Nerd Poker - The Fog Campaign - Episode 79

Episode Date: July 15, 2026

We just might beat the worm god as long as nobody lets themselves get hit with a worm explosion. Whoops... that's actually a very likely scenario. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com

Nerd Poker is Stoke to showcase Heavy's Audio. Headphones designed especially for the consumption of metal, engineered by audio industry vet Axel Grell, the immersive sound design and patented Hellblocker noise cancellation technology use eight speaker architecture and front-facing tweeters to deliver you a whole new level of all-consuming sound. Heavy's H-1-H headphones come equipped with interchangeable outer shell designs, allowing you to match your headphones to your mood, favorite band, a variety of artwork, and more.

So I bought myself a pair. God, almost two years ago now, it seems like, and I've been, I told everybody that I know or that listens to music to check them out. Because they are amazing. Everything I said is true. Everything sounds better, you know, not just metal. Like, even the Beastie Boys sound better. Like, it's just a nice set of headphones.

And who doesn't deserve a nice pair? Go get yourself something. And I love the Outer Shell thing. Mine currently are one of my all-time favorite bands and friends of mine, Death Angel. So I'm on a plane flying to the Midwest with Death Angel headphones. So thanks Heavy's Audio. You can visit www.com for details. Check it out, my metal friends.

Cheers. Hey, it's Brian Possein. Nerd Poker. My friends are here. Chris, Blaine. Ken, engineer Sam. And of course. Our kick-ass DM Dan Telfer.

Welcome to Nerd. Hey everybody. Brian Passan, you're listening to Nerd Poker. It's episode 79. Wow, that is crazy. Of the fog campaign. My friends are here. We're Zooming today.

There's still construction going on at the Possein House. So my wife said it's off limits. it's just it's a fucking so much shit in every room and any rate my friends are all here Blaine is talking a mile a minute Hey Brian

Hi Brian Sam is here I jumped the gun on that Dan is here Hold on Hi hi Ken is here And also

Running the show from the cool part of town Sam everybody Hello sweet children What about Chris? Chris. He got one. I said Chris first. Or second. Well, did I not do Chris? Hey, Chris. I am so, so cold, alone. Covered in cobwebs. Jesus.

I want to start again? Hey, everybody. This time we're going to play Vistraldi music over Chris saying, hold on. Okay, we should... Oh, Christmas tree. Oh, Christmas tree. We should thank some people. We should. Thank you to all your. you folks listening. Thank you to all you folks on Patreon, but if you're one of the top

two tiers of support on Patreon, you will get a shout out. Some of you all have usernames like Nerdy Girl 13. Thank you, Nerdy Girl. Thank you, Justin Malam. Thank you, Tenor's Gifts. Thank you, Megan Bradburn. Thank you, Beth. Thank you, Moose from Jersey.

And finally, thank you, Mr. Bribs. Blaine, who are those supporters brought to us by? Supporters brought to us by As... Uh, classic. Hey, Phil, what's you got on your feet there? Some kind of foot gloves?

No, Uber. These are shoes. Shoes, you say. Never heard of them. Oh, you will. You will. Shoes. Gloves for your feet.

Available where fine cocaine and heroin is old. Shoes. Run, don't walk. To purchase shoes. Your feet will thack you. Thanks, Phil. Good, thanks. Dan.

Thanks, Blaine. heroin, huh? All right. Yeah, you can get it everywhere. Thank goodness. Remember what it was hard to get heroin? Can't go to the doctor, but you can get heroin pretty much anywhere right now. If you go to the doctor, you ask for heroin, they know you're kind of like your pill shop.

Yeah, yeah. You don't really... If you're not take heroin if you're allergic to heroin. Kids, if you on methadone, don't ask for heroin. That's not a sneaky trick. My favorite heroin is Red Sogia. Well, it's my favorite... kind of introduction, the one that nearly takes care of itself.

It's time to talk about, what happened last time on nerd poker? We're mid-combat. All right. So, no, basically you're in northwest corner of Delzman fighting. The giant pile of worms known as Caius. This is, uh, in some ways bad in cleanup and other ways battling a comic cosmic horror. You killed the Leviathan. You killed the litch.

You spied on the worms. And then you exploded them. Uh, the storm cloud is. still going, I believe. Isn't that right, Ken? Yes. Also, you are Bella Legosi apparently. So,

the, excuse me, Bela-Legosi. Bella. Bella. Logoshi, Bella, as you'd say in Hungarian. Good Lord, that guy. Yeah, we talked about it already, right? How I saw it at New Beverly, like Patton and Dana were there

that movie. Where I saw Bella Legosi? That's like a rip-off, Vabbat and Costello. Yes. Belagosio meets a Brooklyn gorilla. Yeah. With the fake being Jerry. The worst thing I've ever seen in my life.

It's horrific. Yeah. The whole time I was watching it and that guy was doing that impression of Jerry Lewis really poorly, all I could think was, the day the clown cried, can't be this bad. Didn't Jerry Lewis go? at that guy at a party or something? Yeah, yeah. He sued him, I think.

I think we talked about that, too. Like, he, the guy met, like, he was introduced to Jerry Lewis as, like, a potential mentor. And Jerry Lewis was like, you're the most annoying kid I've ever met in my life. I hope you fucking fail. And the guy was like, oh, okay. And he went on for, like, five more years. Yeah. I think he died in, like, 99 or something.

But he did interviews for years. Sammy Bertrillo. He got blacklisted. Yeah, he was like, blacklisted. blacklisted for being an impersonator, basically. It was a real treat. And now, Baila de Gosey. So you guys are mid-combat, and right now,

I have Brian. Spicoli is sort of on a roof on the southwest corner of this massive courtyard, along with Shalab, who's controlling the storm cloud. Little Peepers has been firing arrows from a little parapet to the south. We have Blaine. Siam Spade is off to the east. And then we have Chris. Kind of off to the left, slightly to the north, on top of a roof.

Twiddin is attacking from there, bardically. So do you guys have any questions? We haven't played the main campaign in a couple of weeks. Ken, you're really low on health, as I recall. Yes. Maybe could we revisit everybody's hip points and stuff? Yeah, where are you guys at with hip points?

That's a great question, because I think we're only a couple of rounds in the combat. You did do a significant amount of damage against the worm god. The worm that walks is his nickname. But say, Ken, what are your hit points at? Out of what? They're low. It's one out of 72. One out of 72 is indeed low.

Brian, where's Spicolia? I will, I'll give you several seconds. I feel like there's something else we were supposed to remember to carry over. I can't remember what to have. No, I'm on. Jeffrey's unhit or Joffrey's unhit. I'm 94-94. Yeah.

He might have been focusing specifically on Ken because of the storm cloud. That sounds right. Yeah, I'm all good. Chris and Blaine, your hit points looking fun? Yeah, I'm at full. Yeah. As far as something else carrying over, I mean. I think, I think, the,

But no, what I made was that Ken is in trouble. Yeah. I don't know if there's anything else. It's true. I don't know either. I know Little Peepers is going to be up first in the turn order, but that will give us a few moments, of course, to think about it.

There's something else we want to talk about as a point of order because an MPC, and then the boss will be fighting. But yes, Little Peepers is going to go first and fire off a couple of short bow arrows. Little Peepers is your... NPC friend, half loxedon elephant, half half-ling. And he gets a 12 and a dirty 20. So it's going to be hit. I believe it's a hit. Hang on.

Oh, actually, no. His hit points are over 20. So that is a miss. Dirty 20 is a miss. Then it will be Caius' turn. I'll say Caius is going to give Lil Peepers a turn. Little Peepers is that hit points as well, but probably not

for much more. Excuse me, sorry. I keep forgetting how when you fart, it sounds like that. So he is Smeller. Wayne. Uh-huh.

Sorry. That's a sounder got his name, too. He slithers south and he takes a massive Mitt swing at Little Peepers. Oh dear. That's right. Leave that cute little elephant alone.

Smush. He has been hit a couple of times, but not what Peepers are the boss who have been hit. And that it's going to be a 31 to hit Little Peepers. Jesus Christ. I don't like the sound of that 31. Less than kind. I always think of Little Papers as Neal from the Star Wars thing.

The little blue kid. Oh! Oh, yes. Poor little Neil. Space Ambulin? Yes. Man, I forgot how good skeleton crew was. I really enjoyed it.

I bought two action figures from that one. Oh, did you? Did you get a Neal? I got a Neal and I got a... Hell yeah. What's his name? Captain Wolfeard. man.

Yeah, exactly. That one. Yeah, that was a huge surprise. I really didn't expect to like that show. I thought it was going to be shit. Yeah, I had a real cynical POV on that one as it came out, and then every episode just was better

in the last. Charming. And Joe was great. Yep. He knew exactly what he was doing. All right. Lil Peepers is down as the Caius Avatar just smashes him twice.

And then he goes, Oh, no. And he gets knocked unconscious. That was my best Neil impression. Brian, you're up. Oh, you'll be knocked unconscious. Oh, that's another Neil, isn't it? That is not.

Neil Purt, ladies and gentlemen. Spicola, you're up. Neil P.R. Who's that? If I could P.R. I'd never leave the house. Brian. Geoffrey Spokovic. Okay.

Let's see. Fireball. This fucking worm pile. I think you have to fire bolt, unfortunately. which is a slightly... Yeah. All right. Specifics and such.

And Ken, he's moving out of the storm cloud. Does that mean anything for the storm cloud, or can you move the storm cloud? Let me... Probably on your turn, you move it. I don't know if he should have made it a saving throw at the beginning or end of his turn of you is still in it. Is he close enough to throw a dagger at?

Oh, absolutely, Brian. Yeah, I'll just throw a dagger out of him instead. Roll to dagger. You are standing next to Ken, and he's about 50 feet away. Is he flanked? Nope. Okay, so, no. You guys are...

Didn't go. You're all spread out, and although that's ideal in some ways, that means you're probably not going to flank very much. It's ideal because you're all on the squishier side as rogues, and you all have kind of more distant spells. You don't have any melee tanks, as it were. No barbarians, no Palladins. No fetters.

I didn't see this earlier, but creatures within 30 feet of the sphere has disadvantage on wisdom checks. Oh. Just FYI. And saving throws, perhaps? And I don't know about saving throws. Okay. Unless it's a wisdom saving throw.

No, it's what I mean. It's a strength saving throw. Oh. For some reason. For the spell? for a storm sphere? Let's see. Yeah, like, did he have to...

Is he do a role to have been hit on his turn? Or by walking out of it, should he be okay? Yes, because he's still with it 60 feet. I can shoot from within a thing. But do you have to wait until your turn? Or does it happen on it?

Okay, then yeah. Strength saving throw, who said. Glad I checked in. Have we determined if he has any... Or if there's any damage that's not affecting him? I think that's a fail. All right.

So it takes five damage. Yes. You have not found any weaknesses that I can remember now. He's a little wormy. Made of worms. Pretty weak, if you ask me. What if we throw some hungry fish at him? Mm.

Or tortillas. What do you think, Frankie? I'm just waiting Peter, the damage, he failed. Sorry, five. Thanks for apologizing. Okay, five points of damage. I forgive you.

And, yep. Brian, did you roll to throw your dagger? I forget. Yeah, it wasn't a good roll. Okay. And then, you're welcome to hop from roof to roof or something, if you like.

You'd express curiosity about slanking, but again, I don't know how much you want to do that necessarily. Next then would be Blaine. Siam Spade. I'm going to throw a chromatic orb at him. Nice.

With acid in it. And we're just going to like sit on a Torino hood at the end of the airport and watch planes take off. Sick. All right. And you are about 65 feet away. I think chromatic orb is like 120 feet.

It's got 90 feet. Cool. So he's at a deck save, you said? It is a wisdom saving throw, and I rolled a 19 plus 7, so 26 to hit it. Nice. So he's going to roll 18 save. Is that what? Wisdom save.

My spell save DC is 15. Alas. Does it still do half damage? It does. Many things do. Oh, sorry. Thank you for apologizing. Oh, if the,

if the attack hits, it takes damage, there's no save. So you have to roll your spell attack is what we're doing. Yeah, that was it. That was a 19 plus seven. My 19 plus seven is so much a hit. Yeah, so 3D8. We're taking, and went straight to the top. There's 3D8.

5, 5, 3.3. So 13. Excellent. Not a lot, but it adds up. Yeah. Well, you got to chip away at these guys, right? Yes. And I'm going to, I'm going to move up to here with a little move,

just sort of trying to stay out of range in sight. Okay, so you're kind of like hopping over the archway on the east and going a little more Norse. Yes. Always trying to be better about explaining the visual to our audio listeners. Hopefully that is... I'm a cat. Folks. A cat in a trench coat.

Yeah, Bling, what do you use as your cat action on this turn? That would be, oh, my cat action, I'm going to... I'm going to see a laser dot on the ground and follow that quickly up to the across that archway onto the next. Nice. I'm going to scramble and I'm going to land and my ass is going to shake around a little bit. Then I'm going to claw out and then get over the top. It's adorable.

I tail can flinch. Aw. That is adorable. It's a little bit of the place. And then I'm going to lay down like I've been just hanging out the whole time. Super catch. Now, just the cat's superpower. Just a reminder, Blaine, at level 10, you did get the ability to make quiet chirping noises when you see a bird outside the window.

Don't forget. You have the... I'm also going to roll to It has cheeseburger. Oh. Well, you know what? I have the feeling it's going to be a pretty low threshold to win

because you can has it. Chris, you're up. Twittin will start playing the same high-pitched note over and over and I will cast Mind Sliver. Man, that one's brutal. Uh, yeah, that's okay.

I remember it doing, it's psychic damage, right? Yeah, you drive a disorting spike of psychic energy. The creature has to make an intelligence saving throw DC17. Mm. Can't remember any other spells that do that, intelligent saving throw. Okay, so he is going to get a plus 14 savings service. Jesus, my God. Just that.

Oh, well. No, I mean, he rolled a 32, but you never know with these things. Jesus Christ. I mean, what was the, what was the spell save you see? It was 17, Dan. He could have failed. No. Could have been.

No. All right, well, I will pack my stuff up and start walking home. Okay. Good night, folks. Ken, you're up. You know what? I'm going to bonus, sorry. I'm going to bonus action give Bartick Inspiration.

I think I gave it to somebody last time. Brian, I think you might have it. Who did I give it to? Yeah, I mean, Bartic Inspiration is going to come in crazy handy in a fight like this where all the roles have got to be high. I will give it to Kent. So Ken, you've got a D8.

Thank you. I will. Well, I guess my spell is still going, so the... Zap it! Yeah. He is looming over little peepers right now. Well, that's shitty. Where to help...

Hang on, I'm sorry. All right. Two, two. Storms here. And, uh, so it just, it attacks again automatically, and then they do a bonus. I will, uh, I will shoot fire. Fireballs. No. What do I have here? Bolt's right? We're shooting fire bolts, right?

I'm extremely drunk so early in the morning. Yes. Fire bolts. Are you not doing your storm sphere thing? Well, that's his turn, I believe. Yeah, that's after his turn he gets hit and then I can do a bonus action with it. Yeah. So fire bolt to attack. And that's a 11 to hit. 11 to hit.

Oh, that'll be a miss. And then, as a bonus action, your lagging bolt. And that is how many? Let's say, okay. This many. Um,

that is, okay. This is a tense. 22 points of damage. Ooh. And what is doing that 22 points of damage? The lightning bolt that shoots out My bonus lightning bolt. But he doesn't do a strength save?

No, I think that's an automatic. Dauza. All right. I forgot about that. I mean, that's fantastic for you. Okay, bonus action. Make a wrench. Oh, I have to make a wrench spell attack.

I have an advantage. There. Attack roll. If the target is in the sphere. He's not in the sphere. Not in the sphere. Okay. So.

Trackroll. Right now, it's Wizard of Oz. Tech roll is that. Plus eight is my bonus. So, and, uh, uh, what's my,

oh, and my Bartik Inspiration. Yeah. Which is seven, so 21. Nice. That is a hit. Excellent.

Uh, I think it's 3D6 now. You already rolled. That heart. 5D6, right? Yeah, you got the highest number for that one. Yes, never mind. Never mind.

Never mind. Never mind. Never mind. And I will hunker down as best I can. All right. So, yeah, the bolt will slam into him, fried worms flying everywhere. Oh, how they wiggle and squirm. It's going to take us up to the top of the turn order for Lil Peeper's making a death save.

You got this, buddy. Ooh, he says. Let's see. Burp-ur-purp. Is there a death save button, like, right? Oh, I have to make him at zero hit points, that's right. Alright, so that is not showing up, is it? Hang on.

Worst comes to worse, you can just roll a B20, I guess. Yeah, I'll just roll a D20. I don't know why, he'll know work to you. That's not showing up, yeah. That's 6S, 18. And at this point, it is now going to be Caius's turn. He is going to grab Lil Peeper's unconscious body, open his maw wide, and like the Gnome King in return to Oz, just sort of start dangling little peepers over his maw.

Oh, yes. Seems unnecessary. As he does that, he's going to start lurching towards Brian and Ken. he's thinking you guys like appetizing next Brian you're up Worm boy's right in your face Firebolt to his mug Okey-doch

watch this Last words of redneck DECC Jackass last the best I will Yeah I haven't yet But is it out? Yeah

You like Jackass? It's great Yeah 24 Hey. That is very much a hit, Brian. All right. And 11 in Damage. Fireball.

All right. More fried worms. Brian, you sizzle a chunk of worms off of the massive golem-o-worms avatar. Nice. He is going to roll to hang on to Lil Peepers. Did you guys all see the, those. Bone Temple last year. Yeah.

It was great. I think it was like January February, actually. I finally saw it on a plane. But I wanted to watch the other one first, 28 years later first, and then watch Bone Temple. And I watched them back to back on a plane to Toronto.

Good Lord, they were fucking awesome. Wow. And if you love Iron Maiden, oh my God, the Iron Maiden tribute in that movie. I had forgotten about it. People didn't know that I love them had said, oh my God, you're going to shit. And then.

Yes. Yeah. There's no way you didn't. And you shit off the buildup. The build up to it. When he pulls out the vinyl of number of the beast, I was like, oh, my fucking God. Like I was so happy. It's such a great movie.

Yeah. It was surprisingly like moving and emotional for an extremely violent zombie movie. Yeah. And I was cheering that scene on a plane. Oh, yeah. I mean, that whole. God, what a movie that was. Yeah.

It really was one of the best movies I've seen whichever year was. I mean, it was really good. I think the best needle drop in there was probably a girl just want to have fun. No, the Duran Duran was great. Oh, that's right. I was way more into sinners and weapons last year, but this one snuck by me. I didn't see it while it was out. and I think it's up there with weapons and sensors.

Oh, I read today that the weapons guy, what's his name? Zach Craigor. Zach Craigor is doing a sirenhead movie. Yeah. So, I don't know what that is. The internet animation thing? Oh, okay. Oh, yeah.

Bone Temple, Bone Temple did come out this year. Yeah. Now, if I didn't like the first one, will I like Bone Temple? you're like 28 years later? No. I think it's vastly superior to the first 28 years later. Yeah, it's the same

plot elements, but it's way better. It sets it up, though, you know, with... Yeah, you get the information. Yeah, yeah. Did you hear Zach Craigers doing that Resident Evil movie? I just found out

about that. Oh, yeah. I... That looks so good. There's a... There's a... Teas report and everything, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I saw the trailer in front of Jackass and was like freaking out.

Yeah, I was so excited. Yeah, I mean, of all the combos, right, of director and intellectual property when he's so sick. And he, like, plays the game constantly. He loves that game. He's also doing a Kristen Wiggs gilling. God damn it.

It's supposed to be really scary. I would love to see. a gilly Aunt Gladys buddy picture. And I did it. Did you guys ever see Barb and Star go to Vista Del Mar? Yes, I love that movie. That movie is so fucking funny.

I put that movie and Suicide Squad together as like two movies where the filmmakers did whatever the fuck they wanted to. Jamie Dornan. The new are Suicide Squad. Jamie Dornan in that movie, before Barbie came out, was singing like a musical number about being a dopey man on the beach.

It's just a movie about two middle-aged women trying to fuck in Visa Del Mar. Yeah. Fucking say the world. It's really, God, it's nuts. God, it's nuts. That one snuck up on me because I had zero expectations,

but I recognized a few people. So I was like, oh, I'll watch this and was like, holy shit. They wrote a good script and they performed the shit out of it. It's bananas. I think they, like, promoted it. in 2019, it was supposed to come out in like April 2020. They were like, oh no, the end of the world and they delayed

it a year with like no promo. Like, I think it came out on like Hulu only or something, so. Could be wrong. It's not quite me to. Okay. Anyway. Sorry, distracted.

No, I just distracted. No, I just just like movies. So we were that Bone Temple came up and it came up during him rolling a saving throat to hold on to Little Peepers while he was being fried

and he missed it. You can see in the chat log you got a 14. So he is going to drop Little Peepers who got a success but is unconscious and Little Peepers is going to luckily not take damage. He's just going to land on the roof because

of where he was situated. That was not intentional on my part but he's heading over to take some swings at Brian and Ken and in the process is like hanging over the roof. So he's not going to drop him on the ground. But if, you know, maybe maybe slightly different positioning, he would have gotten studded for two automatic fails.

That's wonderful news. Is that the end of your turn, Brian? I believe you did that firebolt. Cool. You've essentially freed Lil Peepers' his unconscious body from his clutches. That was certainly helpful for Lil Neal. Blaine, you're up. Oh, I'm going to, uh, I'm going to hit him with a couple of firebolts from distance.

Do it. So, and fire bolts are a, just to, that's a range thing. I just want to check. You see Nirvana, the band that show the movie? Not yet. I want to. Holy shit. So good.

Yeah, I've heard the same. Range spell attack. Roll it. Okay. Speed. You got this, kids. Uh,

15 plus my spell attack is, oh, it's plus six, the 21. That's a hit. All right.

Uh, we're looking for a 21 AC, 21 AC. 2D10. 2D10. 2D10. 2D10 later 2D10

2D10 cooks How about 20 10 cooks Uh Double O's 20 points of damage Yeah Yeah

Nice Fada pada Did you guys play the 007 First Light video game? No That's good It's very good

Try it I mean That's it I'm gonna keep moving I'm gonna move up To around here You're just going like kind of farther into the... Yeah, I'm just running around the balcony like a kid in the hotel.

What are you going to do for your cat action plane? I'm going to... I'm going to jump and I'm going to land wrong and I'm going to immediately start licking my leg like nothing happened. I love it. Because what did happen, really? Yeah, nobody saw me. Everything's cool.

Got it. second ago you were hunting then and now you're not Chris you're up Okay, I'm going to seeing him Caius drop Lil Peepers

I'm going to change things up I'm going to cast Healing Word at fourth level on little keepers giving him oh God what a terrible role 13 hit points better than nothing

so that's my bonus action. For movement, I'm going to go run north to three, four, five, six. So I'm running sort of basically due north, trying to put some space between me and the thing. So for then my action, I believe I can still cast a cantrip. I will shoot a firebolt at it. Dut.

16 hit. It doesn't do anything. I'm afraid not now. Probably. All right. That's it, bud. Full car. I might attempt to say okay. Ken, you're out. Fire bolt.

That closed. Okay. Firebolt, and that is a 17 to hit. Pray not, sir. bonus action the lightning bolt uh bu bu bu do

there we go that is a 26 to hit hey oh there it is and that will be do de do do

26 points of nice wow what kind of damage lightning damage Yeah, Kadoosh. So this just keeps arcing through him and to your point earlier

you're chipping away at him. This is, I think, twice as much damage as the last one did though, so this is going to be a pretty big ball of fire crashing into him as the electricity bolt hits him from the storm sphere.

Screw you, worm, dude. He does like a triple take because he can't believe how rude that was. And then we're back at the top of the turn order. Ken shrug, folks. Little Peepers goes, ooh! Pulls himself up on his feet with his 13 hit points.

And he is going to bonus action, disengage, and kind of run in your direction, Chris. Mm-hmm. It goes super far because he's so tiny. So tiny. A little fellow. Let's see.

He is going to pull his necklace off. He's got like a little pendant. And he reaches back and chucks it at Caius. To lock it with his college girlfriend. Oh. Oh. Are they committed now? He in the worm pile?

Oh. He rolled a deck save. been got a 14, a 2 plus 12. So, uh, you guys see this huge cloud of green acidic, like mass. It's not the same as the cloud that he was like hiding in earlier. This looks more like it's, it's, um, burning and sizzling. And it is going to cause him some damage. And also, if he, uh,

fails a second save. It's going to blind him. I mean, he should fail that second save. Yeah. Totally should. I'm afraid not. It's a 28th, so he is not blinded, but he is going to take. Was that a wisdom saving for him by any chance?

A deck save and then a constitution save. Hmm. 2D12 Dutch oven damage. Ugh. You should Dutch ovens like. acidically burned you? Good Christ. Sometimes they do.

Ernest Borgon. You have met my wife. The acid is going to do 26 points of acid damage in the cloud. Nice. Acid cloud is full. Would you like to delete some emails? Or buy more space.

Chippin away at his house. That's going to bring us to Caius next. He is going to try to move out of the acid cloud, which takes him out of range for the punching he was going to be doing. But he still has a few spells. So he is going to cast Flame Strike on Ken. Oh, sorry. Oh, go ahead.

I was going to say, you know, the Ernest Borgne, Ethel-Merman Dutch Oven story, right? I don't think I do. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of it. They were really good friends, and they decided to get married. And on their wedding night, Borg-9 Dutch Ovenger, and she was like, nope. And they were really married for, like, a few days. She kind of noked out.

I mean, smart. Can't blame her. Yeah. You should have put that on the, uh, your application. I will touch up and you on our honeymoon. Yeah.

She's a sexy fart. She was a part and she was out of there. You know, you gotta, you gotta test your partner out and see if they have a fart pink before you marry them. Ken, can you please do

a dexterity saving drill? I guess. Oh, God. Oh, good. Oh, no. Sorry, that's fart plank. All right, let's see.

There are any shaving filing? Oh, that's really good. It's also going to be a deck save for you, Brian. That's a first two bonus, so seven. Okay. Great. This deck can only take one point of damage. Oh, low, nine.

All right, so a huge pillar of flame is going to erupt underneath you. First, you're going to take 5D6 fire damage. Sure. It's made 15 points of fire damage, and then there's going to be a sizzling ray of light that comes out of the cylinder. I take that fire damage, too, Dan. Sorry. Yes, I'm afraid so. So that'll be...

Just asking. 15 points of fire damage, and then 18 points of radiant damage. Oh, shit. A total of 33. points of damage. I dead. Oof. Again, by dead,

me not conscious, right? Sure. Thank you for saving me a long conversation. But what do you mean by that? Hey, Brian, you know you've got

uncanny Dodge. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you could actually have it. Have it? I think both of them. I'm not sure, but I think it's an attack, not an effect.

Oh, I will, uncanny dodge successfully and take death. I mean unconsciousness. So what can I do? Do I half the points or no? Yeah, so you can both

have that down. You don't have uncanny dodge, Penn. It doesn't matter. Ken was fucking with me based off what you said, Brian, but yes, you can take that down to 30, not 31, sorry, 16 points. 16 points of total

damage. And it looks like we will be finding out what happened with Brian's next attack. But why are there fart kink jokes in chat now while we're doing this?

Because Ken is 12. Brian will start our next episode with your turn in the attack order on our next episode. Cool. Plug some stuff, anybody? Sure. I mean, first things first, we got to plug up this island.

we all first got here after our plane crashed. You know, the smoke monster came after us some polar bears, but now that we've all grown together, it's time we go underneath the aisle and put that giant cork in the hole. But I'd also like to plug darkest whimsy.com. Blaine? I'll be at Comic-Con on July 25th with a mad TV panel, and on the 9th, I'm going to be getting a blood test.

Oh. So swing by and catch that. It's going to be a lot of fun. Is that a quest diagnostic? No, it's UCLA. LeBreya. Oh, good. And now we all know.

Yeah, swing on by. There's limited parking, but I think there's parking on the street. Sometimes you can just go behind the nurses station or phlebotomist station, I guess, and just grab a fistful of little blood containers and no one even notices. Doesn't even have to be yours. I got a GalaxyCon in two weeks in New Orleans, and then I've got Comic Con in San Diego, two panels. I'm doing Stewart Fails to Save the Universe

in one of the big halls on Thursday and then on Friday night I'll be joining a bunch of my friends, Brendan Small Chris Bernowski and we're doing I'm stoked to even be a part of it

but the Metallocalypse 20th anniversary panel will be good times Blaine Brendan will be doing Swiss card jokes and all that. It'll be a good time. And then signing stuff and, you know,

trying to purchase stuff with my kids. So come up and say Sierra Mist and piss him off. Watch a surly teenager turn on you. And then Brianpacine.com for tour dates. I got something. Blaine. We attribute the same. success saved man, Colleen

for joining us on this episode. You got walls in a roof. Well... Hey, you guys, I think it might be time to dig into our nerd poker mail bag. Nerd poker. What did you think of Disclosure Day? My friends got mad

when I spoiled the ending for him. Because in the end where the aliens sort of lo, lo, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, didn't see it going this weekend. La, la, la, la, la, la, the next door poker. Thanks for listening to another episode of Nerd Poker. You can follow us at patreon.

slash nerd poker, and you get bonus episodes from there. And you can also send us anything at P.O. Box 16069 and Sino, California, 91416. Thanks for listening.