Nerd Poker - The Fog Campaign - Episode 34

Episode Date: August 27, 2025

Now that the xorns are sorted, it's time to do something about the nasty eyeball wound that Twooden took from the splodey rapier. And where better to get a proper high-level healing spell performed on you than the thief's guild, from a from a high-ranking but shady guild officer that you've never seen before? For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Hey, it's Brian Posein. Nerd Poker. We're calling it... The Sod campaign. My friends are here. Chris Blaine. Ken, engineer Sam, and of course our kick-ass DM,

Dan Telford. Welcome to Nerd Poker Hey everybody to Brian Poseid You're listening to Nerd Poker It's a Fog campaign, right?

No. Oh no. What do we call? This is a regular. It's called the Thick Mist campaign. Oh, it is. You're an asshole. I fell for it.

T-H-I-C-C-E. Who am I? Am I, J-F-Frey? My friends are here. Ken. hi blaine hi dan hi chris is on zoom but i'm here uh and running the show at the end of the table sam everybody hello sweet children what's your shirt is that a homemade no it's a promo for the shitty new chrome oh my god how dare you this is a brandon lee house uh uh

Place the new crow. Oh, Scars Guard, I think. Yeah, I'm sure he's great, but. I did not see it. I haven't seen it. He is great and that it is terrible. Yeah, I'm sure. He tries his best in what is clearly a mistake. Yeah, you shouldn't have never been.

You can't try. I love the Scars Guard. Do you see Murder Bot? Yes. No. Love Murder Bot. It's very good. Oh, boy.

Is there a movie actually called MurderBots? No, but it's a show. It's a show. It's, you know, David Desmaltian, a friend of many of our friends. It's Alexander Scars Guard, right? The blonde one who's more our age. Yeah, he's excellent as a side...

But not, is he a side? No, he's not a cyber. He's an android. An android made of organic tissue that is like hired to keep a space exploration team safe and fucking awesome. Yeah, I've heard nothing we could think that. Yeah, it's like science fiction

was like our sense of humor like infused in like a science fiction exploration it's like the it's like the sidebargan alien and aliens kind of yeah yeah except it was like red blood instead of milk oh okay i always start a spoiler uh instead of being full of cum he's got blood like a person yeah well he is young and dumb my blood is come some people hobo hump and slowbo babe uh what's up i want to thank some people i will thank you everyone who just listened to that last stretch of the podcast and decided that they would contribute

at one of our top two tiers of support. You should hear the shit we were seeing off. Oh, my God, you guys. We got into the annals of furry history. Not quite, too many ends. Correct. But I do want to thank people and just take a brief moment of silence

to remember the time we need between what we just said and what we're about to say. Thank you to users like Dengwain Halfstep. Thank you, Dangwain Halfstep. Thank you, Tuchan, son of Sam. Thanks, old Portland stew. The best. Thank you, Steinmetz, Piano's, Ghibel's voice.

We didn't call for a piano tutor. Gago voice. No, but you're not, Dersold. I don't know. I'm doing a multi-part bit in multiple voices and knowing how my acting is supposed to go It can be a little much for this. You're shooting in this base.

I got ahead of it. Thank you. Thank you, Bryce, Spider, Lisser. Thank you, Beholder up front, jibbering mouther in the back. Oh, man. What the hell just happened? Dungeons and Mullets. Thank you, Randy Butternubs.

Thank you, Glivels' proud level one improv class teacher. That was one of my proudest NPC moments is when he was going, oh, now, daddy. Save me, Papa, oh, boo, Daddy. Thank you, Scott Dyer. Thank you, Zach Clerk. Thank you, Ben. Thank you, Panda.

Thank you, Xylophone, Skelington. Thank you, Reverend Yorick. Thank you, Drew Hugh Uwitt fan. And finally, thank you, a Morton GERB. Blaine, who are the supporters brought to us by? Supporters brought to us by Cool Sider Pillow-Chiller. Make both sides the Cool Side with the Cool Sider Pillow-Chiller. No more flipping!

With the Cool Sider, A. Whoa. Dan? well blame it's time to talk about what happened last time on nerd poker shit our heroes finally murdered those zorn what were crawling up out of the dirt and grabbing their ankles and biting them but unfortunately twiddens rapier exploded in his face also little beepers's leg got nod on so although they were about to traverse a tunnel that goes to the under city of They're now taking a little sojourn from Soggy Town, where they spoke to a shaman and found out they could have great restoration cast on them over to, none other than the Thieves Guild, where they hope to purchase some diamond dust. We now take you to Nerd Boker already in Broliff.

All right. What do you mean what the fuck? That was beautiful acting. I have an agent. All right. There is talent agency, everybody. would you believe you are all heading up there

it is early evening around 7.30 p.m. The sun is setting over both Encino, California and Féhrun. You're right now kind of like heading up through one of the main

streets of Delsmiss to the north side with the Thieves Guild. You know, its entrance is hidden underneath an illusionary bush in a park. As we go into this thing, we know this thieves guild isn't like corrupt or bad or anything, but we also know that they're not like the most, they don't flex, right? They just kind of do what they do. Yeah. So my thought is perhaps we make sure as we walk in our great leader, Shalab with his weird fish skull. But for sure,

he was going to say Joffrey. So that's why I was shaking. I know. But yes, the fish skull on Shalab does Intimit. Oh, Joffrey, if you were wearing that fish skull, holy shit, I'd have a heart on 24-7. Gross. This stuff he almost says. Sounds like someone's into people who dress up like fish. But for whatever reason, it's our friend Shalab. And let's have him walk in there as like, you know, whatever, Dr. Doom. And we'll back him up.

And he, I'll give him guidance. if that's such a thing. Does anybody else have a thing they can do? I mean, I can confirm guidance is a thing. Yeah, but I mean, our friends are thieves. I don't mean to discount them. But I feel like if we walk in with him sort of like at the tip of the spear and us flanking him, that'll be good.

Now, are you trying to create a sense of urgency or are you trying to create a sense of intimidation? I want to back up, honestly, whatever Ken wants to do. But you're just feeling a fine. You're feeling you maybe Ken can speed it up because he looks a certain way. Yeah, I think if anything, I'm sort of like, let's raise Ken up. What do you think, Ken? How's a lot of feeling about how he's going to handle whoever the plank is? Sure.

The Plank being the representative from the field. I will take any help I can get. Okay. Are you feeling intimidating? Little Pupers, of course, just, you know, meeting his hands a little bit because he's worried. I say we head in and just be prepared. If we need to use a little muscle, we can do that.

Great. Yeah, I would think that we have a little bit of credit with these guys. I would think so, too. We made them some money. And we're coming in and ask, it's not like we can bully them. into helping them right fix my eye it's more sort of like hey great friend can you yes yes and i'll give guidance to ken great okay so uh you guys walk on over to the mighty bush

and head down through the hidden stairwell to the door with a slut on it do you knock on the the door? Certainly. Okay. The slide opens. We want to talk to the whoops, the head guy? The plank.

The plank. We'd like to talk to the plank. Are you speaking in common or orchish? I don't remember. I don't speak orkish. I speak under common. Perhaps could I act as like a trailer, but definitely

deferring to shala. I speak thieves can't too. You can't speak thieves can't. It's a written language. It's like symbols like the hobo code in what's that show called Madman. Okay. It's like sign. Because we know this is sort of a thiefy world.

Is there a way that the both of them could kind of come up and do like a thieves can't thing to just sort of like extra add on to, hey man, we're not just. some jackass. Look at us. Cool motherfuckers coming in and... Yeah, I mean, uh... They know us. They know what we do. You know, you know this, orc.

Copy that. Thieves can't. You might just want to get his attention, let him know that you're working up something written that is not spoken. Uh, and he might wait. Uh, but you want,

it's up to you how you want to dramatically wind up that moment. I mean, I would love it if all of us could participate. So if I could, like, an undercom and get his attention and then hand him off to the thieves so they could

communicate in their secret language and maybe then they hand them off to Ken as sort of like, look at us, group of these guilt-friendly murderers. Okay. So let's get a performance check from everybody.

All right. Can I give guidance to those guys? How long does guidance? It's It's instantaneous, right? It lasts for a minute. It's basically... Can you do it? For a minute, have one D4 to add to an ability.

Is it concentration, or can you cast it on multiple people, like a cantrip? Sorry, it's concentration, so my notion is, like, I would cast it on Ken. Okay. And then I would cast it on Brian. Okay. And then I would cast it on... I'll allow it. Great.

So, let me know those performance checks, please. 19 plus 2, 21 plus 1, 23. Oh, just 14. Okay. 22 plus 4, 26. Holy balls. So Spicoli is maybe a little subdued and introverted in this moment. But how about Twiddun?

He's just hot 11. And should we be adding a guidance to everybody's roles? So do you want to add? So do you want to add one, Brian? Tier 14? A D4. Yeah, I already did. It's going to be pretty close to that for...

17. Oh, great. Well, Peepers is a 13. You all go back and forth, trying to come up with a good sort of vibe that you're all thieves, and then lean on short. a lob who rolled very high on the performance check as your sort of final button and leader, so to speak. The orc knots closes the slide, opens the door, guides you over to the table, and you wait after a minute or so. A new plank enters. This plank is a Kuatowa. You've never

seen this particular person as a part of the Thieves Guild before, but it is a Kuatowa. They are wearing what looks like rich people's clothes, dry rich people's clothes. You've never seen a Kuatoua dress like this. He sits down at the table and goes, hi, how can I help you? Sounds like we're dealing with Tony Randall. Nice to see you. We're seeking certain components to assist my friends. Let me guess.

You are bleeding all over the floor. Sorry about that. It is a healing component. Perhaps I'll take another guess. You're looking for diamond dust. That's exactly. You can have that sort of classic greater restoration spellcast. We've had wounded come in here before.

I'm glad to hear you're familiar. We can take care of that here if you prefer. Yeah. Oh, all right. We would simply ask that you pay us in a creative way. how the thief scaled up right to understand the general value of the spell that is being cast on you and we would ask for a donation and if you choose to underwhelm us with your donation it will be taken into account that we can call upon you for a favor in the future we've done

favor for you before that's true wouldn't be we are familiar with you a surprise so would you like to make a donation now and we will cast greater restoration on you all you're here we will bring in a of our choosing. What do you think, Twyton? I love how it's like the continental. No, John Wick, you have broken out rules.

Twyden, how are you feeling about that? How much of a donation are you asking after, you know, we... Please, like us to cast greater restoration twice? Hold on. Please don't interrupt me. No, I would like to. We brought you an Ed 209, and we asked you to sell that, and you couldn't.

And then we brought you other stuff to sell as merchandise, and you couldn't. I love Chip on his shoulder, Crystal. I mean, obviously, we're making these very, very. clear attempts to work with you and you keep on uh fudging ruining it um is there a way now we could ruining perhaps come together and here we all right now let's meet the middle somehow i'll permit uh an intimidation check for this Chris. Oh, shit.

You knew you were flexing. Well, I'm sorry. Sometimes Chris flexes and he can't even help it. Chris flex, flex, flex, flex. Is that a 14? Yeah. Okay. He stares at you for a moment with his lidless Kuatowa eyes.

And he says, So, am I to understand that you think we already owe you to castings of greater restoration? I know. I think we can perhaps meet in the middle. Oh, he's not speaking. Oh, this is an insurrection. We could meet in the middle, perhaps. Okay, well, as I said, I'm not looking for a specific donation.

I'm waiting here where you'd like to donate, and so far I'm hearing more about how I failed you as a member of the Plank Circle. Well, we're still waiting to see results on the things we've done for you. So what you're saying is you have nothing to provide today. You would like us to cast this, and you believe you've already donated enough that we shan't call upon you in the future. Can I say some less, yes? I wish you would. I will look to the group. Not to ignore this obviously, like, leader in front of us, but I'll sort of like turn to,

Siam and I'll turn to the elephant and I'll turn to Spakot. The elephant. And I'll turn to Shalab. And I'll be like I believe this is their leader. Look at him. He is dry. He is in regal attire. I believe

they have sent, for lack of a better term like I think they're respecting us they've sent their friend to us and maybe by me being hostile I've maybe perhaps unintentionally misled things and I'll turn to the Kuatua and say boy if at the end of this if the Kuatua are in charge of this city I don't know if there's anything better. Oh. And I'm afraid that let's say we all bond together and solve this problem. I'm a little bit afraid about what happens when the gnomes return.

Hey, Chris, you're cutting out. Can we pause for a second? Oh, I'm so sorry. I'll try again I'll say that after we all work together and we potentially solve this problem

I'm a little scared about what happens when the gnomes return like I want to help these people I think we all want to help you and I'll look to the Kuatoha and say I think we are

of like well Chris I can feel that you wish to steer this towards a persuasion trick rather than intimidation so would you please roll accordingly oh yeah persuasion for but wait persuasion I think is my special thing

let me just check I think I believe when I have that song for special purpose I think it's that bizarre charisma thing where Adele automatically kicks up way higher

but I have to find it because I'm a dumb shit um dumb shit baby it's coming up as a seven right now. I'm sorry, Dan, but I,

let's go with that until I can figure out what the actual thing potentially could be. But it's right now a persuasion of 17. Okay. Understood.

I'm just checking some, the limitations of greater restoration, but that's just more for my curiosity and it is related to what's happening. All right, well, I see what you are attempting

to speak to me in good faith, so I will try not to take your attitude personally. We are all on the same side, so I'll tell you what. Why don't you simply tell me if you're going to donate what it will be, and we can move forward with this casting? Wait. Tell you what? we want to donate are you making a donation yes or no and if the answer is yes what will it

oh yeah we wanted to do some of the gold right yeah yeah one eight seven seven gold for eyes one eight seven gold for eyes i'm sorry we we only accept coatoa coin it's a cryptocurrency that we have created it involves pictures of fish things have gotten weird um each each picture of a fish there's got different facial expressions sometimes they're wearing fun of a little glass I'll hold up a sign to... They take gold, it's fine. Yeah, I'll hold... Just to be clear.

Behind my back off... I can't stop doing a bit. It's not that it's in the game at all. Behind my back, I'll signal 50 to Twitter. Okay. Let's see what he thinks. Twitten? Copy that, yeah.

I found my thing. It's called... I have an expertise. What I roll below a four, it actually becomes a million. Hang on one second, Chris. Sorry, we need to adjust the camera and it's making the audio cut out a little bit.

Oh, you're good. Yeah. I think you're good again. You're good, you're good. So I will smile at my friend and say, please help me so that I can become amongst our group and I'll look to my friends, I'll look to Spicoli.

And I'll say, so we can become champions for you. All right. And this is not mechanically adding a proficiency bonus or something to the earlier 17 is what you were. I mean, Dan, I think you should probably think it does that. Probably. All right. But there's not a mechanical thing that you wanted to bring up. Just so you found out what you were like.

Plus 20. What? Plus 20. Plus 20. What are you talking about it? All right. Ken, will you please roll a deception check for trying to signal to Twiddon,

something that's relatively harmless, but still clearly like a number behind your back? Sure. Was it 18? Okay. I feel pretty confident that you pulled it off. Yes, yes. Just give me a sense of what you're donating, please.

Did I see anything from Twiton? Any sort of response? I'm waiting myself. Twitter and D responded all. Shalab seems ready to negotiate the price, but he's sending you a hand signal that says 50, question mark. Yes, and I will give him double thumbs up, indicating that I have a quality called favored by the gods. Dan, once per short rest, if you fail a saving throw or miss with an attack roll, you can roll 2D4 and add it to the total, possibly changing the outcome. So let's say something's coming up.

Twyden can throw his 2D4 towards that. If someone is attacking and the saving throw is happening. Or a saving throw. What's the other? Saving throw or attack is the only times you use it, right? Dian, you're such a nag. Yeah, I mean, apparently that's it. Okay, just to be clear, you're not attacking the Kuatowa who is representing the

Oh, we love them. They're our friends. Okay. Would you like to give them a kiss? Sorry, I keep going so off track. We love their silly talk. I'm too eager to God. Your Honor, that's exactly what happened.

Oh, and of course, I'm helping to translate with my silver tongue when I make a persuasion or deception check, a detain roll of nine or lower as a 10. Okay, now is that going to be taking place? Did you roll? I believe I actually did, yeah. Was it a persuasion? Yeah, yeah. Your last one was a persuasion check that ended up being a 17,

but I don't know what the bonus part of that 17 was. So the, I believe the three would then become a 10 plus 13. So it would be a 20. Oh, a 23, you should say. Okay. Apparently that's how the game was. So instead of being so stoic and trying to hurry you along with the money, he is exactly the same way except a little more polite.

Yay. And it's like, yeah, just let me know what you're done. Let's get to it. All right. So I'll give him the 50. You give him 50 gold? Yeah. He looks at it.

All right. You are aware we are talking about about 200 gold worth of diamond dust. That's fine. That's something you want me to take care of both the eyeball and the leg. Yes, we do. It's all part of our. Mutual relationship. Rock and roll fans.

Mutual relationship, interesting. What we've given you? What you've given? Persuasion check, please. The persuasion check you're doing, Ken, right now will determine whether or not he sees you as owing something. Because you know it's 150 less than the components will cost. Of course you can give him guidance. Thank you.

You're just constantly massaging his shoulders. That was a one. 19 total. Oh, 19 total? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, he, again, lidless eyes stare at you. Very difficult to get a read on this guy. It is gross, actually.

It's like something washed up on the shore and is alive and is waiting for you to do something. Gary Oldman and Hannibal. Yeah. Well, he stands up, rolls up his sleeves. It turns out he is the cleric in question. He is going to be performing these spells himself. Oh, interesting. Yeah, he is not armored.

He is off-duty, so to speak, but you can tell that he is, he was being very careful about this negotiation because he was going to be the one casting it. So he lays hands on both Twitin and Lil Peepers. Little Peepers' leg will get to in a second. But Twitin, your eye manages to create pressure. between the orbital socket and muscle tissue and push that chunk of metal out so you all just see this thing like

under the table and it heals over luckily it missed the soft tissue of your eye there is no ooze coming out there is no lost vision you're able to blink little peepers however he

sort of winces his infection was really bad he basically got trench foot. So, oh, boy, this did not go as well as I was hoping it would. I understand.

You did what he could. It seems to me like definitely 50 gold's worth of greater restoration, but who am I, to complain? This is going to fuck up my leg on the occasional. That's just what happens

when you're an adventure, I suppose. Son of a shit. You're pretty messed up. Yeah, so that's going to be stuff that I will worry about as far as function goes, but he can walk, you know, he's still, uh, functioning in all the mechanical ways that would immediately matter to you guys. Is there anything else that can help you this? No, but thank you ever so much. Of course. For help me. Hence, we'll just, uh, make a

note of your donation. Have a good rest of your evening and, um, Tuddin. Hello. Hi. You mentioned the future of Delsmith. Yes, I did. Would you like to help the Kuwaitoa find a firm future in Delzum? This is off the record. This is not on behalf of the Thieves Guild. This is a functional member of city society, one of the Kuatowa who lives on the north side of Delsmouth. Interesting.

I mean, of course, I will turn to the group, especially, I mean, I mean, our spiritual leader, Spicoli, let's say, Spicola. Do you want to help these fish folks? Yeah, man. Hmm. I love the fish. I do sense enthusiasm. Also, would you like to round up for the Ronald McDonald house?

No. Very well. I mean, I don't. Yeah. So I would like to ask a favor. I'd be happy to, uh, let's just say, round out the donation balance for you. Oh, God. There's nothing Spicoli loves more than rounding.

I couldn't tell. So, um, again, my name is Philip. And what I would like you to do is secure city hall so that the Kuatoll may have entrance. There is a spell that has been cast on city hall on behalf of the tide gnomes that are centuries old. It prevents Kuatawa from entering City Hall, and frankly, there are not enough powerful, rich folk who know magic, who have entrance to City Hall willing to do anything about it. But if all of a sudden Kuwaitoa were able to simply walk in, we could easily involve ourselves politely in city government. So if you can find a way to get in there and simply remove the spell or the artifact producing the spell, We would be most grateful.

Perhaps if you were able to pull it off quietly, we might even owe you a favor. Wow. This is like the Texas legislature, you guys. I look over at Spicoli and see that he is emotionally engaged with this challenge. I can see immediately that there's like, not tears, Brian Wright, not tears in his eyes, but, like, he's like, ooh, alive. Let me know if you're interested

and I'll tell you what is at stake. Brian, would you say that's right that Spicoli is like, oh, my God, I can't wait to fuck this challenge. What? I like how hard Brian was listening. Seeing that,

you see it like that. Oh, no, I see it. Brian, God damn, I see it. Twin will step forward and be like, We'll do everything we can to help our friend Spicoli do what he needs to do. As you may know, various liaisons from other cities have been sort of running the town while the mayor has been in absentia. Of course, we are now expecting the mayor may be deceased. We all witnessed his home explode.

So it would be very prudent if someone were actually. able to enter city council who lived in Delsmith. That would of course be myself. I would bring other Couta with me and invite whoever wishes to be a part of meetings in City Hall to join

me, but I would take quite a lot of initiative and make sure that Delsmith's future was indeed in my hands. What I would be able to provide you with is a better entryway to the place you would like to go than that silly little hovel you were digging

around and getting ourselves maimed in. What say you? This is an alternate route, basically. An alternate route. The Thieves Guild, of course, was able to discern what you were up to because we have ears everywhere. Sure. Fish ears.

We heard you, shall we say, flick a worm and break it in half in an alley. Oh. So we heard you discussing whether or not. to go into the cellar door, et cetera. But that is a well-trapped gnome passageway. I would advise you to take the Kuatawa way down to the fallen under city that the tied gnomes built. Sounds good to me. Is that going to be a problem for us to breathe now?

Not with our assistance, it won't be. Otherwise, yes, I don't think that you would be able to get those. but there is an underwater tunnel a cave in the ocean that we would be able to escort you through not too close to the fissor that all the horrible chemicals are coming up out of but

in that same bay of course okay great very well so city hall it's of course right next to the mayor's home which you visited which exploded It is a fairly unassuming brick building, but as I said, it is old, sturdy.

It is an old spell, and I am unsure what it is that is keeping us from entering. However, I do know it's a simple building, and much like the building were just in where you got yourselves all fucked up, it has a basement. I should expect it would be in the basement where things are easily hidden and there are not meetings. I don't think it would be some sort of sculpture in a conference room. So, break into the basement of City Hall, dispose of whatever this artifact or magic conduit is, and we have ourselves a deal. Sounds exciting. Yeah, let's do it.

Now. All right. No problem for Spicoli. His spectacular cooler. Are you in need of any supplies? Again, this is, as I have related to you. a quest of personal value to me so I would be willing to make my own contributions

to the Thieves Guild on your behalf if I could be convinced should you need something from our stores say perhaps some healing items yeah potions something like that aren't you the king of thieves

what that's a weird way of putting it on the plank you understand the system my guess they're just being silly. Well, well, do you like some superior healing potions? That would be wonderful. All right.

Well, we have four in our storage. I don't know how to make them quickly, but yes, I can provide that, yes. Terrific. Very well. It would also... We'll rate it down this time.

You know, something that guarantees that we can breathe underwater now. I will provide such things once you are done. I understand we have loaned to search artifacts in the past Perhaps they no longer work Perhaps you no longer possess them

But when I say we I mean my people who live in soggy town I don't actually live there I don't know exactly what the deal was Not a lot of alleys in soggy town So sometimes things go down there I don't understand Yep, we'll go ahead and take care of that as soon as you Secure City Hall I think we'll work with you

Once you have a private conversation with Spicoli What? Our spiritual league Come into a small room with me, Spicoli. It is dimly lit. I will stand very close to you. I will stare directly in your eyes in a creepy way, and we will have a meeting. No.

Oh, okay. Well, in that case. Spicoli wants to talk to you for no less than 120 minutes. Very well, Spicoli. Come back. Endic, conversation, seal. Really very intense, intimate. Prepare yourself.

I prefer headmangers ball over 100. 20 minutes than any of the pain field so how about the cutting edge that was more of a cutting edge guy he leaves for a moment leaves you at the table comes back

for superior healing potions in a small pouch if you like to add them I'm not sure the die value but this is a standard d and d superior potion so I know he has them and he's buying them for you but I have to look up so that is

8d4 plus 8 hit points when you drink it. 8D4 plus 8. So that is a minimum of 16 hit points. Wow, those are huge. I don't think there's a higher level of that is the highest potion for sure. Nice. Great. We have four of them?

Yeah. I mean, they're behind it. I'm going to drink them all right now. Oh, God, please. 8D4 and what? 82 plus 8. maybe one more thing i should i should just go ahead and say uh there are rumors of something guarding this magic but again you're very capable of ventures it's not as as uh let's just say bottomless basement it's the one you were just in there's no creepy tunnel into hell

this is a stone basement underneath city hall but yes there's rumored to be a guardian of some sort so you may need these i will take care of the expense consider yourselves paid off with the thieves guild so to speak we are even uh you may of course ask for new favorites but off you go much appreciate you the boss i will be yeah i mean you're dry normally you're covered with a protective layer of mucus normally that's a very racist thing to say you're cool it's dry but yes sure i'm dry i am the plank who is on duty today. It is mere coincidence. I'm quite grateful I could speak to you. It's usually depends on the day, but that is who is here now. There are other planks on other days,

and I will soon be wielding more power in Delsmith, should you succeed. What's above the plank? Just not you, but like, what is the term for above the plank? There is no above the plank. but that's you you're about to become above the plank i am about to become so powerful in this town that they might not want me to continue to be the plank which is something of a socialist position well you or whoever you are you need to start regarding spicole philip and his pals as a thing Well, what is? He tried to sell you in the 2009, and you guys acted like ding-dongs and fuck.

I shall respect you and refer to you by your hero group name, which is, of course, the ding-dong danglers. The ding-dong danglers from your leader. Your leader tells me you are, it shall be written in granite upon the sky. The ding-dong danglers. I love that. Well, that was funnier than I thought it. All right.

Thank you. Good luck. Please come back when you're finished, and we can discuss the terms of your entrance to the undercity. It's been a unique pleasure. Oh. Al-Saint-I. He gets up and leaves.

Yes. You now know how to get to City, and it is approaching night. You are in an odd position. Greater restoration sure is handy, but I have to look up if it, I don't think it actually gives you hit points. Does that sound right? I just want to get my eye back. And you have it back.

Yeah, it's all healed. Okay, good. That's my full sheet. Say we should go rest up. bit. Well, why don't we go ahead and figure that out on our next episode

of nerding poker? Oh, shit, bro. Sam, what do you think happened today? Episode 34. Tudin is getting greater restoration capped upon him,

but Tudan has an issue with the guy casting the spell. Tudan is attempting to repair his issues with the spell guy, Philip. We're going to offer him 50 gold. Philip healed Mr. Peeper's eye,

and now he wants us to help us help the fish people enter city hall. We're getting four healing potions from him. Another episode down, we remain, the ding-dong danglers

now sam we've had to play a few sessions on zoom all of us this season and so we've lost a few opportunities to have you do a recap could you just really quick check in and tell us what you think the fuck is going on this campaign that is a good

question we are in the fog place the town that is called fog that's as far as I have who are we danglers what do we want peace justice now i don't know all right well thank you sam um i would love to run a d and d game

for you if you want to head over to dan telfer dot com you can watch me on twitch at twitch dot tv slash telfer dan i don't know who took twitch dot tv slash dan telfer in 2014 but they have an avatar that looks like me and i find it offensive let's get it taken down let's get me their username anyway i tried doing it a long time ago it didn't work so no worries there um that's all for me Brian, there is a limited edition stuffy available of my likeness in D&D form. Hi, Keith. Kiss the song. Kiss the song.

Hey, can you sing the national anthem while he drinks a glass of water? Sure. You can pre-order it, ASAP at U2s.com at spelt y-o-u-t-o-o-o-z.com. And, uh, but it's only available to like the August 20th. So order one now and, uh, get on, uh, the pre-order list and you'll get one of these adorable little guys. Brian, I heard all of them have souls. And if you don't order one, when they're, the order ends, their souls will die.

Yes. So you have to order one. That's true. And they're super fuckable, everybody. Whoa. Super duper fuckable. Any of them left in the world? warehouse unadopted will

come to life in the night and start murdering people. Yep. Everything they said is true. Brian. Fucker, they'll kill you. Get one at you twos.com and

Brian Passane.com for all my other merch and show dates and all that shit and touring and um, Comic cons that I will be at. I've got, I just said yes to a bunch of appearances. Like there's like seven or eight

uh, signings coming up. Oh, next year. Yeah. Blame. We attribute the success. Saved mankind for us for joining us on this episode. You got walls and a roof.

Well. On the next nerd poker, the nerd poker gang breaks for lunch at a place that serves breakfast any time and has a choice of super salad with half a sandwich. Will Sam get there before 4 p.m. so he has his choice of rice beel off or baked potato? All this, and Brian sits on his chives wrong. Our all new nerd poker. Thanks for listening to another episode of NerdPoker.

You can follow us at patreon.com slash nerdpoker, and you get bonus episodes from there, and you can also send us anything at P.O. Box 16069 in Sino, California, 91416. Thanks for listening. It's like we all went to the ice cream store instead of a standard show. I joke that I'm going to run out to come, but I think it's true. I'll dry it up.

You're getting close. The reserves. Yeah, I'll tap out, I'll run out. Like, my dick will go, ah. Sorry, boss. Somebody said that you'll know when he died because you'll hear your neighbors cheer. Yeah.

Yeah. Every city wins the Super Bowl at the same time all of a sudden.