Nerd Poker - The Fog Campaign - Episode 3

Episode Date: December 10, 2024

Merriment hath ensued at The Pasted Almond tavern, until a little fish person walks in. Will Goffrey Spicoli have second thoughts about stealing that minotaur's pocketwatch? As the misty plot thickens, will the gang formulate their sword heist? For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker

Hey, it's Brian Postain, nerd poker. We're calling it The Thug Campaign. My friends are here, Chris, Blaine, Ken, Engineer Sam, of course our kick-ass DM Dan Telfer. Welcome to Nerd Poker. Hey everybody it's Brian Poseidon you're listening to Nerd Poker. It's the FOB campaign episode 3. 3 my friends are here we've got Chris on zoom I'm zooming in nice good to see you fat pal foul did you almost say fat cells? I thought you were gonna say fat pal. I had fat cells for dinner. It was delicious. My fat pal Chris. He's not fat. No.

He is my pal. Ken's here. Hi. What? What do you got? Nothing. No. Alright. Is that shirt of Satan? Is that shirt from Satan? It's from Satan. It's from Satan. Yeah. It's of the Satan. So is yours.

It is. Griller mall. Love that place. That's Dan. Hi. Dan's here. Ken's here. Yep. Blaine.

Hey, hi. Hey. My shirt is angelic. Yep. It's a biblically correct shirt. At the end of the table, as always, Sam everybody. Hello fat children. You noticed.

I have a little bit of a problem with my shirt. of the table as always Sam hello fat children I had so many of those Milky Ways before we started waiting wait for a roll yeah we saw a suit of candy Mel had a bunch of teenage boys over here for Rhodes's party and they like don't like candy I guess guess. Apparently the kids today. It's really funny because I've been playing Mass Effect Andromeda where you go from one galaxy to another and they say the phrase Milky Way so many times. I've just been like rubbing my temples.

I just want a fucking chocolate bar. Do they say amazing prunes at all? There's a nice bag of prunes in the Halloween candy. How are there still prunes left? Don't tease. Oh, you guys. Teens love nice bag of prunes in the why how are there still prunes left? Don't you guys think you love a bag of prunes? Guys if I was in that room all I'd be doing is mouthing prunes. This shouldn't be happening. And we're back. We should thank some people. Let's thank some people.

You guys I'm hoping people are enjoying jumping in at the beginning of a new campaign. We keep this going via Nerdpoker on Patreon. If you go to patreon.com slash Nerdpoker and subscribe at our top two tiers, you get a shout out on the podcast. And just a quick heads up, you'll, I think it'd be charged less if you do it on the website rather than the Patreon app. I will PSA Patreon app is like because I think of Apple surcharges, like adding on fees.

So Patreon dot com slash nerd poker, if you want to do it, you got to do it. Do what you got to do. But you know what? Also, if you go to Whole Foods, put all your sparkling water in your cart and go to the self check out. Purchase all your stuff. Never take the sparkling water out. You can get $50 a free liquid death because no one's paying attention. At Whole Foods.

Thank you, Jeff Bezos. It sounds like thievery. I listen. It's that time in history. Of the year. Christmas is all that money listen, it's that time in history. Of the year Christmas season. All that money you save time of the history. All that money you saved on Waterloo, you can spend at Patreon.com slash nerd poker and our top two tiers are Hey Boss and our stargoyle tier have usernames attached to those tiers like hot dong.

Thank you,Dong. Somewhere in the city. That's gotta be what they were hoping for. Thank you Hayden Austin. Thank you Dwayne D. Bathtub. Thank you Bilbo T. Bagan. I'm Dwanning. Thank you Manmade Orc Entertainment. Thank you, Bilbo T. Baggin. I'm dwelling. Thank you, man. Thank you, Man-Made Orc Entertainment. Thank you, let's take a look at that clip. Ah. Yeah. Thank you, Insane in the Posane, Insane in the Blaine. Insane in the Blaine.

No, I think that's my, by the way, I think that's my brother-in-law. Michael, if that's you, well done. Oh, I love it. Michael. Thank you, Steve McLaughlin. Michael, if that's you, well done. Oh, I love it. Michael, thank you, Steve McLaughlin. Thank you, Kvorting Canuck. Thank you, I Said Litch.

Thank you, oops, Aldrake Litch. Thank you, Beboppa Reboppa Small Brown Dog. Thank you, Michael Noonan. And finally- Noonan, missing. Noonan, noonan and of course, finally, thank you. Blaine's two fingers for all their hard work. Oh yeah. Blaine, who are those supporters brought to us by? The supporters brought to us by Captain Crunch Gummies, Gummatize Me Captain, and Bees, Nature's

Penis Enlargers. Dan? And these nature's penis enlargers, Dan. Are you telling me and stuff in my pants full of bees and not reaping the benefits? You got to get on that Reaper bond. Quick, said Patreon people. Yeah, appreciate it. Yeah, thank you so much. And if you see me on the street, much like Brian at a club, just stuff my hands full

of cash and run away. I mean, right here before you leave the house, write your name on all your money. And then if you bump into us, just like try to find our pockets, just like cram the dollars into our pocket, get in our pockets. Can I get your alt? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would like going back to the B theme. Any time you see Brian or Dan on the street, show bees into their pants. Oh, yeah. No.

There you go. Do I make you hold it, baby? I'm out all the time. It would be a great headline, like podcast gets listeners to grab at these. Millions go to hospital get your junk stung oh my god I have a honey in my hive a bunch of people running at us with huge red hands I don't even have my character sheet out but we should probably play some Dungeons and Dragons oh we will as soon

as we find out what happened last time on Nerdpoker. Our heroes walked into the fogs of Del Smith and met their guide, a swashbuckling little elephant thief named Lil Peepers, his full name, Thelonious Pepperstep. Lil Peepers took them to the inn in the fog, known as the Pasted Almond, and while the thick insanity driving fog rolled past the tavern, everyone had a drink.

Lil Peepers shouted loudly of plans to rob the drow mansion tomorrow whilst Chris, what's your character's name? I'm pulling up my notes. Twudden. Twudden. Twudden. While Torrent the Bard played a song and Merriment ensued. We now take you to Merriment already in progress.

So yeah, there has also been some serious pickpocketing. I believe, Brian, you rolled a 28 when stealing last episode. Do you remember what you stole? Do you remember what you stole? You want to tell the listeners? You want me to remind you? Yeah, remind me.

Are you stole a pocket watch from a minute tower? That makes sense. Get it? A minute, a pocket watch? A minute tar? Head of pocket watch. Blaine. Shut up. I'm talking to myself. Snort. Pretends to email Matt magazine.

First to look at her. So yeah, there's merriment ensuing. Twitting, you've created a real vibe and everyone has had a few drinks. I believe the thievery may have also just begun. I'm not sure. So like there's a lot of distracted shouting, enjoying of the, but everyone's wealthy in this bar. You know, there is a poor side of town in the southwest of Bellesmouth where people are often caught alone

by this strange insanity that is gripping random townsfolk. And again, this fog is really hard to see through. You can only see a few feet in front of your face. You guys had to kind of stick close together. You walked past a big fountain that had this mysterious slime with all the coins stuck in it. You and it's worse at night, right? Yeah, that's usually when people go bonkers and start killing.

So we decided like we decided what we were actually doing. No. Why don't we all roll an insight check? And I'll roll for little papers. Little papers didn't give us like a mission yet, did he? Not really. No. 17 plus 825. Oh, my goodness.

I'm sorry. Twenty five. Two plus eight. Ten. Oh, well. 16 plus 521. 10. Oh wow. 16 plus 5. 21. Wow. 14 plus 7. 21. Nice. Nice. All right so Ken what's your character's name? Salab. Salab. That's right it's as in in as in that detective from the television. Not Shelob. You know, cats can have some of you as a treat. Just a little you.

As a treat. So I'm just pulling up Will Peepers' sheet. Will Peepers. But he rolled an 18. Got so much love. That's my favorite Florida rapper. Little Peepers. Scrolling through all the characters I've made for guests.

Just scrolled past Chris Makepeace that I made for Steve A.G. Chris Makepeace? You mean my bodyguard? Uh. Meatballs. The guy who wears a different hat in every scene of Maze's and Monster's. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that was his character hook. He had a bunch of different hats. He was the original Jack Quaid. Those of you who beat a 20, which is almost all of you, I have a moment where you're like, oh, yeah, we could maybe spend some of our remaining waking hours coming up with at least what we're doing in the morning. Twit, are you going to keep playing? From the time being, unless it seems I noticed that the

the party kind of seems to be kind of planning then I would sort of find a reason to end a song and say I'm just gonna take a couple minutes and put a cup out For tips and join them. Otherwise, I feel like I'm more valuable as a sort of room distraction And can everyone roll a perception check? Yeah, certainly. Oh, 22, 19 plus three characters. That's the numbers you get. I'm trying to let you guys enjoy the

detective roles early on, so listeners can also hear 13 plus 821. Yeah, I rolled an eight, but I got a 16, so then. Would you get Chris? Wow. 18 plus 8, 26. Holy shit. Holy cow.

Looking across the room, you note that some more people seem to have wandered into the tavern and it's getting a little busier. You notice the Minotaur is still having fun, hasn't like padded himself down to find his pocket watch, walks over to you Twidden, tosses some gold into, you said it was your hat that you've been collecting? Or a cup or just something, yeah, whatever. Sure, we'll say it's a cup or just something. Yeah, whatever Sure, I will say it's a cup then you'll have to decide for yourself if your character is a cap of some kind I actually think he's probably Thinking that his purple hair. Remember I told you cuz he's yeah, he touched so I think he's actually

Not proud of the purple hair, but he recognizes that the purple hair as a performer helps him kind of be unique. And so I think he probably wouldn't wear a hat as a result. I've been thinking of him as looking at what kind of like dandelion from the Witcher except with purple hair. Ooh, I don't know that character, but I will look at him.

The, you know, cavalry seasons are great. I heard that, yeah. Yeah, that was, Cavill seasons are great. I heard that. Yeah. Yeah, that was I really enjoyed the games and the show does a pretty good, pretty good job, pretty good job. So the next one is going to have a Hemsworth in the role. Don't know if I'm going to check it out. You you're all kind of getting a good sense that you could maybe break away and you see those

of you. I think you all rolled really high. You all kind of notice little peepers is like meeting all your eyes and kind of like nodding like maybe you should meet up before the night gets late And you also hear a to do as the door opens and the whole bar goes quiet suddenly Do you keep playing twit in? You can't I think I think I would actually stop in sort of like Sensing the room if the room is telling me whoa like a record It is a record scratch moment.

And all you see right now, Twedden, is that the door has opened and someone who is too short to be seen over some of the taller guests, elves and the like, is is about to come inside. OK, it's not Patent. Sorry, everybody. Oh, it's Polly Shore. All of a sudden, just Patent appears on Zoom. It's Boo's Hammer.

So but yeah, you're going to just sort of read the room with a record scratch. Are you then going to maybe wind it down for a second? Yeah, I think maybe I'll say like, you know what, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to take a couple of minutes right now. Everyone refill your cups. Let's hear it for the bartenders and the wait staff. And hopefully there's a little bit of applause. My name is Twedden.

I'll be back in just a moment. Performance check, please, Chris. Copy that. If you roll, if you roll an 18 or better, everybody is going to sort of keep an element of merriment. If you don't, they're going to the room is energy is going to turn. Got it. I rolled a string and shit your pants.

What was that? I rolled a 17 but I have a six bone or whatever. So it's a total of 23 Nice as remain unshitten. Do you see a few people? turn and look at you and There's like a round of like here and like people start heading to the bar, but it still seems tense Of course you notice there's somebody all of you notice somebody kind of like waddling towards the bar and everyone around them is getting really quiet and kind of moving away.

It's a little fish person. They have a trout like mouth, kind of like a Billy Bass face with eyes on either side of their head. Don't worry. Oh, my God. face with eyes on either side of their head don't worry and you also because you all rolled high in your perception check you notice little peepers who's been standing on a stool just kind of waving a flag and around has kind of like narrowed his eyes and hopped into the crowd and disappeared. Oh shit. Hmm. The little fish person hops up onto the bar and you just hear it kind of like muttering something

in common and the bartender just kind of like puts a fist on the bar and says, you know you better leave son. This bar is not for you folk. Oh. No kuatua are allowed in the pasted almond. This bar is not for you folk. No. No. No. Kua Toa are allowed in the pasted almond. Well, that phrase was in the Bible. The little fish person excitedly reaches into their pockets and puts like five gold.

You just see like a little smattering of gold coins on the bar and you hear it go, mom, I'd like to drink. And the bartender just sort of shakes his head and it's like, well, it's your death warrant, son. And starts pouring a beer. The minotaur in a fancy doublet marches over and looks down at the little fish person and says, I think you were told to leave.

And he just goes like waves his arms around and points at his beer and says, but that was weak. And he, as he reaches for the beer, it gets tipped over and spills all over the bar as the Minotaur grabs the fish dude and lifts him up in the air. He's clearly either about to get punched in the face or thrown or something. How do you guys react to this?

in the face or thrown or something. How do you guys react to this? I'm just surprised at a fish drink. Yeah. I'm just going to keep my eye on the fish and lick my chops. I'm gonna cast command. Okay. You're casting this on whom the minotaur I thought you're gonna say yourself okay and what is the saving throw on command let's see wisdom wisdom saving throw he rolls a seven he did did not make that success. So you're, I believe a way Command Works is you say a word and as long as it doesn't cause harm to him, he is going to follow through on it and be charmed. Okay. Release.

He, his hand just sort of like opens and the fish goes back onto the bar stool. And the minotaur just kind of like shakes his head confusedly and kind of like walks over to the end of the bar and sits down and froze his brow. Did you try to do it openly or did you try to sneak in? No, I tried to sneak it. Okay, let's get a deception check.

All right. Good deceptionses. That's a 8 plus 7. 15. That's pretty good. 15. All right, you notice a few people That's pretty good 15. All right, you notice a few people Picked up on what just happened the Minotaur did not all right the Minotaur is just sort of confused Lee like looking around and pouting unsure as to why he didn't have the should split a follow-through on his threat the cooler koa did notice and

He kind of like waves you over. It says well, I'm not you were drink. I mean my you were drink All right. I don't so much want to touch him because he's a little fishy. Yeah, I mean, he's moist. Yeah, no thanks. He reaches into his pockets and slams another fistful of gold on the bar.

It says, my name is Bulbul. Hello, Bulbul. It's nice to seeoola. Hello, Moola Moola. It's nice to see you here. Dan, can you spell that? Yes, actually I can. It's B-L-L-A-B-L-L. B-L-L-A-B-L-L. And say it please. Moola Moola.

Dan, God damn you to hell. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I didn't think of my job. What do you do? I wait I caught some things in the ocean for food Oh, my people were hungry and they pay you to fish My people paid me a lot of money because I bought another fish. I brought enough. I said brought Sometimes I'm hard time pronouncing arms. I noticed that I'm brought I brought them some food and so I was paid by my people and they were very generous because I'm the best fisherman in all of Dozebuss. And why don't they usually let you in here? Why are they so rude to you?

I'm poor. Oh, I see. So you're poor people are not allowed in this bar. My people, there are many of my people to the Southwest. They don't let the cool it away here because a lot of us go crazy and murder. You go crazy and murder? Not me, but Kua Toa. Uh huh. Kua Toa go crazy and they murder, they stab, they emissary

and trails flying about. Not always Kua Toa, but often people caught alone amongst the Kua Toa in the southwest is that their nature to just kill people No, it's the crazy fogness got it. My people are often the murderers I don't know, but it's not always us again. Sometimes I'm a people Sometimes other people so as you saw we're not evil people, but they blame us anyway. I'm sorry? They blame us anyway. Oh yes, they blame you anyway.

I see. Well, that's terrible. Thank you so much for the drink. Yes, I paid enough for how many drinks? And the elf kind of like looks at the coins and is like, how many drinks do you really want? He paid for way too many. Well, I guess we can all have a drink.

He paid for enough for a round of drinks. Do you want? Sure. Do you want to tell the whole bar is on the house? Yeah. The elf drinks on Bulbul. Do you tell everyone that it's on Bulbul? Yeah.

Can you word it for me? Hey, everyone drinks on blow, blow, blow. A hush falls over everyone. Can you do a persuasion trick, please? Oh, yeah. Wow. Hey, Dan, can I help with this? I would like to at this moment come in with my lute musically and give Ken Bartek inspiration. OK, so he gets so day. Lute musically and give Ken Bartek inspiration.

Okay. So he gets, so day, so Ken, after your role, Yes. If you decide you need it, you get to add a D8. All right, cool. And I'm doing this with my Lute. I get to add, I'll add the D8 anyway, what the hell? He got really high.

So that's a 30 Really? Wait a minute persuasion you said? Yeah. Yeah No, it's a 25. Holy shit. I got really excited For the fucking charisma stuff Charisma and decks. I think all of you just went all out. So Yeah, the whole barred, the whole bar, not barred. Thank you Twidden for this moment. But the moment consists of the bar, the pasted almond, all kind of like surprised with themselves

as they go here, here. And Bulabug seems surprised by his own wealth, unaware of how much the drinks really cost. He just kind of goes, how he throws his hands up. What a dummy. Yeah. Everyone rushes to the bar, starts ordering drinks, except for the Minotaur who you notice is now crying.

Oh, well, bring him a drink. Okay. Like crying, Dan, can we sort of like- He seems devastated. Are all of you gonna go up to him? Or I know we have interest from Shalob and Twedden. Joffrey, Siam, are you gonna pay much mind to this minotaur?

What are you guys- Why is he crying? Would you I'm gonna let you roll an insight check if you're approaching him You could be up to something else you two. It's up to you Why is he so upset yeah insight yeah, yeah, I'm gonna walk over there everyone who wants to know If it's okay, I want to sort of stay with the performance of it all again, sort of creating this mood of like, everything's good, everything's fine and let them kind of like do their thing.

Okay. This isn't where a Joffrey's right. That skill expertise. Yeah. And enrolled low man. So I don't know. Christian, a performance check while I check. I don't know that dude.

Absolutely. What was that? What was your insight? I got a twenty fourteen plus six. Fifteen plus a twenty three. You guys are so showing off these roles the first few episodes. Um, yeah, he looks like something like like he looks as I'm going to check in with you in a second, Chris. The Minotaur is kind of looking at his hands and staring into the

middle distance. It's as if the moment of him dropping the fish and not following through on his threat caused him to search himself. And he found some deep flaw that he forgot was there. Wow. He's just sort of beside himself right now. And so I'll check back in. But Chris, would you roll? Oh, 17. Okay.

So the mood definitely is like continuing to pick up. People are following your lead and you go up to him and ask what's wrong. I'll go up to him and pass him a drink and pat him on the shoulder and say, why so glum chum? Well, you saw what happened. Well, it happens to anyone, really. Just reminded me I'm not, my brother was a barbarian.

I'm just a simple merchant. I miss him every day. All right, well, sorry to hear that. And his last gift to me, a golden pocket watch, is gone. I don't know where I left it. Oh, dude. That's terrible. I can't imagine what happened. We lost him some time last month. He went on, he said he was going to get some great prize. I never saw him again. Where was he headed for the great prize?

He said he knew of some mystical weapon that he was going to steal. Interesting. We all told Crundus, don't do it. Give up your life of crime, Crundus. Crundus. Your brother Crundus. My brother Crundus, don't do it. Give up your life of crime, Crundus. Crundus. Your brother Crundus. My brother Crundus is gone. So sad.

And I've lost my pocket watch. Maybe we can help you find this weapon. I don't, we'll see. I'll talk to my friends. I would rather have my brother, I kind of don't give a shit about the weapon. But thank you. He was stealing it because he was a barbarian asshole. But if you could bring my brother back where was he last seen in this very

tavern and he just starts sobbing this fucking day where's the where's the fish man he's still at the bar he now alone, but people are kind of toasting him. Okay. He's never, he's never had this much attention in his life. Why does everybody like this guy? He bought everybody a drink. He bought everyone a drink, but they're also kind of like moving away from him.

They don't trust him. And we still don't really have like a true mission yet. And what happened to Pennywise? Little Peepers, everyone roll up, everyone roll up a perception check specifically to see if you can find Little Peepers. 19, 16 plus three, Jesus. 19.

Yes, perception. 18 plus eight, oh wow. That's pretty good. Yeah. Natural natural 20 plus 828. So, I mean, I wanted a 20 for this because he's very sneaky. But Joffrey and Twidden, you both see little peepers darting from person to person in the crowd while the merriment is happening.

Just like his he's like waving a beer in each hand and like toasting people. But his trunk is dipping into people's pockets and just pulling out coin purses. Nice. Well, that's kind of what he wanted, right? Like he just, he wants to just sort of run ram shot on this city, so. Yes, but you two, he does kind of sort of like make eye contact and kind of like dark his eyes towards the stairs.

You noticed earlier, he was kind of trying to check in with you. He does seem like he's trying to wrap this up. What's the mannatar wearing? Sort of this like this doublet. He looks like he's trying to look like a bard, like he wishes he was a musician. Uh huh. It's like the sort of lavender color. OK. You know, those musicians in the lavender.

I'm going to. Stevie Nicks with a bull head. I'm gonna give him his pocket watch back. Oh, I'm going to put it on him. But like sneakily. Yeah, yeah, I'm just gonna sleight of hand it. All right, can that, ooh, a dog sleight of hand at its way between my legs.

Cause she heard Melanie. Can I get a sleight of hand check from Brian? Yeah, absolutely Here comes the one This is gonna be crazy so I rolled a natural and but I'll have a plus 10 Critical 30 critical 30 I put it inside his body. So Brian, I hope fiction that pocket watch Brian, you hear the Minotaur mother under his breath as you reach towards his pocket and effortlessly slide it in, he says, oh, Crenvis, show me a sign that you'll come back to us.

And you step away just as he clutches with sadness the pocket where his watch once was. And you just see his face beam with joy. He goes, he aud, oh, my God. That's amazing. And then you rolled a 30, he goes, the whole bar kind of is like, that's awesome.

Little Peepers is now at the bottom of the stairs, kind of like no drink in his hand, hiding behind Bannister Twidden and Joffrey, you continuing with your high perception that you see that he's kind of like gesturing with his trunk, like a little Bugs Bunny thing, just coming. Hey, I know that dude. Can I make eye contact with the group? Just sort of like kind of, and I will sort of loudly on my lute strum

as though it's sort of like the beginning of a new song. And I'm gonna walk towards first the Minotaur. Is the Minotaur in any way close to the opposite of the stairs? Yeah. Yeah, the Minotaur in any way close to the opposite of the stairs? Yeah. Yeah, the Minotaur. My plan is I want to try and get the room into a big fun sing-along like a call and response or something.

I sing a line, they sing a line. And I want to physically position myself so that my friends with little peepers could potentially sneak up the stairs while the attention is on me. Okay, so that'll be another performance check, please. And everyone else, can you roll a stealth check? A performance, you said. Yeah, boss. 27. Oh my god Brian. I got a

20, 10 plus 10. 19. Holy cats. Did you just get a 30? No I got a 20. 10 plus 10. I did bad math. What was yours Ken? 19. What was yours Chris? 19. Your performance check? Okay, you do a reasonably good job, but these guys so fucking stealthy Glide you you you catch out the corner of your eye. They've all glided silently up the stairs are no longer With the crowd. Do you quickly wrap the song up once you know they're gone and join them? How do you proceed?

You know what? I think actually at this point my value might be more in being downstairs and just keeping the night fun and alive and I will trust in my new party and let them do the whatever has to be upstairs. But obviously in the back of my head, I'm like, I'm keeping an ear out. If I need to break away, I will. Otherwise, I'm going to keep it loud and fun downstairs, possibly to cover noise from upstairs. Oh, that sounds great.

You can check at any time you like. That's it for tonight, everybody. The rest of you make it to the top of the stairwell and Lil Peepers is jauntily prancing down the hall. He looks over his shoulder at the three of you and says, "'Yes, our bard friend will join us later. "'Now to our room I've purchased us the master suite.'" Ooh. Many a bed in the same room. It's the us the master suite. Ooh. Many a bed in the same room.

It's the safest thing, if you remember. We can't be alone. Right, terrific. He heads over, unlocks the door, waves you all in. It's this beautiful room. That looks like it's made for an adventurer's party. Shuts the door, locks it behind him, and says, all right, I have intel for us.

Excellent. Are you prepared? Hell yeah. All right, get out your thinking pens and take note. Tomorrow in the morning, our drow prey will not be home. Alathor Xalarax will not be in his manor. He will, in fact, be out at sea. For how long? Oh, I believe a few hours.

We have a few hours over. Just go and fish in and come out. Yes, he's going he's going to have an early breakfast. He does have guards at the front of his estate in front of Zalrax Manor, but we have access to a secret entrance. That's awesome. Now, you may remember Alathor is an asshole.

He has no friends, no family. They have all passed away, you see. He has his family buried on a lot behind his home. There's a garden and on the other side of the garden, there's a mausoleum. If we go to the mausoleum, There's a special brick we can press and it will take us to a stairwell. The stairwell will be revealed. We go down this stairwell.

Again, I'm not sure, I haven't seen it yet myself. This is intel I got tonight. We will then find a gargoyle who will say some kind of thing. If we say the right thing to the gargoyle in response, we will be allowed in the secret passage into Xalarax matter. I think I have a good feeling about it.

Unfortunately, people often try this and don't come back. So, you know, I do know this might be dangerous that the person who gave the intel went with a thief once and they heard the thief guess incorrectly. They didn't quite catch what the question was, but the guess was a shadow. And then he heard a yelp and he ran away because his friend seemed indisposed after his wrong guess so I can tell you the answer is not shadow and disposed you mean like a dead or turned into something or meow well unfortunately he found his friend as a stone statue decorating the graveyard the next day.

Oops. But would anybody know the question? That is the problem. I believe we would have to ask Alistor Xalarax himself what this question was, for it is his own secret entrance to his own manner I all the others who once knew are buried in said mausoleum he's gonna be gone yes Chris are you still there oh yeah I'm right here

I'm listening listening I know I just saw you walk away from camera I wanted to check in so while you're playing downstairs can I get another performance check from you please? Absolutely let's see. Alistair Alistair what could be some some questions just for my answers that we would want to meow meow to have prepared so we don't get turned into stone meow. 17 plus six, 23 for performance. All right. You wrap up a big song, you need a break to take a drink of water.

You look down in your cup, you have- It's full of bread. They've been putting bread in your jar. 70, 75 gold pieces. Wow. Oh my gosh. I will, uh, I will sort of like say like, the generosity of this room repays itself! And I will pull out however much gold takes to buy another round for the room. Dan, what do you estimate that might be?

Just sort of random. I know we'll actually figure it out, but like at a cursory glance of the room. Probably be about 30 gold. I will pull out 30 gold and say, this goes back to the people of what's the name of this place? Dellsmith.

And I will put it on the bar and say around for everyone. And I'll try and kick into like the story of the Minotaur. Watch is one to hear. Like I'll try and. The the the the. Because I want to. The ballad of the Minotaur's watch. Exactly.

Having not really heard anything from upstairs, I'm trusting everything sounds like it's great. So let's keep this party moving so that they can do whatever they need to do. All right. I rolled a perception check, Chris. Copy that. 13.

You continue the song. Everything seems quite merry. Great. I'm happy with that. You feel like also you've really peaked the audience's energy. It's getting late. So this might be followed by last call

after your song, you think. Great. So that I will very much make this into kind of like a final song for the evening. Like I said, if I'm able to like incorporate the Minotaur, maybe I'll mention something about like the bartender and try and make it a song about like we here in this room. We're celebrating Delsmith is great and

How great it is to have? Uh tw-twodden here to sing everyone a song Uh, can you roll deception check? One check. One. I said, yes, I can't. Oh, yeah. It's only an eight. So everyone keeps just shouting has a has a after the song.

But you notice sitting at the bar, kind of eyeing you suspiciously with a smirk. The Fox folk woman Fender Strat is kind of eyeing you suspiciously with a smirk. The Fox Folk woman, Fen Der Strat, is kind of eyeing you suspiciously. And I saw her talking with Shalab earlier, right? Mm-hmm. Okay, I will take that then as she's sharp

and she knows what's going on, but she's not ruining it, so I'm fine with that. No, but she's definitely sizing up the situation and putting some things together. That's fine. But she's not ruining it. No, right. Nope. Great.

Are you going to head up or are you going to linger? Oh, you know what I will do as a yes, I'll sort of say, good night, everyone. Get in sort of the take my cups a yes, I'll sort of say good night, everyone get in sort of the take my cups and yeah, I'll maybe haul ass upstairs and just maybe knock on the door and be like they know something's up. One person to be clear, everyone else was was too wrapped up, but that was a deception check against the the more common person in the room maybe I'll be more specific and say shalab that Fox lady knows

what's up I'll stay out in the hallway got it um are you going to have tried to do that stealthy or you just gonna sort of John Tilly saunter I mean I will John Tilly saw is it weird to that people go upstairs? Have I seen other people go up and down the stairs or anything? Other than my friends, it feels like sneaking. It feels like people might be heading upstairs soon. No one does it yet. You would be sort of the first, but you think people might follow you

because of the energy starting to dip. Then up there, maybe in front of the crowd, I'll play it as like with that gold for you. I have to go upstairs and see what you've given me. Good night, everyone. I'll try and make it more like the end of my show and exit rather than running away. Great. Smash a couple of watermelons and good night. And yeah, as you do, you see Fen kind of sipping her wine, narrowing her eyes at you.

You knock on the door and let them know, do you guys open the door or do you just keep talking to little peepers alone? Wait, who knocks on the door? Yeah, we let him in. You heard Twidd and try to give you a message through the door, do you wave him in and get like- Sure. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, I'll be like, so, uh, uh, Shalab. Yeah. Your, your foxy friend, I believe, is on to us, but otherwise, everyone's good. Uh, if everything's fine in here, I don't mind keeping watch

maybe back downstairs, but I just wanted you guys to know. Well, she seemed like she might be handy. Okay, great. She might be helpful with what we're doing. Well, is she, sounds cunning. Is she cunning? Yes.

We might want to keep that feather in our cap, so to speak, but to the issue at hand, we have to sort of guess the answer to a puzzle. And Siam, I hear you. How can we come up with questions that could the answer be shadow? Don't know. Bit difficult to try to guess a puzzle in advance. I do think, however, since we know people are turned to stone, that we might want to find a proxy

to go in ahead of us and perhaps risk stone death. How would you all feel about our new friend, Bullible, being a proxy we send in ahead, perhaps to guess incorrectly? Are you sure he wasn't fried up by the crowd downstairs after we left? No. Now? That was a metaphorical thing that was happening earlier.

I don't know if he's smart enough. I guess so we're going to send him in to figure out the questions. You're going to specifically send him in so you can hear the question be asked and then Well, whether he turns to stone or not most likely I would say a 99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 a little bull bowl mmm up the stairs and safely discuss the question without risk of death. Poor little Bullbolt. We don't have to use him. We could use someone else. We could use someone else.

True. Or no one. If you have another idea, that is simply my suggestion. I mean, maybe if we hear the question, we can help him answer it. He's not so not real, so. What? I don't know. He's talking fish, Ken.

Come on. Yeah, you were all high. There was no talking film for sure. I know JK, LOL. But yeah, that's a suggestion. You guys can come up with something else that's just little peepers trying to toss you a bone. I mean, I'm wondering if Fen would be better at answering the question. She's so cunning.

Yeah. Or do we? Well, we know it's... Go ahead. She's so cunning. Yeah. Or do we? Go ahead. Does anyone have like mind reading or anything like we're all sort of new to each other. Does anyone have any sort of like as far as if we're presented a riddle, does anyone have any abilities? I guess I'm kind of looking at Shalab and being like, I'm looking. Mighty sorcerer.

Do you have ways of seeing into the minds of others? I can detect thoughts of high perception, but who detecting thoughts could definitely come in handy. Yeah. Oh, you can. Mm hmm. Now, well, and else and with high perception, I mean, what if like we as a group, I'll really, I'll really find what we can bring to the table. I mean, detect thoughts.

I have keen senses. Yeah. Okay. Keen senses might help you physically listen in. Could you read us the flavor text, Ken, for detect thoughts? We can get a sense of like how useful and what way. What we get.

Hang on. Because I know there's like levels to it. You activate one of the effects below. Sense thoughts you sense in presence. You sense the presence of thoughts within 30 feet of yourself that belong to creatures that know languages or are telepathic. You don't read the thoughts, but you know a thinking creature is present. Read thoughts. Target one creature within 30 feet or one creature within 30 feet of yourself that you

detected with the sense thoughts option. You learn what is most on the target's mind right now. That's more like what we need. As a magic action on your next turn, you can try to probe deeper into the target's mind. If you probe deeper, the target makes a wisdom saving through. On a failed save, you discern the target's reasoning emotions in something that looms large in its mind. So yeah, mind reading basically. Cool. So you could, you know, do you have to see the person doing it? That you're trying

to read the mind of? Or do you have to know where they are? Within 30 feet? Okay, so If somebody was saying guessing in their mind you could read their mind. Yes All right So that sounds like it'll come in handy one creature. You can see within 30 feet of your side. I have to see to read thoughts So we got a we got to find this Gerda Yeah, well, you know, we little peepers tells you where the mausoleum is. It's in the the behind the garden along

the coast. The mansion is is as I noted on the map kind of like in the northeast corner. Yeah, the garden is along the coast here and the mausoleum is here. So Chris, it's like the top right of the shore behind the mansion. Right. Okay. And I think maybe Twitten will add like, it sounds to me like Shalab might be the answer to our prayers. However, if we do have a problem and I'll start playing sort of like a little tune

on my lute that has sort of like a repetitive quality to it. I'll say- So the Ramones? Yeah, exactly. If need be, I can help as well and I'm basically alluding to I have a spell as a bard called hypnotic pattern and basically I can create a twisting pattern of colors that weaves through the air and it can charm somebody for up to a minute if they fail a saving throw so between the mind reading and the

charming I'm assuming other people can do stuff too like sounds like if we can find this guy maybe we can get the location that what is it the sort of umberley Dan that's what we're looking for the needle of umberley the needle of umberley maybe we can it is a sort of advantage of that sounds good sounds like a plan well we'll have to see how that goes when next we play in nerd poker yay sam sam hey episode three there's dogs in the studio Hmm. Sam Sam. Hey, episode three.

There's dogs in the studio. We're in the in still drinking and pickpocketing. A little fish person has entered the bar. Bumble has bought a bar has bought the bar around a drink. Spobel is missing his brother and his pocket watch. Twenton is singing downstairs. The rest of the gang is upstairs. We're going to send the little fish man in first to hear the question and die.

downstairs the rest of the gang is upstairs we're gonna send the little fishman in first to hear the question and die I thought you were gonna love D&D because now it has mind reading I'm fish! Talking fish. Love this game. Dan anything you want to plug? You wanna plug your your wares? Yeah if you I am on T public if you go to Darkest whimsy on T public I have anti Elon Musk shirts Do it and and shirts about devouring rich people and drinking their neck blood. That's actually true But I'll have other projects. I'm posting soon. So, you know if you want to hire me as a dungeon master I do still have a couple spots open. I've just been hired for a couple more games, but Dan, Dan Telfer dot com.

And I am Dan Telfer on Instagram, Belusky and at least for now threads. Cool. As always, Brian Pessain dot com for tour dates. Nothing for the holidays, just did my last gigs in Tacoma, Washington at a Tacoma comedy club if you came by. Thank you so much. That was a fun weekend with Baby Legs, Derek Sheen, hilarious shows. And then I did a signing at Destiny City.

Issue seven of Grommets doesn't come out till the first of the year, but you can still get issue six of Grommets and Rifters in comic stores currently. And I've got in the new year, I'm gonna be in Vermont on the second of January, right away. Yeah, I'm flying out there New Year's Day, so that's gonna be fun.

I'm looking forward to Burlington, Vermont, Burlington Comedy Club, or Vermont Comedy Club, but a great place. Great coat factories, too. But those crowds are fucking incredible, because they live in Burlington, Vermont. Yeah, where all the coat factories too. Those crowds are fucking incredible because they live in Burlington, Vermont. Yeah, where all the coat factories are. The people in the audience live in one of the coolest towns.

When you're in Portland, you're like, why is this crowd so cool? Oh, yeah, that's why. They're cool, and they're also very warm because of the coats. They're fucking happy, yes. And then I've got three in a row. I love Burlington, Denver, and then Wenatchee with baby legs up in the middle of Washington up in.

I like Wenatchee. Yeah. Great coat factory. Wenatchee likes you. That's it for me. Blaine. We attribute the success saved mankind from... Thanks for joining us on this episode. You got walls and a roof. On the next Nerdpoker, a book of mad libs threatens to verb the noun gang with city clam chowder. Can person verb to place before it's two time. All this and guy who's house it is verbs on his body part wrong, on an all adjective dork

card game. Ha!