Nerd Poker - The Unstable Stable - Part One

Episode Date: April 22, 2020

In this two-part Danger Room bonus adventure, all our regular cast is here to explore an old stable rumored to contain a treasure, guarded by dark magics. And who should be there to help but the charming Mister Evelyn, portrayed by Paul F. Tompkins! Paul is playing a bard, so you better believe we are going to try and tempt him to sing within the first few minutes of the show.

Hey guys, since we restarted the podcast three years ago, we've accumulated a lot of bonus episodes for our Patreon supporters. We're trying to think of fun things to do with them, and given that times are tough, we thought we'd share a couple of our recent bonus episodes that we thought were especially fun with Paul F. Tompkins, recorded December of 2019. Paul plays a bard, and not only does he sing, but he has a magic hat and things get really silly. So we're putting both of these bonus adventures in our free public feed so all of our fans can enjoy them. And of course, we know times are tough, so we wanted to also say thanks,

big thanks, huge thanks to everyone who supported us on Patreon. By subscribing over there, you keep the podcast going and we really, really, really appreciate you contributing that way when and if you can, when we know it's not easy. So please enjoy this extra silliness and stay safe. Hey, everybody. I'm Brian Poussin. Comedian, writer, actor, nerd. I've been playing D&D with my friends for a long time. I decided to do a new podcast where we play Dungeons & Dragons in my very own dining room. With my wife, kid, and my noisy dogs.

So meet my friends... Sarah Kev Dan Clay Chris Now it's time for another episode of Brian Poussin's Nerd. noisy dogs. So meet my friends Sarah, Kev, Dan, Clay, Chris. Now it's time for another episode of Brian Poussaint's Nerd Poker. Season 3.

Hey everybody. Hey everybody. Nice. Oh my god. One more I'm everybody Hey everybody I'm Brian Posehn

You're listening to Brian Posehn's Nerd Poker Yo what's up you all know me Rhodes He's coming to rap What are you doing dude Talking to that rectangle His name is Rhodes he's here to say something Ah sponsor miss you missed talking to that rectangle? His name is Rhodes. He's here to say something. Ah, sponsor my Sierra Mist.

Weirdest. Ka-ching. Oh my god. Rhodes really wants free Sierra Mist delivered to this house, and he will get on any podcast to have it happen. Sierra Mist. Loves it.

One final time. Especially right before and during bedtime. This is all gold. Hey everybody, I'm Brian Poussain, and you're listening to Brian Poussain's Loves it. One final time. Especially right before and during bedtime. This is all gold. Hey, everybody. I'm Brian Poussaint, and you're listening to Brian Poussaint's Nerd Poker. A special bonus episode for September. My friends are here. Sarah.

Hello. Ken. Hi. Dan. Hi. Blaine. Hi. Chris.

Hello. And special bonus friend, Paul F. Tompkins, everybody. Hi. From comedy and friendship. I'm from comedy. And the next friend. Don't forget the end of the table. Yes.

No, I know. At the end of the table, as always. Now you made me sound like a mad Adam. I know. I was going to. How could you forget him? I wanted to do the guest first. I'm excited

that Paul's here and also that Sam's here. Hi, everybody. Thanks, Sam. By the way, I think it should be called Sierra Hit because I love it.

Oh, I get it because it was a favorite of my household. It failed like a, like it whiffed, is what you're saying. It's no Crystal Pepsi. But we cut that part. Thanks anyway.

You still got the plug in. It's all going to be on the bonus features. I'd like to thank some of our Patreon supporters. They go by names like Salacious Grimlock. Thank you, Salacious Grimlock. That's a Dan Telfer reference. Is it? Salacious?

I wrote Return of the Jedi. People forget that. Thank you, Andrew Gerald. Thanks, Andrew. Thanks, Andrew. Thank you, Ziggy Kielmeister. Thanks, Ziggy. Thank you, Paquito Torpedo.

Ziggy Kielmeister. Thank you, Arkblast. Thanks, Arkblast. Thanks, Lawrence Medina. Thanks, Lawrence. Fuck you, Lawrence Medina. Oh. And thank you, Arkblast. Thanks, Lawrence Medina. Thanks, Lawrence. Fuck you, Lawrence Medina. And thank you, Stretch Armstrong's Savaged Scroat.

Thank you, Stretch Armstrong's Savaged Scroat. It's full of that red goo. Oh, no. When I was a kid, we got a Stretch Armstrong for Christmas. My brothers and I, we immediately... I mean, we stretched him for a while. And then we're like, I guess that's all this guy does.

Then we threw him out the window to see if he would make a perfect cartoon shape in the snow. He did. And then we forgot about him. And then when the spring came, he was cracked and all of his red goo was running out. It was grisly and gruesome. Just like us. Somebody I read ate that stuff. It's corn syrup. Wait, what?

Yes, I read online that somebody ate, they were like, I loved to cut open Stretch Armstrong's and eat it. It's corn syrup. Okay, well that actually makes me feel better because when I read it, I felt immediately like I was going to throw up.

It's Stretch Ware Strong where you get the curse of Stretch Armstrong for a lot of the nasty kind of blood. It's like a gusher. Wait, how many Stretch Armstrong's a lot of the Nasty Guns blood. It's like a gusher. Wait, how many Stretch Armstrongs were they going through? I think they just kept

rebuying them to eat them. I keep one on the nightstand. The parents are like, are you going to eat this one? No. All right, put it in the freezer. Do you toast yours? I toast mine.

She's just sweetening her coffee. Well, we're going to play Dungeons and Dragons. Have you played Dungeons and Dragons before, Paul? I have. It's been a very long time but i have yeah yes can i ask i think our listeners would be very curious what did you do like what what do you remember the adventure what character you played your character's name i don't remember the character's name i think i was a thief maybe it was a long time ago. Playing high school or college? I'm an old person. Huh?

Yeah. Soon I will be gone from this earth. Oh. I'm so glad we fit this in right before the end. Yeah, I know. Where you going? The Oort cloud? Do you remember if you, like, stabbed anything?

A little thief style? Did you steal anything thief style? Yeah, I think I stole some stuff thief style. Where I was like... I'm glad you remember the lingo. I steal that. And then they were like, you did it. Did you roll dice for it?

Yes, that's how D&D works. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Now, who were you playing with? I was playing with a guy named, I think a guy named Michael Leland was the DM. And then maybe it was my friends Owen and Shane. Cool. Could be.

Well, they're here tonight. What? They're on the patio just like, I hope he mentions us. Like you don't see him. We have our sort of main story that we do when it's just us. But since we have a guest here, we like to do some one-off adventures. A bottle episode.

A bottle? You know what we're doing here. Sure. We call it a danger room in honor of the X-Men's training grounds. And we've got a variety of characters. And I, myself, am not 100% sure who everybody's playing. So I would like to go around the room and have everyone say, Hey, Chris. Yes.

Who will you be playing today? Tonight I'll be playing Verdun Fel, the grave priest. I claim the souls of the dead for Char. Oh. Rude. Really? But he's doing it for Char. That's kind of selfless.

Who's Char? She is the darkness. She will come for you, Paul. That doesn't sound not rude. Blaine, who will you be today? Oh, it's come for you, Paul. That doesn't sound not rude. Blaine, who will you be today? It's me, Blackie Green. Blackie Green. Now, would you tell Paul

what Blackie Green does? He does. Well, his player class, I think, would be at least semi-interesting in the future, even if Paul is disgusted by all this D&D talk at this point. Let me look up what I was. Just trying to do some introduction type stuff, Paul. No, I'm not disgusted by anything.

Of course you're not. You're not rude. No, I'm an open-minded person. I'm not like, sharp. Well, I'm a half-elf. Guess which half? And I'm a warlock, but I don't like war, so I'm more of a peace lock.

Brian, who will you be today? I'm Bodhi. I'm a of a peace lock. Brian, who will you be today? I'm Bodhi. I'm a half-orc barbarian. Also an outlander. And I'm extreme. You're on Outlander? No. Oh my gosh. I was going to say congratulations. That was Sean Connery, right? Oh no, that was Outland. Everyone, you should put your minis up here as you get into this. We will soon be encountering creatures and stuff. Hey, Ken, who are you?

I am Chet. What? The Hardy Boys friend? You rolled up a new guy. A male. Male, obviously, because I'm male. Water Genasi sorcerer. Amphibious. Genasi? Yes, I can... Not Nazi. Genasi. No one said that Genasi. No one said that.

No one said that. You're 100%. Everybody's always saying that to me, so I'm sorry to jump. And I can breathe air and water. Okay, cool. I can too, but only one is bad. Sarah, who will you be today? I'm playing Grima today a stout halfling

small but fierce and with her big sword that's that's what I'm doing Grima

fantastic Paul now I know who you are but please tell I'd like to tell you I'm playing as Mr. Evelyn

and he is a bard and he's a pretty cool dude. Yeah. Mr. Evelyn? Mr. Evelyn. Now, I told you that you could have a special magical item in advance.

Yes. Would you like me to explain to the group, or would you like to give us a little? Dan offered me a choice between two things, and the thing that really jumped out at me there was no contest was a magical hat that could produce small animals that i can tell what to do because he also has animal friendship as i got animal friendship yeah i feel like this is something you've always wanted yeah i wouldn't mind it you know what i mean is he also wearing a bowler is his hat a bowler no his hat is like sort of like a musketeer hat it's a big fancy hat with huge plumes and stuff yes yes yes yes did you dream about this when

you were working at hats in the belfry in philadelphia is he like so he's like a fancy bard he's kind of yeah yeah he's like kind of a fancy pants he's very theatrical fancy bard Yeah, yeah, yeah He's very theatrical He's a bit of a dandy This isn't something we always do But sometimes when people play bards They like to sing a little song When they make their spells happen Oh, I don't know if I'm going to do that

Come on, I think we could probably hear a couple of spells We'll see We'll see So you guys are sort of doing the standard adventure beginning when certain party members may not know each other and the Dungeon Master has had mere moments to figure out narratively how that's going to work. So you're tracking down a lead.

You heard there is a very valuable treasure in this place called the Mirror Bank Stable. This is a horse stable that failed many years ago. It's built into the side of a mountain, and I guess horses don't like living in caves. Or mountains. Yeah, yeah.

No, yeah, it didn't work out great for those horses. But there supposedly are some dark creatures living in there guarding a powerful treasure that have taken over the empty space inside this mountain um and uh you all met up in a nearby town you kind of like trekked up the side of this mountain trail where horses used to be dragged into this horrible cave ranch um and you all meet up outside this cave. So now we know,

we already know each other. Well, I personally have never met Ken's new character or Paul's character. So at least, although you four have gone on adventures before there are two new party members. I guess it's time for the meet cute.

As you go, you do see in the cave there's like a space where there used to be a sign that's fallen down. The rock face is kind of like a big arch and it goes into darkness. What does the sign say? It's gone. There's like a big pale

square where the sun darkened around it. Is there like the shape of a foot on crutches by any chance? Ah, no. Oh, yeah, that's right. That closed down. Yeah, happy foot, sad foot. It's now inside EK.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you want to make a pilgrimage to it. Poor foot. My kid's got a shirt with it on it. He loves it. I hope so. He's very sad. You got a shirt in time?

Yeah. Did you get it online or did you go to the foot doctor? No, we went to EK in exchange for this announcement. It's kind of weird if you fuck up your kid's foot just for that shirt. It's Y-Q-U-E. If you're trying to figure out how to pronounce it, it's a store on Vermont. Oh, it's Spanish. And what?

S-O-C-K-S. It's right next to a place called the library. Am I pronouncing that right? The library. Alright, you are now outside the cave. Let's go in the animal torture cave, right? Animal torture cave? That's what you invented.

Let's go exploring. Let's go check out what's inside here. Roll to go home. Who's sneaky? Who can stealth in there and protect us? Does anybody have a high stealth bonus that would like to check this out? I don't know because my character's new. I got a plus three. Mr. Evelyn, I believe, has a plus four to stealth.

Sneak on in. What an opportunity for you to ingratiate yourself with the rest of the group. Oh, yeah, plus four. So, Paul, it sounds like you have been nominated without your input to go and sneak into the cave. That's all right, friends. I'll go into the cave. Thank you, perfect stranger. I'm very stealthy.

We met at the tavern last night. Although we had quite a few ales. Will you roll a 20-sided dice for me and add the plus four of your stealth modifier? He's proficient also. Well, then you get to roll twice and take the higher number in addition to this. I got 15.

All right, so you get up there and you hear snorting sounds. Sounds like a large, at least humanoid size being is sort of making loud grunting noises as if it's eating something. I feel like I hear grunts and snorts. Almost as if

chewing is going on. Each other? I say fellows. Like lovemaking? Not that kind of chewing. What? Just roll with it, Brian. Just roll with it. He means masticating.

I hope you don't misunderstand that one. Can he talk to us right now or is he too far away? I can say with that 15, he can sneak back without having to re-roll his dice. Hey, there's grunting and chewing going on. Like ghost horses? Can he see? It doesn't seem like a horse.

It seems like a sort of a side he didn't really peek I mean you can you can go back again and do a stealth and then a perception check let me go back let me go back

alright roll your stealth again and then 20 yep should we ask all the questions so he doesn't have to keep coming back and forth

6 6 so we have dark vision yeah is there something you want to tell him to look for while he's doing it?

Monsters. What kind of monsters? Murder monsters. Okay. Thank you. That's helpful. Anybody else request? What were your roles, sir?

I'm going to go with a six, which was the higher of the two numbers. Okay. Wow. Yeah. And that's for your stealth. Yeah. Okay. But you have a plus to that, right?

Don't you have plus? Did you say it was plus four? Oh, yeah. So ten. Ten. All right. Well, that's for your stealth? Yeah. But you have a plus to that, right? Don't you have plus... Did you say it was plus four? Oh, yeah. So ten? Alright, well, that's not as bad. A better outcome than if you had had a six. Can I get that higher one here? Oh, go ahead. What do you want to cast? I'm going to cast Dark Vision.

You don't get this game. So roll Perception now. He cast Dark Vision on you, so now you can see in the dark. Who did? I did. Oh, thank you. You're welcome. Indubitably Same as a 20? Yeah and

I'm looking up your bonus For perception It is a plus one And let me apologize To the listener For all of my questions About the dice Oh no that's fine

That's totally We ask them all the time I've been playing for years And I always ask questions Well you only get to roll Once this time. Oh, sorry. Well, then I got a 16.

Okay. Very good. All right. Thank you. Doesn't it feel good? It does feel good. You kind of slip for a second. Get a picture of me with him in that roll.

With the 10, you kind of slip in the gravel for a second. You don't make quite as sneaky an approach as you would like, but you don't make a loud noise. Steady, Evelyn. You get up around the corner and you peek. And with your newfound dark vision ability, you can see sitting on a stool by a door, there is a humanoid-sized creature, bipedal. It's like chewing.

Who's bipedal? Huh? Nothing. It's cool. The guy sitting next to me. It's cool. Whatever that happens, Paul, it means in a week I will be listening to this and go, oh, that was a joke.

And so he's like just gnawing on bloody ribs. He's got this hyena-like face. Well, chaps, I'm afraid it's a. Sneaking back to them and you're telling them. It's a hyena face, man. And he's eating some ribs and not like the kind you want him to be eating what kind maybe like too big maybe he wants his baby back baby back baby baby back baby back baby back baby he wants his baby they're probably not baby ribs

but they might be daddy ribs or horse ribs why is that worse than a human? They're huge. That's what they use for the Flintstones live action. Means you gotta make a choice or else I will move the narrative action forward whether you like it or not. Should we go talk to that guy? Talk to him? Let's talk to him with our knives.

First we say hello. All he's doing is eating. But he's eating a horse. And he did see one. You got a pretty good look and you feel like he's like on guard duty by himself i just saw the one guy oh he's on so now we heard this has there's treasure here is that you did hear there's that's how it's pronounced treasure yeah yes okay so but it's supposed to be abandoned yeah but it's not abandoned no okay there's a guy eating in it so do you want to go talk to him yeah let's do it i want to i i'm bringing my sword obviously okay are you gonna draw the sword no i think we let's go say hi okay you're not gonna leave the sword in the dirt outside we'll give this hyena man a chance oh all

right i'm going to cast invisibility on myself wonderful while you guys approach him and i'm going to sort of walk past him to see that other guy go? Alright, so the rest of you guys are just approaching. Are any of you trying to look like scary? Are you trying to scare this guy? Are you trying to be nice? I'm trying to be nice. I'm very charismatic. Not to brag. But perhaps I should do the talking initially

and then we'll see. Love it. Was that a breed of person or a race? Do an insight check. Okay. Vaguely offensive. Truly, there is no comfortable way to address this.

It's always like a one-shot in this game. Are you a one-off or what? Yes. You know it to be a gnoll. That's G-N-O-L-L. Oh, no! They're very tall. They're like your size. Can I use my face-changing amulet to disguise myself as a gnoll They're very tall, they're like your size Can I use my face changing amulet to disguise myself as a gnoll?

Don't you only have that as your other character? No, I have one Every one of his characters has that This is an amulet that Bodhi acquired a long time ago And it's been notarized Will it work? You're doing this right before you round the corner, right?

Do a deception check. Okay. Eleven. Okay, so, you know, your face changes to what? What do you want it to look like? A knoll. It looks more like a knoll than a half-orc, which you are. Okay.

But your biology is a little off, perhaps. It's a little dark in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This will probably make him feel more comfortable when Mr. Evelyn, was it? Mr. Evelyn. Mr. Evelyn. Evelyn is a He-Man character, if I'm not mistaken.

You can also pronounce the name Evelyn. That's true. He's going to go talk to this gnoll, right? Are you going to go together, though? Yeah, with you guys. Yeah, we're all going as a weird gnoll guy. And I'm invisible! Right, so you roll...

Not anymore. I'm going to have you do with advantage, Blacky Green, roll a stealth check. So you get to roll twice. I do? You sure do. Oh, man. That's what advantage means.

Twelve? Sorry, sorry, sorry. I had the baby back rib song in my head now. It happens. That's what advantage means. Twelve. Sorry, let me check. I have a baby back rib song in my head now. It happens. That's a fifteen. And that's not a good, that's a six. Alright, so

Blacky Green, you head ahead of the party and you get over there. There's a lot of room. It's like a big sort of open area once you round the corner. It looks like maybe they used to show off horses here and this gate. Don't they? Huh? Right? But he is the only guy

and he's sitting on a tall stool. There's also not a lot of room here to hide behind things. It's pretty open space, but you're able to like maybe get behind him a little bit if you sneak real close with that stealth role. You can get pretty close. Okay, so and there's nothing really past him except this big room no it's a gravel ground um on a very old sort of chiseled out rock this this gate is wood but

it's a it's a stone archway um and then it's stone walls you'll have to get through this gate and pass this guy to get inside the stables. And he's got a I think he's got a key or we can open something. It looks like it's got a little keyhole on there. You don't see a visible like ring of keys on his belt unless you want to get close and check. What is this fun home? The rest of you guys approach.

The Noel looks up from his ribs. Hello. How do you do? My name is Mr. Evelyn. Perhaps you've heard of me. I'm a bard of some renowned song stories. I don't like music.

Well, I'm not playing any at the moment, so out of respect. Thank you. Do you mind if we, my friends and I, just sort of go a little further into the cave? I don't know if you're employed here in a guarding fashion. I mean, you look very impressive and very scary. Thank you. You're welcome. And of course, we're all very terrified. I like compliments.

Well, who doesn't? And you deserve all of them roll a persuasion check 19 and you have a bonus if i'm not mistaken you are not oh he has a plus seven to persuasion you you guys. He is indeed very charismatic. So that is a 26 on the persuasion roll, about as high as you can get. So he's kind of a little still tense,

but then he starts laughing. He does that creepy ass hyena laugh. He's like... What a melodious laugh. You want to go in there? We'd love to, if that's all right. He stands up. He walks over the door, unlocks it, sits back down, starts eating his ribs, but he's looking at you like

you're going to fuck this up real bad. Enjoy your ribs, my new friend. Yes, exactly. We'll see you on the way out. He snorts. Just goes back to his food. Mr. Evelyn, maybe you want to ask him if he can tell us what's coming up?

Perhaps he sees some murder down the hallway. My friend. Are there any... Sorry, I just let the bloody meat in my mouth. Please, no apologies necessary. A hearty gentleman who enjoys his meal. Let me ask you, can you by any chance tell us, is there anything we need to be worried about?

Yeah, you're going to die for sure. That's why I laid you in there. There's demons in there. They're watching over this magical thing. I'm waiting for my boss to show up. He's going to come get it. It's been a few days, but he'll show up soon. Demons, how many?

Bunch of them. There's like this weird room where bad stuff happens. I can't get past there myself. But if you get past that room, I think there's more demons. My friends went in there and they got all eaten up. Oh, I'm so sorry. No, it's okay. Here they are.

It still tastes good. I see. I see. I see. Well, thank you. You're welcome! And again, I bid you hearty eating. I bid you a good dying. Okay, okay.

Who's his boss? His characters are a lot of fun. Do you want to ask him? I whisper to Mr. Evelyn to ask who's his boss oh one more thing, I'm so sorry one more thing you mentioned your boss earlier and who might that be?

who could possibly be your boss? you should be the one in charge oh 20 natural 20 he tells you his boss Oh, 20. 20 natural. Whoa. Natural 20. It's very good. He tells you his boss is a knight. He doesn't know his name, but there is a dark flame. Gale Gordon.

A dark flame that burns inside his helmet. He carries it. You see this through the eye holes? Huh? You see it through the eye holes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and he yeah. And he gets paid very well for

bringing him magical artifacts. Like a pilot light? Yeah, kind of like he describes like a black and blue kind of pilot light burning inside this guy's helmet. Perhaps it could be blown out. Alright, that's good to know. Well, thank you very much. And

once again, let's get that compliment. Good eating to you. He just shoves the more like he swallows a bone. It gets stuck in his throat for a second, but he's just laughing because of how pleased he is with all this good natured conversation. So it's like he's gagging, but like happily. And then he like punches his throat and breaks the bone up a bit. And kind of like, wow. That was close. We're going to have to take him to the vet.

Who said that? Oh, shit. You're invisible. The door is unlocked. All right. Shall we? Mr. Evelyn, that was great. Well, thank you very much.

We were going to have to kill that guy, but now not at all. He's your bestie. Yeah, we probably should have killed him. Now that I think about it. No, I think this was... Should I kill him? I'm invisible. No, no, no.

I don't want to kill anyone if we don't have to. That's just my personal credo. Especially if there's a demon around the corner. Like, why make a lot of racket? Yeah, that's a good point. Are there any other doors around, or is that it? There are two swinging wood doors. One of them has a lock okay agreement

goes inside all right so agreement chart is in there there's a short hallway and then a chamber up ahead um about 20 feet down the hallway uh there are stone uh walls ceiling but it's high you can tell they could have gotten horses in and out of this gate pretty easily um and the the gate ahead uh into the bigger room uh there's a large skeleton with a a sort of serpentine skull on top of it over the next door you don't see any beings at the real skeleton or a fake or an artistic skeleton looks like it could be a real old skeleton could we investigate investigate, like, Arcana check? Well, you're all going to move inside this door, right? So, like, it depends how close you want to get to this room.

When you say it, it makes me think I don't want to do that. I want to go up and put my lips on it. Conveniently enough for your dungeon master, the room is about this big. He said there was a room where bad things happen, was really what he said, right? Correct. Maybe that's this room. Is that room? Should we go back and ask? a room where bad things happen was really what he said, right? Maybe that's this room. Should we go back and ask?

He made it seem like that would not be the first room that we encountered. Yeah, you're right. Hey, Blaine. Well, really, I'm waiting for you guys to decide what to do. Please, not me, if you have that idea. While Dan's going through his bag, we're brought to you by Dunkin' Donuts.

We get it right. Dunkin' Donuts. I'm going to flip this because I'm really waiting for you guys. You tell me what you want to do. You can sneak up. You can get closer for a better view. Should we throw something into the room and see if it... Let's light some torches. You know what I mean? Like throw like a...

Like a lit torch? Yeah, not like a person... Let's light some torches. You know what I mean? Like throw like a... Like a lit torch? Yeah. Not like a person. Let's throw like a thing into there. A rock. Like a rock. Okay. He knows what I'm talking about. I imagine it's all very dark in here or no? It is dark. Are we in the hallway? Is that what you're saying?

Yeah. There are two torches on either side of this door. I think I have a door I can put there too. There's also a thermostat. Didn't you cast a dark vision on Mr. Avalon? Can Mr. Avalon get a better peep in there because of his new magic dark vision? Possibly. Would you like to take a peek, Mr. Avalon?

Yeah, I would. Roll a perception check? I would. This door will not stay shut. Do I get to go again or no? I'm afraid not. Six. You can see farther, but yeah. Hey, how far up is the ceiling

did you say? It is about 25-30 feet high. I also have dark vision. Can I take a peek into the camera? Where did that go? take a peek into the cabin. All right. Where did that go? Oh. Oh.

22. Okay, so Bodhi, you get right up here. And without getting in the room, you can see there is a lot of dried blood and viscera on the floor. At least it's dry. It looks like the door that I, the mini version of,

I cannot for the life of me get to stay closed. I've been fumbling with it. Well, I won't. You're going to have to call the landlord. I know, right? Just leave it. No, don't you like seeing me do this? It's like there's a ghost trying to get

in that gate. Oh no, a ghost. It is clearly a door. Damn it. I know, now Brian can't get it to close. They're going to make me sing Doors Unlimited again. You got any gum? Will you please sing Doors Unlimited? No. But here's the thing oh yeah paul you probably

i'll sing it's from the will you hate me if i sing it sarah because here it comes i won't hate you no sarah's saying this in an episode and then it's a commercial yeah doors unlimited unlimited doors yeah i did not put my full abilities into the singing. No, but I do remember that song. It won't shut. Anyway, it clearly is a door, Bodhi. It clearly should open like that, but it is shut fast. And you do notice there is a lot of blood and viscera on the ground right in front of the door. And over this door, there is a large, a little bigger than your head.

Here, I'm going to do this. It's fine. We don't need to. Yeah. That looks so much more awkward, but okay. It does. Shove it under the thing. This is a comedy podcast, so awkward as gold, baby. There's a big serpent skull with fangs over here

and then ribs going down either side. The fangs didn't help him out much. So you have to go under the serpent skull to getangs over here and then ribs going down either side. So you have to go under the serpent skull to get to the door. Otherwise quiet. There's a torch here and a torch here. Are we going to throw something there? That was our first thing, right? That's not a bad idea. Thank you.

Let's see if there's a trap. Is there like a stone or something around that I can just toss? There's like small pebbles. Can I go back and grab one of the lesser eaten ribs? You can try, sure. Yeah, let's go back and grab one of those little hunks.

All right, so you head back out. You're going to take that guy's food? Mention my name. I have a torch. Yeah, we're going to toss a torch. Toss a torch in there. All right, you toss a torch. Trying to get it right in there.

In the center, yeah. Why don't you roll an athletics Trying to get it right in there? Center. Why don't you roll an athletics check to get it right in that viscera area? 13. Alright, so it kind of lands in front of the skull and nothing happens. It sits like about five feet in front, like right here. Okay.

I have a thing called Eyes of the Grave. As an action, if I do this, I can know the location of any undead within 60 feet that isn't behind total cover and isn't protected from divination magic. So I'd like to do that and just go undead.

As soon as you cast... Then see if you can find some restaurant. Eyes of the Grave. You notice a pale, unholy green smoke writhing around the ribs and the skull that's a monster it's a big monster okay and the skeleton the the sneaky thing above the he can see that there is an aura in the skeleton. So this, this guy might be one of these skeletons that it is.

It tries to kill you. Oh, it is. Okay. Let's just shoot that. Yeah. Let's get it. Get them from right here.

Shoot it. Who's going to shoot it. Um, I have a crossbow. I'll shoot it. Yeah. I also have a crossbow. I have a crossbow too.

Let's go one, two, three guys. And then all your crossbow at the same time. I'll shoot it. Yeah, I also have a crossbow. I have a crossbow too. Let's go one, two, three guys and then all shoot a crossbow at the same time. I like it. Like those guitar playing triplets. What? One of those sisters. Del Rubio's?

Yeah. The Del Rubio's. That's right. All right. Why don't all three of you roll to attack and whoever gets the highest number it'll land first.

Everybody with a crossbow. We're trying to land them at the same time. That's awesome. Yeah, it is awesome you know what just for the fuck of it why don't you all all everybody with uh crossbow why don't you roll let's do a what is a good stat for this hmm to try to land at the exact same time. Athletics. Yeah, let's do an athletics check. If everybody can get above a 10,

it'll basically land at the exact same time as everybody else. All right. I had 19. Wait, I got plus 4 or no? Yeah, plus 2 to athletics. Oh yeah, so I got a 10. And I'm coming in hot

with a five. All right. So you three, all at the exact time, let your crossbow fly, and then Verdon filled. Oh, now? Oh.

Great. Everybody roll to attack. I already rolled to attack, can I count my Yes you may 17 What is that 23 That's a hit, Sarah

That's a hit, Verdon 3 I'm sorry, 7 You hit the wall nice I hit it really hard his crossbow isn't on his sheet is it a light crossbow

it would be a light crossbow because he's a bard he wouldn't have a heavy weapon under weapons it just says crossbow it's fine it's just not equipped Chris has got you for the numbers it's your dexterity plus your proficiency so whatever your plus

for dexterity my porn name that wouldn't be a very good yeah plus two to dexterity okay he's telling you so plus two so roll the 20 side

and that's what we want to what's your proficiency I don't think he's proficient I'm not seeing the word proficiency oh you're not okay so it's just plus two then. So roll this.

Fifteen. Great, that's also a hit. Everybody who hit a fifteen or above, you are going to land on the skull. Roll your damage, please. Chris, help him out. Sorry, damage would be a d8 and then you would add your dexterity

modifier so you said your dexterity is plus 2 so you would roll a d8 and add 2 to that so mine's 7 damage mine's 3 and then I add what to it add 2 so 5 I got 2 alright

so you guys all wait I get to add 1d6 I got two. All right. So you guys all... Wait, I get to add 1d6. That's right. I'm adding, so it's nine actually total. So Ken misses. Verdenfels got a little goofy pause before he gets his crossbow bolt locked. But the three of you guys all land a bolt

right into the center of this thing's skull and you hear a loud crack. Suddenly, the ribs kind of close together and shut in front of the door, and a spine extends from the bottom of the skull to connect them, and a large

serpent skeleton starts charging towards everyone. Please roll your initiative. Roll. 20. I have a feeling Shoeva Crossbows was going to do something. Paul, you have a plus 4 to initiative.

Okay, so I got an 18. Plus 20. So that's 20. Here comes this guy. Yikes. Oh no, he looks like a snake. Like a skeleton snake I got a 21

I got an 8 There is a skeleton guarding the treasure It looks like one of them human millipedes What did you get? 13 Paul, what did you get? I got a 20, right? I think 22

Heavens to Betsy, Grima, what did you get? An 8 Bodhi, what did you get?. Grima, what'd you get? An 8. Bodhi, what'd you get? 7. Blackie, what'd you get? What did I get? Nobody knows. 21. Awesome.

Verdunfell, what'd you get? 11. Great. This is a Bone Naga. No. It's a snake with a human skull. I don't like the sound of that evil monster. He rolled an 11 for his initiative. Bone naga.

So. Did you paint this one or did it come painted? That came painted. I don't like that name at all. Bone naga. There will not be any Dan. I genuinely thought you were trying to eat that. A Naga is a,

uh, is a snake woman, a magical evil snake woman. And a bone Naga is an undead version of that. Oh, it makes it slightly less bad. And it's covered in Naga. I look,

Blaine has read the entire monster manual. Like he's like several editions of it. I love it. He will be able to pull that sometimes. Uh, I have wonderful news. Oh. Mr. Evelyn, you are up first in the turn order.

This is where you are currently positioned. You're kind of like in the middle of the party. That's me. There is a skeletal serpent that is taller than any of you charging in your direction. What would you like to do? Well, I don't know that talking is going to do any good here. And

he's a pretty big guy. Should I try some magic shit? Yeah. Hell yeah. Would you like me to help review what you've got available to you right now? Yes, please. Thank you. I would love to. Here we go.

You put my watch in a handkerchief and smash it up with a hammer. That's right. Now, you have some support spells like dancing lights you can use to distract people. You've got detect magic. In this particular case, you could try blindness or deafness you could try vicious mockery which is pretty fun that one's a lot of fun now

would you like me to go over what vicious mockery is since that seemed to it's kind of whenever you get a heckler that's not very smart that's what vicious mockery is what you do to them right so it is a fantastic spell I think it's bard specific too. I played it in

Force Grey when I was a bard. It was fucking a lot of fun. In Zork there was a cruel puppet that would taunt you. A cruel puppet? Yeah, he was like a ventriloquist dummy? Yeah, he was like on the street. You would lose hit points from him taunting you, as I recall.

Was there anyone that would say like, oh, be nice. Stop talking that way. He's a cruel puppet. No, of course, the puppet's cruel. He was scary. So now, will Vicious Mockery work on a thing like this that barely has a brain? Well, let me go over it and maybe you can decide for yourself. I'm sorry I jumped ahead.

No, that's okay. This is something that Mr. Evelyn is already familiar with, but Paul the Player might want to acquaint himself. Exactly right. Vicious Mockery, you unleash a string of insults laced with subtle enchantments at a creature that you can see within range. If the target can hear you,

though it need not understand you, it must succeed a wisdom saving throw or take 1d4 psychic damage and have disadvantage on its next attack roll before it makes it at the end of its next turn. So like, not only will it take some psychic

damage, just a little bit really, it will be so distracted by the insult that it will have a harder time, like say, biting everybody else. Would you like to give it a shot? It's very vain. Mock that bone snake. Yeah, I'm going to mock your bone snake. Mock that bone snake is my favorite Clash song.

Yeah, thank you. So what you're going to do is wait for him to make his saving throw. And then if he fails, you may affect him with the song of your choice. Fair enough. Rich. Ooh. You rolled a 19 on his saving throw. What's your spell save DC?

I bet it's a little lower than that. It is 15. Okay. So he's going to shake this one off, Paul. I'm sorry to say. But I got to do it anyway. Would you like to? Would you like to sing your vicious mockery song?

Sure. Okay. I mean, I came all this way. To the bone snake. I've got up my tambourine. Let's go. Okay, you want to jam? Oh, no.

I want you to. How does this song go? A snake, a snake, you stepped on a rake. Why don't you go and jump in a lake? He does not jump in a lake. Well, no, I blackie green. You're up. Oh, I'm going to cast fly myself.

I'm remaining invisible, and I'm going to fly above the thing, and you're going to kind of like pause. Yeah, I guess that's my my action, right? Yeah, and that's you, right? Yes, this is me but you position yourself a little bit see me i'm invisible though i'll be i'll be floating over like this but i'm invisible whoa do we know don't look up he would have told you i think because he went invisible a while ago be visible you would have seen him go invisible while you were approaching the gate and the null

got it i'll just hang out here by this gate and stay closed. Chet, you're up. Oh, I will cast Create Bonfire. What? I don't know this. Would you like to describe it to us? Yes. Like a beach bonfire?

You create a bonfire on the ground that you can see within range. Until the spell ends, the magic bonfire fills a five-foot cube. Any creature in the bonfire space when you cast a spell must succeed on a dexterity throw, saving throw, or take 3d8 fire damage. Creature must also make the saving throw when it moves into the bonfire space for the first time on a turn

or ends its turn there. Alright, he's going to make a dexterity saving throw. Void in Alaska and Hawaii. Melanie made fun of the towers too when she first saw them. No, I didn't know what they were. I was asking Off-Mac. I was asking what the towers were. 19.

They don't really help. No, but it's fine. So you create the fire. Yes. And he just sort of slithers around it. Well, maybe he'll cross into it later. That's the spirit. This is a tough guy.

Yep. A little bit. You did get some arrows in up top, though. Here he comes uh he doesn't like the looks of bode so he is going to run this way uh however as he does that black green you were floating above his head if you would like you may take a melee attack against him for free however you will no longer be invisible uh i'm gonna hit it with a lightning bolt oh uh you hmm let me double check you can do that. I

Don't know if you get an action so much as it's like a reaction so you can do like a physical attack I have to go this go attack. I think so. I'm gonna check listeners who are super nerdy already know I Don't can I use a spell to make an opportunity attack someone asked read it one time Someone asked Reddit one time. No, you need a thing called Warcaster, it sounds like. Yeah, that's not standard. You can use your melee weapon to thwack him, though. Okay, so I can't do any spellcasting or anything.

It doesn't look like it. I'm not going to throw off the invisibility for that. Okay. In that case, he is going to attempt to bite Bodhi. Like a real romantic bite? You are horny. That's not me. That's Billy. Billy?

Who's Billy? Brian, what's that white dice say? Chris is expert. He rolled a one On an attack Paul Which means he has to roll a 100 sided dice Now to see how bad he screws himself up

A 100 sided dice That's impossible Two tens I'm not a monster Or four fives So he is going to take A 20 I gave you four fives

But I asked for It's only a He takes some damage as he slams his skull into the wall next to you Bodhi attempting to bite you in the face Up next is Verdunfell This creature's been injured right? Yeah

And he looks ridiculous. I, um, slam my cane against the ground and cast Toll of the Dead and a dolorous bell begins to ring throughout the corridor. And, uh, your snake friend has to make a wisdom saving throw and beat a 17. Otherwise, he takes 2d12 damage. Damn. He rolled a 21. What is up with this snake? He's not a nice snake.

Well, I flip him off and run away. Do you run? No. You thought about it. I'm at the back. I'm fine where I am. I don't think that's it. Yeah? That's me. I'm fine where I am. I don't think that's it. Yeah? That's me.

Tis you. I am going to swing my big sword at this guy. Why don't you bring your little player up? You going to sneak in front of Chet? Call her little. I meant because it's a mini, not because I am insulting her heritage. Can I just fight him? Yeah, you can totally just.

There we go. All right. Can I just like fight? Yeah, you can totally just. There we go. All right. 16. That's a hit.

Yeah. Okay, so that's eight. And I think I have. Hang on. Oh, yeah, I get one extra. So that's 11. Ooh. And then I'm going to go ahead and... That's going to, yeah, knock a little bit of his ribs off.

I'm going to attack him again. And this time I attacked him to the tune of 20. Not a natural. That is definitely a hit. And I'm going to do 11. Yeah, I call this adventure the ribs adventure. 16 points of damage on this guy. Whoa. How much?

16. Nice. My great sword. All right. I get one more attack. Yeah, and he's howling. I mean, you're fucking into him. You're killing him. Go jump in a lake, like the man said. That time I didn't hit him, though.

What did you roll? I rolled a 10 oh yeah that would unfortunately be a miss however he's looking bad he's he's starting to get a little yeah a little like bone dust is

flying off of him Bodhi you're up I'm gonna frenzy all right this guy's going nuts kind of pissed off have you ever seen Brian frenzy before, Paul? Not, I mean, in a game or in life?

In life. In life, yes. Yeah, a long time. What makes Brian Frenzy? I was real mad at Bill Odenkirk. It was a sight terrible to behold. No, I'm sure I spazzed out about something during Mr. Show. Which weapon are you attacking him with?

We all did. Yeah, we were kids. I remember you threw that car at that guy once. Halberd of the Dwarven Prince. Go for it. Do-da, do-da. It's actually fucking 25.

That's a hit. Roll your damage. Tower, don't lie. Yeah. Thank you. Did you drop your dice? Paul, can I say I love it when you do

the I know I know it series on Twitter. It's one of my favorite things. It's a problem that I have with my brain. Yeah, I have problems like that where it's like oh my brain automatically does this thing i can't stop i started making a list of them yeah things that your brain does that you can't stop 21 syllable collection all right yeah it is looking real bad it's looking real bad

cadence meter of three attacks uh it's a 26 on this next one. Nice. Oh, shit. 23 damage. Whoa. That's a lot of damage. How would you like to end this monster? Oh, sweet.

All right, sever his head. Sweet. I'm going to sever his head. Three weeks paid. Get out. Don't lose your head or do. Damn. He is toast.

That's cold-blooded, Jay. His bones skitter. Why am I falling? Because your dungeon master is a clumsy-ass nerd. And then, yep, his bones sweet-heat skitter. Who's that little guy? That's me. Oh. Hi.

Grima. Hi. Hi, Grima. Bodhi's voice is real exciting. Well, when he sees something little. It's like when you start talking in an accent. When I see a dog, my voice changes. Yeah, yeah.

Hi, dog. Or a little thing. A little adorable creature. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi, dog. Or a little thing, a little adorable thing. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wasn't insulting her. You shouldn't take it. Fight, fight. I'm trying to get him to fight you, and it's totally backfired.

Yeah, he is toast. The doorway makes a quiet little noise as he dies. Now it can open. Yeah. Yeah, finally the broke-ass door can go boom. I'm sorry. Poor Blackie Green.

Are you still floating invisibly in the air? I am. You can just sit him on the ground. Does he have a good view of the... I was getting ready to... He can't see him anyway. I can't pretend he's going to have like 400 hit points. Are you fucking kidding me?

He'll stay, right? Nope. Yep. The door sounds like it may have unlocked. Let's go through the door. Who wants to open it? I don't want to touch it, but we should.

Can we push it open with a thing? I'll use my quarterstaff. You have a cane. We also have the ribs of that creature. Why don't we just use its spine as a lever? That would honor the creature. To be of use. Use every part of the nut. Open the door he defended. Let's all hold him like a

battering ram. Let's pick up that snake like a battering ram and then just use its skull to open the door. Let's do it. We could all get under the ribs and we could pretend that we're like the ghost of a Chinese parade. Sure, let's play him like a xylophone while we're down there. Okay, do a performance check.

Playing him like a xylophone while we're down there. Okay. Do a performance check. Playing him like a xylophone? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Ten. It's not quite Under the Sea from The Little Mermaid, but it's close. Should I roll? Yes. Oh, he is the bard. Yeah, yeah. I mean... Roll your performance check. Play that Bonesnake.

Play us a song on the Bonesnake. Oh, dearake Play us a song On the Bonesnake Oh dear Play us a song On the Bonesnake Nine Is that what you got? Well his performance Is probably

He has a bonus right? He does Plus eleven Oh my god Dang That's a twenty If I'm not mistaken All the sea creatures

Come to life The fluke is The Duke of Soul tonight And yes You've managed To get a nice little tune Going on the Bonesnake xylophone.

That's right. That's right. What's wrong with you, Grima? He makes it look so easy. Well, I've had years of practice. You can't see me, but I'm sort of like nodding, thinking this is like Lionel Hampton. Who is saying that? Me, the invisible guy.

What would you guys like to do? We were using his head to poke open the door. What would you guys like to do? Use the ribs to... We were using his head to poke open the door. So you take his skull and you kind of... And it opens right up. Okay. Did anybody hear the music that will come and kill us? You see inside this next room...

That was maybe not the best idea. Like you got to have a good time because otherwise what's this worth? And we already made a bunch of noise. This room is a bit larger. It looks like horses were kept in this room and hardwood floors. Yes. Oh, nice.

Yes. Old hardwood, dusty hardwood floors. And we can deal with that. Sitting on the ground is a small winged demon. It's small. And he is tossing some horseshoes. And he looks over at you and he goes, oh, hi. Hello.

Hi. Hello there. Welcome. Oh, thank you very much. We are most welcome indeed. Oh, are you sent by the Dark Lord? Yes. And he says, you're doing a great job. Thank you. Well, don't thank me. Thank the Dark Lord. Oh, I will. All praise to the Dark Lord? Yes. And he says you're doing a great job. Thank you.

Well, don't thank me. Thank the Dark Lord. Oh, I will. All praise to the Dark Lord. Praise the Dark Lord. He's the best. So, um, you can go. You don't have to be here anymore. No, I bowed to this place. Sorry. What? Yeah. Well, do you want to be? No.

But if I'm gonna rank up, I gotta, you know, guard the territory. Well, that's just the thing. But if I'm going to rank up, I got to, you know, guard the territory. Well, that's just the thing. You've been promoted. All right. Well, let's hear it. Lay the dark curse upon me that will empower me to become a larger demon. You got it.

Let me just confer with everyone. We rehearsed it earlier, but I just want to. You're going to talk to your friends first? Yes, I just want to make sure we're going to do it all together. Oh! Yes. To really maximize the effectiveness. Do a deception check. You get a plus

11 to deception. Okay, so 17. You're a fantastic liar. Oh, you rolled low? Only we had an invisible thing that could... Still pretty good. He goes, alright, alright. Oh, you rolled low? Only we had an invisible thing that could be killed. Still pretty good. He goes, all right, all right. Yes, just one second. Okay, so this guy, he's expecting some sort of spell to give him a promotion so he's not bound here anymore. Don't you work, Verdon, don't you work with dark magic?

Yes, I do. But he's a devil right a demon I'm asking the yeah he's he you know what do an insight check you might know this you have that Autobahn book so 22 oh he drew every demon he saw

he's a lesser spined demon okay devil excuse me lesser spined demon Okay Devil, excuse me, lesser spined devil I more have domain over like undead And stuff like that, these guys are not undead Correct, he is a fiend Right, okay Sure is

I mean, he's basically a hell monster Can we just cast a damaging spell on him? Oh yeah, oh I think we should With that insight roll, too, you know you guys could easily take this one guy. Whatever we have that's the most powerful thing, we should have him like, here's your spell and fireball him or whatever.

I have a lightning bolt. I think that's the... Okay. Okay. Who said that? Wait, should we ask him anything? Me, the invisible guy. Before we do anything, should we ask him anything? Me, the invisible guy. I'm over here.

Throw some paint on me. Before we do anything, should we ask him what he's guarding? Yeah, ask him. What is he guarding? Same deal. What's next? Yeah, so we're just about ready. What are you... We need a transition plan.

What are you guarding again? I just want to make sure we have the right guy. Oh, there's a portal over here that leads to the treasure. Leads to the treasure, yeah. Okay, so you are the right guy. Okay, that's... Yeah, I opened the portal. Right, right, right. Yes, of course. So we are in the right place.s to the treasure, yeah. Right, okay, so you are the right guy. Yeah, I opened the portal. Right, right, right.

Yes, of course. So we are in the right place. So we're just about ready. Here's what I'm going to ask you to do. Could you close your eyes? Just close your eyes. To make the spell work. Are you going to kiss me?

Mr. Evelyn, before we start, did he say he has to open the portal? Let's make sure it works before we do this. Oh yeah, I'm this. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. One more thing. Did you say you are the one who opens the portal or you're just guarding the portal? Both.

Well, this is a problem. If we promote you and you're not here by the portal anymore, does that mean we won't be able to open it? That's true. Okay. Unless you bind yourself to this place and become a demon. Right, right, right, right. I got you. here by the portal anymore does that mean we won't be able to open it that's true okay unless you bind yourself to this place and become a demon right all right i got you i tell you what just to make sure our devil excuse me i get the two confused all the time it's a modern world i mean we you know things are changing all the time not what i meant but all right how about how about this

just to make sure we know everything works because how long has it been since you've opened the portal two days a lot can happen in two days could you just open it real quick just so we can make sure that everything's ship shape do a perception check or a persuasion check the other p word there's only two uh you do have a plus seven to persuasion well that brings me up to nine he kind of like purses his lips and goes that seems like a tall order i'm uh usually given you know some demon ichor to cast a spell. I've only got a little bit here. If I use it

all right now, I can't let the boss man through. So you don't want the promotion? I don't think you're in charge of the promotion, buddy. Can one of us try to help? Intimidation check? You haven't tried intimidating him yet. You've got one shot

someone's got to lead it and uh because you're in a group i will allow a uh if you want to lead the intimidation someone to give you advantage okay so i'm going to step up with bodhi while he threatens it's not me i'm sorry okay so uh you're just you don't get to roll two, Sarah. You can have your sword drawn or something. Oh. 18. Did you roll twice? No. Roll a second time to see if you get even better. 20. Natural. What's your intimidation bonus?

I thought it was 42. It's pretty high. Three? So you fucking natural. So you... Fucking natural. All right, so you and Grima go up, and he drops the horseshoe. He goes, all right, man.

All right. I'll open the portal, but I don't know if you guys are going to have a great time on the other side of it. So if you're going to be... Don't worry about it. You're going to be dicks about it. That's all I'm saying.

Now, why are we not going to have such a great time? Well, you can't just take the treasure out of there. Excuse me. Treasure. I never said we were going to take the treasure out of there. We just wanted the portal open, that's all. Well, at least you're being honest

and you only want to open the portal so you can look at stuff. That's all we want to do. Could you just give us a little idea of what's going to be inside there? Yes. There's going to be some demons. This portal will, it opens this very sensitive area, magically speaking, and it'll take you to a place in the nine hells, and there'll be some devils or demons and stuff.

But it's anchored here so if you go through this portal you can get this very special treasure okay thank you you're welcome and he walks over to this little uh chalk circle that's behind where he was sitting in the ground um and he uh splashes a few spell components on it and a big purple portal suddenly yanks open on the floor and that is where we will end this first of the two bonus episodes. Purple stuff. It's not one of those big flying purple portal eaters, is it? Nope.

Hey, Sam. Sorry, I thought of that when I was working in a lab late one night. Sam, what do you think happened on this episode? I'd be happy to explain what happened on this episode. Uh, it's very funny to me that this group would eat pounds of hot Skittles, but laughs at the idea of eating the insides of a stretch Armstrong. Paul has a magic hat. There's a big snake bone head.

Uh, the Del Rubio triplets were a trio of performers. They're all dead. Uh, we're all shooting crossbows and there's a spooky skeleton. You can literally attack somebody in this game by making fun of them in a song. Every time I feel I understand this game, I don't. Brian killed a snake

and then we opened a door. A lot of this game is doors and there's a demon doorman. Thank you. Here we go. I've got the, I've already plugged this on like the last few episodes.

I've got the Dan Telfer and Friends shows Mercury Lounge in Santa Barbara On October 18th and then Laugh Seattle October 24th and Curious Comedy Theater in Portland October 26th BrianPassine.com for my dates Anybody else? Paul yeah what you want to plug?

PaulFTomkins.com slash live for all my live dates Comedy Bang Bang on tour on the West Coast in October and the East Coast in November. And also, I have a new podcast with the great Nicole Parker called The Neighborhood Listen that's on Stitcher Premium where we take actual posts from next door and we use them for improv. Awesome.

That's great. Such a great premise. Thanks, everybody. I love you. Do you got anything going? You look like you have something. Oh, no. I'm going to be on a love boat this Saturday.

So now. Yeah. Me and Lauren Tweese gets into some trouble. It's pretty funny. I can't. I've already said too much. Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening to another episode of Nerd Poker.

You can follow us at patreon.com slash nerdpoker, and you get bonus episodes from there. And you can also send us anything at P.O. Box 16069, Encino, California, 91416. Thanks for listening. Hey, everybody. Hi, welcome. Oh, sorry.

I'm so sorry. Hey everybody. Hi there. Is this, am I doing it again? I'm very sorry. Please.