New Rory & MAL - Best Of | Random Moments | Happy 4th

Episode Date: July 3, 2026

We're taking a short break for 4th of July Weekend but didn't want to leave you empty handed.  Here's some funny random moments from the last 5 years.  Thanks for listening and we hope everyone has a fun and safe weekend. We'll be back Monday on Patreon All lines provided by Hard Rock Bet Visit your nearest Boost Mobile store or https://www.boostmobile.com/promo/25-foreverSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Joy is essential and it's also elusive. But now, there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence, Joy 101. It's a new podcast hosted by me, Hoda Kotby. If you're craving inspiration to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting, and moving on-air chats. Open your free IHeart Radio app. Search Joy 101 and listen now.

Joy 101 with Hoda Kotopje is presented by CVS. I'm Jake Brennan, and on my podcast, Disgraceland, I tell the stories behind music's biggest names, like how the story of the foo fighters isn't just about music, it's about grief, shock, in the moment everything changed. Imagine that. You're in the biggest band on the planet,

as Dave Grohl was in 1994 in Nirvana, and the phone rings, and you learn that your singer, your friend, the reluctant voice of a generation, Kurt Cobain is dead. Listen to Disgraceland on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My first guest is Karas Hilton, Shakira, Luke and Yerrin. Have surprises?

Many surprises. Welcome to the Sweet 305 podcast where the group check comes to life. What a! You're the only person I know that loves a yellow starburst. It's lemonade. This is Sweet 305. Here, oversharing is encouraged. Listen to Sweet 305 with Llele Pons on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.

My husband is at a spa resort with his mistress right now, and I'm calling the hotel to confront them both. Wait a minute, Dakota. She's calling the hotel while they're checked in together. Yeah, that's right, Sophia. And it gets worse. It's Vacate to Vacation Week on the Ok Storytime podcast, where she caught him buying gifts on Amazon, and then tape the 10-page letter inside his luggage before he flew out. So she planted evidence before he even took off?

And spoiler, Sophia, two years later, karma hits so hard. He's calling his ex-wife in tears saying about his mistress. What a mistake that was. To find out what happened, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. No. Put the weed like that. Hold on you telling me some shit like that.

Yeah, we was blessed with. No. You can't hide note the. we why are you telling me that this might not be my baby? Oh, no. Here's, this is where we get to it. Because technically you're the baby's daddy anyway. Technically you're the baby.

No, I'm not. Technically DNA would say otherwise. Technically, that ain't my baby. If we're talking of technicalities here, that ain't my kid. Get your blessings off you. Yeah, like, you'll share your blessings. Yeah, that's your blessing. Your baby.

It's a blessing. That is not my blessing. And I want back taxes on everything. I need all that back. Yeah, I need all of that back. That's the blessing. Give me my money back. Give me that formula.

I'm going to go get another girl pregnant. Do you leave a girl if you've been kind of in the baby's life and find out like three, four months into it? It's not yours, though. You out of there, Carl? Three, four months. Three, four months, y'all out of there. Six months, y'all ain't leaving. Yeah, I ain't going to where.

So what does the extra three months do? Is that like the, there's no turning back after those six, three extra months? Six. But you got to add in the not, like, the nine months to, I've never had a kid. but I'd imagine you get attached to the kid while she's pregnant too as thinking it's yours. So you're adding nine months plus the three or four. You're invested. You was at the hospital.

Carl. You did not just. How did he go there? Yo. How did you get that from that? That's what you called children? I'm going to look at another man's nut. What?

Did the mics pick that up? Yeah. What is happening right now? I got to look at another man's nut. No, you don't. No, it's a developed child. It's no longer a nut. He didn't come on your bed.

No, it's a child. Yo, that is the sickest. Y'all got to look at another man's nut. And then you saw he put his hand out. I got to look at another man's like the nut was right. I looked over there like, wait, what were they doing before we got it? Who nut? Imagine life going to air and like, look this nut.

Oh, my God. Carl, it's not as a child. There's a baby. You can't call it a nut. Another man. You know, that's the sickest thing I've ever heard a child be referred to in my life. And he was dead ass. He wasn't joking when he said that shit.

He was dead ass. I can't. But yeah. Wait, I do want to hear more from Carl. Because he answered that so quickly and was like, no, I'm out of here. I'm not looking at a dude. What? Why would you view it that way?

Because. Get close to him. Thank you. Come here. It's fine. We have edit buttons. Just edit that angle out, Carl. No, no.

Let him catch his ass like they call mine. That was nasty. Keep all this, and I ain't like that you put Demaris's ass right on YouTube. There's a microphone right there. So, nah, I'm saying. So not. So nah.

Because it's not my kid and you lied to me practically for a year. What if she didn't know? That's even worse. That you got multiple. It's me. No, I think it's worse if you know and you ain't telling me. If you ain't know DNA tests, she ain't know. But now I got to put up with it.

Well, if he's a badass kid, it's, I'm the niggas. It's not my responsibility. At six months old, how bad can't be he can't even grow up to him? He can't go around the house. Carl running around. Look at this other genetics.

Yeah, look at this nut walking around. All that nut does is shit and eat. So, y'all taking care of it? After? After is not mine? No. No. After it's not mine.

If I find out it's not mine, no. I'm not taking care of that kid. It depends. I know some people that were in situations where the child was like four and five when they found. when they found out. Obviously, at that point,

it's hard to detach yourself from somebody's life that you've been a part of. But we're talking about months, six, nine months, no. Mall, I got a question. What you had to do for that Magic City hat? So, we went to...

Mall going to the merch table at Magic City is fucking crazy. No, so what happened was... I was in Atlanta. I was in Atlanta with Daniel and Jaydie. We all went out one night. Drop them. Drop them.

You know, that's the homies. We got to... We got a link with us. homies um biance so i turned around i look jd like i said he's he's in the dj booth still like any artist he's working with new artists music he walks to the dj booth has the dj play the record so i turn around they're like on the other side and i turn around and uh justice had this hat on jd had this hat on i was like oh shit i ain't no magic city had merch so y'all was trying to like coordinate like no like literally like bmf like oh match and magic city merch is no no

No, like literally you can get it right there by the bar. And I was like, oh, I'm definitely getting a Magic City hat. So you was trying to match with the homies at the strip club? No, I didn't put it on. But I definitely walked out of there with a Magic City hat in my hands. Did you crown a chick with it? I don't think that's how it goes. Like, I think she'd rather just crown it with some cash.

No, she just wants, throw them singles in your pocket. Like, I choose you tonight. You're the lucky winner? Yeah. This is your chaining day. So y'all got a Magic City hat, man. I think that's kind of, you know. That's culture, D.

that's a big that's a big part of the hip hop culture the hip hop community a lot of records came out of magic city i just think it's funny just going to the souvenir store at the strip club yeah it's who you pay it's not a store it's a young lady that's walking around with i bet she was merch she has the hat on did she sign it for you she should have actually i should have got her to sign the brim no she didn't but yeah shout out to magic city man damaris we got to take you then when we go back to Atlanta i still can't believe you never been to magic city loy i was trying to I told Loyant, I wanted y'all to take me to Miami for my birthday. Loyal and was like, nah, Houston.

That's sick. Look at the accountant. Look at the conversation. Yo, look at our team. Sick as name. Like, have them take you to Houston. Like, wait. He said, no, he said, let's go to Houston.

I said, let. Oh, so he's a part. The accountant is coming to Houston, Rory. See? Listen, man. We need to watch the accountant. Listen, man. We got to watch lawyer.

Yeah. Well, watch your ass, too. So here's the thing about having, like, a business manager in a sometimes certain charges will come up and you know you're paying him to not have the headache of having a deal with yeah yeah yeah so you know sometimes they're going quick books and want to organize certain stuff for expenses and just start popping charges in your private life may just pop up yeah on on business cars yeah what you was doing you got one hold on rory hold on i got to no i'm just gonna expose my life i don't do you can the cards mixed up

No, I did it intentionally with, it was my personal business car. Oh, okay. All right. I'm scared. This is at 7.15 p.m. on Friday. Gotham video and distribution on credit card for 374 on December 12th. Do you know what this is for, Rory? Gotham?

What is that? 374 is what's bothering me. I said, I got to get a whole separate account. account for certain purchases that you can't see, Loyon. He said, bro, I don't judge you on anything. Trust. I've seen just about everything. I said, okay, that's a sex store in the city. I am who I am. And he said, I'll file it under props for a sketch.

That's why. He's good. He's good. That's the guy right. He's good. He's good. He knows what to file it. Listen, man. 374 what the fuck did you buy Rory a doll? You bought a fuckable doll? Listen, I'm in there some nasty shit I would never fuck a doll. Okay, so what the fuck?

Three, so. Okay, sorry. No, you know, Rory had to get, he had to get lube. He had to get handcuffs. You know, the shit Irish people get, you know, shot glasses. Straps that literally clip under your mattress. Yeah.

Oh, you bought a sex swing. 374, he bought a sex swing. That's why the couch don't fit in a little room. I like I get it I'm on to you I'm on to you I'm on

You never went to the playground And went on the swings Absolutely You never did Did the back flip out of the swing Absolutely Now do that into some pussy I've never thought about

Carl over here I fucking hate Working with all of y'all Do some backflip into the pool No but let me tell you all this I was fine with everything Even the Loyal thing didn't really bother me

What bothered me was Recycling Day Why Those Boxes aren't discreet. Yeah, he had to put the box out. I had to put all the boxes out in the street. Wait, well, what kind of boxes did that shit come in?

I was multiple boxes. Oh, you went crazy. I went three $374. You went crazy. On 8th Avenue, an 8th Avenue sex store? Yeah, you went crazy. You go in there when you're drunk to laugh. You don't really buy shit there.

He went crazy. He went crazy. You went crazy. You tried shit. 374 on 25 cent peep shows. Listen, man. As long as they know, see, it would be worse. what it came from me.

Well, this was on my personal. I didn't put this on our shit. Don't worry. Oh, I'm not tripled. We see it up like, listen, he's paying for that. No, I'm not Ian. He's paying for that. That's Rory's charge, not mine.

Derek didn't stand a chance, by the way. Let me just let you know that. Derek didn't stand the chance. We got to make that a segment. I don't even know. We sort of. We should just leave it. I was just fuck away.

I'd act like I didn't know what you were talking about. Me and Rory saw the video yesterday. You got some bars in there, though. Di, I ain't go hard. Your new name is Baby D. and 1,000% you was 100% Crip. I could tell about everything you had on in that video. You was definitely running around.

I had on a red leather. How the fuck am I? That's how you throw them off. So they hit you with the suit, and you're like, nah, that ain't even what I'm jacking on this side. She was throwing the boys, though. I really thought. They was trying to build a Rico against the marriage.

I had to throw them off. Who sent it to you? I would like to know. Rory sent it to me. All right. I do want to lead with, as much as Maul and I were joking on you all day yesterday. I did all...

Behind my back, though, y'all fake. Of course, sure. We know we fake. We fake it, foe. I did say, nah, DeMaris kind of barred Derek up. Yeah, no, I said, I said Derek didn't stand a chance.

And we need to find Derek. Where's Derek at? For those that don't know. There's an amazing, amazing video of Demaris on YouTube from 13 years ago, maybe. Thank you so much for telling everybody would have find it. Oh, that's going to get a million.

Is that your page? You better monetize that shit. Put some copyright claims on all that shit. You gave Derek some bars. So can we get the history between you and Derek? Like, what happened? How did we get to the battle? Like, because you said first of what, that was light.

You was like, you're not even going hard. This is a light low. This ain't even a battle. This is me like letting you, this is a warning. You gave him a warning. You gave him four minutes of warn. You know when Pock said, I'm going to let my little homies finish you off?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how she was talking. She's like, for context purposes. She's like, you get no bitches. I was like, yo. She did ether. I say, you'll look at Demaris. All right.

To add context for people that think we're just going off the rails here. There is a video from 13 years ago of Demaris rapping about a gentleman. Barr and Derek the fuck up. And the title, which I think is the thing that everyone just brushed over. She just said a quick little diss to Derek as the title. No, I got to find it. I got to find it. I just want to read the title.

I want to read the title about it. But we're here now. I want to read the title verb. Oh, no, we're going to play it now. Yo, Damaris, I have so many questions. Like, I feel like we, I feel like our bond is like a lot. Now that I saw that video, I feel like we're a lot closer. Demaris, you're not going to copyright me, right?

There's so much shit. Oh, it's called Boy, please. There's, you. Yo. I got a way. Oh, you got it? Okay. Yeah.

And she did it to the, you know Damaris is a rapper for real when she picked the going in beat because she heard her win on that and was like, Oh yeah, I got to hop on this. Yeah, I'm going in. I got to hop on this. It's fucking hilarious. This is this isn't even right. Like, what are you doing?

Carl, can we put the actual video in the lower? No. Yo. Don't be scared. Yeah, video right here, Carl. Hold on. Like, no, don't skip my intro. I kind of want to break the fit down before.

I want to take my time with this one. No, they're seeing it. They're going to see the fit. That's what I'm saying. I know that red leather. That red leather was infamous in the hood. That's the joint that that was hanging right in the store as soon as you walked in.

Remember they used to hang the leathers on the wall? That was up there with the Charlotte Hornets jacket. Absolutely. 1000%. That's why let you know fans send me shit about your past all the time. That's fine. Damaris. I don't have a misrepid on YouTube.

I'm not getting my balls off on YouTube. We've been potting for seven years. You know how many times I've woken up to my mentions about my past? Yes. With mad. That's regular shit. That's regular shit. I feel bad for you.

I feel bad for you. I don't even want to do this to you. This hurts me more than it hurts you. I'm not playing with you. You detect a run when the way you start spraying that you. Nicking is you bad because the baddest ain't laying with you. You weren't even real. Boy, I've been because it came at you.

Derek. You can't fucking hear it. Nah. When she's Eric. Wait, when she like... You can't fucking hear it. When she let the beep breathe for a second, we're like, Derek. Derek.

that beef was real yeah how many bodies drop behind that beat what was the hood like at that time yeah you shook the block how many bodies drop how many nippers in the cemetery how much pain they put in you know what

y'all getting this off if you're so Derek definitely beat yo Derek definitely he clapped yeah didn't beat I don't let you guys I'm not let you get that off I'm not let y'all get that off

Derek did not beat yo I got to get Derek going to lie. Where is Derek? Yo, Derek, please, man. We need you on the fucking show. He did not. He did not. Everything he did not be. All right. So what started to be? Give us the backstory on the beef. And then we'll continue to the freestyle. So this is back when

Facebook used to be popping up. I was in high school. I was in like freshman. Oh, no. We can't tell. He was about 16 in this video. We know. We see it. So Derek just, we used to have rap battles on Facebook, but we used to type, like type the rap battles out. Okay. But he just went a little bit too hard one day in the comments. Like, when we was going back and forth and I was like,

nah, I'm going to record this shit. He sent a personal, a little personal shot. Yeah, I felt like, oh, no, you know. Like, we're not playing anymore. Yeah, I ain't like that shit. Oh, gloves was off. Yeah. But Derek actually, Derek is, shout out to Derek and his family.

Do you remember the bar that was too personal that made you clip up? I wouldn't even remember. Yeah, because you had, this Venom D? I'm not going to lie. It feels like you've been waiting for Derek. He might have called, like, my rap stiff or something. And I just, I took it really defensive. Oh, he threw a shout at your ball.

Also, you got to show him that your balls ain't stiff. Yeah. No, like my rat, no, like my hair. Oh, he said your hair was stiff. Like it wasn't flowing, how that bounce, that body, that condition you needed. Okay, okay, okay. He said my shit was stiff and I got upset. I love you, but judging my video, Derek may have had a point.

Yeah, the bob wasn't bobbing. Definitely didn't bob. Like, because you swung your head one time and the head didn't move. When you tried to lean into the camera and say Derek, nothing moved. I was like, yo, Dee, I don't know if that was the style back then, but that shit ain't moving that. It was a lot of olive oil spray. You know what I'm saying? It was a lot of olive oil spray.

But I like you gave him the green lights. Like, you tried to see. set the mood. You gave him visuals to the just record. It's literally my childhood. I was looking, I was like, this is my childhood bedroom in my background. It's a Harry Potter poster. It ain't going to lie. I like the fact that someone up with Harry Potter in the background is fucking, yeah, it just

says a lot. Ain't I ain't ain't going to lie. You gave him one eye. You even give them both eyes. Yeah, I see the swoop over the left eye. When I find out who I'm fucking Reddit discovered this, I promise you. This was the highlight of my night. Did you guys see the description? Demaris embarrassing this lame real quick.

Which she definitely typed. Well, you know de matter. In third person. This is great to marriage. This is all a part of your story and your legend. So do not be ashamed of this one bit. This isn't embarrassing. In my opinion, this is not embarrassing at all.

This is not embarrassing. If embarrassing had a definition, this. No, that's not embarrassing because you actually were rapping really good for four minutes. Like, yeah, like, you got your shit off. Like, it's just funny because we know you and we love you now. So to see you 12 years ago is like, holy shit. And I can, I trusted you already. But now I can officially trust you.

because you try, like you try to rap. I don't trust anyone that didn't try to rap as a child. Yeah. Like, you're untrustworthy but I knew I was trash early so my career was over like quick. My rap career was over quick.

You was better than me. You were the baddest thing. You was the baddest? You said it came at you. Dear it. You can't fucking rhyme. I was poor for Darnell because my best thing at a time.

I'm a new car. Like was Darnell like the... And you held the other Darnell down. So y' y'all should have made a group called the triple D. Demaris, Donnell and Derek. See, y'all missed your whole Locke's opportunity.

Like, y'all could have money, power, and respect. Yo. I fucking hate you. Yo. I feel like I really... Yo. All right.

I'm sorry. All right. My best. Did you watch the fucking... That's your podcast. Did you watch the Wutang Hulu Doc? Like, Ghost and Ray was going at each other when they was kids.

Then they formed... They formed the squad. Yeah. It's not too late for this. It's not too late for y'all. I ain't going to lie. Imagine if Derek ended up being Stovegaw.

Yo. How crazy would that be? You know how crazy that would be? Like what if Darren who she's rapping for? Because Darren, you know, he was high up. He was, or Darnell, rather. He was already the hottest. He ain't time for this shit.

Yeah, it was like he's working on the album. He couldn't really. He was working on reasonable drought at that time. Yo. He didn't have time for Derek. Yo, DeMaris. This was great. I just want you to know this.

My nigga, you have no wife, no oudies, no blood, you get no one. Follow my rules. So I call your little ass. You're going to smoke in her. She's going crazy, OD, right? Look at your fucking taste. I can make you disappear. Look at your face.

Imagine telling you, look at your face. That's a this. That's a real dis. You know, look at your face, yo. That's a real this. And telling someone that's 16-year-old, you don't even have a wife. That's how I was about to say, like, is he supposed to? He's 16.

Look at the pressure you was putting on it. Hard it was to get buns and 16. It wasn't easy. He was older. I think if I was 16, he was probably around 21. Oh, you was okay. He was bad. He was a creep.

He was like, no, he might have been like 19, 20. He was old. He's definitely out of high school. I was still in high school. He was out of high school. I am going to, we are going to finish this, but did he respond? Was this round one? He didn't respond after that, no.

Oh, he took, yeah. I wouldn't have either. Rap a lot stepped in. He didn't respond? No, he didn't respond. Yeah, rap a lot. Jay Prince said, Yeah, we got to dead this one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Derek, don't even reply, man. Yeah, what Jay Prince said? Don't play in the mud with the pigs or whatever. Yeah, you know, he gave him some knowledge. Like, yo, listen, if you're playing the pig with the mud, you can only expect to get dirty. Yeah.

It's always like, I was just... I see what you say. I'm glad Jay Prince dead at this, though, because this could have got crazy. Yeah, I ain't going to lie. I'm just glad nobody's dropped. We don't know that though Roy, you so fake You could have sent that to me

And be like, yo My name ain't got you up Maul replied right back to me Does Jamaris know you've seen this? Yo. I said, no, that's why I just sent it to you. I was like, yo, nah, D' you're gonna kill I said, I see her, she's gonna kill us.

I was at, so funny enough, I check our Reddit regularly because that's where everything hits first So if Rory's nudes drop Anything like that. I'm a lone. If my news drop it, I leaked them. But what's a nude though?

My dick? All right, because I'm going to say, if you like... Men can only have one nude. That's all I say, any nigga that's like full front to in the mirror butt ass, you deserve to have them league that shit. No, but girls, like I said, we had a conversation with girls taking pictures of your ass, you know, when they got up out of bed. Girl, you guys need to take pictures of niggas ass?

I used to when I was younger. They do. I felt very violated in the past. I had the same reaction. Like, why would you do that? Because we know that it's a vulnerable spot for you. Wow. You vulnerable.

So you can't pop all that. Yeah, I beat shit. But it's like, yeah. but look at you. I still beat, though. This is proof. It's actually proof that I beat. I'm fresh out the beat.

Like, that don't need race to beat. Listen, it's... And now you just got my nasty-looking ass on the internet. Like, it's like, all right, whatever. I still beat, though. And on top of that, what's it say if I didn't even take my pants off to fuck you? Like, what's I say about you? Yeah, that's crazy.

No, your pants up? Yeah, I get what you saying. Yo, Dee, is it disrespectful how to talk in my hunger? Is it disrespectful for a man to have sex? I didn't even actually... Because everything you asked me, you already know the answer. too. So let's just skip the record roll. He does do that a lot.

It's just funny. I like the answer. Because he know that. Yeah, he knows. Disrespectful. Yo, but serious question. Is it disrespectful for a guy to, like, fuck you through, like, the whole boxers? See? You see? Why do you ask me shit like this? Why do you ask me stupid shit like that? No, because what if it's on a sneak? Like, what if that's spontaneous? Nobody with boxers. Why are you fucking anybody in boxers? No, the boxer briefs. Not, not actual boxers. Like the box. I don't even, do they still sell box? Yeah, they still still. I would

never wear boxers. Boxer briefs, I'm talking about. But the briefs I have is hard to like, to take your dick out of that weird like boxers, you could take your dick out pretty easily through that slit. Briefs is tough to, it's easier to take your briefs off than try to stick your dick through the hole on briefs.

You're sick if you do that shit. But you know how sometimes niggas just do dumb shit. But my whole girl was saying it's crazy disrespectful for a nigga to do that. That's extremely disrespectful. It also doesn't make sense, but it's also extremely disrespectful. Well, if you're purposely trying to be disrespectful, that makes sense.

I read a study that said, I think... You didn't read a study. Yeah, I read a study. Where did you? Where did it? I'm trying to find it. It says 80% of people have orgasms when they don't have any socks on. How do they pull these things?

I don't know. Did the CDC do this? I'm trying to find it. Is this Fauci's research? No, no, no. This was a real thing that they researched. They said, like, 80% of couples, they only can receive orgasms when they don't have their socks on.

They got to be barefooted in order to receive orgasm. If she has socks on or off, she's probably not going to come. So I feel bad. But I'm a nut. If she has socks on, that means she, like, she ain't get that petty,

that fresh petty and she don't wear her. I can have hugs on. I'm a nut. I don't know for her. I have nutting them's. Yeah, socks ain't stopping me from brushing. I'm sorry. Sox?

I do think it is weird to fuck with socks on, but I could nut with socks on. Is it weird? And I don't think it's the socks that's not making a woman come. it's probably the person she's fucking. It's him. And her.

I've done that research. A woman has to. Women have to. That's women that know their body well from what I've understood and what women have told me. I'm not speaking for women. Right. Of course not. We would never do that on this platform.

Women that know their body a little bit better can come easier. D. Can you pass me that? But I wouldn't know. I'm not past eating nothing. I quit. Did I tell you? Why?

Why? Ho! Ho! Oh. Oh. Wait, you said he was the best Eric ever had, because I'm gonna be a guy. Wait, you said he was the best Derek ever had? Leave me alone.

This is the best part. Wait, wait, wait, I didn't hear that last night. Stop calling me to take Nikki Minaj. Nah, but DeMaris ended that fucking freestyle. Like, she knew she bought up. Say, yo, leave me alone. You see what I just did? Yeah, like, I don't know.

Leave me alone. Stop playing. Stop trying to call me a fake Nicki Minot. Stop trying to come at me. Stop trying to say a pump-lake, all right? Stop. You don't want to riddle me. You look like putting up a bum's life.

Damn. She's at Derek, right? This all because he said your hair wouldn't move? All of that? I don't believe that. You got to tell me what Derek really did. That was way too much emotion behind that. You look like some shit all like after.

Like some shit off a cartoon. Damn. him. All right, so, Damar. This is like killing Derek right now. Adam, you've been here five minutes. My whole crew, love reading. Shout out to my sister, Shay.

Oh, please turn this off, because I want to shout out none of these people. Oh, okay. Thank you. I did love that you did shout out the entire crew at the end, though. So where are you and Derek stand today? I haven't spoken to Derek in years. Poor Derek. Damn, that was it.

You bodied him and watered him. walked away from the crime scene. Derek's family grew up next to, next door to my godmother's house. So we grew up together. Is he still in Cuse? But he used to always send shots. And he's like,

stop sending shots. Is he still in Syracuse? I have no idea. I have, I don't. Okay, because Maul and I were talking about going, you know, we talked about going up there to do something with Stovegaw. Stove guy.

Can we double, can we double up and get the Derek interview? Stove got in like Atlanta. Can we do it in this bedroom that you shot this in? with the same green lights. With the Harry Potter poster. I lost my Harry Potter poster, unfortunately.

But I'm telling you, that last, like, when you stopped rapping and just started talking, I used to listen to the Ray J. Breakfast Club rant sometimes, like, get my day going, like, to really make me feel motivated and, like, you know, confident. I think I'm going to switch my morning motivation to that last shit. You know what? Like, I'm going to wake up in the morning and when I'm brushing my teeth. Like, don't play with me. you see what I do Rory

All right I deserve you know what I deserve all of this I do not fuck with the internet There are other videos that eventually will pop up of me that will also Oh I went to the YouTube page You mean like Lay and Damaris dancing

But here's the thing Damaris I envy you If this was the embarrassing thing from my childhood I would feel so good about myself The amount of things that have come on the internet of my childhood, everything, are way more embarrassing than this.

I would champion this. It wasn't bad. This wasn't bad. It was just funny seeing you like that, rapping like that. But it's, you know, it's good to see that you was always about your business, was ready to step to the mic,

was ready to go at motherfuckers if they got out of the line. It's good to see that that energy was always still there because I still see it today. So I'm saying you kept it on brand. So good for you. Thank you so much. Do we have a contact at YouTube that I can get that picture down?

No, that's up there forever, baby. Where are you at? I'm in the studio. I'm in the studio. I'm doing a podcast right now. Get a fourth mic. And they can hear you. What podcast?

What's up, nigga? I'll pull up and talk my shit, nigga. Oh, what? Get the fourth mic. I want to pull up and I want to talk my shit. Who the podcast with? I was having a bad fucking day. Morning with some fuck shit.

Oh, never mind. I take it back. Man, fuck that, Nick, I'm going up. Teddy, this is me. I'm going up. I'm doing an auto car. Made that's out tonight.

Lambo trucks off tonight. They're pulling up. That's what happens with the baby mother car. Yes, yes. Okay, I'm doing it. All right. All right. Bye.

Bye. You just said you's on the way. You just said you're on the way. If you come and come on. Don't worry about it. Come on. You can see what you give. Let me see the championship in the den.

Come on. You're going to be on the podcast. They hear you. You're beat, I. I don't like the tone of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like that tone. Can this be the trailer?

Hey, yo, yo, yo, I'm a car. Yo, yo, if you come and, come on, man, I got to finish. Mel tell me if you, you cap, you cap, that's what you're doing. You caping. You caping. Well, you better hurry up, man. Look, look, listen, look, look, man. It's a whole crew of people here.

Are you coming to do this? He's more than welcome to come. Oh, my God. Man. Bye. You try to take you out. All right, bye. Bye, man, bye, man.

Come on. Bye. They're coughing with a different no-men. Oh yeah. We're gonna break the internet with this one. I'm ready. I don't want to be sent out. They come to me right now.

Yeah. Yeah, we're rolling. We didn't stop rolling. We have not stop rolling. Don't censor shit, don't stop rolling. Now the interview started, now that I'm here, niggas know what time it is. I'm gonna take my shoes off.

I'm here. Yeah, me too. I got-a-shoes off time. I'm gonna keep a real playing by it. With the Adidas sucks. But listen, this is what me nothing but a bunch of laughing emojis, a much of real shit, a much of real talk. All that.

Now to hear you start. All that shit, that corporate shit, Jettie been kicking all that. We didn't know that type of time. I'm fresh off tour. The only nigga who you know, check the facts. We ain't got to drop no fucking single to put 20,000 asses in no seats, nigga, me. Talk that talk. Ain't nobody do that.

I like that type of talk. Me, kiss, the bread hot, who else? Who else? Who else? I mean, rock groups, nigg. And I don't do rock music, you know that. Oh, you man kissed, dude. I was thinking Jada.

No. And that's the big homie. I'm talking to kiss, kiss, you know what I learned. I just bought you about, we were talking about the Rolex talk, all that shit. Yeah, that's family. You know what I'm saying? That's the homie. I'm talking about kissing niggas that paint their face.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blow up shit. Very where. You know what? Very where. Yeah. We're going to ask JD why. He know who I want to work with too.

He's scared to do it. He might not be legendary enough to pull it off. J.D. might not be legendary enough. Yeah. Need a bigger icon? Am I'm bigger than Jermaine? You? Absolutely.

I am. Are you big in Jemaine? Absolutely. In what capacity? All capacity. As an artist? Tell Jermaine are walking them all

with me together. Oh, no, as an artist. Popularity, for sure. But music, I'm not going to tell you. Oh, yeah. I'm like, wait, wait, what?

I ain't going to test that. I ain't going to test that on the music tip. But, you know, Snoop found me, though. You know what I mean? I was ready already. You know what I mean? Like, Jerry kind of got it easy.

He got it easy? Absolutely. That's like a nigga bringing me a cassero and it's made already. And I said, here you go. Eat. Like, I came to him already. He'll tell you, I came ready.

I've realized that a lust, having a lust issue, I was just telling people. You finally realized you got a lust issue? Having a lust issue will cost you. It will cost you so much money and energy. Like, if there's a beautiful girl around, I will spend so much more money and so much more energy.

Oh, you're a trick. and horny like go home baby i never knew you was a trick relax baby they a trick what you mean you'll spend someone that's that's that's trick lingo so now i'm not even i'm not even just talking about that yes i spend money on women right but it's not even just that it's more like like okay so if me you and rory go out and we're just going out as the fellas right because i'm the fellas to y'all and we go to a bar we have one or two drinks whatever if there is a bad bitch there you know what hey let's order another round we're having a ball let's order another round let's go here because you don't want to go home because it's a beautiful girl right there.

Nah, so you stay longer. Take advantage of her. That's not. That's what it sounds like. That is not true. Get her drunk and unsuspecting and she doesn't know that I want to lick that cat. Yeah.

That's what it sounds like. Another round. Another round. Keep them coming. No, it's just like more shots. You know how when you're having so funny how time flies when you're having fun. When you're having fun and it's like the cute girls around, you don't even notice how much you're drinking.

you don't notice how much you're spending like okay baby dia trick i also just want to like do please do like a quick 30 second reverse would you say alcohol is a drug i would drug yes Tylenol is a drug okay alcohol is okay she just said she doesn't understand how people could want to take drugs see a beautiful woman and want to fuck them well alcohol is not a drug it's a controlled substance thank you alcohol is essential nerve The government named it that because it's a legal drug. This means, oh, hold on, alcohol is a central nervous system depressant. This means that it is a drug that slows down brain activity.

It can change in mood behavior and self-control. It can cause problems with memory and thinking clearly. So this means if Baby D is buying more rounds for the women, then she is hoping that it changes their mood, their behavior, and that they lose self-control so she can go home and do what she pleases with. You are literally painting me as a writer. It's right then. Hey, yeah. Like, what the fuck?

The chat wouldn't lie. Oh, my bad, Ryan. I was reading something else. But no, for real, like, real talk, real shit. Like, didn't y'all notice, like, when y'all got your lust under control, like, that you saved, like, money, like, the amount of money you were spent. Yeah. Read your Bible. Read your Quran.

Read every history book. The fall of every single man in the empire is lust. All of it. The first lesson in the Bible, lust. Mm-hmm. It'll ruin everything. Every powerful man is not killed because of armies anymore. Just armies of horse.

Yeah. We can't really kill. Once you control that lust demon? You all right. You figured out 70% of life once you control that lust demon. Like when you know you're getting lusty and you're like, no, I ain't going out. I ain't going to hang out with this chick. Nah, I ain't doing it.

And then like you actually go through it and not going out. The next day you wake up, you feel like you're just glowing. You're like, nigga, I can do anything. I said no to the pussy I couldn't do anything like you can conquer the world I can do anything I can do anything

hell no hell hell I can do anything All you got to say no to the lust demon one time You look that lust demon right here in the face and you decide you're going to stay home and not go out you wake up the next day

Life is just different You just feel like yeah Like you can't control me You can't get me to just come outside and spend my money on you and just be a trick. I ain't no trick. Yeah. Fight that lust demon. A lot of you niggas is down bad for that lust demon.

You start adding up the money that you did save from last night? Oh my God. I got an extra $500 in my pocket now. For a night, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed. Fan, listen, in New York, you know how easy it is to spend $500 on a girl that really don't like you like that? It costs $50 an hour to breathe out here without meeting the girl. Stay note to that lust demon three days out the weekend. watch how much money you say. You up 1,500. You say no to the lust demon three times.

The only thing stopping y'all from getting a down payment on a house is horrid. It's the lust demon. 100%. The lust demon got y'all down bad. So I know what you mean, baby, D. Like, you see a beautiful woman. You're like, damn, I don't want this night thing. You know how much it costs to keep the night open? Shit, the night is expensive. Keep the night open? Yeah, we're going to keep going. Yeah, all right. Wait till you lay down and see that big statement in the morning. You just swiping. I ain't good. You down bad. You down

25. Take one night off and say less and you got a LLC. I promise you. Your dreams will start tomorrow. That's a lot of dudes don't know that. You down bad because the lust demon is up. Lust demon winning. 82 and O every season. Yeah. Can't say no to that lust demon. Fellows trust me.

Rory, I know you're not here, but I can hear you right now. Ma, why don't you just stop paying me with paying for your price for your bean? You boost mom. Don't you just get a phone. And you can stop paying the same price. You can keep the same number. Keep the same phone. the boost mobile is proven that you don't have to overpay for great wireless, unlock the savers with the $25 a month forever unlimited plan.

It's a permanent price with no contracts and no price hikes. Yes, Rory, I know I can keep my own phone and my number, but I save up to $600 a year compared to the major carriers. Stop overpaying and switch to a fair price at boostmobile.com today. Based on average annual single-line payment of AT&T, Verizon, and T-Mobile customers, compared to 12 months on the Boost Mobile Unlimited plan as of January 2026, For full offer details, visit boostmobile.com. Hey, I'm Hoda Kotby, host of the podcast, Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb.

Okay, if you know me, you know this. I'm always searching for inspiration, for support, and useful tools to help maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover all of that together. We're going to have these meaningful conversations with the world's most fascinating people, like when actress Olivia Munn shared how she overcame fierce health challenges that she never saw coming. I've gone through breast cancer and then helped my mother through breast cancer,

and that was more difficult. There's a lot of people who understand postpartner depression. I was not prepared for postpartum anxiety. Olympic champ Sean Johnson revealed why she had no choice but to be a gymnast. There was something about gymnastics that was intoxicating to me. It's given me a belief that we all have one of those treasures inside of us.

We just have to find it. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby on the IHeart Radio app, Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. My husband is currently on a vacation with his mistress and I'm confronting them. Tell me, Sophia, how did she even catch them? One Amazon shopping receipt. He accidentally sent her a photo of the kids' Christmas gifts with a delivery to another woman at the bottom.

He exposed himself? That's a rookie move. Couples massages, monogrammed bath robes, and lingerie he then-mowed her for. So she spent four weeks gathering evidence and taped a 10, page letter inside his luggage before he flew out. In his luggage, she came to play. And the second he landed, he blocked her. So she called the hotel room directly and got the mistress on the phone.

Ooh, she got the mistress live on the phone? That is a bold move. Let's see if it pays off. Then it gets worse. He took the mistress on the Bahamas honeymoon trip he had planned with his wife. And then the mistress tagged him on Facebook, outing the fair to her entire family. That's like a whole public confession. And spoiler, two years later, karma hits

some so hard he's calling his ex-wife in tears saying about the mistress, what a mistake that was. To find out what happened, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. My first guest is Harris Houghton, Shakira, Luke and Yerrin, Samira and Gracie. I'm so excited. On the bouncy bed. You have surprises? Many surprises. Welcome to Sweet 305.

The Google Chat comes to life. What a . It's like a way of saying like, oh, my friend, oh, my hermina. What a . Look, I've ever had I've ever been.

Except with my his e'h, my amante. Oof, yeah. Yeah, that's the novellanovela. You're the only person I know that loves a yellow starburst.

It's really, there's a man, man. There's someone that you'd like to collaborate with this person. This is sweet for your five. Listen to Sweet 305 with Lele Pons as part of my Cultura podcast network on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jake Brennan, and on the disgrace land podcast, I explore the wild lives of rock stars and unbelievable true crime stories from music history. These are the stories you haven't heard, the kind you'll end up telling someone else.

Like the time Paul McCartney spent in one of the world's most notorious prisons. Imagine that. You're Paul McCartney. It's 1980. You're an ex-beetal, and you're doing time in one of Japan's worst prisons right there alongside Yakuza gangsters and for a ridiculous charge. Or the bizarre crime Lady Gaga is accused of. Who is the artist Lady Gaga as being accused of doing the unthinkable to, after allegedly stealing her music in style to become famous? And what about that time, Blondie's Debbie Harry escaped a serial killer. The man who had given her that ride she barely escaped from was Ted Bundy.

Listen to Discrace Land on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I hate it here. I can't live like this. Come stop being a ho and just let me love you. Stop being a hoax. Crying, yo. I was like, I cannot get back out here.

But fuck it. I'm back on here now. What's up? See? Back outside. What I'm fine niggas. I'm trying to find niggas. I've been cuffed up too long.

Let me remind, Nickas, yeah, Cardi. That spoke to your soul, huh? It's going to speak to your soul, too. Me and Margo on speed dating and find some holes. Me and you. I'm down.

You down? For real? Would you go? Speed dating? Yeah. Okay. I'm going to find the ones with bad. I'm not looking for nobody at the speed day.

What's the speed day that has the bad bitches? Speed day and we have bad bitches. I don't know. I've never done sweet dating. But bad regular women, though. Like the Jake Cole fans. All right, hold on. Speed dating is like cuck dating to me.

How? Are you just watching the girl you like talk to 50 men in one second? It's not 50. It'd be like 12 and it's for like 60 seconds. And like imagine if you, because the girls move or the guys move? The girls move. No, the guys move. Okay, but you're still in the same rotation, right?

Like what if I don't even know more but he's ahead of me and like the whole time I'm trying to date. All I can hear is him making every girl laugh after I didn't make her laugh. You know how weird that must feel? That's why speed dating would be rough. Yeah, you can't. It's just so much going on. Yeah, it's a lot. That's a lot.

I mean, I'm down to go just to have fun with you. That'll be fun. And then the girl that doesn't, like the girl doesn't move, she can hear the other guy use the same lines one table over. Like, there's no winning in that entire thing. Yeah, see, I'm, but I would be a bad speed dater. Because if I'm hitting up with my funnies and she ain't laughing, like, look, she laughed.

I think she's the one. Like, yeah, she laughed. She thought I was great. three thought I was hilarious. Yeah, she thought I was great. Like, I don't know why you're not laughing, but whatever. And so do you exchange numbers? How does it work?

I think if you like them at the end, you like exchange. So you get 60 seconds to get your shit off. 60 seconds to get shit off. That's how people get murder. I'm coming in hot. Coming to what you're saying? Come on. Do it right now.

60 seconds. We start in now. Favorite position. Have you fucked on the first date before? How long did it last? Did you like it? Spitter swallow. Oh, my fucking.

Yeah, you got to get 60 seconds? We're only 10 seconds in I'm looking at the clock You got to go to it I'm not comfortable answering any of those questions Sir Why are you here? Because I'm trying to get in a relationship

I'm not just trying to fuck Okay so you're trying to get in a relationship What are you looking for? I'm looking for a guy that's like nice, sweet, honest At a speed date? Yeah Nobody's honest at a speed day

We got 60 seconds to lie Nobody's fucking at a speed date I fucked at a speed date I'm here every month Yeah You got to get your shit off. You got to get your shit off. You guys have 10 more seconds.

You got to get your shit off. I think you're a serial killer and I think I'm okay, but I did enjoy this time with you. You were funny. Switch. All right, bye. Here's the thing. Let's say there's 20 girls there.

Mall is definitely just by sheer numbers. He's fucking three girls from there based off that approach. Oh my. For sure. God. I didn't say all, but there's definitely three girls that are definitely into that exact. Short knocking three shots down.

If you come with that energy, I go three for 12, but I'm not leaving here with anything in my book bag. Three is crazy. Yeah, three for 12. I went three for 12 tonight, coach. Put me in.

All right, but that probably left more of an impression, even if it was a creepy one or hypersexual one to... Everybody will be talking about me. Let's start the clock. Now, what's your name? Demaris. Oh, like, what do you want to see? What type of stuff do you like to do?

I like to read. I like to dance. I like to cook. I like to entertain my friends. I'm a family-oriented person. How about you? Okay. I like outdoor sports and, you know, like I'm really into reading as well.

Like, what's your last? I'm like, where's your last? He's gay. Like, what is leaving a lasting impression? What my bullshit or what he did? Yeah. Because he's, you're going to wonder about him after speed dating is over. There's a middle ground, though.

There's a middle ground. Like, that dude, you're going to look him up on. online to like really find that guy to figure out what was wrong. You're gonna be mad you didn't take my number. No. I'm coming in hot. What time is it? We starting at 36.

Hold on. So why are you here? Because you're way too fine to be single. Talking to me or the guy next to me. There's too many people going. Sir, can we start the clock again? I don't know what he's talking to.

You're talking to me or him. I'm talking to you. See you got, you got nervous? He got nervous. All right. on me? All right. Okay. Three, two, one, go. Okay. So you way too fine to be single. What's doing here? You probably said that to the last three guys. Does it matter? Yo, she said the same thing to you? Does it matter if I'm saying it to you right now? What's up? But you said it

one minute to go to somebody else. It doesn't matter. Why do you keep worrying about him when I'm right here? How are you? Because we sit and thaw to thai. What's your name? My name is Rory. Do you have any kids? Yes. Can you show me a picture ever? Fuck no. Do you want any more? Not with somebody that says the same thing the last three guys Why didn't you come to speed dating if you're so worried about What the other men are you here for him No I'm not

We're just having to be sitting next to each other He's saying the same thing He's too nervous He's shaking I got him shaking He blushing his shit like come on now Yes I would like kids eventually You would Okay so are you interested in like casual dating

Are you looking for something serious Like what prompted you to come down? I'm looking for casual into serious Okay. Rent to buy. 917. 392. Yeah.

Wait, that got the number? Yo, man. You didn't think my rent to buy line was fire? That guy, he's a serial killer. You can't get, nah, see, nah, see, that's why I can't go speed in because I'll yell at. But, you, he got your number?

Nah. Come on, yo. What's funny is I would, I'd probably call her. No, you wouldn't. That's not the girl you want. Why is it? What the fuck?

Why is that not the girl you want? No, you don't want that girl. Why? What's wrong with me, Maul? No, nothing is not you. Nothing is wrong with you. I'm just saying you don't want the girl that. A conversation like that, you don't want her number.

Oh, I do, because that's hilarious. See, he's weird. Why? You don't like smooth women more? That was a smooth. That was just funny. Yeah, that was a smooth. Because you made it awkward.

I know. I was writhing you up and you kept being weird. I was smooth. Saying you too fine to be here is not risen it up. You too fine to be here. I ain't never seen. you around here before. Yeah, where you come from? Because I really would have met that. If we were being serious, I would have met that with,

well, why are you here? You don't think highly of yourself? Nah, that's what you got to say because I knew you was here. See? I knew you was here. See? Me and you don't have risk. I don't even, I don't even, I don't even, I don't even do this. I have reality. I have reality. I like that. That rich shit is cute at the party. And don't, I can do that for fun, for funsies at the party. I've never seen you give Riz When you be talking to bitches You be like you just like you

They love you because you're like awkward funny Peach You've seen me in action Pete Pitch Remarkable Remarkable Remarkable

Peege don't piss me off Pete be in the back like he's so good man He's just so good How does he do it? Look at him man Look at him go Man, I was using that. I feel like we've known each other

the line before it was mainstream. Yeah. You was on the ground. I feel like we've known each other forever. You was indie with that line. It's like it's definitely. Yeah. I was fat beats at the end.

It's not, I don't know. I always thought that was weird. The moment you say I can't, like, oh, I don't bring my bitch around my friends. Why? I mean, it depends on the type of I'm on your side with that.

I'm on serious niggins. All of my friends. Any girl I have, I bring around my friends. Yeah, you can. It depends on a nigger. Because there's certain niggas that's too serious. You don't need to be around, a friend.

Nigger don't got no friends. And they got a nigga, he worked on. They got certain shit. You don't need to be around it. But it depends what type of niggas. Yeah, I don't know. Because you don't need to know all of my friends. I do.

Fuck you talking about. These niggas is killers and for real niggas. You don't need it. That's a different. I get it. I get it. I get that. I get that.

I get that. She don't play like that. It ain't matter. It ain't matter who to brought it. You don't need to know all of these niggins. You don't need to know all of my friends. My name's going to be outside. I know niggas that with the jet, nigga did.

Nick had 50 years. He gave it back after 20. Fuck you. What you need to know him for? I don't need to know him, but what the fuck you're around him for? And if you hang it around that. Because that's my name. And he gave me suits.

So when you're in high night, I get him. So you don't want to. So this thing is supposed to, if you and I get married and that's your man, because I know we did that shit that he went to jail for him. He gave a back by my mistake. So you wouldn't invite him to your wedding? Yeah, that's different. So why wouldn't I be able to meet him?

I ain't say you couldn't meet him. That's what I'm talking about. You think I want to be friends with your friends? No. Yeah, that's kind of how you that you made a scene. No, that's not what I'm saying. I don't want to be friends with your friends. But if you tell me, I can come around your friends.

Harry, that's major. We all. Okay. Cool. I need Some quick introduction she is Yeah I need to be

I'm saying I need to be In the long time He's not You're not You're shit with niggas A niggas A niggas

bitches Huh Your man your boyfriend Fuck all his man's bitches He owes him So you guys Take your pretty ass home Yeah I know

I know Your nigga like Fucking his man's bitches I know You got to stay your ass home That's white Niggis do that Niggas do that

That's corny though I know Mad niggas They fuck they I ain't go a lot. Like, it's too many bitches to fuck your man, bro, son. Niggas is not me.

Yeah, that's crazy. Like, if you fuck, I'm saying, like, after the nigga get done, like, if this is main joint, even when he finished with it, you can't, I don't really want to, because you were sis. Yeah.

Like, it was a time you were sis, so I don't want to fuck you. Mm-hmm. You understand what I'm saying? I mean, that's cool to try to say not on camera. That's different. But what if I'm just your bitch that you fuck with? No, no, it's not.

But, say, what if she's throwing it at you? He's funny. What is she throwing it at you? I don't got to catch that. You was all right. Yeah. But that's not, that big is,

no, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, you know, that's not a liar. Like, nobody's trying to fuck their man's girl. Biggs, don't, like bitches and they do. And then when the girl gets fucked,

it's sad. And he shouldn't have been pretending. No, that bitch, I don't care about that bitch. That's my man. What did he told me your farts really stink. Man, like, you all said, this bitch fart. Well, that bitch got a stitch,

but that pussy stink. Yeah, a pussy stink. But it's good. Yeah, what if he told me that already? No, I'm gonna be honest. Like, your word of mama, if I don't eat a pussy, he's gonna say taste a little, it's a little too zingy. Like, I don't mind zingy, it's a little too zingy.

What if you already told me that? You thought it at me, I already know that's a little too zing. I'm not like, I don't know that. I'm gonna test it out for myself. You're trying to test it. See if my man was buggy. Fuck out of here. Fuck out of here.

Yeah. A different taste bugs. That's a fact. We don't know. That's a fact. I gotta know. I gotta know. I gotta.

So niggas sit around and they say shit like that about they bitch to they means. After he ain't fucking with her no more. Yeah. Oh, he hurt. Yeah, he bitter. I do it too.

Yeah. That's what you think? That he bitter? Yeah, because what you mean? I do it too. We don't have to be going to fuck with that. He said, y'all ain't used to eat the pussy like that. That's what I'm saying.

I talk my shit about my nigga while I'm with him. Like, it don't take me to leave the nigga. I talk about my nigga. The fuck? Why? Baby the homo. Hold on. What up?

Why? What's like, what you're going to? What's like, what I said? I'm saying, yeah, old dick-dye bitch. I think-dy bitch. Ass sit up fat of his old grandmas. You could sit a cup on that bitch. I'm not arguing with a dick who ass fat in mind.

Fuck. Not doing that. Not doing that. Fuckin what a thick nigger is crazy. Shit. Oh my God, man. You look like you could go in there and really cook some shit. Oh, my God.

Niggas is in the gym doing squats right now trying to get these things. trying to get these shit, now I'm saying. Nah, I'm like a faddle ass. I'm not gonna lie. I love the mcgrat. Fat-o-ass. She'd be like, I feel like that thing I got the yams.

That shit is fat. That's too mature for me. Listen, listen. It's the reason why niggas is doing all them squats and shit like that. Trying to get their shit together. His bros that like that. No, your flabby asses is not.

I don't care when anybody say that is not sexy. When I watch you walk away and your ass is shaking from flab, not even from like, you know, it's just flab at the bottom, just moving. I'm trying to grab the rag for you. You don't need to. Lay down. Lay down.

Now I have crazy, most not clarity. Watch you to get a bad. I need to see a nice ass crack. No, I need to see the last shit. Yeah. But my nigga bend down against paper. Every time I see, I had to see regular niggas ass cracks out. Not skinny niggas, but.

I'm saying, I probably didn't like got caught slipping like that before. I don't like you got caught. Yeah, you do. Ash crack, Ash, bad, assy. That's bad, but we can't see y'all the same after.

What you mean? Once I see your ass, Ashy is over. You kind of like, I don't know. I feel like, niggas is just crazy. I don't know.

So if you're sitting in the passage of see, right? And you hop out and I see your ass. No matter. You see you're a fucking driving. Don't get a fuck. You ever ate ass? Not from a woman.

You said we could, we can edit shit out. Nah, don't stay. We can edit shit. Yeah, no, because I don't. I don't even like how the energy you have. Edit free episode.

I mean, I made some ass before. You cannot look at my ass and say, no, I ain't fucking with you after you ate my ass. Hello? You let that. That's what I'm saying. A niggas in a blast. I'm going to play that.

But if you get out and I do that to me. And I see your ass like a fuck you. Everything can't. I'll land. I'll land. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yeah. I go. I go lamb bikini dogs. Because once you do that, if you let them. I turn into it. Yo, I turn it to a transform. You heard. I'm an optimist prime.

What you're going now on the nitty. Oh, now you be trying to encourage you. You're not like that. I didn't let you know I don't like that. I screwed up. I screwed up like, oh, I like stay there. Like, yeah, right there. Like, say, the head, the head.

Like, that's what I do. The head, the head, the head. You know, I was, you can't even feel like. Get no balls. You don't got to worry about no balls. You're trying to touch the balls. That's for y'all. That's what y'all.

That's what. Bro, if you, I ain't gonna lie, if you let a bitch lick the gooch, then you, you play. The gooch is definitely too close. That's, that's emergency purposes. No, no, no. No, it ain't. That's a regular too.

Gouch, you're trying to do some shit, I feel like, no, I don't know that. That's emergency purposes only. Ma, do you tell girls from the beginning that you like your ass, or you just let them discover that? No, I never tell them nothing. They probably know it. They probably heard of the table. We spoke about this.

I said, yo, I don't know what it is. Girls and more women now are down. We're doing it. I was arguing with my home girl yesterday about her eating his asses. I'm like, stop. All my home, a lot of my home girls, he ass. That's what I'm saying. I don't, yo, I've never asked for.

Let's clarify some shit right this bitch. I've never requested it. I've never requested it. I've never requested it. Okay, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be honest. Like, all right. Have I done it? Yes.

But I have to have a like, her. You got to be clean. You got to know the hygiene. I got to know the man. It got to be, you got to be clean. You got to be obviously saying he's into something that we got to have a relationship has had to build. for us to get there.

You asked you or you did it. You tried. You just went there. No, no. If you ask me, automatic, I'm going to think you gay and then I'm not going to want to do it. You get what I'm saying?

So you tried on the nigger. You try your nigger. You try your nigger. What the fuck? You get your head smacked. No, no, no, no. Yes. No, I won't.

Not me. Maybe you're a woman and she just doing shit. But I have a way of doing shit. You know, that's what I'm saying, right? I'm never going to like try to violate. Now I'm saying your ass. So like, a nigga try to, like,

I'm not trying to, like, throw the ass and all like, you throw an elbow at a nigga and all that. That's understandable. Like, the fuck is you doing? Right, right, right. Like, that's what I'm saying. Like, you try to lick in the guy and they go,

how fucking you do it? Like, but I would never just do it like that. I start watching, I start watching, that's it. That's all that matter. I go out of my side. That's on the way. Ma.

You're going to do it. What? Bigger boss and he'll start watching 48. First 48 like this. Like, what? He'll turn off or shit. You find a pretty bitch licking on you. like, man, go ahead, shoddy.

I'm not stopping. Nothing but traffic. More. Nah. I fuck with it more, though. I hate a fine-ass, nigga. But no, for real, for real, for me, awesome real shit. Maud doesn't stop at a red light.

It's not every man. Like, if I deal with him, his whole bob, his whole aura, everything about him, like, if he would let me do something like that to him, I would be turned off immediate. You know what I'm saying? Let you look his ass? Yeah, like, because that's not his,

that's not the or he gave me. Okay. That's not his bop. That's nothing like this type of husband. Like a street nigga only, like a street nigga ain't supposed to get his ass ain't, right? It don't match. Street nigga not supposed to get his ass ain't?

I just don't know how to explain. There's some super dominant men, like men who are just dominant in every aspect of their life. You even let me get it. It's not that they're not supposed to. It's not supposed to. It will go against what they show. Can I go through?

Can I give you this? Exactly. Like, bitches got long hair. I got no hair. Bitsch's got nice nails. My shit is ugly. Bitch's skin is smooth. My shit is ashy.

Rough. Their hands is. I'm not. opposite of a bitch, the exact, I don't want, like, bitches like they ass ain't. I watch them squirm. I like, like, I like seeing a bitch squirm trying to get away from that. I might have did that before, you know what I'm saying?

I might have did that before. It's all right. You supposed to eat a bitch ass. I'm saying, I might have did that before. What? No, y'all. You said no. That's game too.

You don't want to eat no ass, nigga? If you let me round your face, you're eating my ass. Get on top. Yeah. I don't you little for that. I don't be playing that shit. Oh, what? Like, bitcher like bin Dover, I'll bust you down and all that by your lady.

How long was you locked up? Sex is boring. A long time. I don't know what's boring. Yours. You said you just, you don't get into that. I can't ride your face to my ass on touch your nose. Oh, what are you doing?

Legs way up here. Oh, what are you doing? No. Come back. No. You need to do a smoke like perfume. You fuck the niggies that's on honey packs. The little sweet packs.

I dad don't. I dad don't. I don't fuck with athletes. Ecstasy bears. My nests. I think it's be athletic. Bitch, if you smell like... My thing is woke up at 6.30 in the morning to go to the facility.

I'm just saying if a bitch smell like perfume, I am ready to go. Yeah, you're going. Right. I did... Oh, what he is? Yeah, my shit be leaking. Yeah. Oh, you know.

You're talking about. That's two-a-old. My shit be leaking. I told you, I asked you. The leg right here, man, shining. She's leaking. You're talking about, you're this. I got egg whites all over this.

We got 22. Honey, honey, that's too fucking, fucking. No, it's not. I see because I don't want to me. Fucking, fuck you. I don't want that. I'm not that, honey. Yeah, I'm leak.

But I want you to do like no hainy action. I'm going on that. He's my own. That's my shit. He's not. He's like hyny action. You're a heinny con a nigga. That's my new shit.

Somebody got caught with some drugs underneath their toupee. In Colombia, there was a drug. dealer went right. What's the version of TSA for Columbia? TSA. CSA. It's everywhere. It's TSA. It's TSA everywhere, but it's not. It's not. No, it's not. No way. Well, security. TSA has to have America at the end. CTA. CTA. CTA. CCA. All right, so he went through Columbia Aviation authority. And they, how I even saw this clip, I thought initially they were cutting somebody's like top of their head off when I saw Columbia drug shit.

And I scrolled past. I was like, I don't want to see anyone get their brains fucking taken out. Kept scrolling, saw a different angle of it. And they were cutting his two pay off where he had a bunch of coke under his wig and got caught. Somebody snitched. It's a rat. That's one of the greatest hiding places ever.

No, they check my wig when I'm going through TSA, so. Did I ask? Yeah, I've definitely had my wig check, my weave check for sure. Wait, how do they do that? They go in there with like a little stick and they poke around.

Or they'll pat your head down, yeah. All right, now I'm adding up in my head why I keep asking more why he wears a hat with the best hair line of all time. This is about a toupee the entire time. Me? You're bald. With some drugs.

I'm walking around with a kilo. You've been a mule. from here to your crib the entire time. I didn't move this brick yet. That's what you're trying to say. I didn't move this work yet. This entire time,

I was like, yo, Maul has the greatest hair I've ever seen and he hides it constantly. That's hilarious. Somebody rat it on me, man,

fuck that. They just pat his head down. It must be scary times that you have to go the toupee route, no? No, you got to get creative. You got to get creative.

Go, like, I don't know, a boat. I mean, I ain't going to lie. trying to transport Coke and Colombia this point is pointless. I mean, they know all, they've seen it all. They know all the tricks,

all the fucking hiding spots. At this point, send that shit in the mail and hope it lands. That's why I'm curious how even drugs are moved now. Yeah, yeah. And the toupee is crazy. How does the Lower East Side continue to get Coke if there's not Poppy Fields in New York? It's not Poppy. Oh, that's the bagels. That's my heroin. He's about heroin. I don't know drugs. Coca plant The cocoa leaf Yes

Well heroin to It's the same thing Now at this point They just merged the drugs It's all fentanyl I really thought they were cutting Somebody's head off Then I started to see the toupee

Compared to the skin of him And now I see why he was easily Yeah he was like listen That toupee didn't match anything Yeah that texture That color that that hair Look like a rug It was like come on man

You look suspicious You look suspicious And then he started crying What do you do at that point when they start cutting off your wig. Oh, you know what he started doing. Snitchin? Absolutely.

I'm not moving it for. This is what's the name's work. You know what's great. Allegedly, you know what cocaine is. Is that worth that? Trying to go through TSA with that amount of Coke? I mean, if he's going every weekend. Okay.

That's probably how they caught him. Taking a quick trip somewhere like, you know. Sir, this is too many weddings. Yeah. Too many family reunions. How much family you got? That's rough. Well, we had an idea right before we were recorded

that we were going to write Push a T bars before he could about this entire topic. Like, did they stop? That's why the clips album didn't come out because this happened and he was like, wait. We have to redo the whole album? We got to do the whole album over now.

Because even like back in the Twitter days when shit would happen, there would be the, what would be the fad bar to this current event. And I wanted to try that. You didn't want to write nothing because you scared.

It's cool. I don't rap. You know that. I mean, according to you, you won the Ritz Challenge. Was that not rap? That was more poetry. Mm. Well, it's Poetry, too.

It's Push not like Coke poetry? It's Coke poetry for sure. Okay. Mm-hmm. All right. I'll give you five minutes. No, I'm cool. Well, me and Rory took 15.

I'm ready. How many bars you wrote? You go first. No, I didn't say mine out loud. Copy paste. I'm crying. Copy and pasteures and put it on the dock so that Josh can have it so we can pull it up on the screen while you're reading.

or why you're rapping. And then pull up the drug dealer's anonymous. Wait, hold on. I wrote mine to push a tea cadence when he was on flex doing a cappella. I didn't write to a push-a-tie beat. I didn't write to anything, but I just know how to rap like push-a-tee because I listen to push-a-tree.

So I know if you pull up a push-a-tree, I would be able to wrap. It's all the same pocket. No, it's not all the same pocket. Although that's what you're saying, my bad. No, but. Every push-a-tie beat is the same, right? That's what she's saying. No, that's not.

Why you didn't pick them in our beat contest then? She did. She had, what's the name of the other? You got to push clips beat, right? I was going to do grinding, but I didn't. Oh, you had a bunch of Neptunes. That's why I thought it was a Clips beat. Yeah, copy and paste shirts, put it on the dock so that Josh.

Oh, I sent it to Josh. Now, but see, mine got entendras and shit. Now, scroll down so you don't see mine. Scroll down, Josh. Thank you. I don't want him seeing my shit. You know, I'm going to bite her shit off the gate? Yeah, yeah, that's what she said.

I got mine right here. Nah, she's trying to say you take you steal bars. No, you got to go first since, uh... Nah, you go first. I went first last time for the Ritz Challenge. Talk your shit, baby, D. Can I pee at least? He got to go pee.

He's going to the right ball bars. No, I'll leave my phone. I will leave my phone. He got to pee pee. He got to pee before you wrap. No, I've had to piss since I played... Since I played the Janet record. Yo, he got a pee before he rap.

Yo, that's crazy. He's been holding in a piss. All right, go ahead. I'll leave my phone right there. I sent him the first only Okay Now don't He'll change it

Leave your phone Go to the bathroom Ma'all Let's keep potting Fuck him He gotta go pee And we got to pee And we got a pee

So you got your bars ready Yeah I got my bars ready How many bars you wrote? I got a count I think it's like Eight Ah The fuck

Ma Ma I looked over here She had a whole Chorus and a bridge I thought we were doing like four, you know, like four bars, something like. She has been writing for weeks. I got like a 12.

You just came up to me. It's like, yo, you want to do this? I'm like, all, fuck it. I did it. What Roy doesn't like is that like, even though he's like the artist's friend, like, if you give me a challenge to write, I'm going to bust it out in 2.5 seconds. Well, we've actually heard you rap before. So we know that this is what you do.

This is your, this is what you've been waiting on your whole life, this moment right here. To get your shit off. Listen. You wait your whole life for this moment. That's my whole life. But I really do like, I really used to rap for real. Baby, you got to play a fucking a song, actual song you did, though. I was on a, so I used to be in a...

You recorded a song before? I used to be in a Christian rap group, yeah. A Christian rap group? Yeah. Why are we just hearing about this? It's called Hardest Nails, and I know that one day... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute, wait a minute, slow down. We're going too fast.

You was in a Christian rap group. Yeah. And the name y'all landed off for the group. was hard as nails? Well, that's because that was the name of the ministry. It was hard as nails ministry. Yeah. Hard as nails ministry.

We were the Coolidge kids. And yeah, I can't find the video though. Why would you choose that name? Why would they choose that name? I was, it was being led by adult people. And I was like,

I want to say like 11. I was young. Yeah, they should have, you can't say hard as nails and we're a Christian rap group. It's like, what? He died for our sins. Yeah, that's what is me.

Hard as. nails yeah no we don't know that's not what we do i can't find that video nobody is paying homage to marlute the king by calling themselves the speeding bullets like what we're talking about like you don't do that hard as nails yeah i'm trying to see if i can find yeah y'all are crazy i wonder if i could find it on youtube um but yeah i was in a christian rap group i might be able to find um the song Yeah. What a Z. Yeah, but that's, he's different.

That's not us. I can't find it. There was a, it was like a music video. It was everything. Yeah. Yeah. And you ain't rap? Maris was in a Christian rap group.

I think the verse was, I think the verse was, just updating you on. I think it was I rep Christ because I'm hard as nails. I'm not doing this just for the record cells. This is Maris on the mic. Y'all know how I spit. And if you ain't rapping Christ, You need to sit better yet stand up because you need this message.

I would say, no, y'all was really pushing the Christian rap thing. I'm sorry, go ahead. I lost my place. I don't even remember. This is Marish. If you want to, you need to sit. I said it was this is Maris on the mic. Y'all know how I spit.

And if you ain't reping Christ, do you need to sit better yet stand up because you need this message is better than doing drugs talking about sex and something. It was something. I lost a friend over that. Sex? No. Christian rap? Christian rap.

You on Lucray not cool no more? No, no. No, that's what I was growing up. Oh, oh, oh. No, it's cool. One of our friends, we didn't know was, like, that religious, because we didn't, we didn't hang out with him, like, on the weekends. And he showed us a video in high school of his Christian rap group,

and his name was Disciple Jeff. All right, man. And then we started clowning him and called him Disciple Jeff, like, in the hallways and everything. And then he stopped. Away from the studio? Like, we stopped, he stopped being friends with us. That was his rap name?

Disciple. His name was Jeff. Jeff, but he was Discipled Jeff on the mic. And y'all started calling him Discipled Jeff and he didn't like that? Yeah, I mean, we were making fun of him. I'm not proud of it. But yeah, he showed us like his video like, yo, yeah, check me out. And he showed us a video of him at church with his rap group of him on the mic.

Oh, but he didn't tell you he didn't have a rap. No, he said his name in the rap. I'm disciple Jeff. I don't remember the rest of the bars. And then we just kept called. So how he get mad if he said he was disciple Jeff? and then y'all called him. Because we weren't saying

they were making fun of him. It was a condescending way. Yeah, but I can understand if he played that video for them and he didn't have a rap name. He did in confidence to his friends thinking we were going to say something nice because he thought we were his friends

and we cloned him instead. I totally understand why he stopped being friends with us. Y'all was kids. Yeah, we were children. He got mad because y'all was being kids. Yeah. Oh my God. Discipled Jeff, wherever you are.

Hopefully you're doing well in life. Yo. Rory, please do your back. Nobody could say they disciple Jeff in front of me when I'm 15 and not think it's gonna... They can't say it to me now and I'm not gonna be like, I'll introduce you to my friends and disciple Jeff. Hey, I met disciple Jeff.

Like, yeah, that's my, that's the homie. And granted, I was going to church at that time, too, a different church, but I was like, you're not a disciple either. Yo. You can't just say you a disciple. You don't know why he was. You can say you a DJ, you know how to be a DJ? Fucking, why not?

I'm a disciple. Fair. Yeah. Um, what's up? You scared? I ain't pissed. I ain't pissed. I ain't pissed.

I had to go pee. Hmm. I don't need the screen. No, it's supposed to, the listeners have to see it. So put it back up there. Oh, that's cool. They could even see my entendres in there. Down.

I didn't even rehearse this, though. That's why I asked you to put the... I mean, I guess we could keep this. Remember what I said to find the... This sounds like push-a-tee. No, I smoked this. I just don't think I'm going to deliver it well. Okay.

But, Pete, you have to cut the clip up well to give context of what we're talking about. You sure you don't want to beat? Nah, no, because I was thinking the flex freestyle When he was sitting there in the suit with Connoyette Go ahead Virgin Air couldn't spot my disguise Nested and weaving birds over friendly skies

Hold on hold on I don't know if I like your I don't know if I like you trying to rap black Well I don't know if I like that I was that was trying to do push Yeah but I don't know if I like this This probably was a bad idea This is almost like blackface right now This is black voice.

I don't like black voice. They're going to find this on my Facebook from 2006. This is black voice. I don't know if I like this, yo. No, because he tried to sound like pushman. That's so funny. Oh, my God. All right, go ahead.

All right, but first of all, you ain't catch the first bar. Virgin Air. Okay. Only Demaris would catch that. I got it. No, I called Virgin hair. Yeah. Virgin Air couldn't catch my.

See, I don't even know my bars. I should have rehearsed. Yeah, you should have. Even push walks around the studio and tries to get it before he getting the boo. But, you know, it's me, though. Push could never. Stop laughing.

I'm just waiting for you to rat. Just rat, bro. Virgin Air couldn't spot my disguise. Nested weaving birds over friendly skies. Keep your mind clear is what I advise. Because weighted thoughts is where your problems lie. Waded thoughts. I see you.

Always pre-check on those cosmetic. That sounds like Tupac. That's what I'm saying. Black voice is crazy. Like, you go crazy with black voice. Now you're trying to sound like, all of us. No, but push sometimes has a pot cadence if you take the beat away.

Yeah, no, for sure, for sure. Yo, Peach, cut me back in on the, yuck, keep all this though for Patreon. Always pre-check those cosmetic and make sure only one thing is synthetic. That's where they drop the if you know you know beat. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, it will go out like right after that. Oh, yeah, got you.

Okay. No, but let me break down the whole beat. Like, all right, virgin air, you're aware of it, but virgin hair too is we weave. Like, come on. Disguise, he had a toupee on. Nested. Like you, birds do a nest, they weave it in. Weaving birds, do you know what a weaving bird is?

What a weaving bird is? Yeah, what's not weaving, it's a weave bird. They actually make nests. And birds, you're familiar with, cocaine. frontly skies. Always. Keep your mind clear. Clear like the air, okay.

Clear of the airport. It's what I advise. Because weighted thoughts, he has the coke on his mind is where the problem lied. And then, ugh. Ugh. Yeah. And then pre-check, cosmetics, because someone is installing a toupee on you. And it's actually synthetic hair, but now the drugs are synthetic.

This might be in 15 minutes the greatest thing I've ever written. I actually walked to the bathroom proud of myself I'm proud of you too you did a good job proud of you I'm a text just to push see what he thinks he can keep the publishing now text in mine so he can say well which one sound more like you

I wish I had a better delivery and I took some time to like rehearse it because I could have smoked this I got it I feel what you I feel what you could have took it though I see what you did I got I respect it up so I look ill No. All right, baby.

You want me to spin it again? No, no, no, we got it. We got it. We got it. We got it. We got it. All right. Only thing we have in common, we bleed.

See, she's doing black voice too. No, I'm doing black voice. She's a black woman, though. She's a black woman. Oh, my God. Yo. All right, tell you something after us. Go ahead.

Only thing we have in common, we bleed. These birds basket weave like a pelicans thing. Hidden message hieroglyphic since the feds want to check it. Killed your best. despite his efforts, I climb out from the records. Still moving keys like a janitor, arrogant. Hey, I'm retainer, can't trust an amateur. She's eager.

She just had to learn that status. She just had to earn hiding bricks under wigs like we did a bad perm. Virgin hair couldn't spot my disguise. Nested weaving birds over friendly skies. Keep your mind clear is what I advise. Because weighted thoughts is where your problems lie. Always pre-checked that cosmetic. And make sure it's not the only thing.

that's synthetic. Yo, baby Dee smoked you, dog. What? She smoked you. How? We could go through my lines too. Wait, how did she smoke me? This is the one time I actually believe I'd smoked her.

Because she threw arrogant tay in there that's known for the weave instillations. She stole a bar from push. Still moving keys like janitor. He said that? I didn't know he said that. I didn't know he said that. Every Coke dealer on Earth has said that. My homie around the block that's 70 has said that.

She smoked her. How? These birds basket weave like a pelicans thing. Come on now. Come on now. Basket weave is a type of hair weave. These birds, it's a pelicans thing. Like the basket weave, the weaving in the like in the basketball court,

but it's a New Orleans pelicans. Guys, guys. Guys, guys. Come on. No, no, no, no. I'm with you. I'm not even going to hate. But let's get some order in here.

The topic was homie in Columbia. that moved Coke through his head. Birds? The birds of Coke basket weave under your weave like a pelicans thing like New York, the fucking New Orleans Pelicans, birds which basket weave when they playing ball. New Orleans has nothing to do with this topic whatsoever.

You giving great Coke bars. I said Virgin Air hair, the same entendre. Virgin Air, which is the best weave, virgin air, which is also. something that goes international. Anytime we go international, what we fly? Virgin Air. Couldn't spot my disguise. Nested, weaving birds over friendly

skies is ten times better than everything that's on there. It's not. It's not. To the topic? Yo, she smoked you, though. It's okay. Oh, yeah, I can go back up to that. Heroglyphics is crazy. Bushnots. All right, cannabis may say that.

Hidden message. I did a push thing. I did a push thing. Hidden message, heroglyphics since the feds want to check it. Push would unclip his mic if he said, oh, I just wrote down harroglyphics. He would kill himself. Hero glyphics. Anyway.

Only Drusky's new skit says that. And then I threw in, obviously, because I'm acting as push, every single push song, he got to somehow diss somebody. So I had to diss, kill your best. Despite his efforts, I climb out from the wreckage. That's a diss to whoever fuck he's dissing this. Because he got a dissing somebody on every song. Still moving keys like a janitor, arrogant,

Tay on retainer can't trust an amateur. She's either. She just had to learn. That status she had to earn. So the bitch that I sent to the airport with the wigs underneath the thing, it don't matter, the shit still hit. The point of the exercise was if push was that person.

I ain't gonna lie, still moving keys like a janitor, arrogant, tay on retainer, can't trust an amateur? Josh, can you Google every rapper That said moving keys like a janitor. I smoked you, though. You might as well rhyme my girl in world. But she's the new rapper that used it. She's the latest rapper to use that.

Because I'm at the age where I'm not going somewhere I can't sit down. So there are parties that exist. Demaris, you are 30. I'm 31, but I'm not going somewhere. I can't sit down. I kind of felt that way at like 25. I'm not going to where if I can't sit down. Yeah.

You just standing and roaming? Like, nah. Unless it's. We need, I'm not saying a section of thing. We just need, this is where our shit is. Yeah. Like, everyone can roam for a second, but we know where home is. It's in this corner of the party.

Unless it's out, unless it's somewhere outside. Like, if it's outside, like the outside parties, like how Dulzay used to be and shit like that, when it's outside, then I have no problem with that. But when we crowd it in and there's people bumping past me and I don't have nowhere to sit and I got high-ass heels on and my fucking feet hurt. I've gotten past that age. I can't do that shit.

I need some more to sit down. Or I won't be there. You know what's next after that, Baby D, when you get to that point. What? Kids. It's true. I'm just saying that's just the natural order. Oh, is that the natural order?

You've been there for 20 years. You ain't got no kids. Yeah, but it's different for me. He can pull out. You can't. Yeah. See the sides? I could pull up the plan B.

I can pull up. Baby D said, I can pull up a plan B. Hey, I can Uber to the Blue Factory for sure. Hey, Baby D, they Uber eats in the plan B. You know. Tell me, I know. Yop. They're not really good.

Baby D. Don't you need I? No, no, no. Hold on, hold on. Hold on. We're not going to let baby. Don't you need ID? We're not going to let baby D.

They ain't even finish in Uber. East outside. Answer the door. Yo, baby, order in the plan me while he's still hitting it. It's crazy. Bugging the fuck out. We had dinner.

We had dinner to plan B on his way to the crib. Yo, that is. You got to get the whole 24 out. Yo, that is craziness, yo. You know how sometimes Uber East driver's like go through your fries and shit. What if you found your plan B? Open? open.

Yeah, nah, family. I'm gonna need that. Like, what you don't? No, but he,

like sealed it so you didn't realize till way later. He didn't prove my shit to avil, I'll be pissed. Yo, that is a

loud thing. Yes, man. Ordering to plan B while y'all at dinner is crazy work. Or it's just innovation. I didn't think you, because don't you need an ID?

No. You could just go to Walgreens and get the plan B. Yeah. They got that shit next to deodorant. But that's locked up now too. Everything's locked up.

Push the little button. They take 30 minutes. They take 30 minutes. But you don't need ID. You just got somebody just got to come open a little. How is thought you needed to like show some for them? Nah, man. That's old shit.

That's only if you're getting it through your insurance. Yeah, but if you paying, if you paying cash money. If you're waiting on your insurance, that baby's coming. Yeah, that's a fact. We ain't waiting on insurance. We don't get this baby out of here tonight. That baby is out of here tonight. That's a fact.

Fuck that insurance. Does Plan B really fuck with your stomach? You don't know because you never take one. But. hypothetical. Not that. It's never, no.

Oh, crap. No, not that I'm not that. You said fucks with it. Got my nerve system. Yeah, I'm in nervous. Stick out your tongue? Yeah, like it was working. Yeah, like it's like,

yo, I think the biggest disrespect is like when a man, like when you, a man asked you like, oh, you bought that plan B? I had a nigga asked me like, yo, yeah, you got that plan B, right? And I was just like, yo, I'm not going to hold you. I would never want to have your C. I don't know why on God's green earth you thought you got to call me

to make sure I got that plan B, baby. I promise you if I do nothing else to them. That could be an attentive father. Following up, making sure everything's going okay. Make sure you good. Yeah. Sounds like a family man to me. Yeah.

I think his head was just a little big. Like, nigga, you would be trapping me. Not the other way around. I promise you. That's crazy. I had a girl take a video of her taking it to prove to me that she did it. I didn't ask her for that, which I thought, I think she thought that was a good gesture. But then it had me thinking, like, what had happened in her past that she thought.

She had to show you the video? Nobody asked to that. Yeah. Took a full video, selfie video of taking it. I'm like, I didn't. I trusted you was going to take it. I didn't think you weren't. Sending the video.

Because now I feel like you're taking a fake one. Because why to show? Why the production? Yeah. It had my mind racing, which I think she thought that brought a ring. She had the ring light on when she did it. It was content for us. She probably on someone else's couch.

A ring light is funny. She had a ring light on to take a plan. Everyone's been asking me about my plan B routine. Yeah, here you know. Part of my morning routine. Subscribe to my plan B routine. Oh, man. But yeah, I don't know.

I think people are just really, outside is expensive recession indicator. I think everybody, also your timeline is probably people older. You shouldn't be following no 21, 22, 23 year olds. I don't know how old some of these people I follow until they post those balloons in the back. And I'm like, whoa, unfollow. Thought you with 30. Didn't realize this was 24 for you. And it goes both ways because sometimes they'll be 24 and I'll be like, oh shit, you're way younger than I thought.

Then sometimes they'll be 40 and I'll be like, I thought you was 25. Yeah, it looked great. can't tell them more. This makeup is crazy. The makeup now is insane. Like, you never know how old a girl is until, like, you see the balloons in the back. And some makeup be looking these, making these people look older than what they are.

Oh, yeah. Oh, for sure. The surgery does too. You just think that face surgery is making them look better. No, you just look older and weirder. When you take all that fowch, when they're taking, like, the fat out of their face and pulling their face back, that's making them look older. Chunky, chunkier faces look younger. Yeah. How come

the plastic surgeons haven't figured out hands yet? Like, even the professional plastic surgery chicks, like the ones that are millionaires and get that shit done by monthly. I can still see your old ass hands. Yeah, I can't wait to get my hands. Yeah. How old is a good? Your hands?

Yeah. What's wrong with your hands? I got old lady hands. Let me see your hand. Not on this camera. I'll show you off camera. But I got, what's wrong with your head? I got like, baby.

She's going to find the hoodie for the rest of the year. I got a fucking. Baby, did you not have old woman hands, though. I really do. No, you do not. I'll show you later. You turn 31 to start acting crazy. I always had a chick with a woman.

hands, though. Rinkly hands? I had wrinkly hands when I was young. Not a funny. I've met a, no pun intended, a handful of chicks that were young, but they had old hands. Yeah. I've had old hands. What do they do for work? It's not about looking, it's not about having rough hands. It's just like you have like more skin on your hands. So your hands look more wrinkled. More defined in certain areas. Y'all got to do your spare fingers more often every morning. You got to do these.

It's usually women who have like small hands because I have like baby hands. Like people who have small hands, when your fingers are longer, it stretches the skin more. I have really, short fingers. Baby D. Who are you, Venom? What is she talking about? What is she talking about?

I'll show you. Baby, you do not have oh, you know you have to show me your hands. You do not, I feel like if you had old hands, I would have saw your old hands and made it a topic of the record. We would have been discussed your old hands.

You don't have old. Big foreheads, wrinkly hands. Who said that? You know what they say. No, I don't know what they say. I've never heard nobody. You know what they say. Rory, I've never heard nobody saying.

Everyone says it. How old are you turning this year? 35. Damn. Sorry. Not bad. I didn't say that. You don't want to know how old I'm turning this year.

You're supposed to age. That's the point. That's the fact. It's a beautiful thing. It's a blessing. Yeah. It's a blessing. You'll be there soon, no, right. Though she did already.

She don't want to go out. She don't want to stand up for more than 12 minutes. And I'm about to freeze my eggs. You about to do what? Freeze my eggs. Maybe. What? I have to, I'm a woman that wants to have kids eventually.

You're 31. Two weeks into 31 years old. But that's still, your eggs start dying at 25. Yeah, that's something you have. Don't your eggs die every, period? Yes. You lose them and I'm not getting anymore. So, yeah, I have to start thinking about that.

Freezing my eggs. Anything can happen. Do they tell me how many you have every? No, I would have to go get that checked out. And I'm not really for them to go up in there yet. But yeah, I'm probably getting them frozen. Do you think you know the person you're going to have kids with? Like, you got met already?

I used to think so, but no, not anymore. Okay. What about you? You're going to freeze your spark? Well, one of you have fertilized my kids? eggs. Sorry, so did I take it last longer? Wouldn't you what? So when I go to freeze my eggs,

fertilized eggs tend to last longer and do better. So like, will one of y'all fertilized like half of them? But when you like put it back in, would we be the father? Yes. You think that I would give maybe that you think that I would let you take my sperm and fertilize your egg? First of all, you got like

five more years left before like you start giving your kids at risk for autism and stuff. You have to freeze that sack, brother. Yeah. Like you, the older men are, the less healthy the kids are likely to be. I'm just saying. So come on, we can have a kid. A little pie, baby. That just sounds like a terrible idea.

It's a black mirror episode. That is a terrible idea. That is definitely a black mirror episode. Oh my God. Imagine that. Can you imagine the headlines if I donate my sperm to baby these egg? Like, can you imagine that? Reddit would go crazy.

First of all. There'd be a whole different Reddit just. for that. Yo, Pee's bleak. First of all kind of f***. We didn't even have sex. You just gave her sperm. That's like the president. Like, what type of shit is that? Did you have a kid? Like, nah.

Yeah. We have a little power, baby. I know some people that have like packs with their friends. Like platonic friends, yeah. I had, I had one before this. She went out of baby. Damn. You broke the, you broke the pack. Wait, what was the age for the pack? Like, if we're both this age. If, if, because she's, I think, like, four years younger than me. So at the time, she was like, when she was 35, which, or 30, and I was, I would have been turning 34, 35.

She's like, what, would you have a kid? I was like, yeah. And then, like, two years later, she had a kid. Broke the pact. Yeah, she thought about that shit a little long thing. How long were you going to give her, too? So she turned 35? That's what she was saying.

Okay, got you. Because she had introduced the idea of it. And I was like, yo, we like, super cool. cool. I was like, yeah, why not? I would. Oh, this is where I wish we had another mic. Maybe P. or Josh could just yell. What traits do you think the baby would take from each of these?

Do you think this would be a well-meshed baby as far as how they act? If I was to donate sperm to baby these eggs? Oh, no, that baby would be lit. I think you guys would balance each other out well for the child. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, baby these, I'm not, I'm going to be an absent father. She's ready. No, for sure.

No, no. I'm going to be an absent mother. No, no, no, no, no, no. We both can't be absent, baby, D. Somebody has to be present. But you got a big family. That's what I thought about. You do, too.

Like, Rory, you got a big family. You do too. You all your phone with one of your sisters every day. I don't know which one. But you got 400 of motherfuckers, though. That's true. And your nephew is so well raised. He's amazing.

But what that got to do with you taking this kid? Nah, I ain't doing that. What? Nah, I'm not the primary parent. You're the primary parent. How? You're the one that's carrying you the baby. Yeah, for nine months.

And then for 18 years, that's on you. Hell, no. That just sounds crazy. I don't think that's how that works. See, that's crazy. The American tradition is the father of him. It's funny that you're going to carry the seed for nine months and then be like, yo, I'm cool. But what's so funny about the scenario is you guys are planning to abandon your child.

Not that I understand that people abandon their kids, but when shit happens, you'd be like, all right, he didn't want that baby. The shit happened. So he jetted. You guys are going to science to create a child to then abandon. Yeah, but look how it starts. I am a do. I am the donor. It's a personal donation though.

Yeah, it's a, I am depositing into Baby Dee's account. Yes. Of her egg, right? She then carries the egg. Yeah, she carries the egg. She can't just leave the egg once it has. You make more money to me. Like if in a child support war, I would lose because you make more money to me.

No, no, we don't got to go there. Imagine if a woman went to a sperm bank with the intention to abandon her child. I just want to have it, but I want it. I just want to have it, but I don't want it. They're going to be like, I don't. No, it's just, yeah, like, how you're a surrogate for a surrogate for a surrogate? There's a difference between being, you don't abandon, but not the primary parent.

Like, when it comes to like, when the kid wants something, it needs to go to daddy first. All right, so here, here's what we do. If it's a girl, you have to keep it. Because I can't, I can't raise a woman. I would not want my daughter raised by you, so agree. Wait, wait, wait, hold on. What that mean? You just said you can't raise a girl.

Why? Because I would have to kill one of these little. Y-N's out here. I don't want to do that. That's the only reason. So you want to raise one? A Y-N? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Definitely raising a Y-N for sure. But if it's a boy, I'll take it. I'll raise him. What's funny is I think he'd get all his violence from DeMaris.

I'd be more scared of his mother's side in a situation. Like to make an irrational impulse decision to murder me. I'm definitely going with Demaris aside. Yeah, so you have to raise it if it's a girl. Cool. I think that should be a thing anyway. that's it no girls need their fathers absolutely but I'm saying like if y'all

if the parents break up split like you know we get separate households we don't live together I think that if it's a daughter she should still have a bond in a life with the father but primary residence who raises her I think should be the mother and if it's a boy I think he should live under his dad's roof Girls, the age 12 through 17, need to be with their fathers. Like every day? Yes, they need to be with their fathers.

Damn, like parenting? Yeah. Why, though? What do you mean why? That's when they need y'all the most. That's when they need you all the most. That's when they need to be reassured the most, that male attention they need the most. No, but you still, I'm not saying like the father is completely, I'm saying as far as live in the house.

You ever seen a 13-year-old girl argue with her mother? that should have shake the neighborhood. You've got to have a twin sister. You think I've never seen the 13. Exactly. Exactly. The diplomat of the house. I had to grow up fast.

And if your daddy would have been off that stuff, your sister would have left and went with him immediately. I'm telling you, she would have asked her. She would have been gone. Yeah. It did it as a point where mothers and daughters clash. Yeah. Them teenage years, it's tough.

It's like soon as your first period. As soon as that first period happened, that's it. That's it. It's over. Now it's like two women fighting for like, I've seen it. I'm just telling me what I thought. Pissing on trees.

Who got the, who got the smarter mouth? Who got the bigger attitude? Who had the last? Mm-hmm. That last last last? That last word? Yo.

You don't want to know how many times my house shook up and down for the last one. I'm like, why don't you all just shut the fuck up? Just both of y'all. And now they're both mad at you. I'm 14. I'm 14, like both of y'all. Shut the fuck up.

Like, just let it. go. Like, yeah, it's crazy. That's a real thing. I don't know what it is about teenage. It's like, we just become monsters. My mother's thing used to be Damaris Ice's like, okay, okay. She's like, Demarisis, I swear to God, say okay, one more motherfucketime. Yeah, it's the last. Y, y'all want that

last last. You know how many battles I've seen over the last? I'm like, yo, we talk about a box of cereal. This started at a box of cereal. And now we all the way here. Like, what are we talking about? But then raising a teenage boy, you have to factor in all the towels that you can crack

half by the end of the week. It's going to be fucking seeming everywhere. Like, do you want a quiet house with dirty towels or a loud one with, you know, a tampon or two? Now, me and my mom used to always, like, our thing was always like just me, like coming in the house late after a while.

Like, that was mom. Like, I just started hanging out in the streets. Like, you've been a whore. No, but it wasn't even that. It was like literally just being outside. Like, with the, with the homies. Like, we go into Brooklyn. We go on to Queens. And we're taking the train. It's two in the morning. And my mom's like, what are you?

How are you? You think you were just coming here at three, four in the morning? Like, what's? And it's like, yo, we're the, I'm not saying nothing wrong with it. But looking back, I understand why my mother was so. Yeah. It's crazy. You know what it is to be on the train at three in the morning as a 16-year-old black kid.

Yeah. And she can't sleep. Like, as a parent, you can't sleep. Yeah. So that was my thing. That was my. And then the girls, you know, come bringing the girls to the house. That was a thing.

But my mom's thing was better than bringing the boys to the house. So, you know what I'm saying? That was just like. Jesus is crazy. We've decided what we're going to do depending on if it's a boy or a girl. With that agreement, let's say we get to 15 and a transition wants to happen. Does the household transit? You can't help yourself, can't you?

You can't help us? Like transitions from boy to girl? I knew we were going to take that out anyways. Please keep it on me. Okay, do we guys, come back over. I got you. Just why? Because why?

Because I was sitting right there. Okay. Do we have names that we can agree on? We already know where the boy or the girl is staying. Do you have boy names? Yeah. I got boy names. What's your boy names?

I think I want a junior. Not naming my kid Jamal, but it's spelled Jamil. I'm not doing it. Why? He's Muslim. You take a Shahada? With a Jesus piece on. Yeah.

Take a shahada. Yeah, raise a Muslim baby. Yeah. I can see you. turn a Muslim. She needs one month with Kevin Gates. Get her right. Kevin got Brittany draped. I might be the only person. I might be the only person ever stressed

Kevin Gates out. Kevin wouldn't stress me out. I would stress Kevin. He seems like you're type. I don't mean that a bad way. I'm serious. He's a challenge. I love a challenge. Yeah. Y'I would argue all fucking dead. Yeah, Kevin Gates and Demiris? Yeah, that's an argument. Wait. Do you have girl names?

She gave us girl names before. then maybe Alexander or Anastasia. Jamaris. Jamaris. For the left Bill. I like Jamaris. No, you don't.

No, you do not. You don't like Jamaris. You can still be a junior. Jamaris Jr. And it's like, what is? Is it a boy and girl? Like, it's a unisex name? We saw the Smiths do it.

Look how that turned up. Two creative kids. Two creative kids, absolutely. Yeah. We're going to have a kid that talks too fucking much. Two podcasters can't have a kid. Kid won't shut the fuck up. No, that kid's going to be head-grite.

It's funny because I mean, Rory knows, I only talk here. Yeah. I'm saying? No, I only talk here. I don't talk to nobody outside of this shit. I talk to the same four people every day, probably. Outside of these walls.

Because I have a word count, like a Twitter word count. And it usually ends here. Yeah. Go home and be quiet. Today's show is brought to you by our presented sponsor, Hard Rock Bet. It's that time of year. Viva la Copa! If you haven't tried Hard Rock Bet, yet there's no better time to get into the game than it is right now.

with the big game, the biggest game happening right now. Viva la Copa. I don't care if you're betting for your country wherever you're from. You can get in on the bet whether you're back in your country or you're just betting on your favorite superstar or you're building the same game parlay for the biggest matches of the tournament.

Hard Rock bet is your way to get in on the action. Sign up with Hard Rock bet today and place a $5 bet if it wins. You also score $150 in bonus bets, a winning bet plus an extra $150 to bet with. Now, that's how you get this summer's party started. Pete, you know that's my punchline. And if you're ever late to kick off,

don't worry, hard rock bet, let you live bet all match long from the first minute to the final whistle. Download the hard rock bet app today. Roll with us. Go with us. Hard rock bet. Payable and bonus bets, not a cash offer. Offered by the Seminole Tribe of Florida in Florida.

Offered by Seminole Hard Rock Digital LLC in all of the states, must be 21 plus and physically present in Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, New Jersey, Ohio, Tennessee, or Virginia to play. Terms and conditions of play. concerned about gambling. In Florida, you call 1833 playwise. In Indiana, if you are someone you know has a gambling problem once helped, call 1-800-9 with it.

Gambling problem, call 1-800 gambler, Arizona, Colorado, Illinois, Michigan, New Jersey, Ohio, Tennessee, and Virginia. Hey, I'm Hoda-Kotby, host of the podcast, Joy 101 with Hoda-Kotby. Okay, if you know me, you know this. I'm always searching for inspiration, for support, and useful tools to help maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover all of that together. We're going to have these meaningful conversations with the world's most fascinating people. Like when actress Olivia Munn shared how she overcame fierce health challenges that she never saw coming. I've gone through breast cancer and then helped my mother through breast cancer. And that was more difficult.

There's a lot of people who understand postpartner depression. I was not prepared for postpartum anxiety. Olympic champ Sean Johnson revealed why she had no choice. but to be a gymnast. There was something about gymnastics that was intoxicating to me. It's given me a belief that we all have one of those treasures inside of us. We just have to find it. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. My husband is currently on a vacation with his mistress, and I'm confronting them. Tell me, Sophia, how did she even catch them? One Amazon shopping receipt. He accidentally sent her a photo of the kid's Christmas gifts, with a delivery to another woman at the bottom. He exposed himself? That's a rookie move.

Couples massages, monogrammed bath robes, and lingerie he then moored her for. So she spent four weeks gathering evidence and taped a 10-page letter inside his luggage before he flew out. In his luggage, she came to play. And the second he landed, he blocked her. So she called the hotel room directly and got the mistress on the phone. Ooh, she got the mistress live on the phone? That is a bold move. Let's see if it pays off.

Then it gets worse. He took the mistress on the Bahamas honeymoon trip he had planned with his wife. And then the mistress tagged him on Facebook, outing the affair to her entire family. That's like a whole public confession. And spoiler, two years later, karma hits him so hard. He's calling his ex-wife in tears saying about the mistress. What a mistake that was. To find out what happened, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

My first guest is Paris Hilton, Shakira, Luke and Yerrin, Samira and Gracie. I'm so excited on the bouncy bed. You have surprises, many surprises. Welcome to Sweet 305 where the group chat comes to life. What a . It's like a way to say like, Oh, my friend, oh, my friend, oh, my, hermana. What a .

Look, I've never ever had to be a bled with nobody. Except you with my kids, my kids, and my children. I know. Oof, that's incredible, yeah, the telenovela. You're the only person I know that loves a yellow starburst. It's lemonade. And no there's someone. I'd like to collaborate with this person.

This is Sweet 305. Listen to Sweet 305 with Lele Pons as part of my Cultura podcast network on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jake Brennan, and on my podcast, Disgraceland. I tell the story. behind music's biggest names, the moments that shaped them, haunted them, and changed music history forever.

Like how the story of the foo fighters and Dave Grohl isn't just about music. Imagine that. You're in the biggest band on the planet, as Dave Grohl was in 1994 in Nirvana. And the phone rings, and you learn that your singer, your friend, the reluctant voice of a generation, Kurt Cobain, is dead.

This is a story of fame, pressure, friendship, and the weight of fulfilling your destiny. Learn more about the moment everything changed. Disgraceland is part of the exactly right network. Listen to new episodes every Tuesday, bonus episodes Thursday, and rewinds on Sunday on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Find out about a sibling that my dad didn't know about? Yeah, or you just didn't know about it. Nah. We all of the siblings, we all know each other. I mean, if it's somebody else out there, they haven't come forward yet. Good. Stay over there. Ain't, nah. No way a sibling saw the big pimping video. I was like, I'll keep that to myself.

I'm not going to approach that family. Yeah, nah. Hopefully, I mean, Pops was, you know, he was outside, man, but I think we all, all the siblings. We all have a relationship. We all know who we are. Demaris? my father has said that he thinks he saw a little girl one time and she really like like she looked like him and like he really thought that there was a chance that might be his child she was with a nanny um but other than that no i'm not looking for anybody else i already got to split the will four ways he should have took some of her hair and got a DNA test you just want my dad to walk up to a little girl and pull on her hair like hey how you don't act like he's like and just kind

of get a strand out of her head and then take it and get a little DNA test yeah no that feels like a really good strategy yeah yeah I had one of my older frat brothers, it was like within the last three or four years, married, two kids, the oldest is 15. He found out he had a 25-year-old daughter in Jamaica. 25-year-old daughter?

It was before he met his wife. It's not like he stepped out on his marriage or anything. How old is he? I try out. Late 40s. Okay. Yeah, late 40s, maybe. Yeah, and like had to deal with that too.

I mean, his wife wasn't like, yo, what the fuck? Because it was before they even met. But now, like, they have a whole extra part of their family. Like, that has to be a strange situation. That's tough. 25 years old, like, hey, dad's. Like, whoa.

Nah, man, 25. Don't come up to me to my hey dad. I'm not your dad. I'm not your dad. 25 years old? And I'm just me and you? I'm not your dad. I mean, me and your mom's may have hooked up.

up but I ain't your dad though like but you're my you're my you might not be my father but you you're my daddy daddy like no no fuck I'm not that's up there with the don't call me daddy he wants to do no that's actually worse 25 year old girl calling me daddy no she wouldn't call you daddy but you're that's what you just said you're my daddy you're you are her daddy like you're not her father you didn't raise her but you're her daddy you her mother baby daddy and you're her daddy. Yeah, luckily for me, I don't have anything to worry about when it comes to that. You don't know that.

I ain't got no kids out here. You don't know that on me. That's still your responsibility, though. Like, what do you mean? Yeah, I want back child support. Man, for 25, yo, welcome to you to my yo, you my daddy. I'm like, listen, man, check this out. I will fight you.

Like, you 25, we can squib. Like, that's legal. I'll fight a 25-year-old. A 25-year-old dude, welcome to me to my y'all. I think you're my daddy. I know, fam, check this out. I'm not even in the move for us right now. Like, we can get it shaking out here.

This is the plot to elf. Yeah, like, what are we talking to daddy? 25, get your grown, that. Go to work. Niggins, like, you're talking about you a dad. Why aren't you a dad? Yeah, like, dude, go take your ass to work. Okay, so if he was a senator and say, you're my dad, I felt like, you don't think

that you, like. At 25? All right, what he doing in life? Where he at? See, you can do that. Because he would have been there if you would have, he would have been better if you would have been there for him. No, I don't put, that's what his, that's the push he needed.

I don't know about him. No, you know that. His mother is whack for not telling me that. That ain't me. I don't know that. Yeah, I'm a deadbeat. I don't even know it's a beat out there. I'm going to be a deadbeat.

I didn't know I had a beat walking around. Like, what the fuck? Yeah, I didn't know that. That ain't on me. Maybe she didn't know. That, yeah, that's a real thing. That's a real thing. Yeah, 23 and me helped a lot of women like, ah.

It was him. It was him. I was on a hot streak that week. But girls ask me that a lot. Like, you sure you don't got no kids? I'm like, what does that even mean? How are you sure if you don't have yes? If you're not in touch with every single woman that you've slept with, that's a chance.

I mean, yes, it's a chance. But I think that if any woman I've ever slept with and she actually had a kid and thought it was mine, she would have told me that. Yeah. She wouldn't go 25 years to be like, hey, so remember back in 2011? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You got money and shit? Yeah, she wouldn't keep it.

Oh, I'm about it. Let me see the nigga I think might be my baby daddy on a fucking clip going viral. You bug the fuck out. What type of clip is it though? Just because it's going viral, you're going to be like, yo, you might be my baby. On your podcast. She saw the Drake clips and the Trump clips and said, nah, never mind. He don't need a father.

Yeah. I'm not going to reach out to him. Good. Stay there. Stay there. Stay there. I saw that original Vulture interview. That's $7 million.

I'm like, were? Yeah. Call your pop. I ain't got the phone. My phone number changed. change my number on all you owes I don't have service ever Yeah

I'm grandfathered in But I feel like would you Okay so if that did happen to you more right Suddenly you have a 25 year old You find out you take the DNA test Like it's real How do you move forward from that Do you try to build a relationship?

And it's a son Like I have a son It doesn't matter Wait it does matter Because how do I feel as a daughter It's kind of like What am I going to do with a 25 year old daughter Right now

Like how do I How do I love it? Like, how do I... Like, 25? It's like, isn't she? She probably engaged. That new movie All out of context page is going to have a field day with this fucking episode.

I'm just saying, like, what do I do with a 25-year-old woman that comes up to me say, hey, you know, my mom hooked up years ago, I'm your daughter? Once it's confirmed, I mean, she's a human. You can get to know her. I mean, what do I do? You take her to get something to eat? I don't know. 25?

It's like... I'm all going to take her to the zoo. That's what I'm saying. When do you do it? grown-ass woman. She's not a kid. She's not a child. Okay, but you can still get to know her. Like, get to know. I mean, yeah, but she's 25. She probably wanted to meet her at brunch with her home girls. I'm not doing that. What type of freaky? This is that daughter swap shit I was talking about. No, because you know, she might be like, yo, meet us at brunch, dad. Like,

we're going to, that just sounds crazy. She's not going to see me to sit at brunch dad. She's, I don't, I don't think that's going to happen. Okay, so where the 25-year-old girls go to hang out? To meet, not to hang out. You're meeting her. Have sit down, have dinner. Have her come over. Y'all and watch like TV together like watch TV. Introduce her to your whole family. That's what people do with their dads, mall. I'm not her dad.

She's 25 million. So when you were 25, what did you do with your dad and mom? Like, you were still their kids. When you were getting to know your father more after he got out of jail and he got off drugs, what did you do with your dad to get to know him more? I stubs.

I stayed at that. It's most sweet. I iced grilled that nigga for like three hours. I was stared at him like, punk, motherfucker. Like, you know the Bronx is. It's like five minutes. away. No, but I think it's different. That's what I said. If it's a son, I think it's

different. Like a daughter, your daughter being 25, that's the first time you meet her. I think that's way more awkward than a father meeting his 25-year-old son for the first time. Are you afraid you're going to be a track catch or something? Like what? No, no, no. It's not that. It's just, it's like, yo, she's a grown woman. It's kind of like

she, you know, women are different. Like, y'all have y'all. Once y'all reach a certain age, it's like, y'all are who y'all are. So with a son, it's like, you can kind of, you know, talk to him differently, give him different advice with a woman. It's like your mom did a great job. Why you're trying to give a woman advice, right? No, but her mom, look, you

look great, got a good job. Mom did a great job. Like, I don't, you know what I mean? We could try to develop a relation, but it's going to be awkward. It's your offspring. Like, that's your, that's part of you. I don't think, I don't, yes, obviously it's going to be awkward, but eventually awkwardness goes away once you get to know her. Like, y'all might have things in common.

Y'all might like. Yeah, but like, what if I find her Instagram page and she had thought? You should have been a fucking father. I didn't know about this girl like it's her mother this is the result her mother kept her a secret i did not know that's not on me okay it's not on you but if she's a thought then you can understand why and you can that's crazy yeah how can i she's been trying to replace you and all the men so still it falls on me no it's not that it falls on you but you can just under you like what if she a thought okay well you can understand why she is but also why does that matter she's still a human being who's your child yeah but i don't

know if i if i meet my 25 year old daughter for the first time and And I'm with developing relationships. Like, yeah, no, I've seen your page, your, your podcast. Like, follow me. I'm like, okay. Follow her on Instagram or whatever. And she got like an only fan. Okay, well, you shouldn't be following her then.

I'm just saying, I just followed her IG. I see the link tree. So you have to go to the only fan. I'm like, my daughter might, she might be putting an hour with my, let me click the link. You were looking for her Amazon list. No, I'm saying if it's a link tree in the bio, okay, let me see what my daughter got going on. If I see the only fan symbol, I don't know if I'm speaking her anymore. Let me just be honest.

that. Okay, what if your son is flooding the neighborhood with fentanyl? That's cool. Who's a supplier? We could play catch. I might know somebody with their numbers. You could take her to get morning tea because you missed all her tea parties. Like, that could be a cool. Yeah, I think that'd be dope. Go get tea every morning. Before you go to work? She might be cool. I would hope she's cool. Yes, I hope so. I'm saying in an event that she's not and she's a thotty and she's out here reckless and it's like, then how do I navigate through that relationship? Will you try to build a relationship with her and show her her worth?

She probably watches Badi's. Yeah, y'all can watch Badi's together. We could definitely watch Badi's together. We could definitely watch. We could do that together. What if she's auditioning for Baddies? You could be her manager. No, thank you.

You know what? You know what I'm saying? Like you got to think. We're talking about a 25-year-old woman. I think if you had a 12-year-old. She might be cool and I think you should get to know her. That's all. Hopefully.

But, you know, let's not put that on me. I don't have no kids out here in the world. Don't put none of these kids on me. I don't want no girls for my past popping up. What if she's a pod fan? If she's a fan of the pod? Yeah, before she, like, found out that you were her father. Oh, then I would have a join this for a Patreon.

He's content. Got a user. Get to work. You would not do that. There is a. Yeah. Introduce my daughter to the world. Well, worry, did it with a podcast. Yeah, but that he knew, that was like he was there when she was born.

It was different, though. I'm just meeting this 25-year-old woman. like with the rest of the world. Like, hey, my daughter. Why does Beanie Sego call you spacecakes? That's funny. So years ago, so years ago, I ate, I ate a, um,

this is a funny. That's crazy. Beans told you that? That's hilarious. So we was in, um, so Biggs had had, I don't know if Biggs had him, but we was in, I was at Biggs house,

I think I wanted to say it was New Year's 2001 or 2002 maybe so he had some I don't know who it was but somebody brought some somebody brought some weed brownies okay

and you know it's no actually it was Thanksgiving it wasn't New Year's it was Thanksgiving someone brought that to Thanksgiving exactly so we I also love that you had Thanksgiving with Beanie Siegel no beans wasn't there

no beans wasn't there So we had dinner at the crib at Biggs house and somebody bought some weed brownies. Now, I didn't know they were weed brownies. I just thought somebody bought brownies things. It's delicious treat. And it's on the, it's on the counter. It's on the island, like in the kitchen with everything else. It's a part of the spread.

It's not labeled. No, it's part of the spray. Understand what I'm telling you because this is a very important part of the story. It's part of the spread. Is there elders there too? My dad. Okay. But my, I'm thinking about like that one older grandma.

No, no, no, no. Love is a sweet treat. No, no, no, no. Some kids was around, but, you know, I think that they were probably too little to even get on the island at the time. But so I see the brownies. So now we downstairs in the arcade because we used to be downstairs playing NBA jam like for hours. That would be our thing to be our wreck, just down there playing that shit for hours. So I go upstairs.

I'm like, damn, I didn't want no cake, but then I saw the brownies. So I'm like, oh, it was brownies? Like, I ain't bet. So I get a brownie, go downstairs and I'm eating the brownie. I'm like, damn, that was kind of fired. I go upstairs and get another one. Come back down. So now that I'm on the second one, Biggs is on the game,

and he turned, you look at me. He's like, yo, he's like, what's brownies is fired? He was like, what brownies? I said, the brownies upstairs. He was like, everything start echoing. He said, listen to what I'm following me. He said, you got those brownies from upstairs? God bless my brother Bob was there.

So he started looking. He was like brownies. like they all start laughing they was like yo those the brownies that was in the foil so i was like yeah he was like you know those are we brownies i don't know he'd like to get wet i promise you as soon as big said those are we brownies i heard brownies brownies brownies it was like somebody just put the reverb on i was like because now modd you at this time i wasn't smoking like that like i only i wasn't smoking really at all like that wasn't never really a big drinker so i was like very virgin to any type of drug,

wheat, anything. Like, so as soon as he said weed brownies, my cheeks got warm, the top of my ears got hot, and I'm standing there. So now I'm nervous, because everybody started laughing. And I was like, yo, all right, so what's going to happen, though? Like, I'm trying to understand

what feelings should I expect in the next few minutes. So they're all laughing, they're like, oh, so Biggs looking like, damn, like, he knows, he said, how many you have? I said, that was my second one. He was like, oh, my God. Like, you about to be, man, damn. I see you at Christmas.

So, like, 20 minutes past, so everybody started looking, so I stayed like, yo, just drink some water, start drinking a bunch of water. I'm drinking a bunch of water. I'm drinking a bunch of water. I start getting hot. I'm like, oh, my God, I feel it working. Like, it's going through my bloodstream now. Yo, I went upstairs.

See, I got to go in the room and lay down because I couldn't, I was getting like this, like, I guess anxiety would start kicking. Everybody laughing at me. So I'm like, yo, I'm just going to room and lay down. I can hear these niggas through the vents laughing So I hear them like Yo, he gonna be high and shit

So now imagine I'm in the- Or did you really hear them from the vents? Yeah, no, 100%. So I'm laying down in the bed It's pitch black in the room And I'm just, I'm like, damn Like the room just starts spinning

I'm like, oh my God, here we go It's like you're on a roller coaster And it's that part where you start going up I just don't know what to expect I'm laying there I can hear them through the vent downstairs saying, yo go check on them Go check on them

go check and I'm saying, hey, they keep coming to room like every 10 minutes like, yo, you good? And I'm like, yeah, I'm good, I'm good. Now, the whole time I'm laying down, it feel like it's a nigga in the mattress pulling me into the mattress. Like, I'm just getting it. My body is so heavy and I'm like, oh my God.

So I started, the room starts spinning. I got up, I started throwing up. Yo, I was, so for two, like two, three days, I was still high. Like, it was still in my body. Like, I could feel it. I woke up the next day. My parents still wasn't right.

Everything was still kind of like moving. We go to the studio. So they tell them that everybody's hearing the story. This nigga Maugh ate two wheat brownies. This nigga been fucked up. So Beans of them had a session there. And they was telling them what happened. And so then they start calling me spacecakes.

They're like, yo, this nigga ate two spacecakes. You know what I'm saying? So from that, it just stuck. Like, everybody started calling me space cakes from that. That's crazy. Like, you just said that I'm like, who the fuck called me spacecakes? That's what I was asking.

I said, I do a podcast with them all. I don't do one with space case. That is hilarious, man. Yeah, so Bees, that was what they call weed brownies. They called them space case because I guess you eat them shit. You get spaced out. So that's how I got the name space case. And I will have you know, Rory, I have never ate a brownie since that day.

Listen, a regular brownie or wee brownie? I have not eaten a single brownie since that. You haven't listened to the truth since. I have not eaten a brown. I don't get, you can be like, no, no, that's good. I don't want it. Like that feel, I was high for probably four days. Like, I felt my body like trying to get.

get rid of that shit for about four days. Was this pre-eating on Thanksgiving or post? This was after we ate. Okay. Because that would just be funny, picturing everyone at the dinner table for Thanksgiving. Like, where's them all that? Yo, that is perfect.

Yo, I'm talking about that feeling of being that high, I will never do that too much. That's why I really don't do edibles now because I still have that fear in my mind of being that high. I was high for four days. No, edibles are the absolute ones. Yeah, no, never again. Never.

And imagine you eat two of them and you don't even know. So you just on your, dessert thing like, I'm just eating brownies. Nah, it's weed in those. Why they ain't label them? Demaris. Now you're asking the heart-aid the question. Who brought them?

Who brought them? Yeah, yeah, I know brought them. My brother, my brother, homeboy brought them over. He made them. So that's why he was like, no, it ain't no, you're good. You're going to be high, but you're good. This is a family gathering. Why would you bring?

I still don't know. And it was in the middle. It was turkey here, this baked mac, yeah. It's in the middle of everything that you're supposed to eat. So I'm like, okay, brownies. somebody more brownies. Two of them. Gone four days.

Hides a motherfucker. But shout out the beans. Yeah. Nobody calls me that no more beans. But that's how I got the beans. Nah, just finding out like in the streets you call Spacecakes, I had to ask. Yeah, no.

That's a wild name to just have in the streets. That's funny as fuck. Damn, I ain't heard Space Cake. Shit. I ain't heard that name in years. You got to change your Twitter handle. That's crazy. Spacecakes.

I haven't heard that in probably 15, 16 years, bro. Spacecakes, wow. I'm just upset that you kept that story from us for some. Right. Like, you, I didn't know I was hanging with the spacecakes the entire time. Yeah, man, I told you, I got, I lived a lot of lives, man. I'm like a vampire. Yeah, talk about it. I'm your fucking platform, you know.

I lived a lot of lives, man. What's, what's some other, uh, funnier studio stories? Funny studio stories? Uh, when we laughed at Kanye for when, uh, he had some, remember Durango boots? Of course. The first time I saw Kanye, he had on a leather motorcycle jacket

and some Durango boots. That checks out. And we laughed. And then he started playing music. I was like, who is this? I said, yo,

who is this nigga? I think he had just moved to Jersey, I think, or something like that. And he was working on Bean's first album. Okay, yeah. He was working on Bean's first album

and did the state property soundtrack, too. That was the first time. And then, of course, he did some joints on, uh, uh,

is it Hard Knock Life? No, he did, uh, dynasty. No, I think, I think,

I think, no. Kanye worked on something before Dynasty, I think. I mean, he was on Harlem World with Mace. No, he did. But as far as Rockefeller, it was Beans first and then the dynasty. No, I think, not. Didn't he do girls, girls? Or was that just.

Blueprint was after the dynasty? No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't. Volume three, Dynasty, blueprint. Blueprint 1 was not after the dynasty, bro. What are you talking about? Am I tripping? Yeah.

You're out of your lane with this Rockefeller's shit. Yo, you're bugging. I'm just letting you know. Blueprint one didn't come out. Dynasty came before Blueprint. It came out after Blueprint. What are you talking about? When did Dynasty come out?

2000? Yeah. And when did Blueprint come out? You're not about to tell me anything with Rockefeller Relief. So it was like, oh, so it was a couple months apart. Okay. That's what it was. It was a couple months apart.

Well, I mean, I'm glad that he got the Spacecake stamp so he was able to keep working after he showed up in the Durango Boots. She was like, nah, he's good. No, I definitely remember. I told Kanye that. Like I saw him, like a few years ago we was in L.A., and I told him that story. He started dying.

He knew exactly. I was like, yo, the first time he came in baseline, you had on some Durango boots and a motorcycle, like a waist, the waist joint, not the long, like a real motorcycle lymph jacket. Like he was in the village people? Yo, and everybody was like, like, yo, who, who?

Because we was in the B room listening to joints. And everybody was like, yo, who is this? He's like, yo, that's homie in the front, in the lounge. Because Kanye, Kanye, I think it was in the lounge, just chilling watching TV. And he was like, yo, that's him. Like, he's producing all that shit. I was like, yo, this nigga is crazy.

Kanye way. Little did you know. It would go from that jacket to a Nazi t-shirt. Look at the growth. Look at us, man. What do we do? Life, huh? Full circle.

Life, huh? Full circle. For some reason that all checks out, though. Like, that guy would go to the Nazi shirt. That would be the period at the end of the 70s. Like, he wore everything. It's either. Y'all want Durango boots up upstate?

You have to pull up a picture of them because I wouldn't. I would have to see them to be able to notice. You know the Durango, they had them in black and then tan, then they had like the little tassels on them sometimes? Those. Nah. Y'all didn't do those upstate?

Nah. Maybe to like the fashion, like gay niggas, but I don't think like the regular niggas wasn't jacking that. It was regular dudes in New York wearing that. Okay, I'm just saying. How we said regular? It was heterosexual men.

I was about to say, so gays aren't regular? What are you trying to say? They were heterosexual women wearing those. We don't bleep that out. But yeah, I don't know. I never. see anybody with them, me personally. But I'm a lot younger than you, though.

But those also, like, those are for the concrete. I don't know, because it's snow. It's snow and Syracuse like nine months out the year. Shut up. Those would be very tough in the snow. It was just so odd because if you was around Rockefeller back then, you knew how crazy it was to walk around any of us wearing those. Like, I'm just, yo,

niggins was wearing Air Force once only. It's still been a fuck yay, but to have the balls to show up around a bunch of reform drug dealers that have only gotten out of the game for the last three years. To walk in with those on confidently is a different type of confidence. I don't know how crazy that was to be somebody. I was like, oh, he's brave. Because if you wore something like that,

you had to know you're going to get cut up all day. Like you're the butt of the joke for the entire night. But once he started playing, once he put that file in it started playing on them joints, I was like, yo, I think Dane was like, yeah, nah, he legit. He can wear whatever he wants. He can wear whatever the fucking wear. Going around

Cam and people like that, nah. Damon cam with those boots on? No, no, no, no. Would not happen. Absolutely would not happen. You ever got curved before? I went up to this one dude and I was like, hey, what's up?

He was like, I have a girlfriend. I was like, oh my God, yo, me he think I'm ugly. That don't count. I was like, nah, he think I'm ugly. Wait, wait, no, no, no, no. See, that's fucked up. That's not a curve. That's not a curve.

He has a girlfriend. Now, if he's single and he said that, that's a curve. Let me hold your hand when I say this. If a nigger really want you, That girlfriend don't matter. Nah, don't do that. Don't do that.

That girlfriend. Do you not saying, that girlfriend? You're right. You told me you had a girlfriend because you want me to leave you to fuck alone. Or he don't want to cheat on his girl. Everybody want to cheat on any girl. See? But when I say it, baby, we be saying the same shit.

But when I say it, it's a problem. You say it, it's supposed to be like, yeah, that's what it is. So you're not a girl. So you understand. You know, the worst kind of niggas who are going to look you in your face and say, like, I like, oh, you what's up? Like, you with somebody in niggas be like, unfortunately, I have. a girlfriend. Niggas have said to me, unfortunately, I have a girlfriend.

Unfortunately? Why are you in that relationship then? Unfortunately, it's crazy. Unfortunately, just let me know. Just leave. Why are people, why are people scared to be single? One hour later. Josh, play another voice, maw. Yo, this is Jarvis all the way from Georgia. Jarvis. I got some reds for you. But go ahead and let you know off the real. I don't know none by, no bodegas. No subways. Metro. Troves, baking egg on the bagels. See, I'm from the South.

Georgia Pacific, we know about peaches. And Black Baptist Church is where your granddad is the deacon. I only bring these things up just for me to mention that it's differences between us, let alone miles of distance. But I don't stop my heart, nor death, nor good intentions. So you smiling so hard, your cheek bones carving and dinching. Jay Cole said, he want to fold clothes with his missus. I'm trying to cook, load, the washer, let them dry and stack the dishes,

trying to write you letters to sort of envelope with a hundred kisses, trying to bring you to the South, get a feel for. your character is let you hear from horses mouth. I want to hear about all your interests. This is not a poem. This is just my feelings for you to find. It's not a story, but a prophecy waiting on proper time. Oh, he

stepped in his business with you, baby, Dee. This ain't a story. This is me just dropping the line and let you know that the time will align and the divine rhymes. He was getting his shit off. Now, he inspired me right there. He inspired me to write that. Respond. What a...

First of all, I was a beautiful spoken word, poem, rap, 16, whatever it was. It was very beautiful. I appreciate you taking the time out to write something like that to me. I know that that took time and that took energy and creativity. I appreciate it. I am unfortunately taken. Unfortunately. I mean, oh, you see how fast?

Yo, peas. That wasn't 30 minutes. Yo, that's crazy. Unfortunately, you take it? No, son. Nah, fam getting red wine Red wine, reduction in all that And there's where you go and now sit down

ain't a hold on Unfortunately, baby D is in the relationship fan Jarvis Jarvis is your name Jarvis Unfortunately Not a Not a Unfortunately baby Dee

In the relationship Yo y'all ain't shit yo That shit just just jumped out You ain't even really I realized what you were saying. Actually, she just jumped out. Unfortunately, I'm in a relationship. Let me finish my sentence.

Unfortunately for you, I am in a relationship. Fortunately for me, I'm very happy. But unfortunately for you, I am in a relationship with someone else who lives in, in Georgia and is licensed to care. That might be his man. He might have sent his homie to send that voicemont. Send his voicemail. No, no.

My baby he was on. Unfortunately, I'm in a relationship. Now, that was beautiful. I'm going to write a poem back to him. You're going to write a poem. Yeah, I'm gonna write a poem back to him. I'm about our unrequited love. Do homie know you be writing poems?

What's homie? Your man name? He, he knows? Yo, are you? Who you work for, my nigga? You just said you got a man. Do he know you writing poems to niggas? I haven't written it yet.

So why would I tell him about something that hasn't happened yet? Unfortunately, but I'm gonna write him a poem back. Don't be writing a poem back. Don't be writing no poem. Don't do that. He don't need a poem back. Sir, Jarvis, sir. Thank you.

Demaris is taken. She's in a happy relationship. Write a poem tomorrow. I'm all excepting all poems. Not from no niggas, I ain't. Why not? Because that's gay. I'm not gay.

I don't fight men. Mention and write me poems. Oh, my God. Don't write me no poems. I don't want no poems from no men. Bro, my comments and my DMs flooded with 40 and older Dr. Umars and Beck Fitties talking about some, yeah, I've been looking for a sister. Yeah. Yeah.

Donations. I mentioned. And it's my fault because I mentioned Tina Marie, the Commodores and Ron Is. Oh, he thought you was from me. He thought you was in his. home room. He thought y'all was in high school together. He thought you I was in high school. He's like, baby Dee, I knew that was you, girl. And I should have, sister, even saying sister is old, that's old nigger. Yeah, he thought you was an auntie. Like, what you mean?

You can't be mad at him. Man. You threw out the false flag. I put you on your mom or old family plan. I've gotten around 400 followers in the past 24 hours on TikTok and I want to say at least 360 of them are men between the ages of 40 and 6. That's right. That's right. They at your door. Look at this DM I got, Mom. He said, good morning, DeMaris. I wish you would have said good morning, sister DeMaris.

Yeah. Sister DeMaris. I'm sliding in your DM because I do want a sister. Now holler back at this brother, young, beautiful sister. And fix my hog malls. Fent to fix me some kidney beans. Unct them wild. Look at his pick.

Holy shit. You niggas be going crazy on social media. How do you type that and then hit send? Yeah. Good morning, DeMaris. Sliding in your DM because I do want a sister. Also, that's such an old guy thing. Shooting your shot at 8.56 a.m.

It's a nasty one. I'm right at it. I'm right at you. Who shoots shots at 856 in the DM? I'm right at you. Brush your teeth and plan your day out. Nah, no, I'm already up. Yeah.

I've been at the gym. I already got my sets in. lunchtime. You know he went on the porch with a cup of coffee and watched the sun. Yeah. Hell yeah. You want to smell the grass. That's the fact. Oh, niggas. He checked the stocks and then checked the DM. That's what you did. All that morning, do. My home girl who only date niggas like this.

She's my age, but she only date niggas like this. Like, Unknam, she like, nah, you, that's a good husband. He do construction. That's a good. That's a good husband. He'll put six ceiling fans in your crib tonight. But see, that's the thing. Uncim going to call you and be like, you, eh, it's getting cold. You need them snow tires on your car. Like, that's what they're going to do. That's unc shit.

These Y-Ns ain't doing that shit, man. We brought up recently that Y-Ns, they're taking the tires off your car. They're stealing them shit. They ain't putting them on and they're taking them off. And selling them to Unx tire. That's why you can replace them. They're Ux workers. That's a fact.

We brought up that clip, that Good Morning, Julia, a while ago, right? Yeah. If you remember that Good Morning, because that was the white version of what you're going through right now. That's the older white guy, leaving the gym, I believe, is where he ran into that girl. has a daughter that's her age

goes to high school with it, that is some creepy white shit. He had two ceiling fans in one kitchen. That was the sickest part of that. He said he built this whole house like he was a handyman. Like Damaris Stang they all...

He had, like think of a small like Long Island house kitchen. Like just who's ceiling fan? He had two in there. That's how fucking handy he was. He'd be in there burning. Damn. Two ceiling fans in the kitchen?

That's what Demaris is getting if she goes this route. But this is why I don't fuck Baby D. They'll always be a draft. Show us the DMs you responded to, though. I didn't respond. I don't respond to TikTok DMs.

I'm cool. Okay. I barely respond to Instagram one. TikTok? No. Okay. But, I mean, I might start because like, listen, I'm about to be 31 in two months.

I can't. The niggas that are 30, it's two sets of niggas that are 30, or three. One is gay. Okay. That's first set. The other set is already

married already taken. They've been taken. Okay. Yeah, but they definitely still trying to fuck. Never want to be taken. So it's like if I want to get married, I might have to get a nigga that's on his second marriage. Yeah. A couple kids. Second marriage. That's unc now. Oak now. I might

have to do it. The clean HVAC worker, he take care of his kids older. They graduated already. Empty nest. I might. President of the HOA Association. The only thing that could end up being weird with that. Because if it doesn't work out, which fine, that's how dating goes, and then you try it again.

You're going to end up with so many bonus kids, you'll have a deluxe album at this point. How many bonus kids is too many bonus kids? You're not my bonus kid if you're 25, like more said. See? Try to tell you that early. I'm trying to tell you. That's your actual kid, bro.

That ain't my kid, baby. That's a grown-ass woman standing right now. If Damaris got into a relationship with an older man, it was working out great and got along with the daughter and came in here and said, I have another bonus kid. And that's 25-year-old? She's at her 31st birthday party with her. That's crazy.

Maris, what you're doing? No, I'm not going to live like this. I'm not going to do that. You would tell her that you don't want to be her mom. You just want to have a chance to be her friend. We could be friends. We could go out when that other old nigger buying our drinks, don't tell you, Daddy. Right. I don't know.

He's the old one buying the drinks with young girls. That's her dad. I might need to be with a nigga that's 47. I feel like that would be good for me, though, because he's going to treat me like a princess. And I know how to cook. That's all they care about. That's it. I know how to cook and you'll be knocked down and,

less than six minutes. You ain't got that much energy and strengthen your legs anyway. So we're good. I feel like that would be good for me. I'm mad at it. If I bring Unknam to the single release party, y'all can like get it on?

I'm for sure. He's going to ask all those old questions that I can't stand in things. So podcasting, is it like, is it like AM radio? What is it? What do you do to marriage? That little thing on the cell?

Like, oh, that's a job? I thought y'all did that. Just with the fellas. Just with the fact I don't think I'm Start me a little pop Popcass Popcass

The fuck is a pop cast I'm thinking about Go ahead and start me a little pop cast I got some opinions Sir the paragraphs We left on Facebook Should not be recorded Got me a little

Facebook group going We're gonna do us a little pop cast Yo and like look at the shit That they're fucking sending me They're sending me the fucking Facebook rolls With the Hay Gordon They don't even have that on TikTok How did you find that shit?

You can't see on the screen. It's glittering. It moves. That's what you send the sisters. Wait, that says, Hey, gorgeous. Yeah. That road shit is like what your religious aunt sent you on Facebook for me.

That shit is funny. Or your mom's coworker that watched you grow up. She finds you on Facebook. I pray for you every night. Oh, my God. Thank you, Miss Carol. Hey, Miss Carol. No, I'm not going to lie, though, honestly.

And like, she don't miss a holiday. No, at all. But they don't miss your birthday, holiday, none of that. They got it all in their phone. Oh, the happy birthday graphics they send? Oh, my God. One of my aunts texts me every holiday. Hey, this is Auntie.

I know Auntie. I got you saved in my phone. Happy Kwanza. Thanks, Auntie. Happy. All right. Thank you. Y'all celebrate that on there.

Love you too. Like, all right, what you want me to do with that? I'm popping all this shit. But y'all, I found a gray hair the other day. So I probably should humble my face. I found my first gray fucking hair. That shit was a humbling experience And I caught it on camera

The TikTok is on my TikTok But I, I, I, I, You pulled it out Yeah, I pulled that shit out That shit felt like a cat whisker, right? That shit felt in there for years No, listen So when I-

Like a fish boom? When I pulled it out, the top part The top part was black The bottom part was black It was like a two inch Like, gray part Only the middle was gray. So I'm like, yo, who stressed me out

For like fucking six months that I got two inches of gray hair in my head and then it went back black. Yeah, you might have had a stroke and didn't know it. Say your name backwards. Maul, shut the fuck. Yo, I...

Hey, he worked at a hospital. He knows what he's talking about. I hate that. That's a medical expert right there. That nigga was serving the fucking pudding, man. Hey, hey, hey, it's a very honorable job, baby, D, all right? The patients needed their sugar, all right?

They needed their sugar. Sugar levels was low. Mall's job before podcasting was serving pudding to be pulling on holidays you mix up a little snack bag

yeah a little apple sauce and I know how they're doing the dietary department you was fucking your coworkers weren't you it was one that wanted me to fuck it but I didn't I called fucking my one of my other coworkers one day like in yeah like when we had to get our uniforms from like the cleaner room the laundry room

and he was fucking in there fucking I went to go get my uniform one day and she didn't see me he saw me he was like I was like all right so good I closed the door and just walked out. You had to fuck up the vibe. She was cute too. You got a picture mall with a tray of pudding walking in on two coworkers in the basement

fucking. And they're slamming. Niggas was in there wrestling. I said, oh, it's stinking here. You say that closed the door when you walk out. Oh, it's stinking here. Yo. Is this a gyno wing?

The first time I smelled somebody else's sex, oh, Mark. hours changed, forever changed. Yeah. Walking in the room after somebody fucking was like, ooh, y'all ain't crack a window, nothing? It's like your family house smell

you're used to. Oh, man. You smell someone else is sometimes. Yeah, it's like, ugh. Which hole was that smelling like that? Was that the front door or the back door?

I was getting freaky freaking. I'm bacteria. Ugh. Stinking asses. Joy is essential and it's also elusive. But now, there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence. Joy 101. It's a new podcast

hosted by me, Hoda Kotby. If you're craving inspiration to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting, and moving on-air chats. Open your free Iheart radio app. Search Joy 101 and listen now. Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby is presented by CVS. I'm Jake Brennan and on my podcast, Disgraceland. I tell the stories behind music's biggest names, the moments that changed music history forever. Sonic Youth was cool, but was the band cooler than the couple on the cover of their album, GOO? Cool enough to escape the glare of the international paparazzi? Cool enough to escape murder? Disgraceland is part of the exactly right network. Listen to new episodes every Tuesday, bonus episodes Thursday, and rewinds on Sunday on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever.

you get your podcasts. My first guest is Territ Hilton, Shakira, Luke, and Yerrin. You have surprises? Many surprises. Welcome to the Sweet 305 podcast where the group check comes to life.

What? What? You're the only person I know that loves a yellow starburst. It's lemonade. This is Sweet 305. Here, oversharing is encouraged. Listen to Sweet 305 with Lele Pons

on the IHard Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. My husband is at a spa resort with his mistress right now, and I'm calling the hotel to confront them both. Wait a minute, Dakota. She's calling the hotel while they're checked in together. Yeah, that's right, Sophia. And it gets worse.

It's Vacate to Vacation Week on the OK Storytime podcast, where she caught him buying gifts on Amazon and then taped the 10-page letter inside his luggage before he flew out. So she planted evidence before he even took off? And spoiler, Sophia, two years later, karma hits so hard, he's calling his head. sex wife in tears saying about his mistress what a mistake that was to find out what happened listen to the okay story time podcast on the iHeart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast this is an

iHeart podcast guaranteed human