New Rory & MAL - Episode 103 | The Guys Are Ready For Cuffin' Season
Episode Date: September 20, 2022(This episode was pre-recorded on September 14th)The boys sat down with their team to have a (semi) serious conversation about what relationship season looks like at their age. Mal gives us absolute t...errible advice on what to ask women on a first date, and they go over the official Cuffin Season Calendar dates. Mal tells a story of the first time he went to a girl's family's house for thanksgiving, and we try to decide which R&B starlet would break his heart, which leads into a conversation regarding women in the entertainment industry and the people they must kiss for work (poor Safari). They also tell you what kind of women to avoid if you don't want to be lied to, how to fake an orgasm, + more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Nigger, fuck your women crush Wednesday.
I just fuck your women crushed Wednesday.
Wasn't even Wednesday.
Nigger it was Ben's Day.
He like, why you ride with him?
She like, we just friends.
So listen, check this out.
This is a new episode of New Rory Mall, I Am All.
I'm all.
I don't know, man.
I might be a much.
Yeah, whoever you are.
You're still on a sound journey.
It's all good.
So this episode, since we're on the road, we're on our role right now, we're doing our live shows.
We're fresh back from Chicago, Shotown.
Yes.
And we decided to take the day off because we're fucking tired.
So deal with it.
Well, it's not a dead.
We're flying currently right now.
When you're listening in this, we are in the air.
That's not how they.
That's us in the air.
I've never been on a plane in air.
If you hear that, that means the plane's going down.
For sure.
So, yeah, this episode.
Rory, we decided to do an Evergreen episode.
We want to talk about quote-unquote cuffing season.
I didn't know that that was still a major thing in our lives, but apparently it is.
So we're going into cuffing season.
I had no idea that drafting had started.
We're also old as fuck.
Because I feel like the cuffing season term from what I remember started on Twitter.
It's totally different now.
In like 2009, 2010.
When I think I was of the age to do this.
silly cuffing season games and schedules.
Right.
I don't know what that looks like at 32 years old.
It's totally different now.
It's a whole different world we live and it's a whole different game.
If I told a grown woman, an adult woman, I'm scouting right now.
She's calling the cops.
She's calling the police.
You're going to jail.
Do you have a 401K and do you want children soon?
How's the womb?
Is the womb?
Is the womb good?
How's the womb?
You got to start asking the ladies the tough questions in their recovery season.
Is the womb good?
We need to know these things.
So go on to, is the womb good?
I ever ask a woman if her womb is good.
Why?
It's probably offensive.
That's extra.
I don't know.
I'm just assuming it's probably offensive.
Asking a woman if she has a good womb?
First of all,
going from your 20s, asking her,
if the pussy is good to go into your 30s,
asking, is the womb good?
Yeah, like, is she ready to have children?
Can she have children?
Like, is she fertile?
That's not a valid question?
It's a valid question, but asking is the womb good.
Well, some women can't have kids,
so I think they may deem it offensive to ask that.
Though, but then again, I find it offensive when you ask me
if I have a fucking job.
I find it offensive when,
That's none of your business, ma'am.
I find the defense of when women assume that every guy's a trick,
but we can't talk about that.
So I'm asking, is the womb good?
That's a, you need to know.
Like, if you can't have kids, I should know that, right?
Let's change our verbiage and our tone.
Thank you.
Are you planning, would you like to have children anytime soon?
Not like, no, what that womb do.
I didn't say what that wound, I said is your womb good.
It's a difference.
Do you have twins in your family?
That's a great question, two for one.
You need to know.
So, this episode
I can get one, you get one with him.
Don't even need to be together.
This episode we're going to talk about cuffing season
and how it has changed
and, you know, where we stand
and what side of the fence
during the cuff that are you on right now.
So,
Demaris put up a lovely intro points to hit.
So I just want to read this for y'all
because I thought this was fucking hilarious.
I told them it did not have to be.
No, no, no, this is very, I love it.
I don't want you to feel like I'm attacking you.
I love it.
So Damaris says, quote, if you're expecting a newsy episode, this ain't it, my niggas.
We're on tour right now.
So expect more evergreen episodes.
Demar's doing a great job.
Yeah.
It's like the McDonald's ad.
And listen, listen how she thinks of us, bro.
The two most single men in the world with the shittiest relationship history.
Jesus Christ.
I don't have a shitty relationship history.
But okay, shittiest relationship history are here to give you relationship advice going into this upcoming cuffing season.
Take take notes.
Take notes.
Wait.
Wait, we're telling the listeners to take notes
because we're about to give a good dissertation about this.
Yeah, absolutely.
We'll give you a minute to get a pen and bad.
We're going to break it down.
We're going to get into cuffing season.
The weather's changing a little bit.
The nights are getting a little colder.
The air's getting a little crisp at night.
You need somebody to kind of, you know, keep company in the bed and cuddle a little bit.
So she really made an official document here.
Official definition.
Populized when the rapper Fabulous in 2013 coined the phrase cuffing season from Soul Tape 3.
Julian did that.
Oh, Julian did that?
Julian was responsible for it.
I didn't...
Yeah, don't do that.
Fab definitely didn't popularize it.
No, so it became a thing in 2011.
Fab took it from Twitter.
Like, it takes everything.
Yeah, no, it started before the song,
but he...
One day we're gonna get it.
Fab is the Facebook of rap.
Like, you know how Facebook gets everything
way later, but it gets popularized?
Facebook is bigger.
Facebook of rap.
Okay, got you.
He gets the memes late and then makes some songs be like...
Yeah, he does a great job.
He does an amazing job.
He's made a career of it, but actually...
And then he got cuffed.
and we never got a soul tape again.
Yeah, what the fuck?
Actually, if we don't get a soul tape,
this fucking Thanksgiving,
we're not,
we're not,
we're not doing it to another.
He switched it from soul tape.
He switched them to,
what do he call the new ones?
Summertime shootout.
Summertime shootouts.
He switched it from soltale.
Come on, fat.
I want some soul tape is,
wait a lot.
You know what's crazy
as I recently revisited the soul tapes
and they're actually really,
really good.
And also, he was dissing.
They're actually,
they're all three of them
are fucking incredible.
No, no, no, no, no.
phenomenal pieces of work.
Yeah.
They're fucking classics.
Let me clarify that.
I have always loved the soul tapes.
What I meant was they aged well.
They aged very well.
A lot of mixed tapes don't age well.
Love that tape.
So yeah, so we're here to break it down.
So, Rory, I got to ask you first.
As a 31-year-old man.
32, excuse me.
My industry age is 31.
Yeah, I got to give you your one.
There's a 32-year-old man and as a 40-year-old man,
as soon to be 41.
There has to be a vast difference in our,
cuffing season schedule,
schedule of opponents.
Yes.
You know, travel, away games,
which is home games.
I feel like at this point,
I'm just the vet that's like
just creeping around the league just to get
as much money as I can before I retire.
And they don't bring me in to really play.
It's just to help the rookies.
Yeah.
It's kind of like you're the player coach now.
Yeah, pretty much.
Player coach.
Let me get at least two more million dollars
so my kids can go to private school.
but I'm just, I'm really here to help out the point guards.
I am retired from cuffing season.
I played two seasons and didn't like it.
Two seasons out of 40.
Early injury took you out?
Yeah, decided to walk away from the game.
Who hurt you?
Nobody hurt me.
It's just, I didn't, I wasn't interested.
I was like Mike.
I wasn't, it wasn't no really like,
these are your baseball years?
Yeah, it was like, I'm just go do something else.
This is stupid.
What's funny is, cuffing season has been such a big part of pop culture forever.
I still don't necessarily know.
Does it mean that you go with the intention that it will just happen for the season?
Or am I really trying to cuff someone for a long-term relationship?
Yeah, because some people have played cuffing season and then it turned into a baby boom.
And then they couldn't get out of the cuff.
It's supposed to end when the weather turns.
So when spring starts, that's when cuffing season is supposed to act.
That drastically changes how you're going to scout, especially as an adult.
Like in your 30s, you would have to scout knowing this is going to end.
and what type of mental level or age the woman is.
Yeah, and as you get older,
there's different questions during the cuffing season, like scouting.
Because them 30-year-old chicks is not doing the seasonal thing.
And they're not letting you cuff of me.
We're freezing our eggs or we're doing it now.
If you were to scout, though, even though we did miss it,
what type of scout slash coach would you be?
Are you more of like the fundamentals?
Like, do you want your players to come from Villanova?
No, no.
Or you more like a renegade.
You want to put asses in the seats.
Yeah, I like the ones that are entertaining.
Yeah.
The ones, yeah.
Yeah, you're not going to make the playoffs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I like the ones that are going to sell some jerseys.
Yeah.
You know, yeah, I like the ones that are some spinning rims.
Yeah, fun to watch.
You don't have to really win, but just be fun to watch.
Good press conferences.
Yeah, make it interesting.
No vaccines.
No, no, no, no vaxes, please.
We don't know.
You got to stay on brand from all.
Only waxes, no vaxes.
So, yeah, so drafting is now September 1st of the 30th.
So now I have to ask as a 32-year-old man who has,
you know, you've, you've done your share festivals, you've done your share of R&B listening
sessions, you've done your share of, you've done your cuffing.
Yeah, you've done your share of you, you've seen the rooms. So I was fucked from Rip,
is what you're saying. You've seen the rooms. You know what's out there. You know what's out there.
I've moved around some rooms. So,
graciously. Are there any, uh, what they would call, uh, franchise, uh, changing players
in the, in the pool right now? Are there any, uh, star players that are going to come right
into the league and make an impact like a LeBron James.
The funny thing is when you get into your 30s, right?
When you're in your 20s, so much of your 20s is going into new rooms you've never been
in and meeting new people you've never met and going to places you've never seen.
So it's so very, it's very exciting and you do see candidates and players on that.
Once you get to 30, you start to figure out what you're comfortable with and you go to the same
rooms.
And those rooms are actually starting to get smaller because people did get in relationships
in the 20s.
So I'm not seeing new people.
I'm walking in and going,
huh,
you two?
Yeah.
Yeah,
we're both single,
huh?
We've been coming to this party
for 12 years.
It's just us left.
Maybe we should do it.
It's interesting now
because some of our favorite couples
are now single
going into a couple of season.
Who's your favorite?
Name some of your face.
Well, not none of mine,
but, you know,
social media.
Drika and Kevin Gates
are no longer a couple,
are they?
There's no idea who Drika is.
That's Kevin Gates's girlfriend,
long-time girlfriend?
Dirk in India.
Dirk and India are allegedly not together.
Larry Harvey is still single?
They gave Kevin Gates.
It's a lot of shit for dating his cousin.
Ari and money back,
I believe our split.
Is Lori Harvey still single?
Lori Harvey is always single even when she has a relationship.
She's just,
she's literally like a franchise.
She's gonna do it in one.
You put her in any offenses she's gonna shine.
That's just what she's.
She'll turn any man into a munch.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yo, that's her father.
She's the muncher.
She's munchy.
Lori Harvey?
She's munchy.
Munchy's munchy, but.
Munchy.
Munchy, bo's.
Yeah. It's Lorry Munchy.
He just called Lori Harvey,
Munchy boves and none of y'all laughed at that.
they're probably the same height
um
so yeah
it's uh
definitely has a good vertical jump
I just I don't know if any of these
are do women still want to be cuffed though
she
you speak for all women
you speak for all women
you literally speak for every single woman on the earth
I do not speak for all women
clear your throat before you speak for all of Syracuse New York
speak clear throat before you speak for women
yeah
she was munching is what she was doing
literally I'm over here munching
um
I do not
speak for all women. Let's just put that out there. But also I think women still want
relationships, definitely. But they're just, I think their standards have lifted and that's
making it hard for you guys. I was trying to think like, oh, maybe women still wanted to get
cuffed. And then I went to talk to a woman and she said, oh, you thought I was feeling
you? Eat my pussy and leave. Oh. Wow. It is aggressive. I was trying to talk to you now.
I don't want to scout. See, the tables have turned in the dating world. The table,
the women are becoming. I'll stick to intramural sports.
Yeah.
Professional shit is way too hard for me.
The women are becoming more aggressive.
Where's the beer softball league?
The women are tired of being the ones to get hurt.
So now it's like doggy dog.
Yeah.
They're going to hurt you before you're going to hurt.
But we're really shitty at getting hurt.
So that's why this mayhem is going to ensue.
It's not going to work.
Men are, we're not good at that.
So now that we're drafting, where is the ideal place for men to draft women
into their team for cuffing season?
Where's the ideal place that you want to meet a woman?
The bar.
Scouting would turn.
to texting, right? So drafting
drafting is what? The courtship via
text? Via text, dates, you know.
I feel like that's tryouts. Dates would be tryouts.
I feel like by October 1st because it's
really cold by then. It shouldn't be just dates. So you should be slamming by
October 1st. I think the tryouts are.
You can't slam during scouting? We live in, I mean, we live in New York.
Who you asking me? I thought that was the scouting.
If you're asking me, absolutely. We got to see what the handle like.
Listen, I break all rules when it comes to this scuffing season schedule.
That's just me, though.
I break all of these rules.
Do a lot of tampering?
What does that mean?
I mean, I'm not going to, I'm not going to incriminate myself, but I've done some tampering.
You're the Bill Belichick of the scouting?
Yeah, I've talked to some players.
Stealing plays.
I shouldn't have been talking to them.
I've definitely done that a few times.
Yeah, I've definitely done that a few times.
But I feel like the scouting drafting, which I guess would be texting, I think would change drastically in your 30s to your 20s as well.
Because at least in your 20s, it's like we can talk about our dream.
and what we're working on and what we want to be.
By 30, it's like, oh, did that whole dream thing work out for you?
It's like, where are you at with your miserable life?
So I didn't even, I didn't even know that honestly, that cuffing season was still something that was a big deal.
I thought that everybody just was kind of fucking everybody.
And, um, yeah, that's, if you get caught, you get caught.
It's a yearly season.
Realistically, the cuffing season is actually from December 1st to January 15th, which is like,
which is crazy to them.
A month in 14 days?
Yeah.
I don't even understand why the season.
Is that really being cuffed?
Yeah, that's like such a short window to cuff somebody.
Also, if there's a playoffs, January 16th to February 13, that that implies that there's
more than one person.
So that, like, no one's really cuffed.
Okay.
Here's where I think things could get dicey.
And let's move away from this.
Dicey.
Let's move away from this schedule because they're not.
Hold on.
I do want to get to preseason because that's where I think things get very complicated.
It's a long...
How preseason works, specifically in football,
is that a lot of the...
I love how you...
The correlations...
A lot of the backups play most of the game.
Yeah.
The starters kind of see, they're just there, you know,
to put the jersey on and wave, welcome back,
we're here, looking forward to game one.
All those other lower tier players
play pretty much all four quarters.
Now, if you are leading the pack in the scouting,
it's preseason.
I got to play the backups.
Mm-hmm.
And the majority of the time,
has to be with the backups.
Right.
Now the starter needs to sit on that bench
and shut the fuck up
and wait for game one.
Yeah.
While I let fucking second string,
third string, and fourth string
get their shit off.
Because you have to see if your second string
that shut the fuck up
was said with so much.
No, but it's true.
You have to see if the second string
has the ability to carry the team.
Yeah.
If one of the starters
have, you know,
sprain an ankle.
Exactly.
And it's like,
you'll let me see what I got coming off the bench
so that during the season,
I could make subs and, you know.
And you got to think of previous seasons.
We all come with baggage.
I've seen the way Mahomes scrambles.
It's very injury prone.
I need to make sure I have a solid backup.
A lot of movement.
Mahomes does a lot of cutting on those ankles.
You don't want to put too much pressure on them.
So I understand.
You do need to have players that, you know,
keeping the tuck, keeping it in the wing,
and just in case you need a sub.
Lower salary cap.
Yeah.
Practice squad.
Don't spend too much time with them.
And they understand, but you need a good sub.
A sub has to know her position.
They're hungry.
they want to play.
And on top of that, if they don't work out for your team, like, you know, some team
coaches have good relationships.
I'd be like, yo, this cornerback didn't really work out for me, but I see what you got
going on with your scheme.
Like, they might be able to fill in.
Yeah.
They worked, you know, they worked well with me.
I believe they may work better with you.
The motto is each one to each one.
I believe is what that is.
So, yeah, the rules are.
We're too old for this, man.
We have wait to.
No, no.
So, hold on.
Yeah, let me address that real quick.
Hay to interrupt you.
Roy, this is something, I'm speaking for the fans right now because I be on the same wavelength as
The fans are tired of you saying you're too old.
You're not old at all.
You feel old.
No, you're missing it.
He's white.
Yeah, we age very bad.
Right now, white years are like doggy.
He's 70.
Yeah, he's 70 in white years.
He's going to clock out any day, I promise you.
Yeah, white people ageing dog years for sure.
Say he's going to clock out.
I have, what?
You hear my hands?
Yeah, yeah.
Carpontone.
I hear it.
Really bad.
Look at that old shit is all fucked up.
Yeah.
I hear you.
Anyways.
Having carpal tunnel with your podcast.
They're like, what do you got carpal tunnel from holding the fucking mic?
Yeah.
Yeah.
His hand, he can't, he sleeps like this now.
Yeah. Hey, yo.
My fist, my fist game was crazy in my 20s.
It's catching up with me.
It's an old football injury.
I agree, Bays.
Oh.
Okay, I have said a lot of times that I am old and I'm not old.
I am too old to be doing the cuffing season Twitter joke thing.
I do think I'm past that point in my life.
I am a little too old for that.
Yeah.
You think otherwise?
No. I think you need to like settle down, get married, have children.
Even if it's not that, I think people in their 30s should, well, not should, you can do it what the fuck you want.
Should start to date with purpose to some degree if they want to be in a relationship eventually.
This shit is for kids.
It's for jokes. That's why I said, let's move away.
No, no, but this is to some degree accurate in your 20s as far as scouting, drafting trials, preseason, cuffing season, all that bullshit.
So when did you first try, when did you first participate in a cuffing season?
What year was it?
Hmm.
It was funny.
I probably didn't really participate in cuffing season until after college.
I never really took any girl that serious.
Oh, you did four years and then went to the drive?
High school, I didn't really have like a serious thing.
I was just trying to get my dick wet.
Like that's really what I was trying to do.
So yeah, probably not until after college that I was like, hmm, maybe a girlfriend could
be cool instead of just this emptiness of fucking people that don't really like me.
Because that is an emptiness.
So you want to start.
to sleep with people and have sex with people that you see being around for the long run.
Well, someone that just recently went on a sound journey, energy can be transferred, especially
sexually, sexually.
And bumminess is sexually transmitted.
So, like, when you fuck people, yeah, your energy is being transferred.
Absolutely.
You're getting some bum juice on you.
If she's a bum or he's a bum.
Absolutely.
So have you guys ever heard of the term Ninja Cuff?
Well, according to Rory, he said that I had to hear of it.
I don't remember hearing.
It was a Twitter thing.
at least New York Twitter.
What is Ninja cuffing?
What is that?
The sneaky cuff where a girl cuffs you and...
You don't realize that she's cuffing you.
The next thing,
you know you in a relationship.
Julian's about to have a fucking coronary.
I hate that shit.
Do women cuffing?
Yes.
They figure it out.
I feel like women just...
They should wear cufflets.
Yeah, I feel like now women have just turned into like complete savages and y'all just do whatever the fuck y'all want.
It has changed.
Don't let the loud ones speak for the majority.
I agree with Demaris.
I think the perception is.
and the narrative out there is that women are the,
it's not as crazy as it's scored with the music.
Yeah.
I was going to say, hey.
I'm, I'm telling you.
Scored with the music.
Yeah, the season is being scored.
All these women aren't savages.
Just like how all these niggas are not drug dealers.
Like it's, like, it's just, you make the music that sells.
Lotto did a press run and said, I'm in a loving relationship.
You said what?
Lotto went on a press run.
I was like, yeah, I'm in a loving relationship.
Yeah.
Well, now.
So is Megan.
So is JT.
So is Cardi.
So is Cardi.
So is Nikki.
Yeah.
So I think there are some women examples of women out there that are in relationships.
So is the city girls with Puff and Uzi.
Double cuffed.
Double cuff love.
One of them niggas.
I could be the one you lean on.
One of them niggas going to get their heart broken.
Who y'all think is going to be the first one?
Puff.
Puff.
I actually think his heart is already broken.
Yo, Miami, she's going to break that, man.
We ain't going to get music.
Wait.
Oh, no, no.
You're not.
We ain't going to get music from bad boy for 37 years after young Miami crushed this
Nick of Puff, man.
That young girl
going to send that nigger
to the hospital.
You know how I know
Puff got his heart
broke?
Because like a week ago,
two weeks ago,
he did an IG live
and like save some of it
and put it on his IG
and he said,
God sent me here to save the community.
And I said, oh yeah,
she broke his heart.
He is trying to find
anything to distract
from that heartbreak.
Oh, man.
Oh, and happy birthday
of young Miami.
I think she just celebrated
a birthday a few days ago.
So happy birthday of her
and please don't,
just let Puff down easy.
It was so funny.
I recently watched her
just a quick thing.
I recently watched her podcast, which congratulations.
It was nominated for a Best Hip Hop Platform at one of the awards.
Good.
She's a good.
Yeah, she interviews hip-hop people.
She had Lori Harvey on, didn't she?
No.
Wait, hold on.
She's never had Lori Harvey on, no.
Lori Harvey's not hip-hop?
I feel like Lori Harvey and-Lory.
Larry Harvey more hip-hop than y'all, niggas.
I, wow.
Oh, no.
She can have it.
Listen.
Lori Harvey can have the culture.
I don't want to be part of it.
You know how many bars about Lori Harvey is hip hop?
No, she's a big part of hip hop.
One thousand percent.
No, she, but yeah, she recently had Megan on.
And they were flirting or doing their little thing, whatever, because they like each other.
So, Megan was like, you know, well, when you're done with this nigga, like, you know, come holl at me.
And young Miami was like, what nigger?
And Megan looked around.
Listen.
Megan looked around at all the, all the fucking Delion.
Yeah, no, now he's trying to save the community.
And Megan points at the Delian tequila and the Delian glasses and said, and the revolt signs and was like, this nigga.
Like, what do you mean?
And Miami was like, I'm single.
On that nigga platform.
Yeah, your shit.
But they've been said they were.
Only thing we partner on is content, puff.
Uh-uh.
You know there's a scheme somewhere in there.
And you can throw in revolting.
I fuck with her, roe.
I really fuck with her.
She's going to break Puff's heart, man.
She's hilarious.
She's going to break Puff's heart, man.
I think it's happened already.
Can one of you guys cuff a famous songstress, please, so that we can take this spot?
We've been talking about this for a year.
Well, I can only speak for me.
I'm trash, and I don't think any songstress, really.
Like a rapper or R&B singer?
Either one.
A rapper will probably break your heart.
I thought Mawls are alien.
What's the R&B?
I am way more scared of Summer Walker than Meg the Stalian.
Like, and it's not even close.
What?
Summer would break.
break my heart way faster than me will break my heart.
And I'm aware, guys, neither of them would date me.
I just, internet, I understand.
I think that's a bad comparison because I think Mega break your heart before summer.
Omega breaks something else on this little nigga before.
She'd break my fucking back.
She'll break this nigga pelvic before she gets him.
Heart.
Yeah, okay.
That's the last thing that's going to break on heart.
You see Saza, Meg?
Y'all will come into the podcast one day and just hear me in the, in the master bedroom going,
put me down.
Put me down.
Put me down.
Put me down.
Put me down.
Put me down, Megan.
This isn't funny anymore.
Put me down.
My feet aren't touching the floor anymore.
First of all, dating a woman that could pick you up is fucking crazy.
Megan would put my shirt over my head.
I can stop it.
I hate when you do this.
She definitely, she definitely squat you.
Where does your brain go?
Julie.
Can Megan squat him?
Would you ask?
I think, Meg.
How much better is that?
I'm like a buck 60.
62.
Bro, she could
three sets of 20.
Three sets of 20.
Yeah.
Oh, for sure.
She has a,
no, I would be the.
Three cents of 20.
You know when you,
30 second reps, too.
Only 30 second rest.
You know when you do lightweight
and a lot of reps,
that I would be the lightweight
from Meg.
I'd be the toning.
I'd be the super max set.
She would definitely super max you.
But yeah,
I don't know if cuffing season
is still relevant to you guys out there,
but if it is.
First of all,
let's not get away from this.
There's songstress
that I know would break more.
is art.
Break my heart?
Yeah.
I think seven would get them all out of here.
Oh, that's a good.
My heart.
Yeah.
I think me and seven would actually be cool.
I don't think it would be a heartbreak thing.
That's my point exactly.
I think you guys would hit it off tremendously in the beginning.
And you think, like, I think you guys would hit it off so well that while you guys
recording is like, wow, you're like my best friend.
It would be part.
It would be that.
That's when it goes left.
Wait, who would say that?
Me?
I think you both would say that.
I think I would look a girl and I say you're like my best.
You know, Roar, you think I would look a girl and I'd be like, you're
You're like my best friend.
Seven, I do.
Get the fuck out of it.
I would never see that.
Maul, you never did that.
That's what girl?
You're like my best.
You think I looked at, you're, de Maris.
You think I looked at the girl on her face and told her you're like my best friend?
You think I said that?
Like, not like, real shit, like full transparency.
Like, I never.
Like, I was out of dating.
Like, I would have a girl like this before.
Like, you're like my homie.
Like, you feel like more like my friend than anything.
You guys.
Y'all watch too many videos.
Like, see that.
You know, you're in them.
I mean, I did one video and I was like the ain't shit friend.
Yeah, like, come on.
I'm not telling a girl, yo, you, you like my best friend.
What if she is, though?
I ain't going to laugh.
I feel like I knew you my whole life.
What?
Shut your stupid.
That's when they know they're cheating on you.
As soon as you tell her girl, yo, you're like my best friend.
She's like, I'm definitely about to cheat on this thing.
What?
You don't respect no nigga that tell you you're like his best friend.
You walk all over the time.
Now I feel shitty.
Because I've definitely told a woman because she was my best friend.
And that's why you had to go on a sound journey and feel like a bussoil was going through the chest,
taking your heart out your chest, the same way all of these women took your heart out your chest.
See?
Yeah, put your blindfold on and just listen to the rest of the same time.
Night night, night.
I'm here.
I'm here with you.
I'm here with you.
Like, yeah, that's what you know.
No, y'all got it from here on now.
But I wouldn't mind dating an R&B songstress.
Why not?
If I like her enough and we can actually like, we click.
Yeah, I would.
Who?
So for cuffing season?
For cuffing season?
I don't know if I want to do it for cuffing season, though.
It has to be by accident.
Like, I can't go into it saying, yo, it's cuffing season.
I'm out to cuff this R&B girl.
I'm like, see where it goes.
It has to just like,
happened by accident.
And Cuffa season is some bullshit because I feel like the best time to be in a relationship
actually is during the summertime.
Whoa.
Whoa.
You're on your old on that one.
When I say that relationships, like you get to do, there's so much more you can do in
the summertime.
So if you want to actually enjoy your relationship, yeah, an actual relationship.
We're talking about fucking just for a few months and leaving each other.
That's what Cuffing season is.
Okay.
You're talking about love.
Love is good in all seasons.
Yeah. Yeah.
Love conquers all.
I don't know if you heard about it.
Love conquers fall.
You can go.
You can go, Roy.
Thank you so much for your contribution.
I don't know if you know about that.
That love thing that's going around.
People are catching it and they're holding on to it forever.
Like herpes.
Wow.
Why did you have to go there?
A little bit.
I have a question.
So since cuffing season, it's the first three months lead up to the end of November,
which is Thanksgiving.
What was your first experience bringing someone home for Thanksgiving for the first time?
Oh, mine's was terrible.
Do you have autism?
No, not that one.
Jesus, to me.
And first of all, y'all was eating burgers off the grill for Thanksgiving?
Yeah, no.
I'm not bad at it.
Who's eating burgers on Thanksgiving?
Yo, if you go to somebody house and they pull out a platter of burgers for Thanksgiving,
that's it, man.
You got to be like, yo, this is no way this relationship is working.
I don't care what burgers.
Impossible burgers.
It's impossible that y'all pulled out burgers on Thanksgiving.
You're lying in me.
Y'all has to be lying.
This is a fucking prank.
Burgers on Thanksgiving?
Save these for Tuesday.
Oh, yeah.
Like, I would absolutely call the police.
I'm like, yo, fan, they got burgers in here, man.
It got to be a body in here.
So we're like, you burgers?
Just having a burger and mashed potatoes together.
Hey, what is this?
And I was just about to address that.
That's a nasty side.
Why do all white people make mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving?
Because that's what the Indians taught us before we murdered them.
The Indians?
Yeah, they're Indian.
The Indians.
They're Native.
The Native American.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
go back to your first, do it,
your first experience with a girl bringing home.
Her family was just,
I learned that her family really didn't like each other.
But I was there to see it happen.
So a family.
No, no, no, no, no, you don't understand.
Wait, you were the guest?
I was her guest.
Okay.
Like, you don't understand.
It was like the uncle that they didn't think was coming,
showed up.
Oh, he always does.
Like, and no, but it was like about to be,
like, I think the pops might have went upstairs
of God and shit.
Like, I think he went upstairs and came back down,
strap because he was sitting
way too calm and I'm looking at him like
I saw you go up them steps and you came back down with a whole
different energy like you know when the nigga got it he's like I'm just
waiting for it to pop soon as he start moving crazy I'm shooting them you know what's
hilarious mall was way more disgusted with someone serving burgers for
Thanksgiving than bringing a pistol to Thanksgiving
no because I know the energy he was so he was like yeah I mean I get I see
how you walking he got it on him yeah it's just don't serve me a burger
it's a different energy when you got it on you
Like your energy is like, yo, fan, whatever y'all want to do, I'm with it.
Yeah.
Just trust me.
I'm ready to go there.
So I noticed that energy in the room immediately.
And I'm just like, I'm sitting on the couch.
And she just kept telling me, yo, whenever you're ready.
Like, whenever you're ready, we can go.
Yeah.
And I'm like, no, I want to see this unfold.
You guys, oh, yeah, yeah.
I need to see this.
I want to see it happen.
Like, don't say you want to leave now.
Like, the uncle had, don't fuck with the pops is here.
He got his girlfriend and nobody like.
The cousin is here.
Like, and he don't like none of y'all.
and the emo sister just came out the back room
and she's still on her phone.
She don't want to speak to nobody.
This is fucking TV.
I'm not leaving that.
And I've definitely been in weird situations
with women and their families going nuts.
Like, hey, I'm sure this is a lot.
We can leave.
We're like, oh, I thrive in this environment.
I'm chilling.
If you want to go home, go ahead.
I'm staying here.
We need to do a family clash for Thanksgiving.
Like my family and your family.
We need to get like a big ass.
Oh, my God.
That would be amazing.
Get like a big ass banquet hall and just like,
just let it happen.
That would be fucking amazing.
Oh, my God.
I mean, the queen is dead.
We have reason to celebrate.
That is true, yes.
We have reason to celebrate.
And Thanksgiving, we were trying to get away from the queen.
And we were like, there's, England's so terrible.
Oh, look at these nice people that are teaching us things.
Let's slaughter them.
But England, way worse than us.
We have to get away from these awful people.
And people have been sending me, like, things on Queen Elizabeth.
I get it.
Tax reform, whatever.
She was, that whole regime is fucking crazy.
They said, I'm so, I can't stand how.
Maul knows nothing, absolutely nothing about Europe's history, but knows, I mean, England's
history, but knows everything about the history of Megan Markle's outfit. I'm like, well, that's
interest. The fashion. He cares about the fashion. Not the politics. Exactly. I don't go
a fuck about that family thing. Ball's passion is the fashion. No, it's not even that. I just
thought that that was dope. Like, I like petty shit. Like, oh, I'm with you. She threw a shot.
Like, yeah. That wasn't a fashion. That was just a shot. That was a shot. Like, I respect that.
I know a shot when I see a shot. With the queen, Elizabeth did.
and her family.
I'm not from England.
I'm from America.
I don't get what fuck about that.
I don't want to get all the way away from this theory of mall dating a songstress.
Let's say mall bag Normani.
Beautiful woman.
Beautiful woman.
We don't know her relationship status.
This is a hypothetical podcast situation.
Yeah.
Julian Mike Kaiser.
Sorry.
I'm saying sorry to Mike for it.
She signed to Atlantic.
I don't know.
For what?
I thought I said Julian.
You were signed to Atlantic too at one point.
Sorry Julian.
Sorry Julian.
I don't think you would be able to handle
what comes with being a songstress sometimes in videos
because she was sucking face with Chris Brown
and rolling all through that swimming pool together.
I don't think you could be on set and be supportive that day.
Because they got to do it.
That's what's working now.
Is two singers pretending to like each other?
No, I'm secure enough for that.
I wouldn't mind that.
That wouldn't bother me.
you of all people, and I've heard a lot of your
uncensored theories off mic
about women and dealing with certain types of people,
you are not standing right behind the gaffer
while Chris Brown tongues down your queen.
And cheering her on.
The gaffer.
So what do you think that I would be doing?
You think I would like yell cut and try to fight, Chris?
No, I think you would get the treatment
and be like, oh, baby, that's the treatment for the video.
Oh, yeah.
Like, I want to be supportive and look.
Chris Brown, tongue.
No, you ain't doing this shit.
No, I'm not that type of guy.
I don't, I don't, that type of shit doesn't bother me.
If it's, if it's work and it's part of her profession and that's fine.
Now, if, if the video's over and, you know, we're chilling in and Chris is texting her like, hey, what's up?
I'm like, I see now, hold on.
The video is done.
It's in final editing.
Like, you don't have to shoot nothing.
Nah, but, but they were, they were on set.
You know, in between takes, like, video shoots take a while.
So you start to get to know people you work with.
And they're both like singers and songwriters and both extremely talented people.
It's probably like, oh, we should work together at some point.
Oh, like, take my map down.
And you know, like, you'd be in a studio late, so, like, 2 a.m.
Like, let me see where Norm's at.
Let me see where Moni at.
Yeah.
And they collabing.
Yeah, we're not doing that, though.
You're not that.
I support your career, but we're not doing that.
We're not doing that.
Remember that's Safari, uh, not disrecord, but like his response to like Meek and Nikki.
He's like, something, some, some, and then you kissed Nas.
Yo, I'm telling you, Rory's, yo, his brain retains the wildest pieces of fucking.
culture that I've ever
fucking noticed. Like, how do you remember that?
Well, we're talking about. Why do you remember Safari's
significant others in videos watching
them kiss? I know what we're talking about. But why does your brain
remember what Safari said? Because
I know Safari was probably holding
that in for three years.
And the way his tone went and then you
kiss, Nause.
His voice was shaking.
Like, he's been waiting to get that shit off.
Yeah, Safari knew then it was over.
You can't just kiss Esco.
It takes it. But you do have to be, you do have to
be like a different type of guy for your girl to be a star and celebrity and entertainer
and then see her kissing another guy and then come on. I probably couldn't have done it in my
20s. Now if like my girl was like an actor or even something had to do with I could be fine with it.
I would be totally fine with it. And then knowing me, I'm probably texting somebody else on the side
anyway that I shouldn't be texting. So it's like we even. Fuck it. No, but that's like I could cheat.
You can't cheat. Fucking crazy. That's my motto. Look.
They kill me for that motto.
That's my motto.
Where is that?
I think I cheat way better.
That's why.
I don't think women know how to really like cheat without.
You have women all the way from.
No, they know how to cheat, but they get.
Damaris got you.
Look at her.
You speak for all women.
We're not saying you cheat, but because you speak for women, you need to speak for cheaters.
Real quick.
Who chees better men and women?
Women.
See?
You see why?
Why do you feel that way?
Because women are better at keeping secrets and being sneaky.
Y'all think y'all are.
You know it's not, you know it's not being sneaky if we know that y'all are sneaky, right?
Yeah, but we got to prove
We got to prove the sneak though
Huh?
We got to prove the sneak though
No you don't
You do
I told you I gave y'all to gym
Years ago what to do it
You don't pay enough attention
You don't pay enough attention
To women
Figured out the entire Tupac
And Biggie murder
We know every fact
No one's been arrested
You gotta prove the sneak
I can put it
We can have all the other
We gotta prove it
Women aren't good at
Because if a woman
Really loves you
Or is really into you
She's not really good at
I was feeling you
Not you just a much
She's not really good at
Munch
She's not good at lunch
She's not good at lunch
She's not good at lying.
Like, women are not good at lying
if they really like you.
They're not.
Yeah.
Somebody stopped him.
I don't even know if I really want to acknowledge this
of how far off you are.
He's so wrong.
Women are incredible liars.
No, women are incredible lies to niggas
they know they can lie too.
That's the part you are.
How would they know until they try?
No, that's what I'm saying.
They're going to try.
Let me put it to you like this.
If a bitch ever got caught lying,
she ain't like you that much.
If she ever got caught lying to you,
like you that much. That's the point. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Okay, she ain't like you that much if
she got caught lying because a bitch that really love you and she's sneak and do some shit,
she ain't got no business doing, you will never know. Yeah, you're on the munch menu. That's not
true. That's not true. That's not true. Women lie, women lie to men that they, first of all
know that they can get the lie off with. Women know, women don't lie to men. Like, I'm telling you,
they don't lie to men that they know like, nah, he's going to. Have you ever been lied to?
Who me? Mm-hmm. Of course. Everybody's been.
lied to. But it wasn't, but I'm saying it wasn't my, the women that lied to me, the situation
wasn't that serious. So it didn't even fucking matter. It wasn't like, this is my girl. We live
together. We're in a relationship. Like, it wasn't nothing like that. But you were still the
guy she knew she could lie to. No, no, no. Women are going to lie. But what I'm saying is,
they're not going to lie. Like, if you're like, if you have a girlfriend, right, and y'all live,
y'all live together, y'all, a couple, you're really together. If she's, if she knows you by
now, like, nah, my nigga ain't going for that. Like, he, he ain't, he ain't, he ain't, he ain't
He knows me.
He knows my patterns.
He knows my habits.
He knows my energy.
He can tell.
She's not going to move up.
She's going to identify them and figure out how to cheat outside of her patterns.
Okay.
So this is, I think, Ma, I get, I think what you're getting shit misconstrued on.
Women know who they can and can't play with.
And I think that there's a, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
What you're saying is.
Line isn't playing with you?
It is.
Okay.
No.
Okay.
So it is.
I wanted to see.
You're not listening to what I'm, you're not listening to what I'm, you're not listening to what I'm, you're not listening to.
you're not listening to what I'm saying.
So I've been with people that I know I can't get some shit.
Like I can't sneak and get some shit off with him.
Like I'm not even going to play with him like that because I know if I do,
it'll be over and I really, really like him.
But if something goes down that he does not, that he won't like.
And I know that he won't like it if he finds out about it,
women become extremely good at fucking lying and not wanting to get caught because of how much
they like that person.
I'm not even just talking about things with cheating.
Just shit that you know you won't like.
Like I know that this person won't like this.
I'm going to keep this secret forever.
I'm going to die with this.
I'm not telling anybody.
Like, that's what I want to say that women are better at lying and sneaking and hiding
things than men are.
Like, you're going to have to see the Chris Brown video when it premieres to the world.
Like, I'm not going to tell you the call time.
Like, it's that kind of thing.
But you're right.
Women don't play with men.
They really fuck with.
Yeah, women don't play.
They're not going to do certain women are not going to lie to you.
They're not going to play certain games with a man that they know is like, he's just not
going for that.
I can't get that off on him.
He's not stupid.
Imagine if Normani got the,
yo,
I'm in the studio line off on you.
Can't get that off on me.
And you may,
you may well be in the studio.
You've used it too much?
Yeah, like, you've been in the,
she's an artist.
I know everyone at Quad, babe.
Yeah, like, yeah, like, I know everybody at Quad.
You're not in the A room.
No, no, no, no, no.
But women know, they know what they got,
when they got a guy that's like,
he's not, he doesn't really, you know,
he's not in a mixy crowd.
He don't really know people.
He's not, you know, he's not as sharp on his feet.
he doesn't really know lies when he sees him he doesn't really like he's not paying attention to her
her patterns he's not paying attention to the you know the way she moves like they know they know
and usually that comes from a woman feeling like she's lacking something in her relationship with a man
like maybe he don't pay her enough attention maybe he don't really get to you know spend time
getting to know the things that she's into the things that she likes so maybe that is why
she's cheating because the other dude is that exactly that like he is really paying attention to
notice when she changes her hair color when she cuts her hair
You know, things like that.
You're stupid shit that women like, but whatever.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to look at you when I said stupid.
The red looks really nice.
No, you just sat down.
He looked me dead.
No, no, no.
I've had this right here for two months,
Rory just said.
The red looks very nice, but you died it yesterday.
Wow.
I love the truth.
It brings out the eyebrows.
The red brings out.
Is that an umbrella, I believe?
Okay.
White toes.
Love them.
White toes red hair.
She a liar.
Don't care.
That's the liar.
That's the liar package right there.
White toes red hair, you can be lying your ass off.
Whatever.
Throw a jean jacket in there?
You fucked.
There is a correlation between women wearing jean jackets and lying, though.
You thought I was just saying some shit out of nowhere.
I'm dead.
Women that wear jean jackets are a huge lie.
Yes.
That's the fact.
Yeah, y'all got different color.
Y'all got dark blue jean jacket, light blue, black.
What are the indicators when you go into a woman's room that you know you're going to close?
We've been through this one.
They have loved happiness, pray, eat love, anything with letters on their wall.
That's an easy deal.
thing Rhinestone on their bed like the
A dream catcher.
Yeah.
Her saying,
Oh, the pussy gonna be crazy if she got a dream catcher.
Her saying, hey, let's fuck.
Like, you know, stuff like that.
You ain't here, DeMaris, though.
How pussy stink if she got a dream catcher?
I might roll a demarice on that one.
I will say this.
It definitely is not sugared.
I'm glad she's, no.
Wait.
Wait.
No way a chick with a dream catcher has a shaved box.
Looks like Eddn's back.
She might not have shaved armpits.
Oh, the armpits is definitely here if she got a dream catcher for sure.
She goes to Swinger conventions in New Mexico.
If a woman lives in a-
Damn, Rory.
Is that specific?
I'm sorry.
I was just trying to think of where you could buy a dream catcher.
New Mexico, no?
Soho.
Word.
Go to Soho.
Mom.
You look perplexed.
I'm just, I'm so glad DeMara said that a chick pussy's thinking.
the dream catcher.
We can't say that.
We can't say that.
We can't say that.
I can't even ask if her womb is good.
Maul, that's crazy.
Like, I don't think you understand how crazy that is, bro.
How?
Just word it better.
Just say, do you want children in the near future?
And then she'll tell you whether she can have children or not.
Because if she can't have children, she'll say, yeah, I do want kids.
But she's going to unfortunately.
So if I'd be like, yo, is your womb good?
She can't just be like, no, I can't.
Like, what's the difference?
Like, yo, is your womb good?
Actually, no, it's not.
Okay.
So that's a very awkward.
So now what?
Okay, cool.
It's not good.
You answered my question.
Like, what's you eating for dessert?
Let's move on.
Like, I'm not harping on that.
They're going to call you fucking Andrew Tate after this podcast.
All of the women who are unable to have children, please forgive us for the insensitive way we are.
I'm not being.
If you're trying to get to know somebody and you ask that question, like I have, you say it worded differently.
But I'm saying it's the same shit.
Yeah, you can word things to be like.
less insensitive.
You can't ask if the womb is good.
But what if the, so,
see, it's only a problem.
How is she supposed to answer?
No, no, no, no, no.
Because I can't have children and it actually is the worst thing in my life.
But this is why it's bad though, because if the womb is a good, she's just going to
like, no, I'm good.
If the womb is good.
I'm good.
Ask if the oven's working.
See?
Look at, look at mall thinking every woman would answer as if they were a female
mall.
Like, nah, that's good, bro.
Yeah, why not?
My womb is hitting.
Why not?
Just let me know what the womb is.
What is hitting for?
Is it good?
Like women, women feel very invalidated as a woman if they're unable to have children.
That's like a very big personal dialogue.
So you just shouldn't ask at all?
You should.
No.
No, we're not saying that there's better ways to ask.
I'm saying, are you able to carry children?
No, are you interested in having children in the near future?
Are you interested in having children?
That was kind of like the same thing right now.
That's what I'm saying.
So, okay, are you interested in having children in the near future?
You can be interested in having children, but you can't.
So then now what?
No, because a woman is going to tell you if she can't have kids.
She's going to tell.
I'm not being a sister.
If she can't have kids, she'll tell.
Then that gives her the chance to tell you that information.
And you guys can call me pussy, but there is a world where you can say things nicer to people to be less offensive.
Like one thing could mean the exact same thing.
But maybe because it's a sensitive topic, we should say it just a tiny bit differently instead of, yo, is that one work or what, bitch?
I didn't say that.
Maybe you could say, hey, I see, I see kids.
in my future.
I didn't say that.
See, I didn't do all of that.
No, Ball Tate went crazy.
No, I didn't, I didn't say that.
That was Rory Tate.
I didn't say that.
Never said,
Is that the Tate brothers?
I would never say no shit like that.
But if it's saying, yo, it's like, you know.
But I get what you saying.
Ma, get that off.
I want to see, get that off on tour.
I'm not asking.
She's going to smack him across his head.
Do that during the speed dating.
No, I'm not asking.
And Maul said what that womb do, he's probably saying this.
He probably walks in the kitchen.
He says, I don't hear my dinner cooking.
I don't smell nothing
Yeah, why not?
Yeah, I don't smell nothing
The stove is cold
Did you bleach these?
What starch did you use?
Don't make me sound like that
I'm not a piece of shit guy
Well, you might be, but I don't think you're a shit person
I'm not sure he's the fuck out on that one, but
No, it's not
You've never met a girl that said he's a piece of shit
I haven't met him.
But again, we've never met any woman you've ever dealt with
Exactly, exactly.
But if I was.
was a piece of shit.
No, I think you're arguing against our point.
No, it's not.
If I was a piece of shit, you would know, you would, you would have heard it.
You would have saw it.
You would have been like, yo, yeah, there's mad girls walking around like, yo, he's a piece
of shit.
But we don't run in, I don't know the circles that.
Yeah.
I don't know where you're frolicking as far as women go.
Senior citizen homes.
I mean, you know, women I date are not really out there like that.
You know, I'm sorry.
Excuse me.
Oh, whoa.
This is going off the rails.
He says senior citizen homes.
So I balanced it for you.
I mean, y'all met, I met some girls that I dated, though.
Yeah, absolutely.
Oh, I didn't know we was allowed to say that.
Yeah, we did.
I didn't know we was allowed to say that.
Yeah, so why you make it seem like y'all haven't met any women that know me and that?
But I got to get them.
I can't get them while they're fucking you.
I need post fuck.
I need the post-up.
Don't give me the post-it you get with right now.
You're not going to see them around me though.
I want the one with like a bad taste in her mouth.
Why would that?
But why would they be around me if we're not dating anymore?
I want the damaged ones.
Even if you didn't do anything wrong, I just want the damaged ones.
I don't do anything.
All my relationships were.
women in pretty
pretty cool.
You give him like the Derek Jeter gift basket?
No, it's just kind of like,
yo, listen, is that a rumor or is that true?
It's true.
No, it's true.
Just because he didn't give you one, Ed and doesn't mean he doesn't give everybody else.
And that's why I'm upset.
What was in the gift bag?
It was a sign baseball.
A jersey.
Yeah, everything to remember him and how great he was.
Here's my 250th home run baseball.
A match for walking him.
the person you're cuffing during cuffing season
and you get it to preseason
and she has a frame signed Derek Jeter jersey
like, bitch, you don't like baseball.
How'd you get that signed jersey?
Oh, you know how she got it signed.
You know exactly how she got a sign.
Derek Jeter is sick for signing.
In here, he signed it while he shit was hanging up.
He signed it in here.
Would you sign like microphones and give them to women?
That's fire.
That's not fired to marriage.
Like maybe an upside-down hat or something.
You'd be like, oh, wear this.
No.
Merch.
I'm not giving them.
girl merch, bro.
Give this to your next.
No, I'm not giving,
I'm not handing out merch.
You know what's interesting about our merch?
Because you know, a lot of tour merch and regular merch is,
it's supposed to be low quality.
You're supposed to move a lot of it.
Ours are so dope.
I'm not giving that shit to nobody.
I don't even have merch.
Even if we fuck, you got to pay for this.
This is a nice hoodie.
It ain't a merch hoodie.
It's a nice hoodie.
You.
Shit better than John Elliott.
No, I think, I think we should have like some specialty merch.
that like we only give the like the john the hos we don't have this is podcasting guys we're
we're not rappers but that i think of what's why like they're like yo there's no podcast
groupies in the world where you get the pink worry a mauddy from there's definitely podcast
groupies are there oh we got man y'all sit up here and play dumb if y'all want to man i are our
podcast group wait hold on on don't on did we ever tell that we we told the la story yeah yeah
on mike okay what l a story when bender when bender got a
coasted by a girl that was
We did tell that on my right
Okay I don't want to repeat shit but okay I do take it back
There is such thing as podcast movies
No but I don't just I don't just shadow that to podcast
I think that young lady was just a little
Special
It was something that was
Burger off the grill yeah it was something else
It was something else going on there
You know how my brain retains really weird things right?
Yes absolutely so you remember in loving basketball
When Quincy's trying to confront his father of why he cheated on his mother
Uh huh
and was Zeke, Zeke McCall?
Yes.
Zeke was trying to explain like,
you're about to go to league too
and you're going to have these old, right?
You'll learn, yeah.
And like, I thought he was being dramatic
when he was like,
got a handful of them make it to the lobby.
And then one of them makes it on the elevator.
And then what's you going to do
when she at your door?
I'd never believed in any of that
until that woman ended up in that.
I'm like, oh yeah, you can get tricked into this.
They all end up in the DMs.
Yeah, but that situation was a little,
that was a little weird, though.
That one was like a little,
you can't tell me she was the first one in the venue y'all she was there before me yeah but she kind of snuck past the parameters of the security there was no security by the way but she kind of like snuck path because she she kind of blended in with looking like she was with somebody that was with us like who thought she was some shit peach was about to hit like i really did like all right peach so yeah so yeah so pige was in l a la yes pige was at every single one of our show because we was all in the room talking about you're like
talking about it after.
Yeah,
I can't tell me that in your five to seven years of podcast and that there were no groupies.
Well,
you got to realize we didn't,
we didn't do a,
we did some,
we did some shows later on,
but it was really like moving from the venue back to like the hotel.
It wasn't really like,
hanging out.
Our tour schedule for the most part was always shitty.
It was literally get to a city,
don't even shower,
go to meet and greet,
hotel,
5 a.m.
Yeah.
You need to want it.
I need some passion.
Yeah.
So I couldn't do a quick.
groupy thing during that tour.
I did it one time and I told you I hated it.
I would never do it again. Oh. I liked her though. I was mad.
Didn't you say she started like saying shit from the episode?
Oh, that's weird. Like during?
He was hitting that shit. That's crazy.
That's crazy. That's crazy.
Fuck. He's an eight.
Wow, you really are in eight.
Oh my God. That was way too good.
Wait, what?
With Demaris.
Tone.
The laugh is creeping me out more.
How many times you fake an orgasm?
Why is she laughing?
She knows exactly what I'm getting at.
Are you drunk?
I'm grown now.
I don't fake orgasm.
The first time you did fake one though,
were you a little nervous and insecure?
We mean the first time I fake.
So you mean my first, what, five years of having sex?
Yeah, like how did you go into
faking the orgasm?
Well, women.
Did you go into it thinking, all right,
I'm going to fake an orgasm?
Or in real time, you're like, fuck it.
What I'll say is that a lot of women also learn how to have sex,
the same way men learn how to have sex,
and that's from porn at a young age.
So a lot of, I know you guys have had the women who like sound like porn stars and you're
like, bitch, I am not that good.
Like calm the fuck.
Like really seriously, show.
Yeah, like I'm not really an eight.
It was a lot.
I'm a four, but I'm a good listener.
Yeah.
What?
Okay.
Sorry.
But, yeah.
So we just, you know, we think that at a young age, I'm speaking for myself and a lot of my friends, we thought that we were supposed to be loud.
Like we were just supposed to be loud.
And then as you start having sex more and more, you learn that.
Shut the fuck up.
No, you learn what makes.
You learn what makes men get off.
So once you get to the point where you realize, oh, I'm not going to get off from this.
So let me start with the, oh, my God, the ship of a see.
We don't need the demo.
be harder and yes, common as pussy is your, all that shit you get into because you want him to get out of the way so that you go in the bathroom and masturbate and actually get off.
Someone's about to loop that audio of Demer's moaning.
Yo, did you hear her?
Like, she just wants you to get off for her so she can go into bathroom and masturbate and get off.
That sounds like marriage.
I just assume that's what marriage is like.
Who the joke is right.
Huh?
My serious.
Nothing.
So cuffing season.
right we should get high mall for the rest of the episode i feel like i am high oh higher can you
get much higher no so hard what are y'all on tour what the fuck is this oh what the fuck is going
what is that guys wait have patience with us with our evergreen episodes we're drinking
marriage ron and beat it up on purpose he knew what he was doing i wasn't mad at the there were some layers
there you guys yeah um speaking of the cover season julian has a date that's why he's trying to rush us out of here
Julia
See now I'm sweating now
It's just hot near
No it's just hot day
You nervous?
It's the first date?
No, it's not
Did you scout?
No
I really don't know
Were you in the boy scouts?
We'll talk about this on Patreon
because he's a little bit more safe on Patreon
No he's not
He's not safe on Patreon
They all have his Patreon by now
By the way you guys
Please make sure you subscribe to our Patreon
Okay in the event
Hypothetically you had a date Julian
Okay
Hystetically speaking yeah
Where are we going to find it?
way, right?
Because we're trying to get out of the word, we'll be like,
and another thing.
Yeah.
Fuck it.
Don't subscribe to our Patreon.
Never mind.
Fuck it.
Where would you meet this woman, hypothetically, if you were to go on a date tonight?
Where did you meet her?
First date?
Okay.
So this is a, this is a reoccurring.
Where was the first day?
Repeat defender.
Hypothetically, we met years ago.
Ah.
We never met in person online years ago.
Okay.
And then two or so years later.
we meet in person randomly at a show.
The box that got away.
Yeah.
We never started.
It wasn't a getaway.
It never started.
But you know,
we've all had those instances
where we've talked to people
where we probably would have ended up
fucking it never happened
because of time and like other shit in the world.
So I was, say hypothetically,
randomly run into this person.
We didn't fuck.
I was married.
I was married.
Uh-huh.
And we go on an actual date.
It goes great.
Trying to get on a little,
like a biweek.
schedule. How did it go great though?
Putting a girl on a biweekly schedule?
No, not like, I'm just saying you're trying. You got to think of her period. That's why.
Jesus.
No.
Rory Tate is in full effect. You're not saying nothing. All right, go ahead.
For her, she could have cramps. I want her to be comfortable with her. Crams?
Crams. Where is your brain today?
Well, you're old as fuck even mentioning crabs. People don't get crabs no more, baby.
The eye. She's going to be scratching next week. Don't worry.
And her, and her, I have not heard of crabs in a very long time.
Because women wax, we wax, we wax our pubic hair now. So crabs can't get along. Okay, but are y'all
bumping cooties with each other?
No, y'all have to rub against us.
And being that we can't carry it to the next
because we don't have anything for it to adhere to.
So only the dream catcher bitches, they'll have crabs.
Gosh.
Or the dream chaser bitches, too.
Dream chaser.
Yeah, we'd never go into Philly.
Why?
You think me game running to some fucking bitches to have crabs?
Of course he has.
What about?
I have.
I'm sure me cats.
You have all you had crafts before?
No, no.
No, I never had me.
No, that is.
you've never had crabs
No, no de Maris, I've never had crabs
Why is that so hard to believe?
Because I mean like in that age bracket
Like I feel like
I'm 40
The fucking me age bracket
I'm not saying
No but you know you
You were probably started fucking
When the boom of crabs hit
No I was not
What the fuck you're talking about?
Where were you when crabs hit?
The boom
The crab's academic
You know the crab's epidemic
Ronald Reagan put it in the hood
I was not around for the crab epidemics
Like I was not
I wasn't fucking
So you're telling me when you was 18, 19, bitches was waxing?
No, there's no way.
No, but they were shaving.
I don't think they were waxing in the 50s.
Or in, no, mind.
I had a really sick.
Yeah, I know, I know you did.
I know, just, shh.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Go ahead.
No, I want to hear that.
Can we bleep it?
I just wanted to know how his first date went.
And we're here.
I'm so happy we're off this.
Let's talk about some crabs.
All right.
So she didn't give you crabs on the first date, so it went well.
Yeah, it went great.
You guys got some LOLs off?
What was it?
It went great.
Second date, great.
Everything's been going great.
It took a jazz club all like, you know, the spots.
Cornball.
You don't even like jazz.
I love jazz.
You're trying to look mature.
Like, oh, let's go to an art gallery.
No, that's my bag.
Oh, oh my fucking God.
One of my friends saw mall.
Custom summer jam slides.
One of my friends saw Maugh at an art gallery with a bitch.
Wow.
And this was a while ago and I completely keep...
Saw that coming.
See? That's the bitch knocking your laptop over.
And now look, look at this.
I completely...
God don't like ugly.
Completely...
Shut up.
I completely forgot to mention that.
So anytime somebody sees me with a woman that's...
I'm with a bitch.
You don't know who the woman was.
Don't know nothing about it.
Yo, nah, you were a bitch.
It was our gallery or a museum.
I can't remember what she said.
You didn't want to stain in the white suit before the Baschiot show.
You don't remember that hook.
We let Frank Ocean get that bullshit off.
Hope we don't stay in the white soup before the Boschiacho.
That's a great record, though.
Don't do that.
No, it is, but that's an awful line.
That's a great record, though.
I'd love to have.
Ocean's fire, but.
Name three artists other than Boschiat.
Keith Naring is a very easy one.
Like, should we do those?
Bango.
No, I mean, all right.
Not those guys.
You said three artists.
That was not artists?
No, I mean, Herring kind of is in that grouping.
James Franco.
James Franco
The actor?
He got canceled.
Chris Brown.
He got canceled?
He's still canceled, right?
James Franco?
When he got canceled?
He just saw him in Spider-Man.
He's like the biggest actor on Earth.
Oh, he was not in Spider-Man.
You're talking about from 2004?
Yeah.
2004.
Wait, what did James do?
He was, after he was on Broadway shows,
and after shows, he was creeping on underage girls,
like 16.
and 17 telling him to come back to the hotel and
really with their mothers. He's like, yo, here's my number.
Beat me at the...
I mean, I think it's wrong to stereotype people, but he
looks like someone that would do that.
That's why Seth Rogen and stopped working with him.
His face looks very much like...
Seth Rogen stopped working with him because of all those rumors.
Well, not rumors. They were confirmed.
Okay.
You see women like men that ain't shit.
Women love women love men and ain't shit.
Tamara said she likes him more now.
Yeah. She was like, I'm about to go watch the Spider-Man
And tonight, flick the bean to the green goblin.
I stepped away from the mic to go grab a paper towel.
That's why they're tarnishing my name.
But continue.
Anyways.
All right.
So this will be, what, the third day?
We're not stopping.
Move fast.
Okay.
Like 26.
Oh, I think it's 26.
What are the three things you like the most about her?
And is she someone you're potentially cuffing for cuffing season?
She is.
Okay.
You're an honest man.
I like that.
She has a career.
Very attractive.
That's helpful.
That's very attractive.
An actual career makes her a salary.
Right.
She has health insurance.
Health insurance.
Dental plan.
A humble social media presence.
Very attractive to me.
Oh, who cares about that.
No, I mean, it's not something like that.
But it's just how she carries herself.
Okay.
It kind of matriculates into the humble.
You know what I mean?
All right.
That's fair.
Okay.
Good family.
comes from a good family.
I think Julian was saying the social media presence is she's not aware of everything
happening online so he can cheat quite peacefully on socials.
See, look how you're spinning this.
No, I think that thing what he's saying is she's just not really...
Help me out all.
She's not really into the mixture shit.
Yeah, she's not into the mixing shit.
She's not.
Does she put her toe up in any IG photos?
She does not.
No, I hate that.
What is that?
It helps with the butt.
Demaris does that.
The toe up.
Every girl on earth does it.
I do that.
What do you mean I do that?
Like, stand on their toes?
No,
Maris has had me take photos of her.
Well, they can't see.
No, get in the shot.
O'Rory does that when he's sitting down.
Yeah, I know.
It helps with the glutes.
Well, yeah, they do this.
First of all, don't have...
Look.
Yeah, you see it.
Wait, DeMaris, get in the frame?
Oh, my.
Sit it.
Just sit down.
Sit down.
Why are you...
I don't know what's happening right now.
Wait, look at Rory.
It's like this.
Boom.
Boom.
Damaris, don't ever come over here with your ass and them tights like that.
But they ask, you don't fuck you, man.
You don't want to fuck you that.
Like, I'm not even arguing.
But I do want to address this because I see a lot of men doing this.
And I think me and my ladies would like to know,
what is with you guys' obsession now with women who have a humble social media presence?
Like, men will be like, oh, my gosh, she only has 2,000 followers and just be like,
and I don't think that's fair.
I didn't ask for my fucking followers.
I don't think it's a follower-based thing.
It's not a follow-based thing.
That's how you move on it.
Exactly.
Yeah, it's what you post.
Now, if you're going to go by statistics, women with the larger followings tend to do some of the
some of the things that men may have issues with.
Yeah, they feed the wolves.
Like, I don't need to see ants in your fucking story.
Ants, what are ants?
Like, you know, what's that like grabs?
When they put so many stories, it's like fucking little dots.
Do they call that ants?
Yeah, ants.
Oh, I don't really care about that.
Yeah, like, what the fuck?
Every time I'm like, no, that's stupid.
I do whatever the fuck you want on IG.
I'm cool.
whatever their guidelines or my guidelines
or deactivate.
Just don't show me your pussy.
No, but there is certain things that are attractive
about a woman's social media that some guys
just take notice of.
Well, no, it's not so much of social media.
I think, and I'm not even going to make it gender specific,
it's attractive to see how people handle attention.
It says a lot about them,
about how they receive attention and deal with it
and what they're attracted to about attention.
What are they putting out there to receive attention?
Yeah.
So I'm saying it's not so much to social media
as much as it,
is the either attention seeking, validation seeking,
just an emptiness of like,
are you doing this so strangers will tell you you're attractive?
Like, what exactly is it?
Or would you just like yourself?
That's where I think men get to that point.
But women have the fucking joker's card every single time.
I do it for me.
I don't do it for you.
And we can never argue that,
even though we know it's bullshit.
I'm scared of the women that respond to every comment.
Oh, as you should be.
Do you have too much time?
Well, according to our social media manager, he says it does help with engagement and that we should be.
Yeah.
And it also stops you can get engaged as well.
It can also end your engagement.
Just shut that.
Shut up.
My bad.
Shut up.
I didn't even mean to go there, bro.
I know that's a trigger.
My bad, bro.
Bring out the chimes.
Yeah, I promised.
I didn't mean to get it.
Put your blindfold on.
Next second.
Bring out the chimes.
Put your mom for.
Night, right.
Checked out.
Checked out.
Put your blindfold all, my bad.
But yeah, I got into an argument with the guy over that because I was telling him,
he was turned off that I had a bunch of men commenting underneath a photo of mine.
And I'm like, I am fully.
That's not what bothers me.
But I'm fully dressed in the photo and it's not my fault that I have all of these followers.
I didn't go do anything for these followers.
I literally do not give a fuck about Instagram.
That's not.
All right.
I don't want to harp on the social thing.
For me, the biggest thing is a strong family.
I came from a really healthy, loving family.
family.
And not to say that good people don't come from, you know,
broken homes or different situations, but I know.
You're coming across that way.
Yeah.
There are some things, though.
There are some, there are some, there are some characters and some traits where you can
be like, okay, she never had a, she didn't have a father in life.
Or she didn't have a good relationship with her mother.
Yeah.
But say she does.
And again, similarly to how I grew up, like I can kind of imply what comes with that.
And those are a lot of things that I like in someone, someone that.
That's fair.
My parents are still together.
So right now she's like the number one draft.
Are you divorced shaming?
I'm not divorce shaming.
Sounds like it.
Divorcey kid shaming.
You know you're not allowed to have a preference, by the way.
Right now you're being very problematic because you're not allowed to have a preference.
You cannot, whoa, you cannot choose a partner that you think will fit you best.
Oh, you think I didn't know that?
No, the internet told you that.
I'm very aware.
Yeah.
So stop trying to find someone compatible with you.
I said no drugs and they try to kiss with me.
Ma.
I said no
I just said no to drugs
I promise you
It's crazy out here
Simba just had one of my favorite
Freestyles of the year
and said I'm trying to stay away
from the monkey pox
And everyone went bars
I was like what the fuck
I just got canceled for this
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
I have no idea
I can help you with that
What a responsible person
Simmsby
Meanwhile
I'm ensuing violence
Against the gay community
I'm telling you bro
It's crazy
The shit is wow
I don't know what's going
I don't even know anymore
I don't know.
I don't know.
Well, guys, thank you so much for hanging with us while we discussed.
Why are you talking?
Maltate.
Maul Tate.
The internet needs it.
They took Tate off.
He's here to fill the void.
The stove is cold.
Get over there, lady.
I don't smell dinner.
Why isn't that womb working?
The steak is still frozen.
God damn it, work you womb.
God damn it.
After you work the room, work your womb.
Why aren't you
sewing clothing?
Go make my shoes.
Make my shoes.
You got to make my shoes
from scratch.
I'd just grown up in those times
and hearing your dad tell your mom,
go make my shoes.
Can't blame some of these men
for being the way they are.
You're looking how they was raised.
We want to thank y'all for joining us
for this episode.
We are currently still
traveling. We're flying right now if you're hearing this.
Chicken again?
Apples are already.
Yeah, so we're traveling right now and we'll be back to kick it with you guys soon.
Don't do remember.
Why aren't you blowing me right now?
Do remember that tickets are on sale if you would like to come see us.
This is exactly how Andrew Tate was taken off the year.
Oh my God.
At new Rorynmall.com, tickets are now available.
Charlotte.
We're in D.C. September 23rd at the Highwood Theater.
We are in Charlotte, October 2nd at the underground.
Yes.
Roy will bring his eye mask on his sound journey.
Oh, that eye mask is coming to every tour.
Get your tickets and we'll have a sound journey together, God damn.
That's what we'll do.
We'll have a sound journey.
Can I speak?
Stove is still cold.
I don't think so.
I mean, if it's only if it's in regards to the children.
Only if you're pregnant.
I hope it's not in regards to voting.
No, you can't vote.
This is crazy.
Oh, man, Damaris.
You see how good you got it.
See, you got a soft life already.
I want to start the episode with this.
Can we move this to the time?
You got a soft life.
That's the thing about your women now.
Y'all don't even understand how soft your life is in 2022.
Talk to the women in 1960.
What do you want to do?
Live within your femininity or whatever it is?
Yeah, yeah.
Living your femininity.
Femininity.
Wash a dryer.
We're going to get into that conversation on Patreon.
We're joking, everyone.
Do subscribe to our page.
Patreon, more Rory and Mall,
www.
www.
www.
New Roryin Mall.com?
No.
Oh, that's the tickets, right?
Look, I'm in fucking autopilot.
I'm going to sell tickets.
I've been selling fucking merch and selling ads for the last fucking, yeah.
Look, look.
Oh, my fucking God.
If you guys want to subscribe to our Patreon,
please go to patreon.com and you can search New Rory and Mall.
Yeah.
The goddamn Bible thumpers are here.
Yo, I want to just do.
a show where we just yell out the most craziest shit
that men used to tell their wives.
Just think about what they were saying in the 40s, bro.
That's why you didn't see any women at the last supper.
They was in the kitchen.
I'm done.
Mary wasn't a virgin.
She was cooking.
There's literally a shirt named after beating women.
That's how violent that era was.
And we still say that.
You could walk into Target now and ask what aisle are the wife beaters and they'll tell you.
You can get them in a three pack.
Getting white beat us in a three-pack is crazy.
I like the five.
More bang for my buck.
All right.
We end this fucking episode.
I want it.
I don't believe in beating women.
Holy shit.
This is crazy.
We were totally joking.
We don't believe in beating women.
We just think it's absolutely hilarious that that was actually an error.
Yes.
That's insane.
And this is like, what the fuck is the world going through at that time?
But we're on tour.
if that helps anything.
Do you think any men from that generation
screamed those things and went,
that was a little harsh?
Maybe I should pull it back a little bit.
They definitely went to the bathroom like,
oh, that was a little rough.
Yeah, I'm going a little overboard on that one.
Just attached.
The chicken wasn't that bad.
Yeah, like, you've got to have a heart.
At the end of the day, you've got to have a heart.
It's like, come on, bro.
Why are you talking to your wife like that?
It's insane.
So, yeah, this was another episode of New Rory and Mall.
We appreciate y'all.
We'll talk to y'all soon.
your week. We'll speak. Be safe. Love, peace, happiness to all. Yeah, and be safe, man,
because it's crazy out here right now. I'm that nigga. He's just ginger. Peace.
A win is a win. A win is a win. I don't care what I'm saying. Yep, that's me, Clifford Taylor
the 4th. You might have seen the skits, my basketball and college football journey, or my career
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On the Look Back at it podcast.
For 1979, that was a big moment for me.
84's big to me.
I'm Sam Jay.
And I'm Alex English.
Each episode, we pick a year, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it.
with our friends, fellow comedians, and favorite authors.
Like Mark Lamont Hill on the 80s.
84 was a wild year.
It was a wild year.
I don't think there's a more important year for black people.
Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
On the Ceno Show podcast, each episode invites you into a raw, unfiltered conversations about recovery, resilience, and redemption.
On a recent episode, I sit down with actor, cultural icon, Danny Trail to talk about addiction, transformation, and
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featuring powerful conversation with the guests like Tiffany Addish,
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I'm an alcoholic. And without this group,
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Listen to the Cino's show on the IHart Radio app,
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This is an IHart podcast.
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