Nerd Poker - The Fog Campaign - Episode 36

Episode Date: September 9, 2025

Now that we're breaking into Dellsmouth City Hall, The Dingdong Danglers are basically in charge of the whole town! Whoops... is this building full of corpses? ANOTHER building full of corpses? Man, what a ripoff. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Hey, it's Brian Posein. Nerd Poker. We're calling it. The Sod campaign. My friends are here. Chris, Blaine, Ken, engineer Sam, and of course our kick-ass DM, Dan Telford. Dan Telfer. Welcome to Nerd Poker.

Hey, everybody. It's Brian Passain. You're listening to NerdPoker. It's the 36th episode, episode 36 of the Fog campaign. Uh, we're in it. I'm loving Spicoli. I'm having so much. fun. Dan, I'll tell you where we're at in a little minute or so, but let me first say hi to my friends or welcome my friends. Chris, unfortunately, great when you're an actor, getting an acting gig. That is the ultimate goal. So there he's winning, but unfortunately that means that we don't have him today. He's shooting something in Vancouver and he'll come on and plug it when he gets back.

He's the new Grizzly Adams. We're doing a Zoom episode. So all my friends are on my big screen here. That was Blaine yelling at us a second ago. It was. It was. It was me. Hey, hi. Dan's here. Hi, everybody.

He's muted. Is he? He's slowly muted. He has a little symbol. It's all red. Hi, everybody. Oh, shit. Can you please be. mute yourself?

Sure, I'll go ahead and mute by myself. Now he's mooted. Oh, mooted. Ken's here. Hello. Hey, buddy. Running the show from the cool part of town. No sleeves today.

He doesn't get a fuck about sleeves, everybody. It's Sam, everybody. Hello, sweet children. His t-shirt actually says sleeves are bullshit. It does. You better keys leaving Those guns are loaded, look out Right on

Where's that dog? The dog is, by the way, I'm in Canada right now Oh shit Oh no! Yeah Why does it still look like you're back? Oh, I guess not. It's a hotel or something.

Yeah, yeah, I'm saying with my friend Steph. Oh, okay. Robin's at home being watched by my friends, Carmen and Camille. Oh, nice. Carmen and Camille. Can Carmen and Camille come out with? With Ramen, please. Can you get them on the Zoom?

Yeah, I wish. All right, it's the Carmen and Camille and Ramen show. And his plants are taken care of by Coheed and Cambria. That's right. Nice. They like Rush, but I still don't like them. That bad? Oh, they're great.

Hey, Brian, Brian. Are they? I gotta give them a chance. I've tried, but, yeah. I like that they're progressive and I like that they love Rush. That's cool. And I like that they write comic books. Now, they like Rush Limbaugh, and they're not progressive at all, Brian.

Oh, did you hear that? I'm sure I've said this story even. My mother-in-law, I was going on and on about Rush, and one day, and she goes, Rush Limbaugh. I go, no. It was about how much I love Rush. Everybody knows I love Rush. My wife knows I love Rush. My kid knows I love Rush so much.

which rush is my number. And she goes, Rush Limbaugh, and I was like, fuck, no. Yeah, he's a, the thing about Rush Limbaugh that not a lot of people know is he plays a bass synth with his feet. Inhale. With a three-knit, too, yeah. Yay.

He is a disinterred corpse playing it with his feet. Get him, guys. I think it sucks about him being dead as he can't die again. Uh-huh. Yeah. Wow, what to buy. Oh, hello. Oh, no.

I just got a restraining order. We have to take this episode offline. We got Kid Rock's attention with the Bush Limbaugh. We should thank some people. Yes, we should. And I'm going to go ahead and thank some listeners who support our show. Thank you, everybody. I mentioned this last episode for supporting us on Patreon.

However, make sure you subscribe through a web browser and do whatever you can to not get a weird fee from the iOS store. got an iPhone, and generally speaking, is these a web browser in general? You don't need no Patreon app. Patreon's not an app, it's a destination. Just go ahead and check us out at nerdpoker.com slash, or not you can talk about nerdpokerpod.com, but also

patreon.com slash nerd poker. Where we have supporters like and that's a dirty one. Thank you, and that's a dirty one. Thank you, Brian Lusier. Thank you, Edwin reaching climax.

it's my on birthday too why thank you you flail to the face a Mork Borg podcast Thank you Wayne Schlegel Michigan life and casualty Thanks Kevin Kruetsky Thanks Matt Clark

Thanks Matt Bright Thanks blood on the clock tower thanks Eric E thank you dead peasant Carl thanks Galileo Humpkin sure my favorite gnome thank you Jonathan Goswell

thank you 20-sided diabetes I got it thank you thank you and then there's Mawadib is it Mawadib Moadis Mwadib and then there's Mawadib starring B. Arthur with Adrian Barboa Ashani

thank you Hot Dong Thank you, Blaine's two fingers for all their hard work. The Spocker. You were way too ready with that one. Thank you, Hayden Austin. Thank you, Duane D. Bathtub. And finally, thank you, Bill Bo T. Baggin.

Blaine, who are those supporters brought to us by? You baggin. Supporting brought to us by a Quezonard Air Friar. For the best fried air, go to Queesanart Air Friar. And Chalula Body Wash. That's a spicy buttercrack Chalula body wash Dan

Thanks Blaine I'm tired so I'm not going to do the voice But you guys have left The Bed and Breakfast After telling the Kuatawa owner That the city guards might be pushing To send all the Kuatua back to Soggy Town And in the process

Then Try to move a little quickly To do your favor for Philip the Kuatown And head to City Tall. You case the place, the mayor's mansion next door has been busted open by, you know, explosions that you were there for. But you're now breaking in through a back window. You lifted the steel bars off, the one-first floor window, set them aside in the rubble of the mansion and the alley, unlocked the window, and are now parting the drapes, who is going to lead the crew inside?

somebody sneaky i'll do that okay i'm okay with that roll perception check as you peer through the drapes all right 13 although you aren't elf and you have dark vision you don't get a great to scan of the room you look around and notice that this is sort of a back office it looks looks like it's been in disuse and mostly everything has been put away. There is a desk with what looks like a dry ink pot and a quill pen laying next to it. All the paperwork looks like it's been put away in a dresser or something. There's a dresser in the room, but no paperwork is laying out,

and there's a thin layer of dust on everything. And you see a couple of doors. One to the right, one straight ahead. It's a short room that is rectangular. The door straight ahead is next to the desk. just a couple of feet in front of you and the door to the right is about eight feet to your right

the room is about like three by eight feet. It's very small. Dan, you said there's drapes? Yes. I'm going to scramble up the drapes and then jump from the drapes to the bookcase.

Great. You all witness a cat do that. Do you all have inside then? Yeah. Okay. So you head in, and the small desk that has the ink and pen on it, looks like it was designed for, you know, a gnome, most likely.

And the office does not look like it's had anyone inside it as a layer of dust kicks up, especially when the cat starts jumping all over everything. Sadly, there are no papers that can swat onto the floor. But you have these two doors to choose from. I will see the one straight ahead that is, on the longer wall but closer to the window it is leading to

basically the front of the building the one on the right is leading towards the mayor mansion side of the building which door do you think guys let's should we go for the

the one that leads out that we would think that goes to more doors we can always come back and check out like the side door later sure yeah let's go more door so straight ahead yes more door

all right the door is locked who's gonna pick it no then we're leaving oh well yeah we give up I will let's get that slide of hand check Brian 29 wow well

that's a decent roll yes the lock easily slides undone and you open the door to see what looks like a sort of storage room everything is put away again though there are two more doors both of which

look like sort of they go to the front area and then there is a door to the right kind of back the way you came that looks like it might go to a room similar to the one you just left I'll get out my notebook actually I forgot how handy this can be

and I'll draw a map of the building and where you've been so far. How's that, folks? Very nice. Blaine, can I get a map drawing commercial real quick, please? This map drawing brought to you by I can't believe it's not fruit loops. Perfect for people with fruit loop allergies

made with real peanuts. I can't believe it's not fruit loops. And oat stroglide, oat brand lubricant. from the makers of K.L. Y. Jelly and cauliflower butt plugs. Oatstreliglide. Oh, yeah. All right. Well, the mayor's mansion is all this messed up stuff. And the alley, like I said, is sort of filled with rubble coming from it. Hey, Fred.

What are you? Well, my name is Rubble and I'm here to say Also, hey Fred There's about two rubbles I love City Hall in a major way Okay They did kind of change the

Yeah, you kind of went from this guy To this guy To Norton Yeah Different I like the Dumber guy There's Guggenheimer to

Kearney Oh There was a great joke Where a friend Barney Or like I think Barney's interviewing for something And this guy behind a desk He's asking him questions

And he goes Married Barney looks up and Fred And goes no, no just friends All right So As you can see you guys have come in through the alley through this window you went in this longer room you

ignored this door for now and you're now in this larger room okay there's this mystery mystery room here and this big mystery area there hmm hey let's i'm going to go back in the the room and uh pick open that mystery door okay so you slide back to the room you came from uh go ahead and roll slight of hand check boss oh 19 plus 4 23 lock pops open easily do you open the door

I do okay you open the door and you see what it looks like Smile the dragon You see one of those little bars meant to have hangers put on it to hang jackets

It's a coat closet There is Can I also get a perception check from you, Blaine? Yes. 12 plus 10, 22. Okay. So you throw a hand up over your mouse as you realize there is a decaying corpse in this closet.

It looks like a member of the city guard still in their full armor is rotting away in here and maybe has been in here for a very long time, but the stink of death has been preserved in this closet for a very long time. Oh, no, my wedding tucks. A lot of his skin is shriveled away. He's sort of been mummified by the stale air in here, but is obviously going to stink despite the fact that it's dried out.

So you take a few steps back. You're not sure why a city guard has been stuffed in this coat closet, but there's not really a whole lot else that you can focus on even with that high roll just because you have to back up and your eyes are starting the water. All you can really get with that role is it's a city guard and armor.

Okay, I'm going to close the door and go out and, hey, there's a dead city garden there. It smells great. That it fuck happened. Yeah, it's like he's been in there for a while. So, yeah, let's just somebody in here killing guards.

This storage room that most everyone is in is mostly full of empty cabinets and desks, larger desks that people besides a gnome could sit at. I sort of drew the closet in there, but I'll try and fill the map out a little bit

with objects so you can continue to get an idea of what you're looking at. Okay, so let's just, let's stay on our, our D&D toes. All right, so there's some desks,

there's some chair, It's a little bit more of a... You can sort of see the room with a circle in it and the bottom row rooms is where the corpse is. I'm going to go over to the outside door to that room and see if it's... Just kind of like take a look at the lock, see if that door is locked or if it...

The door is locked. I mean, you had back out the window and you walk over. Again, the door to this room is half buried under rubble. So like I said, it would take a couple hours to sort of properly unbear it, but you can unburry it, but you can get to the doorknob and see that it is locked in addition to having a bunch of chunks of rock and burned wood leaning up against it. Was there a window in that room or was it just a closet? With the corpse?

Yeah, the corpse. It was a closet. It was a windowless closet. Okay. The closet was only about, like, four by four feet. Can I sort of like rig up a mask or something, a cloth over my face and go in there and see if I can take a closer look at the corpse and see how he died? Let's get a survival check.

Check the floor, too, see if there's a door. You're going to need to make the Constitution savings through after this, but if you can beat a 18 on a survival check, I'll give you, go ahead. 12 plus sex, 18. Great. So let's get advantage on a Constitution saving throw. I'll take the 18 plus 2.

Great. You managed to not gag as you make a very good mask to put over your face with just a spare bit of cloth you have in your bag. You know, the kind of thing that you would just use in a basic adventuring kit. And once you're inside, you're what, digging around specifically

to look at what the guy has on him? I don't want to, like, dig around. I've just sort of, like, taking a look at the corpse to see if there's, like, an arrow or stab wounds or if, like, you know, see if I can get a general idea of what happened. Got it. Investigation check, please. 6 plus 11, 17. Okay. You go through his pockets.

He looks like he has had nothing taken out of his pockets, and you kind of size up him in here, and it looks like he maybe died in the... the closet, like he was locked in here and starved to death. Oh, okay. He still has a basic badge. Oh, my goodness. Sorry, I blame

Entiment. Oh, God, sorry, you guys. I know. Was that a keyboard, or was that, like, a truck outside? I think it was a horn. Yeah, I'm behind a Monty Grave.

Got it. There's Herbie Hancock. The love bug. No, it's Axel F. His belt is... His belt still has full pouches. His belt still has full pouches. Okay.

He has a small sword hilted, and sheathed, I should say. And that's all you can figure out at the moment. I'm going to grab these pouches Why not Let's take his belt off and slide off This sword so it doesn't come with it necessarily And just put the belt in your bag

Yeah I'm going to bring it out into this other room Okay You take it to everybody else Yeah Hey dead guy pouches guys get around Ooh stink Everybody gather around and do an investigation check on the pouch Let's uh huh oh

I'm looking for two different numbers here. I don't want to touch it. I'm looking for a 15 and a 20. If you don't want to touch it, don't roll an investigation check. 12 plus 11? 23. Ooh. But that's not.

Yeah, Brian. Investigation check? Yeah, boss. All right. I don't want to touch it, but I want anything cool that might be in there. Oh, well, good luck with that part. Yeah. Louis shit.

You know what's a C.B. I can't. Yeah. A little peepers gets a seven. So you all do your best to like keep a distance from it. And Blaine, you back up. Although it looks like it is a full pouch that has multiple items, emphasis on multiple. Something in it is wiggling around. Oh. It's a worm.

It's warm, right? Mm-hmm. Oh, no. It's not one of those worms. smash it is it one of those worms you can't tell without opening the pouch hmm

it could be a worm it could be a tinkerbell is it a tinkerbell is it a tinkerbell is there a way to open it with a sword let's see it is a snap shut pouch you could put it on the ground

brace it with your foot with your boot yeah and like use your sword to pop open the top yeah this will be a slight hand-check I am way up against the wall yeah no shit let's get a slight hand-check

DC it's lower of 12 if you already have like a bonus of 11 it's an automatic success 11 plus 4. Oh, great. I mean, fast hands. Then you'll be able to place the belt on the ground,

leverage your tip of your sword underneath the flap of the pouch, and snap it open deftly, lift the pouch open a little bit with your sword and peer inside, and you see a familiar-looking worm with beady little eyes staring at you with a toothy grin. in. Okay. You're going to cut it in half.

Cool. Can you roll to attack, please? Yes. 17. You are very ready with that attack roll. Yeah, well, I had my sword. Practically, yeah, practically

happened as I was telling you, you're allowed to do an attack roll. You wanted that worm dead as fuck. Yeah. That is a hit. Roll your damage, please. Cats don't like worms.

I don't like worms. sometimes I love a worm place it on my pillow while I'm sleeping blame yeah for the worm fairy yeah the worm is dead you manage to cut it in half its eyes go dark

its mouth slides open a little bit there's a tiny little split noise as a little tiny bead of blood sprays across the inside of the pouch take that lowly his little feathered cap falls off I'm going to see if you've got the keys

to his apple car in here well it is a busy world so we're going to hope you have an apple car but right now no sign of keys inside the pouch you do feel like everything's got a bit of a layer

of um dead worm exploding being cut in half uh viscous fluid on it but yeah it looks like inside here is his badge the guard's badge uh some sort of slip of paper that's got some new stains on it um a charcoal pencil and it may be some coins in the back of the pouch but you'd have to sort of pick the pouch up and get a look at it. Is there anything on that slip of paper that, you know, like he was here for on a mission or an assignment or anything? So you bend over, reach into the pouch, take out the slip of paper and unfold it. There aren't notes in it.

It looks like he's taking notes on things that are happening while he's on watch at the City Hall when he was on duty. You do know that no one has been here inside in months. And so this means that he was on duty months ago and taking notes. You can tell from the date specifically that the last entry that has a number on it is from about seven and a half months ago. And after the last entry, there is some incoherent scribbling with the same charcoal pencil. incoherent scribbling can I get an insight check from Blaine

14 plus 10 24 it seems as though the guard was losing his sanity you think it is probable that somebody realized something fucked up was going on with the guard in that he was letting himself be possessed by this worm being about seven or so months ago, someone stuffed him in the closet, locked it, and left him to die.

Oh, horrible. And the worm stayed alive. The worm stayed alive for over seven months. Wow. Can I get... No, that's a really high insight check. I'll give it to you. You think this worm was more than capable

of living off the corpse and then sliding just under the lip of the pouch without having to unsnap it. And now he's dead. Good, okay. Again, I say boo. Okay, I think that's enough with the corpse and the worm. I don't think it is.

Here's the entire... Let's get a worm. Day by day eating the corpse. And then you find the worm's diary. The worm loved eating the corpse. Day one, of course. Day one. Yum!

So, yeah, this is again the map. You know, you can keep exploring. You do, you know, tell everybody, of course, you mentioned to them already that there is a corpse still in the room where you took this belt. So it's possible you could go back there. I can't find my pen. You can use the scissors.

But you, that's there. You still don't know what this room is over by the mirror. mansion and you don't know what this room is in the front of City Hall you are looking for a way into the cellar should we go into that big room just be on worm lookout I mean sure yeah

careful you head into the main room and you see what looks like a public space for City Hall there's a lot of waiting chairs there's desks there are tables where it looks like people can leave drinks there is what looks like used to be a water decanter that has dried out to serve guests water

as they wait to talk to somebody at City Hall there is a lectern and a few rows of chairs off to the side where people can listen to addresses and maybe ask questions of people in City Hall I'll kind of draw a little bit of this for you guys scribble it and let's get an investigation check from everybody please

that's a six investigated the shit out of it 21 10 plus 11 which is also in my passive investigation so I got lucky nice how about you Brian? What am I rolling? Sorry

It's going to be an investigation check. Absolutely. Here we go. Yeah, it is. Blaine. I find it. Here we go. 14.

All right. Well, Blaine should be able to cover this. You know, you kind of case the room. There is, this is where, see these like rows of circles, those are chairs, and this is the lectern where someone can be public speaking. These ovals with little circles next to them are waiting tables with chairs. There's one off to the side. There's like some broken brick from the explosion. There's like some burn wall here where the fire almost spread, the city hall.

There's a little desk by the front door. And there is a big splatter of blood in the middle of the room. There are no windows in this room, so it's very dark, but it does look like a couple of the chairs were knocked over. Mostly this place is just in non-use, but it looks like maybe this place was locked up after there was an incident. There are no other bodies. And there's a, the blood is dried, I'm assuming? Yes. It looks like it could be about as old as the body that you found.

Okay. And the doors are locked? Just one front door with a reception desk next to it that is locked. Okay. Well, there is another door. You can see off sort of to the bottom corner there. So you came in, I'm trying to like get my, I don't usually have my camera on during Zoom, and I'm like doing a preview of my window so I can see what I'm pointing at.

But you came in into the big room from this door. Right, but there's still this door over here that you know goes back in the room you just came from. There's two entrances. Yeah, it's a long room. So there's really only one unexplored room, and it is this little guy off in the corner here. You do not see any way into the cellar from the main room. So if there is an entryway on the first floor, it's either hidden, or, you know, It's in that room off in the corner near where you came from, kind of in the back.

Let's go back into the corpse room and check it out. Okay. The corpse room doesn't lead to it. The corpse room leads to a closet, and the closet is up against the unexplored room. But if you go back into the storage room, yeah, you can go in and try the door, which is locked. So if someone would like to try and unlock the door to the unexplored room, let's get a slide of hand check, please. I'll do it. Oh, natural 20, please.

Plus four. Yeah, for funsies, we got to hear that bonus. So plus four means, yeah, effortlessly, you open the door. The back door is not only locked, it is barred. You now see that the back door has, you know, little metal supporting bars, holding a big wooden bar across the door. So you couldn't be smashed in easily either, even if you're, where to pull the rubble away.

This would have been a classic pain-in-the-ass Dungeons and Dragon's door if you had spent a lot of time on it. But you do see opt-the-side steps down, a stairwell. So although that door is barred, you do see in the very corner of the building, there is a stairwell leading down. Nice. There's also just very basic supplies here, like maintenance stuff. There's a broom.

There's a mop. There's rags. There's a bucket. Well, let's start cleaning. Montage. Within only a few minutes, you guys have transformed this into the Ding Dong Danglars HQ. Your receptionist, a pretty teafling named Denise, winks at Shalab through her cat eye glasses and says, Hey, boys, welcome to Ding Dong Danglas HQ.

Wow, how did we get any pot? I was going to say, played by any pot. We got one, she says the next time you find a worm. What a bunch of idiots. Yeah, well, it's a... We are. We are. We really are. I know. So stairwell is dark. It leads into a space right below where you're standing.

Do you head inside? What is going to be thine marching order? Are you guys going to have us when take the lead, et cetera? I mean, I have advantage in dim light with my helmet. Dost not wish to go first? Sure. I ain't a scare. So first we got Shalab.

Kind of. I mean, kind of a scare. I'll go. I'm terrified. I'm actually terrified. Okay. So first we have Shalab and then we have Siam. Brian, do you want to go before or after

Twiddun? I'll go on every How about Brian brings up me? How about Brian bring up the rear? Okay. As usual, Brian is going to bring up the rear if you catch my drift. I don't know what that means, actually. Don't mention the rear.

But I think the right way, like, To describe it is he carries the rear. So, Brian carries the rear, J-K-L-O-L. Back there with you is going to be Little Peepers, and I am going to request everyone head to Roll 20, so you can get a little bit of a sense of what we're looking at. Oh, that thing.

Yeah, okay. And for a second, I do have to adjust the lighting a little bit in the next room, so you won't see it right away. I do need to fix this map a little bit without giving too much away. But here. is the cellar out the cellar door and baby

talk dirty to me all right okay I've got little peepers in the back with Bri Bribe I was trying to make Roll 20 happen okay well you know what

I believe in you I believe in you do you know what's really disturbing is really disturbing, Kent, is you had to lean towards your computer to do that. Yeah. And so I just saw the eyeballs of Walrus man on your t-shirt right in my face.

Baba! What does Baba mean? Ponda Baba? Panda Bobba. Yeah. Evizant Buddy. And you are, of course. You've seen the Star Wars, yes. Huh?

I've only seen. Rogue 1. I only know that version. Okay. But he is in it. You got to see Rogue 2. Rogue 2 is really good. For the listeners and those who may still be loading, Roll 20,

the seller's steps lead down in. You see some crates ahead of you. It is pitch black. There is a dirt floor. How shall you proceed? Crate dragons? yes i'm only going to say star wars things

there are multiple crate dragons in the cellar basement of a small city hall building all right i'm stealthifying for you fuck you can say stealthing around but are you you're in the lead so are you going to kind of like go down and try to get a scope of the whole room yeah stop let's get that stealth check boss with advantage It is There's a 19

My stealth Okay You get to the base Over here feeling Quite stealthy But not miraculously stealthy Like you guys sometimes get with your 30 plus rolls

And you get a sense That the room I think so. Let's see. I think, well, I have advantage to stealth in dim light. I don't know if that gives me dark vision. I sure don't. Dark vision is usually a species-specific thing, so.

I'm looking. I'm looking. Them teaflings are from hell. I don't know what they got. Yeah. What are they got in hell? Gerconic resilience. It sounds like a big old no.

It should say with the, like, how far you can, like. Dark vision. Yes, dark vision. Great. So I am going to give you sort of the full breadth. You can see there are bedcots, bed rolls have been laid out. So up to three people could sleep down here. Right now no one is occupying them.

There are some barrels, likely containing water, possibly something else. Crates, and the rest of the room is pretty empty. crates in barrels. Can I get some stuff for a wedding? I'm on a wedding list. But as you can see sort of to the west, there is a pitch black corner around which there may be another room or doorway. You're not sure. Yeah, I'm going to look around here. Okay. You do get a better eye line on a crate that has the lid pried off of it. Uh-oh.

Okay, I'll look in the crate. All right. Investigation check, please. Alien. Facehugger. Okay. That is a 11 investigation. It's empty. And although there are, there's like a strange, texture to the wood inside, you don't really notice anything else of note.

Okay. I keep looking around. If you move to the north of the room, you can peer around that pitch-black corner. Sure. You see there are a small set of stairs leading down deeper. Oh, there's more down to go, guys. Is there, are there any, is there a table with three bowls of porridge? Oh, no, but you know, there is a shivering pig warning you that this house is made of straw.

Oh, no, no, shivering pig. Oh, a shivering pig open for Mr. Bungle. It's my favorite breakfast place in the San Francisco. Shivering pig. Can't get in there on Saturdays. No, it's fucking zoo. Should I take your world 20 choice? Choice as a literal thing.

Are you rounding the corner there? Yes, I'm advancing. You see yet another stairwell going down farther. What the hell? So many stairs. I thought we're playing doors and dragons. No, we're playing stairs and dragons, you ding-dong dangling dangler. I'm dingling-donging on the way my down.

Thank you for finally giving me like a very appropriate reason for calling you individually ding-dong danglers. I'm the ding-dong dangler. ding-d-d-d-dung-dung you see what appears to be a dead end the stairs was a race car driver so you you see what looks like a dead end what? Dead end. Ding-dong dangler was a big brown beaver on the block. I'm just playing a bass right now.

You can tell. To many puppies. It ends in a dead. many Campari's. A stone dead end. How is there a dead end? What the fuck? What a weird basement this is.

Would you like to investigate? Yeah, I sure would. Investigation check, please. Doing it. 19. I was role 19. You pat down the cobblestone walls. You don't find any hidden switches or anything,

but there is something really strange about this dead end. Yeah. Feels deliberate. It's existence. None of the walls are false. or have an obvious hidden entrance. Hidden switches get ditches. Right.

Can I try to wedge out a stone on the wall in front of me? Sure. Can I get an athletics check, please? Better an upfront of the bottom. I'm assuming. I'm assuming you're using just like basic beef tool stuff unless you tell me you have like an adventurous kit or like a specific. I mean, no.

Rock pick, but it doesn't sound like you do. Well, I'm sure I got it open. I rolled it too. Using your delicate tools, you nearly botch and break your thieves tools trying to crack this rock off of the wall. The rest of you here are some little tinky noises. I need somebody better with tools. Okay.

Toolies. Where are my toolies at? This is not as simple as using a thieves though this is an athletics check I'll say so if these tools are not ideal you guys will want something closer to a heavy tool if you're going to pick through rock

but that is just one possible approach I did not I did not suggest picking at the rocks that was a Ken idea so if you have any other solutions to these solid rock walls you're welcome to present them Blaine you were going to say something I was going to say I'm up in this room can I start

like looking around in these in these cases and so I'm going to throw up a detect magic. All right. No magic aura is here. You do think you detect that there's maybe very trace elements of magic. How far does detect magic reach? I think it's 30 feet, isn't it?

Yeah, you don't detect anything. But let's get an investigation check for looking through the crates. You want to look through all the crates. 21 You examine the crates Many of which are slightly pried open But only one has the lid completely taken off The one with the lid taken off completely

Is the one that Shalab was just sort of looking in Once you peer more closely than Shalab was able to You think you see dried slime Very similar to the slime Excreted by the worm that you just cut in half And you think that maybe these crates were full of worm They're all current All currently

Ficti So have gross So worms Is hard you're out of here somewhere No visible worms at the moment But yeah And at this point Twiddin and little peepers are going to go down the stairs

Are you going down Spicoli? Yeah So you've all kind of like heard this From Siam a Salyam digs around And Now you have Shalab coming up the stairs telling you there's like a stone wall with no obvious way through at the bottom of the stairs. What if they would put people down at the bottom of the stairs and throw worms on them?

It'd be gross. Would everyone like to do an insight check? Yes. Yeah, sure. Oh, 20 plus 10, 30. 23. I mean, Brian's not going to be your 30, but out of politeness, I would sure like to hear what he got. I'm better at insight. Yeah, I'm not beating the 30. Blaine, you do think that there was some sort of ritual being performed down here. Those three beds are creepy, and it does look like there has been a lot of traffic up and down these stairs to brick, like, not quite room at the bottom of the stairs.

It's more just like a flat wall. You're not sure that they were being forced to take the worms right in that little space at the bottom of the stairs, but it does feel like something like that could have been happening down. here. Okay. All right. Hey, Ken, why don't you get out of there before you get wormed? Scooching out. You are looking for an artifact that the Kua Toa Philip would like you to destroy, but you have not seen anything on this half of the cellar, which you've explored about half of it so far. Uh, I'm going to throw up a detect magic. Okay. Where are you throwing a up from, that right where your token is now?

Yeah. You get several oras on the other side of the wall to the west, but nothing back where you came from. Wall to the west, guys. Should we

try to get through there somehow? Yeah. Hey, Dan, I'm going to down past you. barrels what's what's on this side of the blackness on the to the west of the blackness here right now I'm gonna take a sec to make sure that I've opened that up visually as much as I should there might be a little too much hidden and I'm gonna try and undo that possibility for y'all it's just a flat brick wall

I think maybe you can see it a little better now well too so there's no obvious way through it, no switches, no sconces. Okay. I'm stricken by the west wall. Dust mold. I mean, I'll roll your last investigation check into it. You don't see any obvious way through this particular brick wall of the west. You do start to pat up by the more northern wall again.

It does feel like so many people have been down here. There's something going on at the bottom of the stairs. but you haven't unpacked what it can be yet, and it's not an obvious physical thing you can get from just padding the rocks down. Yeah, if I knock, does it seem hollow? Like I can knock along the wall and see if anything seems hollow.

It feels like solid stone. Hang a painting. I'm trying to find a stick. Oh, okay. Yeah, no studs, unfortunately. Just solid stone. Pretty hard to get a nail in here unless you wedge it between rocks.

Your poster of Jack Nicholson bursting through the bathroom wall with an axe that says, at the bottom, here's Johnny, is probably not going to work well down here. remember that reference that doesn't carry as well since Carson's been off for fucking hell

okay well what do you guys think I'm not very good at getting through things apparently yeah I don't know the slime was on the north wall you said there is no slime on the wall just in there's dried slime in the crates

oh in the crates okay no mind what's the can we do a search of the beds absolutely let's get an investigation check from everybody and you can turn over those beds I got a

one plus a level plus a So 12 It's really nice to pretend the plus 11 matters to your dungeon master after you've botched It really feels good to pretend

I should take in the 21 Oh How about you other two nerds I love six What did be Investigation Yeah I got a 22

Cha cha cha Uh huh Wah wah Wah well we were um you don't really find much it does again look pretty dusty down here like maybe nobody's been here in a long time but you do find under each mattress a small stone a small gray stone of about the same size that would fit in your palm hmm that's some kind of a spell-making thing I'm guessing the people who slept here the beds are unmade they look

slept in? They look hastily left unmade. But they don't look like they have been turned over until you search them. Right. Okay. I think we're going to try to bust through a wall down here. That's what I think. Yeah.

That's my opinion. What do we have? Busty was. Well, one thing's for sure. We know that Bustin makes you feel. good here at ding-dong dangar HQ. Always. We'll have to come up with an

we'll have to come up with a solution for getting through the wall on the next episode of nerdingpokes.com. Oh shit. Oh, cool. Okay. Well, I'll tell you what I'm up to. Yes, thank you. You know what? You're welcome, everyone. But, yeah, if you

want to hire me as your dungeon master, I mean, I'm running a game for people tonight. I'm running two games next week and I run a lot of one-off, one-shot games over the weekend. So if you'd like to hire me, you can have to Dan Telford.com and check out my bona fides. I mean, honestly, send that to the people who don't know who I am to show why you want to hire me and have a D&D game with your friends or family. I would love to run a game for you, Brian. Cool.

You already do, but anyway, thanks. for me I've got a couple tour dates at the end of the year here, Brianpussain.com on new show starting very soon I start acting again

on Stewart Fails to Save the Universe on HBO Max and I'm fucking crazy and crazy excited about it that it's official and like I'm sitting in the prop master by glasses prescription for Burke

To wear glasses on TV. So that's what's going on here at the house. I'm very excited. Tour dates, whatever's left. I got Beverly Mass coming up. I've got North Carolina, Dead Crow, Brian Passain.com for tour dates. I've got some Galaxy cons on the calendar coming up.

Hopefully I'll be able to do. I'll probably be in Raleigh in the fall. also come out to GalaxyCon and get some signatures. Looking forward to that. I've been doing a few cons. I just did TerrificCon and it was fucking, it was terrific.

It was so fun. He! No, just sitting around and meeting people for three days is a totally different thing than doing stand-up in a city, you know? Yeah. And I love just meeting fans and nerds and some of the people,

to come in and know like every fucking voice i've ever done and it's been a fucking blast it's super fun um anyways oh and then i've got that uh that little stuffy uh or fluffy plush plushy bryan pussam u2s dot com go there y-o-u-t-o-o-z right now and uh pre-order a plushy and i'm gonna buy some Clushy. Maybe we're going to, we're maybe going to give them away to Patreon people. Oh, that'd be great. Continue to contribute on Patreon and you probably be able to score a plushy or at least be on a list to score a plush. Yeah, we got to announce new winners of our drawings, too, on the podcast. We'll get to that soon, folks.

Cool. But I did think of one more plug. One more plug. I haven't plugged my stand-up in like a year. on the show, but I will be doing a show right before my birthday on September 12th in L.A. This show is called Mint on Card. It's at Blast from a Past, 7 p.m. on September 12th. It's a toy store, comic book store, where they give away a bunch of nerd stuff during the show.

That's in the Valley, right? Yeah, it's in Burbank. It's in Burbank. Oh, okay, cool. Blast from the past. So if you guys are in town on September 12th at 7 p.m., I've done the show a bunch of times, but because it's right before my birthday, I mentioned telling people. there yeah we'll give some shit away and have some fun cool cool uh i've also got uh i haven't done patten oswald and friends in quite a while but i've got that coming up in september at

largo so go on the lago website or i was supposed to do that once uh yeah i'm supposed to do it in august but then i'm going to be at cape and cal that weekend so uh it got pushed to september uh that's it for me blaine i was supposed to do it when the pandemic started Lane We attribute the success Saved Man Colleen for the day As for joining us on this episode

You got walls in a roof Well On the next Nerd Poker The Nerd Poker gang Freaky Tuesdays with a shampoo bottle Putting sodium

Laurith sulfate and desolucoside in danger Can Coca-Metopropyl Bupitine Get They're in time. All this, and Brian, lathers, rinses, sits on his balls wrong and repeats,

a all-natural nerd poker. Thanks for listening to another episode of Nerd Poker. You can follow us at patreon.com slash nerd poker, and you get bonus episodes from there. And you can also send us anything at P.O. Box 1-6. 6069, Encino, California, 911416. Thanks for listening.