New Heights with Jason and Travis Kelce - Kylie Kelce on Kid Meltdowns, Dude Gift Advice, Japanese Maples & New Heights Secret Santa | EP 172

Episode Date: December 24, 2025

92%ers, welcome to another episode of New Heights brought to you by Nike. Today, we are joined by the only 4x guest in the history of New Heights, Kylie Kelce! For our holiday spectacular episode, the New Heights team exchanges their Secret Santa gifts, Kylie joins us to recap what she’s been up to since being dethroned as our most viewed episode, we react to some 92%er child meltdowns, give out our official shopping guide for “Dudes Who Can’t Shop Good,” give Kylie a special gift from us, and open some incredible gifts sent in from the 92%ers. Watch and listen to new episodes of New Heights every Wednesday during the NFL season and follow us on Social Media for all the best moments from the show: https://lnk.to/newheightshowYou can also listen to new episodes ad-free on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. ...Download the full podcast here:Wondery: https://wondery.app.link/s9hHTgtXpMbApple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/new-heights/id1643745036Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/1y3SUbFMUSESC1N43tBleK?si=LsuQ4a5MRN6wGMcfVcuynwTake holiday gift giving to new heights at https://homage.com/newheights. Send something to the New Heights Mailbox. Don’t be weird though. C/O New Heights Productions135 E OLIVE AVE, BURBANK, CA 91502Support the show: NIKE: Check out @nikebasketball on Instagram tomorrow at 7am Pacific and get ready to joinin on their challenge from anywhere.RAISING CANE’S: Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers. One Love.NETFLIX: Watch NFL live on Netflix this Christmas Day! At 1PM ET, It’s Cowboys vs Commanders, then at 4:30 ET, tune-in for Lions vs Vikings.Cowboys vs. Commanders: https://www.netflix.com/title/82049017Lions vs. Vikings: https://www.netflix.com/title/82049018ALLSTATE: Checking first is smart. So, check https://Allstate.com first for a quote that could save you hundreds.DRAFTKINGS: Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using http://dkng.co/newheights or through promo code NEWHEIGHTS.Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. Help is available for problem gambling. Call [phone] or visit https://ccpg.org (CT). Must be 18+ years of age or older (19+ in NE, AL) (21+ in AZ, MA, VA). Void where prohibited. Valid only where Pick6 operates, see https://dkng.co/pick6states. Void in NY, ONT, and where prohibited. Eligibility restrictions apply. 1 per new DraftKings customer. $5+ first Pick Set to receive max. $50 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Picks that expire in 14 days (336 hours). Promotional offer is valid between1/25/2026 at 12:00 AM Eastern Time (ET) and ends 1/25/2026 at 11:59 PM ET (the “Promotional Period”). Terms: https://pick6.draftkings.com/promos Sponsored by DraftKings.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Should I rearrange the light so that one of these is actually hitting Kylie? Could be helpful. I actually prefer to be in the shadows. Yeah, Kylie with the dark sweater, just as like... It's bringing holiday vibes. When Kylie sits forward, I think actually finds her light, it's much better. Love actually not. That's what that movie should have been called.

Love actually not. Here we go. Starting off on the right foot. Welcome back to New Heights, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, a Wondry show brought to you by Nike. Hey. I'm not wearing Nike, but I got these sweet. Yeah, it's Sanders. Diamond Ters.

Those are dope. These are Nike. Pretty sweet. We're your host. I'm Travis Cousin. My big brother, Jason Kelsey, out of Cleveland Heights, Ohio, as you guys know, Cincinnati Bearcat Alums. Subscribe on YouTube, laundry, plus wherever you get your podcast and follow the show on all social media at New Heights Show with one. on clips throughout the week. Jason, we have a very special, cheerful holidays exciting.

Why don't you tell everybody what we're doing? Yeah, sure. 90 percenters, we've got a very special holiday episode. Conley Kelsey is here. We talk for love for Japanese maples. We get her gift-giving advice and weigh in on some child meltdowns. And, of course, get a sneak peek of her and Jason Curley. Ooh, there we go. Which will be exciting. Kind of, yeah. She looks great. But first, for the holidays, we did something special as the team, and it's the first time ever. It's surprising. We're all pretty festive individuals.

We're very, we are. Yeah. But yeah, get ready for New Heights, Secret Santa. Secret Santa is brought to you by Raising Cains. Thank you very much, Todd Graves and Raising Cains for sponsoring a segment that we give each other gifts. You guys are the best.

And with that, interned Brandon, just shake, please come on in. All right. Let's go. Hello. Happy holiday. Oh, nice. Let's get lit.

Let's get lit. Let's get lit. Jake, just curious. Is there a secret Santa? Is that prevalent in the Jewish community? Or is this something that is not common? I think so. Yeah.

Like a secret Maccabee type of thing. Is there a Hebrew version of Secret Santa? The hidden Hebrew. It's, yeah, the hidden Hebrew. That works. If there's not, we just started it. I think we might have just started the hidden Hebrew.

All right. So we each gave each other gifts. There was a randomized, controlled, uh, determining of who was giving. We were all told who had each other. Yeah.

Yes. There was a spending limit of $50. Yes. That was the limit. I thought it was 25. Somebody's going to be very disappointed. We were given an order in which to open. I was told to go first.

I want to make it clear. I did not pick myself to go first. It sounds like you picked yourself to go first. I did not know. Get it over with. We know you're excited. We know you're excited. This is what I have.

This is what showed up. Let's do a little for the audio listeners. A little. All right. Good job. Amazon's loving this. We should have delivered gifts We should have done this in a Raising Keynes box.

Exactly. Sorry, Todd. We didn't think. Thank you for responding. Sorry, Todd. Okay, I have a cube. I have a cube. I wouldn't shake it too hard.

I wouldn't shake it too hard. Hold, yeah. Oh, I got a little cup. I got a little cup. So for the audio says it says it's a little coffee cup. It says other an intern. and it's a, I believe, a horse farting, and then it says me,

and it's a little unicorn on it. That is a beautiful gift. This is a very nice gift. A very specific intern cup. This, God damn, who, I don't know who did this. Oh, man. This is a, this is a Jason? Is it a Jason?

It is a Jason. Yeah. We did a great job of finagling This is a great, this is a great This is adding to my mug shelf. Yes, thank you. Thank you, Jason. It's a lovely gap.

You are a unicorn, Brandon. Good start. Thank you. Good start, Secret Santa. Jason, you are next. I am up next. All right, this is the box. Nice.

Jesus. This guy's on visual. Put a lot of bubble wrap in there. okay I feel like it is it's going to be a book oh I couldn't see it being Legos Legos are always a banger nice this is gonna come in handy what we got so we have golf balls which ironically are in a blue package for those of you who are aware of the blue man group bet that we have in Tahoe this upcoming year it also says my custom golf also I have a feeling that these balls are going to have

something on them custom balls hey who doesn't love some custom balls yep what's on there's a blue man Travis Kelsey it's really hard to see you're going to back it out a little bit

just a little bit back out just a little bit I can't wait to fucking crush these things actually it's a blue man Travis and a Blue Man Jason. Oh, wow, you got double. You got both. That's pretty goddamn good. No, they're good.

That's really funny. These are awesome. That's really horrific, too. Oh, man, who made these? I feel like it had to be Jake because there had to be some type of like social media, Blue Man Group expertise. It was me. It was me.

Thank you. Shout out to our graphics department. They were very helpful. Department. Department. The two people that I went to for Photoshop help. So I'll say two things about your gift. One, I figured you could use a reminder while you were practicing for Tahoe.

The other thing, and I do need Brandon's help here. So this is only part of your gift. Like we mentioned, we had a limit. And so, you know, I was kind of struggling to think of like two guys who could have anything they want in the world. What is one thing that I could get them as a gift? And then I remembered I lost something of yours. So on the way is a, Brandon, if you would pull up the picture, it's a replica Super Bowl ring.

I have felt terrible for the last four years that I lost your ring in Skyline Chili. It may or may not be currently stuck in customs. I can't believe you really lost. You lost your fucking Super Bowl room, dude. We went back and reviewed the footage, and it is 100% my fault. He said, Jake, go get it. And I just didn't hear it. So I have felt terrible, so a replacement is also on the way.

Merry Christmas. Thank you very much, Jake. This is, I can't wait to get this and actually see what this looks like because this is going to be great, too. That cannot have fallen within the $50. That's the thing. This is why it was not. not a realistic ring. I'll put it that way.

We had $50 to spend. I went right up to that limit, but I swear I did not go over it. Wondering what the craftsmanship on this ring is going to be like when we eventually. So the rings, the rings plus these golf balls are both under $50. Correct. Yeah.

I think it was. Wow. And the golf balls were more expensive. I don't wait to see what this looks like. Good luck with that. I'm pretty sure it says foals on the side of it. So you'll have. not bad.

You love that as well. That's what I prefer. All right. My turn. I have a box. We've got something wrapped. Ooh. Ooh.

That was a good collective. Ooh. Oh. We got a box. This thing could not be more wrapped. You're working for us. Please do not cut yourself. They came really close.

All right. We got some. It looks like a No fucking way It's a jet Super Bowl ring The irony That is fucking awesome

That's really funny No irony Oh my god That's fucking great Oh this is sick You ever seen one of those before? No I have not Look at that

This is fucking awesome done i i'm going to assume this came from travis the old joe namus super bowl ring man this is how about it man thank you thank you this is and the unfortunately the joan name it goes uh for fifty dollars and the nick foles goes for uh i believe having these are significantly more rare the eagles have at least twice as many super bowl rings as the jett so we'll take i thought it would actually come with the fur coat i thought it came with the fur coat that that's next year that's next year that's next yeah

there you just slowly turn Jake into Joe Namath he gets the sideburns of your ass he gets the mutton chops all right Travis you were the last man saying thank you Travis that was awesome oh yeah baby

all right welcome to get in Hebrew alright here we go a Kansas city book of some sort zip this thing open and see what we got here. You know it.

A fuck ton of player cards. Let's go. Here we go. And two of my favorites sitting right there in the front, baby. Let's go. James. Brandon, you got a fucking card? I didn't know that.

That came from a 92%er in Kansas City. She gave us a bunch of like our own custom cards. So yeah, you got you got a Borders rookie card in there, brother. borders there's also a wait go to the jason card there's a jason card i got you there's right in the beginning i got you a jason draft diamond card now that is the closest thing you can find to a jason kelsey rookie card this guy right here that right there that is jason as a rookie but they made this in 23 i believe it was minted so got you some jason it's you as a rookie but they didn't make you an official rookie card they made you like a later oh shit he turned out really good

I actually have, I think I do have an official rookie card, but it's not from when I was a rookie. Okay. Every, every player's like first card is technically the rookie card, but I think it's from like 2018. Yes. When I, when I asked the guy at the card store, I was like, do you have Jason Kelsey rookies? He just looked at me like, what the fuck are you talking about? So that is, that's a picture of you as a rookie, but on a card made in like 20, 24. I went to my local card store.

They just have these giant bins of football cards. So I went through a couple years and I made. you a pack of like a bunch of chiefs and some friends of the show oh nice so they are they also like only cost oh nice each so like i spent like two hours digging through cards just fine and dudes it is really fun to do are you kidding me that sounds like a blast that would be pretty dope to have cards from everybody who's been on the show unstoppable chris stone cold jones i found some good ones i found some there's a couple like really weird rare ones in there that i was really excited to pull She'd even partner with, like, the artist that, like, make player cards to, like, make

ones for the other ones to come on the show, boys. Show them up, show them, Travis, show them, show them, show them, show them. Show them all of them. Just, just me out. I'll throw, uh, you got a good old cheetah right there. That thing's sweet. Good cheetah. I remember that play.

I remember that play against Tennessee, one of the coldest games ever. Oh, nice, man. It's J-MAC, baby. Jeremy Maclin. Got a J-M-M-A. Oh, about it, man. Yeah. Eagle and Chief.

M-Z. Old Lenny Dawson, R-R-I-P to the legend, man. Oh, that's awesome. Pumped to pull that one. Payton Hill is. Payton Hillis played for the Chiefs? Yeah, he did. I don't remember that.

I appreciate it was right after the Cleveland. I think he was right before you got there, but he was pretty sweet card, so I figured out. 2011, yeah. Yeah. Maden cover. God damn. Jamal Charles NFL.

My guy. Nice. Don Terry Paul. Rookie. card. That's a rookie Don't. Those are rare. Those are rare.

They don't make that many of those. It's one of the only defensive players to run, catch, and throw a touchdown pass in the NFL. And I think he's like the heaviest to ever throw a touchdown pass. That's a great stat. Shady. Yeah. Here we go. Shady.

I had to especially ask the guys at the store like, where are the Jason Kelsey cards? And they're like, oh, we keep those in the back. And I'm not, no, I'm not kidding. You weren't, Jason, no, you weren't in the bend. I dug through your rookie year. I dug through Super Bowl, after Super Bowl, you're thinking, like, there'd be a lot of eagles in there. Oh, we got to, there's no Jason.

You got to ask. You're behind the counter, brother. That's an honor. It's a prize possession. That's a prize possession. Friends of the show and just friends of friends of, friends of little Joe Thomas. We got some, uh, nice. Alejandroville and Oweva.

Let's go. Legend, that's a sweet card, too. All hands team? Oh, that's a sweet card. All hands team. Him catching a pass right there. Look at him. Dick Six, baby.

Oh, Greg Olson. We got to get him on. G. Greg. Yeah. Kiddy. Let's go, baby. And then Jules,

what looks like in the Super Bowl. It's a Super Bowl MVP card. How about that? Nice. That's sweet. Red gloves, baby. Swack them out. Digging through bins of football cards is very fun.

And then Zach Ertz, baby. Ertsy. Got you an Ertsy. And the gang green, man. Got all the tight ends. Let's go. And then old school colors, Matt Stafford and his. Maddie.

Wow. Classic. Dude, this is sweet, man. But yeah, that's a all in my book. All of my card book. That is your official. Your official sleeve it book. That's not official, actually.

It's a bootleg chief's card holder. I had to keep it under 50. So the official one was a little pricey. The boot bribes. leg one under 50. Thank you, dude. Fuck yeah. Happy holidays.

Happy holidays, guys. That was New Heights Secret Santa brought to you by Raising Cains. Thanks, guys. Happy holidays. Hey, let's wrap this out. We're waiting for Kylie. We're making a wait way, way too long.

Yeah. All right. Thank you to our presenting sponsor, Nike. Big day tomorrow, Trev. You ready? Oh, yeah. I'm always ready, baby. It's game day.

I'm game day ready, baby. Let's go. Yeah, game day. Well, there's Christmas. Well, yeah, but it's football on Christmas, which, yeah. And our friends at Nike basketball have something special coming tomorrow as well. A Christmas surprise, if you will. And it might feature a friend of the show.

What? How about that? We have so many friends of the show. I wonder which one it could be. Nike just getting started and the answer will be revealed on socials tomorrow. Oh, what the, you're not even going to tell me? That's how you do a tease, that's how you do a tease, trap. Well, check out Nike Basketball at Nike Basketball on Instagram tomorrow at 7 a.m. Pacific time

and get ready to join in on their new challenge from anywhere. Thank you to our partner, Raising Cains. Ooh, Raising Cains, huh? Yeah, baby. Who doesn't love some of that frowning? Chicken, that secret special sauce. Come on now. Some of that Texas toast over there, too.

We can't forget the toast, man. The toast is buttery and delicious. And you know we have to give a shout out to our guy the King's founder, Todd Graves. Shout out to Todd. Always looking out with the foundation and have you seen his Forbes cover? Todd is always involved in things, man.

This guy, this guy really, his give a shit meter is through the roof. I like it. It's through the roof, man. The guy's got a good heart. And he's got a good product. Shout out to Todd for leading such a great company who not only makes delicious food, but gives back to their employees and more importantly, their community. And we can't leave out my favorite Cain's order. That's right.

I mean, I'm going, the Cain's chicken, obviously. You can't go wrong with the chicken fingers and then the old Texas toast. Crinkle cut fries. I'm more of a fries in the secret sauce than I am, the chicken in the secret sauce. Don't judge me. I'll just dip my finger in it. Cain's lovers, raising Cades is closing all locations on Christmas Eve afternoon and Christmas Day, so their team can spend time with their loved ones.

But you can enjoy those delicious ching of fingers again, December 26th. Thank you to our partner, Netflix. Hey, oh, one of my favorites. Netflix is basically Santa, bringing us the NFL action this Christmas. First up, 1 p.m. Eastern, we've got an NFC East Showdown with the Cowboys versus the commanders. You already know they're going to be bringing that rival for some energy. Hey, yo. Then at 4.30 Eastern, it's the Lions taking on the Vikings, two teams battling it out for the NFC North supremacy. And they're going all out with Snoop Dog's holiday halftime party during the Vikings game live from U.S. Bank Stadium in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Hey, yo, so here's your Christmas Day game plan, open presents in the morning, get that holiday feast going, and then settle in with a little family for some NFL action, streaming live on Netflix. Don't miss Cowboys Commanders at 1 p.m. Eastern Lines, Vikings at 4.30 Eastern on Netflix. Our guest today for a very special Christmas episode, I guess she's already sitting right next to me, so you're probably already seeing her. She's the only four-time guests in the history of New Heights, very prestigious air. Previous record holder for the most viewed episode of all time, recently broken by just a little bit. She's the host of a iHearty's best emerging podcast in one of the Apple Pod's best new shows of 2020. He's also the number one fan

of Japanese maples both real and symbolic Anyway, Kyle and Kelsey's back to the show everyone Hey! What's up, Kai? Hi, how you doing?

Doing. You actually really do like Japanese maples. I think that's why I thought Japanese maple I'm pretty sure we have two in our backyard. We do have two in our backyards. What do you mean? You know what a Japanese maple is. You know we have two.

You're right. I'm their big. biggest fan. We have two in our backyard. I'll tell you what. The ones in your backyard are beautiful, aren't they? Especially in a fall. Great tree climbing. Great tree climbing. Great tree climbing trees. Yep. Yep. For this, for this bit, I don't think we can talk about how you climb the Japanese people in the backyard. All right. Guy, how you been? Congrats on everything. We're not going to lie. Thank you. They're crushing it. Thanks. You haven't fun. You having fun being a podcaster now?

Like you're in it. You're in it in it. I'm very lucky to get to speak to the people that I get to speak to. It's, yeah. It's very cool. And I'm very excited when I get to learn from them and ask questions that I've had for a long time. But other than that, I do feel bad that people are plagued with more of me. That sucks.

I don't think anybody's upset about that. I don't know. One person has upset about that. Who's your favorite guest you've had so far? Can't say me. Can't say, can't say me. Oh, that's exactly where I was going to go. Well, most surprising favorite?

I can't say you. No, can't see me. Because I was going to say that. I mean, I got to talk to Michelle Obama. That was, I think I'm still sweating slightly from that conversation. Nice. So we're not, we're not the only ones that do this, Jason. Nice.

Perfect. All right, cool. Cold sweats. I just got a chance to talk to Asia Wilson. and she was absolutely hilarious. And I was kind of trying to recruit her when the W comes to Philly in 2030. Where does she live? No, she's in Vegas right now.

Oh. So. The Aces. Yeah. Philly's fun. And I tried to tell her, Philly loves their teams and Philly's going to rally in a way that I think she would really enjoy.

So there's that. I also got to talk to Bindy Irwin. I don't want to minimize that. that was like a childhood dream come true really why is that wasn't a childhood dream country bindi wasn't even alive when you were a child i watched bindi with her dad on the crocodile and her when i used to watch animal planet after school how old is bendy or one not too terribly like not a whole lot younger than me really i'm okay i say that with the assumption that I'm still 24.

I was going to say she's 27, I believe. 27? Did you just Google that? Oh, Brandon wrote it in the rundown. Of course. That's only six years younger than me. Were you a big animal planet kid? Kyle's big.

Big into the animals. Huge. Big into the animals. Well, now we got to go down this. I was about to say we got out of the raven lover. I did just get to. Otters and orcas. Do you know I just got to visit the otters at the Philadelphia Zoo because they were like

Uncle Travel love this? And I was like, great, bring me in. They were so loud, Drav. Loud? Diffening. Were they like barking or how are they loud? Squeaking, squealing? I can see like a lot of scurrying.

It was like screaming bloody murder. It was crazy. Scream. That's a. It was a trait that we don't really like. It was loud. Don't love that. Calces are loud.

Kelsey's are loud. Yeah, we're loud. I was equipped. I was like, I could. be in here all day between my kids and my husband. I think I know your favorite animal. Do you think I can write down your favorite animal? And we could do it.

She talks about animals a lot. Just say it on three. I'm going to say it on three. One, two, three. Giraffes. Yeah. Oh, they are majestic. They are majestic.

I always say they're my people. Mm-hmm. Because we're both tall. They're tall. Oh, nice. Yeah. Travis is like, what the hell do you have in common with the giraffe? Weird.

I do love an orangutan. I love a gibbon. Gibbons, yeah, at the zoo. Gibbons are so funny. Gibbons are your favorite incarcerated animals. Come again? So what's a given? A gibbon is they sort of have their face framed with a different color,

and then they have really long arms, really long legs, and they swing. If you've ever seen it, there's a stuffy at the zoo that's cold. Gibbons are monkeys. Yes, that have their hands velcroed, and you can wear them as like a little necklace. Wow. And they swing around like goobers. Yeah, they would do really well. Like, if we should do a wild animal ninja warrior, Gibbons would perform extremely well.

They would crush it. Grips strength, outstanding. Yeah, for sure. I love them. So those are your land animals. What about sea animals? I love a shark. What is it about sharks? I hate them.

I'm so terrified. I actually, I just don't really have a problem. I just don't have beef with sharks the way you do. There's just something that terrifies me. I will say a sea turtle is majestic. Sea turtle. It is. A sea turtle is majestic.

And the fact that you're not allowed to touch him and I'm a real follower. Like an African tortoise? No, like a real, a whole. Well, have you seen a leatherback sea turtle? Those fuckers are huge. I don't know what I've seen. I just know I've seen a enormous turtle before. turtle.

A leather bag. A big old sea turtle. But the shell goes like up. It goes like up and around. Oh. And it's a leather back. It's a leather back. Those things are crazy.

They're massive. Yeah, they live to be like 100 years old too, right? Like 70 to 100. You're thinking of all those big turtles. They got long life spins. Unless you give them some type of like radiological sludge and they live in the sewer. Do you know I just got to meet, I got to meet newborn Galapagos tortoises? Oh, no.

Yeah. So what's, what's exciting about that? Their mom, 97 years old. Holy shit, is she still laying eggs? She just had them. They're her first clutch of eggs. Her name's mommy. If you live to 200, are newborns older?

Does that stretch? I'm sorry, what? Because it's not an old turtle. If it's like 100 and it lives to 200, it's middle aged. So does every other, like, is it? adolescent turtle instead of being like a 13-year-old adolescent turtles are 50s. So it was a newborn turtle instead of like a zero to one-year-old turtle.

Now we got like a zero to five-year-old turtles or newborn turtles. He's trying to, he's trying to turtle math right now. He's trying to turtle math. It's not going well. I was about to say, yeah. I think he was searching for it. Yeah. Okay.

I think they're still however long they've been on the earth. I think it's just cool because so mommy, the turtle that just, the tortoise that just had the She's been in Philadelphia since she was four years old. So she's been in Philly for 93 years, which is crazy. She's been in Philly for 93 years. 93 years, which means like when I was growing up, I saw her at the zoo. Yeah, well, it means when Lisa was growing up. Isn't that cool?

It like crosses generations. Has she been incarcerated the whole time? Yeah. What a... I'm just going to let him have it. What are we doing? How have you been dealing with being dealing with being? dethroned by Travis's better half.

Great. I'm always cheering on Taylor and everything that she does. So the fact that I finally got dethroned, it was welcome. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, nice. Taita. Shout out to Tay.

There we go. All right. Are you tired of being tagged in pictures of Japanese maples? Nah, fuck it. Literally. No, I'm kidding. Oh. What was on it?

How quick does this stupid shit we do? on this show, get back to you? Very fast. Every night on my doom scroll, I get it. The most recent was when, which I do want to set the record straight, you don't have to keep this in the show. When you said that you don't fight, you were joking, right? Like you were being sarcastic.

The giggle afterwards suggested that you were being sarcastic. What? Because I'm going to try to ask me about it on my rundown and I was just like, I'm pretty sure Trab was joking. fight wow fight who fight who do I fight arguing defensive players yeah oh defensive guys yeah I fight I'm a fighter in that sense of great perfect um yep continue me and tell you we definitely don't fight um we don't either I mean I can attest to it I've never seen it's not true that's fair um doesn't happen often no I think it's probably about standard well let's start a fight

How do you feel about Jason blaming the bird's losses this year on you, and you're not turning your back to watch the game? I'll take it. Honestly, he, that's so bad. I'll take it, though. All right. Yeah, I do feel responsible. There's only so much control you have, and it's what you can do.

Yeah, you got to control what you can control. To be fair, a couple weeks ago. That's how you can control. Yeah. I turned it around trying to get some chiefs. magic like we're we're trying to we're trying to spread the goodwill you know what do you think it is about turning around that shifts the tides it's um it's a it's a it's a selfless act it's a selfless act because it's like it's a sacrifice of your own fandom yes because i'm like i want to watch

this so badly so how can we up this sacrifice sounds like you guys got to black out the games that's another that's a big time sacrifice i was going like animal sacrifice That's all in my head. Ooh. What kind of animal would you? Why do you always take it one step too far? I'd be willing to sacrifice a cap. That was uncalled for, but hilarious.

What would be any... You got to go Joe Boo? You got to sacrifice some chickens. We'll start off with just a snake bug. Slid it right in half. Boom. No. We're not sacrificing anything.

You got to sacrifice a little. You got to sacrifice some. What's a, what's a suitable sacrifice to take the sacrifice up? Nice. Let's get out of this. Jason, you guys, oh, nice, you and Kylie both just went curling. What? We did.

We did. Yeah, with the South Dakota. Were you guys any good? Went back to old stomping grounds, huh? I bought it. Shout out to Gramps. Yeah. He was so excited to tell people when people, everyone there was so nice.

You know, this isn't my first time here. That's right. I used to frequent this neighborhood quite a thing. I'll tell you what. You get off that plane. You know what you don't remember? The spank. Pungent's.

Pungent aroma. Of what? I don't really know. Pork byproduct, I believe, was the answer. Yeah, apparently there's a, borg and byproduct? I've heard mixed reviews. What, they got a glizzy farm out there?

I think probably more than just glizzies. Yeah, they got some type of animal manufacturing facility. and then there was another one that somebody said it might be but apparently when the winds are just right it brings that right down into the city when the winds are just right I felt bad I got into our our very nice driver's car and I thought it was him I thought he just had like bad B.O I was like some weird thing happening it's like something is like rotting I don't know what there's like a sulfuric sense that's what it was that yes and then I got out of the car and it was just everywhere got to the hotel room for him to be like, that smell is still here.

And I was like, yeah, it's been with us since we landed. Is it me? Is it me? No, he straight up was like, for a second, I thought it was our driver. Anyway, so Sioux Falls was great. She falls was fantastic. Seufels was great. Curling was awesome. Yeah, tell me more about curling.

I want to know. I want to know. Was it easy? No. It's not easy. It's not easy. Do you have special shoes or did you guys just go? We, so, no.

There was one thing that I was actually very upset about with Kyle. You didn't have the right. You got to know the terrain. You got to have the equipment. You got to know the terrain. But shamefully, I asked Dale, I was like, so do you have, we have like shoes waiting of us, I'm assuming. And she's like, no, we just go in our tennis.

She's like, how are we going to, they're wearing like special, like cleats. You don't, I'm not going to play. One shoes got, yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, anyways, no, we did not have the proper footwear. Well, that definitely makes it harder. They have these, like, sliders, though. So you can do the start.

And then the ice, because it's pebbled, isn't really actually that slick. And some people don't wear the slider when they're doing the broom action sweeping. So it really wasn't as big of a hindrance as I thought it was going to be. This is kind of what I'm trying to say. Oh, all right. I do think it's easier with the shoes, but it's just it wasn't that imperative that we had the right footwear. So who won? So we didn't really do a full game.

No. All right. Who was better? I do think there is a chance that, oh, no. I do want to do a thing. Oh, let's go. Yeah. That's fucking technique right there.

It was good. There is a chance that I, this could be the thing. This could be the thing that gives me the upper hand. Get it going, Jason. Because it involves flexibility that someone does not have. I was in front of it. I was in front of it. Oh, no.

I think you were to the side of it. Well, you go to where it's going, so it was curling. So you got to sweep to, like, where it's going. There were a bunch of it. Oh, I thought you were, like, steering it. You actually can't do that. I'm not good enough to do that. Oh, right.

That's a relatively new development in the world of curling, apparently. So before, you would just try and sweep in front of it. Yeah. But now they found out that, like, if you put a certain spin on it, and you almost, like, sweep to, like, groove it in that area, you can influence it more. And that's kind of changed the sport. in some ways Tyler told me that what's what was Tyler's last name do you remember it was Sue Falls no we were with the we were with the uh the Olympic teams oh nice is the

the Olympic teams yes yes so that's what we were with what you have watched the brother sister combo that we were with yes nice it's usually brother sister or a husband wife if I'm not I do believe there is one pair one mixed double that is a husband and wife married nice yep so yeah we were Matt Hamilton was teaching us to sweep who was on team USA

um I still remember watching him and Becca in uh in 2018 yeah and then Tyler is like the main commentator for USA currently he does like he does all the Olympic car he's the color guy he knows what he's talking about nice very good

There's actually, that was one of the fun things. We got to watch a qualifier right in front of us. Nice. Stand next to him and talk to him the whole match. We were talking a lot of curling, strategy, hammer action, putting up, I forget the terms. It's not a block, but it's essentially a block. Fuck. I do know offensive strategy.

If you want to, if you got the lead, you want to keep the middle open. That's a concern. That's like a pretty like. conservative strategy you want to increase the difficulty and like make people go for shots and be aggressive yeah you try and keep the middle closed and generally if somebody has a hammer you want to close the middle so if you're throwing first that's why you'll see them throw up a block every once in a while to start off which is in between the uh the target area whatever that was called again and then like the line you want to be like six feet right in front of that it's all up here

and you can't knock out a block you can't knock out one of those those until the fifth shot has been thrown. Oh, see, I didn't know that. I was just like in my mind. Why don't you just continue knocking them out of there? Yeah. Just bully your way through there. No, that makes sense.

There you go. So, yeah. Had a blast. Kai, we did have a little competition. Kai once. Thank you. Thank you. Who was better?

Wait, we don't want to release this information because it is coming out on your channel. I want to have a legitimate match. though. They just kind of taught us the technique. We only did like a couple of three. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure if I would have gotten you. I would have a legit match. If I would have got

well, that's what I thought I was going for. I came away a little bit disappointed. She got closer to the bull's eye? I don't think so. I think his throw was better. I think they gave me a... You think? I think that I was given a consolation, almost like a participation trophy situation.

But I have full faith that because I am more flexible than him by leaps and bounce. I will say my knee was doing a full game. I don't know how I've been able to walk. And we did how many. We did like five, six throws? Yeah, maybe. You knew you were going curling and didn't bring a dichlofenac? That was him warming up.

Got to activate the glutes. Got to activate the glutes, kids. Got to get them glutes fire in. Look at this guy. Oh, my God. What a fucking guy. All right, we're going to start. All right, hold on real quick.

I get to go over here and warm up. That's exactly what happened. Oh, we're starting my bad. I'm not ready. God damn it. That's hilarious. No, I do want, Tram, we've talked about crow on a bunch. Everyone was talking about the facility that Jared Allen.

has down in Nashville yeah where it's like a recreational it's like almost like a bowling alley for like curling and he's big into the curling community and sport now I think it'd be a blast we found out while we were there that there's a curling club 20 minutes from our house I knew about it why didn't you tell me I was about to say it sounds like you're with a shorter commute than Sue falls yeah but no I'm in and I I may or may not I may not I may not I Dude, I really think, you give me like a couple more throws. I'm actually getting private lessons for growing. We can be being competitive of this and trav.

You give us a couple more throws. I mean, we're not like an Olympics, but I think I can, I can hold my own in the Philadelphia League. I feel very confident about that. You just, you just told everybody you don't know if you'd be able to do a full game. Yeah, but I mean, I think the more you do it, the better way. I figure it up. there you go well that's fun i've always wanted to do curling curling was always at uh the cleveland skating club yep yep did they have purple ice or they did it on regular ice no they had like curling

ice that's cool yep wait what there's different ice well that's what we were talking about it's pebbled and then there's like so regular ice is flat right it's just ice like a hockey ice curling is like purposely like they spray it with like a hose to give it these pebble texture and that helps control and the the rocks actually slide further with the pebbling it like doesn't it doesn't have as much friction to it and then the sweeping makes a bigger difference with the pebbles because then you're like slowly do that gesture so well the pebbles no the sweeping you're sweeping down here sweeping sweeping sweeping well that's fun you you went you went back

to beautiful Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Did you see Mount Rushmore while you were there? No. I forgot how far it is. It's a four-hour hike, West. We did look it up before we left. Yeah. Nice.

No, we did not go to Mount Rushmore. We just did the curling. You know, the old tale is there's a treasure somewhere around Mount Rushmore. Is that a national treasure reference? I was going to say, is that? Was Nicholas Cage looking for it? I'm trying to remember. Was Mount Rushmore in National Treasure?

I remember that. Yeah, it was. I think it was like the second one, maybe. I was going to say, I was going to say, definitely wasn't the first one. I think the first one was Philadelphia Declaration to Independence, wasn't it? Liberty Bell? The first one was independence. There was definitely Philadelphia references, but I don't, I think when he actually got into like that little area,

I don't think that was Philadelphia. I'm pretty sure he stole the Declaration of Independence, which is in Philadelphia. No, it's not. I'm with Jason on this one. I do believe it has since been signed and then taken to Washington. It's in D.C. I'm disappointed.

I'm pretty sure. I know the Independence Hall where they signed it is in Philly. Yeah, I'm aware of that. But I think where it's held is in D.C. There we go. constitution have actually sorry sorry just kidding we got the liberty bell though they let us keep that capital they let us keep the broken bell guys history was never my strong suit i don't claim history who knows if it's the truth or not you know i heard nicholas

cage still has the oj declaration of that would be pretty badass you still spray he's got lemon juice all God damn, that movie was so good. Wow. It was a... Why does the Declaration and a Pinnis smell like Lysol? It's got that. What's the woman that frigate did the Lysol commercials? Oh.

Pam? Pam. Wasn't it fan? I don't know. I've got to see like one of these old fucking Lysol commercials there. Who are you talking? I don't know. It was just, I don't know.

I'm getting the image of the Lysol commercial lady and the Declaration of Independence. I think it sounds funny. I don't know why. This is the next garage beer commercial. Yeah, this might be. Ooh. There we go. We're going to, we're going to put garage beer lime on the Declaration of Independence.

That's brilliant. That's brilliant. What does it decode? It shows us where the, uh, the nats, professional beer treasure is golden rye what do you make it with we golden wheat oh guys on to it a field of golden wheat talking about hops barley I don't fucking drink beer why the fuck would I know what it's made out of it's fair why am I getting these light I can't find this light salt commercial you've been

thinking of the pine saw lady this whole time pine saw thank you so much I've been sitting here just like biting my tongue for you to find it but it's the pine And it's not even lemon, is it? I'm sure they have a lemon. Lysol is what every NFL locker room has next to the can. Pine Sol. Oh, here he goes. I think we can just, I think we can let this one go until later.

Nope. All right. Can you, do you want to plug the curling episode? It comes out in February. I was told by Emma, if you want to plug that. Yeah, I'll plug whatever. around and tells me to do. So when does the curly episode come up?

The FAFO episode of us with the, we were curling at the U.S. Olympic trials comes out in February. Nice. In February. Just in time for the Winter Olympics. Ooh. It's a long time.

Mm-hmm. How timely. It's like Queen Emma lined that up on purpose. Nice. I think she did. Good job. Good job, Queen Emma. Well, I can't wait to see you guys on the ice.

Um, the last time I saw Kylie on the ice, it wasn't too smooth in Kansas City on skates. Weird. Weird? It's around this time of year. I thought we weren't going to bring that out. It wasn't pebble. I'll tell you what. You looked way, way smoother on the ice right there.

Let me be clear. It's pebble. Travis, you have, I don't know what it is, but whenever we try winter sports. sports. We're with you. You were with us when we were skiing in Aspen. We were together ice skating in Kansas City. Yep. None of which have gone in my favor. It's not, it hasn't gone in my favor whatsoever. It's not a, not a winter sports. My feet went out from under me like I stepped on a fucking banana. It was straight out of a fucking cartoon. It was straight out of a cartoon. My like, woo, right out from under me. It'll get you. Thank you. Thank you.

God, I was wearing like a full puffer coat. Mm-hmm. Gets a sleep. That's a very underrated thing that people don't. Ice is harder than concrete. It hurts. For those of you that don't know. Hurt your ego.

Hurt your ass. Hurt your bride. I mean, so we've got a lot already. Do we want to do, do we want to do kid fights? What is the kid fights thing? We had people send in the dumbest fights I've ever had with their child. I like that. I'm very in on.

I thought you were talking about children fighting children. I was going to say, Our children didn't. They don't really fistfight, but I will tell you when. Fight all the time. No, they like fight, but they don't get into like a full fist fight. And the best part was is that your mom came in. Yeah.

And she taught them how to, what is that called the leg thing? I have no idea what you're talking about. She had them lay down opposite each other. Oh, the leg wrestling, yeah. Ooh. Yeah. That's an old school move. I don't even know mom even taught us that.

Yeah, I vaguely remember that. Our dad used to actually sit us down in the living room and just have us wrestle. Yeah, which went great for me. Like rules. Like, we would have one person, okay, you're down this time. Your own all force. Your hands got to be here. Grab his elbow.

All right. Go. I got, it was the worst. I've been teaching Ellie the headbutt. As if the poor child needs any more head trauma. We just headbutt each other. Nice. Poor Ellie.

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Well, when your ears start to bleed, I have the perfect thing to keep you from rolling out of that moving vehicle. Something for the whole family! He's filled with laughs. He's filled with rage. G. Green Grump, give it up for me. James Austin Johnson as The Grinch. And like any insuffer influencer these days, I'm bringing my crew of lesser talented friends along for the ride with A-list guests like Gromk, Mark Hamill, and the Jonas Brothers, whoever they are. There's a little bit of something for everyone. Listen to Tis the Grinch holiday podcast wherever you get your

podcasts. All right, let's do some kid fights. The other week we talked about the great Disney World Waffle Fight of 2025 between me and Wyatt. Iconic. So we asked the night two receivers, please send in some of the dumbest fights you ever had with your kids. Kylie, as a mom, can you tell us how you would handle these situations? Okay. Perfect.

Here we go. Nice. From at, I can't read this guys, my. Trabb, you read it. Jay Richardson, New Heights. My six-year-old nephew had a meltdown because he insisted he could and should be able to drive the car. Well, funny story. Travis did drive a car at six years old, right through the back of our garage.

Wow. Wow. The story that I heard was that Travis is not fully to blame. Well, yeah. Who told you that? I heard there was some convincing. Convincing. Right?

That's not going to hold up in a court of law. Convincing. Oh, I wasn't going to shoot him in the head, but my friend told me it was a good idea. You were there. I was there. I was at the crime scene. You were at the crime scene. I was in loving the crime scene.

You were witnessing every bit of me walking it, walking up to that car and putting the keys in there and then somehow getting that thing into neutral at the age of three or four, maybe, maybe five. We were still at the old house, so it had to be. Yeah, I was, I think I was five when we moved to the heights. It was four or five, I bet. Yeah. So. Impressive. As someone with a four-year-old, very impressive.

And to, to say I drove. The drove the car through the garage is a bit aggressive. Didn't you just, did you bump the door? I turned the key. I don't even know if the engine started. It just jumped. I think you turn the key, the everything turns on and then put it in, put it in neutral. Okay.

And then it just rolled and the weight of the car broke the door on the garage. Sure. Yeah. I didn't, I didn't. I wasn't smart enough. I don't think. Yeah. So like put that thing in drive and be like,

Let's do this. All right. Let's get back to Jay Richardson's question. Six-year-old nephew had a meltdown because what do we, are we saying how we would handle a six-year-old driving car? Yeah, what would you tell your kids if they insisted they could and should be able to drive the car? Do you just let them, you know? I'd give them the keys.

Let's see how good you are at this. And then when they almost kill themselves. No. Cool. I would, if it really got to a point where you were at a stalemate, I would, without the keys in the car, invite the child to sit in the front seat and have that, like, even if you got to put the seat all the way down and all the way back first. Nice. I would allow them to be like, yeah, like, hey, you can't see the road from here and you can't reach the pedals. How are you going to drive? This is a grown up job. Nice. If it was really a stalemate. But our girls are pretty respectful about the idea of like a grown up. That's a grown up. thing to do. They're not, our kids aren't the big, aren't very fearless.

They're very fearful right now. We're still in that stage. Like they start screaming if they haven't buckled their seatbelts yet, which is new, new to me. They really do. Luser wants their seatbelt on in the pack. You should be lying to me. You should be telling me it's buckled and then you don't have it buckled.

That's what, that's what a kid does. No. We're your seatbelts, kids. I would say, I would say being the one that has. doesn't have any kids. Why don't you give them just like one of those little like go carts, give them the keys. Says Uncle Trave. The only problem.

She's still terrified to even get behind the wheel. That's what I'm saying. She's fearful. I think why it drove it on the other driveway. Yeah. Yeah. Why had to try to put it at the max speed. She was not having it.

No. Don't put it in it. You can't put it as a rabbit. You got to put it at the horse. I was going to say what's two? How fast is that? It's not, I mean. It was definitely like when you hit the pedal.

It was like, ooh. Like a little. Would you proceed a little bit? A little bit. She didn't like that. She'll get used to it. I've seen Jason throw her down the car slide where you put her in the little chair and roller coaster.

That's going way faster than anything. For sure. Absolutely. But try and rationalize that to them. They have no. Yeah. They don't have a lot of rational. They can't even spell rationalize to them, let alone tell them about it.

Sixthold nephew had a meltdown because he insisted he could Should be able to drive the car. Yeah. Yeah. Well, start playing music loud and just, you know, get to your next destination, I guess. All right. To the next one, Marion Beattie, my four-year-old had a meltdown because the time on his watch kept changing. Lasted one hour.

Yeah. Yeah, we're all getting older. It's a harsh reality. I'm going to fucking, what four-year-old has a fucking watch? What are we talking about? I'm so confused about this. Travis literally gave Wyatt a watch. Yeah, but she doesn't wear it or know what time.

She can't tell time. She wore it for like a month straight. To be fair, she wore it even when it wasn't charged, which was hilarious to me. She was a got to put on the watch. And I'm like, sure do. Yeah, you do. It's accessory, both for styling and telling time. Yes, she would have no idea what the,

time changing or I'm just so confused like is this baby's like it's actually seven o'clock oh it's like I don't know I think the fact that I'm assuming bed time is coming this can't be happy my life is over it's going so fast what times the train getting here like what are we talking about I don't think this thing I think that these things are the equivalent of if you cut a sandwich wrong you know yeah it's just like getting them out of their uh comfort zone is it's just like that's not what they wanted yes and typically with especially a four-year-old you're talking about they have a firm opinion on something they that's exactly how they want it now so how we handle

this my four-year-old had a meltdown because the time on his watch kept changing just take the batters out yeah take the batteries out keep changing it back this one seems like a pretty simple one to solve yeah just keep blinding that thing back. He didn't teach him on to wind it backwards. Yeah, exactly. Oh, you don't want it to change yet time is relevant. It's hard to know what watch. Time is relatively. Yeah, right? Yeah. Let me tell you about a person in my Albert Einstein. Let me tell you about time. Time is relative. That's about all I know about the theory of relativity. The theory of relativity, go down a rabbit hole. If you run fast enough, this watch will actually go back.

We put a little movie on. It's called Back to the Future. Not in the Cloud teaches better than I can. There we go. Oh, man, that'll have the kids glued. All right. That's a classic. The next one,

buy the book at PA Papa's books. All right. This morning, my nine-year-old called me a fat bitch and proceeded to try to run away because we were forcing her to go to the dentist. Nice. Wow. How are you guys handling?

getting called a fat bitch if I no comment I gotta keep this one in house oh man nine year old too I always swore a Donna Gelsie one time

there's a reason and I saw that one time and I never did it I said mother fuck and then before that curle came out she laid it across oh yeah

I they weren't mom was not a hitter no no no no I think it's the only time I was struck my mom you only need to be struck my mom one side I'm like all right I'm sorry mom I didn't what were you referring to as a motherfucker I don't know I think I just learned the I don't remember it that well I got a concussion oh my God I have to be honest about that nine seems nine seems like aggressive That's what? That's like fifth, fifth grade,

about fourth, fifth grade? Yeah, four. Man. This is what I would do. This is what I would do. If my nine-year-old

called me a fat bitch, I'll say, Santa, Santa just heard you. You think Santa's going to accept that? We're going to see who's a fat, no-having presents, bitch on Christmas.

Oh! Oh, no. Oh, my God. Yeah. Dude. It's just the dentist. That's all we're doing. We're just going to the dentist.

The dentist was always a good time for me and Jason. Well, that's because we went straight to the popcorn shop afterwards every time. It was actually candy. Yeah, we got candy to enjoy later, but. That's right. Yeah. After the fluoride treatment ran out. Yeah.

After we would play video games for 30 minutes at the waiting room. Yeah. freaking uh mrs dr hall had the freaking it was it was uh mrs hall's doctor name the maiden name i forget her doctor name i forget it man i feel like an idiot anyways yeah that practice was great they had like a nintendo then upped it to a super nintendo then had a nintendo 64 out in the waiting room we only had highlights magazines we had those she had a good it was a it was and wears waldo books we had where's waldo's book yep They were so much on the ceiling.

Yeah. Really? Maybe not on the ceiling. But there were in the, there was like in the thing. The I spy books, though, everybody had already circled every thing in there. Travis is like, somebody else did that. Yeah. Somebody got to it before I did.

Wasn't it you? No. I would have, though. I would have fucking ruined it for everybody. All right. Yeah, I don't really know what else to say. Nine feels old. Nine feels old.

Nine feels old. For what? For what? For what? For what do you mean? I mean, like, when our kids say something they shouldn't say right now, it's soap in your mouth. So what are you saying with a nine? How are you supposed to be soap in a nine year old's mouth?

I mean, I suppose you could. I mean, they might. I mean, nine year old, why it's six? It's only three more years. You're right. You're right. You just got to scare them another way. You got to scare them into where that leads to.

Like, you keep calling people fat bids. You're going to prison. You got to take them to prison. You got to show them what prison looks like. We did have to. Nine year old is not. Nine year old. We did have to explain to why it the other day, what, like, what the meaning of fat is.

She did not like my explanation. Here's about nine-year-old. Please tell the people what your explanation, how fat is. So she asked, what does fat mean? And I said, well, fat is a layer of your skin. I said, everybody has fat. It's all over your body. It's in your face.

It's in your legs. It's all over. Everybody has fat. She was like, yeah, but what does it mean? And I knew what she meant. She meant if I were to call. someone fat. What does that mean? Yeah. Like what am I, what am I calling them? Yeah. And why do they not like it? Yeah. And why is that terribly mean? And so then I said, what do you think fat means? And she said,

like, chubby? And I was like, yeah, that can also mean that. And she was like, okay. And I was like, but you don't call people that. You can talk about the fat on your body, but you don't, you don't say that about somebody else. And she was like, uh-huh. it was it was not it doesn't seem promising but we'll see and also calling someone fat is completely different than calling someone a fat bitch to be fair white white test drove the word bitch a couple times did you not well the one time I do remember she used it in proper context, which wasn't difficult. Ellie was inside the house and why it was closing the front door.

And she went, bitch, and closed it really slowly and said it at the same time. And as soon as I opened the door, she was like, sorry. And immediate buyer's remorse, immediate. Because she knew what was coming. It was a bar of soap. Did you give her the bar of soap or no? I don't know that she got at that time because she had buyer's remorse very quickly. but she has gotten it before,

which is why she knows I'm not joking about a bar or soap. Nice. You can't do empty threats. That's what you can't do. That's you can't do that. Well, this is a waste of time. I don't know if a bar of soap is too,

if a nine year old is too old for a bar of soap, but it's not two year old to strike fear into. For sure. I mean, I would, I would maybe go so far as to look up pictures of people without their dentures in and see how she feels about that. Be like,

this is what happens. We're going to have to address the fat. We're going to have to address the fat bitch. before we get to the dentistry. I just feel like the fat bitch thing probably. Listen here, you short, fuck. Get the fuck upstairs.

You're a timeout. Yeah, also nine is such an awkward age. Like, what do they have that you can take away? Everything. Their freedom. Everything.

Air jail. You're entitled to take away all of it. Yeah. God damn. That's good. fat bitch and like the crazy part is is that child heard it somewhere god i could hurt it anywhere nine year old has access to the internet like well time about them i'm access to the internet a lot of nine year olds nowadays have access to the internet

hours more than that's pretty scary i think i think they can hear it in school they could hear it in like a tv thing probably at school yeah nine year olds yikes fat bitch is so nasty that is so aggressive aggressive yeah i'm not a huge fan of the word bitch like unless it's in a playful way i just don't i don't think it holds a lot of weight yeah you call it you call a fat bitch by your kid i'm just say that i get called a bitch off that's gonna be like you know what sometimes i wear it not funny all right my daughter four years old serious throwing a fit because her brother six flushed his poop before she could see i mean that's a very i get told you

every time I'm wiping Betty's ass don't flush the toilet I want to look at it which I understand I'm 38 years old and I still looking at my shit before I flush it You gotta make sure You gotta take a look at it It's just proper

Like hygiene and it's important to understand if you got shit issues You gotta know you gotta know Don't flush it but yo you gotta take a look at that shit Yeah you got to see how you're digested with I'm kind of with the four year old being upset about this I will tell you I have an embarrassing

number of shits in my camera roll that our child, let me be, let me clarify, they're from children, uh, when I've sent them to Jason. When we were potty training, then like, I would be like, hey, look at that. That shit on that, that shit in a toilet. That's what happens when mom's at the house. Mission accomplished. Yeah. So I did realize that the other day that my, my camera role has, that's some good shit in it. A good eight to ten. photos of a toilet. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to tell you, I'm with the four-year-old on this one.

I think you need to rubber him in the six-year-old. What the fuck are you doing flushing that shit before anybody's taking a look at it? All right, that's no, no, no. If it's damaged. It was his shit. Yeah. He's trying to say that his sister should have been able to see the kid. She wanted to see his shit and he flushed it.

My brother, my daughter, four-year-old throwing a fit because her brother flushed his shit. Yes. Oh, well, yeah. I mean, that's not your business. All right. Now I kind of get it. Now I kind of get it. All right.

I can't. That's his business. You just got to say, like, listen, everybody's shit is their own shit. You can't be getting your involved with other people's shit. The bathroom, you get privacy. Everybody knows that. You get your own. Only you get to look at that shit.

You have to handle your own shit. Yeah. Yes. There's only a few places in this world that you get to be just with your thoughts and your shit. and the bathroom is one of them. Yes. That's so bad.

All right. Well, it is the holidays. So let's get to a little Christmas. Let's talk some Christmas here with Kai. Um, can you help us with the New Heights gift guide for dudes who can't shop good? Mm. Sure.

Nice. We'll give you a genre of gift and you tell us good, bad, trash, awesome idea for the fellas that are, listening to the show. All right. Our first one, we're just going to rapid fire these things. Makeup. Good, bad.

What do you like? Should we buy buying makeup for you? Should we be buying makeup for women? For women. For women, if they enjoy it, I think it's very obvious when a woman enjoys makeup. You can determine that on your eye. For me, no. Don't fucking buy me.

Should men just be buying makeup without knowing the specific makeup? No, but you can go into certain makeup stores and look up their account based on their phone number and know what they're frequently shopped things are wow there you go boys is that real that feels like stalkerish or good gift giving i mean it does it's a great strategy i just i'm not like i feel a little i feel like actually got a brilliant by i feel like i that's a invasion of my privacy by these companies i mean maybe they won't like you but i think that they will all right well you try next one anything health or fitness related is it a fat bitch It does feel a little fat bitchy.

Hey, look at this treadmill. You fat bitch? I'm so sick. You're asking the wrong person because I would say yes. I was going to say if you got like a Peloton or something cool. You're speaking for women of everyone. So I would go with more general, not just you. More general, I would say unless she explicitly asked for it, absolutely not.

No, absolutely not. Unless she asked for that. Like health, health related, I feel like there's some in there that won't feel like you're trying to send a signal. Yeah, I was going to say, but what if you are trying to send a signal? Well, listen, sometimes, sometimes a little nudge. Don't, period. What if you'd write on the card, we could work out together? Can't wait to use this as well.

I'm telling you right now. you go first though um you get you also buy her a set of uh you take the maiden voyage you also buy her a set of pants that are a size smaller with the car that says you can do it a little extra motivation no aggressively no gift cards uh if it's to a store that you that she shops, yes. I think, yeah. I think some women might find this to be a little impersonal. But I think it depends on the relationship with the person you're getting the gift for.

Agreed, but also with online shopping, then she's guaranteed to get something she wants. And it'll come right to her door. I just feel like if you're, it's somebody special, I wouldn't roll into the holidays with just a gift card. That's a great. That is great. Good man right there. It's a good.

Best advice Jason's ever given right there. Yes. Honestly. What about just nice clothing? um sure i don't see why not i would air on the funny t-shirt or yeah you could also send some signals there that would piss me on airing smaller or bigger smaller that would make you more mad yeah i if you get me something i actually want to wear it and if i want to wear it i would rather it be too big than too small i am in the minority don't do that i'm about to say i think you're

sent a bad advice right now i'm giving bad advice don't do that i'm giving bad advice don't do that Yeah, if you're going to go for closing, I would, I would say you get the exact size. You think I'm a 20? You think I'm a 20? Oh my God. He doesn't even know. He doesn't even know. He literally is no idea. He picked a random number.

Let's be honest. Women sizes don't make any sense. They don't. Men's size is the actual circumference of our waist. Yes. Or diameter. Yes. What are women sizes?

They're just arbitrary numbers that they get in field better? They're different at every store, in every brand. Makes no sense. It doesn't make any sense. at all. All right. She's a size 34 waist. What should we say? That's a four. Yeah, just drop the three. Get that three out of here. We got to get this into single digits somehow. I have no idea. Some pants are, I believe, yeah, those are the kind. I like. I think some pants are

similar to men. But then there's others that are two through 20 something. So there are women's pants that have the same sizing as men? I'm pro-d-size. Go-way size? It just make sense. Just make it the fucking... It's all brand-specific stuff, yeah. It is.

It's so dumb. What about scented candles? Yes, I would love a scented candle, but we're not allowed to burn the water. I'm anti-candles. All right. Jewelry. How do you feel about jewelry? Your anti-candles? No, I don't like chemicals.

It's just being burned and thrust into the air for me to be breathing in all day to get fucking brain cancer. Oh, my God. That is quite the stance. Yeah. I'm not, I don't think it makes any sense. Why would I want some artificial fucking flower thing in the air that some person made in a lab from some combination of vegetable, this and that and this essence? I don't want it in my face. Okay.

Although I do like the charcoal, uh, deodor. I do like deodor. I do like, I'm charcoal, uh, cologne. I'll go that. But the, the set of candle, it's just like, no, you don't like, like perfumes either. When we first started dating, it was like, I don't like lipstick, I don't

like perfume, I don't like scented candles. And I was like, well, I don't wear lipstick. I barely wear perfume. You're making this seem like I was giving you ultimatums. This was not how this went down. You got into natural discussion, and I just said that I'm not a fan. That's true. That's true.

I'll give you that. And now Benny just puts lipstick on all day. All day. I fucking love, Benny. Jewelry, the gift that we, thought to give our mother every birthday and Christmas. In particular earrings. Yes.

The jewelry part was not the issue she eventually had. The problem was she eventually had 50 pairs of hearings. To be fair, I feel like your mom mixes up her jewelry quite a bit. Yeah. Is that a now thing or was that a when you were growing up? I'd be lying to you if I told you. I think it's a now thing. She might, I remember she was always like presentable and looked nice going into work.

I've got all these fucking earrings I might as well wear them. I think that's what it is. Yeah. I think she just over the over time she's just kind of accumulated. Yep. She's usually not a good idea. Most women don't like jewelry. God.

Jewelry is a great idea. Is there? There's varying degrees of jewelry. 100%. Is there a bad degree of jewelry? Would you get something from like, like, oh, this is not it? Yeah. And I'm mad.

I don't know that I would be mad. I just think that if it's going to turn your skin green, probably don't get it as a gift. Skin green, that's a thing? Women know what I'm talking about. Yeah. And also, they shouldn't be selling those things. No, they shouldn't, but they do. So let's avoid them.

Is there, how long into a relationship? Is there like a time frame that you should be in a relationship before you go the jewelry route? Or is jewelry always like acceptable? I feel like it's. Jewelries like the opposite of gift cards Do you think Gift cards you can go in a very Like

Low level relationship Maybe just a friendly Co-worker relationship Nice gift card If you show up with like a really nice pair of jewelry To a coworker That's gonna send some mixed That's gonna send some fucking high alert

He had to bring up love actually High alert I didn't even realize Well that was He was getting a necklace To the what was it secure Secretary? secretary yeah well you shouldn't be buying i think there's a great spectrum of jewelry that i think that

you can hit any time in a relationship like you could get a cute pair of little studs for someone and that's that's sufficient what about like kitchen appliances i will say what if what of uh what of today's favorite gifts that i got her was the bread slicer oh nice because she's she's been throwing together so much fucking sourdough, gosh. I've got the best gut health there is. I love you, Ty. And it is true. Like, one of the unfortunate things with making fresh bread is trying to cut that shit.

It is hard. And the slicer makes a big deal. Yeah. More importantly, the responsibility to eat it. What? Oh, no. That's the easy part. I take it upon myself to crush it as fast as possible.

Yeah. And that's probably not great. No, it's all, it's fresh. Yeah. Bread, if it's not like, if it hasn't been like the preservatives in there and made shelf stable, nuts, healthy. So good. What about like beauty products like red light masks and like. Red light.

Exfoliating creams. He has no idea what you're talking about. I think that those, the people who would love receiving those gifts, you're going to be able to tell because you can go into their bathroom and see that they have the exfoliators and all of the. the different night serums and all of that. Yep. The mist, the face mist. Yes. If you know their beauty routine, their nighttime routine is a lengthy one,

this is probably the category for you on gift. Nice. Some of those products are expensive. Yeah. So you're turning back time. Yep. You are. How do you feel about a mug with like world's best mom on it?

I'm pretty sure your dad got me that. That's a bit of Ed Kelsey staple, I think. With pictures. of like a picture of our family on it. Nope. That's a head Kelsey's staple right there. It's a local screen pretty shop and he'll get some mugs made. A lot of us in our cabinet right now. This is not a joke.

I said as we have it in our cabinet right now. Is it a good? Is it a good gift or no? A local printing shop. It's literally a mall kiosk. Big head. Oh my gosh. That's so good.

It's like, all right. December 4th. Yep. Head to the store. To the mall kios. Head to the mall. I'm fine. That's a good,

that's a good gift. I'm just asking. I don't know. Nice. Well, this has been the new heights gift guide for dudes who can't shop good. And Kylie, thank you so much for giving.

No, I think they got, I think they got somewhere for sure. Okay. Yeah. So make sure you get those pelotons, guys. This episode is releasing on Christmas Eve. So hopefully you've already done your show.

shopping guys. But good luck. All the fellas. Yeah. There's tips for next year or your next relationship. If it doesn't end well this Christmas. We have one last thing for you, Kai, before you get up out of here. And it's one last segment before we get up out of here.

And since it's the holidays, we wanted to get Kylie a gift from this show. This can't be good. It's going to be so good. Oh, no. This can't be good. I think this is the kiosk that Ed Kelsey goes to. Ooh. She's candy?

Personalization mall. Can we lift this up? Now that it doesn't contain our address, yes. show show do I know what this is what is it wait what not what she thought it was oh you show everybody is this a husband whistle it's a husband whistle anytime you want jason to do some chores to get his attention to get the shit done now it says new heights boyfriend whistle go ahead go ahead go Give that thing a run. Let's hear it.

To be fair, I got a built-in one. Yeah, Kylie doesn't use. Yeah, good call. It is. I've seen it in action, too. It definitely works. I'm excited about this, though. This is good. Don't try and take my own. This is not for you. This is for me. Thank you so much. Everyone at the New Heights team, you know what's funny? When I shook it and I heard it, I thought to myself, am I getting? a Kelsey Bell.

Kelsey Bell. Oh. Because we have yours. We have an ornament that is a Travis. It's like the little bear and it's a bell. Oh, it's an ornament. We'll give it to you eventually. It's on our tree right now.

No, it can stay there. I thought first, listen, but if you, I thought it was a bell. It definitely sounds like that. I don't know exactly what you're saying. No, it's just to boss my husband around. Get your shit done, Jason. I need. It's only the trash.

It's only the trash I need. Kylie, this will be again, a record-setting episode for us. So thank you guys so much. No, it won't, but happy fucking holidays. Merry Christmas. You need me to it. Thanks for joining us, Guy. Anytime.

Don't, I'm, that's a lie. Don't, I'm busy. We will exhaust that. All right, here's the deal. You guys have been mailing us stuff all year, and we finally decided to show some of it off. We don't know what's in the boxes. I think intern Brandon or Jess Jake,

whoever is handling the PO box does know, but regardless, welcome to New Heights Show and Tell, brought to you by Netflix. Oh, shout out the Netflix, baby. It is the holiday season, so we figured it's totally right that we open some of the presents. Some of the United Juba centers have been sending us. Yeah, let's do it.

Let's do it. I'll get the first one because it's not even wrapped and it's one of the coolest things that I've seen since I was there. And that is the Chicago ESPN Zone hat, baby. Oh, this thing fits like a glove already. Look at this thing, Jason. That thing is so freaking sick. It is so dope.

There was something life-changing. When we first went into the ESPN Zone in Chicago, it was like, it was an incredible experience. It was insane. I was like, I was made for this. This is my home. The coolest thing ever. There was like the, there was like the, there was the indoor. like there's like the little ice rink

and everything that's the one I remember that's on yeah and they had the same thing with basketball too all right I have I don't know if I should open that one I'll drink a lot of beers out of this a lot of beers will just be have

glass look at that look how sweet this is this is craftsmanship right here check out this pure craftsmanship from just says Greg Oh, should we got to say who it's from? I don't know. It just says Greg right here.

I'll say it. But it's just a nice cute dog with the dog pound hat on. Look at those floppy ears. Man, that's adorable. Oh, nice. The dog pound, man. Yeah, dog pound. I mean, it's like a baby dog pound.

Oh, here's from Greg. From one proud Clevelander to two others who never forget where they came from. Thank you. Inside the box are a few pieces of my world. As a pet and wildlife animal photographer based here in Cleveland, my 2026 rescue dog calendar, the 2026 Gatsby, the Galaxy Kitty calendar, the 226 Fox Tale Sanctuary calendar, all filled with animals who remind us of kindness and why it matters.

Nice. A portion of sales from all calendars, go to organizations who take care of animals who need us the most. I also had a photo I took of a rescue otter for the Cleveland. Trab, that must be in yours. Check your box now for your otter. Thank you, Greg. Yeah, Greg, thank you. Oh, since we were talking about forging our own knives.

You got a knife action? Oh, yeah. How does this work? Oh! Yeah, be careful. Be careful. Be careful. Nice, man.

This thing's sweet. Wow. Jason, you have one of those, too. Damn, this thing's legit. Oh. Oh, whoa. I got some stockings for the tree. Jen Woda, shout out to the Heights, Heights alumni.

Cleveland's finest. Oh, this is awesome. Let's go. bitch i'm from cleaver heights let's go jason look nice that's awesome this really feels like christmas guys this is crazy i love that

i'm gonna start drinking coffee out of there thank you jen all right somebody uh from marjorie s merry christmas everyone jason and calli hope you enjoy these and your girls fill them with love if you would like matching ones for the girls i let me know who knows i might make them anyways we got a dad eagle stocking that's legit and a mom wonder woman stocking nice she is she's wonder woman thank you marjorie marjorie sounds like somebody who did it's found my otter that's awesome i look how happy this little guy is a little girl is

nice dude i got ESPN's own thing too dude this thing is that this thing has been worn Yeah. That thing looks is so fucking sweet. I can't wait to rock this thing. That is a great color on you. You know, like when it's been like, we've got like mildew, it's just been sitting in a box forever.

Smell? Oh, that smells so good. That thing is awesome. Jason, did you find your knife yet? Yeah, I got my knife. It's pretty incredible. It's cool, right? Very cool.

Dude, extremely dangerous. Extremely dangerous. I like that it goes back in. I don't know how they. did that. Yeah. So it's like a double spring mechanism? Man, that's cool.

Well, this is, there's a whole letter to you, intern, Brandon. I don't know if you read this. Uh, probably. Which one was this? Dear intern brandon, if you're reading this, this means you've laid eyes on my masterpiece, a true work of art that took an entire day of my life to color. Oh, yeah. So I'm going to need you to pass it along to Jason Dress before I start crying on the floor.

Anyways, my name is Am, Amel. Amelie? Amelie? Amelie. I'm 22, graduated from Florida. to stay last December and I started Chloe and Maisie company, a coloring book brand inspired by my two dogs. Yeah, she made a custom like

New Heights coloring thing. 10% of all proceeds are donated animal rescue. Nice. And I think there's some stuff in there for the girls to color. This is from Amelie. Otter. Dude, the otter's good. It's so good. The otter's good. Guys, what do you think of the PO box? I'm a big fan.

We get a bunch of free cool stuff. I assume that you grabbed all the good stuff and you gave us some of the place. Look at this. Nice. That thing's sweet. I got a custom baseball jerks. Jake, Jake, wait, Jake, show them what you got.

Somebody sent this to Jake specifically. I also got that jersey, which is pretty sweet. I'm pretty sure I got that exact baseball jersey, too. But then I don't know if you guys remember this from season one. Someone made a Christmas card with me as the little elf and a big Yetty, Travis, and Yukon, Cornelius, Jason. And then shout up my wife. she made it into a Christmas sweater. Nice.

There we go. You guys are awesome. 92% you're the best. Thank you for all the cool stuff. Thanks for tuning in each week. Thanks for tuning into this week. And hopefully you guys have a Merry Christmas. Have a wonderful time with your families.

And that wraps up New Hyde Show and Tell. No Heights Show and Tell is brought to you by Netflix. Hey, you. Got some fun stuff coming out on Netflix during the holidays. All righty, that wraps up another episode of New Hides. Make sure you subscribe to New Hides. new heights channel on youtube and follow new heights in the wondery app or wherever you get your podcast we'll be back with an all new episode next wednesday you can listen to new episodes of new hides

ad free right now by joining wonderie plus in the wondery app or on apple podcast once again new heights a wonder show brought to you by nike this week how about it man shout out to nikey my favorite of all the time uh follow the show on all social media at new heights show with one s thanks to the new heights production team for always making it fun and uh cheerful and we love you guys for making uh making uh our lives that much easier and uh happy holidays to everybody and so those 92 percenters for tuning in this week we'll see you guys i don't know next year these things are fucking cool shout out chavez knives i'm going to obliterate some boxes up with a holiday this is perfect for christmas too i'll be slicing boxes putting them in the categories and getting them out there

on the curb yes Why would somebody with a BBL need to sit on a cushion? I don't even think they're allowed to sit on their ass. I think they have to lay down. That's the joke of when all the people who get BBLs come back on the plane. They're all laying down. That's only for like, well, it's healing. Once it's healed, it's like you've got a permanent seat cushion.

You don't even eat. A permanent cushion. Let me tell you about all the research I've done into BBLs. Yeah. You just take the, uh, the outdoor furniture. You just take the cushion off because you got the BBL. You don't need the cushion. You already got the cushion added.

So bad. Do you think when they sit on, if you have a BBL and you sit on... Brandon actually highlighted. It says Jason. It's always highlighted. Yeah. If you sit on your BBL on like a cold steel bench, do you think you feel it or do you think it's... Yes.

I think you do, yeah. They're not killing the nerves when they do it. Yeah, but does it insulate insulate? some ways or something like that. You got an insulated ass. I don't. I don't have a BBL. That's the evolution.

You got the heater and cooler coming in next. You're going to have BBL, AC, and heat coolers, heat seats. Like in the car, you can just press the button on which one you want it to be. That's going to be the next evolution of BBLs. It has turn signals on it. It comes with an app and you can turn your heated seat on

in your face. My BBL's Wi-Fi enabled. It's a hot spot. Can I get your ass over here real quick? I'm trying to look at tape. It's got a, it's got a potpourri fucking built-in

whenever you fart to just scorch popery out with it. This BBO comes in the potpourri gland. this is why it is thankful yeah you've ever you've ever to shock that this podcast takes 18 days to report right that is fucking brilliant

between the the AC and heat seats yep and the potpourri yeah dude that's a fucking bang they're selling themselves I'm I get one might get one

I might get one never was interested I was interested I wasn't doing it for the look of it, but I mean, if it's coming with all these. You ever sat on a heated seat when it's cold out, it's nice. And I can have that at any time I wanted. I can't.