Nerd Poker - The Fog Campaign - Episode 75

Episode Date: June 18, 2026

Now that we're back on the ground, it's time to tidy up this heist business and celebrate! Unless, well, we want to do something about the swarms of possession worms first? Maybe? For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com

Hey, it's Brian Possein. Nerd Poker. We're calling it... The Fog Campaign. My friends are here. Chris, Blaine, Ken, engineer Sam, and of course,

our kick-ass DM, Dan Telfer. Welcome to Nerd Poker. Hey, everybody. Brian Pesang, and you're listening to Nerd Poker. It's episode 75. Wow. of the fog campaign.

We did it. No thanks to Spicoli, but we're still kind of in some shit. Well, no, we're out of some shit, but we still have like zero hit points. But let's see what happens. Thanks for listening. Here's my friends, Blaine.

Hey, hi. Chris. Hey, Brian, we got a long rest. So I think you can allay your feet. years about those hit points, friend. Good, good. And then we've got a Ken here. And it's not shit, it's mud.

And, and two-to. Running the show from the cool part of town. As always, it's Sam, everybody. Hello, sweet resting children. Hello. Nice. We should just jump right in

and thank some people, right? Yeah, we really ought to. Thank you for those of you who support us on Patreon and keep the show going. On this, as they've noted, as Brian noted, they've won. Everything's great. Nothing could go wrong. But this is episode 75 where we have supporters we shout out at our top two tiers of support that go. Well, you know, before I say this one, Blaine, I'm going to do a setup.

And then in a doctor, it would voice, when I'm done, can you say, get your beans as like a stinger? Okay, because that's the way it's written out. And it'll be a lot there's, okay. Dr. Uid's lean mean green beans. Get your beans. That was for you. Thank you, Pish Posh, Pagosh. Thank you, Lord for my two nutsacks.

Thank you, a Chad that doesn't suck. Thank you, Matt Worley. Thank you, the real reason Drew Carey is so mad at Blaine. Celebrity family feud my ass. Oh, no. Thank you, Shirely. Shakira, when the walls fell. Thank you, war anus.

Oh, boy, I saw War Anus open for Faith No More. Thank you. Mark P. Strandberg. Thank you, Kevin Hitt. Thank you, Kevin Leota's magical mail cart of rage. Thank you, M.C. Hoo-ha. That is, I believe, a freestyle rapper who does all Al Pacino dialogue. Thank you. Todrick, Hot Doggins, the third, and a quarter.

Esquire. And finally, thank you, hotel room, cuck chair. Thank you, hotel room, cuck chair. Blaine, who are those supporters brought to us by? Supporting brought to us by food. Eat it, excreed it, repeat it. You need it, so eat it. Food from the makers of drink.

And boneless lucky charms. Pink ribs, yellow jaws, orange, coxics, green skulls, blue vertebrae, and purple boners. Always after me, boneless lucky charms. They're boneless lucky charms. They're bonelessly delicious. Dan. Thanks, Blaine. I just want to be clear.

We have a supporter whose Patreon name is hotel room cuckchair. I didn't just want to thank my own personal hotel room cutchair. Do you have one? No, no. I've been shopping on Facebook Marketplace, though. You've got to bring your own. The cuck chair scene hasn't been the same since Brookstone closed. Come on a cup chair factory.

I feel like we're just glossing over when Blaine said, purple boners. Yeah. Wait, what? It's not really a bone, but it's a funny thing. I'm just saying. I don't write them. I just read them.

Plus, you can turn any chair into a cut chair. It's just the way you treat it. Yeah. It's a chair that just watches you hanging out on the couch. When I was a freshman in high school, everyone was still really hoping that I would be a professional basketball player. And I was on an intramural basketball team of my high school. school and you got to name your own intramural

teams and someone on my team wanted us to be named the purple-headed warriors it took me 15 years before I realized what that was supposed to meet the bell ends I'll tell you what school administration did not figure it out while the team

was active purple-headed warriors the wizarded hard-offs good joke there Joe Salinger from my high school oh that guy yeah Joe Sallinger class of 1996 Homewood Flossmore. All right.

It's time to talk about what happened last time on Nerd Poker. Our heroes exploded into the sky and then upon the wings of a hexacodorus descended barely to the ground. After a weak sushi breakfast,

they gathered with Fender Strat over at a dry hotel whose downstairs tavern served warm eggs, bacon and deals, deals, deals. Fender Strat is here

on behalf of the Thieves Guild to talk about purchasing some of your goods. Can we have a quick moment before we actually go face to face with her, Dan? Yes. To talk about what we're willing to offer us? If you have a, yeah, so like if you want, she can like be waiting inside the medium pier, the name of the tavern. Sure. How everyone do it.

So she goes and waits inside. Can I actually, while you're out in the street, can I have everyone roll a perception check? Yeah. Oh. Now my understanding is those are important perception perception perception

17 12 perception perception song to like get it open perception perception

perception yeah he'll like de die roll it live it perception perception man when you're into perception

Here's how it goes. You have to be quick, so stay on your toes. With the plunger down, set the timer. Put the pieces in place. Don't be slow with perception. You've got to move up. 24, Dan. Nice.

You're right. That is a great show that Mary Lynn Rice Cub was on. But what did you roll? 24. Oh, yeah. The three of you guys who are not Spicoli don't really notice this, but you all kind of, you know, look around. and note that the morning is cutting through the fog a little more than usual.

And Spicoli, you notice, not only is it cutting through the fog, but you can kind of tell the flow of the fog, this dense green fog that has been all but opaque most of your time in Dells, but is slowly like rolling in the same direction. You can sort of see little, what do you call like a mini puffy part of fog, kind of like a cloudlit. A wisp. A whisp, thank you, a whisp.

I'm adding an H. It is kind of like rolls past your face, Brian, and you can tell the fog is rolling north, and then you look down and you see a worm kind of following the fog in the northerly direction of the rich part of town. You guys are still on the south side town, kind of southeast. The little mouse on the little, it looks like a, you know, wherewolf Bart Simpson, the map of Delsmouth, you're kind of along the lower jaw teeth right now, and you're seeing this worm kind of like wiggle on the ground north, and it is one of the weird grub-like worms

that has a little face. But Spicola, you just see it for a moment as it's goots. Don't like them. You all start your conversation unless you want to do something else. Can somebody turn into a bird and go eat it? I mean, yes. I think what it means is we're not done. Yeah, there's no worm. There'd be worms. Maybe these fuckers took over the city are

just more fucking worm worshippers. I wanted to say before we go in like I could give because Brian's the head of the thieves guild and she's here

negotiating behalf of the thief's guild shouldn't Brian just be able to go I want the best prices right? I mean, yeah. Aren't we like negotiating against us the plank ourselves so my thought was brian i would give you bardic inspiration to help you

out in terms of like negotiating if you have to make roles or something like that but it seems like the plank should be able to right does that make sense name his own price or at least they're not going to turn and fuck him over right right or if they are i mean we tried that but no when selling the robot. Well, we were trying to get a good deal as he was trying not to give us a good deal. Yeah. Now, Brian's in charge.

Let's do it. Is it good with everyone? Great. Yeah, okay, so I will give you Bartic inspiration. Help me with shit, though. Do we know all of our items that we have? Yeah, you may want to go over that real quick, because last episode we were a little confused

about what was in our inventory. I can confirm whether or not you picked something up, but I can't tell you who has what. Yeah, I can tell you things that I have. Yeah? A cursed skull wand. Hmm. Mithelar stone cape. Oh, that's good.

Mithril stone cape, I mean. Let's see. Shield of Middle Attraction. Nice. A Veterans cane that turns into a long sword. Oh, that's fun. And I think we'll keep the cartographer's map case. Unless we...

We'll see. Intelligence plus two book. We like that. And that's all I see. Oh, illusionist bracelet, bracers, the boots of springing, the necklace of prayer beads. All this stuff, right? do you does it

as a sorcerer can is intelligence a big stat for you would that intelligence plus two book be better served by giving one of us plus two intelligence

let me see what my intelligence is and it's yeah I mean I've got a plus three and it's 16 so

if somebody else needs it oh I'm to say does that is that spell casting thing? Like, does that help you as far as you being a magic guy?

Because that would make sense to me to help put that, unless somebody else. Because they're both thieves, so I think they're more decks-based. Yeah, I mean, I can, you know, I can read it. Dan, is that right? Would that help out?

Character-wise, it seems like Ken would benefit the most from plus two intelligence? Yeah, I believe so. I'm looking... I don't know if it's wisdom or intelligence. That's the...

Oh. I thought you said plus, too. Sorry. Intelligence. Yeah, yeah. No, I'm just saying I don't know whether it's wisdom or intelligence that's more important to it. Oh, for you? For sure.

I believe you are a wisdom. I don't think intelligence... It's not a thing. Okay. It's not as much of a thing now. It's usually wisdom or charisma or castors. All right. Well, if it doesn't...

directly benefit it like that. Maybe we should do it. So I'm sure. Unless McCulley, do you want to get plus two intelligence? Sure. But what's the reasoning behind it? By the way, let me back up a little bit. Sorcerer uses charisma. There it is. It says wizards artificers. One of our magic items, Brian, can give somebody plus two intelligence. So we're trying to figure out like we're thinking about Ken, what about you? Is one of you Arcane Trickster?

Arcane Tricksters do use an intelligence modifier. Oh, Blaine, do you know what kind of thiefy you are? I am. Brian's an Arcane Trickster? Maybe not. I don't know. I feel like either I was

or Giznad was. Well, Gizanad's a bard. Sorry, let me check this out. I'm a rogue subclass thief. Oh, yeah, I am an arcane trickster. Hey, all right. How about that? Then you might want that.

It will help what spells you do cast. Okay, because my intelligence is already 17. You have to brag. Right, but it would potentially then be 19. If you get plus two, it'll knock your bonus up higher. So that means for all your magic stuff, you're adding to your bonuses. Okay. You guys exist.

Yeah, semi-permanently. It's not permanent? Semi-well, just it gets you unattuned to it. Very well. Maybe we'll hang on to that. So you'd be beyond the maximum. You do have a certain number of attuned thing. Well, the maximum, no, I mean, you're 19.

That's not at the maximum. Yeah. Anybody else have stuff to sell? Blaine, do you have anything in your inventory or Brian? I've got that key room that we can get rid of, a wand of pyrotechnics that has a couple of charges left. You know she is vaguely interested in the key room, but that it would be four parts.

Sure. A rot of alertness never used. I got a bloodshed blade that I'm going to keep that. Baby shoes, never worn. Yeah, we'll get some baby shoes. Do we have any of the weapons she was asking about? It seems like she was pretty... What was she asking about?

Some magical weapons that were... We had a map to... I don't we still have a map that we did not pursue. There's the... But I think one of the magical weapons that we got from the thing is fuse to Ken's back. Yes. Bloodstone short sword Blaine has

Blaine, okay So maybe she wants that All right Well There's a morning star In here somewhere The adamantine javelin Oh

Veterans cane That turns into a long sword Yeah Okay Well Brian do you have anything In your inventory That sounds worth I mean I guess you already have

The adamantine javelin Is that your big thing? Yeah And I'm holding on to that Yeah all right well let's let's should we go inside i'll give you bardic inspiration and uh you got this yeah let's do i'm kind of still don't i'm sorry i don't understand what i'm asking for and what i'm doing well she's kind of wish somebody else would take the lead but happy i'm happy to help i just

i feel as though your presence is going to be important all right his presence will communicate that you guys have the plank of delzmuth with you and will command a certain asking that is ideal, but she's still an emissary, and there's no one else from the multi-city thieves guild here other than her. Let's get an insight check from everybody. All right. 22. What is she really saying?

19. 20. I believe I got a 19. Well, I will give this to Shalab at a 20. If anyone else can be a 20 and make me put some salt on this prize. Yeah, it's a 22. All right. 22.

Oh, thank you. I missed that. Well, I heard it. My brain lost it immediately because I have a broken brain. But, but yes, Shalab and Siam, you can kind of piece together from everyone having had this conversation. Twitten brought it up. Joffrey is, of course, in a position that will give you a bit of stature. Fen Der Stratz is a member.

of the thieves guild, but not as far as you have seen an officer of the thieves guild. So she has not necessarily said that she is here on behalf of like a larger organization. She is meeting you because she wants to buy it. It's possible she might want to fence it for another price. So you might want to be wary of her offers. This just might be the only offer you get on this campaign to buy some of this stuff as a fence. Oh, okay. And it's up to us to figure out what is good.

and what's bad? You mean, she just might not give you the best possible price. I'll be having everyone roll persuasion checks or if they make the pitch themselves. Copy that. All right. How about in case anybody wants to try and pitch stuff, I'll give Bartic inspiration to Ken and Blame as well.

So everybody has a D8 in their pocket. They can add to a roll if they feel they need to. Cool. But, you know, I'm pretty charismatic, so I'm happy to handle some of that stuff. Ken, you're of Super Charisma also. Yeah. So what do we want to sell?

Let's see what she says. If you want to go up the list, or do you want to just start going over stuff in front of her? Sounds like you've all got a few things who are just sort of mulling over still. Well, it would be nice to, because she was like, you know, I understand you have some artifacts or some weapons or stuff like that. Let's find out what she's looking for. Yeah, why doesn't she? And maybe we can figure out what we've missed. And she did tell you weapons, particularly, but artifacts.

for this sort of secondary thing she mentioned. So weapons and artifacts are her top priority, but she might be into something else. Cool. You guys will then head into the medium pier and find her at a boost. It is much warmer in here than it is outside. There's still a chill in the air from the fog,

even though the sun is starting to make its first appearances in years here in Delsmith months. But, yeah. Dan, when you were describing the fog before, it doesn't seem different. It doesn't seem different. It does. It does seem different. It is thinner.

It's thinner and it's rolling north towards the wealthy part of town. And you saw a worm sort of following it. It didn't dissipate, but it is thinner. Thinner. Weird. Okay. Well, let's do it. Yes, I ran my fingers across your face as I said, thinner.

So you guys head into tavern. Find her at a corner booth. It is near the fire and the bar. You bring some food to yourselves. will say maybe you just cost all of you one gold piece to get a breakfast here total. So you want to like dock that from the party inventory. One gold piece for breakfast? For everyone's breakfast together?

Yeah, for five people if you're letting little peepers be a part of the bill. I'm used to the prices in Japan. Sorry. Oh, my God. We all ordered Toe-Laron from the hotel mini bar. Oh, dude, don't do that. I just picked it up. Would you like to sell me from your little stash, everyone? I'm going to, well, we'll tell her what we have.

I know I added the German Z sound to the L. I don't know what that was. Yes, shut up. Tell her or show her what we have. Why don't you do one by one, put stuff on the table? Sure. Ask her what she wants. Let's get someone daring to make a choice.

What are you going to put out there? You know, I'll put out that ruin key that she's already seen. I'll put out the cursed potion of skeleton, the cursed potion of wear shark, the cursed potion of inside out, inserted being, hmm, seems like an interesting way to handle enemies, possibly establish a reputation of one not to be messed with. Interesting. I would be willing to buy everything I see in front of me. Oh.

What about the shield of middle attraction? I'll put that out there. Interesting. The Mithril stone cape. Very well. Why don't we go one by one? Yes, I said, one by one, you did everything at once. Let us lead with something.

Well, right now, now that you've seen everything, you're a real dog-piland kind of group. Now she's seen everything. I'd like to detect thoughts. Oh, okay. So the surface level thoughts before you opt or not to dig deeper that you detect is she's very curious about everything, but in a shrewd mindset and not feeling unusually or enthusiastically generous. But you can tell she's curious about everything. So there's nothing in particular she's focused on?

She did get a little surprised by the potions. They seemed a little unusual to her particularly when you said wear shard she was like, interesting. Okay. The cape maybe? What should we begin? Zicane? The cape?

What is our cape do? What is that C-A? Yeah, tell us about the cape, Ken. What is that cape? It's mithril. Yeah, what does it do? It's a mithril. Stone cape?

Yeah. Does it turn you into mithril stone? Does it work as a defense? I don't know, actually. Let's see. Dan, do you know, or should... I'm looking at...

Do you a check. Y'all have me do the things I said you should do. I apologize. There are some things I might have needed to make and forgotten. I don't think so, though. is it possible I said cape of the mountebank

that sounds familiar Blaine had that in a previous adventure oh wait a mithril a mithril shirt was that maybe what it was Ken I don't know what I wrote was

stone cape you got it when you went to see methral If we can't find it, should we move on? Yeah, why don't we come back to that one? Make a note that I am, she's going to come back to that one. She was talking about the veterans cane? Yes, the veterans came.

Yes, I mean, to have a... It turns into a sword. It's a cane, then turns into a sword. Whoever is pitching it sounds like it might be Ken Get us a persuasion check All right And I know we threw round bardic inspirations to everybody Except for Twiddin

Right What's that dice bonus that he would get Twitin If he wants to do that Believe it's a D8 Big D8 So you can save that You can bank it or you can use it now And he gets to decide whether or not

But he can decide after the roll Right right I got a 19 I think I'm okay okay it's very good I can afford to pay you right now

up front 30 gold pieces how about 35 all right I can do 35 interesting can we huddle up three soon just out for a second

I'm like what do we think 35 is that something good does everybody know How much that sounds like to me? It's a lot of money. I mean, but yeah, but I mean, it's like a magic sword. Like, is that actually... Did we have any sense whether or not that's worth it?

Is that a blue book? What's everyone's passive insight? 20. 20. Nice. What's the role, guys? Passive insight is 17. Mine is...

God, my vision is so shitty. right now. It's, Brian, I can look at it. It's on your character sheet on the left. 12. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, everyone with higher than the 15 would say 35. Should I roll inside?

Okay. Terrific. We're just doing passive right now. Okay, cool. Great. She takes the cane and slides it onto her side of the booths and slides you 35 gold, but keeps a finger on it and says, if you like, we can set this to this side. and we can talk a large, perhaps reduce it to platinum pieces when we are all done.

Yeah, but you've got that cane in your hand, so we should probably have the coins in ours. Roll persuasion check there, Chris. Nice. Persuasion check. You got this. 26. Wow. Yes, of course, of course.

She slides you 35 gold pieces. is seven little stacks of five. And there's lots of bad guys watching exchange gold for magic items, right? Maybe we should do it under the digital. Honestly, you guys had great instincts to do this at a tavern in the morning. There's not a lot of people here. Yeah, people who stay the night might order something, but the town is largely abandoned tourist-wise.

So you're giving the medium-pure business. More people might be coming now that the fog is rolling a little thinner. But, yeah, pretty abandoned right now. You've just got the guy who brought you your food who's still behind the bar kind of tidying up. All right. Next on the block. Do we do that bundle of exciting potions? Sure. Which potions do we have here? I know I heard this Wehrark. What else do we have now? Wershark. A curse potion of Wearshark. A cursed potion of skeleton, a cursed potion of, I guess, I'm calling it inside out.

That's how you described it to us, is that it was. Yes. And as you put these on the table, are you telling her exactly what they do and that they will bring a curse on you if you drink them? Well, that's what I was saying. It was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, I don't want to. I mean, she works. She's Brian's what? Like sub. She's like a director of Brian's. Well, she works at Brian's company. The Thieves Guild. I don't want to mess her unless, I will look at the Spicoli and be like,

right we're working together with her right boss yeah yeah these are very very interesting why don't you roll a persuasion check uh chris persuasion 17 oh wait i'm wrong uh it it's because i have that thing uh that jackval trait i have that thing where if i roll i shouldn't just say that I have a feature and or trait. It's not jack of all trades. It is called silver tongue. When you make a charisma or perception checking, treat a D20 role of nine or lower as a 10.

So my minimum becomes, and my bonus is 13, so it's 23. Sorry, I forgot. Wonderful. That's very nice. And so Fenn's eyes would grow a little wide for a moment. when you describe each of them, she'll tell you, on one hand, no one will want these.

They are cursed. They're awful. You could not sell these to a temple or an auction house. I mean, a hag might not even want these, but to a thieves guild, the very individual, curious, you know, assassins might want this. They're very, very punishing fate for anyone who drinks this by mistake. I could do 6,000 gold pieces

for the loss Just a second Again, I'd love What do we do? I mean, guys, we could buy a thousand Uh healing portions Holy shit

Um That's good, right? Yeah I mean doing trying to bring her out for just Spicoli, what do you think? I feel like she's been on the up and up with us Yeah And she's probably

giving us already pretty good prices. Don't we want to kind of... To me, I'm like, let's stay in that zone with her as opposed to crushing her. Yeah, yeah. Because crushing her kind of leaves are like, why the fuck would I want to help these guys as opposed to...

Right? Does that make sense? Spicoli? Yeah, that makes sense. We want to keep your employee happy. Sure. Yeah. Happy employee is happy life. No, that's happy life, but anyway. Yeah, so...

Yeah, well, 6,000 sounds great, friend. Very well. Offer accepted then. She reaches into her purse, kind of like deftly, grab some coins, puts them in her pocket, puts the whole purse in like a tump on the counter. There are 600 platinum pieces in there. You're cleaning me out of most of my bank. I'd be happy to buy a few more things, but there's your 6,000 gold.

Awesome. I will give her an old hard plastic. plastic square milk crate thing that you keep albums in, except there's three, I'm sure, like smoking black bottles of death. And I'll slowly push that across under the table towards her. Smart move, putting them in the milk crate. That way it looks like you are somebody's boyfriend who got kicked out of the apartment, and these are your vinyl records.

Nobody wants. Perhaps a DJ. Yes, that's right. If you live in Los Angeles, DJs get broken up with every day. All right. So what else would you like to? I will tell you, I've only a limited supply of golden platinum left.

You clean me out of so much platinum. I don't know how much I could consolidate into platinum pieces after this. Bling, did you have anything else in your inventory? I had that root key. Right. And the, what was it? Um, um, what is it? Uh, the rod of alertness.

Won't you pitch those to her? And I'd also like to take a moment to maybe probe deeper into her thoughts. Can I shove the rod of alertness up my butt? Oh, I mean, yeah. How do you think we got it in here? I like that you ask for permission, Brian. I think that's very great. It's a step in the right direction, right?

That's right. That's right. Uh, you're getting the same, if you're not, Probing deeper yet, same shrewd sort of vibes. I would like to probe deeper. Okay. So she makes it, is it wisdom saving throw? Yeah. All right.

Do, do this in roll 20. Should anyone wish to note it? She rolls a nine. That sounds like a fail to me, so she's not going to notice. All right. So I'd like to, what is most on her mind right now? Right now, you can very clearly hear. thought as she sort of

she mutters a bunch of sort of random bookkeeping price comparisons and then you can clearly hear her say I do not have a lot of gold left but perhaps I can bargain my way into getting something very good for not that much.

Hmm. Interesting. What is it? You are all? She says out loud. Looking at, why don't you line up since I have a limited amount of gold left? Don't you line up for me all the other things you are curious about selling.

We just want to take the cookies. You are talking about that key. Yeah. I just want to talk with my friends for one second. Very well. I will tell you right now, from your parts, the key might not be a lot of gold I give you.

All right, guys, what do you think? Do we want to keep, hang on to something? I think we should let Siam do his thing. You don't think we need it for anything. You know, I'm going to, I'm going to hand her the key and say, for you, for being so nice. Oh, thank you for the weird

mind-flayer thing that someone will probably buy in a year. I will treasure it for that long. What the heck is that turned? What about the route of alertness? A goodwill, a goodwill. Yeah. And yeah, a rod of alertness that, you know, just kind of,

you can stick it in the ground, it'll light up. But that's the next thing you're kind of going to put forward for her? Yeah, if you're interested in a rod of alertness. Let's see, she would say, oh, okay, well, very, very curious. Rod of alertness.

One second, just pulling up. Not rod of the alertness, just a alert. Listen, the accent class he took was a couple years ago. You give him a break. One single alertness. So, yeah, this is not a lot. Listen to you.

Mm-hmm. That might be a lurtiness and a half. You don't know. How's about to give you 500 gold for this? Sure. But, yeah, but one moment. I hear it's the very one moment. I hear it's a one moment.

We got a handle up, better. What we think? How would I have and how and a hell? Yeah, this is the only time. Ken, do you share with us what you're going from her brain? Absolutely. So we know she's going to try and go short on this one. Yeah.

Maybe this is the time when we push. Because it's the last time. Yeah. And, and Blaine. Oh, did you just give her all right? She's trying to rip us off. Oh, I, no. We just.

She's bad. She did. She did say I'm going to try and squeeze them on this last one as she should. It's not like she's doing something wrong. I'm just saying, because we know that, let's squeeze her a little bit and give Siam an opportunity to, you know. Yeah, are you going to push deeper again on this one? Are you going to just sort of go with the information you got last time you pushed deeper? Yeah, I don't want to risk pissing her off.

Okay. So what do you come back to her with? Yeah. Go ahead, Elaine. You know, I don't have a problem with $500 for this, but it's like,

I feel like, I feel like, uh, also we're going to head back to the thieves guild at some point with the plank. You know what I mean? Yeah. You're right. Let's do it.

You know, so let's, uh, I think we're all one big happy family here. Well, you know what? Let me clarify. You do know the thieves guild is sort of packed up.

So the, you know, right now, effectively, Brian is the plank. We are the Thieves Guild. You are the Thieves Guild. Oh, where are the Thieves Guild? Wait a minute.

Right now, there is a new mayor who is a Kuatowa, and many of, you know, the gnomes, dwarves, and elves in town have packed up and left out of fear. They're, you know, maybe going to be excited to come back. But right now, the only folks in town, for the most part, are the upper class and lower class. The Kuatowa coming up out of soggy town, filling up the royal guard in the mayor's office.

Not the royal guard, but you know, the city guard. And there are some, you know, elves and such in mansions to the north side of town. Yeah. Meanwhile, we have a flashing neon sign that says, follow me in the form of this wisps of smoke and these worms crawling. You know, it seems like the thing's dying and whatever's left. Like, is this the last ultron? You know what I mean?

like, it seems like there's one maybe root or something left that we have to go fucking take out. Yeah. What do you think? What are we going to spend all our money on? What? Can, Ken, can you like probe her mind and see

if she knows anything about the worms? Oh. I think I can only find what she's most focused on. Well, why don't we ask her about the worms? Yeah, there you go. That works. Yeah, like, We've been very nice to her.

Yeah. You especially. Yeah. Hey, uh, uh, Rown, wow, Rao. Hey, you know,

uh, we fought, uh, this guy at Kios, and he was made, made out of these worms with little faces. It's, I don't want to get into it.

But have you seen any, have there been, uh, worm attacks, worm sightings, worm problems, uh, anything going on with worms in town,

you know? I, I, of course knows these worms you speak of. They were all over the place. creeping everyone out, including myself. I don't know anything new. Ken, rear mind.

You want to probe deep, or you just want surface level? Surface level. You just get the sense that she's trying to steer you back onto selling things. I mean, she don't want to talk about the world. Well, what if, I mean, we're selling. We're selling things. why don't we offer her a little bit of that gold back,

seeing as she's so short as like for information? Yeah, hey, we're selling things. That's all we're doing. We have to offer you something in exchange or any information you might have. What do you mean? What kind of offer are we talking about? Some gold.

I might have abstract information, but I don't know, maybe. If I don't know how much we are talking about information-wise, I don't know which vaults. if memory I should be plundering for you. I mean, pretty, pretty worm-based, I would say. Worm-based information. I mean, I can tell you everything I know for a lot of gold.

Worm-based information. Give me Memphis, Tennessee. We got a huddle up again. I don't know, guys. What do you think? How it is a piece and carrots. How much gold do a... Well, we just got 6,500, and she's saying a lot.

Let's see what she's calling a lot. You can tell she's really trying... You can tell those passive insights amongst you over 15. She's trying to make you guys name the price so she doesn't have to. What will a sweet hondo get us? Yeah, great. So you offer it up? Yeah.

You slide across 100 gold, and how would you phrase the question? You've already kind of asked, but I would like to hear something specific. Can you please give us any pertinent information you might have in the field of the Wyrh. Yeah, recent Worm activity. All right. Persuasion check for me, Ken. All right. Here's where I roll terribly.

And you're still sitting on a Bartic Inspiration, if I'm not mistaken. Oh, yes. Baric inspiration. Give me... Persuasion. Oh, I'm going to need that Bartig Inspiration. That's... 9.

Well, that's at 11. Okay. So she says, 100 gold worth of information. I can tell you the worms are not gone. People are still whispering about them. Yeah, that's what we're afraid of. And she takes the gold.

Cannot get more specific for a hundred gold. If perhaps you would like to jog the specifics out of my mind, it might for be another 500. But. What do you think? What do you think? Five hundred are we got a six thousand gold? Why we give her, say,

when we come back with her, how about we'll give her four, So now she has five. Good idea. What he just whispered to me that you didn't hear. Great. Roll that persuasion check-in. Oh, shit. Do I still have... Oh, that's a crit.

24. Nice. Why not? You've been a very enjoyable to have in town. She takes the 400, puts it in the pile, gathers it back up. She puts it in the part of her little adventurers pack that has... taken over since she gave you her coin purse.

She has a little bit of OCD, I think. Listen, it's money. I don't want to be caught throwing it around. You are worried early about whom I'd be watching our transaction. The dwarf behind the bar seems boring to me, but if some drought comes in and starts staring at this, I don't want to have a giant fistful of platinum rattling around. So for a total $500 plus $100 plus $400,000,

there's a bonus you offer for specifics. The worms are gathering and so is the fog amongst the mansions to the north. There is a small cluster of four lesser drow mansions. They are not related to your friend. The drow, you befriended the old man. Oh, yeah. You partially exploded his mansion. These are little more to the northwest.

There are four smaller mansions, exiles from the under dark, the members of different houses amongst the drow have made the little community the little courtyard amongst them and the drowl have abandoned their mansions but the worms and the fog are headed in the direction of their courtyard

and their four mansions and I can tell you this because it's definitely going north and one of the last drought to flee the city was making mention it seemed particularly nasty in the courtyard between his and his brethren. Like there was a fight? Like there were, he, you know, gets in a carriage and he flees Delsma through the West Gate. And on his way from the north side of Delsneth down to the middle of town by the big fountain and then west through the big gate, he sees less and less as he leaves his mansion and he thinks, am I at the next?

of this disaster, a good thing that I am leaving. Wow. Well, I mean, there must be some coin in handling this. I would imagine the people, Delzmouth, the fishfolk and such, would love some help. Right, guys? Sure. I'm sure they would. I mean, I can tell you, I would not want to be there myself amongst the many remaining worms.

Sounds like you did a very good service by Delsmith and destroyed this thing that was possession of Caius. Caius possesses Leviathan because of this lich, and both lich and Leviathan are dead. Still, all these worms everywhere, I mean, might be the only thing left, but you don't want a big pile of worms to swim in, no, thank you. I mean, no offense, but knowing the DM, they're going to turn into some kind of fucking worm, Golem or something like that. I don't think he would do that at all. It's only the most of... Don't give him any ideas.

No, no. It definitely does not have a dot pNG file so there's a transparent background. So when you see the token on all 20, it's fucked up. Yeah, I think yeah, maybe we should start planning some sort of

assault. Yeah. Yeah. And do we, is there like a items shop in town or any sort of, or do we want to hire some soldiers, anything like that? Yeah. I'm not going to find a lot of items for sale, but I could sell you some of

my supplies. I'll be leaving Delsmith after our little transaction and I still have some basic adventuring supplies. Okay. Like flame throwers? Yes, we have a flamethrower. You need flames or

you're fighting an alien, yes? Yeah. Blaine. Dan's talking shit about you. Oh. Stop talking shit about me. Oh, excuse me. I mean, yes, I have this flame thrower I bought from someone named McCready.

You can have. Hey, is there, should we maybe go talk to some Kuatowa? You know, hey, look, we killed a bunch of your guys, but we need more guys. Yeah. And I wonder if maybe, what do you guys think about? using the, remember the wizard who, like, where this, his mansion where this print all started? We can, what if we, what if we were using that as like a staging area? Like, what if we go there?

Make sure we're all set, maybe have our thieves do some sneaky, scowdy stuff. Because we'll be in the neighborhood, but not like outside their house. I will say it blew up. Completely? If you're, well, you're right. I mean, there is like some rubble. But if you're talking about the former mayor where a lot of this was starting. No, not the mayor.

The weird old drow guy who's a water trap, we, uh, Oh, the, just an old man. I mean, he's not really a wizard. Oh, he's like an old drow with like magic stuff. Yeah, magic stuff. He was just rich. Okay, well, his house. You do think he would probably be amenable to that.

You've made some extremely high persuasion checks and intimidation checks with him. So he's kind of like your buddy. Yeah, I mean, he's a piece of shit, but he's, Your buddy. Guys, maybe that piece of shit has some cool stuff for us to use to kill his neighbor. Yeah? Yes. Yeah.

All right. Let's go check. Let's go convert all this platinum into travelers checks. Do you want to buy my, I can sell you potions? That is the least I can offer as I can sell you some potions. I don't know how many. Your shark things? No, no, no.

I sell you standard health potion. Potions would be great. I drink whatever she hands me immediately without thinking about it. Oh, no, you drink the black thing I accidentally put that had smoke coming out of it. Oh, no. Oops, I do. I'm inside out. Oh, fuck, I've got pronged tomorrow.

All right. So, yeah, what kind of potions? Let's do it. We'll have some outs, yeah. Yeah, okay. So I have not that many, but a good little variety. I can sell you a potion of healing. Yep.

Or I can sell you a greater potion of healing. What about? Or both. Yeah. I have two of each. We'll take all four. Yeah, let's do it. I don't know if you heard me when I said worm golem.

That's just maybe. There's all kinds of shit coming our way. Yeah. I don't know if you met Dan. He's going to fuck us up. I'll give you all. I'll give you a deal. I give you all four for 200 gold.

Sure. reasonable. Normally what you might get for basic, but two of these are greater. Yes, that's right. Across. Thank you so much. Let's decide right now,

so there's no confusion. Who, two get, one of us, everybody gets one, two get greater, two get regular. I'm going to take a regular.

Yeah, yeah, you might want to take a greater if you're squishier. I'll take a regular. All right. Sounds like Shalab and Joffrey, you can load up with a greater.

Hey, Brian? Why don't you put a greater healing potion in the inventory? Sure. Nice. That's because that's, I mean, that's what, that's what's going to happen to us. Did we, did our, speaking of healing, did our, did we rest? You did. I gave you, I kind of fast forwarded through a long rest.

We long rested. So your healing was you should be back up to all your stuff. I had a lot of time. I was 94 down to six. 17. Who? Spicy meatball. Little Peepers was,

uh, what was he? He was almost dead. I thought you said he was like four or something like that. Yeah, he was, um, four for 66.

Was his trunk being held on by a bandage? Like it was a, raw. All right. And then what do we have, uh, six thousand gold worth of platinum? I think based off of the purchases you made,

it's about 6,000. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Just pay $200. $200. Well, you paid $500 for information and then $200,000. And you had $6,500.

I think you might be at like $58. Yeah. So is that it for as far as potions we can get from her? If you have something else you want, I have pretty basic supplies, but I will sell you, you just tell me. I just need to know what it is. I will huddle up with the game. One guy, guys, I also have a potion of speed.

I think we should keep that and one of us should fucking use it. Just so you know. Potion wise, I mean, I think that's pretty good. Unless anybody, does anybody else have a thing they really kind of want to have before we go into this? I don't know. Do we want to fireballs?

A date with a woman. The gentle touch of my father's hands. This might be your last encounter with a shopkeeper of any type. So if there's anything you're dreaming of, maybe she's got a version of it or something adjacent to it, but now's the time to speak your mind. Insticil button. You know, you're very sneaky. I wonder if you have anything that maybe one of our thieves would enjoy using that helps with your sneakiness.

I don't know if it's like an invisibility thing or maybe being able to be very quiet. I wonder if you have any items like that that would help. Of course. I mean, the things that I need for myself. But perhaps... And yet, what if there was gold? Always a question. I know, I know.

Very interesting. Let's see. I can give you my cloak. Tell me my cloak. You might also find my ring interesting. I suppose I could be... persuaded to give you either. I am wearing right now.

It's called a cloak of elven kind. Okay. And like, if you had to break it down in terms of statistics, what does that mean? It is, you get, while you wear it, perception checks are made against you,

have disadvantaged. Oh, okay. This is the stealth you're talking about. Sneaks. I could maybe find another one of these, but they are very expensive. but you purchase a lot of things I could maybe get myself a new one

and have change left over. You know what I mean? Oh, why not? And then you said a ring. I have a ring of mind shielding. Oh. Oh, that's cool. I didn't work that well.

It makes you immune to people wearing it out. So I did not want to wear it while I was in negotiations. You might think less of me. Yes, of course not. We appreciate your candor. Let's say we wanted both of those things.

Very well. Let's see. I could be persuaded to sell both for... Persuasion check, Chris. Persuasion, you say... I do. 24. How about I give you both for a very low price? I like this plan.

This is a smart... I like it. All right. They are very valuable. I give them both to you for a thousand gold. Thousand total. Thousand total for both. Excuse me, moments.

Yeah, what I think? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Madam, you drive a hard bargain. We accept. Very well.

Hard like a fox. She unbuckles her cloak and holds it up, puts it on the counter, takes a ring out of her backpack, and puts it on the counter. You will find good news for both. I think I'm going to get out of town before this worm thing happens. I have a bad feeling. It might be happening soon.

Get out of town. Go north to Alaska or south to Rio. I've heard of this Alaska, the land of the Frost Giants. All right. I bid you, I do. Thanks. for your business. You would all get the impression

doesn't take a high passive insight that she is implying the worm situation might be escalating quicker than she originally let on. Oh, I think it's happening right now. I think she basically was like she made a point of coming to us. Let's see how much

gold or cool shit I can get before this fucking place explodes. Yep. She was pretty clear about it. And I guess we'll just have to see how you gather up perhaps at the Drown Mansion on our next episode of nerding posts. Oh, shit. Nice. I would love if you all checked out Nurka Swimsy.

You can head to Darkuswimsy.com. Check it out on any podcatcher or YouTube. Blaine, do you do stand-up comedy? I do, but you can come and see me at Comic-Con. I'm doing a mad TV panel on Saturday, whatever. 27th, maybe. Are Spy versus Spy going to be there? Yes.

and uh rod's guys are fucking crazy those guys are fucking crazy with those bombs you almost got bombs i know sometimes i root for the white one sometimes i root for the black one that's the that's the whole thing what's the more effective the round bomb or the wrapped dynamite oh can't they just get along six of one do you know there was a third spy the lady and gray also yeah lady and gray they brought her and she was the poochie Yeah, she actually, it was really weird and kind of like out of character for the comic strip, but she died on her way back to her home plan. Oh my God.

What was the guy that Anthony Prohias? Was that the guy? Yeah, and it got taken over by Peter Cooper, I believe. Oh, interesting. He's good. Yeah, Peter Cooper, K-U-P-E-R. Yeah. In like the 80s, he passed away.

He had like a, he had sort of like a spray paint graffiti. style. It was very interesting. Sam, he passed away in the 90s, but he, like, retired from it. This was a magazine, Sam. So this was like a crazy book

made out of napkins. It was fair. I just saw that movie where the train is coming towards the screen. Brambrisstein.com for me, for merch. There's new merch. And then there's also merch for nerd poker.

So check that out. Oh. I've got July stuff and August stuff and September stuff shaping up so tour dates of brimposane.com as always Blaine

We attribute the success Save mankind for joining us on this episode You got walls in a roof Well Hey I think it's time for the Nerd Poker Mailbag Nerd Poker

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