Nerd Poker - The Fog Campaign - Episode 64

Episode Date: March 25, 2026

A glorious return to Brian's house, as we deal with the lich flayer and... The Bride! Okay it's not officially the undead mind flayer's spouse, but it's fun to pretend it is. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com

Hey, it's Brian Possein. Nerd Poker. We're calling it. The Svald Campaign. My friends are here. Chris, Blaine, Ken, engineer Sam, and of course,

our kick-ass DM, Dan Telfer. Welcome to Nerd Poker. Hey, everybody. It's Brian Toussaint. You're listening to Nerd Poker. Episode 64. We're back at my house where I live with my family.

And all my friends are here. It's a word fog campaign. And, uh, let's go quick. Uh, Chris. Hi, Brian. Happy to breathe the same air. Yeah. Okay.

Hey, my, oh, yeah. Oh, damn. Mm, this air is so good. Oh, no. Blaine. You're right. And running the show from, uh, the cool part of my table.

Sam, that was a little. Hello, sweet children. Oh, okay. Let's thank some people and get right back into the shit. Thanks to everybody who supports the show, especially if you had to Patreon.com slash nerd poker, and you can support the show in a way that keeps it going with Munai. That's money.

That's how we say money on the West Coast. We call it Munai. Hey, thank you in particular to Saganaado. I know you. Thank you. That time, I slipped Brian at 20 at the Mr. show reboot filming and did get my shout out don't be a dick thank you a helpful pharmacy vampire i stay up all night to help you my employer feeds on your life force okay there's three in a

row that are like whole sentences thank you all the patrons i support are so confused right now thank you big fan nice guy thank you sweet heat and the sour cherry provider Thank you, Rando Cardrician. Thank you. I have some back in my house still. Does anyone else still have some? Wasn't it recalled? Oh, it sure was.

Yeah. It ate through my floor. I'm keeping it in case someone breaks into the house. I'm gonna just throw it at them. Like beads of force. Yeah, it's like pepper bullets that you don't have to shoot at a high velocity. They just burn right through their skin. Thank you.

Yukon Corniglia. Thank you, Kaylee, J. McPhail. Thank you, Eric Ewald. Thank you, Jack Guleck. Jamie Swedler. And finally, thank you. Sits on Griswold's bone. What the hell? I can't tell if that's like a National Lampoon's joke. Sits on Brian's Balls are on joke or both. Who are the supporters brought to us by?

Spores brought to us by Costco. Get there early. It's still crowded. Get there on a weekday. It's still crowded. Get there the day after a holiday. It's still crowded. It's always black. Friday at Costco. Dan, thanks, Blaine. Oh, Costco bought Paramount. Anyhow, no. Let's talk about Paramount in bulk. Oh, no, that is bad. I just got my tires at Costco today, by the way. Did you? Yeah, very, very effective and cheap. Nice. Yeah. Did you do that thing where you slide the hot dog inside and then it's like extra delicious? Yeah, it's inflated with hot dogs. My tires are full hot dogs. It smells, It smells great.

Brian likes hot dogs, you guys. I got my tires. She was a Paramount. Paramount tires. Yeah, I got Paramount tires. They're long more themes. Brian likes hot dogs still. You know, long more.

I'm going to do a long more joke while people talk over it. Hi, everybody. Let's talk about what happened last time on nerd poker. Everybody killed an undead mind flare. And, uh-oh. Its wife is coming to this. Oh, no. Fred.

We are, of course, in the undercity heading towards what hopefully is the final boss, but these fucking undead mind flares, seriously. All right, so we are little peepers in the turn order. Anyone know what the official name of these are called? Or should I tell you? What? They're called Al Hoons. I beg your pardon.

Yeah. This one has a rolling pin. It has chili on my shelf. Al Hoos is chili. Right? It'll burn through your brain! I think I have Al Hoon's rookie card. Was that the second owner of Al's Unhappy Days?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I really don't like what he did with the place. Just this brain floating and brine in the kitchen. Wasn't that first guy, Asian? Yeah, it was Pat Barreta. He had a Lexington and Karate Kid. His license plate on his Trans Am was Arno Car because he was Arnold. And then Scott Bayo burned it down by leaving his apron on the grill.

I remember that. And he sat in his trailer and smoked pot all day. Does I ever tell you that? Oh, my God, yes. A little comic, yeah. That's amazing. When I was on the road and I was listening to the radio on Scott Bayo, was like a guest DJ on 80s on 8.

And he told the story about when the go-goes were like 18 years old and knocked on his front door with a birthday cake for him. And he hid in the basement. Oh, good. And the way he told the story was like, was a really funny story about how he was afraid of girls. Oh. How he hid in the basement.

That never changed. He also was trying to talk about, like, how great he was. And, like, it was, like, it was really smart that he hid in the basement because if people come to your house, if pretty girls come to your house with a cake, you should hide. If you're famous, like Scott Bayo, they want to stab you. Yeah, you would hate to be that dude that fucked the go-goes. I'd still be high-fiving my high school. I would encase myself.

blue side if I did that. He's the dumbest person. Yeah. Yeah. He's really come a long way, though, hasn't he? And towards further brain rock. Scott Bay is going to get away. Scott Bay is got a getaway.

Scott Bay is got a guy. Just think of all the people that he could have had happy times with. Oh, he made up for it. Yeah, he sure did. He's great. Anyhow. Well, Joni loved it. Stop playing with this dialect.

It's not things we use for Dungeons and Dragons and actually roll one. Little Peepers is going to miss. And Little Peepers is going to miss. It's trying to fire a crossbow bolt down the hallway. Next in the turn order is anyone but can. Ken, you're banned from the game. I've just decided that recently...

What did they do wrong? I just sort of have been listening to my heart, and my heart tells me to just accidentally skip your turn over and over. No, it's not your turn, but I would like to apologize for that ongoing issue last time. All is forgiven. Is it? Hmm. Oh. Well.

Yeah. Why can't I'm trying to find little peepers. Just right here. With a hat. No, no. He's a nitty, you silly goose. Yeah, it was an elephant guy. He's adorable.

Where? Oh, it's, I'm looking at one place. He's got a banana in one hand. Sam. I haven't been taking pictures for the... And like a glove in the other. Sam. Hi.

Hi. I like this little guy. He's great. So what he does is... I sure hope he doesn't die soon. As a pick pocket, I forget if he did it during this campaign, he steals people's coin purses and replaces it with a banana. Nice.

I don't smell bananas. That was like me on Sarah Silver, Michelle. What a banana. cop The cop's gun and put a banana in the banana in it. Banana cop Do do,

do, da, banana cop. Two, do, do, do de, do de,

do de, to do de, to do de, do it. I can't talk about it. Anyway, yeah, that's what I thought.

You know, I got out of my car once. I was going to UCB, and I parked, and I got out of my car and I slipped on something and I was like, oh, it has weird viscosity. I hope it's not poop. It was a banana peel. Yay.

And then the Keystone cops skidded around the corner. Or she were like three 10-year-old kids dying. Yeah, they were all in a tree. And one of them had a big black ring around his eyes and looking into a bus exhaust. Putting a fishing line on a $1 bill. well what a great time brian you're up san francisco that'd be a bag of poop not a banana yeah it would be all all shit in san francisco

i'd be just human poop same viscosity san francisco every sidewalk is just covered and i'm not saying it's now i lived there 40 years ago it was like that i remember we were all walking up to uh laura milligan apartment up on Russian Hill, that really beautiful place. It was like a Bondville place. And there was a huge log on the sidewalk.

And we were all standing around going, is this human? That looks human. It's human. We moved into our place on Fourth and, you know, Gary. I woke patten up because I woke up. I lifted my blinds. It was one of my first nights, he and I had both been on the road. And it was like our first nights in our new apartment living together.

and there's a dude pooping. I'm watching him poop on the corner of Geary. So I'm fucking patting up to show him. I made him get up. I opened his blinds and pointed down at the dude pooping because if I had to see it, he had to see it. And then we both said, welcome to San Francisco. And we got espresso.

Yay. And the espresso was booed. Yeah. Dudes be pooping. That's my turn. Mm-hmm. What can we do? do right now.

We've got him. Is he killed? Yeah. That guy in the rubble has killed you. Dead. New guy. Okay.

The wise one's coming. And glug is dead. Oh, no. Dead, dead? Yeah. What are we going to drink at Christmas?

He went down. Can we help him? No. You can grab that Adamantine javelin. I already have it. We could chuck it. Oh, I thought he had.

Can we? Oh, did we give it to him? No, I don't think so. Oh, good. No death saves. Can we bind him? He's done. I say we cover him with some tartar sauce

to preserve him That's how he would want it How far away is this thing? About from you 150 120 from the wall We'll paper this Is anybody got anything that's that far away? I wonder if you can chuck that

I'm trying to jump out of Anthony Joplin that far You got a 20 foot stuff You could shoot bows and such Yeah If you have a bow or cross bow Throw a poo at him That's it.

I think that's 250 feet right here. What's the actual range on the short bow? I don't know. I think it's 120 feet or 150 or something. And you can shoot. The accent says 80 to 320. You can go, you can throw your javelin up to 120, not that you ask. I always do see that.

But if you miss, then your jabble is gone. Shortbow can go 80 feet and then I think it's disadvantage up to 320. sounds right I don't know about which one did you have a long bow what is your range I know I have a short bow yeah that's a short short bow

is also a little Peefer's has actually not a crossbow I have a question guys is well do you have fire bolt you can ask the table I have firebolt yes firebolt is 120 in total range

if you run up there you can hit The other question it is, is there shit down there that we can blast on him to kind of block his passage? Oh, that's a good idea. There is a ceiling, yeah. Is that not helpful? Because we want to go this way eventually, right? It's a much bigger passage than the doorway you collapse, so it would take a much bigger explosion. I would think that just from the size of the passage that you would kind of go, well, I need like a bomb or something.

or something. Yeah, gotcha. Okay. That's a great shirt, Chris. I'll move forward. As far as I have to, do Fireball? All right, so do you go to scoot yourself up by little peepers in that corner? Which guy?

Where I am? Scoot you yourself. That's right? Right here? Yep. So there. Yeah. Chris's shirt, by the way, it's Gavin McLeod spreading his ass cheeks.

Mm-hmm. Yep. What? Rat party gift. That's harmful. What? He's going to use conquist. boots why would you ever it's my favorite Gavin McLeod line reading from

Mary Tyler Moore what does he say he's a Ted's wearing conquistador boots and just Gavin McClout says he's wearing his conquistador boots it's good news funny just yeah this gives a little tweak that's the and then you see this doving in there you see it absolutely 15 plus seven well that's That's a hit. Ooh. It's a bigger hit than Gavin McLeod's famous show The Love Boat. He was chicken on Hawaii 500.

Oh, was he? Yeah, it was super bad guy. Didn't chicken? Chicken. And he probably had like crazy 70s hair that you wouldn't expect to see on Gavin McLeod. He was already bald. He had very loud shirts, though. Oh, okay.

Very loud Hawaii. Is it as loud as the goatsie on Chris's shirt? There's goatsy on there? Spreading your ass cheeks. No, I know. There's all sorts of things spreading their ass cheeks. Glac says that his shirt has Gavin McLeod spreading his ass jeanne. Oh, I'm very drunk.

I don't expect you to remember what Goatsy looks like and enjoy it. Nope. I mean Goatsy shirt. A 10. Lemon party, anyone? Blue off shoes. Blue off. 12.

Great. Nice. Yeah. Okay. and you think else for a turn like a bonus act still? Oh, I believe so. We got to kill this guy. Or gal?

Let's kill this gal. All right. Giggle misses. I'm just joking. I'm okay. Kill this gal. Ken. Yeah.

What, I got a turn? It's time for you to play Dungeons and Dragons. Yay. Hot nigg-d-ding-ding-dong. I mean, I've changed. I can't quit sorcerers most. Can't stop. Are you going to, you have to scooch close here.

Yeah, scut-littily-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-doo here. Let's get over here. And that's a miss. Flying back away. Classic can. I really don't think that's a flying sound. Can't hear it again. Let's hear one more time.

Can't stand losing you. It's so upset. Brian, meanwhile, was in a referee. Can I got killed so many times today. Well, you just said I can, I can't. I can't. I can't. I listen to the police way more than you think I do.

I love the police. I listen to him yesterday. Sam I am. You never get it? I like Stuart Copeland. That's about it. Wow. Yeah.

I like the rumblefish soundtrack. Oh, yeah. The theme from droids. Do you have Clark Kent? No. Clark Kent was his pop album that he did. It was a pseudonym. It was during the, I guess, the Regatta de Blanc era,

but it's probably my favorite police album. Right between the rocks. He did the... I just liked the regular stuff. I'm not all cool like you guys. You did the theme from 120 minutes. Sure. Uh-huh.

Or no, not 120 minutes. Your MTV Raps? No, the one of Peter Zerramba, oh, why am I blanking on it? Peter Zerramba hosted it. It was the other alternative. Oh, if I could blink on you, I'm to your house. Oh, God, damn. I'll think of it.

I'll think of it. Other than 120 minutes. Oh, cutting edge. The cutting edge. That was an IRS show. It was produced by Miles Cohen. Oh, really? Yeah.

And so his, the theme was Stuart Copeland, Clark Kent. theme from a kinetic ritual I like Tim he's great you got it you got I'll I'll hook you up I don't know man they I always love them even at my most metal and then nowadays too like you know

can never do them or Duran Duran That's a Duran Duran Duran I know different vibe but I just could never That's one of Melanie's favorite bands I got her John Travado She's favorite band all time and I didn't go.

But she said it was one of the best concerts she ever saw. When we moved here, my wife would see occasionally John Taylor at this breakfast place in the valley. And apparently that was her biggest crush of all time. Oh, wow. And I mean, like. A lot of girls. They're handsome. You look right?

Yeah. It's easy on the eyes, that guy. Yeah. Had like a beautiful, like, low to the ground, Lamborghini sports car on the, I mean, yeah, it's like very much. He's a great bass player, too. Yeah, pretty much. John Taylor kicking hands. When I was...

Oh, that guy. What happened there, Dan? What? You see Little Peepers grab his sides of his temples, and he shrieks and goes down. Oh, no. Was he listening to Clark Kent? Brian's up.

You see Little Peepers go down right in front of you. Cool. So not cool. I'm not happy about it. Oh, man, I know that dude. He says, oh no. Furbel! I freaking fireball, can you...

You can use it. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. It's a can't trip. Can't trip. Maybe. That's a can trip, not can't trip. Right.

I might tell a can. Huh? Nothing. Or it is a can't trip. Look at that. 19 plus. Camret. Nice.

Jesus. 26. do some damage. Yeah, do your damage. What is this again? You're doing? Damn your doage. Do the damage.

What is the fire bolt? Fire bolt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking firebolt. Fux. You fucks. Five plus eight. Two minutes later.

Thirteen. Smashes into him. Does that seem to affect him as far as, like, his flying or anything like that? He's about to roll to save. He saves. Yeah, when he gets hit, I've been having him roll a concentration save. Our constitution saving throw, and he's been making him. Fall into that fucking asshole.

I know. Let's get him. Double down, guys. Let's kill him. We can't. We can't die here on this. in this Kenya.

Swam Valley. Oh. I will, I think I just went. No. Wait, did you? Yes. I'm,

I'm, become outstuck in time. Ken, you heard him. It's your turn again. Is it? Are you Billy Pilberman? I am. I'm completely

unstuck in time. Am I completely just getting the turn order room? Yeah. Put a checkmark by my name. I just had back in time. Bam.

Cambo. Go, I went. at some point and the creepo went because he just brought up little peepers I botched I didn't botched but chris did you just go missed an attack no or it's your turn Chris hey oh okay I'm so sorry I blame this I'm doing this I need to just now look at this anymore yeah yeah I have a little down what is how does little peepers seem to be doing he's dying oh no that's not good he's unconscious and that's your own points

Oh, is it? Okay, I'll cast Healing Word Okay. At level one. I heard it. I heard it happen. How about, uh,

healing word callous. Wow. Uh, seven. Great. He wakes up. He's still down, but he is alive. And then movement wise, I want to try and get around.

I can't see. Yeah, I can get out. that's not D&D if you don't stand up and look at the yeah I stand up and I look at the map and then run to the corner so I'm tucked out of line of sight for that thing okay lovely playing up I'm going to move up to where Chris is and

also hide but I'm going to firebolt while I'm dead if you'd like to truly hide you got to use I think you have coming action, hi, so do a stealth check. You want to do that before or after is your choice? I'll do it before. Okay. 13 plus 12, 25 on my stealth. Okay.

That's probably good. I'll give you advantage on this. Nice. And then the, uh, and my attack is 19 plus six. So 25 on that. Do you want to roll again and see if you get a crit? Yeah, sure. You have advantage.

I got a crit. Yay! Wow. No shit, huh? Very nice. Nice work. And that's... Double damage.

That's 10 and 2, 12, 24. Nice. Don't forget your sneak attack. Oh, do I get a sneak attack on that? Anytime a rogue, you have advantage or the target is in melee with somebody else. Dan? That's right, right? I'm sorry, is reading a spell that he's going to cast on his turn.

What is it's happening? Is it right that he, because he, it's a plain attack with advantage, he gets to apply his sneak attack damage. Yes, correct. And that's a crit too. Sweet. Two, four, 11. He makes his concentration.

He's still floating. 11 plus 6, 17. 17 and 24. 17.24. 17 and 24. 41? Yeah. Nice.

Thank you, Chris. And I'm done. And I'm done. And you got roll that stealth check. I did. Oh, what was it? There was a 25. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was a high number. So you're not currently hidden, but that's how you got advantage in the crib. Does that affect his concentration thing? Because he was 41 damage? I did say this into the microphone, but I did. Oh, you mean like because extra damage he should have to roll. It's 10 or whatever half of the damages. So if it's 41, it would be 20, right?

I didn't know that. Is it half? I think that's check for concentration. I think concentration is. the DC is if it's the damage is less than 10 I've been doing this for DC is 10 and then basically once the once the hit point it's only when the hit points are substantial when the hit points then are over 20 you have it

and that becomes the DC that's a lot of damage to have blame's running a lap around the house oh you're right it's whichever number is higher right I thought it was Okay. There we goes again. Yeah, he's going to flop down in that acid water. Sweet shit. Could you remove the little flying brick we have him sitting on and just have him sitting in the river?

Sit in the river. Acid. Eat your asshole. Joy box. Actually, wait, hang on a second. No, he's in a fucking river. I know, but he So he is an Al Thun

What are you doing tonight? Got no place to go. Them motherfuck are in the river. Magic resistance. Alhoun has advantage on saving throws against spells and under magical advice. Don't you come along with me. What's half of 20 or 41?

Like it's impossible, right? He'd have to make a 20. Well, if he has a, you know, and a half. 20 and a half. Yeah, he always round down. He got a 19, so he's still going to go. He's so sad.

He's still going to plot. Little Peepers is going to stand up. Could someone stand up Little Peepers for me, and he's going to attack? Oh, yes. They attack, what, us? No. Brian, from the love of Christ. He reveals his true motive this whole time.

He turned him because this game is so fucked. I mean, it's a great idea. This game so fucked. Suddenly, his eyes turned white. He is undead. You know what? Man, this game's so fucked. I know.

He's gonna start firing a shirt bow at the little undead fellow. Purebebe. A beautiful undeadling. That's one. That was a good run there, you guys. You've good riffs. All right, so this is going to be. It's going to be

sneak attack damage It's 5D6 Nice Plus another D6 Yeah Plus 6 That could be 36

That could be 36 66 plus 6 I saw a teenager Oh yeah That weird movement in the doorway In the dark 20 hit points I've seen it a couple times

I've tried pretend that you'd be a little See it's either a poultry guy start teenager oh shit brian's up i think little peeper's my last i'm gonna fireball fire you're gonna fuck him oh you're a firebolt okay gross uh he's he's prone i cast fuck so if you could tip him over he's actually you would uh rage attacks have disadvantage on him because he is prone oh range attacks but if you're have disadvantage but if you get within melee you can just stab down on him with advantage

Am I. Can you someone do the count of 5, 10, 15, 20 on each brick? It looks close. Ready or not here, I count. It's not like 60. Is it? Okay. I went around to get hit.

Yeah. That's him. Five. Actually, it's only 30, right? On the short. I think so. Put him on the shore. Even if he doesn't make it, just kind of lean him off of it just so we know he's not in the.

Then I'm going to stab him with the jab. The garbage. Oh, nice. Jab him with the stab him. Yeah. If you're, yeah, you're exactly right. 12 plus 719. That's, yeah.

Do you want to see if you get a crit? Yeah, well, it can, man. Like blame? Oh, sweet crit. Crip. Full of crat? 13 plus 7. 20. Points? Oh, that's, yeah.

Still, yeah. So 1D6 points. And your sneak attack. Oh shit. I forgot to take my Adderall before we started. Oh, shit. That's why all this insanity is happening with the turn order. Oh, five.

Interesting. And then you get your sneak attack, which is 5D6, right? Jesus. Guys, Brian's just been rolling this dice over and over again and staring at it. I don't know if he's okay. He's in a loop. Ask again later. 21?

Nice. How'd you like to see this album? Oh, son of her. My barbecue. What do they say in Wizard of Us? It's like, melting, right? Yeah, yeah. She says I'm melting and just disappears into that.

And then, uh, What a world, what a world, what a world. It flips this up. Gives you the T2. Yeah, the T2. A slimy other finger T2. A couple of movie. is thrown together.

Who cares? You guys are now out of combat. Yeah. That's good. That's good. Looking at all of your hit points, I would think you might want to pull back. You do know you're not far from the end game here. Yeah, I want to get some rest.

Yeah, it would be nice to rest up. I think maybe we should find a way to rest. Let's set up camp right here in the acid. Well, this looks like a great place to rest, doesn't it, everyone? Isn't it good that we blocked off the way to a closed-off room? Hey, wait a minute. minute. I am going to look. I have a total map on World Trinity. Don't we have something down this way? I think we have something down this way. I don't know what's it. Do the mind flares that

we killed, do they have any magic items or anything on them? Should we? Well, that one's PIN, so we can search that one. That one's in the goo, so we might want to. Okay. And the goo is, of course, slang for the slime mafia. Uh, uh, uh, Twin has a Liamint's tiny hut. Oh, Oh, I was doing? Yeah, there's never been called for it. I mean, this is a hell of the time for you. I know. I was going to say it's a shame nobody has a lien signing up.

And yet, me. If only someone had Liam's. Now, here's what's rough. I have Lehman's Pizza Hut. Oh, making it great. Yeah, it was those red cups. If you guys just take a look at the map on my phone as best you can. Because like, take a look.

It's on my phone. This is a sex trick. D&D Mac. Hey, buddy. It's your, Dan, it's your feet. That's very ghastly. Look, it's a dog licking a boner. No, it's not a horrifying image.

That's where you are. The pink arrow is where you came from. So there's not really a lot of shore. You guys are barely on some uneven rocks. You could cast him as Tiny Hut. But you guys would all have to do sort of like a deck save when you sleep to not slide into the goo or brace yourselves with a survival check. Your other option is to try to get up either way.

to the right or the left. And you'll notice there is supposedly some flat ground to the right. Let's do it. Go east. Okay. We'd have to go through a narrow passage full of slime. Can we jump over it?

You have to figure out how you're going to get across this. Which would like me to text it to the group, perhaps. How long do you to fly? Can we just from looking at how far of a jump is that? It is. I can cast flying some folks. Yeah. I can misty, step.

It is a 75-foot long highway. hallway and then the room has another 20 feet so it's a total of 95 feet before there's flat ground in that direction wait but how much slime is there so you're not sure how deep it is but it's at least five feet deep but how long is the slime five feet wide or no 10 feet wide like the river we have there i'll send this photo maybe it'll put it a little bit in a perspective but it's if you can sort of look, if you can zoom in on the squares, you can kind of see, first of all, the James Spader photo I sent everyone, because who wouldn't? Thanks. But the map should be coming through. Sorry about that. I'll put that in the spank bank. What? I'm in a spank credit union.

I keep mine under my bed. I do a spank bartering system. Spank pelts? Spank beads and tropical woods. Yeah. Plus also spices from the far east. Oh. Yes. Cinnamon. Ooh, spanky. I give all my spank to the poor.

Oh. I hate that show where everybody, all those rich people jerk off that shark. Shark spank. Baby shark jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk. Wait, did you say the thing, Dan? Huh? Oh, my God. I did make a screen.

grab and send it to everybody. It might be taking a second on Brian's Wi-Fi, but... Taking a second on Brian. Well, let's get down there and go. You can pass my phone around. Just look it on my phone. I've seen it. I've seen it.

It looks like this. Well, everybody's looking, I will say, in our... Lightspace. Right. So, can we just... Go down there? Yeah, like here, I'll try to help a little bit. Somebody needs to fly up and...

like so it's like a lot of that is there still an edge in which we can travel or no no that's that's the best miniature okay so it's 75 feet of travel but if you kind of look at that map to pick it's you're going to have to fly us yeah I think so

what in the living balls. If you're done with my phone, will you please give it back to me? No. Oh, thanks, Chris. Yes. So we're actual friend. So we're moving over here out of you can climb. Yeah, he wants us to go like 75 feet this way. Yes. Yes, I want you to do what you can I tell you as dungeon master. We're going to be resting so it doesn't matter. This would be my last fifth level fly spell. Okay. That's the only place I have a slot. So that affects. There's five of us. Target one additional creature for each spell slot level above three.

And then there's this room. So you can make three people fly. Yeah. Kind of like that. He can, Blame can climb because he's cat, Cat Johnny. Cat Johnny.

So then that would be Brian, me, and the fish wizard. Oh, wait. And then can carry elephant more. Fish wizard can fly himself. Oh, never mind. Okay. So that's three. So fish wizard can fly.

My fish wizard could fly. fly I'd never leave them. Right? Damn. Talk about it. Spanekish wizard. Blaineer. I'll give you guidance just to help you because you have to.

Okay. But you can climb on the walls, right? Yeah, pretty much. Well, you have a climb speed, right? It's, uh, my climbing speed equals my walking. Yeah. So you're set. Yeah.

So 30 keep climbing. So then there's like this rise. All right. Let's go down there. Is it wrong not fly? I hate your noise. Fish guy is too small and weak to fly anybody. He can fly himself, but I would just have you roll a survival check or an athletics check,

whichever is better to, if you're going to carry anyone. But if you're casting flight, can you get everyone else as a group? Because I'm doing it level five. It's the last time you have. You can get everyone? Great. Yeah. And I mean, you want to say a few words for glug? We did.

Oh, shit. Excuse me. Oh, but we do want to check that dead guy for stuff, right? Blaine, didn't you say we got to check for magic stuff on the dead body? Yeah, roll them. All right. When rolls him around, it is going to be an investigation check because he's so buried. All right.

I'm just going to do 21 my passive investigation I'm going to give guidance to anybody who wants to use it okay great terrific I like that I'm happy with it oh no I roll the passive investigation is 13 okay let's not do that then

Brian do you want to investigate yeah I'm done it too I'm just I'm just thinking about the numbers that's a and you can add a D4 if you want 14 plus a 4 Where's my four? Passive investigation. 17.

Nice. All right. So we had 21 passive and then 17 and then... I rolled a natural one. Natural one. Okay. I got 19. Okay.

So... 16%. Nice. Brian, you find a wand that's wedged under the rock. And Blaine, just at the last second, you see the corpse of the mind player floating behind you, and there is a wand on top of the corpse. Oh, hey. A second wand. Do you try to go grab it?

I'm going to try to go grab it. How are you going to do it? I'm going to, how wide is the, is the, he's in the middle. It's only like a five foot reach to get to him. I'm going to jump onto him, grab it, and then jump off off. I love it. That'll be an acrobatics check, DC16. Yeah.

So high as I want our mama. 11 plus 2 is 13. 3.5. All right. Do you still have guidance? Oh, can I do guidance? It lasts for a minute if you still have it. I don't know if you used.

I think he would. Just barely. Four. Shit. So what was that? 17? 17. So you make that.

Okay, good. Holy shit. All right. So, Brian, you found a wand of secrets. Oh. And Blaine, you found a wand of pyrotechnics. Ooh. Pyroachnics.

Firework show. Brian, wand of secrets. This one has three charges and regains 1D3 expended charges daily at dawn. While holding it, you can take a magic action to expend one charge. And if a secret door or trapped is within 60 feet of you, the wand pulses and points at the one nearest you. Oh, nice. Good. Wand of pyrotechnics. It's a secret detector.

It'll just go off when I walk by something. Yeah, yeah. I think you have to activate it. You do have to activate it as a magical action. And does it come with three charges? Um, someone would have to hold it and do an arcana, check this one, want to? Got it, got it. Sure, I will. Okay. And then I'll describe the other one when you're done with this.

That is a 14. It has one charge. So yeah. If you do that long rest, it'll be overcharge some. Okay, BonapyroTechnics, Blaine. This one has seven charges. While holding it, you can take a hand. magic action to expend one charge and create a harmless burst of multicolored light at a point

you can see up to 120 feet away. The burst of light is accompanied by a crackling noise that can be heard up to 300 feet away. The light is as bright as a torch flame, but lasts only a second. There's some rules on recharging for that as well. But both of these are in the Dungeon Master's Guide or D&D.N.D.B. Beyond, if you look them up, Wanda Power Technics and Wanda Secrets. and then if everyone's got the fly spell, we can just sort of skew these aside

and call my little dice book the flat place where you guys are already resting. The flat place. And you're going to cast Lehman's Tiny Hunt. Please, please. And we'll have to see how your rest in the Hellscape goes on our next episode of nerding pokery. No way, all right?

Yeah way. Yahweh. About 30 pounds. You can check out my new project over at darkest whimsy.com. Right. Cool. Yeah. Who else has got plugs besides, you know,

the one that you don't want anyone to know about that you got at Spencer's? Primephysen.com. My April is kind of light. I'll be, if you're in Mexico City, I'm going to be doing a convention down there. It's my first one. With the cast for my new show, Stuart Fails to Save the Universe. Oh, wow.

Is that like the convention where they make guacamole like right at the side of the K&A? Probably. I love that. Oh, my God. And then food. Got San Diego coming up this year, too. But more tour dates and Comcom appearances at Bridem.com. And I'll just nerd poker merch and my merch.

Newer PokerPod. Yeah. Blaine. We attribute the success. not save mankind from As we're joining us on this episode You got walls and a roof. Well.

On the next nerd poker. Nerd Poker Mailbag. Dear Nerd Poker, I got captured by a saw and there's an explosive thing on my neck now. And I have to answer one question or it'll start to get tighter and tighter and tighter. Here's the question. Can I park in a handicapped spot at Trader Joe's?

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