen worms all quickly slide, quickly slide into cracks

in the floorboards and disappear from view. What's your passive insight? Landworms, my passive insight is 20. Real weird worms are moving that fast and also scattering. Kind of roach behavior. Feels unusual. Like unusual, like there's something dead in here unusual or that there are they even if there was something dead in here, worms don't hustle away

when you enter a room. Maybe they're wind worms. But also I guess with a 20 insight you would be like, it does not smell good in here. Yeah, okay. I'm going to walk around, careful that I'm not stepping on any like rot grubs or anything. Walk around, careful that I'm not stepping on any like rot grubs or anything. And sort of make my way around to where I would think the door is. And look for some sort of mechanism to open this door from the outside, from the inside. Right. And I'll make a little sort of like speekly blue line on that door just so we're all clear

on where it is. Although I think you might be able to guess it's this kind of rectangle right here. And. So there's like a steel wall there, basically. And kind of look it over, let's get an investigation check for Blaine. Let's get an investigation check for Blaine. 18 plus 1129. Holy fuck. All right. Well, investigation is. Do you see on the map how there's like a workbench to the south of the door?

Yes. There's what looks like a sort of small stone breadbox size object. And when you poke around on it, it pops up like a control panel and there is a red button on it. OK, never got a dinner. Do you pop it? I do. And then I twist it and I pull it and I bomb it. Nice.

Yeah, I'm going to. The rest of you, the rest of you hear a loud cranking noise and see the steel wall go to the side. And then I open the door and let's see when. Hey. I'm going to does that button also Venmo can some money for the red buttons? Yes, it does.

It's got a QR code on it. Fantastic. OK. May God have mercy on you all. I think you would all head into that room. Yeah, I think especially after Siam's head pops out, I think we'd all head into that room. Yeah, I think especially after Siam's head pops out, I think we'd all be like, hey. Yeah, I'm going to say, hey, watch your watch your step in here. There's some there's some weird worm activity.

Wow, wow, wow. Yeah. Oh. So I'm going to leave a yellow a yellow line where there is another door or two in the room. This is over here. There is like two doors next to each other. Those two yellow lines and then the window that Blaine would have broken into. I am going to just kind of put blue lines by those. There's two windows just to be clear where they are.

OK. blue lines by those. There's two windows just to be clear where they are. Okay. Um, what's going on in here? Why is it all weird? Well, it's the ceiling. Look, there's monsters.

That's what they're in. It's molding. Um, you, you can all do an investigation check to turn the room over. I will say, uh, Blaine, you'll, you'll need a 25 to get what everyone else would need a 24 because you've already sort of looked around a little bit. I got a six. Nice.

I'm going to give guidance for people on this if they so choose. Investigation. Oh, boy. Not good for me. Just another 21. Just another 21. I got a seven now with guidance. Mm hmm. I got a 12. Next Monday. Where should we go Sunday? I got a seven now with guidance. I got a 12. And next Monday,

we should do Sunday. That's some lower roles for you guys. Yeah, no, no, no. My I don't have to run day. It's a five. So at first, all of you are just going to be adjusting to the change in lighting, even though you with dark vision, this is a very dark room and you just have to adjust to the change. Blaine, you are looking around and although you don't find anything

terribly new and exciting since I demanded a 25 from you in this instance for something of that nature, you do look around and kind of feel like this place is not and kind of feel like this place is not hiding any obvious large secrets. And it seems as though no one has probably been here in the few days since you killed this guy. OK, I'm sorry. Go ahead. I was going to say we should just get out of this room and start looking around this guy. Okay. Sorry, go ahead. I was gonna say, wait, we should just get out of this room and start looking around this place. Yeah, we gotta, I'm gonna reach over and touch Shalab, and I'm gonna cast Gift of Alacrity on him. This is my initiative bonus thing that I normally cast on

myself at the beginning of the day, but instead I'm going to cast it on him. So what that means is Shalab for the next, basically for the rest of the day, you can add a D eight to any of your initiative roles. It gives you a chance to be one step ahead. If we get into some shit. Thank you. Yeah. All right. All right. Can we be down? You said we've already two doors on the we already flipped this room.

Go ahead. Yeah, like like. Lift is a word you could use. I don't you'd have to tell me if you want to be more aggressive, but I can tell you that there's some sort of globe like tool shelf and an arm or in the north wall. There's a tool bench and a cupboard on the south wall, a smaller bench in the in the south wall. And then you can see the two doors on the right side of the room.

And then you can see the two doors on the left side of the room. And then you can see the two doors on the right side of the room. And then you can see the two doors on the right side of the room. And then you can see the two doors on the right side of the room. And then you can see the two doors on the right side of the room. And then you can see the two doors on the right side of the room. And then you can see the two doors on the right side of the room. And then you can see the two doors on the right side of the room. And then you can see the two doors on the right side of the room. And then you can see the two doors on the right side of the room. And then you can see the two doors on the right side of the room. And then you can an armoire on the north wall.

There's a tool bench and a cupboard on the south wall, a smaller bench in the corner where Blaine found that button. And this is sort of like an easy chair and a desk on the bottom right hand side of the room. And on the right hand side of the room, there are two doors. Is there any sign of what was going on in the tool bench? Building anything? Oh, it looks like he was taking apart a pocket watch and using the parts

for something else, collecting them in a small cup, but you don't see signs of anything complex or terrifying. Okay. Do we want to maybe do rooms and then we, once we're satisfied, we're not going to be murdered, then we can search to our hearts content and eat to these places. Yeah, let's check the doors for traps. Check the right door, the lower door. I'll give guidance.

The lower door. Yeah, there's sort of an upper and a lower right hand side of the room door. Yeah, the lower one. Let's get an investigation check, please. Can we all check this or is this just for the like? We'll do one at a time. Since a bunch of people crowding around the door would divide. I'll step back.

You let you let the thieves and such do their thing. Yeah, I would say generally speaking, when you check a door, if everyone cries around it, you would be aware that an explosion would kill you all. Nineteen, you're going to kind of know there's a trap for sure. Like there's some sort of contraption. There's an oddly large metal block that the door, ring, and key are on. It looks like to open this door you need a key. It looks like to open this door you need a key and the key is on the same

Metal block that an iron ring is that you pull so you would unlock it and then pull But it looks like the whole thing moves and has moved in and out You get the impression that under certain circumstances That metal block would do something unfortunate. Okay, I got a 21 as my passive and also what I rolled. Okay. Should we Mage hand it?

Or slight a hand it or? Well, I mean, does it look like there's any way to disarm it other than a key? Yeah, can they try and use their thieves? Do you think if you use the thieves tools and make a high sleight of hand check that you could disarm it? But if you don't make the check, he might set it off. I will give guidance to whoever wants to do that. Okay, I'll do it.

Right. I'll do it. What's your is your plus 10 or higher? Sleight of hand for me is four. Oh, OK. It's a plus 10 for me. Let me do it. Sounds like a Spicoli job.

Let's let's get that side of handshake. Yeah. OK, what? How much guidance do I get before? OK, a lot of time. Oh, I don't need it. Ten plus ten, twenty. S twenty slight of Mr. Hand. Yeah, you hear a click. The metal block sort of shifts in and out a little bit,

but it unlocks without the trap going off. Nice. You can tell this wasn't going to be the same key. So you did need to use a thieves toolkit to get in here. The door now seems unlocked. The trap disarmed. What's in there? I'm a big fan of of letting things unlock and disarm at the same time. Some people, they make you do multiple checks, me only in special situations.

This is. Yes, Chris, pretty much. I was in there. Yeah, I'm echoing my friend, Ken. Yeah, what's in there is a private little bedroom, as you can now see. There is you for a gnome, fairly large bed and a chest at the foot of the bed, an armoire in the corner, a small side table next to it. The windows again, there's one window to the south

and it is boarded up with blackout curtains. There are no other doors out of this room. So bed looks slept in. Let's get investigation check from everybody as you all stand around the bed and kind of give it a look. Is there a little girl with golden hair asleep in the bed? Natural 20 plus 11 is 31.

Jesus, nice. I got shit all. Oh, I don't completely die. Did you shit all the bed? Did you say investigation, Dan? Yes, we're trying to be Blaine's what? Thirty one? Yeah.

I was 78. No. The drollness of Christopher Tullman. So, yeah, you're Blaine. You all look around it and Blaine, you get a very clear sense of what is going on here. This is a cheap bed that has never been used.

Someone set this bed maybe even years ago and it is started to gather like not just a layer of dust, but it looks almost crusty from disuse, not crusty from stains, but just being stiff. Interesting. As if the bed was made a long time ago as a sort of, I don't know, prop set piece, but no one's been sleeping in this bed. But it is a bed. Uh-huh. Interesting. Is there anything under the bed?

Monsters. I mean, you all look under the bed and it is remarkably clear. No clutter in this room. What about that chest? Mimic. There is a simple lock on it. Are you all in this room at this point?

We feel like remember we said we were going to kind of get all the doors open. I feel like we're getting into trouble here with this room. What do you think? No, it's you know, like how I asked if you were all gathered around. Yeah, it's before it's it's the best. It's there's something about that. Something's weird going on here. Let's check the other door. For you had to the other door.

So you want to get away? I'll give guidance to Spicoli. Spicoli, you want to do an investigation check at the bed that kills. Yes, yes, it is. It's an F. Utah. Yes, it is. It's an F, you, Tom. All right, so let's get an investigation to check from somebody who wants to take the lead and try to figure out

if this door is trapped and what that trap might look like. I think it's our friends, but Coli, right, with that sweet plus. Totally. And you got guidance to a parent. Investigation or slightight of hand. Oh. I think you should intimidate it. I'll do I'll check it out.

With a 27. Geez. There is a trap on this door. Again, this is a key that you don't you don't think the front door key works on this keyhole. Um, another iron block. This one doesn't, it doesn't look like this iron block comes in and out so much. As you can see inside the keyhole, there is some sort of clockwork contraption that goes into the

wall. And then you look up and both above and below the door, there are some iron, like like thin iron slats that look like something could go in and out of them. All right, wiener. All right. Well, I'm going to use slight hand, but then also avoid getting my head chopped off or some. How are you going to avoid it physically? Like, what is the what is the

the action you're going to sort of pose into? Oh, I don't know. That's the thing, like, because you can a high sleight of hand roll and then immediately stealth. I don't know. Well, well, here's what I'm saying. And a mage hand, if you want. Here's what if you if you told me nothing, Brian, what I would assume is you're doing is you had your thieves tool

and you're like leaning way in and trying to do it while staying as far away from the door as possible. But if you want to say like, oh, and I'll still have to wait as quick as possible. That's kind of what everyone would do. So. I hear you. But you're going to have to tell me if you're going to physically do something specific to not have a trap go off in your face.

Uh, well, again, like if I can sort of use the door, like, uh, can you hear me? Okay. I just moved my mic. Yeah, now. Okay. Now I can. Now, now. Okay. Now I can. Now you can. Okay. So this is their pantry door as the Burns residence. This is like the door, right? Up here above the door and there's one underneath it too. So on the outside of the door, there is like some sort of steel. It's like long, almost like a letterbox slap, like where you would get your mail in.

Uh, and there's one like that. The bottom two along the bottom of the door on the ground. And I want to stay. Yeah, it's like a guillotine. Like you fuck it up and shun like, you know, you get chopped up. Yeah. So do we want to try to trigger it with the mage hand or. Yeah, let's do that. Do we want to trigger it?

Well, disarm it if we can. But yeah, what's I mean, he's going to use the key. You get that sweet plus 10 and I'm going to give him guidance. Let's have faith in Spicola and Spicola. Just do it and jump back, baby. OK. Yeah. I mean, you see what's going on. Shit. OK, I mean, you see what's going on. Shit, little role.

And then guidance, what is that? Before. So 15. The 15 do it, Dan. That's with guidance. Yeah. So there is a click, but then you all hear a ratcheting noise. Can I get a dexterity saving throw?

Spicoli. How about a stealth dexterity? OK, no. Oh, did you see what I rolled? Holy shit, I got a 30 and stealth. The trap doesn't know you're there, but it goes off. That is a great stealth check, but yeah. Not so much.

OK, yeah. Unfortunately, you're all going to witness something violent. Some metal blades come up from the floor and down from the ceiling and slam together. You are going to take some hand damage as your thieves tools are also smashed to pieces. Mr. Hand. But.

You did. All right, so this is going to be to D10 plus three slashing damage. Good thing you didn't open it with your penis. This time rolled low. It says to me just eight points of slashing damage on your hand. Could have been voice. All right.

But you got to cut on your hand, you know, you you. Do your best to bind it. But your your particular thieves, too, they're gone. But they got they got they got trashed when the blades came together. They just snapped in half. We'll go back to the guild and get some more. Yeah, you have you have more than one amongst you. Yeah. Can we pry these blades open?

I mean, the blades automatically start going to kick it back in the floor. You have a split second where you could maybe do something before they go back in their doors. But I am being stingy unless you say it right now. I mean, we could kick them to smash them, to jam it up. Yeah, I mean, just like that. You don't know how much of them just to fuck up the mechanism. Well, I would I would say that in the interest of avoiding too much meta, Chris is wouldn't going to do that.

Yeah, I think I would just kick with my I guess the lower one, because it's closer to my boot. I think I would just bang in the hope of trying to dent the metal and fall. Yeah, I'm going to I'm going to cast a sorceress burst at it. Oh, shit. Well, we're going to do one thing at a time. Yes, because one thing could affect the other. And if you just did sorcerer sorcerer's burst while he was kicking it,

you would blow up your friend. So let's roll to attack the blade. Twitter. Copy that. Nine. So you're going to bang against it and and take a step backwards as Sorcerer's Burst is cast on, I will say the top blade. So, Ken, what does that look like? That is called a door.

I'm going to use a thunder damage on the door. It's a damage. So to do damage, but is does the door. It's a damage. So to damage, but is does the door have to do a saving throw or do you do an attack spell, say a spell attack? It's a make a ranged attack role against the target. So make that role. I'm going to make that role. Oh, it's a 12.

Wait, I got it. The before, right? Oh, I still make the eight actually. Yeah, you do. The default would do it, but a day one. So that's close another two. That's 14. OK, I mean, you're going to hit it, but it's going to do half damage.

Is there is there like a range of how of where the thunder damage is going to hit? Is it like Thunder wave where everything in ten feet gets mashed up? No, it's just the item I mean, it's the range is 120 feet, but that's not the attack area. That's just how far away. Okay Well, it's an inanimate object, but it is moving so hitting it it is not a given, but you are, you know, going to get pretty close to it. I'll let you get half damage on this if you want to. I'll have the damage. So that's 13. So six and a half, seven.

Have a dozen of the other. And yeah, it it shakes violently as it goes back up and it doesn't break. And they both go go underneath their little doors and you hear schnick as both. All right. So there's something you can jam this with. Well, you know what I can do? I have another bardic inspiration. I can give that to Spicoli. And if he uses Siam's tools,

you'll have a plus 10 plus a D8 to add. Oh, the disarm. Yeah. To try again. Are we allowed to do that, Dan? I'll allow it. Cool. I'm trying with your tools plane.

Yes. Don't break them this time. So I had a hand check. Yay, I don't even need to roll a guidance. I got a twenty seven without guidance. Shudra, this time you much more fluidly are able to pop the lock and roll it, and you all hear a dull thunk as opposed to a ratcheting noise as Spicoli unlocks the door.

And I meant to do that. And. All right. Anybody watch the P. Herman documentary yet? Yeah, not yet. I want to, but boy, oh, boy, does that look like just like amazing timing with that documentary, right? Yeah, it's great.

It's really, really great. You've seen it. I watched most of it now. It's two halves, and I would recommend just soaking it up. Each half is a hour and a half. And I think it kind of cuts off about the first half. I think goes up to Peewee's playhouse. And then I think the second half is continuing from there.

I'm totally in. Yeah, it's great. Can I get a perception check from everybody? I assume you're opening the door now. Yes. This is what Peewee. All right, let's see. Can I get some clarity for your ADHD dungeon master? Are you opening the door and going inside?

Yeah, 27. We're not going inside. We're opening it to see what's what, right? OK. Yeah, exactly. Why? 1313. OK, well, I'll give you limited answer then if you're not going inside as you investigate or look around and got a really high one.

Blaine, yeah. What? I had the 27. I mean, I'll give him a fair bit, but he You got a really high one now. Blaine, what? At the 27. I mean, I'll give him a fair bit, but he's got a much narrower vision. He's not going to see anything in the sides of the room. He's just going to see straight ahead because he's not going in. Yeah, I will say you all pretty much see this if you're not going in, but Blaine, you'll get maybe a little detail for everybody. This is an obvious secret part of the workshop.

Ooh. This is, you know, still upstairs. You think the majority of the workshop is kind of up above that sort of carriage area. And this room has in the middle of it some sort of large iron clockwork harness being similar to the one that you. Took from the dead gnome. Oh, OK, so like a prototype room.

Yeah, and I'll reveal the whole room. Then you said it's a being. As opposed to a harness. It is like a suit. Yeah, a suit. OK, but not a person or a character. No, there's nothing sentient about it, but it does have like a dome on the top

with a little ice slot in it, but it looks like it is designed to work like an impenetrable helmet built into this sort of suit. It's got a little door in the front that someone gnome-sized could climb inside. It looks like it has some arm parts strewn around the room, but that they haven't been attached. And there are a couple of large iron legs as well. Does this look like it's dirty, dusty? It's impossible to tell from the hallway. I'll say that. Okay, I'm going to go in very cautiously.

Meow, meow. All right. So Siam Spade slips in there. Can I get a stealth check, Siam? Yes. How about a 16 plus 12? 28. All right, so you're going to do this very silently.

Can I get a perception check for you being inside the room? 19. But you know what? I'll take passive perception, which is 20. I'll allow it. So yeah, as you go in the room, you see in the corner, the northeast corner, underneath some gears, there's just like a little group of worms actively slithering around on the ground, not hiding yet, but kind of just like looks almost like they're eating something. Huh, can I can I tip toe on my paws up there and kind of try to get a look at them? Stealth check, please. up there and kind of try to get a look at them. Stealth check, please.

That's a 16, no 17. Okay. This time the worms are going to react to even the quiet footstep at a 17. And they all very quickly into the floorboards as you approach. But you can see that there is what looks like a humanoid eyeball laying on the ground where they were munching. A humanoid eyeball. Mm hmm. And no other no other weird body parts or blood or anything. I'm sure this place smells great.

Not that you can see. OK. There is a do you do a door to the northwest? I'll draw a line on it for you like I have been. OK, and does that door look does it look like it's it's rigged or anything? It's very similar to the doors that you have seen so far.

Correct. OK. So what in with a with an iron block on it that would easily house a trap? But you can investigate it for more information if you like. I'm going to show wave everybody in here. And again, what you know, tuck your pants into your socks because there wave everybody in here. And again, what, you know, tuck your pants into your socks because there's worms in here, too. And I'll check out the door. OK, let's get an investigation check.

I am within earshot, but I am grabbing a seltzer. 13 plus 1124. Jesus, nice. OK, you successfully open the door. Next room is filled with treasure. Wow. My ventriloquism classes really pay. Can you drink a glass of water while I sing the national anthem? Yeah, here we go. And one, two, three.

Or a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit One, two, three. Oh, that really came out great. Let's get a perception check from everybody else. Blaine, you've already done one. OK, yes. Perception. And I'll just throw you a bone, everybody. Remember, you can take your passive if you roll low. 24. To take your passive if you roll low. 24.

Take my passive. We got to tell me about 13. Thanks. Oh, wow. Well, that's what you took. Yes. What about you, Brian? 22. And 20. You hear me?

Hey, yeah, you got a couple of high rolls there. You look around the room and there are a lot of very interesting supplies here. It looks like there are. Magic supplies, you think you see some apothecary tools on the bench, along with some gears and the detached arm of this mech suit. Here's that goop I can make smoke come from my fingers. Oh, yeah, that sticky shit. Yeah. The magic smoke.

God, that was a rip off. It also hurt. Did it? Yeah. You might be allergic to magic smoke. Could be. All right. Well, North door. Shit. Yeah.

Super Coley, you know, the our magical. And best to get that lawful friend. Yeah. You let's get an investigation check first. Yeah. Oh, wait, does somebody else want to invest? I thought. I am already investigated it. I think he looked at it.

Never mind the door. Yeah, did you? Did you fully investigate it? Yeah, I did. I think it was like a 26 or 27. OK, you're not rolling in the nerd poker log. So my brain is clinging tightly to the information scrolling in there. Yeah, I mean, you know, there's a you know, there's a trap.

You don't see any metal slats in the ceiling and floor this time. For true. I just rolled a 21. Nice. Yeah, you know, it looks like there are some sort of. Tiny little. Holes around this iron block almost looks like little iron ringlets that you'd put a ring of ringlets is the right word, but it looks like maybe bolts

would go in them. And there are about six on all four sides of the iron block that the ring and keyhole around. I wouldn't touch that with. And for. Maybe I can draw a sketch of what this. No, it sounds like something's going to come out of those holes and grab your hand or. Well, that's probably or maybe that's like the special key.

You know, I mean, maybe you have to do this and weird like multi bolted. But I mean, if he's Brian, what did you was that sleight of hand that you just did? I haven't done it. Do you want me to? I don't know. Yeah, he did an investigation. I mean, I'll draw you a picture just just in case,

because I think this is a lot of small things happening at once. All the small things. Should we do like a check around the room for a key? Sure. Kind of see. Good idea. This is like what the door. Kind of block looks like that. I kind of made the little holes along the sides bigger just so you could see them, but there are tiny little holes

on all four sides of the block, and that's like the ring that you pull on. It'd be poison gas. You see that, Brian? Yeah. OK. Let's follow Siam suggestion and let's search this room for keys and such. Yeah, it almost looks like a computer chip would go in there. So kind of thing.

OK, an investigation check. Could I give folks guidance? Twenty one. Natural 20 plus three. Oh, my God. Ten. All right, well, you guys got some very high rolls. Looking around the room, I mean, the eyeball certainly stands out as something unpleasant

that you would find. You think a lot of the tools and parts are probably in the next room and you don't really see a ton in here. You do think it's interesting that there are a few parts on the south wall that look like maybe they are attachments that could be put on instead of an arm. There's like some kind of saw and some kind of sword arm on a rack. And there's also what looks like some sort of very disturbing energy generator on the bottom right hand side of the room that looks like it's meant to conduct magic somehow. bottom right hand side of the room that looks like it's meant to conduct magic somehow. It's currently dark, but you can see there is a sphere designed to contain magic, a glass

sphere of some kind underneath a brass case. And that is here in the southeast bottom right corner of the room. I'm trying to ping. Yeah. But nothing in the way of keys, no keys looking, no keys. Spicoli, I know you've got this. You've got my bardic inspiration. You've got that plus 10.

I believe in you. All right. I'm going to try again. What's the word? Is there a way of both thieves work on it, that one could give the other advantage? Is that such a thing? Like by using the help action? I was. No, this is a very small,

intricate saying that you're trying to pull off. OK, unfortunately. What we had James Conn in here. And blue sheet five. There you go. Twenty five slight a hand. Excellent. Yeah, there's a couple of clicking noises and the lock is unlocked.

The trap also disarms. Ryan, you're a fucking thief. Jesus Christ. I think we know how we're doing on time. I think we're getting closer. Yeah, we should. We should maybe. I think we should wrap it up.

I know Sam might be zonked. I asked him in the chat and haven't heard back. So I got. Let's just say we'll find out what's behind that. Yeah, let's find out what's happening behind the door on the next episode of No. Cool. Dan, as you see by listening to the show, is a great DM. If you would like to employ his skills, hit him up.

you would like to employ his skills, hit him up. Yeah, you know, you can you can find out about that on Dan Telfer dot com. I have entire continents and cities and such that I have made just for freelance dungeon mastering. I can tell you some of the groups that I have run campaigns for have blown up an entire drow city, have fought an avatar of lulth. There's some very nerd poker type things. They have, you know, overthrown governments. It's a good time.

So lulth was it isn't lulth, the drummer for the cure. It is also a demon spider. Spider got us from the Underdark, who breaks the laws of physics to come to the land in one of my campaigns. Oh, like the cure. Yeah. Well, cool. And. You get my comic books.

At a comic book store. So go to pick up grommets and rifters and the trades out for rifters and the trade for grommets is coming very soon. I will be a comic con signing them. I'll also be, uh, I forget what it's called, but I'm doing, uh, the con out in Connecticut, um, in a con con. No, you would think, but it's at that. It's at that casino, you know, the one

will be there, Bramstein, dot com for any of that information. I've got Canadian dates coming up in July and August and then comic book shit. So check me out. We attribute the success of mankind. Thanks for joining us on this episode. You got walls and a roof. Well.

On the next Nerd Poker, the Nerd Poker gang goes to a Sex Pistols reunion and another magic comet switches them with the band! What are the odds? Can Sam swap bodies with Jaw Wobble in time to form Public Image Limited before Ken Rotten fires Chris Matlock? All this and Brian Sids on his bollocks wrong! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ohhhhh Ohhhhh Ohhhhh Ohhhhh Ohhhhh Ohhhhh Ohhhhh Ohhhhh Ohhhhh Ohhhhh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh and you can also send us anything at P.O. Box 16069 and Sino California 91416. Thanks for listening!