Nerd Poker - The Fog Campaign - Episode 80

Episode Date: July 22, 2026

Oh right, we're on a bunch of mansions, let's get this whole mansion courtyard ripped up while we kill Captain Wormy! For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more, be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com

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and friends of mine, Death Angel. So I'm on a plane flying to the Midwest with Death Angel headphones. So thanks Heavy's Audio. You can visit www. com for details. Check it out, my metal friends. Cheers. Hey, it's Brian Possein.

Nerd Poker. My friends are here. Chris, Blaine. Ken, engineer Sam, and of course, Our kick-ass DM Dan Telfer. Welcome to Nerd. Hey, everybody.

It's Brian Passing. You're listening to Nerd Poker. It's a Zoom episode of 80 of the Fog campaign. We're in some shit. My friends are here. Ken, hey pal. Hey, Brian, I'm coming to your town. Hey, Brian.

I never wear a friend. Chris is here. Hey, Brian, I'm still here. I'm still queer. Nice. Blame. Hey, Brian. Been trying to meet you.

Hey. You don't have to say. You don't have to. Dan, please tell you. Hi. There you are. That's my song. Gary Goldman when you did that.

Running the show from the cool part of the town. It's Sam, everybody. Hello, sweet children. Hey, man. Hi, guys. Where's Roman? He is right there. Watching us all.

I have you as a, I've never seen that many crucifixes in an apartment before, Sam. I didn't know you're that religious. Yeah. They're upside down, though. So the ordained minister. Are those ticket stubs all from the different churches you go to? Yeah, when I sell out at church, I keep the ticket stub. That's awesome.

There's so many waivers, you guys. I have two dogs in here watching too, but they're on the floor. So it's hard to do to show them. We thank some people. We should. Thank you to everyone who supports our show. And if you're at our top two tiers of support on patreon.com, from Nord Poker. We're going to shut you out. We have users like Joe Beck. Thanks, Joe Beck. Thanks, Joe. Thanks, Joe. Thanks, Six Flags presents Mr. Hans, the ride. Thank you, Amanda Bird. Thank you, Matt Carter. And finally, thank you, Diarrhea Pearlman. When I was at Improv Olympic Chicago in the late 90s, there was an improv team called Gonorrhea Pearlman.

Very disrespectful both of these jokes. But that means we are at the end of quarter two of 2006's shoutouts. Playing where those supporters brought to us by. Or is brought to us by. Blee, brand blood chewables. Blay! Let the right one in your mouth. Blay!

I want to chew your blood. Blah! Brand blood chewables. Blah. Dan? Thanks, Blaine. Boy, I never thought I'd live to see or hear the day when someone would do the classic Bella Legosi voice

and then talk about let the right one in in that phrase. Blood chewables. Blood chewables. Mm-hmm. Sounds delicious. And you know what else is delicious? What happens last time on Nerd Poker? Our heroes are mid-combathe's with Caius, little people who got smacked around until he was unconscious,

then Twyden brought him back from the brink with 13 hit points. Right now, the lurching form of Caius is just ducked out of a cloud of gaseous acid in the southwest corner of Yon Courtyard. Blaine is Siam spading his cat actions in the northeast corner of the map. we've got Shalab and Joffrey Spicolian Southwest, Tudin in the Northwest, and the little peeper is right between sounds good to me

we left off with Brian Posse next in the turn order. Brian? Yo. Do you like to play Dungeons and Dragons? I love it. You've set yourself up with an excellent opportunity. All right, let's do some. Let's do some D&D.

Hmm? Um, how close is this guy to me now? He's a little farther away because he ducked out of that acid cloud, but he's 50 feet away. Okay. Well, then, uh... You can do a lot of things 50 feet. Yeah, fire bolts is probably going to do that. Yeah, you were quitting Tarantino.

Whoa, up top. Gross. No. I'm going to grow up 50 times. Yeah, I declined the uptime. Oh, my God. I just picture 50 feet. You don't have to.

And him whacking off on him. 25. Now you've done it. Fire bolt. Let's do it. All right. Roll to spell attack, I believe. Yeah.

Nice. Oh, yeah. That'll work. 25. Hell yeah. Roll that damage. Look at you. Out there.

living the dream. 12. Nice. Not too shabby. I'm taking it. Is being chipped away at. Yeah, fuck you. That's what I say.

He's really hurt emotionally. I don't care. Oh. I'm dead inside. Oh, man. He's been to a lot of therapy, and it's all being undone right here in this courtyard. Blame, you're up.

I'm going to Firebolt. I believe that's a very similar Firebolt. Spell attack roll. Spell attack roll Spell attack roll I'm gonna roll a spell attack roll That's a 12 plus 12 plus 6 is 18 I'm sure

That's a miss. That is missed we are looking for a 21 Okay and I'm gonna I'm going to move Over here That's it And duck Wow Anything you'd like to do for your cat action

I am going to I just going to lick my asshole for a while All right, cool Sounds like that joke has run its course On the perfect way Up next to the turn order is Chris All right I see

Shalab fall And I turn around And so I'll move 30 feet back Towards I guess I won't get me all the way back South the little peepers But that direction One two

four, five, six, which I believe does not get me close enough. I have to be 60 feet. Yeah, I'm just a little shy of being able to do healing for Ken. So I will bonus action, give Bartik inspiration to Ken, which I believe you can apply towards a saving throw if you want, buddy. Or an ability check, which is a death saving throw. Yeah. Okay, so that's my bonus.

And then for my action, I will fire a firebolt, hopefully burning wormmaster. Doubt it, 13. Pray not. That's it. I'm coming. I'm coming. Hold on. Shalab.

All right. That's going to be in its 10's turn. Shalab. Death, six. Yeah, but you've got Bartig inspiration. Yeah, that's an 11th plus. You don't need it. No, we don't need it.

You could just hold onto that. Holding on to it. Holding on to it. Somewhere in the foggy mindset of our fallen hero, he remembers at some point. He could dig deep and think about his friend's song. But he's one success, I believe. Yeah. Okay, then.

Little peeper. the elephant halfling is going to run towards Ken he's going to use his he has right? Yep, bonus action dash

and then he's going to take his last healing potion and pour it down your throat, Ken. Deletio. So that is going to be 2D4 plus 2 healing. Um, I'm all going to roll it. Seven points.

Seven points. Nice. Thank you so much. Yes. But he will mention as you blink away, uh, awake. I collected several of those near the beginning of our adventure together. That is the last one. Thank you, my friend.

And it's going to be. Yon Kaias. kind of slows out of range and it kind of looks up towards the north where Sam Spade is

and will decline running over there because it just basically means turning us back on the rest of you and he is going to cast Finger of Death Oh dear

Oh and the Starplod's gone, huh? Finger of death when you're a finger. Is it? it? Is a storm plug on? Deadly. What?

We're not conscious, so imagine it is. Oh, that's right. If you're a worm. Um, pal-p-paw-paw. Sorry, one moment. So, finger of death, you unleash negative energy towards a creature you can see in range. They must make a con save.

Um, he is going to point it at Joffrey. after becoming annoyed with the back and forth. So Joffre, you make a Constitution saving throw. I believe you still have that Bartic inspiration from like a few sessions ago, Brian. If you need it. Okay.

Yeah, what is that? Yeah, what is it? Constitution saving through. Is that eight? Ah, yeah, you rolled an eight. The Bartic inspiration. Nice. Holy shit.

You got the max. Yeah. You roll the shrieving throw. Was it 17? What was the total? You got an 8 plus. Yeah, I'm looking up at the... 13.

13. That is unfortunately not going to do it. Oh, shit. So he is going to point at you and deal 7D8. Plus 30 necrotic damage. Jesus Christ. What the fuck? 62 points. No, shit.

Kill this fucker. Let's kill him. Now we should kill him. You get wracked with pain, and you feel your life force gets smacked right out of your skeleton. Good God. I believe you still have about 30 hit points.

No, 15. Ouch. Okay. Didn't mean to sharpen the blow, but you are up next. Kill him. Kill him, Ryan. Kill him. I thought I just took a shot. You, um, maybe we went all the way around, didn't we? Think you last one? Yeah. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I messed that up before, but I believe I got that. Okay. And how far away is he?

50. 50. 50? I thought that's what you said last time. I think you're right. Yeah, 50. Thank you. 26. Fuck you. That is successful. Fuck you.

20. 10. 20 damage. And that's fire? Nice. Yeah. Oh, do I get Bartik Inspiration on that? Caduce.

I believe Bartik Inspiration's ability checks. Yeah. I don't think you can throw it on damage. It's too bad. It is too bad. It would be sick of good. Yeah. It would be sick of it.

But good. I'll stand down and then I'm both middle fingers blazing at him. Yeah. Well, you fucking schooled him. Blaine your up.

I'm going to fireball them from here. Cool. Fireball that's a 17 plus 6. Anybody got some health they can throw at me? Yeah.

Yeah, he was headed over towards me so it'll get you. 17 plus 6 is ahead. 23, so that's a 2D10. 2D10. That's a 7 plus 6. It's 13. Now is also a firebolt?

Firebolt. And then I'm going to move. I'm going to go up here and hide. So he's getting scorched over and over again. he is starting to feel the heat and is going to use Freddy or not his

legendary actions. The power station? Mm-hmm. Legendary act. Freddy or not do do do do. Gave drums. He is

two. with the Duran Duran brothers and him. It's John Taylor, Andy Taylor, Robert Palmer, and then Michael DeBarre took over for Robert Palmer, didn't he? Yeah, that makes sense. I remember who the fourth was. Yeah. David Crosby.

Jesus. He was going to cast EyeBite on Chris. I bite. Your eyes become an inky void. That's his. One creature of his choice within 60 feet must make you wisdom savings. Oh, that's Chris.

Or be affected by one of the following magic. I'm further than 60 feet. Oh, I guess. Are you one from hand? Yeah. The thing is huge. He is gonna scoot a little bit north

to make that dream come true. So if you could make a whiz save DC 18 18 wisdom Uh, 20 Oh, well he tries to knock you unconscious with a sleep But you managed to shake it away And that will take out one of his legendary actions Sweet, boy shit

Um And I believe it's you I believe you're up great um plenty's eye back I'm gonna go I gotta get within

I want to heal uh Spicoli I have to get a little closer so I will move you know what I will do I will move down what

10 15 20 25 putting the acid clouds directly between me and Rudy Worms bait

uh Rudy I will Well, let's see. I will cast at fourth level as a bonus action, healing word for my friend Brian, giving him a 4 plus 5. So you get 15 hit points back, buddy.

Nice. Brian, thank you. Sure, for Spicoli. And then as an action, yeah, I guess I will try and, fuck, I'll fire both them again. I mean, the firebolts have been connecting. You guys... 21 to hit.

Yeah, see, that's exactly we need to hit. And yeah, they're starting to add up. You know what I mean? 17 points of fire bolt damage. Caduce. All right, so he's a little... Why don't you... What's your passive insight there?

Me? Yeah, boss. Passive insight. 16. He's going to take a big... chunk out of them. He's lost about half his hit points. I'll share that with the courtyard. Which within the narrative

would be something like, we've made significant damage. He's not dying. He's not bleeding out, but he's... This place smells like burnt worms. Yeah. Chicken. Boin't whimes. He used to open for red buttons. Hey, ha, ha, ha, ha, yeah.

Never got it. Achot, ch, ch, ch, ch. Anything else for your turn, Chris? That's it? Okay. Now, that was Jimmy Durante, of course. Ten, you're up. I am going to summon a dragon. Oh, shit.

I'm casting summon dragon. Now, that brings like a spectral dragon, right? You call forth a dragon spirit, yes. Manifest in an unacquired space that you can see within range. He uses the Draktonic spirit stat block. Nice. I'm casting a fifth level, so he has 100 hit points. Holy fuck.

Armor Class of 19. Wow. And he has a future armor from the Gamma World game. Have you cast that before? I know I've seen people do it before. It's a pretty badass spell. It can really turn the tide. Summon dragon.

Imagine summoning dragons. I mean, what's great about it, and I have a token for it that's pretty dorky. Where would you like it? This side of him. No, right, right about there. And is it medium or huge or large? Large, I believe. Yeah, large dragons.

We'll bump it up to that big. Cool. And does it roll separate initiative or is it on your initiative? That's a good question. That might not be something I should be asking you. It might be something I should know. I think summon creatures have a standard. Let's see.

Does Simon have its own? What are you looking up? If he has a separate spot in the turn order, if it's my turn order or his own turn. Oh, interesting. Yeah, because he could go now, if you go later, go at some opportune time.

You do not, he does not have a separate turn order? So does he attack? It's yours. That's what I'm also checking. That's a two-part question. And, Ken, did you say it's a spectral dragon status? Yeah, it can move an axe on its very first turn.

Okay, cool. So sayeth the DMs guy. So it will multi-attack? Yeah. Makes a number of rend attacks equal to half the spells level. Rend! That's them claw paws. Yeah.

So, melee attack, roll. Let's see. Hell yeah. Spectral, so it's not like a real dragon. It's a specter of some sort, like a dead dragon? that's a great question I think he kind of gets to decide with the flavor he wants

so I don't want to get hurt yeah all right so I rolled a oof well I rolled a three uh the spell attack and modifier is

it's a spirit it's a eight so it's a 12 no 12 to attack yeah 11 to attack sorry

that is a failure um all right but But there's also the breath weapon attack as part of the multi-attack. Part of the multi-attack. Hot-cha-cha. All right.

Marti ball. And that's a, that's a, that's a saving, dexterity saving throw. Cool. Let's get back into the Roll 20 window. What kind of dragon is it? What color? Red. Ooh.

Purple. It's purple on the thing. Let's make it purple. It's purple. He rolls a 24 That is a success Can I take a reaction

to that? Sure. All right, I'm going to as a reaction cast Silvery barbs. I magically distract the triggering creature and turn its momentary uncertainty into encouragement.

The triggering creature that's worm man must re-roll the D20 and basically it's disadvantage. Use the lower roll. Uh-oh, it was a 15. Oh, so he fails. Excellent.

Great. So let's see. As the other half of that, I'm going to give, this is Ken's turn, I will give advantage to little people. Lovely. So I'll roll my damage for the breath weapon. This will be fired.

Yeah, because he fails. and he will take full damage eight damage eight points of Hed damage right he's looking I don't know he's he's a more than a half done it's fucking shitty you you notice what

wouldn't call that to you then it's your turn oh my turn is it is it you already used it to summon the dragon you did some summon dragon stuff is there anything else that you would like to do for your turn

uh no I don't think I can't You can move. There's always movement. Mm, movement. There's always room for Jello and 30 to 60 feet of... I'm not risking your attack of opportunity, I'm not. You are not near him at all.

I mean, you're near-ish, but no. Cool. They're relatively speaking, you're not near him at all. You're about 60 feet away. All right. Little Peeper Deepers is going to fire. his short row with, thanks to Chris and that tinge. Nice.

Hey! And he needed it. That second roll is a 24. Versus his first role, which was only a dirty 20. So he is going to connect for... Oh, shit. 34 points of piercing damage. Nice. Hello.

Sneak attack. Good. Hit it. Yeah. Thank you for that advantage, he says. So who? What shit? Fucking sneak attack damage as you level is so bonkers. I really enjoy playing a swashbuckler rogue when I get to play.

It's very fun. Roads, roads, rogues. Okay. I'm done bragging about how I like to fire, pretend weapons in other games. It's now going to bring us to Caius. He doesn't like being hurt so bad, and so he gonna be a prick. So he points again at Brian, and there is an explosion of worms all around him. I am going to need a DC-13 dexterity saving throw from both you and Little Peepers.

Whores? Dexterity saving throw? Yeah, boss. Nice. 23, yay. Yeah, you both managed to roll down You roll down that roof I believe I used this joke last

That's time we recorded two episodes ago Like hoser from Strange Brew You just roll right out of the way of harm Hose Head, right? Yeah, host head, yes, thank you. Yes, no. Take off you, hosers! God, that movie.

What a silly thing. I believe it was on Turner Classic movies like two nights ago and the universe is cracked. I don't know if you guys knew. When Strange Brew airs on Turn a Classic movie, The World is Broan. Hey, Turner Classic. It's a classic.

Come watch the dog have a cape grow out of its back, awkwardly. That reminds me the time I heard Gigi Allen at the supermarket. Oh my. I wish you were telling the truth. It is. It's not video.

It's a song. It's not a video. I still, I fucking, his music, he's not good. His music's worse than, than him shitting in his hand and throwing it at you.

I don't know. I just saw the new Jackass movie and shit has a lot of value when you're getting to be older, so. Oh, boy. Can't get hit by bulls as many times in a row. So, Steve, my balls do a turd.

You've shattered all of your vertebra. You got to do more poop stunts. Oh, that might keep me away from it, actually. That's my least favorite shit. Dude, it was my least favorite, too. When they pulled their balls out or if they shit in their, and if there's shit jokes or actual shit. Yeah.

I don't mind. My friend thought it was great, but I was the whole time just like hand in front of my face. It was, like, worse than when people get cut, just this like, oh, you're getting hepatitis up your nose. That's terrifying to me. There was a kid who there was a kid who, There was a kid who did a shit gag at the UCB theater years ago. Oh, Paul Russ.

Yeah. What do you do? If I would have been there, if I would have been there, I would have vomited all over. He got in trouble for that one. Yeah. What did he do? I would have followed him home just vomiting on him. What was the name of the show or it was like just the worst?

People did the worst stuff. I think he just looked on stage. Yeah, he did. But the whole point, yeah, it was called, like, the shit show or something. Jesus Chris. I know there was a show called the shit show in Illinois. Yeah. It was just a show where you would have to be a shocking thing.

Yeah. And he took a shit in a waist there. Of course Matt Besser is tangentially responsible for that. Shit show. Yeah, that was his idea. It was funny. Yeah, I love that. But I don't think that's what this was.

This was something else. It's the wrong kind of ass cat. Terrible show. Yeah. One time I was doing it, improv cage match at I.O. Chicago. And we were going to lose for sure because the other team had like Horatio Sands and Adam McKay on it. And we lost, but it was barely.

The votes were very close because even though we are not as famous as those guys, they spent the first five minutes of their set taking styrofoam packages of hot wings and just whipping it at the audience. Oh, my God. And they were hammered and just like throwing hot wings at everybody. People love that. It turns out they didn't. Yeah, that was like an infamous moment in Iowa-Chicago history. Yeah, then the famous people almost got us sued because they threw hot sauce in people's eyes.

And ruined clothing. What's you going to do? Brian, I think you're up. People still complain about the show where I had John O'Rey and Steve Agee wearing angel outfits and coming on people. with these big giant quarkoths. You didn't like that. Well, I have people go, hey, I was at that San Diego show.

I'm still getting shit out of my shirt. I'm like, I'm sorry. You know who clicked like on that one, though? G.G. Allen's ghost. What are we doing? What's happening? I think it's your turn. Can anyone bail me out on this?

My memory is like because of... Yeah, because Caius just did the worm eruption and they both successfully... Yes, thank you. That's what I thought. Okay. Thank you, Brian. Oh, yeah, I do follow him.

Yes, exactly. I thought he was next, but I'd forgotten who had done what last. Still far away, right? Still 50 feet. Yes. Next time we play in person, I got a turn order thing for myself, for games in general, that I can bring over. It's like a sword with little, like, dry erase strips that I can, like, pass around and make everyone write their initiatives on, and then put on the sword in the order of everyone's numbers.

So there's like a visual cue. A turn counter. Yeah. Cool. It's a big old fantasy turn counter. 22 to hit and then eight points of damage. Ooh. And that's a firebolt?

Yeah. Sizzle and poppy gets smashed again. That's fire damage. Just piles and piles of crispy hash brown-like chunks of burnt worms on the ground. it's like going to a Denny's at 3 a.m. out in this courtyard. Anything else for your turn? No, no, thanks. Cool. And did I ruin your appetite for the rest of the day?

Yeah. Okay. Sounds good. I'm already out the shot, so I'd barely have a... You should try to make it out to Denny's while they have this Masters of the Universe promotion and those green Skeletor milkshakes up. The what? Is that the movie with Hemman?

Yep. Starring Hemman, the Jewish Master, of the universe, the master race of the universe. I have the power, I should have such power. And Scleto R, his neighbor. Not the master,

the chosen people. Skeletora. Accidentally getting the opposite of right and the worst way. Apologies to everyone, including Ken. I should have been a doctor. Okay. And so with that, I believe,

brings us to blame. I'm going to firebolt. Wait, did you just firebolt? No. That was Brian. I did. Okay. So many fire bolts, you guys.

It's not helping the memory. A lot of fire. Okay, here comes some more. Oh, we got, baby. Eight points of damage. Did you mark the damage, eight? Eight? Yeah, boss.

Okay, good. I marked it, Daddy. Don't ever do that again. You didn't like it. You're going to come out of my cute little beans. Gross. Yeah. Super gross.

I say 17 plus 6. Oh, that'll do it. That's it. 3, 2D. 10. Firebolt, firebolt. 17. Nice. Shit. Pretty good for a can trip. I like my...

Yeah, it's the best. More like a can rip. Hey. I'm more of a cone of cold fan myself. It's got an additional, you know, condition. it can apply. It just always do as much damage, but you know, you have to get closer

and kind of like raises the difficulty of the cantrip because you have to be like within range of the cone. You can like hit multiple people. It was just like... The best thing about Dan doing that voice was watching his hair tie itself into a man bun. So I'm going to do some hot yoga after this recording

if anybody wants to come by. I'm sorry, but all yoga is hot. Hot yoga Hey I got a fever of a hundred and three Come on baby going to downward the dog Hot yoga

Hot yoga What do you call it painful yoga I think I'm going to lose my mind Yeah you know what I like about yoga When instead of making me feel good I pass out I like the fruit on the bottom yoga where you have to stir it up.

Blaine, did you shoot him? I did shoot him. Nice. 17.2 of shooting him damage. I'm also going to run. Run over. Why not? And you're cat, so it makes no noise.

Yeah, I'm going to stop really fast and the rug's going to bunch up. roof tiles go flying everywhere but it wasn't me then I'll lick my arm Chris Tallman uh that's a great transformer noise I'm going to

this fucking guy um he's one of those guys I'm going to run 30 feet to the north just to spread out so Ken and I are not next to each other. One, two, three, four, five, six. Something I said.

Oh, you're great. I just don't want to be in a clump. But you are great, especially with that fucking fish spine thing. I will cast, uh, I guess I will do the fire bolt again at that dude. Great. Only a 19, bicket, fortunately. Free knots. I wish you could bardic yourself I can but I haven't I will

I still have one left I will hang on to it bonus action I think that's probably that's that's it

sorry cool cool and Ken is up let's see what I got Rang train. How far away? Oh, yeah, I can do it. Okay. I'm going to cast slow. Nice.

Whoa. That's a whiz save, right? Yes. Hachimachi. Oh, shit. You got a 23. Well, that's going to do nothing. Can I throw my reaction in there? You sure can, the Silverie Barbie one? Bards!

Nice. Whoa. Did you hear who cast it, though? Billy. Somebody gave me a wand, and I'm not giving her back. Chris, you're always so fast with it. Thank you. Dragon's turn.

Well, wait. Does he have to disadvantage? Yeah, he gets to roll again, so give me a sec. And he might fuck up, and he doesn't. Another 23. Damn it. I don't have a binkle. How many, do you have like a limit to how many silvery barbs you can do?

Is that a spellball? It's a spell. So I have spell slots, yeah. Ivory barbs. All right, dragon time. Multi attack. God, the multi-attack is so great for a summoned creature. Multibals.

So that is. Why is that? I forgot what the, save is or whatever I thought there's a claw Wasn't there a claw Well he wants to do breath weapon too And you might be leading with that

Yeah it's rend and then breath weapon Uh Probably deck save For a breath weapon But the But the rend The melee attack roll That's just melee attack roll

Oh that's my role Got it Yeah Yeah DUR All right so that's 15 Miley attack robust

Spell attack A lot of spell My, five. It's 23. Dang. Ah, that's a hit. Excellent. And then 1D6 plus 4 plus the spells level, which is FAMI of.

So, uh... Payev. 4 plus 4 is 8. That's right. Plus 5 is 13. Wait, what? my life is ruined from this information so 13 rend

and now the breath weapon and it's the deck save yes what's he got to beat the DC equals spell save DC Ken are you casting slow I did my question is does that affect the dexterity or anything like that

it didn't work so he made I'm sorry he made a save yeah I feel so sorry DC equals your spell save DC. What the hell? Do you not know your spell save DC? Yes, eight. Looking for the damage on the... Your spell save DC is eight?

Why is that so low? That might be his spell bonus. Yeah. Oh, that's my bonus, yes. You silly news. Because DC is 17. 17, sorry. Great. Okay.

So, where were we? He rolls a 14, so you can have the dragon breathe on him for four. full damage. I like that. Firey. Why's the fucking damage? Uh, bo-bo-boo. Hash browns.

Fire damage. She's three to tears. I really could. We didn't make this. Uh, there we go. 2D6. Okay. Four. What the fuck? Shit-ass roll.

Bullshit. That's a shit-ass roll. Is that, Jesus Christ. A spectral dragon breath weapon is 2D-6? Yeah. Could be better, but you know what? The multi-attack is pretty powerful because, you know, that can end up

being a lot. Yeah, it could have been much better. Let's take a look at that clip. You ended up getting, what, 17 total points of damage? Yeah, I mean, it's, you know. That's not nothing. No. 15, 19 points in damage, yeah.

Nice. That's nothing to be ashamed of. Yeah. Anything else for your turn, Ken? I'm still a shame, though. I will be ashamed. That's God's fault. He wants to be ashamed.

He was running north, and he's going to try it again after using his potion to revive Ken. And pop out another short bow attack. 22 to hit. Nice. And he going to make. He gonna make 29 points of damage. Jesus. Wow. He a beast.

That's nice. Sneak attack. Fucking sneak attack. I love it. I like being an NBC. Who does shit? All right. And then it's going to be Caius' turn.

He apologizes and says he's going to go to therapy. He's going to 12-step meetings. He's been really rude. And then he says, J-K. L-O-L-L and cast Flame Strike again. Nobody laughs. He stares in the middle distance.

The time he's going to spin around and cast it on Blaine. Shit. He's had enough of what's going on over there with the fire bolts. He's been ignoring you for the most part, but you're starting to pile up some damage and he's starting to take you seriously. Can you please do a sturdy saving throw? which I do believe is your specialty.

Yes. 19. Plus four. Oh, that's a save. But I still take some damage, right? Yes. So you're going to take half as much. And it's because you made it,

it's only fire damage. When you fail a save against the flame strike, you also take radiant damage at full volume. So it's really brutal if you miss it. Okay. So 19 points of fire damage halved. That's going to be the old nine points. And Blaine, if you use your uncanny dodge or whatever,

I think you get to have that as well. I also have evasion when I'm subject to an effect that allows me to make a Dex saving throw to take half damage. You instead take no damage. That's it. If you succeed on the saving throw, and only half damage, if you can just take no damage. Take no damage.

I love it. It's insane. I'll take it. Yeah. I'll get my TPK in one day. I'm gonna run up the drapes and flip them off and then run somewhere else. Do that kitty move. And then that's going to take you,

take you our listener to listening to Chris. Me? Chris Tallman. Wait, did I? I think it's, isn't it Brian's turn? Because Brian's after worms. I thought that saving throw meant that he went, and this is why I'm bad at Dunners and Dragons. Brian.

Yeah, we don't want to say anything. I appreciate that. Get him, Brian. Come on. Come on. Pop-pop. 15, probably not, right? Nope, pray not.

Okay. Blenzo? I'm going to, I'm going to fireball him. Why not? I bet you wish. 18. Plus six. 24. That's a hit.

It's hit. 11. 11 points chipped away at him once again. And I'm going to, I'm going to run down here to this corner where I've stored a bunch of hair ties. And now it is truly Chris Tallman's turn. I'm going to take lane to the vectors of those hair ties that he swallows on. I don't want to swallow them, yeah. And continue, one, two, three, four, five, six, riding along the rooftops again to the north,

kind of putting me in like the northwest cornerish of this courtyard. I will, I think the firebolt is still, yeah, this one to make sure I'm still in range. Firebolt is still in range. 28 to hit. Nice That's such a hit Seven points of fire damage Oh yeah

He gets roasted More fall off in chunks Looking a little dizzy over here That is for you Chris That's it for me That's it for you Can you're up I'm gonna cast immolations

What That's a deck save For you Emolation Uh 13 you botches You botches Oh, shit. All right.

Then he takes 8D6 fire damage. Yeah, good. It's going to be good. Yeah, it's eight minimum points of damage. Finish him. It won't be eight either. It'll be probably...

Six. And then here's two more. Hell yeah. 25, 20. 25. I see. Immolations. Emolatade.

Nice Well, he's getting rocked hard Sounds gross And then guess what Huh The dragon's gonna do something Multi-attack

Do it A frightening about it again Yes, rend Roll to rend All right And then he's going to do His death say for the fire weapon Or the breath weapon

That's a 12 So I'm not Right. Noopers. And then the fire attack. Here he, uh, he gets another fucking botch. He botches again. Oh, nice.

So that is, where I think of that. 2d6. 2D6, do you say? 2D6. All right. That's another eight. Hey, all right. Amazing.

Points are points or points, because that adds up. sure does all right he is getting absolutely shredded to pieces but he is picking who he's

going to point fingers of death at and we'll find out whom that might be when next we play nerd poker oh my goodness who could it be

he's got my middle finger at death he's been taking damage over time every time he sees it you see a little tick of hit points disappear over his head

anything Zugano wants the plugs Yeah If you could all check out the darkest Wednesday project I liked it That's it I'll be at Comic-Con on July 25th Talking about Mad TV You know is this episode 80

Yes So we'll be This will be AF for Comic-Con Okay Then forget it Oh, okay. Blaine, I loved your Zan and Jaina cosplay. I believe it'll be July 27th, if I'm wrong.

I'm a guy looking for parking. I've got tour dates, brownprisoning.com. And then also we've got merch. Check it out. Blame. We attribute the success. Save mankind for joining us on this episode. You got walls and a roof.

Oh, you know, we should dig into our nerd poker mail. back. Nerd poker. Where did I park? B3. Are you sure? I thought we were on. We were more stairs. No, it's B3. I remember that barsh. Plus, there's a weird smell and you can see the old Navy from here. Oh, yeah, you're right.

We'll forget to pay until we get to the gate. Can't find our ticket while everybody stacks up behind us and starts hawking. Our all new nerd poker. Thanks for listening to another episode of NerdPoker. You can follow us at patreon.com. poker and you get bonus episodes from there and you can also send us anything at P.O. Box 16069 and Sino, California, 911416. Thanks for listening.