Nerd Poker - The Fog Campaign - Episode 67

Episode Date: April 23, 2026

We're finally locked in combat with the Lich Thief Queen and this worm god / leviathan. Luckily our team has a CAT FISH. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com

Hey, it's Brian Possein. Nerd Poker. We're calling it. The Svald Campaign. My friends are here. Chris, Blaine, Ken, engineer Sam, and of course,

our kick-ass DM, Dan Telfer. Welcome to Nerd Poker. Hey, everybody, it's Brian Pousain. You're listening to Nerd Poker episode. Wow. We did 66 last time. What is the best one? Yeah, it's a sixth.

Yeah, it's 68. No, yeah. It's six. Seven. Oh, my God. Six, seven. Five. Riz.

Riz. Skimity toilet. I don't understand today's youth. Looks maxing. How do you do, follow kids? Right, guys? Chris, you totally moms.

I mean, all my friends are here. All of them. They're all around the table. Ken, Chris. Yeah, yeah. Hello. How do you do, fellow kids? Run the show from the cool part of the table as always.

Sam, everybody. Hello, sweetest children. Well, how about seven. Six, seven. Six seven. Excuse me. I was waiting to see if someone said it again. People forget you age a year every time someone does that bit around you.

That's a good movie. Benjamin Butthole. Hey, bring that TV back in the air so I can pitch. Folks. And by folks, I mean, folks. Folks. I really want to thank everyone who listens to the show, but especially the folks over at patreon.com slash nerd poker.

Oh, my gosh, you're keeping the show alive. And if you're at those top two tiers, you've got usernames like Cavill. Thanks, Cavill. Love to you as Cavalreen. Thank you. Come be a zookeeper. Is that a pun?

Or is it just the word come? It's saying, come with Zook, I don't remember. Oh. Come be a zookeeper. Wow, that's weird. My lord, Coombia Zookeeper. Oh, Kumbia Zookeeper.

It's like, okay. Thank you. Zookeeper. My name is Ames McKenzie, and I hate vans. The capital vans. Like, they have the letter vans. And I have a second floor. The shoes?

The shoes. Why? They're comfy. I know. They sponsored Warpter. Dang. How could you do that? To the suicide machines and no effects.

Thank you and this relies on a mispronunciation of Litch but thank you Lick S. Lee, never going to give you up nerd poker. Thank you

Luke the Husbatron Jib Javis Prime Thank you Randicles, thank you WV French Fried Thank you Numi Thank you Bronson Pinchot's Above Ground Pool

Thank you Prehawk and still get you pregnant Oh man Thank you A cab for cutie Just remember it how Prehael went

It's the prequel to he-ha. Do you remember playing? I remember. Do you remember when you said the joke backwards? I remember. The perfect joke to say backwards? I remember it all. Let's take a look at that clip.

Like standing next to a NASCAR track right as a guy like flips and rolls. So good. So good. All right. Also, thank you, ACAP for QD. Thank you, David Flea Roth. Thank you, Jim Hollingsworth. And finally, thank you.

And this one goes out to United States of America. Two in the thoughts, one in the prayers. Hey, Blaine, who are these supporters brought to us by? Supporters brought to us by GZM Frapp Blotch. BZUB sets for Frank Agent Optimization. Say goodbye to open source cloud fart platforms. And hello to screen poop discount. Only with GZM Frabblorge.

Dan? Thanks, Blaine. I think we all know what magazine cartoonist that was brought to us by. Yeah, I stepped in some Don Marte on the way up the side. Clean your feet next time.

Point. Yeah, clean the point off your feet, please. You know what? If you want to have fun, you can always look up the Don Martin dictionary and there's a website that has every sound effect that ever did.

I love that. Sclazorch. There's a lot of syllables in some of them. Mostly he was known for his single syllables, but yes. Biggada, baggada, bigot, baggna, bigot, baga, bigotta, baggna, who can forget. Hush, hush, quiet, quiet, hush, quiet, hush, quiet,

hush, quiet, quiet, hush, quiet, hush. That's an Indian running through the woods. And then my favorite is, uh, oh, is a plastic man giving a guy on the 42nd floor, finger. Yeah, I know. It's funny, huh? Damn, hey.

It's time to talk about what happened last time. On Brian Loseyms, nerd poker. Our heroes decided they would go back the way they came, which made sense. There was a lot of shit going on like the dungeon exploding and, filling full of slime water. They nearly made it there, but due to a trilogy of botched athletics checks, they did not quite make it to the door.

Rubble fell down over the stairwell. So did Flintstone, and although they have partially moved one of the two large boulders, seawater has begun to seep into the room they are trapped in. And with it comes, dungeness and dragons and piranhas. Now go back to the turn order,

starting with Siam Spade. Oh, right. I'm going to once again try to push the rubble out of the way. Push it really good. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. No. I'm a little cat. Now, when you say you rolled a no,

do you mean you need to roll, you now need to roll like a 100-sided dying? No, I rolled a five. plus two. I'm entertained by how all of you guys, sometimes when you just roll low, you save yourself the dignity of having to say any numbers out loud.

But I do have to bless. True. So I'm going to, uh, who wants to live forever? Die! Oh, wait, that's the blessed spell. The Brian Blessed spell? Yes.

Thank you. Thank folks. Hashtag blessed. Well, we're going to get this crab corpse out of here because Shalab did slain. Who was it eating that? But now we are going to their eyes. We don't know, wait, there's lobsters.

One of these bad boys swim in through the crack in the wall. A cracking. A dragon. A large pleasiosaur slides through. Boeufet. A large pleaserer. Boeufet. Well, uh, that's cut.

That's unfortunate. Oh, he botches. That's nice. Good. Hopefully. Allow me to introduce him. Pleasiosaur. He tries to like rush L.L. Peebers and just slams into the wall and, like, cracks his neck.

Now he's pleasiosaur. Oh, my God. Who said the idiot? Hey. Dork Dash. Oh, God. Okay. And the piranhas are going to come up.

Little Peepers. Little Peepers is getting surrounded. Oh, Frankie. Frankie, the cutest weirdo sitting in Brian's chest.

The human eyes of the dog. God damn gorgeous house. Toranas will get little Peepers this time. We're having a great time talking about a cute puppy while the Peepers is getting chewed to death. I mean, to death.

To death. He gets nod on for 12 points. Ouch. Of damage. Oh, my way. Right. Listeners, Sam, we've got a good picture. All right.

Next in the turn, order, B. Shabre. Oh, hi. Hi. I will try and fucking move this shit. Oh, you know what? Move it real good. No, that's not going to do it.

Yeah, I'll just use my amazing strength. And destroy with your mighty, now, remember, it was reminding to you last episode, you do have a headbone attached to the top of your head. Yeah, but what does that do? It's attached to your neck bone. And your neck bones attach to your first cervical vertebra. I mean, what's your passive insight?

Oh, my passive insight is something I have to look up. It's 17. Hey! It's not going to help you move the boulder, but if it's a matter of everyone's squeezing through, you could use it to just pass right through. With everybody? Face or just you?

Oh. You could pull it from the other side. You could go last and you could just phase through. You don't have to spend a turn doing a squeeze-through athletics track like everyone else. Then I will attack the fish. Great. Would you like to the piranhas then? Yeah, the piranhas.

They're fish, right? Roll to piranha. Gonna do it. Gonna do a... Do it real good. I'm gonna do a firebolt. I wish you would try. It would be so funny to see you do it.

I got plus eight to that shit. Wow. So that might, that was two plus eight. Uh, well, that's a 10. Ava bless. Oh, yeah, don't forget that. Oh, let me do it, snatch. Plus one.

Hmm. So that's 11. Unfortunately, the swarm of piranhas has an armor class of 13 Fucking hell Jesus Christ Vodges and Dragons Beyond.com Do they all have helmets?

I'm going to use the real dice from now on because of this digital dice from bullshit You look at my bare leg It feels crazy Can't stop looking at his bare leg Anything else for your turn, Thomas? What were you doing? Were you like stabbing at them?

Is that what the move was? Bucky of the air leg. Sure. So I'm going to just move your tooping closer to that. Oh yeah, make me closer. He's bipolar. I will stop. Brian came at the lane again, everybody.

He'll have a fake gun to his head. I'm going to, I'll do the help again. Right, great. So you're placed for the next VE fellow. Yeah. And I'll maintain my concentration on the blast. Cool. Well, then up next, here comes glug.

Beef, food. Bifer. Yeah, so he's going to take the high roll, which is going to be a 24. Yeah, dude. So he's going to... Beef it. This boulder is gone.

Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Don't befer. You all have a choice now. You can either do an athletics check to squeeze through the opening, or you can do an athletics check to try to push the second boulder out of the way. Ooh.

Hmm? Who's up next? Whoever's up next, but the Kuatollah's turn is going to include glub doing that, and Gulk getting ready for a help action. Nice.

So Little Peepers is going to botch. Oops. That's no good. I mean, that's with you today, Little Peepers. I mean. Oh, he just got nine, so he's not too shabby. He takes three points. Of piranha damage? Yeah. No, he's going to, like, nick his own leg

when he's trying to stab the piranha. Oh, my God. Coli's up. Coli, if you do want to try and push, you can roll the advantage. You've got Gold, the Kuwatoa, ready to help. Is it a strength chat or? Strongs. It's, it's athletics, yes, which is cousin to strong.

If you've got good strength, you got good athletics. That's how it works in this game. Ken, you're like a game detective. It's true. Roll a four for him. Since I was seven. I know I had advantage. Advantage you wrote twice and then I don't know.

remember if you have like a bless on you or something. Yeah, but bless is it. What are you rolling? Athletics. It's not for, it's only for like attacks and not saving gross. Still low.

My highest was a 12. Okay. Yeah. Unfortunately, that's not going to push it. We're looking for it. We're looking for 22 on the push. Same spades up. I'm also going to do

a push. Okay. Reminder. You can push or you can try to squeeze through. You're a little kitty cat. I can squeeze through. Cats can squeeze through anything. I'll squeeze through. Okay. So roll an athletic effect to squeeze that, which is going to be a lower check. Looking for an 18.

16 plus 2, 18. Nice. Yeah. And there's a bunch of my toys under here. You find three-selt mice and a pipe cleaner.

All right. And I'm going to bat them completely back under. So you've used your movement and your action, but you've only used like 10 feet of movement to squeeze through. Do you have like a bonus action or do you want to like run up the stairs and scout or anything like that? The water's like rushing past your calves right now. I'm going to scout and see what's up to the stairs. Let's get an investigation check.

I'm going to use my passive investigation of 21. Hey. Oh. Okay. So you dash up the stairs, not literally dashed like bonus. a section dash, but you, you know, rush up with the rest of your thing. Your cat, like agility, allows you to not be held back by the water as it rushes down the stairs. I love water.

Yeah. There is a hallway at the top of the stairs, and then you can see, like, at the end of the hallway, it's like water rushing through. It's narrow. It's a hallway that's only about five feet wide. But the water increases in depth as you look down the hallway. So right now it's at your cabs, but it's only because it's being bottlenecked at the end of the hallway. So you think the water level is much higher at the end of the hallway.

Okay. It might be close to underwater at the end of the hallway. Do I see a door at the end of the hallway? There wasn't a door so much as an opening. Okay. This is the way you came, so you'd like remember. All right. And do I think that the water is going through that opening?

Mm-hmm. So it's like a doorway like this, and water is just churning through. By the time it gets to you way over here, it's up to your calves, but up here it's like near the top of the... Is it like shining elevator kind of vibe? Yeah. Yeah, without the blood. It's just filthy poisoning water. Okay.

But wait, this is water, but poisoning water was coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like heavy poison. I mean, it's just gross water. Okay, but yeah, but not the poison. It's not as bad as if you had gone the other way, correct. That's what I'm saying. I'm thinking like, well...

Like back in the room, it's pretty nasty because the water's rushing down the stairs and coming through the walls and slime coming up. It's mixing, but yes, that's upstream, so it's not like completely polluted up there. It's cleaner up there. Let's do it. That was one of the reasons you did select that. And the water is coming towards me or towards the going towards the door. It's coming through the door at you and down the stairs behind you. Oh, I thought it was coming from this way.

Interesting. It's coming from all ways. You are deep, deep underground. It's a not every good see Miss Spielberg movie. Up here, somewhere, is above ground. There's ocean here, here, it's all coming in. For the listener, Dan is gesturing about three feet above the minis. Okay.

So this is like the tight and submersible about to happen down there. Oh, God. Don't tell Sarah. She'd set it on fire. We all know that. Up next in, the old turn order is going to be the jerk faces. The prions are going to try to bite it. little peeps again.

And fail. And the pleasious sort, not going to try. He broke his neck he's dead. No, he hurt himself. He didn't die. I heard he died. I made a wish.

Who told you? His work called me and said if I knew his emergency number, and I didn't have it. So, so like he's shit out of lock. Well, he only rode a 10 to bite, so fucking he missed.

And also, I didn't realize that he was in trouble like it worked. So, you know. He's having a really bad day. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, had a bad day.

People forget that song. It's about a pleaserious. That's right. They really always forget. I'll never forget. Shalab you're up. Hi. Hi, I'm an elephant.

Okay. That you never forget. I will fuck on those piranhas again. Fucking assholes. Cast some fire. Throw your cow. balls. I'm like, what?

Your cow. They'll devour it. What's your passive perception, Ken? 17. There's something in the water behind you. Is it a plesiosaur? No. Well, shit.

I'm still going to attack the piranhas. Okay. Get them off. 14 plus 8. I think it is. And you get a blast, too. Plus a million. He already had, so.

Yeah, well, I'll take it all. Eight. Nice. How would you like to see the piranhas die? Quickly. One by one. Suicide. Wow.

Inflate and pop. Like the mist. All right. So they are slinging. Suddenly there is a tug on your leg. Shalab. Can you please do a dexterity save and throw? Yes, I can.

Is it that little girl from? Monsters, Inc. Mr. Shalab. A little boo. A little boo. Oh. Hey, mister. That's a

14. All right. Was that a saving throw? Uh-huh. You get a, you're blessed, baby. That's right. That's right. Yeah.

What did I say? 14 plus 15. Great. You managed to steal yourself and don't get cold under. There is some kind of slimy creature grabbing at your leg.

It's all this shit in this room. Diagnoga. All washing us. God damn. I got so creeped out by how gross Luke when he was covered in garbage water in that movie. It was really gross. I was magneticly huge.

I bet it was gross on the day. Yeah. I heard of smell. I heard of smell early. Yeah. And the next scene, their hair's all feathered. Yeah. They look great.

That's the 70s. That's the 70s. I'm going to squeeze through this opening. It's a crucial fact. Yeah, I'm just terrible at athletics. I will instead help the next person. If Glug wants to try and take another shot at this thing, I'll give him, I'll, because maybe that'll help us get through.

Any bonus action and stuff you want to do? I don't have that. Help me make it through the hole. Ooh. He doesn't crit, but he does get a 26. Sweet, sweet. So, the second boulder is half misledged and half pepperoni.

If someone else, if anyone can get a 22 athletics check on the second boulder, it'll be completely pushed out of the way. Nice. It still takes an athletics check of 18 to squeeze through the opening. Next is going to be Little Peepers, who is stabbing at Pleasiosaur. I saved you, Little Peeperth. Oh, I think you. So he is going to hit.

Please start looking pretty fucked up. Good. Yeah. As he just goes, with his rapier and dagger. With his what? His rapier and his dagger. Cut, cut, cut.

You know the noise? Cuck, c, cut, cut. No vowels? All case. Oh, that doesn't sound good. All case? No, forget. Yeah, don't know.

As long as it is more or less than three. I feel like you're hurting right feelings when you say stuff like that. I love this. Oh. Spacoli's up. Oh, shit. We are one athletics check of 22 to push the border out of the way,

or an athletics check of 18 to escape. You're going to go for it? Yeah. Well, Gulk can let you roll the advantage. He is holding his help action, the sorcerer Kuatoha. Oh, shit. What's your bonus to athletics? Just three, 18.

It's close. You get to roll the advantage, so you can try that again. Oh. Then you have a bless as well. Oh, yeah. Wait, what's your, yeah, roll your bless, too. Four.

Yeah. Die. Dun, da, dun, da, dun, da, dun. So it's just barely not enough on the first show, but the second roll you might still get that. Roll the bless and then roll an advantage. Oh, nice. Oh, nice.

What that do it? Yeah, that will do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not good at math, right? Spacoli, the leader of the group, reaches up and shoves the hole around the way. Water is rushing down faster,

but the stairwell is now open. I would assume you would use Brian your movement to just run up to stair and catch up to Sam Spade. Sure. Okay. He'd add all. And he's got... Because you're a rogue,

you've got bonus action dash, so you actually can... Yeah, you can book it down the hallway, Brian. It makes some serious headway against that water. In the hallway. Simon Spade, you're up. I am going to You see Spicoli like rush up to you

I'm going to alter self rush Ooh and give myself some gills Hell wow I'm going to say you should turn yourself into a dog man I want to hear I'm going to look it up on my end

just for pedantic sake but can you tell listeners what alter self does I don't think you've used that before I assume a different form I can choose one of the following options, which will ask for the duration of the spell. Aquatic adaptation. I adapt my body to an aquatic environment,

sprouting gills and growing webbing between my fingers. I can breathe underwater, gain a swimming speed equal to my walking. You're Patrick Duffy. And sci-fire fantasy has there ever been like a wet cat? Has there been, you know, to me, like a cat, humanoid fish, cats have never been underwater. Well, that's what I mean, that I'm just saying. One fish, two fish, red fish.

redfish, bluefish, there's some catfish. I do feel like, yeah, that's, people just associate cats with, like, being afraid of water because of that old wives tale, so they're probably, like,

reticent, but there's the whole catfish, like, pun. Like, there's got to have been super natural. Right now on the catfish, so I'm going to try to,

uh, I'm going to try to lure some police detectives to the park. Fun. Are there, like, murcats? I actually, it's murkats. It's what we're trying to get mere cats.

That's it. No, that's his cures. Her tobacco. Or I'm almost just like in fantasy art. Like big eye, like cat-eyed, but they are aquatic. Like, it's interesting. Like, how would you do that without?

The very darn it, the mare cats? Sure. Yes. Oh, yeah, mirror cats, yeah. They stand up and look around. Nathan Lane. I'm going to have gills, but I'm also going to have my fur is going to be matted down. I'm going to have that pissed off Persian cat look on my face.

And I'm going to pushy face. And you can have just turned into a maim coom. I beg your part. It's a aquatic cat Giant cat Mancun They're good cats There are mythological and folklore

aquatic cats Japanese one is called A Nikomata Oh, they're delicious Niko for cat A type of cat That can transform Often associated with water wetlands

And sometimes depicted With two tails Whoa Whoa, well, well There's also an underwater pancer In Native American What the hell It's a water lynx

Known as a Mitu Peshoe Dang. Can you send me that, links? No. Because you made that job, I refuse. Cool.

That sounds awesome, though, Siam Spade. Here come the monsters. There is going to be a pleaser once again, biting.

So you're going to see little peepers go, I have not many more hit points. I am being chewed by everything. And then the jelly creature

is going to try to smack you jelly creature oh oh 16 hits 16 maybe it's jelly

this cabbage we've found the recent Scientology wife you're fired you take 13 acid damage please roll a dexterity savings Oh my goodness Oh my goodness

gracious I mean Blaine's really pushing the limit This whole lot So I'm on a jelly That's a 22. Nice. You match not falling in water, but that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a natch 20 oh plus two I mean you definitely don't fall down now

it's not as big a deal of stress saving girls but it's still think the third 13 is a saving throw damage oh did he get stung everybody pee on I don't pee on myself it is a jelly but it is not a jelly fish let's take a look so he's in kind of more of a jam Dammy Dam's. For me. You're fine. Jesus Christ.

Blaine is now just doing a take to Brian in anticipation of this punishment. Oh, what? Okay. It's better like my Jesse Bingman. Last we do this. Well, can I see the thing that's attacking me? Yeah, yeah. It was a big fucking slime in water.

I'm a gentleman. It's an oak. this thing. Oh, ochre. I'm gonna fucking ochre. I'm gonna fireball this thing, too. O'Kermynchella.

Oh, my God. Right. Wouldn't need the talcum pattern. Let's see. What else? Yeah, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna do the, the, um,

the firebolt again. It's underwater. Okay, then I'm going to do a, how about a sorcerer's burst? Do a toaster bolt. Oh, I can do four. Hmm. Is lightning working one?

Probably kill us all. It would have effects. Yes. Psychic damage. There it is. There it is. I'm a psychic damage. But do, uh, but do, uh,

ocher jellies have a mind to do psychic damage to it? Oh my God. What can do this? Um, that's a great question, actually, because I am pulling it up for a moment of, interesting. If they were impervious to. The psychic damage. That would be interesting.

Um, what's your passive insight? 10? Oh, no, 13. You're pretty sure they're not immune to it, but they are immune to a lot of things. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Jesus. They grew up in the streets.

Neener, neanor upon you. Body shame it. Body shame it. So, okay, just to be clarified, I guess your character would kind of know this. I mean, you would have resistance to fire damage if it is underwater. So, I mean, all damages have.

You could do firebolt. It could hit, but it would be going through water and basically like, you know. How about this? Oh, it's less damage, though. I'm going to try psychic damage. Do it. Go for it.

So is that a saving throw? Or is that a... I'm just rolling, yeah. 17 plus 8. That's so much of a hit. The AC on ochre jelly's stink. They're immune a lot, but they have an AC of 8. That's good.

That's like the lowest I think you can have a... Right? I'm trying to come over the joke about how it. Jelly. Woof. Oh. Two points of damage. Oh.

Wow. 2D8. You utterly destroyed. Just kidding. Wow. 2D8 and there's two points of damage. I mean, you're,

you're a more of a detective. He's up because he almost said firebolt, and he didn't select fireball because it would do a small amount of damage. He would have done two ones. That was really. He would have done one. Is it the same dice? No.

Source at first is D-8 and fire damage D-10. I'm sorry, Shalob. Cockadoodle. Ding-dong. The hole is now open? Yeah, it's fully goatseed. Yeah. I beg a part.

Fully goatseed? What is that mean? That's when you... Sam, do you want to tell Chris? I will at the end. It's a terrifying meme that Sam was... G-O-T-S-E dot com. Oh.

Don't go there, folks. Oh, boy. Everyone's learning on this episode. I'm going to have a lemon part. It's going to be great. I'm going to... Six-seven. Everybody knows going to be six-seven.

What's right? What's his name? What's his name out of the water? The little pleasiosaur? Yeah. Yes. I can shoot him? Yes.

The water is getting high, but you can totally shoot him. I will try and zap it. I will zap it. I'll zap it with a ray of frost. I bet to the water walked in him. And it is a nice. 10 plus 919 to hit that's a hit

2D8 cold damn it send it back to the Ice age buddy yeah was that with the Red Romano twice in that everyone loves this 13 cold damage

nice how would you like to see the Pleasiosaur die I want to see it like Ice Age I want it to freeze like a hilarious John Liguizamo character and then just fall into the water, and then I'm going to use my movement to run

into the flow of the water up the stairs. Nice. So you're going to get up there a fair. Nice, nice, nice. I love which many you're using for this. Is it, is it, it's really heavy? It's a metal. It's a, yeah, it's a friend fell.

I bought it off the other end of, it's a fucking cool as long time. I can't remember the, I remember I credited him what I got. I remember the artist's name out of my head. Oh, good. Nice. In England. Yeah, it's like a neckromancer, but it's very clearly

Vincent Price. That's awesome. Romancing the neck. Folks. Remember that with Michael, uh, what's his face? No, I, no. No one remembers. Get me a turner.

Yeah. I'm romancing the song. Remember how insanely popular that movie was? Yeah. I'm surprised it hasn't had like a resurgence or a rebooting. Somebody did a parody version of that song. Going gets tough. Remember for the second one?

The going gets tough. And they were all singing in the video, Danny DeVito. Listeners, there was a time when movie stars had to appear in the music video of the pop song that was accompanying their 80s film. Daniel Day Lewis and the news. so that both Kuatua and little peepers, all three of them rush over to the slime. The only thing currently in the room is the water is starting to get up to your neck. Thank you.

And they all just start... Yeah. It's pretty fucked up, but it is still there. God damn it. Spicoli is up. Spicoli, you're going to keep rushing down the hallway? Yes, sure. Cool.

Do you want to use your dash action to get farther? Sure. It is rough terrain. So you use your dash and... Remind me, Blaine, did you, like, get far down the hallway? I got up to the top of the stairs. I'm just going to wait for everybody else. Yeah, that's right.

You haven't, you haven't, like, run far. So, yeah, go ahead and run with him, Simon Spade. Do you want to, like, grabbing Spicoli? Because you can go a little farther than him with the aquaticness. Oh, nice. The end of the hallway is, like, you know, underwis. So if you want you can grab Spicoli and pull him through the end. So you want to do Blink.

Talk to the Blaine. It's your turn. Oh, uh, uh, sorry, I was typing something to myself that I'll use later. Uh, sorry, what are my options there again? Sorry. You see Spikoli run past you, but because you're up next, I'm allowing you to, like, grab him in your aquatic form and pull him all the way through the doorway. He's just going to have to take a big breath in. Do you, you guys still have the Kuatoua thing and lets you breathe underwater, though?

Then you have to quit? The helmets? Yeah. I'm sure. Oh, do we? Yeah, we obviously have them. Yes. Yeah.

It's not convincing what you're doing, but I do think you have them. I'm going to grab him and gesture to put his helmet on. Cool. And then I'm going to start to head towards the door with him. What's your passive perception? My passive perception is 20. Jesus. So you pull him through.

the water is about 20 feet above your head, the surface. On this turn, you're not going to be able to get up to the top of the water, but you and Spicoli can both kind of look up. It's pitch black, though. So you just sort of see like a tiny amount of refracted, like, it's almost just like light from the spells that have been lighting up down the hallway, just barely trickling through it because you have a passive perception. It's so high I'm giving you that you can sort of see it.

Okay. But it's very difficult to see. And you have dark vision, too. Do you get a swim speed because you're aquatic now? Is that a quality of... Yeah, he's walking. He's so great. Which is a lot of encouraging.

Yeah, absolutely. And then the ochre jelly is going to continue to try to hit you. Boone. I'm not a nice person. Oh, that's going to fail for sure. That's a six to hit. So it just splashes around a lot. water like a fucking idiot.

Yeah, stupid. Unless Ken, like, waggles its fanning. Sort of, like, taunting. Now, we've been talking a lot about Benny Hill today, which fanning? Do one on your tits? That's my drag name, Kit Fannie. All right, so that doesn't make sense. Fanny tits.

Blacked out, where am I? How long is I out? Slogger up. God damn it was stupid. Water's up to your neck. It's going to rise up to you because you're last. Well, I'm getting out of here. The Kuotoa and Little Peepers are trying to help you cut.

Little Peeper's just treading water at this way. Does he have a breathing ability? Little Pea's. Yeah. Can he breathe underwater? He's a fucking elephant halfling. He's got that helmet. He can use his.

He doesn't help. Oh, does he have a helmet? Okay, that's what I was checking. Does our new helper have a helmet? What new helper? The fishman? The chance. Oh, it's a fish man.

Ken. Ken doesn't see species. You silly, silly, silly escort. I want to disengage and get out of you. You're so weight. He's very weak. Uh, so if you disengage actually, you're gonna be able to get like, like, five, ten, twenty, two, nine.

Three to five, six, swim speed? Swim speed? You have big and hit kid. My swim speed? I mean, I think an average character is half. Yeah. So walk speed is like what? Uh.

My walk speed is 30 feet. Oh, wait. You can just do the astral plane move. I mean, sure. I'll use that. Can I go all the way out? Yeah, you can get pretty far. I mean, you can get like past where Chris would be.

All right. Yeah. Phase shifting now. All the NPCs are like, what? That guy's cool. All right. You got to run up the hallway and just out? Run, run, run.

I mean, I've definitely wanted to keep. an eye on the other guys. I feel like I'm an asshole. Yeah. So before it's even Little Peppers has turned, the two Kuatohas smash the jelly up. Great. And so that's gone. They're going to grab Little Peepers. You guys all rushed

through. Now, Blaine, are you going to wait for everyone to get the doorway? Or are you going to just try to swim to the surface? You're out of combat. I'm going to kind of try to wait for everyone to, and maybe, oh, you know what I'm going to do? I have the, uh, the wand

of pyrotechnics, and I'm going to use the wand of pyrotechnics to sort of let everybody know that I'm down. Great. Oh, cool. Can I get an athletics check from everybody? Athletics, you said. Yes. We totally have got it well-bred. Sure.

So the NPCs have it under control amongst themselves. 15 plus 3.8. 7 minus 1.6. Hmm. What'd you get, Wayne? Oh, sorry. Athletics check. Thank you for apologizing. 15 plus 2, 17. Cool.

Nicole, what you get? 14 plus 3, 17. Great. She's only 17. No. I know. It's terrible. It's really gross.

So. It didn't age well. You guys are, you guys are going to be able to swim in the surface. You do, however, here's like this heavy churning in the water. water. Oh. So much to make it butter. The, well, it is.

The water is, the water is flooding journey in the water. The water is flooding this massive chamber and the water level is rising. The Kuatawa will tell you, all right, we think we can find the opening, but it's something in the water with us. Oh, 100%. Something very large. Oh, I was going to say the lit. Oh, it's fucking, what's the fucking centipede worm god.

And we'll have to see if it's the centipede worm god on the next episode of 6-7. Sam, what happened today? Episode 67, Chris killed a pleaserore. Little Peepers has been captured by the Qatowa and Goatze. And Goatzy, often associated with the domain GoatS.E.CX, was a notorious internet shock site that emerged in the late 1990s, becoming one of the earliest and most infamous viral images and memes. The site's main image frequently titled Hello.JPEG showed a hunched over naked man using both hands to stretch

his anus and rectum to an extreme degree. The image is an example of shock of shock culture designed to cause visceral, disgust, and shock. To what end? Internet used to be fun. Exactly. She's Christ.

30 years ago. All right. Yeah. Sam, thank you. Darkestwinsie.com. How do you, fellow, kids? Blaine, is your show yet? I'm going to be at the Sacramento Punchline with Bobcat

at the end of April, beginning of May. Come and see it, please. In May, I have Comedy Works in Denver with J.T. Habersat, I think, like, December through the 9th. And then the following weekend, I'm in Springfield, Missouri, just Friday, Saturday shows. and then here's other shit coming up Brian Jussain.com

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