Nerd Poker - The Fog Campaign - Episode 66

Episode Date: April 14, 2026

The Undercity beneath Dellsmouth is collapsing! Time for the classic debate: swim underwater through froghemoth-infested slime, or swim the way back with our heads occaisonally above water and dodge a dead leviathan god. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com

Hey, it's Brian Possein. Nerd Poker. We're calling it. The Svald Campaign. My friends are here. Chris, Blaine, Ken, engineer Sam, and of course,

our kick-ass, DM, Dan Telfer. Welcome to Nerd Poker. Hey, everybody. It's Brian Pucane. You're listening to Nerd Poker. We're live. Well, not live, but...

Anyway, we're playing in my house. To our audience is what I meant. You made it sound like we were in front of a record store. I know. Is that things wrong? No, I loved it. Episode 66 of the Fog campaign. We're going to get somebody kicks.

You've heard everybody already chimed in, but here they are around the table. Chris. Hi. Ken. Oh, excuse me. Excuse me. All of us. Hi.

You farted in my mouth. Are you? I followed. it's ruined your mouth. A turtle-headed. Save us, save us, Sam. Dan's parts are very chewy. From the cool part of the job.

Hello, sweet children. Should I thank some people? Yeah, please. I'm going to wrap that, Jeff. Some of you guys have been super generous. And if you can, you'll keep this show going by heading over to patreon.com slash nerd poker. And if you kick it in at one of those top two tiers, you'll get your name shout out. Like, listener, T-Cup Tempest. Thank you, T-Cup Tempest.

Thank you Michael Noon Thank you Jeremy the Rancor Thank you Die, singular Thank you squinch Some of these it's like Hmm, alright It's probably a halfling

Thank you Squinch Lindel Snuggins Thank you Depeche Chode Of course a long form Improft team Thank you Kevin Gardner Thank you Poked

Thank you, Stuart Black Thank you Daniel Whom I care for deeply Thank you Lil John's tiny What? Thank you, firm rip. Thank you, Dr. Duck Butter. Thank you.

I just don't like that at all. Thank you, Chris Becos. And finally, thank you. Bombson, two joints, tender crash. Blaine for the supporters brought us by. I can't wait to actually hear this commercial. Supporters brought to us by, AI1 Stelixauze.

Give your meaty air at a treatise. An intricate minutes of spices, bricks, animal pelt, Scalia, and wood for adding ingredients to finger pork. A1 1. Death and moisture to intelligent meat.

Dan? There's like a radio head quality to it now. I can really see the 12th finger when you were doing that. Have you been watching 12th finger? Holy shit. I mean, what won't he say? Yeah. I'd say.

12 finger. Wow. Wow. is the man the man with the finger I touch he's too much but it bow bow bow

bow bow bow bow bow bow we started when you guys coming over where am I come out of front buzz me in

sorry so I'm still in line of the drive for chicks so I can't I can't get over here it's the worst over there

it's so it's over there at Magadonald's All right, it's time to talk about... What happened the last time? On Nerd Poker. Whoopsedoodle. The whole place is exploding.

At least right before that, you guys destroyed the phylacteries of the Lich Queen. Unforch. Her distraction of the giant skull... Both, you know, like... It worked because you didn't like bumrusher, but also, like... Uh... It didn't work out great. fur, and then like she's collapsing the entire fucking place.

So where we last left everyone, the ceiling, the walls, the ground was all shaking. She had telepathically threatened everyone with the collapse or told some of them that they could live forever, or maniacally laughed in their heads. And everyone kind of laughed about it for a while, and then she did start collapsing the place. So let's see. Can they escape or will they attack the Litch Queen? is you already gone? Let's find out.

So yeah, you guys are in the southeast corner of the map. I have told open roll 20, so since we've done a lot of questing, on the internet, I can try to one-to-one this. And you went like north of room from the river O'Sline, but everything's starting to shake,

and at this point you would see that the slime levels are rising. Why don't you get a perception check from everybody? Okay. Reception? Yeah, boss. Brian, first roll of the nut. How you feel? Pretty good.

Yeah, what die you're using tonight? 10 plus 3, 13. 16, 6 plus 10. A geeter, guys. What? What? You're Derek Jeter? Oh.

Yeah, Peter. I got, Geter. We have. What did you get, Brian? Uh, three plus ten, perception, 13. Uh, yeah, 15 plus 10, 25. Ooh, shit.

That thing did win. Uh, you are, um, got that, um, got that just you who got over 20, Chris? Didn't you get, I thought, I got 16. Oh, okay, yeah. So you're starting to see fissures in the walls. Guys, as much as it would be cool to kill her now, I don't think we can I think we have to run for our lives

I'm all for running for our lives but I only have eight left little people's got 12 he's going to go ahead and nod I feel like last time wasn't it Blaine who noticed that the

the shit river was a way to possibly get out of here? Yeah you did notice that the slime was the same as the slime that was in the bag and why don't we get an insight check from y'all as you all sort of like get a lay of this place you at least no matter what you roll will notice the slime river kind of has started

in a room that you went to to the far southeast it's sort of pouring down a waterfall so you think that like you know that could be only two rooms away whereas the thief queen the Litch thief queen is kind of like two and a half rooms away plus there's a skull between you and her so what were those insight checks?

13 plus 10, 23. Hot chas. 19 plus 7, 26. Jesus. Chichu-cha. I got 13 plus 6. 19. Pretty good, pretty good. You got 220 pluses and a 19.

What you got there, Bribe. You hate that nickname. It's not even really a nickname. It's like me being lazy. Better than Corteroy. How was that role, Cordroy? The bear. Where's that extra button you need for your suspenders, Corderoys?

Nice. So 18 is the low roll. That's fantastic. You're looking around, yeah. If you were to submerge yourself underneath the little cliff riser in the southeast corner, there would be a moment where you were submerged in the slime, which again, you haven't burned yourself with it. It's not like the mountain campaign where you've witnessed someone slowly dissolving in it.

This is maybe not good, like in a poison kind of way. Maybe not good in other ways, but it's not acid. I didn't stick an acid river. I mean, this does seem like escape the death trap by swimming through the poison. And you could try to, like, you know, leave the way you came, but, the place is coming down. Yeah, well, it's coming down. And like, how do I put it?

You're almost equidistant from the way you came and that way out. The thief queen is farther away than either of those two exits. The way you came, if you remember, it was like a giant empty room. Right. And there was something stomping through the darkness coming towards you. And you all just kind of like went through. And you heard like a bang, bang. But like, you never kind of turned around and looked at what the giant thing was that was

stomping towards you. and you dropped from like, I don't know, like six stories up through this, like, pitch black room. So it's, it's like, again, you guys broiled pretty high in your inside. Maybe you would be able to, like, float in the water and make your way up. There was like that shoot that you slid down. So there's a possibility you could make it that way. So going back the way we came is not. It's not crazy, but there might be a giant creature there.

the thing is that it would be more guaranteed than swimming through the slime tunnel which is a possibility you're just not sure where that's going to empty out but you guys broke really high there's multiple places it could empty out the bay is the most obvious one because you've talked about it on a couple of episodes but yeah

now I hate to mention this because this is very out of character for this group this is not a way for us to get more gold so already I'm already like thumbs down on this thing I'm bringing up but if we go out the river.

This is, guys, this is Ghostbusters 2. This is the slime. This is for whatever reason, like her coffin or whatever, this is the source of the slime. If we go out this way, we can like try and destroy it behind us and thereby save the town.

It's not our thing. It's not really our style. We usually burn the town down. I mean, that's, yeah. Yeah, I mean, believe me, that's the most likely version. But if we go this way, we have a chance of doing that,

but there's no way we're going to, we're going to have to fight her. In the background, you do hear higher and higher by Howard Huntsbury playing the background, like just before the Statue of Liberty was covered and slumption as muster do. Do we, is the opening big enough for us to get through? which opening?

The one you came from or the one that you're hoping is there? The one that we're hoping is there. Slime, it's probably big enough just because the volume of slime that was pouring through it. I mean,

but you're going off inside, not visual. You haven't seen. I'll look at, like, I'll look at like Spikoli, the slubs, I am,

like what do your guts tell you at this moment? We can try and run out the door and get up, Get out of here that way. What do you... What does everybody think? Maybe it's time to vote. Are any of the fish guys still alive?

Yeah, there's two. There's the... The sorcerer and... Well, let's find out what they think, because they know how to get back up that shoot, maybe, or they might know... Yeah. We might be able to follow them through this tunnel.

I would just worry that we would get into the slime tunnel and then just get trapped. Yeah, and Glock's pretty doethy. He's a barbarian, so he's just going to be out. I don't know. But Glock would say, I think that we would be taking a bigger risk going to do it on. I don't even know what that passage is. It's too toxic for my people to try to swim through.

This line, I mean, we could potentially leave. We would be, you know, holding our breath or, you know, we do breathe in water, but this isn't exactly water, if you understand. I mean, it seems like poison. All right, well, then let's run. And you're saying we kill her on the way out? I think we're going to have to kill her no matter what. Yes.

And in perfect world, oh, I'd kill her here. Sure. But I think she's going to follow us to the service world. And it's going to fucking suck. We got to get out of here, right? Yeah. Let's get out of here. Let's go.

McCauley. Ken, what did you still have that? You still have that skeleton hat, right? What does it do? Have we figured it at that? held into his head and it does let him travel through the astroplane. Yeah. Ooh.

Isn't a skeleton head and a close skull? That's a great point, right? That's a Paul Hopkins king hat. Yeah, yeah. Over at the haberdastery. Can you please get me the headbone? My face was a skeleton. I was behind these two girls at Starbucks once and they were in line.

And the one girl was like, yeah, we're going to go and I, I, I saw, we went over to this place, they had all these baby dogs running around. They were so cute, these babies. Just like, what are you talking? Yeah, it's a little baby dogs. They were, they were jumping around on me. And her friend steps back and she goes,

Beach, those are puppies. You know, baby dogs are pretty impressive use of that work. Yeah. Bitch, those are puppies. Pretty good times. Yeah, so I can. master playing it. Big deal.

Yeah, but maybe that allows you to, like, let's say we get stuck. It's good for us to know as we're about to go through. And the slime is starting to, like, reach your legs. So you're like, okay, there's water mixing with it.

It's, yeah. Let's not hightail it in one direction or the other. What's the vote, folks? We're saying, we're saying, let's go back the way we came. All right, let's get an athletics check from everybody. You're going to be, like, diving through openings

that are not incredibly hard to dive through. However, can I give guidance? You're trying to hustle. Of course you can give guidance. So people can add a D4 to your athletics. Oh, boy. Oh, no.

Oh, no. All right, so Gulk rolled a six, and then Glug and Lil Peeper was both botched. Oh, my God. So we're looking at, what, 21? No, botched. Oh, no. I got a 17 plus 2.

19. I got a 11 plus 3 3 on a D3 so for a total of 17. Yeah, 19 minus 1 plus 3. Yours is the coolest

math. What was yours? 19 minus 1 plus 3. Oh, 21. 21? What was yours Chris? 19. What was your plane? 19. And then we have three botches and a 6. So unfortunately,

that is not going to even out very well. You're going to make it to the last room. Some of you did roll pretty decently, but the number of botches means you're going to be trying to help Spicoli, glug, and of course little peepers as they keep just not scrambling up the rocks fast enough, you're going to get right to the end.

And then the whole wall structure starts shaking and rocks collapse over the stairwell. So I would say I don't lose these pieces of... Listener, Dan is reassembling the terrain he had previously set up. It is now a different space. Put some tiles down, everybody. And he brought a cassidia.

No, I didn't. You dirty, dirty liar. Cazadea sound good, though. Why are there so many? songs about tacos What's on you know Did you see an area You were talking about Japan before

Do you see an area in Japan that had like a D&D focus area You said like sometimes they're dedicated to like characters Is there any no They're more about the other RPGs and video Oh okay Was there like G-I-Joe characters And there's card playing places too Oh interesting

Card games yeah I'd like to go to like a place that was decorated like War Duke. Remember War Duke? War Duke. Was he that big dog? War Duke was, I think he was on the D&D animated show, and he was one of the original Dungeons and Dragons figures.

He was sort of like the fighter bad guy. And he was very Conan, except for, so like one arm would be blue chain mail, and the other arm would be bear. And then, but that bare arm's leg would have the same blue, chain mail, and then the other leg would be bear. So he was this weird mix of like super armor and keyman. And then he had this fucking cool like Boba Fett can't see his face on it.

Cut us out of armor and a leg off. You got it. It's cheaper. I really didn't think this through. I'd like to cast a spell. Well, if I get a chance. I think you're going to have to table it a little bit. It's taken me a second.

But I'll try here. I'll have to pause this like what I'm doing here and just remind you if you say your initiative in a moment after I have you roll initiative, I'm not going to remember it. So try to remember your initiative when you all roll it. I can't do that.

Do it right now? No. Let me tell you what's happening and slow you down at least slightly. So yes, Lil Peepers, by the way, going to be represented by this. I can't find Little Peepers as many. So it's going to be this little half-ling thief.

So you got to be. make it to the final room, rocks tumble over the exit, and water starts to explode through the walls. You have a limited amount of time. Oh dear. Before the whole room is submerged now, everybody roll for initiative. Initiative. Nine.

Brian, I'm going to remind you, I believe I gave you, like, you get to add a D8 to your initiative. I gave you some gift of alacrity. Wow. It's called. It's a special thing I touched you. So for like eight hours you get to add. I believe it's a D8 to your initiative.

It's time to touch. I feel your D-A-N. I got a 14, 10 plus 4. Nice. Kaskal. Anybody, anybody? I got a 19 plus 6, 25. Ooh.

Close. What did you get a wing? Oh, wow. You got a 14. Nice. M. And Spicoli, what you got? 14.

Roll on for fish fellows. Oh, they're all high And Nobody talk Oh, okay I'm sorry I was just thinking about Remember fishheads

What's the who's the famous? Barnes and Barnes But wasn't the Their character actor James Cameron guy No, no Who was an associate Bill Paxton?

Yes Why was Bill Paxton Associated with it? Fish O'clock Billy Moomy I think Oh, Billy Moomy did it too Yeah, Billy Moomy

Was I don't know Bill Paxton was Royed in the room, but cherries or something I think. What? Listen, you definitely. No, Martini Ranch.

And Rossi? Yes. It's Marty. It's Martini Ranch and Rossi, Ossie Spumonti. It's a delicious champagne. Is that what it was? Yeah. What was the commercial?

Martini Ranch was the Bill Paxton man. Martini Racki. There we go. Ostee Smuanty. But Bill, Moomy was in the Barnes and Barnes. Yeah, Billy Moomy, who played Will Robinson on Lost in Space, started a... And Cornfield Boy.

Yeah, band with his friend called Barnes & Barnes that recorded a Dr. Demento hit, the famous fishheads. I'm going to see Dr. Demento do a signing in Long Beach. Oh, my God. On the 19th with Emo. Oh, wow. Awesome. Nice.

Can I get everyone to put their minis down? We're missing. Yeah. I forgot my mini, Dan. I'm sorry. Oh, God. Ken, please put mine way past whatever obstacle Dan has set up for us. They're dropping.

Oh, you knew I could count on the old Ken Gambit. We'll say, Ken Daly moves your token. It's wherever you want. Gary Guy Gagax is a genius when you came up with that one. He knew me well. People forget, but Ken's father. Jerry Guy Gaxe. Kenny Guy Gax.

I made all my sandals. All right. So we're an initiative, but we don't necessarily see an opponent so much as the clock is ticking on this place coming down around us. Yeah. Oh. Oh, yeah. Okay. And then Blaine, you need a stamp.

and you need to say it in Chris? No, I'll put one in there. Ken placed it for me, probably in the wrong spot. I'm a jackass. Do I have a cat detective? No, I don't. But you can be me. This is Disney.

This guy. And Brian's got a mini or she's already on. You've a green card. I put one in there for Brian. Oh, nice. You like that one? Is that Bodie? Is it? Sure.

You can use the one that looks like you. I haven't got one yet for this guy. won you up for this guy. Pardon me, well, will I put her head where my chair was? So neat girl.

I think this place is stable. I know, I'm like scooting my chair closer, closer. She's just ignoring me completely. I will eat you. I know, well, she's such a huge,

I know she could just easily kind of like yawn and inhale the sneaker right off my foot. You know, it just be like, out of loss. Okay, up first we have twidding.

This way there is, is, you know, slime and water pouring through. There's also a figure here and a fissure here. And which is the way we came from? How did we, from which way did we descend? Like rock rubble token in the stairwell. Ideally, you would move it, right? I mean, for sure, how big is this rubble passable?

Can we just sort of? You think it could be. It's hard to tell because it just sort of like splashed around the opening. Ah, guy. Oh, so it's fresh rubble. Yeah, fresh, fresh rubble. Initiatives? Huh?

Did you get our initiative? I should get it. Okay. I'm twidd and rolled a 25, so he's up first. I'm going to, uh, I guess I'll use, Ken, how much of my movement do I need to get close to the rubble? Uh, 25 maybe? Great, I'll move up 25 from, you know, within, I don't want to get like, so the rubble can then fall on top of me. No, you don't want to do that.

But I want to get close enough that, but I can, like, but I can, like investigate and be like, I have mending as a whatever, can't trip. I'm like, maybe there's an area where I could kind of touch and for a moment the stairs or whatever could you know, just to help get folks through. Yeah, I'm looking at the mending rules.

So single break or tear, such as a broken shing link, two halves of a broken key, a torn clack. It might not be anything. A leaking line. Yeah, it might be too small of an amount you can change. Yeah, but do an investigation check so I can give you a sense of it. I would love that. Because of being conscious of it, can I add guidance for myself on this investigation?

Great. Thank you. You know what's happening. 15. My investigation is plus two, so that's 17, and then plus my guidance. 14 plus 1.15. Okay. Well, that is enough.

The height of my powers. 15. That blueish portal is going to be the water rushing in. You're pretty sure mending is only going to cover a tiny little chunk of this, but there's sort of two boulders. Okay. I put another rubble chunk there. It looks like both of them are about the size of a humanoid

and they're leaning against each other. If you could get enough leverage, you might be able to pull them apart. You think because water is rushing down the stairs, there's going to be increasing pressure locking them to, gather each round. Okay, so then it seems like time is of the essence. I'm going to, I already gave you

Githelacrity. I'm going to cast Bless. Let me look it up super quick. Hey, Blaine? Yeah. If I was to look up Bless right now, would you have a thing that you would want to say, cover me? Well, I do say.

Who's Bless brought to us by? Bless is brought to us by Refrigerator. By Milton Bradley. game of escape. Perfect. I will look. Bless allows up to three creatures of my choice within range. I picked by three immediate pals.

For the next minute, as long as I maintain concentration, they all get to add a D4 to attack roles and save and throw. So it's like guidance, but for this kind of, you know, it's good. So you've got guidance for like fighting and that kind of stuff. and save yours. That's what I will do. And then, I don't know,

I will look at the boulders and see if I can help anybody get through the boulders. Yeah, what was your investigation check? It was a 15. I thought you had a bonus or a guidance on that. I did, but I rolled a one. Dirk. Okay.

Yeah, I mean, you think you could definitely use like a help action to. Great, that's what I would go. I'll use a help action to whoever actually starts to physically engage the boulders, I will help that. Okay. Sam, that means I'm helping.

Understood. Thank you. Thanks to the Kuatoa, they're both going to rush over. Golk is going to have to kind of like be on watch because he has tiny little guppy arms. No. But Glug is going to try his best to haul one of these things. And so do you want to use...

I will help him. I'll help him. Great. So he rolled this advantage, and he got a 25. So it's because I don't. He pushes one of the boulders aside enough that someone can't quite fit through it, but it's like maybe one more shoves from being knocked out of the way. Great.

If you do knock it out of the way, you still have to squeeze through. Up next is going to be a little peepers. he's going to just try to have your guys back who do I have? Little papers a little here you go he's so small I didn't see him he's little papers Spicola you're up

okay crush that rumble or is he how are the people in the slime doing I thought the slime was sort of like up to our knees it's up to your knees right now we're trying to get away sorry I said frankly when you ask me that nobody's drowned okay good

you excellent welcome to the goof on you silly goose Spicoli could you like Do people on the shore that I can pull in or? Well there's the boulders right now. It's up to everyone's legs. Yeah, yeah.

I'm gonna bust through this wall here, this rubble. Okay, should I take a shot at that? Yeah. Can you like shove it? Yeah, did you have an athletics check? He's strong, man. Yeah, we did. Oh, athletics.

Okay. I feel like I remember Spacoli being like a buff dude. Surprisingly. You're favorite. Shit. Plus two. Plus two.

That's pretty good. Three, six. All right. It's wet. You wiggle it just a little. Wiggle it. Sign up. I'm going to

go up to the rubble and try to give it a shove. Scramble. You got this, pal. Shove it, kitty. What is that? What is that at athletics, you said? Yeah. That's 12 plus 2.14.

Same thing. It's not really going to budge. This is where we have a less beefy moment. Up next is... That's where we brought that fish guy with us. He's our muscle. He did move it pretty far. Before Shalab, the water rushes. and up to your waist. And along with it, sea life.

I'm sorry? Sea life. Oh, sea life. I thought I said sea wife. Your sea wife. The mermaid used to do. She's on a short. Daryl Hannah suddenly walks into the room.

Uh-huh. But if she is a mermaid. How does she walk? That's all I'll watch Splash again. Okay. School of carnivorous fish and a giant crab. these fucking guys what a giant crap

mhm carnivorous fish is like revenge on me isn't it The fish rush in And start trying to chew On little peepers Jesus God They start jamming

He goes What the fuck? Pish They miss him But he's still like What the fuck? The fuck? Yeah I'm terrified

And And the crab is going to try to grab you, Shalab. Crab grab him. That is a 13 hedge. Oh, come on. I can't even touch me. No, you've got to hire a scene. Isn't it like a 16 or something?

I don't know. You're like, it doesn't matter. Just say no, damn. Yeah, I got a higher. All right. So, it doesn't get your leg, whatever. Do you look? Yeah.

Okay, it is 16. I went. Thank you. Clickety click. Ken, are you watching kiddie videos? Yeah, why? We're playing D&D. I get Miss Yvonne or whatever on here.

Uh, Twins up. Oh, great. Roper room. Um, I will, uh, shit. If I fired a firebolt, do I feel like that would maybe, in a magic way, kind of, Wait, I didn't attack the show. What, you did you do anything?

No. Oh, okay. Wait, hang on. I forgot. I got, um, so excited about Ken not getting it. I pretended that was this entire trip. The crab attack me. Not at all.

I will attack the crab. I wish you would. Is this, are we playing dungeon ass and dragons? Oh, shit. Oh, shit, I just got roundhouse by Brian. Out of nowhere, right-hook Clyde? Oh, my God. Was it right turn, Clyde?

My moor's. You know what, I'm just going to cast command on it. Oh. It's a wisdom-saving throw. It's probably a stupid animal. Command works on aminals? What does it say? Creature you can see within range

Yeah All right Maybe it has to understand me Uh didn't say that Let me see Yeah creature No it doesn't say anything about understanding me Um yeah I gotta look that up

Hang on I like magic Magic candles the whole like Oh yeah no no you just like you get it I do think it'll work I just want to double-jacking It's magicy it's magic I love it It's why we love magic so much

If I if I type into Google It does command or does C-O-M, the sentence finishes, does command work on Animals 5E. Filarious. Based on the rules that it's written, and fifth edition,

the command spell does not work on most animals. Fucker. There is a language requirement. The spell has no effect of it, but does not understand that. It doesn't say that in here. Okay. Ask the crab with it now.

I guess I just have to kill it then. I suppose so. Speak with animals. Hello, I'm crab, Louis. I will cast Aganazer scorcher at it. Oh, Jesus Christ. Or maybe we're playing dungeoness and rangoons. We can eat it.

Surprisingly, not attacking Blaine, somehow showing a modicum of restraint. The saving throw? Yes, 17 decks. Oh, it's on trail. Oh, my. Well, that's crab is going to get hurt. How much is he going to get hurt? Oh, let's see now.

It will be... Poboon. Is he going to get crap? points. These are all crab references. Yes, yes. Maybe you could give her cancer. But in the sky.

I get it. Sky cancer. It's fun. Everyone likes Sky cancer. At night. At night, French. Oh. Yes, you smash into its carapace,

and there's like a big crack noise. Hmm. Can I eat its brains? Jesus. Yeah, what the fuck? Whoa. Cram brands, people eat crab brains. I know, just the brains.

Does that really what people eat in the crab? You said sure, like you were even going to think about it. What is, you don't have the answer? I'm very confident a human being. I just eat thighs. I'm humane that way. You said you did say, they have 18. They have 10 thighs.

How do you want to see the crab die? I wanted to follow around us back and go, Kakala, kakakakok. There's a little crab plush. Cui? Yeah. You get the sound that sounds a lot like Kakaloo coming out of his shell. Sweet, now it truly is Chris's turn.

Yeah, I'll say, hey, man, saving some of them brains. Dan, I will, I'm going to save the question I had before. Do I feel like if I did a firebolt, like a magical attack, sort of towards this stuff in the same way that Glug was kind of shoving, Would that maybe help get some of these stones out of the way? It would not really do a lot, no. Even if the thing, like, if it does, like, force damage or something? If it does force damage, maybe, but it would depend on you rolling against the AC copy.

Yeah, I mean, for sure doing, like, an attack or something. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking is, like, maybe I would do, like, a fire bolt. Although, I don't think fire. It's going to depend on the kind of damage, though. Like, fire versus stone is traditionally bad. Force is good Force is good We're looking for force

Yeah That's not really my thing, Dan I'm more of a friend Kind of Jedi are you I'm not really Well I'm gonna maintain my concentration On my uh The bless for my friends

And then I will Take the help action again If somebody attacks Maybe our friend Glug I will help him Okay Sorry. Of course there's

No. Makes sense. Luke is going to go for it again. This time, unfortunately, he is not doing great, but he'll take that help action to go with advantage.

He rolled a two both times, so even with his athletic bonus. Oh, if it's doubles, you get a third. Yeah, you got double down, then.

You got double down. Vegas rules. That doesn't seem right. We're playing D-D-Vagas rules. So, Vegas, House rules.

House rules, Vegas rules. I tried. I'm sorry. We're actually playing Atlantic City rules so that does not work. You guys,

I forgot to mark my agonizer, scorchial. Wilk is going to try to attack the fish. But then they marked it after. He's not going to be able to hit the fish.

Oh, our goal. And Lil Peepers is up. He's going to stab back at the fish. And he will connect. Can't the fish, Can't the Kuoto like talk to the fish?

He skewers, a couple of them. So he does like take out some of the piranhas. They're piranhas, but he doesn't get them all. Spikoli's up. Is the wall still up? Yeah. Can try to muscle it or you can try to fight the fish. You've got twice.

Is that a viable? Is that a viable? I just told Christy would probably not succeed. Yes. Never mind. You could firebolt the fish. True. You could try to fire bolt the fish.

We're just to kill it. With your passive insight there, Spacoli? Firebolt. There's churning piranhas in the water, but firebolt into the water is going to have limited effect. Who fought piranhas? Yeah, you'd be able to tell wouldn't do great into the water. White stretch on their first album.

And I fought piranha! And I fought piranha! the gold. Which one do you there, Brian? You want to stab the fish? With my stealing name? Yeah. Sure. Roll to stab.

Just can't kill the fish. You get to add a deep four to that. That would be a one, though. Oh. I don't know if that'll help. It looks like a seven to me. It is if you massage it a little bit. Can you do a D100 there, Brian?

Yeah. There's a one. It was slanted a bit. I don't know. I'd do 100. It's time for a box percent. Oh, yeah. Low, low, low, low. It's just slanted it was like this. Yeah, that shouldn't have counted.

Yeah, that's probably right. Oh, 82. Okay. That is going to be, you're going to be nasty. You will take 15 points of slashing damage as, It flies out of your hand and goes into the water. What, a sword? Mm-hmm.

Those fish. And we'll see what Blaine does on the next episode of America. We sure will. Get that sword back. Hey, Sam, what happens today? Episode 66, we're fighting a litch queen who's toppling everything down around us, and Ken just killed the giant crab. Yay.

Hooray. Bring the butter. I got nothing to plug. What you got, y'all? Crab good butter? Yeah, I guess so. Lobster is. Lobster, definitely.

Always. I don't have, I'm lobster crab blind, so I can't tell the difference. Really? Yeah. Hey, I'm going to be appearing at the Sacramento Punchline at the end of April and first couple of days of May, opening for Bobcat Gold's Weight. Hell yeah. So if you're up there, come and see it.

It's going to be a good show. Sweet. That's incredible. We have the same birthday. But you and the punchline? Sacramento? Yes. Wow. I'm in Denver in May and

Springfield, Missouri in May, two weeks in a row with J.T. That's fine. Everstap. Because then I Brianpstein.com Blaine? We attribute the success

saved mankind from there. We're joining us on this episode. You got walls and a roof. It's time for a nerd, mail bag. I never thought I would be writing a letter like this. I was in a Hobby Lobby restroom having a pee when a hot pretty lady walked in on me, thinking it was the dressing room.

She started to put on some laundry made out of fruit roll-ups, but she saw me peeing and grab my throbbing three-inch cock. Should I try to get her number? We'll have your answer. No. On the next nerd poker. Thanks for listening to another episode of Nerd Poker. You can follow us at patreon.com slash nerd poker, and you get bonus episodes from there.

And you can also send us anything at P-O-Box 16069 and Sino, California, 911, thanks for listening.