Nerd Poker - The Fog Campaign - Episode 55

Episode Date: January 21, 2026

Deep in the Undercity, the Ding Dong Danglers (official name) creep closer and closer to sick loot and lich murder. And yes, Nerd Poker, where even the traps are passive-aggressive! For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.  

It's Brian Posane. Nerd Poker. We're calling it. The Sald Campaign. My friends are here. Chris Blaine. Ken, engineer Sam, and of course our kick-ass DM, Dan Telfer.

Welcome to Nerd Poker. Hey, everybody. It's Brian Poseid. You're listening to Nerd Poker. It's episode 55. Wayne's got so many Sammy Hagar jokes ready for you guys. It's going to be good. It's going to be a good one.

I've also got some senior menu at the IHop jokes ready to go. And that's Bling, by the way. It sure is. Ken is here. Double-lucous, baby. Yeah, nice. Chris is here. I don't know.

That's okay. Dan, here. Oh, hi, Brian. Hello. I'm running the show from the cool part of town. As always, our friend Sam, everybody. Hello, sweet children.

There he is. Hi. How's that Robin? I didn't check in on him earlier. He's good. He's just off screen. Hold on. He's staring at me. Oh, my God. That's adorable. Come over here, buddy.

Why am I not in your lap? Yeah, right. That's the fucking cutest, though. You look like his psychiatrist. Yeah, right? I was kind of hoping that when you panned over, he would just be lifting weights. He's shirtless on the floor, yeah.

We're smoking a pipe either way. Also, I don't know that I just, did you get him while you lived in Korea town? Did you name him ramen while you're... No, no, no. That was after I owned ramen. I found Career Town. Oh, that's, what a fun coincidence.

Yeah. Let's thank some people, right? Sure will. Yeah, let's thank those listeners. You guys, the podcast is still here, still alive, and we appreciate all of you for paying attention. If you head on over to patreon.com slash nerd poker and subscribe, you can do it for free, y'all.

It just helps us out because of the momentum. And if you can manage to donate once a month, just a teeny wee bit, we are so grateful for you keeping the podcast. going and if you donated a top tier of support you can get a shout out that goes for usernames like warthog thanks wordhawk thank you scott parker thank you penn 17 club the pen 15 club with two fingers in your itra thank you hayden grant

thank you i've never pronounced this right and they've been a supporter for years thank you apri erics uh thank you big angry npcccc think you Coogel Bear. Thank you rolling on Molly with Friar Jolly. I realize he did the stuff. Thanks Nathan's hot dog scoop. Thanks, Paps, Blatz,

von Schlitzenwipe. Wow. Is that a beer diarrhea joke? Thank you a helpful pharmacy vampire. I stay up all night to help you. My employer feeds on your life force. Blu. Thank you. This one always makes me smile.

Top, top tier, Star Wars username joke. Lobots, useless earbuds. Thank you, Lobots, useless earbuds. Thank you, Jerry Duggan, Duncan, on Kevin Sorbo on Twitter. Thank you, Saga Nodow. That's a person named Taylor, who is in one of my for-hire D&D groups. Hello, Saga Nodow, also Star Wars reference. Thank you, big fan, nice guy.

thank you sweet heat and sour cherry provider send more they're discontinued for health code reasons and finally thank you most of all Uncle Acab's famous boot liquor L-I-Q-U-O-R Blaine who are those supporters brought to us by

Supporters brought to us by Target restrooms don't forget Target has restrooms and you don't need a code Target restrooms not quite as racist as the rest of the target and premature ejaculation flashlight. Perfect for the gentleman who... Whoops.

Dan? Thanks, Blaine. What a great reminder that Target is somewhere where if you accidentally use that flashlight in the dressing room, there's a new pair of pants just a few aisles over. It's now time to talk about... What happened last time on nerd poker? Our heroes went ahead and ran from the giant slime waves.

They managed to slow it down a bit by exploding the floor. Then they ran inside a room full of potions, some of which might make them skeletons. And then they ran through a flame wall, or at least one of them did. Twiddon calls out to you guys. There is a flame wall in a hallway, and it is a mere illusion. There's also a weird magic pink hand sticking out of the wall. You kind of tried to look at it, but the rolls weren't high enough, so you're not sure why it's there. You got through a couple of locked doors to get here, and Twidden is just outside what you believe is the

treasure room in the northwest corner of the dungeon. Let's just sit and think about treasure for a moment. That's what I think it is, Dan. I think it's a treasure room. Yeah, I mean, like based off of when you guys use the map case, it indicated that that's what this was, that the southwest corner is where the litch queen, the thief, excuse me, the undead thief queen,

or whatever connection to the worm god is, the evil center is, but it was indicated there's something of value in the Northwest Room Treasure being just sort of like a broad kind of like good things to put in your pocket word, you know? I will beckon everyone to casually walk through the fire. All right. Let's check that door. You guys all casually walk through the fire. I'll put everyone's tokens over there who is not on Roll 20,

but we're using Rule 20 to go through this. map. Once you guys get over there, it's a matter of checking that door, so you just got to let me know which way. There's several ways you can check it. Magically, physically getting close, mage hand. But like a magic

investigation with your eyeballs and thoughts would be an arcana check. A mage hand would be a sort of physical, magical check. Okay. So, there's an iron ring on this door. The door actually seems physically loose on a hinge when you

rattle it and it does not seem locked. I know some things are loose on hinge. Can I do my magic? What would you like to do with your magic? Well, I mean, just use my sleight of hand to Yeah. Oh, do your conceptual magic with your sleight of hand.

Yeah, do a slight of hand check boss. I mean, will that help at all? It seems like... You're not sure. It could be just an unlocked broken-ass door. All right. But I'm going to check it out without trying to. Okay, do an investigation check. 22.

It is an unlocked broken-ass door. So it just opens up. Mm-hmm. Do you do it? Yeah, let's step through. But like the... All right. There is a lot of creed.

Checking it out. Yeah. Yeah. You push the door open. There are three tables. all of which have little candles and it looks like torture equipment on them. And three flat examination tables with leather straps, all of which have skeletons on them.

Now, Dan, you said this was a treasure room. There are piles of rubble in the four corners of the room. It's a treasure to a chiropractor. Conceptually, you know the case indicated there are things of particular, conquest value in here, but you're not sure what to make of the scene.

There are a lot of very specific things you can do to sort of get a sense of the room, so I'm just going to ask you guys to be as specific as possible and telling me what you do next. Hey, can I do the same thing again? How recent does this room look like it has been used? Like the skeletons, are they still glistening? Are they dusty or dried up? so you're going to walk up to them and just sort of get a sense.

Yeah. I'll do a passive investigation of 20. Okay. Or 20. Sorry. Okay. Yeah. All right.

You walk by them without touching them, but kind of like leaning in a little bit. One of them seems pretty dusty. The other two seem newer and as if their joints are even leaning together. Hmm. Hmm. Mm. Can I move into the room and is there a, I assume, double door here to the south? Yes, there is a double door to the south.

You check that out? No, I'm just sort of clocking it. So three tables, each with a skeleton. And then, Dan, I see, it looks like, according to the map, smaller tables with like candles glowing. Can you tell us what's on those tables? Or am I wrong? Those are, yeah, no, you're not wrong. I'm sorry, I just sometimes need a moment because I'm in another tab when you ask a question.

Sure. So those are just candles or candles with torture equipment on them. You see forceps, knives, scalples, blood spattered cloth. Do there seem to be any what we, I guess you would think of like belongings? Like if these skeletons were once, let's say, adventurers, is there like an area where there's like their clothing or their bags or their magical shields or any of that kind of thing. The only thing in the room other than these six tables, three of which have skeletons, three of which have these torture implements that you can see is rubble in the corners.

Rubble in the corner. All right. I'm close to the southeast corner. I assume I'm close to rubble. Okay. Is that accurate? Yep. That's true.

Can I sort of turn. and take a look at this rubble corner. Mm-hmm. As you said, southeast. Kind of by the double doors. That's what I'm assuming. Yeah. So there's a there.

You want to do investigation check bus? Certainly. May I guide myself? You may guide yourself. Okay. I rolled 12 and then with guidance. 14. The rubble is strange that it's in every corner,

but you can't quite make anything out without touching it. Would you like to touch it? Not yet. Okay. I'm going to throw up a detect magic, general, in the general area. Okay. I'm going to throw up a hairball.

So you throw up a detect magic. There are pulsing spheres of magic in all four corners of the room, including where Chris is, where Twyden is. And two of the skeletons, the ones that Siam observed are more bleached and new, have oras of necromancy on them. Oh, like maybe that potion. Maybe they're using that potion on them. And as far as the four corners, there is illusion magic.

emanating from all four corners of the room. That's this necromancy on the table's illusion in the corners. Uh-huh. So maybe the rubble's an illusion. I will dispel magic. What level loss? Let's go with fourth level. All right.

Nothing happens. All right. Is this on the door or the rubble? On the... He's casting it sort of on the whole room. It's got like a radius to it. Oh, okay. Yeah.

If I'm not mistaken. How do people feel about checking out one of these corners together? Yeah. Like, I think it's maybe just treasure, but if there's like a little creepo in there, what if all of us like, I don't know, let's say we pick the northeast corner. What if all of us kind of surround the northeast corner knowing that it's an illusion and hoping it's treasure, but, you know, maybe it's Sturges. Who knows?

Yeah. All right. So which corners are we going to go? And we've got Twiddin in the southeast, Blaine you're kind of in the northwest. Or no, you want to go northeast? Yeah, we're going to sit. Yeah, if we all need northeast.

Maybe we all together search the same corner just to kind of out of safety. Sure. The other. The NPCs are going to kind of like hang back by the tables just to make sure nothing sketch is going on over there and let you foretake the lead. How would you like to handle this northeast corner? Chris gave some examples of what you can do.

I'm going to poke and prod at it with my blood blade. Nice. And do an investigation check. Yeah, let's get an investigation check for you, Blaine. That's a passive 21. Yeah, there's some sort of illusion. Your cane kind of like wobbles the air when you push through it just like a careful bit. Okay. Can I keep poking in with the sword and feel if there's anything going on in there?

You can't take your passive on an investigation check after doing it once. So yes, you can roll an investigation check to do it with your sword. Okay. 19. You feel like there's something hard within the illusion, but you can't tell what it is without taking a more drastic action, a more direct, what's what I'm looking for? aggressive, like more forward pro-active. Do we know that Siam has found something in there, like a physical content?

Yeah, yeah, like you can kind of even see how his sword is stopping short and making a little tick noise as the tip of it disappears into an illusion. Can I help like pull it out of the illusion, I guess? Yes.

I'm assuming the illusion does not, for example, dispel as we kind of start prodding and clicking things within the illusion. Is that correct? Correct. Yeah, I will try and help whatever get my hands on whatever this thing is and try and pull it into regular view. Okay. Can you do a Constitution saving throw

for me, please? All right. I'm going to stick your face in there like in the Huey Lewis. I want a new Drew. All them ice cubes. 19. As your hands reach through, you pull back quickly. You feel this wave of magical nausea

rocket up your arms and directly into the pit of your stomach. Ooh, weird. All right. I will call that out to the group. I got that at a Chris Angel show once. And wait. Did you dispel magic, Ken?

Yeah, fourth level of what didn't work. I'm trying to hold on to a fifth level in case Right Does anybody else have any things they can do? Let's all get an insight check from everybody Your DM can help you with that question Proud to serve

18 Insight check I heard 18 that someone else said something But it was simultaneous and Zoom cut them off Fuck man Did you say it Blaine? I'm gonna I just rolled an insight which is a 17 plus 10, 27. Holy fuck.

I got a 20. That's a good one. What you got, Brian? Do. Oh, Jesus. Fucking duh. Oh, you rolled a duh. You should get different dice.

That's kind of mean. So, yeah, you're all, you're all kind of sure. Spickle, you're, of course, not going to have this particular insight. Because you rolled a duh. But with the 27 in particular, yeah, like if you had something physical with like a scoop or a right angle to it, you could maybe take whatever is behind the illusion and drag it out if it's not too heavy. Like, you know, something like a crowbar perhaps. What about an adamantine javelin?

Yep. Yeah. Spicoli, you have an adamantine javelin that you could use to pull the stuff. What are you talking about? You're dumb, dumb. You're the head of the Thieves Guild in this town. I don't think you're dumb at all. Okay.

I just thought I was real dumb for a second there. You rolled dumb, but you're not dumb, dumb, dumb. You're smoking that purple weed. You can kind of tell from putting everyone's minds together, Spicoli, that if you took the adamantine javelin and kind of like poked around, you could maybe sort of, um, this is just my suggestion of how you could do it.

This is sort of a physics problem. You could, you know, wedge it behind and kind of push whatever is physically behind the illusion out depending on how heavy it is. I'll give that a shot.

Okay. So kind of poke around. Find a little spot for the point of the adamantine javelin. Sort of between it feels like rocks in the illusion, but about a third

of the adamantine javelin will disappear into the illusion as you push it down into this wobbling space that does not indicate there is a physical object there. Can I get a athletics check from you, Brian? You got this, pal. Use your illusion. Or there's going to be a spaghetti incident. Yeah. Yeah, it's really heavy. You can't quite get it out. can all of us like

little rascals lean on the edge of the javelin and try and use our combined body weight? Yeah. Brian, roll it again with advantage, please. Can I give him guidance as well? Sure.

And of course you're... 15. And then whatever guidance. Guidance. Divor 4. 2.17. Nice. Well,

not only do you pull it off, but I am trying to have... fewer let's climb the side of the boat incidents. I believe that took seven episodes. But it just takes a little while. Of course, I raised the DC a little bit, but you matched it. And all I would do is say it took a certain amount of time because you indicated you were determined to do it. So the time passes and you do it.

It takes just like maybe two minutes of just like finding the right spot of purchase, leaning it to the side, finding a new spot a couple inches away. and you managed to drag a very heavy wooden chest out of the illusion, which wobbles as the chest slowly comes into view. And yeah, after about two minutes, you've managed to take this thing out. And I will kind of scoot all the NPCs aside so you can imagine, like, about where it is.

See if I can find a good treasure chest token. I know I have several. What would you like to do? Oh, it's clear now. Is the illusion still there? The illusion is still there. You had to drag, you know, leverage the chest out of the illusion. But also as if it was like magical orb of illusion water that it was stuck in.

Interesting. I'm going to mage hand the locks and stuff and see if I can just open it with a mage hand. Do you want to check for tramps or something first so you don't die? I thought that. It says mage hand, so he's doing it, you know. He won't probably die. All right. Yeah, mage hand

You know, you try There's two latches On one on either side of the front Of the lid And then a little keypad in the middle Feels like it's physically locked No damage to the mage hand Okay

Can I I'll do a check for traps now on it With your physical self Yes All right Investigation, right? Investigation check, yeah. It's an 18.

Ooh. There is a physical lock, and it seems like a secondary magic lock on this chest. Again? Yes. Magic lock. Oh. Dispel magic, again, I guess. Which level?

Which slot are you going to burn? And fourth. Dispel, dispel, dispel. It's a wonderful thing until you run out of stuff. spells. Yep. I mean, we don't have to. We can just smash it open maybe.

I think this is a good idea. Just want to convey the forward action what it looks like to your dungeon master. What happens? I'm sorry, did you say the level? I didn't hear you say a level. I was waiting

for you just... There's a clicking noise. You've disabled the magic lock on the chest. Terrific. It's disabled. Spicoli, you want to pick it?

Or do you want me to pick it? Sure, I'll do it. Slide a hand check, Spicoli. Okay. I'll give him guidance. Yeah, sure. That could be anything. Do you see what it is?

No. I got a 29 before the guidance, and then I got a four. So, uh, 33. Yes. Christ. Holy balls. Again, Spicoli puts both his hands in his pockets, and yet you hear a click come from the lock,

which is a solid three feet away from me. The Waco Kid. All right. Did I do that? A wrong guy. And to be clear, yeah, you did it without even, like, your hands having to touch the chest. Amazing.

What's in there, buddy? I don't know. Check it up. Who's opening up? it. I will. I don't care. Okay. You put your hands on the lid. Please do another Constitution saving throw. 16.

Do you double over? Oh, wow. You are going to take 2D6 force damage. Jesus Christ. What the fuck. Seven points of forced image. You guys see

Twiddin fall to his knee. and start dry heaving, and then a huge wave of locusts explodes out of his mouth. Gross. And starts swarming around the room. They buzz around the room, the room's ceiling for a moment before disappearing.

Yuck. Disappearing, like magically disappearing or just flying away? Magically disappearing. I will chew the remaining grasshopper in my mouth and just be like, I mean, it's protein, but Jesus,

that's terrible. All right, what's in there? Inside, there is nothing. It is an empty chest. Fucking. Great.

Drink that skeleton curse potion. Well, the Gerald de, all the Geralda Rivera's. That's okay. We only have three more corners. doors and corners and corners

and then the skeletons and the torture shit I don't know you guys want to check out another corner I mean it seems like we have to kind of go through all this stuff right yeah let's do it what do you think you want to go clockwise you want to go south we are northeast we can go southeast or we can go northwest or whatever you think

northwestiest yeah all right all right you guys had northwest tell me what you'd like to do cry. Use that adamantine javelin to drag the locusts out of the illusion so that they can kill us.

All right. Well, if you want to have Spicoli, do another athletics check, Spicoli, you can try to

leverage something behind the illusion, but you're going to maybe want to do an investigation check first to see if there's something behind

there at all. Because right now you're standing around an empty space full of rubble. I have rubble, but if anybody else wants to. You know there's an illusion spell,

but yeah. I will put guidance on anybody who wants to investigate. Sure, I'll do it. I'm going to do my passive investigation, 21, and then... Okay. Extra. Oh, you can't put anything on top of passive. You can roll and take guidance.

Okay, then I'll just take the 21. Okay. Sweet. Yeah, it's very similar. you take your cane, poke around. There's another, as it hits another wooden heavy object. If I do the Huey Lewis

face in the water thing, is it going to make me nauseous again? You don't know. No one's tried that yet. No one's tried facing the water, Huey Lewis business. I'll try it. All right.

This time you have to roll an investigation check because it's again. And you can use your guidance this time because it's still on you. Okay, I'll do a, that's a 15. to 17. Great.

You pull your face just short of another chest as you dip it through thin air and suddenly there's a chest in front of you. You all see the front of Siam's face disappear inside the illusion. Oh shit. Interesting. I come back, am I covered in ectoplasm? No, you're fine.

Okay. But you didn't touch the chest either. Okay. And do I feel nauseous at all? Have that same kind of weird magic nausea? No, you do not. Can I reach in there and just grab this chest and pull it out? You can try, sure.

I'll try it. That'll be an athletics check. That's not good. A plus 2.10. Okay. It's tough, but you put your hands on the chest and pull. You all see Siam's arms disappear inside the illusions. A little too heavy.

Okay. A little heavy guy. round we can do it together it does feel like it is not as heavy as the other chest I'll help the whole the other chest was diabolically heavy and empty so uh try to get with advantage I am 10 plus two plus three so 50 yeah it takes uh just a couple of seconds but you managed to pull this thing out it is a slightly smaller wooden chest looks very similar two latches one on either side of the

lid and then in the middle there is a key okay a key lock I do another uh check on it another check what kind check for another investigation check yeah this is like a physical check I'll give you guidance

yeah uh I have I have fast hands make a dexterity check to pick a lock or disarm the trap with Eve's tools okay Or should I just check? I'll check. It sounds like that sounds pretty

standard rogue stuff. Is there like another bonus on top of that? Are you sure there's not more to that? No, that's it. Crest hands sounds like there's some other thing hiding in there. Yeah, it's just a dexterity check. Maybe it's during combat. That sounds awesome.

Oh, I could do it as a bonus action. There you go. It is in combat. It's to do when you're already doing something else. Okay, but yeah, please. If you're doing a slight hand check to unlock it, roll a slide hand check. Well, I just did an investigation of 16 plus 11. Oh, okay.

27 to make sure there's no traps or anything. There's not a magical lock. However, once you get the chest out, Shalab, you detect this chest itself does not have any magic on it, but there is something magic inside. Oh, that's good. Like a cracker jack box. So the lock is likely, it's a physical lock.

that is non-magical and there's something magic inside it. Okay. I'm going to try to pick it. All right. Sliding hand check. Uh, 17 plus 4.21. Jesus. You're a click-click. It pops open. And? There is nothing inside it except a pair of golden goggles.

They radiate... Those golden goggles. They radiate a strange aura of magic that you can't quite put a finger on Shalab. You're not sure what school of magic it is. they have green lenses and this sort of gold-tinted metal casing around the two lenses leather strap.

Oh man, you're going to be the tunkiest guy at the coffee bean and tea leaf. Can I try them on over my helmet? Sure. Maybe I'll just look through the lenses. All right. So, diffuse your eyes. You can be in tune in about an hour.

can you do hang out I'm just trying to that's a saving throw well you hold up your hand see the bones what's your AC 16 okay

a pair of sharp teeth suddenly appear on the bridge of the goggles and snap at your nose you pull away just the right A second. The fuck. Okay, fuck those things. Throw them back in the thing.

You throw them in the chest and they start chattering around. You see a long purple tongue reaching out from the mouth now. It's a little mimic goggles. Yeah. Should you close the chest and lock it again? Another shitty chest. You lock it back up. This room's stupid.

it. Southwest corner? I don't know why we wouldn't keep searching. It's just going our way. And just as a reminder that there are two illusion oras in all four corners, but in the two that you haven't checked yet and two necromancy, oras coming off of two of the skeletons.

You head over to the other one. Are you going to do a classic, adamantine leverage pull hoping to find a chest you're going to try something a little different this time. I mean,

it seems to be working so far, except for the part where we get treasure. It turns out to be a box of shit. But I mean, getting it out of the illusion, that all seems to make sense, right? Yeah. If it helps,

I can stick my copying what Siam did. I can stick my head through the illusion just to see if there is in fact a similar chest behind. Do an investigation check please. I'll give myself guidance on such a thing. It's your turn to Huey Lewis.

Investigation, you said? Uh-huh. I want a new chest. The magically nauseous. I got a... Go ahead. I was going to make a locust coming out of my mouth show.

21. 21. Total or before guidance? With guidance. So you poke your head through. Can I actually also get an Arcana check? An Arcana check. See how I described this next thing. I get something different if you,

I was going to say get a 15, 18, or 20. A 10, you're not sure what it is, but there is a huge six foot tall swirling portal. It is bright orange. There is no chest. Let's keep moving. A bright orange. Orange portal. Does it orange mean anything? Like, does it mean like that that's fire on the other side or anything like that?

It's unclear. If fire is not the immediate, you can get heat off of it. It didn't necessarily seem like fire magic. It was this smoky kind of magic. Well, I'll definitely share that with the group. Guys, a secret door over here. Maybe if the place starts flooding. Anyone who wants to peek, you don't have to do an investigation check anymore. That was more of a cautionary thing for Twudden. But you will do an Arcana check if you. want to peek and see what it might be. Can I stick my head in there and see if I can hear anything or see or smell anything through the portal? Sure, but it's going to be an even higher investigation check than the last one since you're doubling up. That's it. 18 plus 11, 29.

Oh, that'll do. That's a decent role. Yes. You get this. It smells very earthy. it's kind of like a mossy dank cave more so than the dungeon you're in. Okay. Spicoli.

You like dank stuff. Yeah, it's mossy dank in there. So, well, then I'll tell these guys that I would think that this is a connection to some sort of escape hatch. Maybe just a way out of this whole thing that maybe they, uh, the people who are in here escape with or use as a transport back to their headquarters or whatever

but you do get the impression with your combined detective passive insights you've got some pretty spectacular ones amongst you that this is meant to be an illusion that is more of like a cosmetic mask over the portal so someone can

walk into the corner and simply disappear rather than go through a portal a beated curtain. It's kind of like a look at how fancy my portal is. You don't even know it's there. I'm just disappearing. Okay. All right. Let's check out that last corner. Put a pin in this. Okay. Southeast corner. You guys head over there. You're going to poke at it with the Adamantine spear again? Should we peek through the illusion first just to see what it is? I will happily stick my face through. Investigation check, please.

You'll get something different for an 18 or 20. Well, how about a 6, Dan? You keep pushing your face forward and you feel really weird about your inability to see anything change. You know there's an illusion spell here. Does everyone realize that I'm just pushing my face against the wall rather than through the thing? I will say, guys, I don't know about this one. Somebody else want to just want to add a man team it, Spicoli? Sure.

Okay. Yep, let's get an athletics check. I won't make you roll this more than once. It'll just determine how long it takes. I'll give you guidance. 17. All right. What follows is a comedy of errors as you watch, Spicoli,

poke his adamantine spear around, and the spear doesn't disappear. It just sort of keeps clacking around at thin air. Eventually, Spicoli, you do find something physical, but you can't quite see it. You keep trying to put your face close to it, and you bonk your nose against it. You use the spear to push and push

and you drag it about two feet closer to you, but it appears the chest is itself invisible rather than behind a wall of illusion. Mixing it up. All right. All right. Once we kind of have it there, can we

do the same things? Can we check it for traps and magic traps and all that shite? Which would you like to do first? Should we throw some dirt on it. Oh, that's a good idea. You can kind of get an outline.

Yeah, you can gather up some, you know, fine gravel and dust and toss it on there. And you can get like a reasonable amount on there where you see the top of it,

but you don't get like a great sense other than it's very much identical to the other chest and that it's got latches and a lock in the center. Can I do a I guess I'll check for traps on this. Investigation check.

May I give you guidance? 12 plus 11, 23. There does not appear to be a magical or physical trap, but it is physically locked. Okay. I'll try to pick it. All right. This will be a slight of hand check with disadvantage. Okay, so that's a 13 plus 4.7.

17 and a 17. So it'll be the... What? 17 plus 421. Did you roll twice? Yes. Okay. And you got 12.

Low one is 17. That's pretty great. So yes. You hear it click click. And we open it up and we all die. Yep. Good night, everybody. Oh, thank God.

Long time coming. Ken's thinking what we're all saying. I'm going to kind of like lift up the invisible lid with my sword. Okay. You open it up and all of you can not see the inside of the chest, but you do see floating in midair when you tilt your head the right way. Fold it up at the bottom of this invisible chest are two cloaks. Oh.

Two cloaks. That's very exciting. Two cloaks, a short sword and a wand. Wow. I like it. After all that, we'll take it. I love that you check this one last.

I swear this was the order I had them. You son of a... I am a real bastard. Two cloaks. A sword and a wand. And are any of them pinging magic? Are all of them picking that? They're all pinging magic.

What color is it? They're just magic weapons, magic items. Magic cloaks, magic wand, magic short sword. There's not like us. It's what do you call it? Enchantment magic. Uh-huh. Al-Saint-Tay.

I bet you put on that cloak, a bunch of locusts come out of your mouth. Got it hope. I mean, there are spells you're, could cast to see what exactly the magic is. That's just not going to be detect magic. Do you have, how many times can you cast identify? Zero, because I don't have it. Oh.

Well, we could take this stuff with us. You can. Yes. You know, the next time we short rest, we can try and. Also, if any of you can make an Arcana check, I don't know if it's even possible with your bonuses of 24, or you can figure out what it is just by looking at it. You won't know the name of it,

but you'll know what it does. I'll give anybody who's good at Arcana guidance. I am not. If you have a negative to it, then guidance won't get you there. I've got a plus. If you have even a plus zero, a fluorine guidance and a crit way to identify it.

Well, Arcana it. I got a six. I got a, then ruling my guidance, 13. It's a note. Spicoli, Siam, are you going to even try this one? I'll go to try.

Actually, I won't. Oh. Oh. I think I see what happened there. That's a four. Okay. Spicoli? Spiccoli, you got this.

Orcanna. Okay. Arcana. You don't have a negative one to your Arcana, do you? I have a plus three. There are a can. There you go. There's a reasonable chance he'll figure this out.

Not a good chance, but reason. reasonable. No. Pretty low. You guys aren't sure it would take casting, identify, or attuning to it to figure out what it would be. But one of the cloaks is

electric blue. One of them is a dark violet velvet. The short sword has a curved golden hilt and golden blade. And the wand looks like a short spine with a skull

on the end of it. I'll have to figure out what you do next after rating the treasure room on the next episode of nerding pokery. Hey everybody, keep an eye on my social media. By the time this episode goes up, I may have already announced it on Instagram, or

on my Discord, which I link on Instagram. I hope you like the new D&D thing I'm doing, Brian. Hmm. I got tour dates, Brianprison.com, and got Chicago outside Batavia and I got that

Comic-Con cruise at the end of January and that's it Blame. Sorry, I just noticed that my cat chewed through my tricorder strap. I don't know if you mentioned that we're nervous. I don't think Scotty's going to take that back into

the ship. Yeah, I can't return. We attribute the success saved mankind for me. We're joining us on this episode. You got walls and a roof. Well, All the next nerd poker. The time Taffy Brian sat in last episode

sends his balls hurtling back in time to before he sat on them wrong. Can Sam send blame back to scrape it off before he could save dozens and dozens of jokes about sitting on his balls wrong? All this. It must have worked because Brian just crushed those fuckers to a ball on a ball to new nerd poker.

Thanks for listening to another episode of Nerd Poker. You can follow us at patreon.com slash nerd poker, and you get bonus episodes from there. And you can also send us anything at P-O-Box 16069 and Sino, California, 911. Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening.