Nerd Poker - The Fog Campaign - Episode 59

Episode Date: February 17, 2026

This chitinous alien key and this chitinous door in the quietest corner of the murder dungeon will certainly lead to a room full of lollipops and moonbeams, there can be no doubt. Yep. Let's definitely open the door without really thinking or talking about it and then stride right in there. Like you do. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Hey, it's Brian Possein. Nerd Poker. We're calling it. The Fault Campaign. My friends are here. Chris Blaine. Ken, engineer Sam, and of course, our kick-ass DM, Dan Telfer. Welcome to Nerd Poker.

Hey, everybody, it's Brian Pousain. And you're listening to Nerd Poker. My friends are here. It's episode 59. 10 away from a high five with your pals. But we're all here. We're zooming. It's a rainy day in Southern California.

There's songs about that. But let me say hi to my friends. Look at them. Blaine, everybody. Rainy days and Mondays always get me hard. I mean, down. Dan's here. 59 to 69, where you sneeze and

accidentally headbut their ribs. Chris is here. Miss, you know, I have to call HR about all of you. Yeah, I'm with you. I just woke up. It's gross. It's too much. Ken's here.

You're here, we're here. Get used to it. Running the show from the cool part of town. As always, Sam, everybody. Hello, sweet children. Look at him. What a delight. How's your dog?

He's right there. Oh, my God. He's here from signs of the lamp. So cool. He's watching. Is he aware that it's raining outside? No, he isn't. He hasn't. He hasn't been outside yet.

He's about to learn. It's not good out there. Not good out there for dogs at all. All showing. We should start. We should thank some people and then play episode 59. What do you think? I like it.

I think we should do that. Of the frog campaign, of course. I forgot to say that. But at any rate, who could forget. You all knew where we wear us. Should do the frog campaign. As Rahman goes,

frog campaign? Yeah. We're all frogs. It's fun. Yay! A lot of jumping. Flail your arms. Well, I would like to thank those Pace Tran supporters

at our top two. tiers of support. If you can support us, we appreciate it. The top two tiers of support have usernames. Like, oh, money machine, counterfeit money machine, baby loves her money machine. Thank you. Thank you. Fryer Jolly's Cweep show next door to the Cloaca Pub and Grill in the Dildo District. That's a couple of jokes in one.

Thank you. Larry Bidnell. Thank you. Hello. Hello, all. What tacos are your favorite? El Pastor. are right?

I don't mind Cabesa. It's a type of the way to cook. I think it's pork. Yeah. Or Langua. Lingu is yummy.

Mm-hmm. All right, that's it. Wayne hates tacos. And Jack in the box. Really? Are those good tacos? Oh, my God. They're weird.

They're their own thing. Yeah. I don't know what they are, but they're delicious. So just a jack-in-the-box taco. Yes. and absolutely horrible for you, I guarantee. Oh, well, I mean, I expect nothing less front of my friend Jack.

It's a, it's a corn tortilla with a weird paste inside, and you eat it. Oh, that's good. Man. Yeah, and then you just go right to the hospital. You know those days when you're so hungry after long-danged and stuff, you're like, oh, I can't wait just to get a mouthful of paste? It's tasty paste. Sometimes I like to just go to the Taco Bell parking lot and cry.

Does that kind of a taco? Thank you. Two fried eggs, two poached eggs, two scrambled eggs, and two medium boiled eggs. Which reminds me, breakfast tacos are best. Thank you, Sparky, the unicorn of woe. Thank you, toss a boink cone to your bunkal, oh, rider of donkeys, oh rider of donkeys. Thank you, Bob Zeus of Bob Zeus's discount hammers and hammer accessories. Thank you, Carl Resnick.

I don't do drugs, crack as whack. Thank you, Jason Yarn. Thank you, Emergency Billy. emergency, Billy. Powering up. Thank you for the Doppler effect there. Thank you, Whalen Jennings and Madame. Thank you for being a friend.

I wish very much of the next supporter on the list was travel down the road and back again. Thank you. I am a butt thief, my favorite moment of this campaign. Thank you, Mary Jane Posse. Thank you OSE. Thank you, Beholder. I don't even know her.

Thank you, Marion, the octogenarian barbarian, which I hope you're actually someone in their 80s, murdering people at the library. Thank you, my stimulus check. And finally, thank you, James Brooks. Explain who are those support us brought to us by. Spores brought to us by. Hi, I'm Mr. Beast,

and I'll bet you $50,000 that you'll chew your own dick off before you eat my Dubai chocolate microwave frozen burrito. What's it going to be? Dubai chocolate microwave frozen burrito or chewing your own dick off. 50 grand says I already know the answer. And that's why they call me

Mr. Beast. Mr. Beast, Dubai Chocolate Microwave Frozen Burrito, available where Dubai Chocolate Frozen Burritos are sold. Dan? Thank you, Blaine. I mean, really just thank you for

summarizing what all of entertainment And in 2026, I really think that sums it up nicely. That is the only kind of pitch that you can get approved right now. Tune your dick off. Tune your dick off or frozen microwave burrito. Which one do you choose? Do you buy chocolate's very big these days? I had it once.

It was good. That one, not the other one. It's all hype. I mean, I think spoilers, it's chocolate and pistols. Yeah. It was good. It's not go crazy. I never had it the way I had it before. It was certainly fun, but...

And you know, the the duby chocolate is taking it to the streets. Yeah, except for when reruns in the factory. I know. Then they stop the concert and point at him. Oh, I remember that. All right, well, I think it's time we talk about

what happened last time on nerd poker? You guys were sneaking around past some frog he trying to open some everyone's favorite doors. So, yes, there are a couple of hallways coated with slime with frog heemoths amidst them. There was some tiptoeing around. What I have in my notes might not be completely accurate. I'm trying to remember the last exact moment.

Blaine Hooty Hootie Hood for us to come to him. And he said, we'll find out what that means. I think something in the terms of, did anybody else hear the hooty-hoo? I think is what I feel like is what you were implying. Yes, he said, hootie-hoo. I got into re-listening the episode while we were waiting for Zoom to kickoff, and I couldn't figure out if I missed something, but I was listening. I was like, okay, so you said, what?

Where are you doing? It sounds like that is the reaction I need to be rolling. So I am going to have Frog Hemis, roll a perception check. Did I have Blaine Roll? Did you hear that, Chris? No, there was no role. I did. Unless Blaine remember.

No, but I would have Blaine Roll a deception check to try to do it a little secrety versus a perception check. Okay. If this were a lie, it would be deception versus insight. So deception, you said? Yes. If it were walking, it would be stealth. 11 plus 2, 13.

Okay. there's a little spider on my desk is cute oh there he goes a guy A little spider All right rolls in 11 They did not hear Uh Can I hear everybody's passive perception

Passive perception 20 13 nice 20 Oh yeah you hear you hear it Yeah you're all You're all wizard You're all like thief wizard You hear it.

Our heads all like mere cats snap in the same direction simultaneously. And you're not even the cats in the party. Can we carefully knowing that we have to sneak past this thing up ahead, can we carefully make our way to the west side of this north-south hallway? basically like can we get ready to silently or maybe we have to create a distraction yeah let's review where you are because if you're if you're right if you're talking about being on the west side of this north-south hallway

I assume you mean like at the very edge of the corner where the froggy myth is on the other side and trying to get across the way blame or you know what maybe it's better for us to see as we're inside a room with the door maybe we can make our plan here before we stand right next to the hall. Yeah, you'll have more room to talk here if you wait one more moment. Blaine will be left out, but I also am not sure.

Can we like, I'll go to the door. I'll go to the doorway where he is and kind of give him a silent like, holding up a finger is in one moment and then a thumbs up. And then I'll go back in the room just so he knows. Okay. I mean, it's not nice to be mean to a cat. Can't ignore a cat. No. I mean, they don't really like care about what you do, but if you leave them out, they'll be on your furniture.

So what would you guys like to sort of prioritize here? I mean, I think that's the big question. You know you want to get across, but then is it a matter of figuring out what happens next? Are you going to try and go into one of those other rooms? Yeah. I mean, I can cast something that hopefully it won't see us pass across. Oh, cool. Yeah. I was going to try and see if I could do. a spell that has like a far range so it actually activates even if it's like not even an attack but just a thing uh past the frog heath so as to summon its attention southward away from us cool that would work too um a little uh i think you may be darkness oh there you go

that's pretty quiet i i think ken has the right idea Right. Spicoli, you down with that? Yeah, man. Spacoli, I understand. You fought a few frog chemists in your day. Are you scared about this thing, or are you thinking no big whoop? I wouldn't say scared.

Frog hema. You would say, not the most chill? They're not the most chill of all the most chill creatures now. Yeah. I love your pamphlet, by the way, about, chill creatures. Glad you checked it out. Absolutely.

Hey, man. I saw you put a lot of work into that thing. Is it called Sir Chilomime? Do you want to do your darkness, Ken? Yeah, I'm going to cast darkness. And then once he casts it, how long is it last? Let's see. Like a minute or something.

Yeah, up to 10 minutes. Can you do that? And then we can try and still stealth across. Maybe we go as a group or one at a time. Whatever makes the most sense. I guess we'd all have to go one at a time. But at least the darkness will help us.

Let's do it, man. And then, yeah, I believe Blaine wasn't your plan last time. You had gone ahead all the way down the hallway and checked out those doors. Yes. And felt like it was good. That's why we're doing this. We're following Blaine back all the way down the hallway to the east.

Yes. are you also doing the distraction or are you doing this instead of the distraction, Chris? Oh, um, I thought that darkness was great. I can certainly try and put something behind them. Yeah, I will, I'm seeing what's the longest range. I have, no, that's not going to do it. Sorry, it's when it's get something else. No, it's okay. I think, uh, let's see, I'm looking at twins. stats too. So I think Twiddin would just sort of

passively understand based off that 16 passive insight that like this thing is about as dumb as a brick. And so doing a second thing would not necessarily trigger some sort of internal am I being fucked with?

It would just mean it would like look to the north see nothing with darkness, look to the south towards where the noise was and maybe put extra focus. Awesome. Yeah. Then I will do that. How about can I just throw a fire bowl? My point is just to throw a fire, because it's 120 foot range, can I just toss a firebolt down the hallway? Actually, I heard that would be a deception, check.

Just a quick question. If you attack while something is in darkness, does that dispel it the way an invisibility spell is dissolved in an attack, or does it just keep, is it just darkness? If you attack something in darkness, does it dispel the spell? Like, will the, with the fireball going through the darkness be? Yeah, I'm just sort of curious. If it's like, if you're invisible and you attack, then all of a sudden, your invisibility is going to.

Okay, forget it. Just, just. It's not like that. No, like, if you were, I think this is what you're asking. If you were to, if Ken were to cast darkness and then from the other side, Chris were to cast firebolt, it would go through and appear just like a firebolt was starting nearby as. opposed to coming down. Okay, okay.

Okay. Just action. So this is what I can do. I don't know if this is the best idea. I can cast minor illusion, which can be a sound, so I can make a sound behind it, but I can only cast it at a range of 30 feet,

which means I'm not close. If I'd have to sneak closer to the frog hemith to make, you get it, the illusion behind it. If you put the darkness closer to the frog heath, I could try and sneak into the darkness, cast the minor illusion to get it to go away. Is that too complicated? I don't think so.

All right. Then if you guys are down for that, yeah, so as soon as I cast minor illusion, or maybe you guys will all hear the sound, I assume. I'm down with sickness. And then hopefully the frog heath will look the other way and we'll go. What's the sound you're going to make? I think it's probably going to be like a cry like a oh or something like that behind it

I mean it seems to be it seems to have a sense of looking for people so I'm going to make a people sound be sure and what is this sort of 15 foot cube you're going to be doing the darkness ball and you're going to do it on the froggy mithkin are you going to do it in front of a product

I'm going to do it like to incorporate the fire so that we have a clear path so that we're not blacked out. We're not blind, basically, going through the space. It's not going to be in your hallway. Right. It's going to be on the stairs. Starting down here.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. On the stairs. All right. And so you can't. QEE us getting east. No. And then we're going to immediately follow. Are we redoing darkness first and you're sneaking into the darkness? Yes. And, okay. Now, keep in mind.

is minor illusion something where you have to see the area where you're casting it? Oh, good question. Because you would have to poke your head out the other side if that were the... Nope, just within range. You create a sound of an image. Great. You can sound or an image of an object within range. It lasts for a minute.

Great. Okay. So that's going to mean Shalab sort of just barely is going to stealth around the corner to cast darkness, Shlop. Can I get a stealth check? Yeah. And this is going to be immediately followed by Twitin doing a stealth check to try to sneak into the darkness to get close.

And then a deception check to fool it. So it's going to be three checks. Great. Well, my stealth was at 12. Okay. But I don't have to get that close to it either. That's what you think. You don't have to get close at all.

You don't really even have to like, and I don't know if you see it's dumb as a brick. But so if I can just get your Chris's roles. Got it. Okay. So for stealth, I'm rolling a disadvantage, but I'm also going to give myself Bartic inspiration so I can add a D8 to whatever disadvantage is. Okay. Uh, darkness is going to be like kind of like.

Okay, so I got a 12, but I'm adding my bardic inspiration to that. The 8. So 15 total for the stealth to whatever get there. Okay. And what is going to see the point you cast it from within the darkness? Um, there. I guess I'd go to. from the top of the stairs

I know the stairs go 15 feet so I guess I'd probably go well I have to go let's say if I go 10 feet so from here so like yeah so if you get 30 feet it would go like 10 feet behind the creepo

that's what I just want to make sure I'm getting it behind so yeah so I'll stealth up to VAR if that's okay I'll cast minor illusion And let's get that deception check. Get it. And then King Dum Dum. 28.

Whoa. All right. I think that's against his 14. It is a negative 4 to that sort of thing. And you would hear, with that passive perception, a sort of slurping sound. Jesus. and then a booming sound as it's just sort of sloshing its way through this acidic sludge away from you. Do I get the sense?

Everyone. The acid is doing anything to the frog hemith? Like the frog hemis seems unaffected. No, you guys would have noticed if frog hemith is just sort of has been thus far hanging out in the sludge. Yeah, you losing that shit. Yeah. It also hasn't done a ton of damage against you guys. So you think it's maybe more like not good to have on you for long than it is instantly damaging, whatever that's worse.

So maybe like it's more corrosive. Yes. Yes. So let's get a stealth check from everybody except Blaine to get to the other side of that hallway. I'm going to be rolling from the NPCs as well. I believe I'm going to give myself a guide and some. Yes. I'm going to get myself guide.

nice 21 shit 12 and then 15 for me nice 14 14

I think the whole time I'm sort of like really I'm very loud very very very loud So you guys are going to be tiptoeing kind of like around the second corner just to ensure that there is as little noise as possible and hang up my neighbor is banging on the wall but I think it's not for my attention. So yeah, Lilpeeper has got 829 on this stuff.

I don't know why all my stuff is also double rolling. Just ignoring that. Nice. you guys are going to get across the hall and I remember Brian's token and you get around the corner without any immediate consequences I'll fist bump

Shalab you What about all the fish guys Little Peepers and everybody everybody's over there Yeah, okay Peepers I think A really super score, 29 and things Okay

Yeah, yeah I know Just sort of effortlessly you glid down the hallway. Glid is a word, right? What is up next for you guys? I'm going to hang out out of the doorway.

Yeah, let's we'll just wait for the spell to wear off and let him come and get us. No. Yeah. I'm just, I think, yeah, we're the intended end destination. I'm sorry to

no, no, I'm saying the same thing as you go. I'm running down this hallway with my tail up. Yeah, yeah, we're all here and we will follow our friend. And here I am at the door. Did we check this room we're going by? I think he already did.

Like he listened to both and it's, I don't remember what exactly it was, but Blaine, you were like, this is the room to go to. Yeah. Got it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Also, it's, you know, just the way to get through this, the shortest way to get through the slime down to where we're going, I think. So you head to that. It looks like second doorway, and there is a keyhole. It's sort of got this kite-ness quality to it, and Blaine has this chitinous key.

Okay. I'm going to have the mage hand turn the key. So what you've got is technically a key run carved into black stone. You hold it up, and it sort of, of instantly pulls itself as if by magnetism into a socket. And there is a dry suction sound. Yeah. And you hear a loud click.

Okay. And I get the key, can I get the key back out? Okay. When you touch it, it sort of like goes, it goes swoop and falls into your hand. Sure. The door seems unlocked. Okay, I'm going to misplace the key and then we go. Okay. You head in and then there is a room.

There are some strange plants growing, some root systems. It looks like this is a place where there's no sunlight, so it's immediately creepy just to see all these things down here. You can hear the, sort of gushing and slurping of that acidic corrosive sludge. But it seems like on the other side of a cliff, there's a drop-off in the middle of the room. And near the edge of the cliff, there is what looks like a tomb. Oh, God damn it.

Tomb. Well? All right, let's disturb it. Hang on. Smoke this joint first. Ken and I need to get fucking. I believe this is when in nerd poker

we set the whole room on fire and run away like that sounds like a plan the good old days when you can just burn down a jungle and run remember remember when you had

someone your party who would just just destroy everything with fire All right let's well we should the does it seem like when you describe this vegetation, does any of it seem kind of like, that's a plant waiting to kill me?

Sort of like a, or is it just sort of the quality of the floor in this room? Oh, let's get a nature check. Yeah. Everybody do a little nature check. Nature. 13 plus 13 plus 3, 16. Nice. 10 plus 2.12.

19. 16 plus 3. 18. All right. Yeah, you're going to get the impression that it's not immediately like semi-sentient or going to come after you in some sort of dangerous way, but it does feel like the food source that these things must have is creepy. Maybe like there's a potential for some sort of parasitic infection if you were to be around it for a long time, but it doesn't seem like it is going to attack you now. Cool. That's good. Yeah. Can I sort of like take a look around this tomb, this crypt, see if there's any like markings or if it's been disturbed lately or?

Okay. As you look around this room, it looks like this might be the least disturbed room that you guys have been in so far. And you get the general impression from all of your passive insights that this room has probably not been opened since that key. went in that keyhole last, which was probably somebody different than who's been occupying this area. So can I get an investigation check from everybody as you look on?

14 plus 11, 25. A plus 210. I got to reveal a secret to blame, though. 9 plus 4.13. Spicoli. Yeah. We need an investigation check. Sure, man. Dan's about to unleash some lore.

Watch me investigate. 18. Nice. In life. All right. You've got it. 18 in life, you know. Your crime is time.

You get the impression that... Say, yeah. Hello? I. You guys get the impression that this room was, yeah, largely untouched for a long time. And Brian's doing visual bits. It's like a squirrel. It's like a squirrel drinking a Coke.

Yeah. Enthusiasm behind it was impressive. This seems like this is a largely undisturbed room. As far as you can see, there's no loot except for this tomb. And this tomb has really unusual ruins and markings on a little sort of plaque. On it, can get a history check from Blaine and from Brian. As you two manage to get a good first impression from the shapes, but I don't necessarily know what they mean yet.

12 plus 7, 19. Nice. Rolfo Nicholson. 13. No, no, no, no, 19. That's a hard castle. Brian, where'd you get? 13.

Okay. Yeah, you're not going to necessarily know what it is right away, Spicoli, but Siam, this looks like it is probably a mind flare kind of ruin, similar to how you got a mind flare vibe off of the key. Okay. I just open the two and stick my face in it. No, I'm kidding. Now, do you want it to look more like the original alien?

or the Prometheus You know what? I'm going to do kind of a far-out Space Nuts approach. Space Nuts. Watch out. Buzzie in that?

It was Chuck McCann and Bob Denver. But Ruth Buzzy wasn't on it. But was she? Ruth Buzzy was in Lost Sasser. Los Sasser, Jim neighbor's. I heard he was a bear. I had my traumatic childhood memory of far-out space.

nuts. There was an episode where a planet they went to whatever you thought of, it would get created. And at one point, Bob Denver starts describing like, the worst monster you ever saw. It had this big green nose and a crazy red body. And as he's describing it, they're in sort of the split screenshot next to him. They're green screening in an alien exactly as he described. So first, you see the nose hanging there and then the crazy arms. And it sort of appears. And it then starts coming for him. And as a little kid, I was like, that was the scariest goddamn thing.

I had ever seen my life. And I loved like Marty Croft ever since, because I was just like, this is fucking, it rocked me for my core. Gumby was where I went from my scares. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.

Everything in that show was terrifying. Fucking Gumby was terrifying. The musical notes, the sweet rolls, all right shit. Yeah, that little Ben Shapiro alien guy. I love it.

Remember the little guy that he's totally Ben Shapiro, but yeah. Yeah. It was a tiny little guy and he would get, he was mad all the time. He was bigger

than the actual Ben Shapiro, though. Yeah, probably. Three inches. I got sucked into the bits. Blaine, what are you doing? Sorry. There's a cat in my face.

No, enjoy the cat butt. I am. Are you dusting? The cat's doing a bit. Jumping over to make the ribs smell a little more. I'm going to... It looked so much more like a person waving a feather dust. It really did.

It really did. I thought you were signing a scroll. I was like, a sketch? Is it time for a sketch? A real cat. Ken, you'll appreciate this. Nice. I saw your hat.

Oh, yeah. Beautiful. Did you? Just reissued this. Yeah, Nazi punks fuck off. Historical recording. I had a lot of fun a couple nights ago. Being able to have some brief moments where we told Ice to fuck off.

Oh, yeah. We did Lucha Vovum and Pomona on Saturday for Valentine's Day. That's fun. We said, fuck ice, and the crowd went understandably nuts. Oh, cool. Yeah, we're good. A lot of fun to say no one's illegal in stolen land and then have a room full of hundreds of Mexican people to hear. If there's anybody on the other side, they kept quiet.

Very quiet. I would think. And then got stabbed. There's more of us in the road of them. You know, I'm going to kind of leave the, I'm going to leave this tomb alone. I'm going to kind of go down to the bottom of the room here and sort of try to figure out how we can get through this slime without getting slime.

Great. I'm going to go ahead and put this since you had such a high investigation role, I'm going to say this was just sort of already have been something you had check. I just didn't say it because I wasn't sure you were going to have spent a lot of time looking over the edge. But yeah, you look over the edge and there is a kind of clearer version of the sludge. Everything you've seen so far, it has been translucent.

You could see maybe an inch into it before it got murky and disturbing looking. But there's a, like some of the silts might have been filtered out by the root system to the south. So it's, it looks like it's not ideal. To maybe touch,

you definitely wouldn't drink it in a million years, but you can see almost to the bottom. And you can see there are shapes. Oh, shit. That's good. It's a little far down for you to get like a close view of what it is and the movement of the top of the corrosive sludge makes you think the shapes of the top of the liquid are intertwining with the shapes beneath, but you can see something moving in opposite direction of the waves of it a couple of times. And now, this stuff right here is this, this is like a root system above the sludge?

Yeah. Yeah. Would we be able to like jump? Does it look like the roots would support us? I mean, first of all, might as well jump. And then second of all, it looks like they would probably support you based off of the root systems. You just kind of smashed through and crawled over before, but that you could easily twist an ankle if you were to land on it.

It's very uneven. The roots are like only an inch or two wide at a time. And you'd be landing on such uneven ground that your foot could easily land and slip or even break a foot because you're trying to put all the pressure when you land on just a little route. Could we like tie a rope off and use it to kind of, you know, climb down? Well, it depends what you mean by that, because there's not flat ground at the bottom of this little cliff.

Oh, it just sort of goes down into the sludge? Yeah, it's a drop-off of about 20 feet into the sludge. And there is a gap of about 10 feet between the cliff and where the root system is solid enough to jump. And so you'd be jumping down about 20 feet and across about 10 feet. To get to, are we talking about over here? No, I was seeing over here closer where Blaine is. You can go over there, but I thought you guys were trying to get through this sort of doorway that I had highlight lines. I see.

You could go over here. No, I just want to be sure which direction we're talking about. There is a little bit of a raised rock and a sort of second cliff that's not as high up over here, but it doesn't have any noticeable features. It doesn't really move us forward. It gets us across, but not really. What if we, I guess this is being hopeful, but let's say we successfully get one of us across. You know, we could then at least throw a rope and have it on either.

so people can use it as a handhold in case they do fall or something like that. You know what I mean? Just in terms of first steps of getting us across. What do you guys think about that? The two thieves are probably going to have to do this. So I want to play to your strengths as far as you guys. I don't know what being acrobatic, let's say, versus athletic. Chris, can I have you do a wisdom saving throw?

Oh, oy, aye. Yes. 10. Okay. So you start thinking about how Siam just told you how the tomb has, like, dangerous ruins on it. And you start to get the feeling that maybe Blaine was fucking with you a little bit, because you're pretty sure there's treasure. You just get this really strong sense that there's something valuable in there,

and that Siam's planning to come back to it later when no one else is around. I mean, that is why. we're here i'm saying this suddenly out loud i mean that is why we're here we're here to get treasure right i bet the thing in the tomb is making you think that so that we open it up and free whatever you can i do i notice this that he's well oh he says it out loud yeah i'm saying it out loud yeah i'll let chris dictate what the words are yeah that's what i'm saying it out loud as though the thought came to me and I'm agreeing with that. I'm suddenly like, oh, yeah, well, I mean, obviously,

the reason we're on this whole thing, we're not here just to save this town, we're really here to get stuff, guys, right? And isn't there some stuff in that tomb? I would say, hey, Tuddin, leave that tomb alone. That makes a lot of sense. That is the correct answer. Not narratively, but reference-wise. If you don't open your tomb, you can't have any pudding.

I should have said he can't have any Twitten. All right. I think if they both like, each of them puts like a hand on either shoulder, you know, and sort of that like, hey man, slow down. I think Twitten will be like, these are my friends. Okay. It's I. I suppose, I suppose it's possible.

Yeah, Spicoli. Are you like shaking me out of it? Spicoli. Yeah. Are you shaking me out of it? Sure. Brian, can you do a wisdom saving prayer, please? Oh, no.

No. Five. Okay. You think it's really weird that Siam and Shalab are trying to talk Tuddin out of getting treasure in this crypt, and you really think that this tomb has something valuable in it. you're not sure what, but you think that it's being deflected in a strange way. You think about that. Dan, at this point, now that my friends have stopped me, do I, am I aware of this?

The reason I'm asking is because as a bard, I have a thing I can do to help people when this happens. So I don't, but I don't know if I'm, am I still under its effect? Yeah, you aware what happened to you? I mean, everyone always wants to just be aware of what's happening. No, but I want to try and follow the way the game works. So I'm looking at the rules while I say this out lot. I'm not trying to just like straight up tease you. Let's say you are going to do an insight check DC 16.

16. Hmm. All right. someone just cast Modify Memory on you Modify memory The frigates Holy shit

That's not what I can do But I think I'll do it anyway Just out of Shock and alarm I'll start playing my guitar And what this is Is counter charm As an action

I can perform until the end of my next turn During that time you and any friendly creatures Within 30 feet, excuse me gain advantage on saving throws against being frightened or charm. But I will definitely say, like, we need to get the fuck away from this crypt. That thing is full on here and looking to hate us. We got to get out of here. So I will, having said that, do my best to get over towards Blaine because we need to get through this room.

Okay. And I'm away from it, so I'm not getting any of this weird. transmission stuff, am I? Not yet. Oh, I don't like that yet. So could I go ahead and start moving, Dan? Do you want me to go in a bit? Yeah, well, while you start moving and keep telling me what you want to do,

do try to roll an Arcana check for me when you get a chance. Happy bet. Yeah, so my thought would be I would, one, two, definitely pressing myself against the wall. I want to stay as far away from this. Yeah, so basically, yeah, falling in with these guys. Yeah, almost like to make a point like staying away from that thing. And then you said, Arcana, three plus four, seven.

Yeah, you're not sure how this spell has been going down other than your, you know, your basic human player insight. Yeah, so let's go. Yes. All right. What are you doing? I'm sorry, I'm on the map. We're all like halfway through the room getting towards Blaine.

And what is Blaine doing? I'm petting my cat on my desk. I know, I still haven't heard a solid plan. I heard the beginnings of one. You asked what would happen if you tried to jump across the land and I told you, and I don't remember there being any further discussion. I'm going to cast fly on myself. Yeah.

Okay. I'm looking for, are there like footholds? that I could, you know, I mean, because I have cat scrambling, climbing abilities and stuff. You could scramble with very little difficulty, but there's not any easy footholds for someone who doesn't have cat-like agility. That's my cat chewing on my volume. No, don't do that, Dave. Huh.

Is that what that is? Oh, here we go. Oh, no. Little Peepers is going to cast levitate on himself. Are you going to fly across again? Yeah. Okay. Flam.

Blue. You do. Yeah, where you want to end up? How far? Well, it's my movement. It's 30, I think. Actually, I've bumped your token. So, I mean, how far can I go?

Can I go over next to the plane? I'll tell you what. Let's get things organized a little bit, since everyone seems to want to get out, but we are having such a loosey-goosey conversation about a role initiative, everybody. Oh, shit. And I will do a thing that I thought I would do a while ago,

but haven't really done, which is roll a sort of, like, environmental initiative. I have 11 plus 4.15. I think it's important for everybody to have their own environmental initiative. You know. As long as you've got one. Bay and AI.

Bay and AI, that's mine. 9 plus 2, 11. I rolled at 12. Never forget. True. Okay. So I got a 19 for the environment. Ken, you got 11?

Yeah. What did you get, Brian? 12, man. Great. Blaine, what'd you get? I had a 15. Stop chewing on everything. I'm talking to you, Dan.

What? Chris, what'd you get? 26. Whoa. All right. Someone needs fancy. We'll just have them both do the same page to save time. Okay.

Chris, you are up. All right. I'm getting... If I go 5.30. I can basically run up to the edge of the cliff. Are we calling it a cliff? Drop off, I guess.

It's a drop off, yeah. I can. Then go another. The idea is to try and get, what is this stuff sort of down here, Dan? Is this a clear path all the way through? No, you will have to smash.

I'm going to, I'll draw you some sort of like, penciled in roots that are the block off point and are sort of raised above the other roots. Because my idea is I can misty step with my fay ancestry. So, would run up to the edge of the drop-off. And then I think the, he would just glow a little purple and then appear 30 feet away.

So, like, could he, and is there a place to stand? Sort of. It's at a slope. It'll be a tricky stand. How far can he, like, I think my idea is I'll try and teleport in front of wherever the bramble is

and start hacking away at it, unless there isn't a place to stand, in which case? No, you can't, You can, but if you teleport in, it'll be a check to not turn your ankle. Not turn your ankle. All right. Well, then I'll do, I guess I'll do that.

All right. I guess we'll do that on our next episode of Nerd Poker. Soon I will be staying. You want to look at my new tabletop project? You can head to darkest whimsy.com, and you can follow me on the old backer kit in beginning of March. going to try to cover my LLC costs. So if anyone can chip in around then, it's going to be super rad. And yeah, tell your friends.

It's going to be fun. It's going to be a thing. It'll be in a studio that hopefully nerd poker can use some time. And it'll be near a stage in a gaming store that hopefully nerd poker can use some time. But I'm trying to organize everything. So it would be super helpful. That's all for me. Blaine, Chris, Ken, you got anything.

I'm going to be appearing at the battery in San Francisco on the 27th. Oh, nice. It's downtown near the Transamerican pyramid, so there's going to be lots of conspiracy stuff going on. Can I stop the battery? Yeah, a lot of... Battery is found in me.

You know the history, right? Hmm? Do you know the history of the battery? I know AA. Hock, HACO. No, well, no, Metallica calls themselves and their fans the battery. especially in the old days because that's where they started right right on that street on battery

of battery of Broadway and there's Cliff Burton has a plaque on Broadway right there that Kirk Hammett bought him years ago wow I had no idea battery is found in me battery is a great Metallica song about being a fan of them and being old school oh wow they love their San Francisco, like, crusty fans that have been into them for 40 years. Those guys get, like, most respect, you know. It's fantastic. Yeah.

You got to love San Francisco if you did time there. It's still my fave. Yeah. I love everywhere. I've been to prison, but that is one of those people. House and King, shout out. It's so good. Best Chinese food in the world.

The Chinese food. So I've got This is airing this week, right? This will drop in the next day or two Tonight. Yeah, okay, cool. Tonight. Awesome.

So this week, I'm finally back at stand-up. It's been a while. I'm at the Comedy Vault in Batavia, Illinois, this Thursday, Friday, Saturday with my good pal J.T. Habersat. Saturday first show is already sold out. I believe, but tickets still available for the other shows. And then I'm a Graham Cracker Comics in suburban Illinois this week on the 21st from 1 to 3.

I'll be signing really anything you bring me. But, you know, Deadpool, Deadpool and then grommets and rifters primarily. No, no, no, Ditz. Tits or shafts. He's a bad mother. Shut your mouth. I'm just talking about this. Tis or shafts.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Really, shafts and Pyroneum are the best places. That's where you can fit the most lines. So if you're not down, that's just the people should know. You're not really, like, given a lot of options except what wrist forearm? And then I've got more tour dates on Brian. Same.

We attribute the success. Saved Man calling from that. We're joining us on this episode. You got walls and a roof. Well, All the next nerd, poker. Welcome. Slide your club card.

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