Nerd Poker - The Fog Campaign - Episode 62

Episode Date: March 11, 2026

Just when you think you've made friends with some friendly vines who can pin down the haunted coffin, said coffin wiggles free and smashes open. This corpse must be a real jerk! For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Hey, it's Brian Possein. Nerd Poker. We're calling it... The Fog Campaign. My friends are here. Chris, Blaine, Ken, engineer Sam, and of course,

our kick-ass, DM, Dan Telfer. Welcome to Nerd Poker. Hey, everybody. It's Brian Pousain. And you're listening to Nerd Poker. It's episode 62 of the Fog Campaign, uh, where, uh,

we just like, 61, we're in Zoom. Everybody's here. Quick intros and we'll jump right in because we're mid-combat and having some fun here. Getting Joffrey's hip points down.

Brought to you by Pringle's Extreme. Chris is here. Hey, pal. Ken's here. Hi there. Blade. No, hi there. Oh.

And Dan. Hey, Brian, I just want to say it's a lot of fun to knock your hit points down, and I'm just so happy to hear that it's fun for you to also have your hit points on. The run of the shell, as always, from the cool part of town, everybody. It's Sam and special guest, Robin. Hello, sweet children. Ramen's downstairs, but he is here. Okay.

Yeah. Having some dog putteen. He is, yeah. How's you like him to ketchup chips? Ugh. He's died. Are you actually staying in at Tim Hortons? No, no, not.

I'm saying it Justin Trudeau's. How terrible is Tim Hortons, by the way? Hello. I've never had it. Oh, it's not good. What's the wrong of it? It's just, it's like crappy. Well, I mean, so is McDonald's.

No. This is the most upset Brian's ever been. I actually like Tim Hortons. I like, when I'm up there, I like their coffee. It's, you know, 7-Eleven coffee is not great also, but kind of great for what it is. And that's what it reminds me of. Yeah. Two Hornets has a great jingle too.

I'm sorry. What you have you don't like? I went there and had everything I had was terrible, so I just never went back again. I think it's just kind of, it's one of those fast-sweet places that we grew up on, but it's kind of meh. Like half the shit that's out there is meh. You know, any place where you can get fed in 10 minutes is not going to be amazing. Have you had the big arch? what is the big what is the big arch i have no idea it's a half pound

from macdonald oh okay it's like a yeah it's an upper upper oh i thought it was like bizarre oh i thought it was like bizarre oh i have so much fondness for the mcdl t anyway uh yeah the mcdl t was fucking perfect i know what happened i think it was too much work it was too much work yeah and and it was that a lot of star film. Oh, yeah. But it was true.

I worked at McDonald's when that was around, and it was a pain in the ass, but it was no fucking good burger. Oh, is it pain in the ass to prepare? Is it good? Well, just, it was, it added, you know. It's a, you do it happen to work. You're all the rest of the customer.

Yeah, you had place it all, right? And you know, a giant fucking stagophone thing. You know, and I miss Grillamol being near Los Angeles. Oh. Oh. That was such a better time of my life when Grillamol was just a truck that I could walk to or drive to, you know, now it's. Yeah. They're in Long Beach.

Jason Alexander asked for too much. Long. Altadina was closer. Like out to the old place felt close. Hot stays hot. He's like cool. There's a reason to be in Altadina. The LBC not as much.

Sorry, LBC. Sure. Yeah, I mean, I'm glad LBC could represent, represent, but they are a little too far. Let's, uh, we should probably thank some people. We should probably. Do we do that? I'm gonna.

Yeah. Why don't we? I'm gonna go ahead and. I'm gonna try to come up with some funny, uh, funny, uh, burger trucks based on heavy metal songs. Yeah, get to it. Like a bun for the hills.

Ha ha ha ha ha. An entry sandwich man. That's about it. All right. All right. Well, if I think people... It would sound a little like this. Hey, yeah, I know.

Trying to ignore bits on this show is truly the only thing I don't like about it. It's a part of the job description, unfortunately. You guys, I really appreciate it. You definitely have to be a substitute teacher sometimes with us. I know, right? Like, I'd be a straight man. You've ever met me. Like, I can do a decent.

and straight man, but I'm much more of a dork than I like I like a And you have to tell drugs to shut the fuck up Mr. Possein says we could play Nintendo Switch Oh boy, boy, Mr. Possein What have you done to this classroom? Thank you to folks at our top two tiers of support who have Usernames like Corpus Callisum. Thank you, Corpus Callisum.

Thank you James Amarando. Thank you, the fake Vince. Thank you, Brian Austin Powers. Austin Powers impression, aka TikTok's downstairs mix-up. Brian, I believe that's a reference to when you say

something about making you horny baby. You make me horny baby. It's almost too casual. Thank you. The Wizard, somnambulence. Thank you four sewer gators, three shitter squirrels, two bidet badgers,

and a big rat in a Trine. Thank you, Mr. Rat Attorney, legal counsel for the defamation of sewer rats, sewer rats v. Garto. Is it that all the sewer ride jokes are next to each other, or is it that all of our supporters are sewer rat jokes? Thank you, Glenn Sugden. Thank you, Immovable Rod, Stuart, aka Aternam Dave. Thank you, Bob Underdunk. Thank you, Brian Stop. Thank you, Beasel Betty. Thank you, Eric Payne. Thank you, Flea 47 on TikTok with the D&D Pro Tips. Thank you, A gorilla. Thank you, Douglas Calabrese, and finally, thank you, Sierra Misty Step. Blaine, who are those supporters brought to us by?

Spores brought to us by Trader Joe's Wicker Bedsheets. Keeps your house guests to one night only. Wicker bedsheets from Trader Joe's, Contor and Flat. B's not included. Dan? Thank you, Blaine. I believe that means it is time to head on over to what happened last time on Nerd Boger. Our heroes were in the middle of the fight.

That's right, I didn't do this last episode. But you guys were fighting a bunch of mushroom folk and you slew them all, except for one problem. As you were exiting a room in the northeast corner of the undercity donjon, a coffin with some sort of mind-commuting creature had sort of rocked its way back and forth to the edge of a cliff and threw itself all. So you guys, I'm going to say, are going to have a chance to do something about it as it teeters on the edge of the cliff. But it is almost certainly going to fall. I am going to have it roll initiative.

And just because it's still possible, this thing's not going to crack open. I'm going to not use its D&D Beyond sheet for initiative and hide its identity just one more time as it rolls initiative. But let's see if it even makes it out. Let's see if it's got an 11. So it's going to be it's in bottom of the turn order, actually. You guys all rolled pretty high on these. So the bottom is Ken, and it's got a lower decks than Ken.

So Chris, you're up. Oh, here we go. Come a knocking. I'm going to draw it. Yeah. So you can see where it was originally placed because it's a part of the actual map. It has gone from here

to about here. It's not the best. Let me see, can I undo that yet? I can do a little more of a approximation of the right size. So it's got its edge and try to draw a little bit of the dotted line of where the edge of the cliff is. Okay.

As it's rocking. Plop off the edge of that. going to and again, where is it just on the map? It's like a 10 foot long rectangle Is it sort of on that upper ledge There's about a 10 foot drop off of this mini cliff Into the slime

It is teetering on the edge And it's sort of like in the northeast corner of the room Which is a little far from where you guys blew that hole open in the roots Apologies to Questlove Oh, oh, okay, interesting. Yeah, that sounds like exactly what it's doing. I'm going to

try something. I'm going to strum my loot and cast plant growth. Okay, and you're trying to do it specifically to stop

it from teetering our age. Using an action, choose a point within range. I guess I'm going to pick sort of beneath the coffin. Yeah, and you know what? All normal plants

on a hundred feet radius and at a point becomes thick and overgrowth. A creature moving through the area on its turn specifically to try to overcome that. So basically, I don't know if it can. So I'm going to say, will you do a nature check? So because it's rocking and stuff like that,

I'm hoping that the plant growth at least momentarily sort of, no, well, you know, it's not immobilizes it. It's not part of the spell, but maybe while you were growing the plants with your song or attack people want to get them to grow in a way that would particularly stop this thing tipping over, but with a five, alas. And yeah, I want to like try and secure it where it is to the best of my, you know, plant ability. Great. Okay. A nature check. I'm not good at nature.

Five. All right. So then having cast that, I'm going to use my move. I try to draw some plants on the cliff to represent that. And then I want to try and jump across the thing. All right. So if I go one to, two, my moon is used to be up next. They're not.

It's point. My movement, my long jump should carry me 12 feet, which in theory then carries me. The thing that I did the last time I was in the room. Across there. Which is a kind of run. But that would be it for me movement-wise. So basically I would cast that in attempt to try and whatever, Hail Mary, hold off that coffin for a second.

And then I run across the roots and jump over, I guess, the shortest part of the slime river. Like one in them, like one in them, most. So hopefully I can make my way back down to Kent. I was chopping through the wall. All right. Does that make sense? It does. And I think you can get farther.

Can you dash anymore? I can I can dash. If you wanted to. And if you dash too much, you would leave your friends behind. Just as a quick heads up. Yeah, my walking speed, 30 feet, I have a climbing speed equal to my walking speed. 30. Okay.

There's also Men Without Hats joke I was attempting to make. Is that one of the weirdest jokes I could have made a network? No, it wasn't divorced. I ain't much enjoyed it. Like Prince of Persia. Thank you, Ken. I was silently laughing to myself.

Just like my stand-up audiences. Any thing else for your turnbling? That's it, thank you. Great. Up next is Little Peepers. He's going to try to get out of his stunned condition from the spores from one of myconids were attacking. having a rough go

he is still stunned he rolls in eight up next is glug who's going to book it uh no pizza personal pan for him but he is going to run out of the room and then followed by giggle the

mage priest who is going to climb down not get quite as far uh and then That's the NPC's term.

Brian, you're up. Okay. Everyone's vacating the room. Lil Peeper is still stunned. Are the bad guys vacating the room, too? All the bad guys are dead except for the coffin trying to wiggle its way off the cliff and smash open. Oh, so we're all just kind of running.

Anybody need help? Stunny. Is he one of ours? Yeah. That's it. Okay. Elephant guy. Okay.

And I'll grab him. Okay. I think you might have enough movement. Yep. You can get right up to them and grab them. You don't have any more movement after you do that. You're going to just sort of be putting them under your arm. Okay.

Well, I would say I can scoot. I'll scoot. Cool. Although, wait, if you, if that's your, you could, I think you can dash. You're just not going to get a ton of movement. So if you use your action. And bonus action, yeah. Yeah, and your bonus action.

So that's what, another 60 feet in addition of the 30 feet. That's what I'll do. That one guy behind me is parallel. You can grab him and your movement speeds half because you have a small elephant on your arm. Little peepers. But he has, he's got a real Moodang vibe in this moment, though. And he's going to kind of get you, because you can, you know, dash twice with your cunning action thing. you can get all the way down to here.

If you dash twice, it's like dashing once, which is still a lot. And you get him out of the room, which is very, very good for him because he was not a great place. You leave him alone in the collapsing murder coffin room that can read people's minds and command them. What's the worst that could happen? Okay. And Ken, you're out.

I'm going to Sorceriously Burst the Exit Is it Easter? Okay, you are down there Let's roll the burst All right

Let's go Slide into first Slide into first Let's see Okay plus eight D-do do I got a What the fuck?

A ten Oh, wuff. Yeah, you're going to just... It's a spell attack, right? Bonus. Yeah. Yeah, that's going... It's going to singe the stones.

Stones are hard to break as it is, but... Yeah. Doesn't quite do much damage. Oh, the shame of it. Chris, you're up. He is. I would just throw in there, so listeners, you can't see this,

but the sorcerer is... It's like a, he's in the passageway between the last room and this room where you guys ripped open a hole and the root system. And that little passage itself is about 25 feet long, right? You can kind of tell. And that's just like a little rectangle between the two rooms on the map. I drew where you smashed open with some lines. That does not mean that is the given threshold, if that makes sense. That is where there used to be a growing up.

It seems like everybody's coming. Is the sorcerer, the fish sorcerer? He's still kind of in the threshold. There is room in the doorway, another 10 feet behind him. Okay. Are you thinking of what I think you're thinking? Okay. Well, I think you might want to do something.

Is it Arby's? If he's on his way out, you might be looking to do something with the room. Okay. He's following out, yeah. He's coming out. If you get closer, you'll hit him. with it. But right now you're just uttering. Yeah, there you go. I don't know what you're thinking, Dan.

Great. No, I just wanted to make sure he's... I look back and see everybody. He's still, he's like 10, 15 feet behind them, but he's coming. Great. So as an action, I'm going to counter charm. Okay. Well, I'm going to... I perform until the end of my next turn during the time, and I'm any friendly creatures within 30. gain advantage on saving throws against being frightened or charmed. I don't know if that's going to help with that guy, but that is my hope. Yep, I will.

Is that stone? Great. Yeah, so, I mean, what's your passive insight, Blaine? I know he's not there yet, but. Oh, that's fantastic. Yeah, man, fire versus stone ain't going to do much. It's probably going to need something conclusive to smash through. which leaves you with a couple of different damage options

but probably like fire ice those might be able to do damage but you probably have to crit to do damage could I have this bloodshed blade I could do a constitution damage what let me pull that sucker up

why did I give that to you that sounds ridiculous there's no lot of constitution damage that sounds like something they'd say on stranger things. I do constitution damage. Okay, writer. There's some sort of a thing where I can't even remember what it is. I can't even remember what it is.

I add hit dice to an attack and I add hit dice to the damage once a day. Breaking of walling. Oh. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yes. You add your constitution modifier to damage rolls.

Okay. Okay. That makes sense. But would I think that a magic sword is going to do any damage? Can I use it to just kind of like maybe jam or pick at this at the wall? Let's see. What? I'm going to look at your sheet. I'm guessing it's slashing damage, but it is a short sword. So it might be piercing damage. I forget what the difference is in D&D, but as someone who took Society of American Fight Director's classes in college,

a short sword is more of a needle thing you poke things with and seems like piercing damage in my head. But my short sort I think it takes away your hit dice. At least when you look at it and say Baldur's Gate and you can see it and looks a little more, yeah. Slashy blood. So where are where's your character sheet here?

Sam Spade? You know what? I think I'm just going to I'm just going to say fuck it and I'm going to hit it with a chromatic orb. That sounds great. And I can do thunder damage for that. Oh, there you go.

It is, I'm verifying piercing damage, which are not good on stone. Okay. Okay, so I'm going to do a little, I'm going to hit it with a thunder. Great. Thunder is definitely what I'm talking about. Okay. Not to spoil it. Ranged spell attack.

Great. Let's roll it. Inamid objects do have an AC. Okay, so 15 plus 6. Oh, there's your hit. Yeah, it's a hit. Roll some damage. And that is...

How come his works in my dozen? Like that I stink. 3D8. Woo-hoo. Eight and seven, 15. 15 points. Great. Excellent.

And it only happens when it's raining. And also... And also... And also... Oh. Also some misery pours down when you, yeah. But no, you smash it with your thunder. And it kind of rattles a bit.

A lot of the rocks fall down. You feel like you actually did about a quarter to half of the work you would need to do. You can't see the other side. So who's to say? Um, listeners, I found, of course, a version of inanimate objects and what their different ACs are. Uh, if anyone is curious, that you cloth, paper rope has 11, iron and steel has 19. Crystal glass ice has 13. Mithril 21, wooden bone, 15, adamantine, 23, stone 17.

I'm looking for 17. So, um, okay. Interesting. Wow. Yeah. Yep. People, thank goodness, do that work for you. And that is on page 247 of the Dungeon Master's Guide.

What's a page? Oh, a page is what we used to have before the collapse. There's also a thing called television. Before the grid went down, we had this thing called television. It was really exciting stuff. We did stand up on it. I used to use it to watch Blansky's beauties. Hachimachi.

that's from a cartoon called The Critic. All right. So if that is your turn of next is Lil Peepers, Little Peepers is under Brian's arm right now. He's going to try to wiggle his, he haltingly would say to you, Brian, oh, thank you. And he's going to try to get out of this state of stun.

And he does, thank goodness, finally wakes up and he kind of wiggles out from underneath your armpit, Brian, and says, oh, thank you kindly. that will do it for his turn though because he has to do that at the end of his turn after there's pretty much nothing else he can do glug is going to book it the fuck out of there he does not like what's happening behind him we're making our way through uh you guys also are not eyes on the room so i had uh unseen

to your eyes something happening with whatever's in that coffin and it's initiative role at the bottom. You don't know what it was. Brian, you're up. And you know, I would say like all the NPCs at this point are like, move, move. Oh shit. What the fuck was in that coffin? Well, what else is everybody in their weird voice?

What can we do? Close the exit or come get away from it. Yeah, like Ken and Blaine have been working on the stone and Blaine found a weakness. So if you have anything that can do This sort of concussive damage on the rock wall You could ship in there, but you could also, I don't know, just like run Well, I can fire bolt it, yeah You could fire bolt it. I did I did just warn the fellas that that would not work against the stone very well

Okay, never mind Uh Yeah, the flight Hey Yep Okay, well, I've still got it, but is the guy still under my arm or? No, he wiggled out from under and said thank you. Okay, cool. I heard that. Yeah.

It was all very adorable. Yes. You can get, if you do the double dash thing again, which by the way, I'm trying to get away from that guy. I miss it on Nickelodeon. If you do the double dash, you can get pretty much all the way across the room. So if you use your action, then your bonus action. Okay. Can I just get?

Yeah, let's do that. Again, athletics, check, just to see. Mm-hmm. You can climb. Can't screen the wall? Did you see scream seven? No. I've heard nothing but bad things about it.

I saw Send Help finally. Oh, so good. That was fun. To enjoy it? That's good. Yeah, loved it. That last line,

I was like, Foof. Sam Ramey at his, yeah. That's the movie that I think was, like it was so good. Blaine,

if you see it? We all wanted him to make that movie. I've not seen it yet. It's so fun. It's, You haven't had that much fun in the theater in a while. Like, it's a blast. Watching other people's...

I was a fuck that Wuthering Heights popcorn bucket. Well, yeah, other people's reactions to, like, when you fuck that popcorn bucket, that's part of the fun is, like, people reacting to gore all around you. But, oh, my God, you really do. Yeah, yeah. There's some classic Sam Ramey moments, but done with an $80 million budget. You're really like, oh, hello. Amazing.

And it really is like when you were watching Army of Darkness and going, oh, if he's famous now, I hope he gets to do one of these with a lot of money. That's exactly what he finally does after 30 years. Yeah. It's all up on the screen. It's so fucking fun and good. Yeah. So smart, so fast. What did I roll?

No one knows. Athletics check, but let me see if it's in the group. Went away. Bing Madude. Yeah. there's always the game log which I have so many tabs open I forget to look in but it is probably

no it's not there if you could do that one more time Brian I do have your character sheet up and know your athletics bonus is a three nice there you go I did okay 27 yeah ha ha ha ha ha so yeah you just effortlessly rip across the wall as you climb up on it

and dash across the room and then it's going to be Ken. Ah, yes. Let me do some more thunder on that, fucker. Okay. Roll the thunder. Spell attack, I assume. Unless it's a savings throw,

which we deal with that a little differently down in these parts. Okay, that's 23. That's a hit. Roll that damn. Damme-da-dam, damn, damn. Okay, that will be 1D8, under damage. Okay.

D.A. Do do do. Do do. Do do. Do do. Three. Okay. Three points of damn.

You do knock a few rocks off of it. It's not nothing. God damn. All right. Cool. Nobody pay attention to the stuff that I am doing with the arrow. Uh-oh.

Uh-huh. And then it's so there. Everybody do a perception check, please. Oh, boy. 13 plus 10, 23. Oh. 18. Uh, 17 plus 3. 20.

Oh, my. Chris. Who. Brian, what you get in that perception check? 18. Wow, well, you guys all did pretty well. You're all going to hear just a thud and a crunch in the room you came from. It sounds like rock breaking against rock.

Oh. Chris, you're up. 24. Sounds great. Blaine, you're up. Let's see. Oh, me again? Yep.

Hi. You know what? I guess I'm just going to cast a chromatic warp under a game. there at first level all right so I will take a step to the 15 plus 7 23 which I think then puts the people down at the wall Brian now I got another five feet I'm going to step a little closer towards my friends of the southward trying to charm to the wall so that they're within the range of my counter charm and three ones all three eight sides will move closer so I'm going to do that counter charm action again, Dan.

Yeah, it's like a... I have my jewelers loop on. That was totally worth it. Totally worth it, you guys. Excellent. Well, you've got a lot of the rock stun overall. That's really going to, like, take another chunk off, but there's still a bit left.

Little Peepers would be up then, if you're done with your turn. Yeah, it's going to be. Okay. So he is going to be like, ho, ho, ho. Let's definitely get out of the dodge. So careful. Run 30. Like archaeologists.

We want to bury it. He's going to, again, celebrate Nickelodeon classic double dash and run over towards Brian. I'm just going to see. He kind of doesn't need to do it twice. So he would potentially not run as far if he has something. he doesn't have a lot of spells but he does have three of them he is a little elephant maybe he can just

runs along to a do a bowling ball sadly this is when him having a parent that was a halfling kind of makes that a little less helpful but he does as an action

and nothing happens This truck blows up. He's got a hell of the carc, crack. Yeah. Oh, no, not on a plane. It doesn't look like he's got a spell that he can use. So he's just going to get as close to everyone else on the south of the room as he can. Actually, wait, hang on.

He's not helpless. All right, he's going to take out his crowbar and just try to smash his way through. Crowbar? That's handy. It's not going to do much. It's a plus zero to hit. But. Yeah, he's going to

Goat Load up his trunk with the It's fun to see a little elephant Take out a crowbar and hit the wall Up next is going to be The Fishfolk Glug The Barbarian

Definitely doesn't have a thing that's going to, you know, smashy smash with a bludgeon or some such thing But Gickel is going to float over the slime and he has a staff that I think can fuck it up. Or at least a couple PAs. Hmm. No, it's lightning damage. What is his destructive wave?

Consave for thunder damage. I think he could try that. It would just be a spell attack. because it's an inanimate object. So his bonus to a spell attack. It's a four. Yep, he's going to try to smash it with a wave of thunder, and it just doesn't quite do damage.

Brian, you're up. Four. You think, you know, you got a lot of the way through this wall, based on the map, suggesting it's not an endless wall of stone, but it is stone and you've been chipping away at it. Not sure you have an object that will help in this moment, but you do know that there is a very unpleasant tomb smashing against rock kind of sound that happened to the rim to the north.

Oh, that thing fell over probably. Okay. You know how it is. I'm trying to see if you have stuff that'll bludgeon or, you know, like, You have a crowbar like your friend here, if you just want to, like, crack heavy against the wall. I don't think you have, like, a weapon that's blunt damage. Oh, what about the Admanteam javelin? Yeah.

Um, well, the good news is that it's, it's, um, it's able to do damage because it's made of Adamantian, but it is still piercing damage. So you can absolutely roll and it is possible you will hit that it is going to be with disadvantage. Yeah. Oh, excuse me, I'm full of shit. It's the opposite of the bad thing I said.

I said a bad thing. It's a good thing. I didn't read the fine print on this. That's right. That's the last line. And I think maybe this came up when you entered and you had to hit that edifice gargoyle thing. But yeah, man.

You want to smash it with your javelin. Go smash it. Creak of shit. Okay. Not quite a hit, unfortunately. But I love that it was an option. Okay. You know, you just kind of sticks between the stones.

But boy, four away and you would have instacrited and that would have been fun. Yeah, I'm going to add something about this. That's great. Man, I give you such a cool thing. Whenever this weapon or piece of ammunition hits an object. That's going to be Ken. It's a critical. Yeah, back to the fucking sorcerer's burst.

All right. Well. That's a rolling the dice and it never showed up. Oh. I did it again just to be safe. 16. Oh, 17. I don't know, which is 16.

Oh, seven. Wait, is it a 17? That's very important. Well, I rolled again because it wasn't showing up. Oh, I see. I said, okay, okay. Sadly, 17 is what you needed. So that would be a mess.

God damn it. I'm going to just take a nap in the corner. Okay. Well, I hope that goes well for you. I'm seeing how much time we have left. I'm not sure. I asked Sam over chat, but he did not respond. I have on my quick time, it's been going 55 minutes, but I can't remember if I started recording before we... Okay, good, good, good. You're 15 minutes left. Great, great, great.

So we fit a lot of, a lot of, a lot of fat to cut. at the beginning of this one, but thank you, Sam. So you guys will all want to roll a perception check. 15. Should have gone with the passive. 8. 17. What you got, Brian?

17, sorry. Yeah, you guys don't notice much. Chris, you're up. It was way late. Yeah, we're like 40 minutes. 15. Okay. Okay. Sounds good. So you see something, you'll say something. I'm hoping that my plant growth is still slowing this fucking thing down. I'm going to, yeah, I guess I'm going to

move down with the gang. I don't have a crow bar or anything like that. I have baggers. That's it. I'm going to, I'm going to, hold an attack. Roll a D-1-100 place. I'm going to keep my eyes back here on like the room where the... Sorry, my dogs are going to... It explodes in a bunch of rubble that is already on the ground, as opposed to the rock you want to smash through,

kind of like flies everywhere and smacks little peepers in the face. It doesn't do damage, but almost it. I got it, it's cool I guess I won't hit this with a crowbar if you're gonna be fucking around like that some real fuckery and that'll do it for your turn

apparently so yes okay he will have a lot of fun with my chromatic warbs he will little Peepers will be up and he is actually going to try to smashy with the crowbar he was being smar me

oh that's a hit okay uh three points of damage. He ducks some chunks of rock off. It's not doing much. He goes, son of a shit. And then Glug is just going to do what Chris is doing. Stand kind of right there

and ready himself for an attack. Gickle is going to get a little closer and cast a destructive wave again. And that's not going to do damage this time. It'll just rattle the wall. Brian, you want to Adamantine stab

the wall? Yeah. Roll to stab. 15 hit or now? That's a 17 needed, unfortunately. But are we looking at multiple attacks with you? I always forget what everyone's doing. Your potential, no, one attack per action, unfortunately. Yeah, yeah.

I think that might be all I know that you can do unless you have another idea, sir. Maybe next time I can get Chris too, Oh yeah support me mentally sing them a song you are the piano man

All right so It sounds like If somebody has extra health being around at some point I can use some But I'm not dying But we all need it right Get through this thing and maybe hole up Yeah I have a great idea

I think I'm going to cast The sorcerers burst At the wall Okay Right, it's not open yet Oh, God Here it is That's a hit

That's 25 Let's see how much damage I do Oh Negative Yeah One more part of desperation Okay Yeah

Oh God Yeah, yeah Yeah, we're all gonna two points of damage I have great news the rock shatters you see chunks of stone fly around

it's not a great sized opening but you do think that everyone on their turn would be able to try to squeeze through thanks to me all the MPCs throw their hands up and give you a Homer Simpson woohoo and yeah I shrink back into the hedges

I don't know what you're trying to avoid Something evil coming towards you from the other room perhaps It's a Homer Simpson meme Oh I see Well you know I support the meme That's actually the meme I probably quote the most often And that's going to bring us to the mystery thing At the end of the turn order

Oh I don't like that I am Okay let's see I hope it's a musical guest Can I get a Dexterity Savings Row From Ken Oh dear

No Yeah He's got I think pretty good decks What is it? Oh yeah Right Okay I saw your spine open for A

Hey Pampapapapap That's an eight All right You guys See this rocket of grayish silver energy shoot

from the room you just came from and smash into Shalab's back for a limited time. I mean, you guys don't have a good line of sight on it. If you are turning around, I guess I can let you guys

I'll do a perception check. If you do a perception check, but it's like I said, not not the greatest line of sight. So, oh, well, here, I'll show you, like, with the ruler. So, like, you guys are, I have you kind of like there. And so it would be about 90 feet back right here that you're trying to see. Yeah.

Like, Gickle can't even see it. Oh, you'll see it. Okay. It looks like I can be a lot point to impose disadvantage on. the role of the creature attacking me. Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho. Yeah, I think we're looking at a eye, keeping an eye on the back doorway.

That applies to a saving throw, that's what we're saying? When a creature rolls a D20 for an attack roll against you, you can spend one lucky way to impose disadvantage on that roll. That is sadly not what happened. You are getting hit with disintegrate. And you didn't have to roll for that? It's just a separate. It's a dexterity saving.

got it okay well then i can then i'll try and make my saving 20 you can i believe to use the like plane to do that it's just a different category yeah all right do i mean why not right i mean i think i just told you we're going to get tickled as a spell so i don't know why i'm making a deal about it nice yeah you're gonna make that hoof so this it's it's going to miss yes okay Yes. And so anyone who saw who rolled an 18 or higher in the perception, I didn't hear everybody, but let's keep it moving. This definitely includes Chris who rolled a 20.

You see that there is some sort of rotting gray corpse floating about 90 feet away in the room you're coming from. I don't like rotting corpse or floating. No. Go for it. What would you like to do, Chris? And then, Dan, okay. After you've cleared that up, I wanted to try and take it. Fireball or Firebolt?

Attack on shooting that guy. Okay. I got very excited for you. That is a hit. Yeah, it kills it, right? I don't like that at all. Great. I'm going to, I guess I'm just going to shoot it with Fireball.

And I believe Glute was also holding his action. Fire Bolt. My mistake. Sorry. So it is a last little like, you know, throw only javelin off his back and chuck it at the doorway. To hit? It's not coming up. How bizarre?

Oh, that's a hit. 18 to hit. Great. So it does 2D10 fire damage for a total of eight points of fire damage. Where is the? And I'll obviously hollered. I'll holler, everybody. floating zombie monster.

All right. Eight points of piercing damage. And that is its turn. Chris, it's your turn again. 14's a mess. Okay. Unknown delights indeed.

Would you be trying to identify it on the way out? Would you give it like a stern? I think first what I will do is fire another fire bolt at it. Take a shot before I try to get through. So first I'll fire a firebolt.

let you do either a history or our team to hit. Okay. And then I will try and use my moving and go one, two, two, yeah, it was difficult to tell because its body was falling apart. But you do feel like there's maybe something about the specific spells of deciding that could reveal what you're dealing with. Exactly. Shout to like,

Geronimo! As I leap through the hole in the wall to unknown. Dwayne. I can wait for it to fuck some zombies. Yeah. I'm going to do the same thing, Chris did. I'm going to shoot a firebolt at it and then duck through the hole. Great.

Roll this shooting duck. Looking back, I fired two firebolts. I don't think they're probably trying to see what it is. That's a hit. 2D10. Oh, my God, 18. Then I'm zipping. Plus four to Arcana.

Only roll an eight, so it's a 12. You hit whatever that floating creep is. Zip through the hole. I see you've moved your turn. token, you can go farther than that. He is 30 feet. Yeah, I'll reiterate to everybody. Guys, that is for sure.

So, sort of floating. Little Peepers is up. Fucker. He is just going to straight up run through the hole. Can you blame? No. He's going to be like, oh, no, thank you.

And so are the fish folk. Brian, you're up. All right. Nice. What a. What's the recommendation here? Everyone's diving through the hole. Would you like to dive through the hole?

Yes. Quickly. So. Watch we go. Athletics, uh, stealth. Uh, no. You're, you're able to just kind of get through it.

So everybody is going to be able to get on the other side. And then Ken, you're up. Gonna do another, uh, sorcerer's burst this time. Uh, lightning. I don't think I'm short-changing. Brian, I don't know if he has. I mean, you have a short bow. I guess you could fire on your way out, Brian.

Okay, at what? At the creature in the room behind you. Just like, as you're running out, you can fire your short bow. Uh-oh. Because. Could you roll a D-100, please, Brian? Is that a one? Oh, it is.

Yes, shit. Oh, dear. And let me know how that sorcerer, uh, source or burst went through Ken. Ah, that is, let's see. That's a 25 to hit. Well, that's a hit. And then the damage is 2 to 8.

Oh, 65. Oh, no. And how much damage, Ken? Eight points of damage. Okay, the burst is going to smash into it, yeah. And ditching through the hole. Cool. 65, unfortunately.

You're going to sprain a shoulder and take 1D8 to damage. Oh. You're going to have disadvantage on your next physical attack. Can I cast massage? It's going to be 10 points of sprain damage. Force damage, we'll call it. Oochie. Indeed, Uchi, Uchi, Uch.

And then... 10 points of sprain damage. Force damage. And then... Great movies. As this all occurs, it's going to float closer in the room. Nobody's really looking through the hole, right?

Right. No. All right. Well, I can tell you this much. It's moving closer. It can... cannot see you, but it knows where you went. And we'll have to find out what happens.

All right. That's, that's lower green, going to be the cliffhanger. Cliffhanger, uh, yo, check out darkest whimsy.com. Anyone else got plugs before we do the big Brian plugs. That's good.

I've got a tour dates, Brian Persangin.com. Um, I've got Toledo. coming up for a convention on a Sunday. And I'll also be, it's a great Falls, Montana. I always wish that I get the names of these cities, right?

When I say I'm playing there. So it at least seems like my heart's in the right place. But, you know. Things have weird names. Yeah. Grabbson.com. Blame. We attribute the success.

Save mankind. for joining us on this episode you got walls and a roof well all the next nerd poker it's nerd poker mailbag dear nerd poker how do you tell alligators and crocodiles apart do crocodiles have the narrower snout or is it the alligators i forget please hurry one of them has a hold of my husband's leg and is rolling them over and over and over in a swamp an animal control said they won't send anyone until they know exactly which one it is. Please hurry. Please help.

We'll have your answer after our three-week hiatus on an all-new nerd poker. Thanks for listening to another episode of NerdPoker. You can follow us at patreon.com slash nerd poker, and you get bonus episodes from there. And you can also send us anything at P.O. Box 1069, Encino, California, 911, 1616. Thanks for listening.