Nerd Poker - The Mountain Campaign - Episode 33

Episode Date: October 1, 2024

Now that we have the world's creepiest lure technique in place (Sarah pretending to be an abused baby dragon) we might just have a fighting chance! As long as Glibbles doesn't botch 10-20 times.  For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

Hey, it's Brian Postain, nerd poker. We're calling it the Mountain Campaign. My friends are here, Sarah, Chris, Blaine, Ken, Engineer Sam Sam and of course our kick-ass DM Dan Telfer. Welcome to Nerd Poker. Hey everybody it's Brian Peasant you're listening to Nerd Poker episode 33 of the Mountain campaign campaign campaign campaign. If you're nasty, Chris is here. Hello. Hello.

I am here and I am nasty. Ken is here. Hi, Brian. I'm naughty. Dan is here. Hi, Brian. I'm silly. I didn't know we had the dwarfs.

Wayne's here. That's Miss Jackson. Yeah, I know. She's canceled anyway. Yeah, thank God. That was a surprise. I think Tito got out just in time. We have Sarah, who's at home, but through the magic of Sam at the end of the table.

She is here. Hello, Sarah. Hi. Half there. They're in spirit. And the man making the magic, Sam. Hello, sweet children. Hey, buddy.

And Willie's walking around checking everybody out. Willie is here, too. She is sponsored by Sierra Mist. You want to thank some people? I sure do. Thanks, Patreon supporters. You keep this show alive. And if you're at the top two tiers, we shout out your names on the air. And there's some names on our little list of of not naughty folks. They go by names like Chris Bakos.

Thank you, Chris. Thank you. Nakama Toys Chicago. Unlimited Toys. Thank you, Fart Collective. Thank you, Brian. I gave you $69 in St. Louis, you son of a bitch. Oh, yeah. Thank you. What their actual name you $69 in St. Louis, you son of a bitch. Oh, yeah, thank you.

What their actual name is, we'll never know. Thank you, Pratt Dudley. Thank you, Eric Wartley. Thank you, Cavill. Thank you, Miss Construzies. It's a ramen and a barbershop. Miss Construzies, you can eat their hair, but not the dog, Stephen Moore.

I don't know. Thank you. I don't know if I did that right. Thank you. I want my name to be Spaghetti. Thank you. 6971milftits. Thank you. A pup named Scoop. Thank you. Luke the Husbetronjibjabous Prime. Thanks, Ed Gein's Leather Jeans. Thanks, Kweef Latifah's Supafoopa. Thank you, that Time Blaine Whipped Panzuzu out at Chi-Chi's. All right.

Yeah. Let's take a look at that clip. Thank you, WV French Fried, which of course stands for West Virginia. Thank you, New Me. Thank you, Mark Edzel. Thank you, Meet for the Ghost. Thank you, Fizzle Whomp Stratocaster. Thank you, New Me. Thank you, Mark Edzel. Thank you, Meet for the Ghost. Thank you, Fizzle Whomp, Stratocaster.

Thank you, Jim Hollingsworth. And finally, with numbers for vowels, thank you, Death Atlas. Blaine, who are those folks brought to us by? Brought to us by... Classic. Sometimes you feel like a nut up your butt. Sometimes you don't. Almond Joy Suppositories got nuts.

Mound Suppositories don't because. Sometimes you feel like a nut up your butt. Sometimes you don't. Almond Joy Mound Suppositories. Get the sensation from Booker Paul. Dan? Thanks, Blame. Hey, I have some questions.

Yeah. So, the Almond Joy Suppositories, I kind of can Hey, I have some questions. Yeah. So the almond choice repositories, I kind of can imagine what those are shaped like. Is the mounds just like loose coconut? No, it's dark chocolate. Oh, thank you. That answers every question. Yeah.

That and your butt. Yeah. My favorite Eddie Murphy song. That and your butt, butt. Oh Oh lord help me fall down the stairs. I farty all the time. I got a piano. Alright folks, it's time for me to say what happened last time on Nerd Poker. Well, I just re-listened to the last episode and Rick said some real fucked up stuff in Glut the Dragon's voice.

My favorite was probably when she made one of the eggs who I will call Ronald cry out and say, daddy, why are you doing this? There's also Glut saying, you dumb dragon, you are the dumbest dragon in the world. Furlnod is already very old and kind of loopy and he was very confused by the extremely high rolls of deception and the actor feat. So right now we have Ferentown. The battlefield that was once a town full of bustling folk has now been abandoned and is the battleground for our heroes and for all not the Topaz dragon.

Pish Posh is of course a mutated Dracolich which for the most part looks like a young adult black dragon except its legs are made of flesh, golem spines, muscle tissue and skulls. Pish Posh now has a very special sheet I was also just showing everybody. One of the things that would have come out of the eggs. This is Ronald if he wasn't killed everybody. We now take you to the action. I'm glad that didn't happen.

Yes, Sarah, I brought, this is one of the things that would have been in the eggs. I don't know if you can see. If anyone wants to pass this down to the phone at the end of the table. It looks like a blob. Give him the willy. Yeah. Roar. Oh, God. Roar. Listen.

All right. Listen, it looks like a Cloverfield production drawing. A fat Cloverfield. If you look up the WizKids like official Kraken thing, I was gonna make the splashy water look like flame and then put horns on him. Willy lay down. Sorry. Sorry, Willy just likes to investigate. Willy, Willy. Willy, Willy Willie lay down. Sorry. Willie just likes to investigate. I don't know that reference. Well up at the top of the turn order we have Dallytail. And Dallytail, I will

visualize this for you by getting the dragon on a stick ready. by getting the dragon on a stick ready. Hi everybody, wee! What was that thing? And did you guys remember the original stage production of Pee Wee's Playhouse, where Captain Carl was played by Phil Hartman? What was the thing that was like, wasn't there like a weird floaty puppet like this

that was supposed to be like a fairy? Wasn't like a flashlight Tinkerbell situation I don't remember. I remember sounds so Yeah, yeah, I remember what the listeners are like, of course, we know what it is. But yeah, not very lucky I think maybe Terry the bad pot so much luckier that yeah I think Terry was exclusive to the Saturday morning show and I'm thinking of like like one of those like Very silly. Anyway, there's a dragon on a stick right now.

Dallytail, he is flying towards City Hall, which is near the Sam and of the table. And you have been firing radiant arrows from over by the house and the dance. He's going towards the cinema because I feel like my memory is that Bricks had just told us all to make our way to the city hall, which I thought was opposite where it was. Is that right, Brock? Well, he flew up high to get to get a look. Sarah, do you remember? I remember that I interpreted that you were trying to lure him towards the city hall. Am I misremembering?

I think that was the plan that had been sort of suggested, but that, yeah, we were trying to get us there first, I think, to set something up. Crush him under the rocks. He's still like observing at 100 feet up plus. So he's like, fix one of the little harnessy things. But so so I know I had him like he was scoping out trying to find where the voice of Glutt and Ronald were coming from. Yeah, it was going toward the egg, right? Which I thought she had thrown in the opposite direction. Well, yes, I thought it was in City Hall. That sounds like I might be misremembering. Sarah, do you remember the direction that you had been throwing?

Yeah, no, it was out in front of the house that we had been hiding in. Okay, so like between the two buildings? Sure, yeah, I mean I'm not looking at it, but it was not meant to be in the direction of City Hall, no. Okay, in my head the back of the house is where Pish Posh and the Dragon first were fighting, which is like way like over here where my laptop is. But so, Deli Tale, he's just, we'll say he's scoping out. Then I'm gonna try and, I guess as carefully as possible, make my follow with Bricks and I think Pishposh, you're, you just started running towards this

City Hall too, right? Yeah, so I will join them and run in for City Hall. Okay. Are you being stealthy or fast? I guess stealthy. Cool. Let's get a check. City hall over there. Yeah. City hall. This building here has this sort of landing here with pillars. Okay. Only an eight. Okay. Well, go ahead and put however much movement Dallytail is going to take towards that building. I guess it would be... but however much movement, Dally Tail is gonna take towards that building.

If I use my action to dash, then it would be a total of 70. How far is it? Each base of your token is five feet. So if you think of the base of your token as representing five feet, it's however many squares of your token, five, 10, 15, 20.

Some way towards the city hall. That was good to me. I do think you got to be a little more generous than that first attempt. So that looks good to me. All right. Bricks, it's you. I have you still in the house over on my end of the table.

Yeah, I mean, I think I was outside to slide that cause I got the egg from Dallytail. Right. Okay. Maybe I snuck back in. I'm not sure. that because I got the egg from Dallytail. Right. Okay. Maybe I snuck back in. I'm not sure. So maybe you're on the roof. Does that sound right? No, I had come down from the roof because I got the egg from Dallytail and then I threw

the egg out and then I was making all my proclamations. That sounds right. Yeah. And then yeah. And then you had, it was sort of, we were getting the suggestion that maybe there was something at City Hall that we could like collapse on him. So that's all I remember about that. So I think I would stand aside.

I remember you either leaned out or climbed completely out of a window. Yes. On this, my left to your right side of the table. So, what would you like to do? So I guess I am gonna, I guess I am going to stealthily try to move to the city hall area where we might be able to do something, but only if I can, or I'm going to try to

stay in cover. Got it. Well, there's not really much cover. There's pretty much open dirt between the two buildings. Oh, it's not a town? It's a town, but it's only, it's like on the other side of the street. Oh, I see. Okay, well, all I can do is try.

There's like, you know, there's an intersection here between the two buildings with like maybe two trees. So we can say, I mean, I'm going to wait until I can see I had sort of, I think that would have been the idea is like, Oh, I'm throwing the egg out. And then I can go in the other direction. Um, Oh, but you know what? Actually, I'm not going to do any of that because right now I'm going to use, um, as my action, I'm going to use wholeness of body to regain 24 hit points.

Oh, nice. Cause you got hit with desiccating breath and that was ouchy. I got like 37, took like 37 points damage. So yeah. I remember wanting to make the clerk's 37 joke when it happened. Okay.

So that's what I did. That's your action, but then are you still going to try to run in the direction of City Hall? So I'm looking to see, um, so let's see. Um, and you're a monk. Can you bonus action dash? I'm looking to see, I can dash. Yeah.

Um, I mean, I can use step of the wind, um, to dash. So I guess I will, I guess I will try that. Cool. Maybe that'll help. Maybe stealthier. You'll get right about where Dallytail is. Do you want to roll stealth? And we'll see if you're kind of in the shade of a tree. Quilts the dragon, hovers above.

That's a 26, Dan. Will that do it? Ooh. A lot more stealthy than Dallytail. Unfortunately for Dallytail, that's very good. I feel good about bricks. I think this is great. We all do at this point because bricks did some fucked up stuff last episode that will go down in nerd poker wiki history.

I don't think Pish Posh is very happy with bricks right now. She's real. If I kill you, you're back over somehow. A couple of episodes ago, there was some real should we leave Pish Posh to die talk? Yeah, I agree. I agree there was. Bricks has some strong feelings on the undead,

but maybe he can talk his way out of it. Let's find out. OK. On this episode. Mm hmm. Up here, folks. I set on my balls. The label. I didn't. Is now up if you are done, Bricks. He is. I am finished for the time being. He is going to try to. Oh, he botched. I was going to try to stealth too. He's just gonna be in the wide open and run past you guys. But very noisily clanking his armored boots and just going,

HUUH HUUH HUUH the whole way over because he rolled a 1 on his stealth truck. Alright. Pish Posh. I'm just taking a bath. Still glumping along. All upon a Tuesday night. Can you please do a wisdom saving throw? Let me make him blame that after all these years.

What's that other answer? 24. 23. All right. You will not descend into bloodlust. What would you like to do for your turn? I will continue plopping over that way. Great.

How far away is this guy? He is 120 feet in the air. Oh, then I'm gonna use my Frightful Pleasant presence against him. Nice. All right. So he makes a saving throw, yes? Yes.

Which? 19? 19. All right. He has a plus eight to his wisdom saving throw. Oh, I hope he rolls low. Nope. That's not. That'll be a 26. Now I can't use it for 24 hours.

No. Yeah, that's him anyway. Is it your second or third attempt at it? Second, I think. Doesn't matter, I can only, if one doesn't work, it's. Maybe we should take a long rest right now so you can use it. No.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yes. Start up the hammock. And you've used your movement. Anything else? No. No, right. It's Furtelnot's turn. So let's see.

He is going to... That was a really high deception check. So he is still trying to figure things out. He is gonna go fly towards the nest and see what's going on over there. Yeah, so he's just gonna zip way to the east. You all see him, you know, look around, be like, what? Ronald! And then he doesn't see the egg or glut and he flies back towards the nest, which is way, way over here. You know he'll be back and so we're gonna stay in combat turn order because I think with your passive insight you would all assume he's gonna leave that nest and fly back in one or two

turns. Yeah that's fine. So set up. We'll go next to Blatt. Yeah exactly you can set up. Oh so he's flying away. How far away is he? Back back to the beach? Yeah, it's back to where the cliffs. So it's it's like hundreds of feet. Okay, in the direction of me. Okay. Yeah. Cool. Then I'm just gonna go with these guys and start getting ready for for something until he comes back in range. Leave the house and run with everyone else. Yes. Yeah. So we dash action it sounds like? Yes. Great. So 5, 10, 15, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20,

20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20 When you run with the crew. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Yeah.

I was making sure my dog. I know it's, it's you're being a responsible pet owner. It can be nervous. Yeah. Pacing. I know listeners don't know what she looks like now. She's very large. She's bigger than Sam.

That's true. That's not saying much. I finally learned not to leave bags full of dice on the floor when I come over. She could be Sam in some kind of like Stan Winston outfit. No, you think that's what we ride her around with. The other day she took it. You're like Andy Serkis. You just have a suit with ping pong balls all over it.

She took a guitar pick out of my hand and then just ran through the house with it. And Melanie had to grab it out of her mouth on the other side of the house. You had trouble meeting. Yeah. You're so sweet. OK. Oh, yeah. So I'm going to join them too, Dan. Sorry. Great. So you'll get about as far as Pish Posh if you use a dash action. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Back up to the top of Dally, too.

I will run again. And yeah, I guess I'll try and be stealthy. He's running. The front. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll describe where you're running to in a moment. 12. Okay. So at this point, Frohnut's turned away from you,

but you think on his action, there's a 50-50 chance he's going to turn back this way. And if he doesn't turn on this next action, I'll a 50-50 chance he's going to turn back this way. If he doesn't turn on this next action, I'll probably do it next time. So this building over here, City Hall, has this stone walkway. And where those two flat pieces of Dwarven Forge rock are, represents that sort of stone walkway leading up to the main doors of City Hall. On that walkway are six pillars

stone pillars and a roof overlooking it the stone pillars are about 20 feet high sorry we're just playing she thinks it's playtime yeah okay so it would be watch the teeth too yes play bites one two three four five so I's enough to get underneath some of the color. Yeah. Okay. Bricks. Yeah, I guess I'm just, it's harder for me to not, sorry. So if, if I am missing something.

I'll do my best with mine. Would you like me to re-describe sort of where everyone's at? But yeah, no, no, no. But like, so are we moving under, there's no plan yet. So I think I'm just, we're just moving as a group to this location. I think everyone is waiting for somebody to sort of say what they're doing once they get to City Hall.

So if you wanted to take a moment to think of what you'd say, please, by all means. Well, I think we were trying to recapture the moment at which we thought we could push a boulder off and hit somebody. So we want to try to draw the dragon inside and then collapse the structure on him. Yeah. Oh, cool.

I know you asked if it looked like there was a structure you could collapse on him. So I inferred that yes, you are going for that. And he could fit under it. So, yeah, I'm just, I'm moving, I'm still moving towards where we get inside and then we can figure out how we're luring him and how we're. Yeah, that's the idea. So if you want to catch Bricks up to Dallytail Bricks, I assume now that you're there, it's really just a matter of everybody

deciding who's going to be the bait or if you're going to do some sort of magic bait. Pish Posh is a volunteer. Yeah, I'm happy to. I like baiting. Would you like to do anything besides dash, Sarah? Would you like to be stealthy?

Would you like to hide right now? I guess I'll I will dash and no, I'm just going to I'm just not even a dash. I'm just because that's a I don't want to use a key point right now, so I will just move and then hold my action.

Back her up a little bit away from Dolly Tale. There we go. OK. Sounds good. OK. And that will be Glibbles. He is going to run and he'll run 5, 10, 15, 20, 25.

He can go all the way to the city hall doors. And he's going to open the door and look around inside for stuff to use. Let's see what the people. Church jokes. Up next is Pish Posh. Still stumbling my way. Do a wisdom saving throw please.

Oh dear. 17. All right. You're not insane. Not good. Yes. 17. So you are going to be able to fit

if you duck underneath this awning. Okay. And I think you can get right up to the edge of it. I think you, I know if you're dashing, you can. Okay. Yes, of course you can't move very fast, but you're very dashing. Sorry, thank you. Cary Grant. It's my pencil mustache.

And is Ken gonna have to make that check every turn? He's gonna have to make that check every turn when some passive elements of combat are in play. I haven't really told him what they are, but Ken if you'd like you can do an insight check. turn when some passive elements of combat are in play. I haven't really told him what they are, but Ken, if you'd like, you can do an insight check to try to figure out what exactly is keeping you on the brink of madness. Yeah, man, I totally want to do that. On the brink of madness.

I know. On your step beyond. Well, so much for that. That's a natural 20, Ken. 20. 20. Perfect. What is my insight 20, Ken. 20. What is my insight? I don't know.

That is a wisdom cut. Which insight? Wisdom. Wisdom. Plus one to whatever my dice is. It's under the table. I would pick it up just in case for Willie's sake. That's a seven.

Nice. Seven total? Yeah. You're not sure what it is, but you do think it has something to do with the violence and mortality that brings you to the brink. All right. Yeah, now it's dice moment searching.

Yeah, when you keep doing the show show and we can find it. Alright. That'll be for all not up next. I just wanted to see if I could help. And now let's see. So he is going to investigate. He doesn't investigate well so he's gonna be over there another turn. Blap. Oh, oh, there it is. Did you get it? Yeah.

Excellent work. Ken, get up! What are you doing under there? They found the dice ages ago! Blaine, your turn. Oh, uh. Those aren't dice. I'm going to, uh, I'm gonna make my way up here as well with the willy.

Do we really lick your ass or something? Well, you're happy. I was talking to him and I'm always looking for his dad. What a weird choice that I love. I know it's very funny. Glittles says, I'm trying to find something that looks like, make it look like an egg or something. Okay.

He's not the smartest goblin, but he is trying to find bait inside. Meow, is there any, can I use my, is it dark in there? There's a lit torch, but it's not as light as it should be. You can do an investigation check. You just won't be able to get around the whole room this turn, because you use most of your- Do you dark vision, Blaine?

I think you do. I do. Tabaxi's 15 for investigation. Okay. I'm gonna double check. Do you officially have dark vision? Have you checked, Blaine? I think. It'd be a little- Yeah, up to double check. Do you officially have dark vision? Have you checked, Blink? I think.

I, yes. Yeah, up to 60 feet. Great. Blink, couldn't Blup also do something like, do you have any spells or like you could polymorph into, like we could just have like, Glut's tail coming out of the area where we want him to go into or whatever?

Oh, that's a great idea. You know, something. Yeah, I was going to say either an illusion or polymorphine something. I think you had that so that it looked like a spell that allows you to turn into the ass of a monster. Right. Which is why Sarah really should be the leader. But then we would like to turn on the game of making be the leader. She just wonders if she likes it or not. The game of making you the leader when you're not ready.

Yeah. I have a polymorph spell that I already tried to burn on this guy and then I have a scroll of polymorph. Ooh. So I could turn glibbles into a dragon ass. Now, that's the thing. How big of a creature can you make?

It's a challenge rating equal to your what? Dragon ass. Equal to, so let's see. I bet it has something to do with your level. I think if you're, you might be, I can't remember it's something like that, yeah. Well, we can use the scroll of polymorph. Yeah.

Right, it's this, but when you cast it, the limitation on the size of the creature, because I'm trying to figure out if you can turn into an Onyx dragon or turn someone else into an Onyx dragon. Onyx. I think we've turned into the... Yeah, go ahead.

Yes, sir, go ahead. No, do it. No, it's harder for me to talk over this. You go. I believe we found that you could turn yourself into a young Onyx dragon, and then we use that enlarged spell to bigify you one more. Okay. So why not be a baby?

You could be a baby Topaz dragon. Or a baby Mixed race. You want to be a baby Topaz Dragon? Can we do that to Glibbles to leave me available? You could absolutely do that. What do you want to do? Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.

I want to be a Topaz Dragon too. Are you going to do it right now? I'll force it at the same time. Should we wait until the scene? No, yeah, we need to figure out what we're doing. Should we wait until, until we see? No, yeah, we need to figure out what we're doing. So we get him. Well, where are we drawing him?

Yeah, well, draw him in within the, well, I guess inside where the door is or is that or under this thing? What I, because I don't know the, the layout of this. Is there a big tower here? It is no, it's just an awning. Like there's stone pillars and then a roof. It's like pillar, pillar, pillar, pillar, pillar, pillar, and then a flat roof 20 feet off the ground here. So, so anywhere in here, the roof would collapse. But if you're trying to get as much good out there as possible, you might,

yeah, I want to put the bait in the door. Try to drive into the door, yeah. Well, we could have- Ken, are you going to collapse the pillars to bring the roof down? That's what I'm going to try to do. Yeah, okay, got it. That's the plan.

My mighty tail butt. We could have Glibbles as a little bait. Your tail butt. Your tail butt has dragon right here. And then when he spots him, we'll just have him move into the thing. Yeah. Okay.

And then down comes to net, right? How much? Dan, for the- Blue stock, babe. Yes, Chris. Ignoring the outer awning or whatever it is, this building, we were sort of thinking this was like a tower or something like that?

It's not, no, I don't know where the tower came from, but it is a tall building. Our collective imaginations. The tallest of buildings. Yes. Okay. It is big. That little sort of foyer area that I've put floor down does not represent the entirety of the building.

It is a large building that gets wider as it goes. So you can go farther in, but I assume since the dragon won't fit through the doorway, I didn't have to put tiles down for the entire building. Gotcha. Yeah. You can probably lure him so his head sticks through the doorway.

Yeah, get his head in there. Yeah. Okay. Let's do it. Do I get to know what's happening here? You get to what? What are you guys talking about? You're trying to be the hero.

I get to be the hero? You're trying to be the hero. Yeah. Oh, okay. Just stand over here. Yeah, and don't look in any mirrors. You're gonna wait till your next turn. You're not doing it right now?

We're gonna, yeah, I think we should wait until. Wait, he needs to know what he's doing. We do actually, you actually need to- It's funny to not tell him, but he could be back any second. So I find it intriguing that you're waiting. Oh, yeah. I thought we were gonna wait until,

like, he was in sight again. I mean, we should sit now. We can do it now and he can just stay in the corner. It'll last long enough to, yeah. Let's set it up. You'll get something out of it. Okay, okay, Geebles, what we're gonna do is meow. We're going to turn you into a baby dragon.

Meow. And that's not where it ends, okay, meow? Okay. Yeah, and you're going to stand here Okay. And that's not where it ends. Okay. Meow. Okay. Yeah. And you're going to stand here and you're going to, uh, and you're going to kind of, uh, wave and, uh, and wag your tail. Yeah.

Shake it up and, uh, sort of Bugs Bunny and drag style. Like a Polaroid picture. Yeah. Do we want them to call like daddy or something? The way that Sarah was sort of being like, daddy, help me that kind of thing. Yeah. We want you to be act like a to act like a sad baby dragon. And then when we wave our checkered flag,

you are going to make your way into the door and completely go through the door. And we're going to try to bring down the roof on the big T.P. Give me a code word. When I hear the code word, I'll run. Okay, the code word is run. Okay.

Meow, meow, meow. So when I say run, meow, meow, meow, you make a, you go for the, you head for the door and you get entirely in the door, please. All right, turn me into a baby All right. Turn me into a baby. What? Okay. I love peanut butter sandwiches.

Yeah. I read the, uh, read the scroll and he's, uh, he's good to go. All right. He transforms into about a, uh, 15 foot high Topaz Dragon, which I'll represent with this Fire Elemental if you want to hand me the Glibbles token. Put him right outside, but yeah. Like right where Bleb is, because he's standing in basically the same place. So put Bleb in the Elemental right by the doorway and give me Glibbles.

We'll put him back in play if mean B. But for now, he's off the table. All right. OK, what was that Muppet Magician's name? All I mean, the sandwiches. Oh, what was it? Great. Good. Yeah, that's what it's like. I'm like, oh, no, because it was Flintstone.

That's right. It's just once the great is. Deb Deb. Is it Mumford or something? The Amazing Mumford. Oh yeah, that sounds right. The Amazing Mumford. Nice. Thanks for being in that, Sam.

Jeeves. Did he have sons that suck? You can make a banjo up here. Okay. And an audience. So that's your turn. And then next is Mordecai. Mordecai, you're heading over towards City Hall where now you see a baby Topaz dragon

as your plan has gone into action. Are you going to lead in any specific way? No, I'm going to try to just stay out of the way and, and what the plan. Yeah. Where is, where is everybody going to form up? So if you put him sort of on the porch, as it were, I'll be like Hannibal from the A team. Is everybody going to be hiding inside or outside? I'm going to be hiding outside.

Okay. You can sort of try to hide. I know you just pulled off some of the on it. It's I told you about that two weeks ago. I know I did. I'll fix I'll put resin on it. He made that out of buggers. Touch it. I used what is it? Thank you. Toxie or whatever. I used a hospital. This is where got, this is where we had the federal cock commission. Ha ha. Yeah. Cock, cock, cock, cock.

I used silicone cock and it didn't work on like I thought. You used the silicone cock? What'd you do with the silicone cock? Like tucked it away. Yeah. Rhodes is right there. What do you, you never used the silicone cock. No.

Silicone cock open for Steel Panther. Okay, so you are going to like, there are like, you know, bushes along the side of City Hall, you can try to hide behind, but it's gonna be very difficult for you to hide. So everybody moved their tokens around. However, I'm gonna ask you Pish Posh and Mordecai to just scoot more this way way because I am giving you a

very limited amount of time to move around and hide. And so Mordecai, you would get about that far and Pish Posh, you haven't had your turn recently. So I need you to go back where you were silly goose. Touched it. That's right. You did touch it for nothing. You learned your lesson. Yes.

I do need to do better with the improvised materials. Our dungeon master's cold blooded. I just put lethal chemicals on things to teach you lessons. Is there fentanyl in this? It is paint. Fentanyl boogers. Enjoy acrylic paint on silicone. The most toxic combination of chemicals known to man, not since the Radium girls

have people been poisoned by paint. Like your thumb, Ken. This badly. I already did. It didn't taste very good. Put it in your mouth. Put it in your mouth. Slowly. Like a snail. But what Chris gave me, he really shamed me.

I didn't mean to shame you. I just was quite shocked. I already do. It's like creepy voice. That was my cool guy voice. Man put it in your mouth. So, you know that, that blep and Mordecai, you two are going to go after for all nuts starts coming. So you might, uh, the good news is blep and Mordecai, you two are going to go after Feral Nut starts coming. So you might,

the good news is Blep and Mordecai are very far this way. So if you're going to hide inside the building, it won't take very long, but Feral Nut might be flying back before you get to take your next turn. So just keep that in mind. See what happens. Indeed, Dallytail, it's your turn.

Are there any like, I don't know, windows or stuff up here that I could maybe use as like a higher perch inside the building? Do a, I'll let you choose perception or investigation. Oh. My perception's plus five. My investigation is plus two. I'll do perception, please.

Well, it's a two plus five, so it's a seven. You can't remember seeing anything. You're currently under the awning, but you feel like maybe if you were to use all of your movement, you would see something. You mean like go inside? Inside, or you could climb up a pillar onto the roof of this awning. I know I do not want to be up there.

Oh, I want to go. Yeah. So I'll move, I guess inside and I can climb too. So we're going to. Right. So you do see once you're in there, there is one large window over the doorway about 10 feet up. It's not much. All right, well, I guess whatever movement I have left, I'll start climbing the

inside of the wall to try and... Great. And I'm going to task you with something, Chris, which you don't have to necessarily do. We could do this between episodes. Where are we? About how many minutes left, Sam? We have about 15 minutes. Great. So if you would like, you can start building, like with these, just enough of a flat surface for Dally Tail to be up on the windowsill. You mean like this? Yeah, exactly like that. I got about 15 minutes. I can do that. Where is that in relation to where the roof is going to collapse? Are you in the same room?

It's pretty close. It's next to it. No, Dan was suggesting that I could climb on top of the thing that was going to collapse. In here. Here's a tile with a door on it. I don't want you up there. Yeah, he's not going up there. Be safe.

No, he's going next to it. I'm going more building. And do we have any plan to deal with all the pillars to make sure that something's going to fall other than my hitting it. I can fire from where I am. Okay. Definitely had a pillar. This is like a window.

Oh. Okay. This is like a window. This is like a wall. Right? Uh-huh. This is like a wall. Sarah, between episodes, I'll send you a photo of this.

Yeah. Okay, and so he's looking down on the area where the roof is gonna fall? walls. So between episodes, I'll send you a photo of this. Yeah. OK. And so he's looking down on the area where the roof is going to fall. I guess. Yeah. I'm sure listeners want to know too. So he so Dallytail is climbing up to look down upon the room. Another tile to be the roof there.

Yeah, it's sort of I'm past the area that's going to collapse. I'm further into the building where it starts going up. I'm sending you a digital photograph. Oh, all right. Wait, if I remove my a dig pick. It's dick pick. It's a

very hard. We'll be right back. Okay, I don't like very hard. We'll be right back. I like Baiten. OK, because Baiten can make you mine. Brexit is where I turn my eyes. I feel it fire when the lights are out. And Dallas, you're just being so right. Yeah, I think I had to use my action to dash, right, to get up there. So I think I'm just getting out there. I got to wrap it up to dash right to get up there. I heard the door. I think I'm just getting out there. I gotta wrap it up.

Cause my wife is back. Well, I'd like to be staying totally clear of the building, even if only part of it's collapsing. Yeah, right. Is there is there a nearby? I mean, I think this is a great idea. And some of it was mine. Bricks.

You're a smugly. Bricks. I mean, trademark. Smugly. Bricks. But you can probably help pull it down. I don't, I know. Is there a way, is there any way to be, you're saying the pillars are inside so that I'd have to go inside to help with the pillars. Well, no, the pillars, so there's a frontal area to the building. Over the open floor, there's a roof and that's where we're going to collapse.

You don't see the roof. It's physically attached. Yeah. Yeah. I sort of see, Oh, you're making me dizzy. Wee. Yeah. Yeah.

It's see others in the camera where the, where the orange guy is, is a flat area. And over that is a roof that you there does not hear. You can't see, but between the two doors. So that's where the collapsing is going to happen. The building is beyond that. Okay. Got it. Okay. Then I guess I'm just going to happen. The building is beyond that. Okay. Got it. Okay, then I guess I'm just going to follow Dallytail.

So I'll use my actions dash and catch up with Dallytail if he's scouted the area and it looks good to him. I trust his force sense. Yeah. Yes. And you said it's a 10 foot window. So it's big enough for both of us to kind of be stationed in the window.

Great. It is. And I'll get like, I'll show another between episodes, like sort of visual reference. So we can take a second to think about what this ideally looks like as we take advantage of signal. So. What's this?

That I was using as a tree to represent a tree. It is a tube, that dice work. Goodbye tree. Okay. Glibbles, it's his turn. Do I start yelling yet? Well, I moved him to the front here where he's gonna wave and shake his little moneymaker.

Mm-hmm. Okay. And yeah, meow, meow, meow, start going, where's mommy? I made a boom boom or whatever, just baby it up. Okay. And yeah, meow, meow, meow, start going, where's mommy? I made a boom boom or whatever, just baby it up. Okay. Help me daddy. I want you to know because I'm an NPC, I'm taking all of your dialogue to be law.

And what I do is going to be fright niggly similar to the exact word choice you use. So if it's very meta, it's gonna include weird meta shit, just so you know. Yeah, say, hold on to my potatoes, or your potatoes. Yeah, say, hold on to my potatoes. Give him good instructions. No time for love, Dr. Jones, got it.

Yeah. Yeah, what would you like him to do specifically? He's ready to yell, improvise daddy stuff and I won't. The thing is he will roll a deception check. Just be a daddy help me, help me daddy. Daddy help me daddy. Daddy help me, oh God. Please help me daddy.

You gotta help me. All right, I'll be, just a quick line reading. Daddy help me, oh daddy. That's good. Can we do it? Can we do a little more like Mark Lynn Baker? Sorry, my turn is up. Okay.

All right, Pish Posh, you're- I'm gonna scootle around. Okay. Scootle. And there's gonna be, you're trying to hide in like bushes, right? Whatever I can hide in, yeah. So stealth check, please,

as you are attempting to Slowly hide the scootles a skipper key mix with the poodle Yeah, it's the downside of putting a face I Think it's like a combination of phones triangulating face has Bluetooth in it. So I believe still is Dex, yes. It's an 11. Okay, so you don't feel too hidden yet, but you are also not completely in the brush that is sort of just past that wall, corner wall. Good. But are you done with your turn? It's a real question. I think you are. Yeah. I will see if I can see where the dragon is. Well, that is great because it is about to be his turn. And so I was about to have everybody roll a perception check. Oh, that's what I was gonna do.

All right. Probably everybody. Everybody. Eight. Everybody, everybody. 18. Nine. Mm-hmm. 21. Perception.

Ooh. Yes, perception. 13. All right, the only two who are going to be able to see this are Dally, Tail, and Pitchposh, but you can see this. Mm, yes. My stealth is a plus six, so it's actually a 17. Cha cha. Yeah, you do have.

I am new to these stats and the stats are laid out like a NPC or a monster. Not a PC. So it takes some layout. Maybe. Yeah, you're hitting a little better. But yes, you two, Dally, Tilly and Pish Posh, see this amber colored streak of light headed your way. It looks like he's like right about, he's flying very quickly in your direction. He's right about here.

Okay. And that's where he's gonna end his turn, but he's flying like a maniac towards you. So he's definitely gonna get within a danger range his next turn, not yet though. He's definitely scoping you guys out. You can't seem well enough to know like if he's making eye contact with you

or has any idea what he sees. He's not yelling anything yet, but that you too can see that he is over here moving very quickly. He's coming. Yeah, we'll share that with the group, right? Look him. Blah, boop son.

I'm gonna go, okay, remember your lines. Start, okay, and- Oh, Johnny. And action meow. It's not my turn yet. Well, my turn is yelling action at the- Okay. At glibbles.

And I'm going to sort of hide behind a curtain. Roll a stealth check, please. So that my owner thinks I got out. 11. All right. So you're behind a bush with an 11 stealth check. Up next is Mordecai. I just continue to get out of the way.

Are you gonna go inside or are you gonna hide in a bush? Hide in a bush. Okay. So give me a- I'm following the building. Give me a stealth check. a stealth check and we'll put your token farther this way. Stealth. Blaine, can you put Mordecai like past the brick wall that way outside? Yeah, perfect.

In slopes. Eight. Okay. Everybody is rolling a little low, but you are about to have a very loud distraction. It glibbles. Uh, Dallytail, you're up. Oh, again? Sweet.

This is the last dude. No, because you see Feral Not Coming. This is your last dude. I will hold my attack. Um. He's in range? No, because we want him to go inside. I don't want to attack him.

I want him to be lured in. Then you know what I will maybe do is I will hold movement and my trigger is going to be the dragon getting to here, which is Sarah. I'm basically next to you and I'm like, I'm going to jump. As soon as he gets into range, I'm going to get out of here to see you ready. And I'll share that with Bruce. Get out of the, I'm so confused. Well, I'm not going to stay here.

Watching the collapse. You're not watching the collapse from here. I might, but I might fire from here. So you're not. Well, I'm not going to stay here. You're not watching the collapse. You're not watching the collapse from here. I might, but I might also leave. Okay. Well. Just warning you. Well, we don't know what that dragon will do, do we? Okay. So I'm holding a move.

Okay. Bricks, it's your turn now. Happy to re-describe the geography if it is confusing. Yeah, you can just let me know if I say, oh, I wanna stay here until hopefully the pillars collapse on this guy and then do something. Is that a reasonable, am I in a reasonable place to do that?

You are. You are slightly exposed in the window as a potential distraction unless you hide though. Okay, so I will hide. Okay. And then, and that's what I will and then I will wait hopefully to then. Are you trying to yeah so it's a stealth check if you want to maintain kind of a visual unfurl knot so if you want to do that that'd be great.

Okay. Or I wouldn't make you roll if you're just, you know, going to duck around away from the window inside. Uh, it's a 12. It should be behind a wall. Okay. You know, you're kind of, you can kind of, if you could, uh, Chris kind of bring her token more inside to the side, they put your token more in directly in the window. This is so exciting. Stevie.

Yeah. And then hopefully when he gets smushed, like s'mores or whatever, then I can just attack his marshmallow body. Got it. Marshmallow body. Is that your turn? It is. Marshmallow body.

Let the marshmallow bodies sit on the graham crack floor. It is now Glibble's turn. Some more of that, please. Your polymorphed baby Topaz dragon. Really? Mm-hmm. Some more of that. Here we go. Your polymorphed baby topaz dragon. That's totally true. He's going to come out away from the porch five feet. And then he is going to say very loudly towards for all as he flies closely. These people are torturing me. And they were going to murder me, the one with the wings was going to cook me into a stone.

That big dragon man that was caught by Eowelio was going to bite me in half. And then the squirrel was going to crawl in my butthole like Richard Gere. All right, save me, bye. And he then runs 35 feet, so seven steps. Shouldn't have told him no improv. Yeah, you're off, I thought you were off book.

He has to end it a bit too much. One more that way. Yeah, can we get one where we just do what's on the page? Just another one for safety. Pish posh your turn. I mean, that's a good one, but. Just pick a director and an occupation and just. Spielberg, damn test.

I'm just gonna prepare. I mean, I'm gonna hold my action, I guess. All right. Hold your actions of, wait, what will you do when what happens is how that'll work. When he gets under this, I'm going to attack a pillar with my tail. Okay, well, it is now Furlnout's turn. He is going to fly in very quickly and land with a loud and lower his head to try to see underneath the

porch and figure out what is happening with his fake baby. So he's like right here. Baby, he's right here. Baby, his back is loaded the ground. Not that far. Not that he's he doesn't have that much movement. He has a lot of movement, but he was way back here. So he's he's and he's he's just like, look, looking completely caught in rage. He doesn't he doesn't, you know, roar or anything yet,

but he's he's desperately trying to figure out what is even happening. It was very strange bit of screaming he just heard. And It was a very strange bit of screaming he just heard. And what is that for the deception check that Glublez did? That is a 20. So. Which is a good roll. It turns out Blap went to Juilliard. Yeah.

It is your turn Blap. I'm gonna go, one more, we're still rolling. I'm happy to see you. Yeah, I'm just staying hidden. Roll another stealth check, please. Hmm, about a nine. Good to know. And then Mordecai. Yeah, I haven't moved.

Sure, but you rolled low last time. I wanted to give you another chance to get a little more hidden. Same with Mordecai. So you I haven't moved. Sure, but you rolled low last time. I wanted to give you another chance to get a little more hidden. Same with Mordecai. So you're going to stealth check again, Brian? Yeah, yeah. I know. He's so deceived. 14. Excellent. So all the players are in, you have actually set a trap. We'll have to see how that goes on our next episode of Nerding Poke. Oh, nice.

Woo. What happened, Sam? All right, episode 33. We're still battling the giant dragon on a stick. I accidentally riled up Willie too much and she barked. We're gonna knock down a roof on the dragon. The amazing Mumford's voice is based on that of famous comedian WC Fields.

Is Pish Pasha dragon? Is someone on fire? What are these tokens? Little Stevie stopped by, then little Billy stopped by. The dragon landed and is approaching us. That's fair, nice. BrianBassane.com for Tour Dates as always. I've got some good ones coming up in the fall.

I've got Dallas. I think it's the Granada Theater with JT Habersat. And then he and I are doing a thing near Austin on, I believe, the 18th of October, where we're going to show the movie Silver Bullet and talk during it. Oh, yeah. I'm flying to Austin to do that and then go on to Dallas with JT the next day. And then we JT and I'll be in San Diego at the end of October. And then I've got friend of the show and Guy Obelam is with me in San Francisco in November. And I've got some cool stuff.

BrianPersain.com and Rifters and Grommets in your local comic book shops. I have set up some stuff on my website. So if, I don't know if you guys know, I actually got to consult on the Dungeons and Dragons on our Amongst Thieves movie. And you know, I've written for D&D proper before. So I set my website up and I'm, I like have a gig

where I'm gonna like go to a school in Chicago and teach Dungeons and Dragons to kids. And so I have all kinds of like consultant rates and shit up there. So if you go to dantelford.com, that's all that. Yeah. D&D consulting. Love it.

Blaine. We attribute the success of saved mankind from... Thanks for joining us on this episode. You got walls and a roof. Well... On the next Nerd Boker, Ken and Sarah are caught smoking and Dan makes them smoke an entire pack of cigarettes. Can Chris get back from the AMVM with the cigarettes in time?

All this and Sam sits on his balls wrong and Brian makes him sit on an entire pack of balls. On an all new Nerd Poker. Thanks for listening to another episode of Nerd Poker. You can follow us at patreon.com slash nerd poker and you get bonus episodes from there and you can also send us anything at P.O. Box 16069 and Sino California 91416. Thanks for listening.