Nerd Poker - The Fog Campaign - Episode 43

Episode Date: October 28, 2025

Now that we've burned a bunch of people alive no questions asked, let's loot their corpses! Wait... hey how come their corpses are gripping their loot, we burned it off of them fair and square! For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Our friends at HeroForge have come out with 3D custom dice. They use the same process as HeroForge's color printed minis. You can choose the dice number, color, the dice shape, and size, even extra large ones. Visit HeroForge.com to start designing your custom miniature and dice today. And check back often. New content is added every week. Thanks, Heroforge. Hey, it's Brian Possein.

Nerd Poker. We're calling it. My friends are here. Chris, Blaine, Ken, engineer Sam, and of course, our kickout. D.M. Dan Telfer. Welcome to Nerd Poker. Hey, everybody. It's Brian Passain. And you're listening to Nerd Poker.

What? It's episode 43 of the Fog campaign. My friends are here. I see Dan in the left. Oh, no, he's not. I'm just muted high. Whoops. Moodie. You're muted and high? Yes, that is I wish To tell you that he loves your but as Dan is rather moot Maybe I'm also frozen but I can see you guys fine

Ken's here Frozen's here Chris is here Hello Hey buddy You're actually back You're back home right Yes

In the stakes as it works Nice why would you do that when will the thing that you shot be able when will I don't know probably next year they're just finishing airing

the first season of the series so oh so this is the movie but is it going to is it streaming or is it going to be released I assume yeah I assume it's going to be streaming on Paramount Plus but you know how it is they say oh sometime in 2026

yeah the thing I'm working on no one knows when it's coming out but you know I heard it might be just for Google Glass it might only be yours no yours only on Bondi IMac running the show as always

from the cool part of town he put a second shirt on look at him it's Sam everybody hello sweet children hi with the Cap, it looks like Phil Mickelson. They put the guns away.

I know. We can't see his nip when he raised his arm in you more. Whoops. Jesus. Don't objectify the poor guy. Sam, do you want me to objectify you? Let's see the Toto's. The way he said no sounded like something else.

He's an awful. You mean Joe? We'll be right back. but let's thank some listeners. Where did he come from? Where did he go? Where do you come from, God and I, Joe?

Should I thank some people? To share a while. There you go. It took me a while. Folks, I like your people as well. And by your people, I mean Brian's people, and by Brian's people, I mean all our people, by which I mean our supporters on Patreon.

And if you listen at all, we love you. If you support us on Patreon and you keep the show going. And if you're at our top two tiers, we love you so much. We shout you out. You have usernames like, in your butt. Put the boogie in your butt. Yeah. Thanks, IYB, P, T, B, IYB.

Thanks, Jonathan. Thanks, Jonathan. Thank you, Commander Salamander. Thanks, Jeremy Rossman. Thank you, Zerk, Bowdark. Thank you, Sam Gibson. Thank you. I will raise you two toilet frogs. Thank you, worm drive show on YouTube.

Choose your own adventure. Thank you, Corpus Callasum. Thank you, James Amarando. Thank you, the fake Vince. Thank you, Brian's Austin Powers impression, a.k.a. TikTok's downstairs mix-up. Thank you, the wizard somnambulance. And finally, thank you, Figure 4 Lichlock.

Blaine, who are those supporters brought to us by? Supporters brought to us by standing up too fast. For the makers of... Whoa. Oh, guys. For the makers of head rush. Standing up too fast. What are you...

When you got to sit right back down. Oh, dad? Thank you, Blaine. Listeners, Blaine not only acted that out, but his face got visibly more red when he sat back down. Oh, sorry, you got a little head rush. It's now time to talk about, what happened last time I bought that ever.

Last time on nerd poker, our heroes went and burned down the barracks full of insurrectiony guards people. Well, they did it. They found that there was probably some loot in there after talking to fill up the plank. And things cooled down. They watched it burn. They heard the screams. And when they kicked the door in and started sifting through the ashes very carefully,

a couple of skeletal nights burst out of the ashes. Everyone's slowly backing away from the building. Well, slowly, not exactly, quickly, but carefully backing away. Right now, the only person who is in range, is the surrounded Siam Spade who tried to tiptoe in there and fell flat on his face. You heard noises coming from inside

farther in the building in the shadows. And you heard Philip the plank, the Kuatowa sort of orchestrating this thing, say that maybe we should nuke the place. That is what they are doing on their turn. They're discussing what to do next. I'm implying that they may somewhere in this turn do something drastic, but they're not currently

in the combat order. Blaine, you are at the top of the combat order. You are surrounded and you have heard the Kuatoha's shouting these things to each other so you know something might be about to nuke the building. Okay.

I'm going to Misty Step. I'm going to, no, where's is that 30 feet? How big are these? squares five feet uh okay use a little rectangle if you want if you go 30 feet it's like about this far i i increased the area made it a slightly more palatable cobblestone while we were

recording between bricks nice okay uh right there where where you were just there i could move down down there just sort of i would just want to get that arrangement so you bansh BAMF. Your token did appear to disappear. Am I crazy, or is Blaine's token gone? Gone. Did you put it off the map, or what happened there? Is it under the stone?

I think it went, yeah, it went under something there. Sorry. Maybe a Kuatou? I see his, uh, wiggles. Is it what? Was it under Ken or Brian possible? yeah I'm scooting every there he goes okay yeah you put it under Brian's token

you're a silly goose I'm gonna put you there just because visually it's uh yeah there you go okay cool anything else for your turn you can't see through that crack you can't see one of the skeletal nights okay I'm

but you've used her action to Misty step correct you don't have like a bonus section I'm just gonna start looking my butt hole okay so you guys I'll see the way when a cat fucks up they immediately start licking their buttholes

Sion pops out on the cobblestone spreads his legs and gets to work up next it's gonna be a little peeper that's going to when I feel cornered you know

Lord Corrette has a great joke he goes I found out why cats lick themselves they're delicious Blaine just you know Misty Stip is actually a bonus action So let's back it up and use that action. I thought that was for sure.

I'm just looking at the spell itself. Oh, it's cool. Second level conjuration is what I'm looking at. Misty step. Okay. Oh, so it is one bonus action. Well, hey, you know what? Then I'm going to firebolt.

I'm going to firebolt one of these guys. Great. Yeah, you can see this guy right here who's been the subject of everyone's attack so far. Okay, well. Firebolt to all these motherfuckers. Okay. so 18 that's a hit 12 plus 6 so 2d 10 where am i 2d 10s what what that's a 11 but 11 points little tiny man in your butt oh smash us into him he is starting get

down a fair amount of hit points, but still has more than half his hit points. Little Peepers is going to back way the fuck up, 25 feet and loose. Let's see, how many arrows can he fire? It's like just the one. It's going to be a miss. Uh, these skeletal knights are now going to rush out. Oh boy. This guy's going to chase you down, Blaine.

Great. Damn. But he's doing kind of a blind charge, and he's going to run right past Ken. So Ken, can you do an opportunity attack for us, if you like? I would love to. I'll shoot a firebolt at him. How does that sound?

Sounds good. That's a... 16 to hit to miss fucking hell yeah wait do you have to do for an opportunity

attack I think it has to be a melee non-spell attack I'll let you redo it so it has to be a melee attack uh

opportunity attack have I think it'll let's be a warcaster I think that is how this yes is that right I think if you a warcaster then you can use a spell

opportunity attack must be a melee spell attack or a melee weapon attack. I am going to... What did it have for me in here? Oh, I'll use the sword cane on him. Veteran cane it.

Yeah. Thwick, it's now a sword. And then then we're all to attack? Mm-hmm. All right. That's a bunch. Cool, roll a D-100, please.

Oh, man. Why did I cross my fingers? Yeah. All right. That is a... We have fun here. Holy fucking shit. Oh, no.

It's a... What was it? 97 all right now brian traditionally is that good or bad when you botch

and then roll a 97 on your percentile I think that's like almost the worst he's looking at dick talks that's my new character by the way

it's like he's shopping for something and doing that thing where you can see what it looks like I'm going to do a lucky roll Oh, that's, that's great. Holy shit. Because I was about to tell you what a 97 looks like on the botch table. Yeah, it doesn't look like that.

Do I get to roll my attack or the 100? You roll your attack again. Well, wait, hold on. Yeah. That's a great question. I think I need to look at the rules for lucky because botches are a house rule, not a standard rule. Um, um, um, um, where is it? Yep, it's an attack roll, ability check or saving throw. Um, I think because of the amount of time it took,

I'm going to have to make you make it the botch re-roll. Sounds good. Oh, the original role. Okay. No, the D-100 roll, which is, no. longer going to be a 97. Got it. D-100 roll. Yes, but because it took a whole D-100 roll and then some conversation to get to the use of luck

point, I'm saying, here we go. 25. Oh, it's much better. If you had rolled a 97, my botched table says, failure costs an organ. 8D12 plus 10 damage. How about that one? It seemed bad. Okay, you're going to take one point of damage.

as you take out the veteran cane and it flicks a chunk of cobblestone gravel into your eye. I'm not a fan of this weapon so far. This could have been a lot worse. Now charging Blaine. It looks like two hits

for 28 points of necrotic damage, Blaine. Okay, can I do Can I do another uncanny dodge? I believe so. Okay, that'll have it. You can have either the 17 or the 11. I assume you want to have the 17.

Yes. So that will be eight points of necriotic damage plus 11, 19 total points of necrotic damage. Okay. How are you doing on hit points? Not good. What does that look like? Let's just say I wouldn't want to get hit again. Cool, cool.

The other skeletal night takes about 10 feet to move to this opening and look for someone to attack and sees Ken. He is going to rush at Ken and start swinging his blade. I know. But I want. Get him, Ken. Well, that first one's going to be a crit. great and then what does your AC can you know what though Dan as my reaction let me hear as AC also

16 thank you sure yes uh I'm gonna use uh I'm gonna use my reaction to cast silvery barbs hell yeah you are as a reaction I magically distract a triggering creature and turn its momentary uncertainty into encouragement the triggering creature must re-roll the D20 and and use the lower roll. So I would like it to re-roll the crit. You sure would. It's going to miss now. Cool.

And then I just swings blindly. Who's next? Ken's next in the turn order. So I will then give him the, the silvery barbs are swirling around the skeleton that's attacking Ken, but it's also going to give him advantage on his next role. Sweet.

Well, it'll give him advantage, but first can I give him, get a perception check from you for her. What kind of check, Dan? Perception. Yes. Crip, 23. Nice.

25. Nice. Brian, Blaine. What's the rule? Sorry. Would you like to participate? Oh, perception check. Oh, perception check.

Oh, perception check. Sorry. Uh, 25. 19. Okay. All of you will see, there are more skeletal beings, uh, emerging from deeper within. It looks like for those of you who beat the 20, four are visible, which leads you to believe there might be more than four headed your way. Ken, you are now officially up.

Okay, let me look at the map here. I will... As a reminder, the Kuwaitoa are discussing nuking the building. Right. And you are right in front of it. So I'm going to get away from the building. You can also, everybody, interact with the Kuatua verbally,

should you choose to. Do I need to disengage from this guy next to me? Do you want to get away from him? I will disengage. Oh, if I have not been damaged, can I still use hellish rebuk? I think that's a reaction you have to use as you get hit, isn't it? I guess, but then I didn't get hit because of it because of Chris's spell. Correct, you did not get missed.

Yeah, you're missed. Okay. Disengage move away. Got it. And is that going to be here? turn you're not gonna uh if i can i mean i'll cast a let me cast well disengage is is a full action yeah correct that's what i figure okay i just didn't know if you had a bonus action no no bonus here okey-dokey brian you are up uh who's right in front of me is there somebody i can

there's a scalable night about five feet away from you and again the kuoto are talking about nuking the building and you are on the doorstep. Oh, shit. So what are we doing? Everyone else has been falling back away from the building. And you can also yell something at the Kuwaito if you really want to. I'm just trying to remind you all, you have that as an option. I'll fall back.

There's still a skeleton attacking Blaine. Oh, where's that? True. Yeah. Down below. Below you. Okay. Can I get to him quickly?

Yeah. You're in range. Okay. you're 10 feet away okay I'm going to short sort him okay I will move your token next to him if you fall on the other side you could be flanking I will put him on the other side

yeah do that as Brian is unaware I think he's not on roll 20 no Very much a hit There you go Excuse me Bler damage, please

Mm-hmm Sorry Bless you Good thundite Farfugin Fugin Hmm Totally

Sivity Shit Uh, six All right So you chop them for six points And he also gets sneak attack on that, I think, right? Because he's flanking. That's absolutely correct.

He has advantage. So you get to roll your sneak attack damage, which I think is a D6. What level are you, Brian? Your level 10. Yeah. Your sneak attack is 5D6. Holy balls. Roll 5D6, boss.

Nice. it goes oh shit oh shit five B six no I feel like damn it how do you make it go down

you're your voter no I got the thing I was Making it so it, uh, it did five in a row and now, now it says six and seven and now it's eight. Let me just roll. Hold on. And then I'll re-roll it. Are you fucking kidding me? Are you on the advanced roller?

Yeah. I think he's in DMD beyond. I know what I did. Yeah. Yeah, you did one D6 plus four. I'll roll again. That was also silly. What was it, 5D6? There's a lot more of that. Okay. Well, no, but 5D6 is that's a sneak attack that he's going to roll, right?

Yes. I'm almost there. Blaine? What is this brought to you by me doing my? Oh, well, you know, I just wanted to tell you guys, I forgot to mention this earlier, but my, you know, my friend was just no good at rhyming. Oh. He tried, but he didn't have it.

But one day he woke up inspired and fell in a bowl of raisin bran. Be nice and clean. Eat raisin brand and you always will rhyme. That poor guy. Wow. It's been a while since I had that of Raisin Brand. God, it's jingles, pretty good.

Speaking of jingles, there we go. Hey, 18. Thank you, Brian. Nice. There it took forever. Yeah, so it chops the shit out of this guy. He is looking rough. Rough until it. All right.

He gets no respect. so that's my D&D Rodney Dangerfield joke he gets no respect so any do to do Brian then Chris yes it's you great I will shout nuke it nuke it nuke it as I fall back here

next to Siam out of reach of the skeleton And I'm going to cast, at fourth level, I am going to cast Healing Word. So Siam gets back. 13 hit points. Terrible rules. Sorry, Blaine.

A couple of ones in there. 13 hit points. It doubles me. All right, I'll take it. Thank you, thank you. Of course, of course. And I'm trying to make eye contact with the Josin's

soggy eyes and just be like, do it. Great. Josin soggyz. Soggyz. The plank backs way the fuck up himself, looks over at the sorcerer who

nods and he casts meteor swarm on the barracks. So that is going to be 20 DC. fire damage followed by 20 D6 bludgeoning damage and this is of note because the roof has burned down so this will hit any exposed people it is for a 40 foot radius sphere

so it'll be right on top of the building damn so 61 points of fire followed by 62 points of bludgeoning for a total of 123 points of damage on anyone who is exposed. I got to get my pants on. Ken? No, I do not have my pants up.

Yeah, no. That's what I'm saying. Oh, shit, I'm exposed. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Wamp, ma-ma, ma-ma. That is enough for this guy right here to be a part of an explosion. that just utterly disintegrates him.

The other visible knights are also going to be utterly disintegrated. The one that is between Brian and Blaine, though, is still swinging. They could not fire the spell off without killing Brian, as he just was close enough to get flanking, which meant that couldn't quite hit the spell. but doesn't necessarily mean things are in bad shape. I'm just checking. I just want to make sure we have this guy in the turn order at 18

since I accidentally deleted, of course, the token that was in the turn order, and we're back up to the top with blame. I'm going to fire bolt the skeleton right next to me. Do it. 17 plus 6. that is a hit 237

2D10 uh that's 10 uh that's 10 max into him he's a close range you haven't flying to put it's canceled out out by the close range does he get the sneak attack

as well um because Brian's in mail another creature That's a good question D&E. Once a turn, I can deal an extra 5D6 to one creature

with a advantage on... Oh, you know what? Spells don't qualify for sneak attacks, unfortunately. Yeah. I would have used my sword I didn't like. Sneak attack requires finesse or a ranged weapon,

but not a spell. No spell. All right, that's a drag. That always reminds me of when you wear the Hammer Brothers suit and Super Mario Bros. 3 and you save one of the kings, and he comes back and he says, hey, can I borrow that suit?

No dice? What a drag. All right. Cool, cool. Little Peepers is up. He is going to run over and start stabbing. Creature, it may not be directly flanked by Little Peepers, but he is flanked, so he still gets advantage.

And that means for Little Peepers. You guessed it's sneak attack damage. Whoa. 29 hit. And that is going to be. piercing damage followed by 23 points of sneak attack damage for a total of 32 points. Hmm. Piercing damage.

How would Mr. Peepers like to see that skeleton die? In all kinds of ways that he won't. Except that, here comes his offhand attack. He brandishes his dagger. me a miss unfortunately and then up we have the knight

who is going to turn on little peepers the last person to hit him plus I mean Dan I don't want you to reveal too much about your NPC but has the skeletal knight ever encountered a half a halfling half elephant

dashing figure like no I mean he's a little like attracted to him but like you know he doesn't know what to do with it he's he has this how they move like meat he's thinking about it for a second but unfortunately he's going to pass his intelligence test

and realize that they are actually not romantically compatible well I don't know all right and that is going to be here what is Little Peepers was AC 17, 2 hits so Little Peepers

is going to take 36 points of necrotic damage I don't like these skeletons they're terrible they're not nice he says oh dear I am quite

slashed up that'll take us to Ken All right. Uh, I will bootch out over here and fire on this guy. Let's see. I will, can we cast? It's not going to go through

him. And I guess it'll just be a fire bolt at the good guy Okay, let's see it. Oh, it's an 18 to hit. That's a heads. Nice. And that is

14 points of damage. Oh, would you like to see the skeletal night die? Oh, just miserably. I hate him so much. When I throw fireball, they say, I hate you. And he, like, looks in me like, so what? And then he just dies and he face changes to surprise. Yeah, he looks down at his skeletal hands and realizes with remorse that he should have done more work on himself if he was ever going to find a partner.

And he followed apart. you guys are now out of combat good work yay do you still have that tech magic up can we sift through the two times rubble

and find our magical ding-dongs if you like I can send two of my men in with their halvards to poke the ashes and make sure there's nothing left moving inside yeah good call

yeah two of the Kuwaitoa cautiously walk in, take out their halberds, kind of poke around, slap the flat ends against bricks to see if anything comes running and everything seems good. They give it two fins up and come back out. Once you guys head back inside, you see that this place is utterly flattened at this point. And even the, excuse me, a long weapon and shield that you guys had found, earlier are buried under Ash again.

So can I get an investigation check? You will see, of course, three original pings. If you want to go farther in the building, you'll notice there are three more pangs. Nice. There's a total of six pings, but some of them are pretty far under the rubble. So I'm going to still have there be an investigation check.

My investigation was a nine. You want everybody? Can we give guidance? Anyone who chooses can have guidance and can't dig around in the ash, but if I don't see a roll or if you don't tell me a roll, then it won't happen. Oh, sure I have guidance? I'll see. Why don't you?

What's guidance? A D4? It's this great spell. 28. 12. Why isn't it rolling? Era 20 and error 12. 13.

And, uh, Twiddon, what is that as your guidance? I'm stuck in Brian Possein's dice magic. Uh, here we go. Sixteen. Okay. So tweeting you're going to be able to easily kick out

the two items that were originally pinged that were almost picked up by Siam Spade is going to be an adamantine javelin and a shield of expression an adamantine javelin is a weapon or piece of ammunition made from adamantine

proficiency with javelin javelin allows you to add your proficiency bonus it has a mastery property uh you must have that feature to use that you can also use slow if you hit a creature with this weapon and deal damage to it you can reduce its speed by 10 feet until the start of your next turn creatures hit by creatures hit more than once by weapons that have the slow property speed reduction does not exceed 10 feet uh whenever this weapon or piece of ammunition hits an object the hit is a critical hit nice wow nice

standard deliver but it's a javelin so if you don't have the javelability it's not as likely to hit if you don't have it mastery like if you don't have the proficiency bonus

if you're not proficient in it I mean I just jumbled all those words up if you're proficient in it you get a proficiency bonus and then it's a much better weapon otherwise it can be a little awkward compared to something

you're proficient in that's what I would have liked to say shield of experience Did you say? Yes. So the front of the shield is shaped in the lightness of a face. While burying the shield, you can take a bonus action to alter the face's expression. Huh.

Okay. Is that new one? Does the face do something? Nope. But it can sure look weird. The field of face changing. And Siam, you had the, was a 28 or 26 or something? 28th out of the 17th of the rudder.

Great. So you're going to find a few other things in the rubble, namely the three things that had not been unearthed earlier. Hey, Fred. You kick around and you find what looks like a huge morning star. It looks like one of the guards must have been holding it. There is a skeleton kind of like, Looks like maybe a very tall Goliath-sized humanoid had been wielding it,

and they're now sort of crumpled on the floor. Okay. Not too far away from that. You find there is a blade. Looks like maybe magic got the pin after all. And so this is going to be a mindless. blade long sword

must have gotten this in some kind of adventure at some point before he was nuked

okay the morning star is massive and I'm going to require that you guys

attuned to it to figure out what it is there's also one more

shield you find underneath some of these chunks of beams and such a shield of missile attraction while holding this shield you have resistance to damage from attacks made with ranged weapons Blanky, can you do an Arcana check? Missile attraction? Yes, boss. Can you do an Arcana check, please?

7 plus 815. It occurs to you that you've heard of this. It is a cursed drow weapon. Yeah, it seems like it would just make everything come towards you. Yeah. you can either put it away in your inventory or you can be like fuck this curse shield and leave it yeah yeah you leave it gonna give it back to the rubble hey thanks thanks friend uh is anybody big don't is there anybody big enough to to uh do anything

with this morning star i don't know that's a good question but can anybody use not really a morning star well you can everybody use a morning star uh not me felt the plank yeah uh philplank comes up over yeah we want to give it to the kuoto i'll tell you what i'm pretty sure i have quite a bit of pull over the thief's guild at this point as they are no longer worried about my position as the plank and i am now out to nominate someone to take my position. If one of you would like to be one of the rotating leads of the Delsmith Thieves Guild, I can nominate you here on the spots and you can have quite a lot of influence in bartering with the Thieves Guild.

Rather than having someone such as myself arranged a bartering, you will be able to speak through a sending stone to another member of the Thieves Guild who will then relay it to a network and you will basically be making a persuasion check with advantage every time and be able to get a much higher price for things like this morning star. Cool, Brian. I mean, it sounds like one of our thieves, right? Yeah. Spicoli, you want to be in charge of the Thieves Guild, boy?

Sure. What do I got to do? You get a persuasion. Yeah, you'll get to roll. If you go to the Thieves Guild, you can roll a persuasion check with the D. to run the price by the Thieves Network and get a good amount of gold back. Okay. But you will now be a rotating lead of the Thieves Guild. What do you mean?

You'll be a rotating leader of the Thieves Guild. Weird. I don't know. Like the plane. Do it. Do it. Okay. Okay. that much responsibility I got to pick up roads from school it's a fair amount of responsibility but you aren't entirely sure what

filter plank informs you that it will involve showing up for duty once a month oh national guard on duty day yeah I can still get guitar lessons on Tuesdays absolutely but if you don't show up for work there will be a price on your

head. Oh, what? Oh, geez. I'll be there. He, uh, reaches onto his vest and takes a small brooch off of it and pins it to your vest or jacket or whatever. I think Spacolese, we decided it has some sort of like, uh, long jacket. There's a new sheriff in town. It's a Mexican hoodie. No, it's a small dagger with a ruby in the hilt. Know what I'm wearing. He's saying I'm wearing, like, one of those punches you buy a Tijuana. Yeah, bro.

So anyway, do you freeze? Yeah. No, I'm just pausing while I type something and seeing if someone else talks. So you guys are now in the party having a member of the thief's guilt plank status. Nice. if you want to say you're taking time walking over there I'll narrate up to the role

would you guys like to start selling some shit with your newly acquired swagger yeah sure all right well Philip nods and says everyone will be waiting in soggy town for you when you're ready to slide down

the mud hole as it were and he can send his most powerful sorcerer and worry down into the hole with you. And he can talk about potentially sending more once you're done doing your Thiebskilled business. All right.

You guys head up to the park in the northeast side of Delsmith. Take the stairs through the illusionary bush. Head on down. And this time with the brooch, doors just open for Spicoli. There's no knocking necessary. Doors just unlatch and pop open. You head into the back area where there is,

is the smell of leather and well-polished wood, things like seem like sort of a spa back here. You know that there are candles everywhere. There's no one here, but you do know that like you passed the orc who watches the door and he gave you a little bit of a nod, and you think that generally speaking, this area is meant to be occupied by the plank and the plank only. You walk to the back and see the room that the plank known as Philip, what I've told you about. There is a series of sending stones on the wall,

one of which is the barter stone. So you walk up to it and you get to pitch to the Thieves Network this morning star. How would you like to describe it to them sales-wise? I'll tell you it is a large iron morning star and it's glowing with sort of this like sickly light. Came off a giant or a big guy.

How would you like to pitch it, Brian? it's one of a kind no low ball offers I know what I have it's very fine diner mint I kept it in this plastic bag

with this authentic board ear and the board stops moisture from getting to it so there you go is it rated or great yeah oh it's

no it's I got it graded from the dread of guilt. It's a 9.3. Oh. You hear a series of whispered out of a hundred. I believe Twiddin would like to chime in before I have you make this roll. Yeah, I'm going to give you Bartik Inspiration. So you can roll advantage on a persuasion check, then add Bartic inspiration, Brian.

Tell him it has all the case candy. Let's see here. My least favorite guitar collecting term. Case candy, I've never heard that. Case candy is when you have all the original hang tags and a little, like, screw-up on the kid or... Oh, nice. Most of mine still have their case candy, yeah.

So what am I rolling? Persuasion. With advantage and apartheic inspiration, which is a D6. D8. Ooh. Oh, shit. Brian, that's only a six.

You need to roll that again because with that sweet, sweet advantage. Oh, yeah, okay. And then rolling eight. Well. Oh, my God. Lame. That's a botch.

Let's get that part of inspiration on that six, buddy. eight sir oh yeah nine oh no so it's uh what was the other one i rolled six yeah so it's actually not too shabby because you rolled as high as you could on that berwick inspiration

and got an eight so you with an advantage means a six so yes you're uh actually a 14 14 yeah 14 the whispers increase until you hear what sounds like the low voice of a very large being who says we can quote you

50 gold, if you can get it identified, might be able to bump that up another 10 gold. Okay, who would... Maybe more, depends. Can anyone identify? I don't believe so. Yeah, I don't have any kind of fine. Is there somebody in town that would do that?

Maybe. You think maybe you could get a Kuatua to do it, but also if one of you wanted to dirty a tune, you could sit here for four hours, attune to the item and then drop the attuned immediately once you know what this is. It's just going to run the risk of a curse.

Yeah, I should take the 50. Yeah, I think 50 is good. Let the giant... Yeah, let's turn it into a toad. Hey, it sounds good. Dan, should we get rid of the mine blade since it can only be used by minefliers?

Well, we can get to that next. There's certainly a bit of business I have to get to before we can talk about an expansive topic such as that. Brian, you are instructed to leave you the Morning Star on a table to your right, and you are instructed on how to take 50 gold out of the kitty yourself. Nice. The kitty will be reimbursed by the next plank.

Meow. Who will also leave with the Morning Star and take it to a contact. Will you take 50 gold? Meow. that sounds like a yes yeah almost this is your opportunity of course to cheat the thieves guild

but it sounds like you are not going to why would I do that because it's funny to me personally funny to me that seems stupid now Blaine it sounds like you did a little bit of Googling

I did on the mindglaid so do you want me to roll an Arcana check just to make sure I would why don't you I would know that 13 plus 7 is a 20 Yep, yep, yep, yep.

Mind fliers can turn any non-magical sword into a mind blade. Only one creature can attuned to it, either a specific mind flare or one of its thralls. In the hands of any other creature, the mind blade functions as a normal kind of sword of its kind. So, that means, this sword belonged to the thrall of a mind flare. One of the guards was the thrall

of a mind flair. But he's dead now. Yep. This sword cannot be attuned to by anyone else. You can potentially get rid of it, but it will probably run about the same amount as a standard non-magical long sword in the in the, uh, rough, yeah, let's just get rid of it. Okay. Brian, because this is not magic, there's not going to be any bartering involved.

They offer you a single gold piece from the kitty if you'd like to leave this sword. A sword is worth a gold piece? Which sword? The mine blade. It's too dumb. You can ask why. They probably have to discard it.

Yeah, like an actual long sword will cost more like 15-20 gold particularly if it were standard magic but because this thing is already got a weird mind flare whammy on it it might be something they have to like deal with yeah like spend spell components on somebody put a lot of ground effects on this kid they'll take it off your hands for a gold i think we can hang on to it and not lose any money, right? Yeah. Let's hang on to it.

What about the adamantine javelin? Since none of us are melee friends, unless is our Kuwaitua, or is that Kuatua sheriff, whatever, is he coming with us? We could give it to him. He's a burly boy. You could give it to the champion who is probably going to follow you down into the mud hole who's a friend of yours, you have already seen him wielding pull arms

and you know that he's probably proficient in it. But if you sold it, I will allow insight checks from everyone to know about how much money this thing is worse. I mean, not. After you, right. Because it's a natural,

if he hits, it's a natural crit. So why wouldn't we have that, like, at our side? Yeah, in case somebody can use it. Yeah, and then we can sell it for a million dollars. Well, because this is a very fee-fi campaign, before we go, let's have everyone rolled an inside check for the fun of it, just to see what this bad boys were.

Okay. What are we wrong? Insides. 15. It just doesn't have the case candy, man. 21. 11. That 21 sounds pretty good. Oh, yeah.

Brian, which is guys? I got a 21 also. Nice. Cool. Those of you who can beat a 20, you'd recognize this is worth about 550 gold pieces. Jeez. And that is with like a standard shop owner who just runs like a, you know, blacksmith's shop or is aware of weapons value and the Thieves Guild market.

You might even be able to get a little bit extra. Do the Thieves Guild offer us a gold piece to take it off our hand? No, because it doesn't have a fucking mind flare. stink on it, Chris Tallman. Great. All right. Well, you guys start heading down towards Soggy Town to figure out exactly

how many champion Kuatua you're taking down in the mud hole for the final vault of the fog campaign. We'll have to see how that goes on our next adventure of nerding pokery. Cool. I am at Dan Telford.com and I hope you all have a happy Halloween.

If you would like to hire me for a terrifying a Dungeons and Dragons campaign or a friendly one your kids can play. I have run both for listeners of this podcast. Dan Telford.com. It's got my rates. It's got my contact info. You're all lovely. Goodbye. Brianprane.com

and then you know, thanks for following us if you're on Patreon. And if you're not, please join up. And then also there's merch over there. I always forget the merch. it's Dan

nerd poker pod nerd poker pod dot com slash I think I'm looking it up right now because I don't I don't know that sounds right

just fine that sounds right thank you and then Gromitz Rifters brimpsane dot com that's it

nerdpokerpod.com slash collection slash front page you forgot of HCTPS Blaine? We attribute the success saved mankind from the day.

We're joining us on this episode. You got walls and a roof. Oh, on the next nerd poker, Brian's out of town, so Ken sits on his balls wrong. Can Chris wake up Sam in time to sit on their

balls for coverage in case there's a problem with the Zoom files? All this and Blaine's not going to fall for that sitting on his balls thing So he's gonna stand up who fancy. Oh, God, geez. Oh, God. Oh, I got a bit of a head rush, a bit of a sit down.

Go! My bull! Why did I fall for that? What a dumb gang! Oh my God! Why didn't I sit out? Oh, my head. Oh, my head.

Oh, okay. Oh, the next nerd poker. Thanks for listening to another episode of Nerd Poker. You can follow us at patreon.com slash nerdpoker, and you get bonus episodes from there. And you can also send us anything at P.O. Box 16069 and Sino, California, 911, 91416. Thanks for listening. Thank you.