Nerd Poker - The Fog Campaign - Episode 31

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

Now that we've located the way down to the super evil vault, it's a matter of breaking inside and disposing of this little worm smiling at us like an absolute creep. Brought to you by AI ads! Just kidding. OR ARE WE?  For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Hey, it's Brian Postain, nerd poker. We're calling it The Thug Campaign. My friends are here, Chris, Blaine, Ken, Engineer Sam, and of course our kick-ass DM Dan Telfer welcome to nerd poker hey everybody Brian Pessain you're listening to nerd poker. My friends are here. We're doing episode 31 of the fog campaign. Normally we would be in person. I can't remember why we have to zoom this one. But somebody couldn't be here at my house. Wackadoo schedules. At any rate, that's it. Wackadoo schedules. I saw them open for Angoboingo. Hey!

Perfect. Execution. That's Dan. Blaine, I don't know if he said anything, but he waved his cute little hand around. It is pretty cute, you guys. I put so dainty. I put googly fingers on it.

That's Blaineaine Chris is here Blaine my hand wants to ask your hand out, but it's too shy. Ah Sit up a little is that all-star a super old DC shirt what's yeah also it's a decent Oh nice. Oh shit man, and now yeah Yeah, that's awesome. Yes, yes. Very cool. Ken Daly is here. Hi. Away from my cute little something else around.

You fill in the blank. It's pixelated on my screen. I don't know why. It's automatic. Quiet, loud, quiet. And did I already say I talked to you, Dan, but did I introduce you? You did. Well, sort of.

You said he's there and here and I didn't. I didn't have a moment to interrupt, but here I am doing. You are. And running the show from the cool part of town, as always. Sam, everybody. Hello, sweet children. Hey, man, how are you doing, dude? Doing good. Middle, sweet children. Hey, man, how are you doing, dude? Doing good.

Middle of the day. So how many walks is ramen had? He's had three today. Oh, nice. Oh, very good. I once got a case of the pee-pee. Is that right? It's me.

Nice. Oh, shit, that reminds me. You got to pee. Oh, there you go. Walk your cats. There's a case of pee at my front door. I got a pee. Oh, there you go walk your cats. There's a case of pee at my front door I got p-dash Boy oh boy, well folks that is what you've come here for this and thank you to all our supporters There's a pause I'm like really you're gonna make me segue P dash into thanking people for keeping this podcast going

Yes, indeed. You guys are wonderful for listening at all And if you support us on patreon you're keeping this show going If you're at our top two tiers one of the benefits is you get a shout out and I want to shout out corpus callus Um, thank you corpus callus. Um, yeah, thanks Thanks, James Amarando Thank you, there's only one know about I really Amorando. Thank you. There's only one now, but I really went for it. Thank you. The fake Vince. Thank you. Tick tock's downstairs mix up.

I see a reference. Thank you. Danger. Treasure. Strahd. Best sleepover game. OK. Thank you. Finger for Lichlock. it. Okay. Thank you. Finger four Lich lock. Thank you, Mr. Rat attorney legal counselor for defamation of sewer rats sewer rats V. Gazardo. Thank you, Glenn Sugden. Thank you, the Ronnie James trio. Aka a turn him Dave. I turned Dave. Thank you, Bob Underdunk.

Thank you, Brian Stopp. Thank you, Beezle Betty. Thank you, Eric Payne. Thank you, flea47 on TikTok with the pro D&D pro tips. Thank you, A-Gorilla. Thank you, Douglas Calabrese. Thank you, Jeremy Smith. And finally, thank you, Brian and Sarah's

Just For Dogs Toilet Rat Turd Buffet. I don't understand that're saying that reference. Oh, yeah. Well, how did that go, Brian? I think the toilet rat obviously is Sarah, but then my my dog ate out of the toilet, remember? Oh, right. Turd buffet. Yeah. Ernie would eat toilet or would eat turds. Yeah.

And roads was sounded like a dead milkman lyrics for a second. I was like, is this a line from smoking banana peels? What is that? All right, well On that note Blaine who are those supporters brought to us by? Spores brought to us by UFC ultimate fried chicken tap out to flavor with UFC and stiletto Healy's Let him know you mean business sexy business The fun me pumps from stiletto Heely's Dan Hey blame. Yeah, I

That stiletto Heely's are now gonna be delivered by an AI bot. I'm so sorry That the whole the whole the whole thing has to be AI generated we need it to borrow the copy from someone else's commercial flip-flop, please That was the flip flops that are he leads Yeah, Joe goes on the flower flip-flop, please Now I'm being attacked by the pimping I did of that joke well for sale flip-flops never won Dan I can't figure out how to get into my system and turn this off. I

Understand just try keep clicking minimize and and hopefully it'll take All right rocks close it out. Keeley's. Control, delete, control. Keeley's at the crocks. Yeah, I'm just gonna turn the volume down. Jack, close it out. All right, well, now that it is singing

Stuart by the Dead Milk Man, it's time to talk about... What happened last time on Nerdpoker? Our heroes looted a fountain and then gathered all the loots up with those fire pokers that they stole from the mayor's mansion on the way out. Stole might sound like a harsh word since they gently lifted them while saving the butler, but they did Explode it in a pillar of flame. So there's that We now take you to that already a progress on you also as Chris was kind enough to remind me before we started recording. I

Went down to the gnome quarter and started hunting for where this mining guild was that Supposedly had a shoot going down to the old Tied gnome quarter and started hunting for where this mining guild was that supposedly had a shoot going down to the old tide gnome civilization, where I guess they have been, I guess I'm the dungeon master, where apparently they have been mining long ago and they were using the mining equipment or something. But you guys have just sort of gotten to the building, found the Mason's sigil on the brickwork. And while casing the building, found a little worm, on the special little guy. Oh.

And a little nematode. Spicoli and who else found the worm? Me. Siam? Siam, great. I get a Charismic, Charismic. Yeah, I'm sticking with that. Saving throw from you two.

Charisma. I got a 16. I just, my Charisma just got pumped up. I leveled up. Nice. Nice. Nice. Brian. Nice. Brian, what you got?

What's he got that I ain't got? I see. I'm not even wisdom saving throw. But that's from the last time. Yeah, I'm not even. Can it give me one second to play and you got something? It's all good. last time. Yeah, I'm not even a connect. Give me one second to blame. You got something. It's all good, but yeah. Yeah. Blank. Can you actually turn the volume back up on the chatbot?

That's yeah. On our commercials for a second. Yeah, just a little bit. He's got some error with it or Jordan. He is Chuck Taylor. He is Chuck Taylor. One star. He is glow near the glow.

Chuck, look how fast he lives on the leaves. I think the AI got blackout drunk and starting to get a little slurred and volume up and down. Kenny gas. He is in an exorcist. All he is there a gas from killy town can be of key. Oh my God. Okay.

It's a saving throw. I think we all need to roll one right now. It is charisma saving throw. Yes. OK. Yes. For you to discover the worm. You've been here. Thank you, Blaine.

Oh, not not very high. Well, it's time for me to destroy another Brian Poisson character. Brian, you rolled a four, it looks like. Yeah. Blaine with a 16 for a moment, you wince as your mind starts to darken and you get this split pain right between your eyes as if a needle is being inserted right into the space above your nose. But after you shake your vision side to side,

Spicoli, who is now in a very pleasant, comfortable dreamland, is starting to kneel on the ground and then you see him starting to lay prone next to the worm. Oh no. I'm going to attack the worm, please. Okay. Yeah, I'm going to- Roll to attack. Okay.

Let me see what I've got. Can I first pick up the worm with a Mage Hand? Let's see. Would that be like an unarmed strike or a grapple or something? It would be, I'm trying to see what the strength is. It wouldn't have to be strong, right? But if it resists even a little bit,

I'm not sure how that works. So, Mage Hand, itists even a little bit, I'm not sure how that works. So, mage hand, it might be a grapple. I'm looking for mage hand stats. It can't carry more than 10 pounds. So it's pretty weak. Okay, I'm just gonna, I got a 15. And if I can do that, I'm gonna pick up the worm and I'm gonna snap it like an inside out sock.

And then I'm gonna toss it out of range of brine so that I have some time to fuck it up from a distance. Okay, so how are you destroying it once the Mage Hand picks it up, hypothetically? I am gonna have it try to resist you, but yeah. Pick up and do like a little whip snap with it. And then- With your hand? With the Mage Hand. Oh, okay, gotcha. You're gonna try to break it in a little whip snap with it and then with your hand with the the mage hand

Okay, gotcha. You're trying to break it in half by whipping it with I just guys want to like fuck with it for a second And then and then toss it Away from away from Spicoli Wow Even though I'd love to bat around, it looks battable. Oh, and it's got shitty strengths. We're gonna use the slod tadpole stats. Ha ha ha.

And it's what got like chopped up cabbage and some carrots. Yeah. So assuming that you're assuming that your mage hand has like a negative two to do a an attack like an unarmed attack with the mage hand, which is Okay, and I have a I'm gonna say a negative two penalty on it as well. Okay, that only gives me a plus four then Exactly 18 to 22 Even if I Rethink that and reduce that, so there's no plus two because it's not your hand or no plus four even.

But I would still destroy it. You would still destroy the AC of 12. So, yeah, you crack it in half, chuck it aside. The second it cracks in half, Spicola, you blink back awake. Oh, I killed it laying on the ground all of a sudden. Yeah, it's dead. Oh, OK. Well, it blink back awake. Oh, I killed it laying on the ground all of a sudden. Yeah, it's dead. Oh, OK. Well, it happened, man. Yeah.

Hey, man. You know those gummy worms that you always are sneaking out of your your pocket that you think we don't see? Yeah, that one had a face, bro. Shit, man. Hey, does anyone else think that Siam's like character voice has gotten a little different over the last couple of years.

I threw a throw a morale in the end there. I was just trying to I was just trying to speak Spicoli. Yeah, it sounded a little bit like you got some contact high off hanging out with Spicoli. The world got closed, bro. So you all you all gather on the side of the house after hearing the we're going there. They're not coming back to us.

Sertian's. Well, I mean, you can meet up on, we'll say, the back of the house. OK, you seek them. You seek them out as they seek you. But let's get an investigation check. Did I not? I don't think it gave you one, but we'll say But let's get an investigation check. Did I not, I don't think it gave you one, but we'll say just in case you did, that this is also going to include walking

to the back of the house. This is just for Twiddin and for Shlobe. Can I give us guidance as we? This is, yeah, yeah. And this, well, you're together, right? You're not taking opposite sides of the house? Well, it's up to you, Shlobe right? You're not taking opposite sides of the house. Well, it's up to you, Shalab. Do you want to take opposite sides of the house or?

This is what you're doing while the worm incident happens. Narrative, we copy that. Yeah, let's take opposite sides. All right. I'll go up whatever the left. You go up the right. OK. And then and Little Peepers was flying up and he's going to return to you guys and tell you what he saw Well, I got a sweet six in my investigation so and I got a sweet nine sixty nine high five

Nice five Everyone over the ice five. I thought that was that was a special reference that I made for both 69 and the group we had in season three. Remember when we were team treasure club bears? Team talent treasure club. I remember that mug somewhere. I I remember you guys talking about that in detail on a bonus episode a few years ago,

and it sounded delightful. Sounded. Pre-recording. Pre-recording. I had the only here at secondhand. That was in the Cupcake days. There was there was also back. Didn't didn't Sark like once strand you guys in the middle of a desert or something or like on the middle of the ocean?

Yeah. Oh yeah. That's what I'm thinking of. On the ocean for like what? A month or something? I think that was Brian's character, Jackie, I want to say Pickles were involved. Yeah, I feel like Pickles.

I sure did. Every day I would fly out and I would web, because I was paralyzed, so I was always flying or levitating, and I would fly out and I would web because I was I was paralyzed. So I was always flying or levitating and I would fly out over the boat and use my web to catch a bunch of fish. We would eat fish until we got back to land. And then cupcakes. That was that was at his house, though.

That was the Jackie days were at my house. Yes. And then Chris's old office. Yeah. Nice. When Ernie was around. Oh, sweet Ernie. Privilege to have met the pooch that was in the comedians of comedy document. Yes. Not a lot of not a lot of dogs have like alternative cred like that.

I know, right? He was, he was, he was spoken of on, what was that record label? There was a record, there was like a record label that put like an EP out or something, right? It was like, what was that? AI Atlantic. Well, I put my record out on relapse, the metal label.

But but did you talk about Ernie on relapse? Oh, yeah, absolutely. God, he's so fucking metal. Yeah. All right. Well, RIP Ernie, and you guys are coming to discuss your investigation checks which were low but once you get to them you can at least verify that this building looks abandoned for the most part but there's a lot of abandoned buildings around here and this one does not look like

it is similar to the other ones. It looks like it was in operation until recently when the Gnomes, for the most part, started abandoning Dallesmith. So you see signs that this was used at least a couple of months ago, casually, and that there was a lot of mineral deposits hauled off of a dock on the back of the building where you guys are standing right now. Lil Peepers comes over and says, he points upwards and says, you can see there's actually a crane. The crane must have been lifting this ore onto a truck that would come down the alley back here.

So, now that we've cased the building, we've murdered a worm. Shall we break in? Crime boner activate the the the let's all get an insight check from everybody and I'll let you know what you think your options are and any other relevant information may be thinking about right now in game. She's at least eight. OK, for a game today.

Well, after 20 some episodes of you all rolling thirties on everything, I suppose the dice have given up. Oh, wait, I'm going to take my passive inside of 20. Brian inside inside. I am right here. I always do a bling did in my games. You can request the passive before you roll. Once you you roll the passive is a thing of the past my my Perceptions high my insights not that high so I'm gonna

I'm gonna roll That's so Sorry 15 and still better than my passive, but uh yeah And none of these roles are horrible. Lil Peepers is also going to roll. Let me pull him up. I keep forgetting he's not in the nerd poker thing in D&D Beyond.

He's in my other characters. I should add him to the nerd poker campaign, but I don't want to take up spots. He's rolling, he's rolling. Rolling, rolling, rolling. 14,. He's rolling, he's rolling. Rolling, rolling, rolling. 14, so he's rolling, rolling, rolling. Now that you guys are all about the same score and you've combined your information,

Lil Peepers will just tell you that he thinks right where you're at might be a good place to go in because there are some large cellar doors next to you and that would take you directly into the basement, a lower level theoretically. He was like, we could at least crack open, we could at least crack that open and see what it looks like down through these cellar doors.

The rest of you think it would be relatively easy to pop the nailed boards off the windows or the front door if you really wanted to. You don't really see a particularly guaranteed way, but probably because of the ventilation needed in a mining operation, there are vents coming out of the building at many points. Probably fans were blowing air in and out of this building at one point. Somehow gnomes are pretty crafty and probably had a nice little clockwork system of keeping it from filling with mining fumes and smoke and dust.

But yeah, they still don't worry. But you guys are also getting just sort of weird. Like the worm was not great, you know? Last time you saw a worm, it was in a building where the ground had erupted forth and worms were coming out of it. Yeah. The workshop, the gnome workshop.

So it does feel similar in an unsettling way to that situation. Can we listen at the cellar? Assuming the cellar doors are ultimatelyling way to that. So can we listen at the seller? Assuming the seller doors are ultimately the way to get in. Maybe the peepers in the sneaky thieves. Do you guys want to see what the hell's up with? I saw peepers in the sneaky thieves open for the dwarves at CBG bees. But yeah, if you guys would like anyone who wants to press their ears against the cellar door is welcome to.

But as you do these investigation checks, if more and more you do it, it's going to create a lot of noise while you crowd around the door. I would just like to give them guidance if I could. But no, I don't need to listen. Dan, can I ask you a question? Yes. Is there anything, knowing what I know about these worms and stuff,

is there anything that I think we could maybe do to prevent getting attacked psionically or telepathically by these things? Is there, like, can we plug our ears or avoid looking at them? Is it, do they try to possess us with their eyes or is it mind beams? Do I, can I do like an arcana or an insight check with it? See if there's anything that we can do to avoid this. Well, there are several kinds of saving throws you'd be doing.

So mechanically speaking, it's unclear. You did just do a charisma, but I would say more often intelligence saving throw is what you would do for a psychic attack. That's, I think, wisdom comes in there too. Charisma was specifically for this moment, for my custom rule, but intelligence wisdom and charisma saving throws

that could be given an advantage or a bonus would be good. If you have any items or spells that would work like that, and you're not sure what is causing these worms to absorb souls, but you know they're absorbing souls from people. So it's, it's in your best interests not to get whammied by a worm. And so wanting and wanting to protect yourself is good. You're just not like, like a helmet with tin foil on it.

You're not sure exactly what besides those obvious things could do. And that's with, you know, just really high passive insights. Do we feel like these things are frightening or charming us? Cause I have a thing, I have a thing called counter charm is why I'm asking. Cause you have, because you have counter charm, I will let you specifically do an arcana check. Okay. Jesus, terrible eight. I will, you know a three. I'm going to roll a three.

I'm going to roll a three. I'm going to roll a three. I'm going to roll a three. I'm going to roll a three. I'm going to roll a three. I'm going to roll a three. I'm going to roll a three. I'm going to roll a three.

I'm going to roll a three. I'm going to roll a three. I'm paying the toll today. It is high price. It could work. It could work maybe. There's a chance. Okay, I'm just trying to get a sense. Alright, well I will share that with my friends that I have this certain phrase I've been working on

on the loot and if we see those things I can strum it and basically give all of us advantage on against being charmed as a reaction. So like if that thing tries to charm us, at least that's something I can do to help. And it works for me and any friends that I have within 30 feet. So as long as we're relatively close to each other and you can hear me strum. So there you go. Okay. All right. I have a protection from good and evil spell that I'll keep loaded

up because that keeps you from being charmed and possessed and frightened and stuff. I'm just trying to see if I have any other stuff. I have a personal thing about saving throws but not for the group. Sorry, I think my main thing is counter charm. I think that's the way I can help folks. All right, do you guys want to listen in? Sure. Yeah, like I'll give me as was requested, you could do guidance. Yeah, I'd like to give them each guidance. But we're talking only to people. If a third person walks up there, it's going to be with disadvantage

because you're trying to get noise through a solid door. I don't want to listen. And me neither. I want to stay back with my friends. The Shalab. Simon Spicoli, do you two want to do this? I'll do it. And you stealth. Do you have dark listing?

Well, no, I do have you know, for 60, dark vision. Nice. Anybody else? Just me. Stealth. I think you and Sam, right? OK, cool.

Are two sneaky boys. Twenty seven. Nice. What's sorry, what's the what's listening? I just rolled. So what's the role? So listening to get up there. Oh, for stealth.

Well, is that what you wanted me to roll down at? It's. It's it's investigation. Oh, investigation. Investigation. OK, cool. Yeah. OK, I'm 20 to nine plus 11. And you have guidance if you want to add a D for.

I got the same thing. We got 20 and also 17 plus three. She's. And another three, 23. Nice. Oh, and what guidance? I got a D for if you want. I'll take it. Oh.

The air around the air on the other side of the. So 24, I can investigate better. Sure. I'll adjust the sentence. I got a 24. I can investigate better. Sure. I'll adjust the sentence I was halfway through. But yeah, I swear I have the opposite ADHD that everyone else in this group has. But yeah, you can tell from the way just even dead air is echoing up from the space on the other side of the door that there is a large open space on the other side of it, meaning not another doorway, blockage, or wall

within this real rough gate, guess like 10 feet. Sometimes when you enter a room that's dark, you can almost tell how big it is by the sound it makes in silence. There's that sort of like quiet echo of your ear against the door that makes you think that there is a big open space. But that could be a lot of things that are very normal,

just a factual information. About all you can get from listening also. But no worms. No loud slithering noises. from listening also. But no, no worms. No loud slithering noises. Oh, I wish it was so expectant. You guys, is it is it locked? Is it trapped? I will.

I would say you can tell it is it is not easily openable when you press your ears to it, but you'd have to really do a separate investigation check to know that. Can I do that? Yep, go for it. I'm gonna take my passive investigation of 21.

Jeez. It is magically locked. You note there are no bolts. You note that it does not have give if you were to pull on it. There's no sense that these doors have been opened in a very long time either. So there's a combination of dust around the hinges,

almost just like rust starting to form over the hinges. This is, is this the gnome? There's some sort of barrier keeping it tight. Dan, is this the gnome workshop that was abandoned a couple months ago? This is different from the workshop. This is, this is on the south side of town. The one that you met the first where I'm in. No, I not that workshop of a, isn't this a gnomish building? Yes.

Correct. So does it feel like this is a gnome, the security system? You know what I mean? Like could be. I mean, I would say you guys don't really have enough information. If it's magically locked, can I dispel magic? Sure.

What level are you gonna dispel? Level four. Great. Well, level four, no problemo. There is a magic twinkling sound as Shalob waves his hand over the cellar door. It appears you've dispelled the magic lock. Pfft.

Wow, that fish hat is incredible. Shalob, did you just do that with the fish hat? Yep. Nah, it's great. You know, and some stuff I had going in. Oh, nice. great, you know. And some stuff I had going in. Oh, nice. Put that fish hat. Shalabs Fish Hat brought to us by Bubba Gum Shrimp Company.

So yeah, it is now magically unlocked and does not appear to be physically locked. It is, however, something I'm gonna rank you all rolling in, sight check on. Can I give guidance, or is this happening in the most? This is this is happening in the moment. You know, is that another thing from Baldur's Gate three? I found interesting is they do something that's I think not. It's both very D&D like rules and it feels like something I've never seen before. So maybe they're they're bastardizing the rules a little bit for the video game.

But there will be moments where, you know, when you do a saving throw, you're reacting to something that's happening to you. It's not planned ahead of time, but you would call that, say, a wisdom saving throw. You would pick one of the main attributes to have the saving throw, but they will have it if it's situational in the moment, be like an insight save,

which I've never seen outside of that game. Kind of what I'm doing, though, if anyone's curious. All right. Hey, how's the 28 grab you, Dan? Oh, right by the nang nangs. What are we rolling? Insight insight. Insight save. I know you're over 18.

That guy. But I don't. Insight save. I was just. I went on a big rant to try to protect you from worrying about it, but but mommy got codependent and overdid it, so I apologize. Oh, my. We all need spankings.

Oh, 18 plus two. Peach pearly cry nearly came out of my nose. Thank you, Ken. Ah, delicious soda, by the way. Oh, holy shit. It's barely right. Did you have any of that when you were over my place? Oh, so fucking tight.

It's truly this is this is the greatest of La Croix's. So I can recommend enough. Everyone keep them. It doesn't taste like flavored soda. It is a good thing. Correct. It is light. It is crisp. Pear is one of the most delicious flavors on God.

God's green earth. And then you get it from Harry and David and it goes bad because you can't think of a reason to eat a pear. But you guys are going to be able with that role to kind of go, OK, well, this probably has a security system that is new based off the new information we have, but it also probably has old stuff. So it's, you know, people have been using this recently. You figured that out as a part of the invasion, so to speak. It's a way down into the mines and someone has been coming in and out of here,

but the gnomes must have had a lot of valuable work here, and so there might be old gnome stuff separate from that. But the spell was a pretty simple arcane lock spell. So it would not have taken a powerful wizard to lock that door the way it was locked. Should we maybe, and again, I will look towards the sneaky thieves and be like, maybe not that we know it's not magically trapped. You guys should really give this the thorough once over and see, because if we think it is a gnome place and we know how like that, for example, that one guy was a mad inventor,

there might be sneaky gadgety traps having nothing to do with magic as well. Maybe you guys take a look at that. Yeah. Sleight of hand or stealth. What do I do? Oh, but that would be that would be. Yeah, I want to make a difference since we've done like four investigations and five insight checks at this point. Let's do a slight hand check if you want to check the door, but it'll just be you. One person will give you guidance.

OK. We dolls. We don't. 18 with his guidance. Thank you. Nothing on the door. OK, ladies and gentlemen, yet another D&D session about a door. It's the most common, most popular way to spend a session worrying about a door.

They really need to add a third D. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. All right, well, if it seems good, I will try and give it an open. Okay. You cracked the door open and can tell this is going into a dusty cement basement that has no tile over it. It looks clean. You see stains on it and scrapes on it, implying heavy things have been dragged back and forth. There's a pair of rails that extends into the darkness and comes right up against the cellar doors and flying into some sort of mining cart. Bless you Ken.

Mining cart that went deep into the middle of the building, probably near a shaft of some kind. And would roll up to, I'm just talking about shaft. Um. Um. Oh my God. Oh fuck. The crane on the roof probably,

the crane on the roof probably lifted or out of this cellar door and put it on the trucks. It's about to get right now. It's dark in here. You because there is a short flight of stairs going down into the first cellar floor, it's it's dark and also you don't have a good angle. You'd have to at least step down to use dark vision, but it's not lit.

Let's make sure I have that on. It looks like specifically, this was not something humans went in and out of, or gnomes or any sentient beings. This was something meant for, originally built for things to be hauled out and such. All right, well I will if it's all good, I'll kind of make eye contact with everybody and give them the old thumbs up and it's all good man sort of maybe move my head and I don't want to go in too

far because I'm not really like the sneaky thief but I am happy to like go down the steps and give it a peek. Oh, I'll try to do so quietly. Twin, can I get a perception check? Of course, may I give myself good? Yes. And do you have dark vision? I do. Maybe you did. OK, 18 and then a custom

fey touched friend. That's right. 20 with the guidance. Nice. There's a broad expanse. You can see pretty far in there. And in the middle of the building that you've all kind of cased and walked around about 100 feet away from the cellar door. You can see there's some sort of stone structure

probably connected to a just talking about shaft. There's a bad motherfucker. Oh, Jesus. I think that was so loud. But yeah, the cellar looks like it doesn't have any lights on. No torches lit, no candles lit. No movement. And with you said it was a 20 exactly. Yeah. OK.

You see him. Excuse me, hiccups. You see in the back of the seller a pair of glowing red eyes. Oh, scale wise. How big of a thing do I think that is? Are you pulling your head away as soon as you see it or are you going to squint your eyes and take a look? It's great.

Oh, well, Dan, when you say it like that, of course I'm going to pull back. Okay. Then what's your passive insight? Passive insight, you say? I do. I'll play your game. Finally.

Doors and. Yeah, it it it looked like the eyes were set far apart, but not high off the ground. Something maybe about your height, but with a wide head like a worm, probably some can I mean about your height, but with a wide head. Like a worm, probably some Ken. I mean. About your height though. Bill Maher. Maybe it's a worm.

Is it Bill Maher? All right, well, I will certainly snap back and tell my friends. Otherwise though, Dan, it's a big open sort of like industrial workspace. Yeah, you saw you saw work tables. You saw the mining cart pushed up against the stone structure of mining cart that you would take these rails would take these rails all the way to the cellar door. You kind of trace the rails straight ahead to this structure and the empty cart is empty from the angle. You can see it. You're looking at it, though, directly from the side.

So you can't see if there's anything under, but there's nothing spilling out of it or overflowing like a classic cartoon mining cart that has a big mound bulging out of it. I mean, guys, we could use a little strategic here because you guys as thieves, you get special damage and stuff like that, right? When you're at advantage, when you're hidden and stuff like that. What if you guys, like, I don't know, maybe sneak into the room silently and get, like, you know, away from the door, and then Shalab and I can sort of act as, the duke do do do here we come whatever that thing is Will come for us and you guys have the drop on it

How far away? Seems like a hundred feet that right Dan. It was in the back It was it was somehow more than a hundred feet, but you're not sure beyond at least all right terrific, mm-hmm I was somehow more than 100 feet, but you're not sure beyond that. At least all right. Terrific. Mm hmm. I mean, that's just one idea. We don't have to do that. And I'm good with it. All right. I will.

If I if I can, I'll like to give each of them guidance as they assume, try and sneak in there somehow. Somehow stealth like. All right. Yeah. Oh. And you're out. I am going to grab my notebook and kind of draw. We won't guess. I think we're being remote makes it tricky.

Oh, sorry. No, no, I would like reality to apologize. Fuck, I'm sorry, sorry. No, no, I would like reality to apologize. Fuck, I'm sorry, Dan. Oh, thank you. You actually owe me a lot more apologies. Reality. Reality Adams. So I got to go. I'm bending until I break. I wish Sid and Marty Croft would animate my vape pen. Oh, play with me, Brian. Come play with me, Brian, come and play with me.

Brian's got Freddy. I will take you on a trip far across Encino. Help me, Brian, help me. Be fun to see what 70s celebrities that get to play Brian's different bongs and screens and psychedelic friends. different like bongs and screens and psychedelic friends. It's me, your C3PO bong. All right, almost done drawing this, almost done drawing this.

I'm gonna cough to get off. But I wanna kind of give you guys a sense of what you're sneaking into. It's all day. Don't answer that. When's the last time anybody watched the Halloween special, the Pauline Halloween special? Year ago. Yeah, that's right. You do it every year, Ken?

Seems like it. I mean, now the more I think about it, huh? Yeah, it does seem to be about the same time of year, every year. Yeah, I watch it all the time just to make sure that Bruce Vellanche gets sunglasses, money from residuals. How does it hold up this T-shirt? I mean, it was never good.

Yeah. All right. So you guys are now. That is always stuff I've watched. And it's amazing. Yeah. Heart heart heartily endorse. Yes. So let's see. I want to be able to. Yes. So this is the cellar door, like as you're approaching it, just to give you a sense of

why it's hard. There's like a tiny vestibule, right? Okay. So like that, that's a doorway with the tracks going into the darkness and you have that bad angle, right? So you can only see a little bit without peeking your head down like Twedden did. When you guys are sneaking, do you want to get past this doorway or do you want to stay in the little vestibule and peep?

How sneaky are you being? I don't want to encourage you to be overly sneaky and then spend it. There's not even a door in this doorway down here. I don't want you to like spend another episode on a non door, but yeah, I'm not trying to. Trickery and I'm just asking. Yeah, I think I think like, aren't you guys trying to like not get in there

undetected right so that they can be snipers when the thing comes to attack me and can. Yeah, let's let's get a stealth check, please. That's on right to Brian and Blaine. Yeah, yeah, totally. Stealth? Mm-hmm. 24.

I have a plus 12, but I only got a 17. You have guidance if you want it. Oh, let's see what that have. A 20. Yeah. Thank you, Chris. Of course, of course, of course. Thank you, had. A 20. Yeah. Thank you, Chris. Of course, of course, of course. Thank you, Chris.

All right. Brackets, miss brackets. Let's get a perception check from you guys now. Perception. Let's see what I got. I got a 19 percepti on. Oh, from us. I'm sorry.

Oh, I don't know. Anyone who's stealthed in yet. 16. We're in stealth. 16, Dan. Great. We have guidance on this one again. If you're all.

Yeah, I think you did say you were giving them guidance. I did, but I can only do it by touch. And if they've snuck away, then I can no longer give guidance. I think you said it before we officially had to make sure. So they can both add guidance to that if you want. Yeah, then we just will have to choose if it's for like now or later, right? But yes, so 20.

Um. And Brian, Uh, now or later, right? But yeah, so 20, um, and Brian, did you want to roll? No, I did. Just roll. Yeah, three. Great. You scan the room and you think you see the eyes that Twitter talked about. They're kind of like cocked at an angle too.

And as you squint to look at them, they almost look like they rotate and you see a third eye. Oh, no. One of the eyes disappears into the dark on the right. And then another new eye appears on the left as it rotates. It does glow red and appear to be examining the room in some fashion, but it's a dark shape. It's like I said, about your height, but kind of squat.

Wide set eyes. And it's too dark to get a sense of it because of how far away it is, and it's behind, you know, various room items that give you a bad look. You'd have to sneak in farther or light up the room. Light up. Is that what I want to say on this podcast? Is there a beholder vibe to it? Great question.

What's your passive insight? Passive insight 20. Do a history check, Blaine. 18 plus seven, 25. Jesus. You can narrow it down to maybe five monsters that you know of and a beholder would be one of them. Oh my God, there's five monsters.

You'd be able to narrow it down to beholder kin or about four other things, but your character would have to decide what those are. And if you ran out of ideas, I could fill them in for you. Like a hydra. Sure. A a Hydra. Sure. A baby Hydra. Carion Crawler.

Maybe. Carion Crawler. Maybe. Be pieces. Yeah, Carion Crawler does have multiple eyes and you, you actually have encountered Yeah, there's a big one. Carion Crawler before.

Before, yeah. But I would say the one you encountered earlier had two eyes. They were on stalks. And they were up here? Eyes are up here? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not looking at your tits. Yeah, I was checking out its carrion.

It was very well behaved. Um, okay. Well, I think we're gonna have to find out what the fuck this was on the next episode of Nerding Pokes. Uh-oh. Oh dear, Oh, dear. Oh, dear, dear. But spooky red eyeballs.

Rotating in the door. I will. I'll plug my stuff. Yeah, you can. You can hire me to run a D&D campaign for you at DanTulfer.com. Brian Pusane.com. I've got a nerd poker plushie. Goalford.com. Brianpussain.com. I've got a Nerd Poker plushie. Go to my... It should be up on the Nerd Poker website too,

but I'll make sure we link to it. But it's definitely on my website. But it's my character. From a couple years ago, one of the logos we did for I don't know who you would call, but there's like an echo skeleton on me or, you know, it's exoskeleton. I mean, it's really cool. Check it out.

Full warrior badass. You are simulating a fire giant king snr. Yeah. And then, yeah, that's right. This week, I'm at a San Diego Comic Con Thursday, three o'clock at the image booth, signing Gromit's and Rifter's. And then I have one other appearance, but look to look at Brian Pessain. I'll come that'll help you.

And then I've got a few shows coming up, but I'm going to work in September on that Stuart fails to save the universe. So some of my standup schedule will be moving around, but I'll try to get to you in the in the spring or summer. Brian, you doing craft service on that plane? Yeah. yeah. You're doing crafty. That's great. Just a cheese plate and just put spoons and everything.

And I love those nerds, those nerd clusters. So I'm going to go to my god. Close to clusters instead of nerd poker sometime. Oh, my God. So fun. They're crunchy. And my favorite, my favorite thing at the airport. And when an airport doesn't have their clusters, I'm kind of mad.

And if they have only Pepsi products and no nerd clusters, it kind of ruins my whole day. Oh, gosh. Flight my entire flight. Kind of flying to Burbank. I'm very fragile. If you don't have zero and nerds, I don't think we shouldn't be friends.

Blaine, what are you doing this week? Hey, I'm going to be there's a mad TV panel at Comic Con with Dave Herman and Phil Lamar and Deborah Wilson, maybe Nicole Sullivan and I. We're going to talk about the old mad TV days. Cool. And then what's going to happen on next week's nerd poker? We attribute the success saved mankind for joining us on this episode. You got walls and a roof. On the next nerd poker, Brian gets scrotal reduction surgery that tucks his nuts

up and away like seagull feet. Can Blaine come up with a new runner before the end Thanks for listening.