Nerd Poker - The Fog Campaign - Episode 24

Episode Date: June 17, 2025

Well, now that the little nightmare worm is in a jar, it's time we got some rest. The question is- since all beds thus far are either assassin traps or muddy spots on the ground- where? And the big question looms- do we kill the interplanar priestess, go for one last score, or risk both?  For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Hey, it's Brian Possein, nerd poker. We're calling it The Fog Campaign. My friends are here, Chris, Blaine, Ken, Engineer Sam, of course our kick-ass DM Dan Telfer. Welcome to Nerd Poker. Hey everybody it's Brian Bussane and you're listening to Nerd Poker. My pals are here and we're about to do episode 24 of the Fog Campaign. We've been having a blast with this campaign and unfortunately there's been some sickies among us lately so we're not playing in person but so it's another Zoom episode but everybody

looks cute. You know what I mean? Like, Ken, nice look. What's up, buddy? Thanks, sexy. I'm doing all right. Hey, blade. Hey man.

I shaved my balls into a little heart for you. Yeah, nice. Ow. Feeling cute. My post my balls later. What's up, buddy? Hey, I used face lotion the whole time I had COVID and I used it everywhere. Nice. Chris is doing some family traveling since yesterday was Pops Day around the country where we celebrate. Uh, soda.

Yeah. Uh, pops. Yeah. My favorites, the blue one. Me too. Uh, but anyway, I had a great pop stay. Let's, uh, Oh, Sam is running the show. Hello.

Sweet pops. How are you? Are you sick still? Are you okay? I'm fully, fully back to health. Yeah. Are we all okay? But somebody, are you in Chicago, Dan? Is that the point?

Is that the thing? No, no, I was available tonight. The thing is, Sam is in another country. I'm in Canada. Yeah. Oh, there we go. My sworn enemies. I did really, my throat really did get messed up,

but despite the fact that I might cough a fair bit, I have been feverless and contagious-less-ness for about a week. Cool. So who's watching Ramen? My friend Carmen and Camille, they're watching him. Nice. Haas and Pfeffer Incorporated.

They're my favorite comedy team from the 70s. Yep Their stoner material was hilarious. They were you know, they did it before cheats and Sean Carmen and Camille I heard that yeah, but because Well, because they were women people were like no, I don't I want to see men do it. Yeah, but they were hilarious nice, I I want to see men do it. But they were hilarious. Nice. I wonder if people think it's real and then it'll be on the Internet. I want to Google it. I thought there were coheat and Cambria.

We should thank some people. Yeah, I will. Thank you, everybody who supports our show. Thank you for listening throughout all of our campaigns. And this particular campaign has been super fun. And you've kept it going by supporting us on Patreon. And if you're at our top two tiers of support, we shout you out. And you know, once a quarter, you can hear your weird-ass username

that everyone else you support on Patreon has to stare at and go, why is this so filthy? So I would like to thank people like Jim Hollingsworth, who is not filthy. Thank you, Jim Hollingsworth. Thanks, Jim. Thanks for keeping it clean, Jim. Thank you.

Thank you, AGC 487. Thanks. That's my dad's initials. What the? Thank you, RussianGayevich. Keeping them clean. Everyone's super clean. I see nothing dirty about this next one. Thank you. Two in the thoughts, one in the prayers.

Oh, thank you for making me roll up my windows as I drive past the elementary school. You should do that anyway. Thank you, Morrissey, the vegan bore. Morrissey. I think that was a that's a reference to a riff you did, isn't it, Blaine? Didn't we say like we were going to do asey, the vegan bore. Oh, I think it was a that's a reference to a ref. You did, isn't it, Blaine? Didn't we say like we were going to have a meat like dish like a roast to bore cooked by Brian's vegan chef, vegan cook character.

And then someone said something like, is there such a thing as a vegan boar and you're like Morrissey yeah it sounds like something I would say and then forget cool well I retroactively wrote a joke for you I hope you like it I think you said it I'll Venmo you thank you Matt Weins. Hey, you're supposed to keep them clean. Thank you, UnSkibbityBop. I have never been weirded out by a meme more than SkibbityToilet. But I appreciate that joke on two levels. As the thing I don't understand and the poison reference.

Thank you, Todus Emptor. Nice. Thanks, Kilt Bill. Thanks The Electric Bear. Thank you, Sentient Vampire Penis, Stephen Miller. That's a bit of a high praise for that guy. Thank you, Brandon Blackburn Alderman, 71st Ward, Dildo District. And finally, thank you, Prop Meat.

Always there for us, Prop Meat. Blaine, who are those supporters brought to us by? Supporters brought to us by, Brubble Yum, Brussels Sprout, Bubble Gum, Yum Yum Yum, Brubble Gum, Brussels Sprout gum. Yum, yum, yum, bubble gum, Brussels sprout bubble gum. And orange Julius. We put an egg in it so you might die. The life or death smoothie at Orange Julius. Dan? Thanks, Blaine.

Oh, Orange Julius. But are there any of those left? Yeah, they're usually paired up with Dairy Queens. Yeah. I'm at the Dairy Queen. I'm at the Orange Julius. I'm at the combination Dairy Queen and Orange Julius. I would make those at home. Orange Whip?

Yeah, it's the fresh egg in the blender with some orange juice and some ice. Nice. Oh, it has to be a fresh egg? Yeah, hard boiled egg. I don't think I'm right. Yeah, we put a fistful of my full. I said I meant right. But anyway, I like to eat some dogs.

I do like fresh eggs more than unfresh eggs. I still don't know all the ways you're like, OK, to eat a raw egg. What do you mean? When is that okay? When it's blended up with orange juice. Oh, does that. It's okay. I mean, my pastries, whatever. I probably wasn't okay, but people did it.

Like, I blame Rocky and I blame Orange Julius. Oh, shit. Yeah. And I blame Orange Julius bullshit. Yeah. Well, someone who got Salmonella from Jules Osco brand milk when he was like eight years old, I will always be suspicious of such things. Oh, dear. It was great.

We sued the grocery store, we saw the grocery store and we went to Disney World and it was great. That's amazing! Yeah. The worst thing about having salmonella is when the grizzly bears knock you out of the river with their paws. Oh boy. Well, finally talk about what happened. Last time on NerdFolker.

I made sure to creep everybody out. You know, I really wanted to keep things rolling after the astral scaled skeleton fused itself to Ken's character and gave him probably the ninth or tenth body horror player character that I've forced on him. But yes, as if that wasn't creepy enough. You guys went into Nibble Nub in the Gnomes Tinkerers workshop. You knew he built the mech suit to attack you and he had made a clockwork goliath and the two of them had kicked in the front of the mansion to attack you when you got

busted robbing the mansion. You found out later that his widow sent an assassin after you. Put actually a bounty on your head. And so Maud Nibble Nub in the Gnomish widow sent a drow assassin after you, which you guys set free with a message. And then your drow friend at the manor,

who somehow was your friend, even though you destroyed his manor and robbed him blind. I believe one of you, probably Chris, made a persuasion check of 39 or something. But he was willing to get you in a room with Maude, and you realize Maude's deceased husband may have been connected to some very creepy undead movement, and that may have been the cause of the murders in the dark green fog throughout Bell's Myth. So you're seeing some, you saw some evidence trails all leading evidence trails all leading to the nimble nubbin workshop. You broke in, discovered that the garage had been filled with dirt as this interplanar swarm of worms dug their way up out of the ground under Delsmyth and started infesting town. They absorb the souls of these gnomes, perhaps

others, and give them to an otherworldly being known as Chaius. The worm that absorbed the soul of Nibblenubbin, you captured in a jar and told you, I am Nibblenubbin no more. I am Nimble Nub in Noamor? I am but one of the hive. The worm that walks has installed his priestess. Soon he will devour all you see. We are all but Vermicast. Which is of course a fun word I looked up that means worm shit.

You all found an incomplete mech that you managed to fire up and smash through a wall, and you were just standing outside wondering whether you should pawn it as mod NibbleNubbin nervously approaches all of you, having just seen you explode through the side of her deceased husband's workshop. That's all the time we have for nerd poker you guys. It's quite a recap, but we haven't played in a little bit. So I want to make sure we were on the same page. Yeah. So she's coming up.

We've got the Mac. Yes. So Will Peepers is nervous. You, he starts going over to talk to her. You can participate in that conversation or you can talk amongst yourselves. We should probably talk to her. Yeah, let's go over there and see what's going on. Yeah. Little peepers is wringing his hands. He feels guilty about the mess. Of course, you know, little peepers gets a crime boner quite often.

So, you know, he's oners gets a crime boner quite often. So you know, he's on board with you stealing that mech and smashing through the wall, but he doesn't like doing it in front of the widow. And he is saying, I'm very sorry for the mess. I had no intention of that happening. As you can see, this is an incomplete experiment of your late husband. It has no arms. It just willy nilly started thrashing about and broke through the wall. We are very sorry. What did she say to that? She's just sort of shaking her head shocked.

Oh, well, I see. Did you find any interesting evidence of my husband? Should we tell her about his soul in this worm in this jar? I believe it is currently in Twiddon's backpack in a jar, which you are all able to access if you please. Probably right. It might get her on our side a little bit or... Yeah. We didn't do it.

I'm assuming you guys are all stepping off to the side to discuss what to do about it. Yeah, no, we're just saying in front of her face. Well, we... Should we show her her dead husband and the worm? Painting a picture for the listeners. Yeah, I think we should. Yeah. All right.

Funnily enough, we found this. Do you say that and then present her with the jar? Yeah. What? What is? What do you mean, funny? What is this? Does this worm have a face? Well, it has a little more than just a face.

It also has the brow, soul of your husband. She turns the jar over in her hand. Of course, the lid has been put on it. You guys capped it off and you just see this, you know, it's horrible little beady eyes and toothy grin, just kind of looking up at her. Does the worm seem to recognize the wife? Ooh, well, I'll let all of you roll an insight check if you can possibly beat a 25.

I might try if you don't have a five or more bonus you can get, then it's impossible. But I will say that you would be told by Twitter and that you can all get guidance as you gather around the paths, everybody on the back and offers to give you guidance. Got 22. Here's my guidance. 25. I got a 22 plus three is 25. All right. It, it does not seem to register her any differently.

You lean forward and get a really good look at its tiny, weird little face, looking for any kind of dimple that could be interpreted as a facial expression from this gross little thing. It's very small, so it's hard to focus in on it, but as you all do, you're pretty sure it's expressionless. Its teeth and its grin are a mainstay of its face. The very tiny little teeth, it, you know, is the size of a D&D miniature. So you're looking at like this little, little, little face. And it doesn't seem to get creases in it or anything like that as it sort of stares at her dead eyed.

something like that as it sort of stares at her dead eyed. But you also know it speaks telepathically and it may be speaking to her then she is not telling you. Can I try to read thoughts? What is my thingy? The text thoughts. I think it is detect. Yes. You sense the presence of thoughts within 30 feet of view.

You know, you know, when thinking creatures are present passively, you can also target a creature and try to read their mind right now. If you can see them. Let me do that. And I'll let her know I'm doing. I'm going to let her know. I'm going to let her know. I'm going to let her know do that and I'll let her know I'm doing. You're gonna let her know that are you're doing it in general or you gonna go right to probing deeper after six seconds? Yeah I want to read thoughts. There's read thoughts and then there's probe deeper. Oh

And probe deeper they'll know I'm doing it whatever right Deeper is kind of when you would want to like let somebody know you're doing it because they're yeah I'm telling them both. I will try to communicate for you Since I have the ability to read the thoughts. I can't get a persuasion check, please Sure persuasion check, please? Sure. Persuasion, why not? Uh, do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do No, I'm gonna read his thoughts and tell you what he's thinking. Oh, well, I you don't need my consent for that. You need the worms, I suppose. I don't think if it is my husband. This is an effort to help you understand what he is thinking so that you know it's him.

Like the way Udini said he was going to knock three times on the ceiling if he was, if he wanted his dead, his living wife after he got punched in the stomach. And twice semipipes if the answer is no. And then a yellow ribbon around the old oak tree, he runs out of lyrical conceits. I mean, she's really creeped out by it. You don't think she's going to be happy about it, but you can do it and tell her you're not doing it if you want to roll a deception check because you're not doing it on her. She's going to try to stop me. You think? Um, she would, she would potentially, I mean, passive insight for everybody. She potentially would, I mean, she would, she would, she would, she would,

she would, she would, she would, she would, she would her. Well, she's gonna try to stop me. I think her Um, she would she would potentially I mean passive insight for everybody. She potentially be pissed that you're trying to like Learn weird secrets as she's trying to she's trying to get the worm to talk to her and you don't know if it's working But She's rolling it over in her hand saying, are you in there? What is this? I'll just tell her, let me try something and see if he has anything to tell you.

She pulls away. Give me a minute. Good God. Little grabby, don't you think? I don't have to touch it. I can do it without touching it. Right, but you said you're. So let me cast the spell. Let me cast this book. Okay. Okay. Um You detect nothing

Unfortunately, this spell does not work against undead and this is an undead creature. Okay. Well Apparently he's undead so I don't really. I'm not able to communicate for you. Do any of us have any sort of? There are other spells you could use. And also, you know, he did speak to you telepathically back and forth, so you could try to reach out telepathically. You don't have telepathy, but you could try to get his attention or something like that. Okay. telepathy but you could try to get his attention or something like that okay but um spells that might work are things like to telepathy yeah you know message

message is probably the most basic of those types of spells do it does it do you have any of that with the helmet no that's oh we, you have a message. Yes, I do. That's my cantrip. Oh, great. Okay. I will say... To the worm. Communicate. You're going to say communicate to the worm?

Yes. Are you going to add any, like like subject to that sentence? Communicate to me something that would identify yourself to your wife. Something only you would know. Honeymooned on this sword coast and soon we will occupy infinity together. Where did you honeymoon? The sword coast. The sword coast. All right. I will tell her this.

Let's hear it. What do you want to do? What do you want out of her? When you say this, what is the what is the the I just wanted to understand that he's that who that is.

He says you honeymooned on the sword coast. She shivers again. Well, you certainly convinced me this abomination has some memories of my husband. I don't take it away. Something good, right? Absolutely not.

I am. I won't be able to sleep for weeks. Good God. She like, you know what? Actually, she chucks the jar. Oh, no. This is coming off a low persuasion check. So she's pretty grossed out.

And you all see it just sort of whiz past you. I'm going to need a sleight of hand check from everybody. Do you see 20? I'm going to try to catch it. Yeah. Well, all Do you see 20? I'm going to try to catch it. Yeah. Well, all of you get to all of you can make a die for, but it's a DC of 20 and no guidance. And I will roll for Twitter. I'm doing some like flagship.

I got a 20. Yeah, I got 15. I ate all that buttered toast while they were talking to each other. They have 15 crazy that I got a 20. Oh, yeah. Shalab is here. Chris is here. He guide us. I just said that he said, no, I would not take a guidance because this is happening instantaneously as like a reaction. All right. Big old no thank you. Well, Chris, I'm going to text from Chris saying that he would give us guys.

He would have tried. Why? I'll dare you. I'll dare you. I'll dare you. I'll dare you. I'll dare you. I'll dare you. I'll dare you. I'll dare you. I'll thank you. Well, Chris, I'm going to text from Chris saying that he would give us guys.

He would have tried. Why? I'll dare you. But yeah, he was trying to get him to roll. That's not rolling. Just. I might just give it to you, Ken, and stop worrying about it. Somewhere Chris's app is just going off all these dice rolls. What is happening? I don't see anything. I clicked side of hand a bunch of times.

You got a 20. It doesn't matter. 22 even. So you go and you catch it. Get it out of my sight. She storms away. Do any of you try to stop her? I'm kind of done with her now. it, get it out of my sight. She storms away. Do any of you try to stop her? I'm kind of done with her now. Yeah.

Where did where is she going? Mrow, why would we stop her? Well, I don't it depends if you wanted to learn more about her creepy husband and his connection to this chaos being. But you don't have to. Yeah. Unless you're hinting that it would be a good idea to stop her.

I do my best as a dungeon master never to hint, only to tiddle it. Well, does she know what, like, we're trying to do? Well, does she know what like we're trying to do? Um, she knows that you are trying to find some kind of resolution with her husband. And the way I'm having her respond to Ken is in that Ken was not very convincing that he had good intentions of trying to communicate with the worm and so she got disgusted. No, I understand all that. Yeah. Like she's got problems.

I mean, yeah, like you were hoping you could get more info on this priestess from talking to her. All right, I'm gonna try. I'll try to stop her and- Stop her, okay. I'll talk to her. All right. I'm going to try. I'll try to stop her and stop her. OK. I'll I'll talk to her separately and then tell me how that looks. My charisma is not very high, but. Uh, well, so I.

What's what's the I wanted more information on the priest. Priest, they're trying to figure out like what how did her husband get wrapped up in this cult? Oh, yeah. OK, here we go. I just stop her and go, hey, I couldn't possibly understand how difficult this is. But could you? You know, I can't put myself in your shoes, but

you would really help us if you could tell us anything you know about how he got involved with the priestess. Let's do a persuasion check. Cool. I'll make it 18 since you made such a convincing role playing argument. I'm surprised I pulled that out of my ass. You're like, give me inspiration, Dan. What's my act persuasion? Chris, Chris, give him a bonus.

Yeah, I know, because this is, again, kind of a reaction of him running up. Damn it. God, fuck these dice. That was a six. I felt pretty confident, but. Nope. I mean, yeah, she's she turns would guide me. Chris would guide me if he was here.

I mean. Come on. Here's what we would. Well, I would tell him no, but here's what I know. You can't. OK, I'll throw you a bone. No, I won't. I'm not going to fuck with you. If you can't. You just need like a second of narrative of like of him going, oh, let me help you, like him knowing what you're doing so he can do it.

But it's going to be with a higher DC. So like I let people reroll ability check sometimes just knowing it's going to be harder. And so she's going to turn around and pivot and be like, I think that all of you are crazy. I don't want this in my life anymore. I just want away from all of you. No, I understand that. When we'll run up behind you and put a hand on your shoulder and give you guidance. Brian, the DC is now 20.

Okay. Believe me, I understand how crazy we must sound, but we're trying to ultimately battle the evil in your town and, and knowing your husband's relationship with this priestess would totally help us. Not totally. Ah, God damn it. Oh, and and before, if you like. Yeah, come on. We used for just for dignity. Give Brian a four.

14 not going to do it, huh? No. Damn it. She turns to you and says, look, you're welcome to root around in my husband's tanker a shop although it sounds like it's infested with horrors do what you will with that worm that's not my husband as far as I'm concerned it's time to put all of that behind me. Now, let me die in peace. I'm old and wish for quiet. She skitters off.

I offer her one of my hands free back rubs. You mean with Maytand, right? Sure. Yeah, yeah, Yeah, I don't know. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you meant. Yeah, you just got mage blasted. Well, now you have this worm in the jar.

Of course, you could try talking to it more, but you got the sense that it was sort of bleakly waiting for the apocalypse and was not going to exactly be forthcoming because it believed its master, the worm that walks, would soon devour everything. You know somewhere there's a priestess and you had last episode tied it to perhaps that fissure in the ocean off the coast that had opened up. that had opened up. Hmm. I'll also throw in that it's getting late. You're all starting to wonder

if you should sit down and eat. Perhaps plan on where you'll set camp. Are we? You're on the north side of the Bellesmith. If your maps are out out I can resend But there yeah So what they say is we need a Need food in the submarine

Let's eat submarines, let's get an insight check from everybody. There'll be a toughie Any ends or places around to get food? There is a place that you've stayed at before where the assassin kind of did something weird with the bartender. You could figure out what happened there. 15. 13 is it?

My passive 20. Dang. Taking that passive. I'm only going to be able to give this to Blaine then. I got passive 18. I'm looking for 20. I did say toughy. I texted you guys the map again if anyone wants to look at it.

And so I'll tell you this next part while pointing the map on my phone. You're in the Northwest part of Dalsmith. The Tinker's Workshop is up here. Um, the inn you stayed at is close to the eyeball of alligator, Bart Simpson, kind of up in the Northwest above there. You guys could head back there and just see what happened to the bartender. There's got to be at least one other inn or tavern with rooms somewhere in Dellsmith. You were told there were places for temporary shelter. And you were shown one last time you slept along the piers.

You know, your, your, your friend, the Kua Toa champion, went ahead and let you sleep in a fisherman's tent, showed you a place you could stay when he was still with you. A happy fisherman? Gluge. Gluge told you that there were places you could stay there and you did sleep in a tent. Will lean to. But you could potentially go back to the tavern almond. I got a laugh. Finally, at long last. After months of saying the pasted almond. I mean, do we want to try a different one and see if we can get different information or?

Yeah, like you could we can get different information or? Yeah, like you could try to get more gossip, but I think that for me as Dungeon Master to tell you whether that's a good idea, you'd have to tell me what kind of info you're looking for. I will say the big thing ahead of you right now is do you want to loot the final vault that you have a map for in town, or do you want to do something about the priestess who appears to have erupted a fissure in the ocean? In the ocean. You could potentially do both, but time is of course of the essence.

Yeah, I feel like that the vault can wait and maybe we should be concerned with the priestess and the fisher. What say you all? So where can we track down this priestess? Do we have to seek her out or do we know where she is? You believe she's somewhere underneath the fissure, but you don't have a lot of intel on her other than she's connected to the worm that walks. We need to get into the fissure and all that. Supposed to have died a long time ago. Used to be a gnome thief, I believe you know.

Forgot if I told you that part, but if you weren't told that part, you were told now. But if you weren't told that part, you were told now. Should we? How do we get to this underwater fissure? Well, maybe we can find out at the end. Do we still do we still have access to those like weird helmets that the Kua Toa gave us as underwater helmets?

I would think. Yeah, they would let you keep those You're not sure if they are going to do last long enough they had a very limited clock on them Did we all have them? We all had them. Yeah Well, we can go to an end we can get get advice. The thieves guild, perhaps we can. Ask the Kuatua. Yeah, let's do it. Which I would I would say, let's maybe

we should go to an inn, get set up for the night, we'll eat, we'll get a long rest and stuff or before or after, but then maybe we should talk to the Thieves Guild. They can help us with some underwater, getting an expedition together, I guess. Okay. Sounds good. All right. Would you like to go to the original inn? Would you like to go to the Pace of the Almond? I think so. Okay. So you guys head back South as it's starting to get to be dinner time. Um, when you go for some almond paste, you guys, when you had inside, there are very few people in there.

There are a couple of elves and an elf is sweeping the floor. But the bartender that you had talked to before is not present. You know, something may have very well happened to him based off the fact that he was not here when you came here last. last. Bill I believe they're killing me as the smile ran away with his face. There's a new bartender I guess. Oh yeah is there a bartender? Not that you can tell although theelf that's sweeping the floor does seem like they may be in control of the situation you don't recognize them. Excuse me, where's the bartender? Is there a bartender? Is somebody attending a bar over here? And check from you, Blaine? 20 plus 5, 25.

I'm just looking after the place. The Bark Tender has been gone for three nights. We're not sure what happened to him. I suppose I can give you some food, but I'm reluctant to use anything that keeps well in case he gets back and wants to charge the correct price or cook something off of the menu. He usually takes care of everything himself. I'm just a friend who is not used to running a nin. Do you have any of those little boxes of cereal that you can cut open the back and they turn into a bowl? No, but I have raw eggs.

Oh, we can make an orange Julius. Just pour some orange juice on it and it lasts for months. Wow. Yeah, you can get food, but it'll be pretty, you know, basic rations. There are other elves in here. Right now, just three of them in addition to this guy sweeping up. It looks like maybe no one has the guts to just wander in here and take advantage of

the awkward situation. But, you know, high persuasion check, you are being offered basic food. Basically what you would be getting is rice. I have a fancy. You want to go to the other place? Yeah, let's go to the other place. Yeah, hey, a flip, a flip, a couple of farthings on the bar and go, hey, thanks.

Wow. If the bartender comes back, uh, tell them that, uh, uh, uh, cat and, uh, and a guy with a fish skull helmet and, uh, guy from fast on Verge, my eye we're looking for and also Chris, very well. Good luck to you all. You're looking for an Indian that is in running order. The unwoven veil is the only other one that is of,

we'll say common folk standard in town. Though I suppose there is a number of, we'll call it poor folks, shanties and such. Let's go try. Where is that? Woven Vale. The Unwoven Vale is one of these rainbow colored buildings to the southeast. So it's just around the fountain with all the muck in it, the dried up muck. rainbow colored buildings to the southeast.

So it's just around the fountain with all the muck in it, the dried up muck. Those little rainbow colored dots are part of a marketplace where there are shops, I can sometimes tents all set up for people from out of town to come, but it is largely dried up business-wise since the fog rolled in. There is a place called the Unwoven Veil right along that stretch and they stay in business only because the owners live above the bar, you are told by the elf. So they're not really having a lot of people stay there and the fog is particularly

thick down there because it's rolling up out of that little inlet with the piers. And so, you know, you're told that there are rumors people get killed around there often. Although there have only been two slayings in the alleys nearby. The proximity to Saggy Town, the Ku'otoa neighborhood, which everyone has been blaming on the murders, as well as the proximity to the Gnomish neighborhood where you found a ghast that was once a gnome. It's a more dangerous part of town. You're going from like near the main gates to, you know, this place called the Unwoven Vale.

You going for it? Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. Right. Well, you walk on in and you notice reading what looks like a newspaper with just a pipe in his mouth is a Kua Toa. He's got reading glasses on and what looks like a custom made sweater. He puts down the newspaper and, you know, with his wide feet kind of waddles over to

you guys Dan. What's what's the headline on the new fish in his paper? It says Wyrm defeats Truman So You you know, you're approached by this kuatala Welcome to the other one. They all know these fucking guys. Hey, there, we're just looking for.

No. Oh, hello. Yeah, just looking for some food and a place to stay for the night. All right. Well, my name is a little. We could set you up with quite a bit of food. We could do dinner. Dinner was, of course, be a silver teeth. And for each of you to stay would be five silver each. All good. Sure. Sounds fair. Assuming the food is heavy on the turf, light on the surf. Very well. OK, whatever you want to call it.

It is mostly fish. Yes. And some seaweed. That is what I know how to cook. My wife, she is a gnome. She does not like to cook. So I do the cooking. This will, of course, be a total of 30 silver. When you combine the meals and the room. You wanted an advance or. You're just.

Please. We'll pay him. He nods and. A bubble. It's it's spelled like bubble bubble without the B at the front of the bubbles. So he's... But extra B is in the second part of the bubble. Well, it's also important to note, if you forgot, there are no vowels in these

Kua Toa's names. They have to earn vowels by fighting in the eye. So, yeah, he's He would you love if you like perhaps I drink while you wait while I while I cook What water oh, all right big spender can I get a get a Bailey's brow? I get it. Your cat milk. I guess pass you fish.

I'm gonna say twin would probably grab a drink. Nobody is in here at the moment but the Kua Toa. So as he sets all your drinks on the bar and scuttles into the kitchen, there's nothing keeping company here other than the sconces. You see, there is a staircase, very narrow staircase. It's a small bar that leads upstairs where you assume he stays and also guests. And his wife, the gnome. The, the, you think she's probably here it's it's it's evening it's stands to reason there's a good chance she's here is this place have a bub L boy

no no it doesn't all right so we have to take our own but you were looking for intel All right, so we have to take our own. But you were looking for Intel. You think if he were to appear outside, it would be pretty quiet on the streets. So you could either, you know, step out while he's making food, or you could, you know, chat him up when he comes back, if you want Intel. Why don't you guys wait, I'm going to go out and get some fresh frog. I go out and just kind of take a quick, a quick recon around the the the hotel, I guess.

Okay. And the alley. Taco, but nothing. Is anyone going to accompany Siam Spade? Sure. Okay. So anyone who's going outside, let's get a perception check. Alright. Perception. 17 plus 10, 27.

Perception. I have perceived a 19. Perception. Twidden rolled a 30. Wow. He critted with a plus 10. Yeah. That's extremely high. Also, I'm not usually roll 30s.

I opened roll 20 and found all of those sleight of hand rolls. They all went to Roll20. They didn't go into the game log. So weird. Yeah, Dean, you beyond starting to break. Well, if you think we're out there from there, pardon me. So crit crit, double crit. Someone is someone is definitely tracing you guys. see about a block away someone on the roof

Here's their head over a roof and then you see a shadow dark from one roof to the other very quickly Looks like something a an assassin or thief might do great Otherwise this particular street is shut down carts that have been folded up and had their stock removed. Shops that look like they're only open during the day. The only lit up building is the inn. You would have to walk a little bit southeast a couple blocks and talk to the Kuatua who

fish on the pier all night if you wanted to grab somebody. Should we go investigate the rooftop or should we just let them come to us? I think B. I think we head back inside. Maybe we'll lure them out that way anyway. Talk to fishermen. Talk to fishermen. Talk to Fisherman. Dr. Berman. All right.

Well, you guys head on over to the pier. Let's get another perception check from everybody. All right. Here we go. Proceeding that that is a 20 plus. Oh, very nice. Shit. I got very nice. Shit. I got a big fat six.

God damn, I'm rolling shitty. Not perceptive. Nine ninety nine on loaf balloons. Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Oh, man. That always reminds me of that assassin fight in gross point blank. Do you ever hear that song? They do it to 99 left balloons. Oh, right. Movie is so underrated. Good goodness. I love the seven seconds cover of that song.

I only know the Goldfinger one, which is meh. Yeah, the seven seconds has a good one. Yeah. And that was like 74 before Goldfinger. I also like Nina's cover of Goldfinger. Did she really? No, I believe that. Hey, it's all in German with armpit hair. So I'm saying. Well, with that high role, you guys are able to see that there are about 20 Kua Toa.

They are very lazy fishermen. A couple of them are diving for what looks like, you know, shellfish, but it doesn't look like anyone's catching a lot. Everybody is kind of brusque and irritated by the lack of fish they're pulling out. But you can also see there is a lot of muck in the river, the fog, and we're calling it a river, it's not a river, it's that little inlet. It's a little weaving strip of water that's got a stain in it because there is just this toxic silt coming out of the fissure, winding its way up this little inlet. And all those little toothpicky sticks that you can see on the map are piers

with toatoa fish people sitting on them. Some of them dangling their feet in the water, some of them diving in to try to find clams, pearls, fish, turtles, any kind of meat, but they're not pulling much up. any kind of meat, but they're not pulling much up. Should we ask them about the Fisher and how we might access it? Well, first, like, go up and try to... Strike up a conversation. Yeah, like, slow night or something, you know. I don't know. All right. What kind of personality are you hoping to spot here to chat up?

Friendly, of course, but these are all pissed-off fishermen. All right. What kind of personality are you hoping to spot here to chat up? Friendly, of course, but these are all pissed off fishermen. So give me a sense of what kind of demographic you're looking for. Old guy, young guy, older guy. Super smart and full of information. Yeah, older guy that's seen everything. Oh, okay. Let's get an investigation check from everybody.

There, I. 18. And life, you got it. Team life, you know. Twin got a 16. Yeah, you got a really high passive from Sam Spade, who is really just sometimes you just don't have to be a player. You just have to be a player. You just have to be a player.

You just have to be a player. You just have to be a player. You just have to be a player. You just have to be a player. You just have to be a player. You just have to be a 16. Yeah, you got a really high passive from Siam Spade, who is really just, sometimes you just don't have to roll because you remember that blade. Yeah. So, you know, I won't give it to you automatically and have enjoyed that you have remembered the claim it. You find pretty quickly there is a fisherman who looks like a sort of dried out lionfish with milked over eyes, these long spines kind of growing out of his arm with age the way whiskers grow off of an old sailor. He's got his feet propped up and this really like intense long looking fishing pole that you think could probably land a shark if

he grabbed it and you see that he's got incredibly strong forearms you wouldn't be surprised if he used to fight in the octagon. Whoa. Who wants to talk to him? Who's the most charismatic of us. Not me. Yeah. I'm pretty low in that 13.

I think because Chris isn't here, you win in that argument. So, you know what? I do have good charisma, but go ahead. I thought it should be charisma, but that's not me. Chris has Chris has a plus 13 also, but because yeah, Blaine is here, I think Siam Spade might want to lead this one. OK, so hey, oh, what are you a lion fish there?

Wow, that is my lineage. Yeah. Oh, you ain't lying. Wow. I'll let you get away with it because you're a cat. So what do you guys, how's the. How's the anything biting these days? Wow. I did catch a shock a couple of days ago, but no, not today. Not tonight.

But I'm not sure. A lot of sharks around here? A lot of sharks around here? You might be able to catch some off the coast one of them came up into the inlet looking for food because there's no fish anywhere near the coast took its chances up here and I managed to land it bring it up shark fin soup went to my whole family that night. What did you do? You put a gas tank in its mouth and shoot it with a rifle from a distance. Wow.

Yeah, it looked like a puppet, too. But, you know, willing suspension disbelief can make things a lot more exciting. Wow. Those sharks just swim over the other side. You just see all the gear. Wow. Did I mention that we elected the same mayor two summers in a row, even after a shark came in? Anyway, how can I help you? that we elected the same mayor two summers in a row even after a shark came in anyway.

How can I help you? Hey, listen, we understand that there's a you guys are fishermen, right? We understand there's a fisher around you someplace. I know it's pronounced differently, slightly and I spelled differently, but I'm kind of going for a little conversational in here about the this underwater fissure, where all the problems are coming from. What do you know about that? Scaring all the fish away doesn't seem like it kills anybody if they swim through it, so we're still diving and looking for stuff, but boats don't even want to land here anymore. stuff, but boats don't even want to land here anymore. How how far down is that fissure? How hard is that to get to, do you think?

Oh, that'll be a persuasion truck. Eleven plus five, 16. You know, I did try diving around there, but you know, the fog coming up out of the water is pretty, pretty sick and disgusting and silt that's pouring out of that thing, rough on the gills. Can't say I saw anything particularly interesting. Is there a silt coming out in one direction or just kind of going out all over the place? Is there a current down there

bringing the silk in a particular? Yeah, it's like some kind of big underground collapse, some old structure caved in or something, but it's pretty massive. I wouldn't be surprised if it involved some kind of magic. You say a structure meow. You think there's any kind of other way into that underground to want a structure that you've heard of? There's a lot of cities built on top of cities here in Del Smith. Little towns really, little villages, not full on cities. But you know, before us, there

was the sagoon. And a long time ago, too, there was a little little gnomish town that fell apart. Couple of them had, you know, those gnomes had little structures they built on the water. They put up rocks and tried to have little fishing places with water running underneath it, but it all collapsed and went underground. Hey, let me shift gears here for a second. Old man, you like worms, right? You're a fish, right?

Fish like worms? I fucking love worms. Now we're cooking with worm gas. Hey, you haven't seen any weird worms in town recently, have you? I don't know. We have worms with faces and smiles, souls in them. Let's get a persuasion check. Let's get a persuasion check. That's a 19 plus five, 24. He grabs his vest and opens it up and you see he has a strip of glass vials all strapped to the inside of his vest. Each one with a wriggling worm inside of it, a cork in the top of each vial.

Yeah, I can help you out wow what the fuck these these things are hard to catch but uh they make for great bait and what happens if you uncork them where do they go they try to we don't we don't like to uncork them because then they start trying to talk to you through your mind Trying trying make all kinds of weird deals with you They got little they'll faces too. But let me tell you you stick a hook through their face Yeah, like any other worm

Right shut them right up. Yeah, they should write the fuck up You know, what do you get where you catch most of these face worms? The funds, am I right? Shots are made up. Yeah, they should write the fuck up. Bill, do you get where you catch most of these face worms? It's from around town. I have my sources. Mostly on the north west side of town. There's some old Tinker is workshopped. You know, you don't think that these worms and that uh, that fissure are connected in any way Yeah, well it surprised me. I mean you got a big old fucking

Magic spooky asshole in the middle of the coast and they have fucking worms everywhere. This town's going to shit Yeah Well, you know, after they once. Oh, right. I'm coming up now. Anyway, you want to want to want to buy one of these worms? Yeah, I think some of them got real sexy lady voices. So that they'll still try to get you to devote your life to the death god, Caius, but they'll

offer you some real sweet little sexual favors. Hey, you know, a lot of these guys, these worms, they talk about the worm that walks. You know anything about the worm that walks? Nah, I don't really give a shit about that. They do try to talk to you about the world no box some guy named Kaius He's a me some evil god or whatever the fuck but I'm just catching some fish with these guys. It's pretty fun They're great bait. I mean really they work. They were great. They're like big old maggots The taste good too you want to eat one?

Yeah, good. Thanks. I just had a Bailey's. Well, he uncorks one of the vials and pops one of the sentient undead worms in his mouth and gives it a quick chew and gulps it down. Yeah. Wow. Hey, did that that worm scream anything to you when you were chewing it up? Actually, why don't we all do a perception check? All right.

Oh, another night. Oh, yeah. 19 plus 10. Buck and finally. Roll it. Uh, 23. I got a 20. Finally, Roller, 23, I got 20.

All of you just 20, just at the edge of hearing, all of you hear this telepathic scream in the back of your mind, as you choose this thing into pieces. It's haunting. Something died again. They don't feel nothing. They're just little worms. Sure. Okay.

I don't eat. It's okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings. There's a little protein strand. There's a brain. Just a little protein strand, these worms. So they don't, they're a There's a little protein strand. There's a brain, just a little protein strand, these worms. So they don't, they're a bunch of mumbo jumbo. Is this some dumb spell or some shit? They taste great.

Do you, you should boat for rent? You have any, is your boat available to take out on maybe a little fishing trip? Sure, I got a little fishing boat. You want to rent my boat? I'll take you out on it, but you got to let me drive it. Let me talk to my human for a second. Meow meow.

I don't see no humans. All right. What is what's what's kind of weird campaign would you run with a human in it? And we would add you. It is is Spicoli's an elf. All right. OK. I picture him as a human because of a movie. A high elf.

So hey, you guys, get that thing away. This is all lionfish has a boat. We could have said, Motherfucker, but after that, after this fish, should we try to rent this thing and go out to the to the Fisher? Do we? Yeah, let's see. Let's take a guide with us. Unless we want to take an army. Yeah. Take an army.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I say we have him take us out there. Little peepers also enthusiastic. It sounds like there will be a little fishing trip on our next episode. On our next episode. After Brian's brain fell out. Well, I know he's fully committed to the character. Just let him run with it. Yeah, character.

You can hire me to be your dungeon master over on Dan Telfer.com. I got a little email link there. Reach out. I've run games for these guys for fucking long ass time. These guys for you nerd for fucking long ass time. These guys for you nerds, only 10 years. Yeah, we almost 10 years for Christ sakes. You do it good.

The Christian Christ. I'd love to do a quick shout out to the guys at Schecter and Wild Guitars. They've been so cool to me Adam over there and and then I just did a thing with Jackson for Misha Mansour from periphery is doing a video and I'm writing a script for them and I got a I get Another Jackson. So now my dude, it's crazy. You gotta come over here. Yeah, man of guitars No, what's that like? Yeah. No, I know I know but My wife and your wife should get together

They're killing both. BrianBassini.com for all that stuff. This week, man, when is this air? Tonight. Oh shit. Well, Seattle, man. I met at the Clock Out Lounge, I believe, with Derek Sheen. Never been into the club, but they seem super cool in dealing with the show. I've been off for a while. I was rusty and I said to Derek, hey man, find something up there. Find something in Seattle. And they pulled this together and we're doing a one show Saturday night the 21st and

It's always fun with Derek Sheen and Derek's one of the best comics out there and That's him now. Yes And he's become one of my best friends and it's such a cool dude. Those shows will be crazy rifters gromm, get the trade paperbacks. That's it. Uh, Blaine? We attribute the success saved mankind from an error. Thanks for joining us on this episode.

You got walls and a roof? Well- All the next, uh... Nerdpoker. The Nerdpoker gang is joined by musical guest, The Stray Cats, at a Baltimore Duck Pin Bowling Challenge for charity. Can Sam get there in time with these slightly different, yet more complicated frame rules? All this... And Brian Setzer bowls wrong.

On the next Nerd Poker. Thanks for listening to another episode of Nerd Poker. You can follow us at patreon.com slash nerd poker and you get bonus episodes from there and you can also send us anything at P.com slash nerdpoker and you get bonus episodes from there and you can also send us anything at P.O. Box 16069 and Sino California 91416. Thanks for listening.