Nerd Poker - The Fog Campaign Episode 47

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Now that we've gone Full Metal on the disintegration statue, let's bust out that magic-shortcut map case and bullet line it to the end of this map. Screw caution, as-the-crow-flies convenience wins every time!  For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Visit HeroForge.com during their Black Friday sale to save 20% on physical miniatures and accessories such as their iconic color plastic miniatures, custom acrylic keychains, as well as save 50% on digital miniatures and STL files for 3D printing at home. So get your order in soon because the sale ends December 1st. Head to Heroforge.com slash sale for more details. Restrictions apply. It's Brian Possein. Nerd Poker. We're calling it the Sand Camping. My friends are here.

Chris, Blaine, Ken, Engineer Sam, and of course our kick-ass DM Dan Telfer. Welcome to Nerd Poker. Hey everybody. It's Brian Passan. And you're listening to Nerd Poker. It's episode 47 of the Fog campaign. We're Zooming today.

My friends are here. Dan, Blaine, Ken, Chris. Hello, fellas. And as always, running the show from the cool part of town. Sam, everybody. Hello, sweet children. There he is. how's that

how's that ramen doing on a Sunday morning still completely fast to sleep oh nice yeah oh dogs and rain they love to sleep thanks some people right indeed

thank you everybody who supports us on Patreon especially those of you add our top 10 years of support Dan you're muted I said hi I did bits there he is you missed all of it Dan, you're muted. What?

Oh, good God. Yes, we appreciate everybody who supports us on Patreon. And I will say when I said that the first time, Brian nodded, even though I was muted, and it really threw me off. He was nodding at, I guess, something else. Dan, you're not muted. Oh, no. My brain.

Thank you, everybody. And especially folks at our top two tiers like, and that's a dirty. one. Thank you. And that's a dirty one. Thank you, Brian Lusier. Thank you, Edwin, reaching climax. What was that, Ken? I said, I was agreeing with Blaine.

Oh, I'm Blaine. What did you say that he was agreeing with? Oh, thank you. Thank you. Flail to the face. A morgue boring. podcast. Thank you, Wayne Schlegel, Michigan Life and the Casualty. Thank you, Kevin Kroetsky. Thank you, Matt Clark. Thank you, Matt Bright. Thank you, blood on the clock tower. Thank you, Eric E. Thank you, dead peasant Carl. Thank you, Galileo Humpkin. Thank you, Jonathan Gauswell. Thank you, Gallowayal, Humpkin. Thank you, Jonathan Gauswell. Thank you, 20-sided diabetes. Thank you, 20-sided diabetes. Thank you, 20-sided diabetes. be it is. Got the sugars. Thank you. And I'm going to mispronounce this, even though I've read the book several times.

And then there is Moadieb's starring B. Arthur and Adrian Barboas, Chani. Those are Dune references. Thank you. And Barton. Thank you, Blaine's two fingers for all their hard work. Thank you, Hayden Austin. Thank you, D. Bath tub.

And finally, thank you, Bilbo T. Baggin. Blaine, who are those supporters brought to us by? Spores brought to us by DuraCell-Ceptillion A batteries. Get your water bear back on the road with DuraCell. Dan? Thanks, Blaine. What fell off my shelf, by the way, was a gift I got for my brother a couple of years ago. I don't know if you guys are familiar with Chicago dibs.

Are you guys familiar with Chicago dibs? No. Deep dips? What they'll do is they'll take a folding chair. People buy folding chairs just for this purpose, and they'll shovel out in the snow, a parking spot. and then put a folding chair in it. Oh, okay.

And that's the way of calling Dibs. They call it Dibs. And my brother got me a Dibbs starter kit, which is a little folding chair. That's cool. You can beat the shit out of a tiny wrestler with that. Hold me closer. Time.

Well, it's time to talk about what happened. Last time on Nerd Bougar. You will have descended into the under city beneath Del Smith and are attempting to destroy the evil that lies beneath Wilst also heisting some goodies. You have made it to a chamber with a large statue of a little gnome that seems to be staring at some sort of relief on the wall adjacent to it. You've been tiptoeing and illusioning your way up to it,

and we're just starting to talk about stealth arenas. Let's take you to the stealth reigning already in progress. And now we think about what it means to look at a door in Dungeons and Dragons for several hours. This is just like a door, except it's a chamber. In there. A statue, ominous.

The illusion that you cast did not get a reaction from anything. That may be good. Yeah. Why don't you guys stealth to the south behind the statue and see if there's a clear path to get? through the roof. I'm going to do the rod of alertness, detect evil.

Yes, we had talked about that at the end of last episode. So detect evil is going to enable you to detect something that is fiendish or from the nine hells, devils and such. You are not going to get a ping at the moment. Okay. How about just detect a sour mood? You know what?

you get a little detection from Spicoli this season's sourd boy but yes you're doing detect evil and good and that has a range of 30 feet and you can keep it going for 10 minutes but I would just recommend see this is while holding the rod

you can just cast it right yeah rod's head stops glowing and the effect ends after 10 minutes. Once he's property can't be used again until dawn. Okay. Within 30 feet, you do not detect an aberration, celestial, elemental, fey, fiend, or undead.

So undead is also included in that that is much more common than all that other stuff I remembered off the top of my head. And 30 feet will take you well into the chamber, pretty much the whole thing. So the statue is not undeads in some way. Okay. Neither is the relief. And there are no zombies hidden under the floorboards.

That's good. But it could be beyond this chamber. Okay. Does anybody have a detect magic? I can do that too. I'll do it. Detect magic with the one to. Can I do that?

Let's see. I believe you can only use the rod once per long rest or until next done. Well, after, I can do it. Okay. Detecting. Magic. Now. All right.

And that is going to be, again, 30 feet. Yes, the statue and the the sort of relief on the other side is also giving off an aura transmutation. This magicles. Transmutation, huh?

Mm-hmm. It's going to turn us into salamanders or something. Transmutation. My favorite thing might be Giants album. All right. So, yes. So we snuck behind it.

Nothing happened. You did not sneak behind it. That would have required a stealth role. Also, I would like to talk logistics a little bit because that is a, that is something that came from your brain, not mine, and I need to visualize it. Exactly. How are you sneaking? Like, are you trying to avoid just,

what would be the gaze of the statue if it had eyes? To get behind it and then be silent? Or, okay. Yeah, like that. Cool. Sure. Let's get a stealth check from everyone, including Will Peepers. Well, let's, I'm disadvantaged.

I'm saying let's send a couple of good sneaky feeds just to sort of see if there is a path to get through. Well, people says he will go first, if you like, or with another sneaky thief. I have advantage if you need. Ooh. Okay. And Little Peepers has a plus 14 the stealth. Holy crink. Let him go.

That's a stealthy meet the ball. Let's see. Okay. I got a 17 and a botch. So I'm going to have an advantage. So 17. 17.

Great. 17. Rold a 14, which means it's a 27. Awesome. I'll follow him. Yeah, the two of you slip behind the statue and head over here. Can I have, can roll a dexterity savings row? I guess so.

okay Ken, I think you detected a trap Ha ha ha ha Fucking hell botch Oh yeah So what's

The botch then It's going to happen right away You get about this far And unfortunately A botch means This is gonna Hit you there but you get hit with a disintegration ray.

That's not bad, right? Ack, act. Let's see. You guys see this sort of black laser fire out of the statue's eyes. Oh, is it Star, the chief security robot from the black hole? If one dances, one must pay the piper. You take 41 points of force damage as you're... smashed into the ground.

Of course. Jesus. Well, that didn't work out very well at all. Do you have resistance? I don't think so. Slob, are you all right? Wow. Oh, huh?

Let's have everyone roll for initiative. Uh-oh. I was like, should I have a roll for initiative? And then there was a long pause. And I was like, oh, if there's no urgency, yes, we are rolling for initiative. Right. 18 plus 4, 22. Nice.

19. None of the 19? I also got a 22. Well, people's botched. Peepers botched. Two minutes later. Peepers botched. Hang on once again.

Let me pull line up. I'm trying to catch up to everybody by adding these manually for none of you have the Beyond 20. browser plugin Blaine, what did you get? 22. 22. What is your decks? Oh, you got a 22 also, Brian?

Yeah. No way. 18. Nice. Brian, what is your decks? Oh, 19. No, no.

15. And I am just not able to catch up with all of this stuff. Spacoli is very dexterous. and high, right, Brian? So high.

I mean, he's probably the highest of high elves, right? Pretty high. Does he, is he like the high elf where like the ears or not just like... Hang on a second. Oh, never mind. Just looking for a van so I could show you. Hell. Hi, aye.

Wait a minute. You got a van with a... Wizard airbrushed on it? Yeah, oh, okay. That's my skull. You're so wasted. I'm so wasted. Now go wreck a transam.

My dad's got an excellent set of tools. He's going to shit or is you going to kill us? First he's going to shit, then he's going to kill us. Kids, we're referring to a movie called Fast Sop in Ridgemont High, back when there was a public education system. You can watch it on the Criterion Channel. It's got the famous scene in it where BB Cates gets out of the pool while Judge Reinhold jerks off. And every time you listen to the car's first record, you get a boner now. Yeah.

Provegan stereo. Brian, your first. What would you like to do? If you're in 2020, you'll notice that you and the fishies are gathered off to the side there. Fuck some shit up. Oh,

okay. There's no one to fight explicitly at the moment. Oh, well, I'm ready. There's a statue. You can start trying to attack the statue, and we'll have some fun with that.

What's the purpose in the attacking the statue? I wouldn't do it. It's a statue unless you, it's a stone statue. You could try to attack it. Oh, and it's shot something it can? All right. That's all I need to hear.

Throw a tarp over it. Yeah. Smart. What would Joffrey do? Did I have time in my turn to get out of the way of what just hit me again? No, that's why I rolled. initiative for everybody because I told you you were heard it then you laid there so I want

to you'll do it soon but I wanted to inject some urgency by doing that first I'm a firebolt okay why not the face roll the spell yeah yeah oh nice crit 27

who woo woo woo hot so it goes against the statue I love on the Beyond. It's just the Beyond logo when you get a crit.

Fun. Oh, and then so you want to know how much? Let's see. 4D10. Wow. 15. All right. That doubles, right?

Do I double the damage or crit? Um, sure. It was a crit. Yeah. Isn't that for a crit? Yeah. Sure. Although I will say it is unclear whether this did any damage to the statue. Okay.

We can't see if it's done anything to it. I mean, there's like a little bit of ash on it, like a little bit of black scoring on the statue after the fire. But nothing that is immediately apparent. Okay. Well, still took 30 damage. It can stuff my dick. Hmm. I see.

All right, Buba. Oh, man. Please. I can't even. Our world. Anything is possible. Well, that's it for me. Okay.

Well, up next to the turn order is Chris. You know what? Initiative-wise, I'm going to defer to the, because I'm sort of tied with the two thieves. I will defer, Blaine, if you want to go ahead in front of me, because you guys are nimbly thieves and I'm a ding-dong bard, I'm happy to let you go first. Okay.

I'm going to follow Mr. Peeper's path, but I'm going to use my feline speed, which gives me doubles my movement. You see zoomies. To 60, yeah, I'm going to get the zoomies. Yeah, feline agility. I can double my speed to 60 and a crazy stealth

so should I do it? Yeah yeah ready to go okay a 15 plus 12 so 27 stealth okay

and zipping behind the statue and out the other side with Mr. Keepers what was the exact number again 15 plus 12 is at 27. Great. Okay.

Yeah. All right. Very, you very easily and whisper-like head behind it. What is your walking speed? My walking speed is 30

and with feline speed or feline agility, I get 60. Doubles my speed to the end of the term. Sweet. Great. Yep, that puts you right there. You got it.

You do move very far, very silently. Cool. And when Mr. Peepers turns around, I have a hair tie in my mouth. His little trunk bats at it as if he has a cat's paw for a trunk. Cool. Anything else, Blaine? No.

You know, can I make an attack? Does feline agility take an action? Tis important. I guess it's just a trait. So it says when you move on your turn in combat You can double your speed till the end of the turn Great, okay Can I do an attack?

It looks like it, yes I'm just double checking while we are pausing-ish Go ahead Okay, I'm gonna do, I'm also gonna do a flame bolt At the, or a fire bolt at the What Brian shot at Cool, roll the spell attack 14 plus 7

So it's a 21 one. Okay. And 10 is five. Once again, unclear for

did any damage, a little bit of black ash scoring on the statue. Okay. And I'm just going to sort of stay stay a little bit

covered by the corners there. And that's my... What's everyone's passive insight? 16. 20. Oh,

let me say, sorry. Oh. 17. Oh, mine's, whoa, 12. Siam, you're not feeling good about the fire doing damage on the statue. Okay. Yeah, it's worth a shot.

Okay, Ken, you're up. Or should I say down? You are prone from being knocked down by the generation, Ray. I'm getting up and getting into cover. Okay. Are you going to roll behind the statue or back where you came? from. I think behind. Okay.

Just behind and I'm trying to pull up everyone's character sheet so I can help them with this stuff. But what is your walking speed? 30, I believe. Great. So that'll take 15 feet of movement to stand up. I think you skipped me, Dan?

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought that I took that the wrong way about the way you were going to be holding your action, so I apologize. All right. That's okay. I'm just going to put you in the corner there eventually, Ken. But first, let's hear what Chris wants to do. Sorry, I'm going to move up, I guess, next to, if I'm next to Brian, there's sort of, I guess, five feet back from the threshold of the room.

I still have line of sight on the, whatever, the statue, I guess. it's kind of thereish. Does that sound right to you? I don't, did we, I have, I still have the adamantine javelin in my possession. Does somebody, I don't think we handed it off.

You had talked about giving it to Kuatoba, I have that you did not. Okay, yeah, I would say at this point, I would say, I'll look at, what's his name, Gerkel, the fighter guy, and I'll draw the adamantine javelin and start to say like, hey,

you should think about this. Sure, which am we leaving? And I will give myself using a bonus action, Bardic Inspiration. And I'm going to try and throw the adamantine javelin at the statue in the hopes that I'm going to fucking shatter that thing. Okay. So adamantine javelin.

Does it unplug the jukebox? It was all a favor? Actually, you know, my strength is so terrible. I'm terrible. Could I use my turn to hand it to is Gercl or somebody up front? Are they close by? Yeah, they're right behind you. Oh, okay. Glew is the fighter. Gickel. All right. So that instead I will hand, I'll use my turn to hand the javelin to glug and say, aim at that thing. And then instead I'll give him Bartik inspiration. I don't know about that. That's probably a better use of my. Okay, cool.

And that's it. Excellent. All right. So, Lou is going to give it a Chuck and try to hit it on his turn. But first, let's see, Ken, are you doing what you were last turn when I accidentally skipped Chris? The last conversation? Yeah, I mean, I think I should attack and then try that, but I don't know what to attack with. Let's see.

Yeah, I mean, if you want to examine your offensive spells and... Yeah, let's see what I got here. I'm going to cast darkness. Ah, my old friend. At the thing that shot at me. Okay, dokey. So the dark area in front of it. Magical darkness, 15-foot radius.

So over... Yeah, I'll go over here. So like that? Yeah. Okay. Darkness falls. Aha. And then I'm going to dooch back here.

You're going to doche back there. Yeah. I want to fly very fresh. You can only move 15 feet because you are getting up from being prone. So you got to go in the corner. Okay. One, two, three. I got it.

Okay. Nobody. Okay, I believe it is time for the Kuwaitawa. There comes the fish fry. Glug is going to lead the way, as was suggested, and try to chuck adamantine javelin. Do do to do do goody-goody-doo. Goody-goody-to-doo-goody-dush shoes.

Don't drink don't smoke. What do you do? that's a crit it's hardly in you I know it's Apollo there you go boo boo sorry

I like the the look of this place it's almost like geigeresque I was not prepared for an MPC to wield this I apologize 15 points of damage to the statue and you see a large chunk of it fall off

dang now Dan because it's a crit Would that be Dubed? Twid, actually, Twiddin. So that is going to be 13 times 226 plus

to 28 points of damage. I like it a lot. And the javelin returns to their hand, right? Boomerang javelin? I believe this one does not. I believe it falls to the ground with a clang.

Somebody should just stroll out. Grandpa. the syncoparto the rest of the Kuotoa gather around and start chucking spears at it and then we'll do the sorcerer last but here comes a barrage of spears could have sent them ahead yeah we have we have what all these guys to show us how the monster works

they all they all clang off the statue and gather in a little pile by the adamantine. Oh. None of them hit? No. Just the adamantine. And then the Gickle,

the sorcerer is going to cast Let's see. Hmm. Sorry, I need a second plane. What was this spell selection by an NPC brought to us by, please?

This spell selection brought to us by the Phelps Bar. wheat, barley, steak, all the nutrition you need for something like 8 or 9 metals or to go to work. Phelps Bar. And refrigerator from Milton Bradley, a game of escape. That's not a thing anymore. Isn't that weird?

What, did they fix refrigerators forever? Yeah. Always hearing about kids getting stuck in refrigerators. That always terrified me as a kid. Sure. terrify me. And you think it would happen to Indiana Jones? Raise its

scepter and cast a lightning bolt at the statue. I like. And that is a miss. It's going to just arc right across it. Next is the environment's turn which includes a statue and nothing happens. So Brian, you're up.

Why are we even attacking this thing if nothing is working? You did attack it. And then everyone was like, well, if Brian's going to do it. The adamantium spear did that. Yeah, the javelin smashed it. So there's a javelin like you're on the ground. All the Kuatoua got excited that it worked.

And they chucked their less powerful spears to no effect. Can I use it? Who was using it? You'd have to retrieve it, I think. Glug was using it. You'd have to pick it up from right underneath the statue. Okay. How far away is that? Nice.

It is about 20 feet in front of you. You'll get hit with the disintegration rate if you do that. Just be careful. Where are your galoshes, bro? Isn't this the only thing we can do, though? No. Two people got past it by sneaking behind it. Okay.

I'll try that. I botched on my sneak. Yeah. Okay. And then he got hit. And he had to do a deck save. So if you have a high deck save score. I mean, you can just risk taking a disintegration rate of the face and just be like, I'm going to matrix duck to the side.

But you want to sneak behind it, Brian, it sounds like? Sure, yeah. Okay, let's get a stealth check, please. I mean, I do have a high decks. Right, and you have a high stealth. So you could try to like, but I would have you do a slight of hand check to get it. Do you say stealth check for this? stealth to go behind it

yeah yeah well pretty low 15 any guidance uh am I allowed to give them guidance not after the fact

unfortunately what if it was before the fact oh got you there actually yeah I know what if it was I got a different though rules say I got to fire up

the time machine everybody sorry what if you're wrong Nice. Also, yeah, what if I'm wrong? Oh, no. The philosophical argument is shaking me to my core. Yeah, that will be enough to get behind the statue.

So if you're moving, that's going to be 15. You can get like right behind Ken. Cool. If you like, you can try to dash behind for another 30 feet of movement because you haven't used an action. I will. And as a rogue, he's got bonus action. Dash.

Oh, so you could, oh, you know what you can do, Brian? Do you want me to just feed you ideas? Yes. That's classic dungeon master move, right? You've got a high enough insight. This would be a pretty low passive insight that I would suggest this. You're already thinking about trying to grab that adamantine spear.

If you bonus action dash, you'll have enough movement to sneak up try to grab it and then sneak right back to where you are and still have an action to either dash again or attack okay I would just ask you to do a combo stealth and sleight of hand to try to nab that spear from underneath it

without getting hit by a disintegration ray yeah it also gives you a medium drink how do you do both I just one at a time just like do one then do the other it's not a complicated thing and that it only takes a couple of seconds but it is two things that you're trying to do

Sleid a hand 29 Stealth 32 I got a crit I got a crit on my stealth and then I got a plus 12 Can you look over your shoulder and for a second Spicoli is standing there and you're like well I guess we're stuck behind the statue

together until we figure out what's next and then all of a sudden he's just holding a spear. Like, wait, wait, I didn't even blink. What the fuck? It's not my birthday. So I'm going to put it in your inventory if you want to use it, Brian. But you can also hand it off to someone.

What would you like to do? Throw it. I'll throw it. You do have your action, yeah. I think you can just, from where you are, attack the back. you know okay I'll do that okay what today

well adamantine spear in your inventory is what the first order business is so I'm gonna can you manage that Brian or do you like me to try to put it in there for you

yeah how do I do that if you go to inventory tab then manage inventory and type in the filter adamantine spear it should come up javelin Excuse me, javelin. Spear is the other thing that the guys have that are not out of anything.

And then, yep, after you add it, go to your inventory again and hit wheeled. Didn't show up. No. Not yet. Brian, if you want, we can probably just feed you the stats. see if we roll. Well, I'm trying to... I should be able to get it in there for you.

Can you do it? Yeah. I'm on in my inventory. I just added, but it didn't find anything. It might have gone into one of your backpacks. All right. It should show up in your actions now. It's a plus seven to hit. Nice. I don't see it.

If you refresh your sheet, it should be there. I can see it from here. Statue. Oh, yeah, there we go. Look at that. I will go look at that. Oh, what the fuck I botched. Oh, no.

After a 29 and a 32, a botch. Can you please roll a D-100, Brian? Yeah. Oh, no. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. What a time to be alive for a few minutes. Yeah.

And dynamite. It feels like being an American. Where's the D100? Bottom of the list of 20 specifically. Or you could do it in D&D beyond, but it's in the bottom, I think, left on D&D beyond. 33. Oh, okay. So that's just going to be a miss.

Mm-hmm. I do, to do. I'm just double checking your character sheet. I think that's about it for your turn. And what a turn it was. Thank you for not dying. That could have very easily been you falling on the javelin. That'd be bad.

But it is going to cling back to the ground in front of it, where at least your prone body is not lying. Chris, you were up. At least. If that's okay, I'd like to let Blaine take the initial... Just because I think they're faster. Yes, and I won't forget you this. Okay.

Wayne? I guess I'm going to I'll do another fire bolt at the at the statue that took some damage fire bolted back at the same

place where it got hit. Okay not too good 14 yeah it kind of again biff's possibly harmlessly against the statue. Okay I'm going to nervously start to lick my asshole. Okay.

Chris? Um, I think that's what you've gained, Chris. You've seen him lick his asshole. It's a thing when a cat fucks up and then the back leg just goes up. Of course. I think I see the javelin. I would assume, Dan, do I see the javelin at Spacoli's feet, basically? Uh, yeah.

Then I will. strum my loot and then give him cardic inspiration as well. Great. And so you got this. You high elf. And moving wise, maybe I will,

in order to make room for all the Kuatowa, maybe I'll move to the back of the group to make some room for them to get up and do their thing. cool that's what turn out excellent day

10 yes hi hi I'm a little shaking up I will pop out and cast

just to be clear the thing that shot me is the face on the wall yes no you got smacked by the statue. The statue when you tripped

zapped you while you were on the ground. Ah. That's why I cast the darkness at the face. Okay. We can scoge that down. There's, yeah, it's, it's almost like the I may have described it poorly and said it could be

a face, could be a suit of armor. It's, it's some sort of object that looks like it's been smashed with some disintegration rays over time. Does that make a little more sense? Yeah. So we'll say that the darkness is in front of it like that. Yeah, good. All right.

And, you know, the adamantine javelin, can Brian, can I actually have you a D6 and we'll see where the javelin landed? Okay, cool. So looking at. Oh, my goodness. Oh, hello. If you're looking at where the spear landed, that five is going to put it right there.

It'll be kind of sticking out of the space. So what was that again, Ken? Figuring it out still. Okie-dokey. I killed some time for you, though. I'm going to cast Dispel Magic on the statue. All right, what level? Fourth.

Cool. You cast Dispel magic. magic on the statue and there is a sizzling noise why don't you roll an insight check I

the hell will oh that means you won't right 26 you believe you have successfully dispelled something from the statue

oh thank goodness now I will lay down and poke to heal okay you all see as Shalab lays on the stone floor begins placing band-aids on himself very awkwardly lay down in the middle of a dungeon too

just like okay the Kuatowa are going to hold their action until someone tells them what's going on in little peepers is going to use his he's going to say

you drop darkness and I'll test it. Sure. So you drop the darkness spell, which I believe is concentration. Yeah. And he's going to just roll a little check and wave his hand

and nothing happens in front of the statue and he gives you guys a thumbs up. Brian, what would you like to do? Can I try it again? Hitting it or walking in front of it. Little Peepers is indicating you might be able to walk in front of it. Walk in front of it and do what? I dispel the magic.

Dispelled the magic. Everyone might be able to go through the passage now. Okay, cool. Well, I'll try that. You stepped in front of the statue and nothing happens. It appears you may have gotten rid of whatever was enchanted on the statue. Cool. We'll drop you guys out of combat.

Congratulations. Nice. I think we just worked 43. seven points of damage. Brian, are you holding the javelin? Are you picking it up? Yeah, he is. I would just encourage you to be like,

hey man, magic or no, destroy that statue. Yeah, you want to just start hacking at the statue? Because he's got the adamantine javelin, so you should take it apart. I guess. Sure. There's a surprise inside. Okay.

It takes you a couple of minutes of clanging the tip of this javelin against it, but the adamantine is much stronger than the granite. And eventually, and you hack at its knees enough for it to topple and smash on the ground. Fucky statue. Little bits of stone gnome that have stood there for centuries, tumbled at the ground, and echo across the chamber.

Uh-huh. And then, of course, Nelson appears briefly to say, ha-ha. I saw a stone gnome open for fog hat at the petaluma fairgrounds. I might go try and check out this, whatever, the far wall, whatever that, try and see if we can get a sense of what that was before it got shot. Yeah, there's a lot of stonework around what looks like a suit of armor that has been mounted on the wall. Oh. Like physically, like, mounted?

Interesting. Yeah, like it is, it's sort of hanging on a series of hooks, it looks like. Do you want to do an investigation check for me? Of course. I don't have a good investigation, unfortunately. I rolled a natural 20 plus 22. That's right. That's great.

It is mounted on the wall and looks like it might be detachable, but it is on there pretty firmly. Edgible armor. Does, uh, is your detachable? tech magic still up? He said it was for 10 minutes, right? Yeah, it's still up. It's still up. And you said there was magic for sure on the statue. And the armor.

Well, I mean, what kind of armor does it seem like the size that somebody could wear? It's humanoid size. Yes. It is a breastplate, grieves, and it's got like clawed hands on it. I don't know if we can use it, but we could certainly give it to one of these, fish friends. Is there a skeleton in it? No.

Can any of you wear plate? I don't know if you can. I just think class-wise, none of us really can't, you know, we're thieves. Glugle take it if nobody else wants it, yeah. Sure. Let him.

Right. Take it. He takes it and he is going to attune to it eventually, but for now he straps it to his back. You guys now are looking into the next chamber where this very thick green goop

is rolling across the ground. It's sort of river of organic writhing mucus with a film on top of it. Rithing mucus and a film? I'm staying. There is a great deal of thick silt underneath this mucus.

there are very twisted, gnarly diabolical looking vines sprouting out of the north and west areas. You know from the map, like you could go through those areas and that the shortcut from the cartographers case indicates you'll get closer to the southwest corner where you had asked it about if you can smash through the wall

to the south as well, or go through the west where there is gnarly vines. Kill it. Let's smash to that wall. We've got our friend glued with his super armor and his super stick. I think I might need to wait a few hours and try to attune to this armor if I'm going to be able to use it to smash. Well, I don't think you need the armor to smash.

You got that adamantine javelin. I could use javelin, but you did bring out the armor as a method. It does have a clawed gauntlet on it. Oh, yeah, I wasn't even thinking about that. Great. Duns and dragon. Yeah. But is that way to you'd like Luke to try to smash it open?

Well, just because that adamantine javelin, any hit is a crit hit. So, yeah, I think we want to use that thing as much as possible. And then we can all attack the same spot, right, if we're just trying to get through the wall. Sure. Why don't we gather everybody's tokens? near this next room I will ask everyone to do that

and then move you if you don't to move into the space like that all the Kuatow are going to kind of gather around the entrance to this room and then if you'd like glug to do it glug can do it

or if one of you would like to do the wall smashing you may do it I mean as far as do some smashing yeah as far as melee goes that's kind of why they're there. We're, unless somebody else feels like they're good with the javelin.

Can we... Can we ask the magic user if he knows what's up with this mucus? I wouldn't touch it. Can everybody do a perception check? A mucinx guy is going to form. Like that thing that killed Natasha Yard? Tasha you are, sorry.

That was more of like an energy glob floating around. Do you say perception? Yes. 15. Nice. We got 15. 23. Nice.

14. All of you watch Glug approach the South Wall. 15. And only you are going to notice at Siam, but you start to see large Cil, forming in the mucus. Muse snacks guy. Muse next guy. We'll have to see what they are on our next open

episode of poker nerd. Oh shit. Nice. Hey guys. First of all, happy Thanksgiving week. Remember for Black Friday to boycott all the major corporations and give your

money to independent people, especially ones in your neighborhood. That is, you know, Let's just take down capitalism. What do you say, you guys? Yeah. Let's do it for real this time. Yeah.

While our leaders are blowing Bubba, let's just go ahead and give money to the people who are near us. And you know what? I'm as close as the internet if you'd like to hire me at Danelford.com to be your dungeon master, Brian. Speaking of Black Friday and independent stores, I will be at Dr. Keynes and San Luis Obispo. Cool little shop. I was up there last year.

My family celebrates Thanksgiving on a little coastal town where my brother-in-law lives called Cayukas. Kiyukas! And I love hanging out and slow, as the local say, and it's a cool shop. I will be there, I believe, from one to three on Black Friday. I'll be full of Turkey. so when I fall asleep from the trip to fan you can tickle my belly and wake me up and I will sign grommets and rifters

and anything and Deadpool but if you got a fucking devil's rejacks poster laying around your your dorm there at SLO bring it by it's true he signed my power of attorney and then

as always Brianpastain.com and nerd poker merch at wherever that is, nerdpoker.com merch. Christmas is coming. The goose is getting fat. Yeah. A kid at the ball yesterday, because I was wearing a red flannel and I had red shoes and I think something else that was red. And my face is pink and red.

And I have a red beard. and he seriously thought I was like Santa on a Sunday or Santa on a Saturday Cool urban Santa Yeah Off to Duda Santa But Melanie goes that guy That kid thought you were Santa

He looked at you But that's it for me Blame We attribute the success Save mankind For joining us on this episode You got walls and a roof Well,

On the next nerd poker, a magic comet Freaky Fridays is Brian's Balls and Butt this time. Then Brian has to open a can of whoopads. Can Sam stop rolling his eyes and running out of variations?

Okay, Jesus Christ. All of this and Sam kicks Blaine and the balls wrong. A hundred all new nerd poker. Thanks for listening to another episode of NerdPoker. You can follow us at patreon.com slash nerd poker. and you get bonus episodes from there. And you can also send us anything at P.O. Box 16069

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