New Rory & MAL - Episode 254 | Friends With Benefits

Episode Date: March 26, 2024

Post pandemic NY hits differently. The city is full of dogs. We reminisce over our first gaming systems as kids and how to properly diagnose our friends' learning disabilities (7:32). Rory shares a very specific story about a kid who went to high school with him. We take an early voicemail about boundaries being tested (22:59). This leads to a very personal conversation about half siblings. We take another voicemail about hooking up with an old fling following a divorce (51:15). We learn when the team first smashed a white girl. When does a friend with benefits no longer quality as fwb? We break down the rules and establish our parameters (1:05:43). Our final voicemail is a callback about supporting another YouTube content creator (1:25:08). Speaking of content, go subscribe to Julian & Demaris’s instagram subscription pages. We end up talking about why we can’t come around to filming ourselves. Tune in as the guys discuss all of this + more!Follow Rory: @ThisIsRoryFollow MAL: @MAL_ByTheWayFollow Demaris: @DemarisAGiscombeFollow Julian: @Julian__nicholasThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/rorymal and get on your way to being your best self! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. I'm not exaggerating on this at all. His name was Pablo. I know this sounds like a awful bit. Of course his name was Pablo. It sounds like an awful bit. He was easily 35, big-ass mustache,

the most stereotypical, like Mexican-looking guy to take up. And he was a little person. And he had been at school for, I don't know, like 10 years at that point. And he was the horniest little fucker you'd ever mean your life. He'd pull his dick out in the

hallway at lunch and everyone would just laugh. Like I guess it was just a different time. Now that he was a grown man when he did that? Grown at, was it like in his 30s. I just want to know if it was like regular size, like if they had like regular size dicks or if everything was small. I guess if we're going off the proportion of his body, he, he was packing something. That's sick.

No, worry, and not. Call up. I'm drinking. Let's call up. All I care about is money in the city that I'm I'm a sip until I feel it I'm a smoke it till it's done. I don't really give a fuck in my excuses that I'm young. And I'm only getting older.

Somebody should have told you I'm on. Fuck it. I'm on. Yo, man. That's how Mara pronounces her all her age is now. Yeah, I've been taking like these edibles, like, to help me, like, pass out. I'm trying not to smoke as much. Okay.

So I've been taking these edible. So I took like this shroom edible last night. Tell me more. Oh, my God. That was some of the best sleep. Like I fell asleep. I was sleep with my eyes open. Like you ever been like laying down and you're watching something, but your brain is not like.

Oh, like sleep paralysis. Yeah, it sucks. I have it all this. No, not that. It's like, it's not relaying what you're watching. And then you realize like, oh shit, I'm like watching TV. Like, you're staying at the TV, but your body is so relaxed in bed. And you can't.

Like, you don't even know what you're watching. So this sounds like good sleep paralysis. Yeah, no, no. This isn't the one where you think like somebody snucking in the middle of the night and drugged you. Yeah. And it's now like going through your house looking for your stuff. The Cosby paralysis.

Or sitting on your chest. Yeah. Is there much difference like to try to cut out smoking but do edibles? Like, was that that excuse that I was like, you know, no more coniac, just wine. I'm still drinking. Um, yeah, but it's not as long as you not a beer, it's not like an every night thing. Got you. Okay.

I'm not taking these shit every night, but I took one last night. And I was like, you know, took a shower, popped the edible. And then you start just like getting into that relaxed state. Your body is like really, really like, you know, some shit starts moving just a little bit. You're not tripping. Yeah. But things start kind of swaying a little bit. Body high.

Yeah. As an avid weed smoker, is there a big difference between this new surge of shrooms? Like when I was younger, you took shrooms to actually hallucinate. Yeah. Now they have the microdose, the chocolates that I've taken. I'm like, this is not the shrooms that I remember. It's kind of more like weed to me Well, it's because of the microdosing thing

Like you don't have to, like you can take shrooms Throughout the day to kind of keep you on a certain frequency You don't have to just take like a bunch and just start tripping out Like I'm not really with that tripping out shit And I don't really like that Have you done it though? Tripped out like fully tripped out Um, Molly one time

Yeah, you can't really trip on Molly Yeah, that's just a good time What? I'm talking about like actually hallucinating I was panicking I thought niggas was coming to get me off the Molly. That's just paranoid. I think if you take enough Molly,

like you have a real fucking problem, maybe you could start to hallucinate based off like not sleeping. Yeah, I never took enough shrooms to trip though, thankfully. I don't like that. I don't want to trip out

because then that shit is going to scare me to never do it again. I'm never going back. Yeah, like I do a lot of shrooms and I just never, I don't want to get to the point where I'm tripping heavy. That's not fun.

Take like a couple caps. That's good enough for me. Yeah. I mean, as someone that's, I think I've like fully tripped three times. And the first time when I was 15 or 14, I told the story. I took way too many.

We went to the park. The cops came. My friend said his birthday was on 9-11 when we were up against the wall and they were searching us. I started laughing. Told that story a million times. Going into this two other times, I had like strength of my brain to know what was coming. So it wasn't like a crazy paranoia. Your brain kind of meets you where your mind is at.

when you take them. If you go in paranoid, it's going to go fucking bad. If you go in being like, all right, I do have control, I'm ready to embrace this and have fun and have this journey,

you'll be fun. So I think you guys should try it at least once. To trip? To really trip. In the right location, I'm not saying rush it, like go do this shit in the Lower East Side. Go out in the desert.

Do it properly, but I really encourage you to try. I don't think it's fun to trip out in the streets of Manhattan. It's too many things pulling at your sensors. Like, it's lights, there's noise,

Is this a bunch of people? There's dogs. Can we, yo, what is this? Everybody has a dog. Like, when is the last time? COVID did that. Bro, walking on the sidewalks, everybody has a dog.

It's cocky everywhere. I don't understand this shit. Like, everybody has a fucking... Well, our generation has kids later, gets married later. So dogs kind of fill that void once you're in your late 20s, early 30s. Like, I do want something, but I'm not ready for kids. kids. And then COVID, everyone got lonely and had disposable income. So they were just

creating breeds every other week. What's the craziest thing you purchased during COVID? Oh, craziest? I don't know. Not sex. I would, I don't need to pay for that. My bad. Yo, I forgot. You know what? I saw you sitting there, but I forgot who I was talking. First of all, none of us paid for sex. I saw you sit in there, but I don't make this about me. No one in the room pays for sex. My bad. My bad. My bad. I bought a bike, but that's not crazy. I just I just bought a everybody bought the vaccine Yes

Or was it covered I can't remember I sold the vaccine I don't know if I had Any crazy purchases during I didn't Oh I mean the X I bought an Xbox

And became a gamer For like a few weeks That was I think as far as I took it I just traveled a lot I traveled the entire pandemic How really So many people I meet were so fucking cheap

Super spreader over here Yeah so you were part of the problem She's a part of the problem Remember the Super Spreader thing? She was going to third world countries and coughing on people. I was talking about I got my vaccine. I was traveling in America. I will say I did do like a few L.A. trips when I was making the album during like the height of COVID.

I stayed at the London for like 75 bucks a night. Nobody was there. Big ass sweet. They're like, yeah, just go wherever the fuck you want. For real. That was a great time. That was fun. Kobe was fun, man.

I mean, aside from people that lost their lives. Not enough people. allegedly, if you ask me. CDC keeps rolling back those numbers, but whatever. You didn't purchase anything crazy? I think a PlayStation. You gaming is hilarious. Look at together.

I played it twice. I don't know where it's at now. That's funny. Do you like have no idea? Is it a PS5 or a PS4? Nah, the 5 wasn't out on. I don't think it was out yet. Yeah, it wasn't out that.

I feel like you're not a game that you were so far behind. It's like PS2 still, right? That's what everyone's on. bought a Sega. A Sega. What was the first gaming system you guys had as kids? Either an Atari. Nintendo 64.

That was your... Damn, y'all were young. I had a Game Boy. That was, like, the first gaming handheld device. But the first, like, system, because my parents wouldn't get us to Nintendo 64. I had a GameCube. You look like you would have a GameCube.

I had a GameCube. I had a Game Q too. Don't do that. I was addicted to Def Jam and Dead on my GameCube. Super Smash. What it was on every other thing, too. It wasn't just a GameCube. I know, but I'm saying, but that's what I played on my game game.

But Nintendo, GameCube's Nintendo. So they had Super Smash brothers and all those like the racing games too, like the Mario card. Y'all remember Neo Geo? Who? I know Rale does. Anytime Moss has some old shit, I know REL. Just look on Rale is his man. Y'all, y'all don't know Neo Geo.

You don't know what I'm saying, Real? They wasn't playing Neo Geo. I was very privileged with my first one. I wanted Nintendo, but my dad went out and got me Sega CD. I don't think they made very many of them. It was like a thing that came and went, but Sega made a video game console that was the first with discs. It was during the Nintendo time.

This joint? Yes, Sega CD. I was like, it didn't have the cartridge thing. It was legitimately just the disc. Yeah, I was very much. I was upper class at that. point. Ooh.

Like, y'all were still blowing into your fucking cartridges. You had to see, I was on the, I was playing Mortal Kombat on a disc.

Yeah. I thought I was so fucking, I used to really be a gamer at one point though. Same. I had every game. I remember the fine gamer though when,

when we were younger. I had every, I had, I had, no, I had like, well, yeah, but I had like five systems. To do what?

Am I, well, play game. No, but I mean, once you have a Sega Genesis and then you get a, a Super Nintendo,

and then you get, you know what I'm saying, like the fucking Sega not the Sega what's the one with the first Dreamcast Oh God I wanted to Dreamcast Yeah so once you start

Once you start just collect you look under your console You got like five systems You're like damn Yeah I guess I mean N64 was my My favorite I think Sega Dreamcast is underrated I play in 64 the most now

A couple of my friends have it So that's the only time I'll play video games Is that? 64? Yeah We'll just fuck around and do like Mario Carter Gold 9 You remember the Super Scope for Super Nintendo?

Yes, yeah, yeah, I know I told about it. No, I didn't have it. I know you talked about it. The Super Scope was the shit. That was my shit. I loved the Super Scope. I actually went online looking for that shit like a few months ago, see if they started. Oh, my God.

It had bad timing if I remember correctly. That was it after a while. Like you had to be a real professional sniper because it was a delay. Yeah. I don't know if they were counting for wind. The Super Scope was my shit. You think if kids had this now, they wouldn't go to schools? No, I think it might encourage them more to.

And they can actually like purchase real scopes. What was the with the Nintendo? At TNash. They used to have to shoot the ducks. What was that? Oh, Duck Hunter. I was about to say, Mike. My God Brothers had Duck Hunter and had like a wall in their basement that they could actually do it properly like the commercial.

Yeah. Oh my God. I would just like show up at their house unannounced. Yeah. And just go downstairs and play Duck Hunter. You ever realize who was autistic when you were younger? Like your friends, like as you get older, you realize what autism is? Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, he was autistic. Yeah, for sure. Yo, this kid I went to. school with, went to his house one, like, one Saturday was like going to his house to hang out. Like, we was close friends in gray school. He had trains everywhere. He literally had every Nintendo game in his basement, every single game in alphabetical order. His parents had just screaming him to stop cleaning his room.

Yo, it was the crate. I've never seen nothing like this. Like, I went in this basement and it was just like, yo, who are you? Like, I feel like we go to school, but that was my first time I'm going to his house. Going his basement, we're about to play game. Yo, every single Nintendo game. And it was stacked up on a bookshelf in alphabetical order. Didn't know what that was.

Thought, oh, he's just neat. You know, mom makes him clean up. That's autism. 100%. I've never seen nothing like. Imagine going in your friend's room and he has every single Nintendo game. You don't know what to play. As soon as you die, you're like, yo, fuck this.

We're playing another one. Who needs you can conveniently find the next game? Did you ever put it back in wrong order? I did one time and he paused to get. This is how I know it was autism. I put it back in the wrong place. Yeah, no, I put it back in the wrong place. We were playing a game.

He paused it to go put it in the right place. That's autism. And you were like looking for the violin. Me? Because that was the only tell sign, I think, when you were coming up. Oh, if he plays cello, he's autistic. at that point organization hadn't reached the doctors yet with that

a cello who plays a cello autistic people and they're great at it they're fucking amazing they make the most beautiful music oh man that in bipolar I guess hits in your early 20s severely

if you don't have it when you're younger one of my friends we just always thought he was weird and high all through high school and then he went to Drexel for college and had like a complete meltdown and I got that call when I was in college. Like, you heard about branding

the mental institution now? I was like, I always just thought he was high. Maybe we should have like looked into some of those signs before. Like even down to the organization thing. Do you think his parents knew in the Bronx that he was autistic? I think the parents knew. I don't think that they told like, like,

yeah, because that was the thing at the time. Like, you could have the diagnosis, but then there was a whole thing about hiding. it from like your peers and the teachers and shit, which is weird but was a thing for a while. And what it feel like weird is I guess a parent even back then to like, let me just

go double check my kid's not autistic or bipolar. I know there's two obviously separate things. But just saying within the mental health space as a parent, if you don't know the signs, like you're not just going to bring your kid on a cold call. Like Doc, figure out if there's something fucked up that's going to happen when he's

23. Just give him a bunch of candy and watch him organize it. just leave him in a room full of candy and see what happened. We had one autistic kid at my separate the skittled by color that you could give him any date. You'd be like March 12th, 1956

and he would tell you the exact day of the week it was. And that was just like that just spread around school. I don't know who figured it out. Like how do you find that out? That his parents just bring up a date and he was like Tuesday.

And then they did some more experiments. Didn't Chrissy, didn't Chrissy D do that when we went on his show? Oh my God. He flared out a date. the date. It was like, yo, that's like today. Like, what he and I was telling him, his name

was Z man. I don't know what his real name was. I don't know if it was fucked up that we gave him a nickname. But Z man was the autistic kid, and we just asked him random dates. And then there was also a little person. Can't say. Is that offensive? I don't know what they're mad by now. There was a Mexican

that was easily 35 years old. That's good. I think that's like, no, that's great. That's great. No, the I'm not. I'm not. exaggerating on this at all. His name was Pablo. I know this sounds like a awful bit. Of course his name was Pablo. It sounds like an awful bit, but

that's how 100% true. His name was Pablo. He was easily 35, big-ass mustache, the most stereotypical like Mexican-looking guy to take up. And he was a little person. And he had been at school for 10 years at that point.

And he was the horniest little fucker you'd ever mean your life. He'd pull his dick out in the hallway, at lunch and everyone would just laugh. Like I guess it was just a different time. Now that he was a grown man when he did that? Grown at, no. Was it like a grown? In his 30s for sure. Was the dick? I guess if we're going off the proportion of his body, he

he was packing something. That's sick. I just want to know if it was like regular size, like if they had like regular size dicks or if everything was small. Well, you know, you know grown men have. Yeah, but it could offset because he was mentally challenged. Little person Mexican named Pablo that would pull his dick out at any point and jerk off front of girls. Yes. Looking back now,

I cannot believe. Wait, where was this taking place that? This is in Queens. In school? Mm-hmm. He needed to be in jail. Yeah, I want to say he was working. I'm underselling what he would do.

At any point, if he would go to all four lunches. He was like Drake on the plane. And he would just fucking jerk off. It wasn't like a, yo, the pep rally's coming. He's going to jerk off. Every day you would see his dick. Like clockwork? Yes.

You knew what time? And I mean, you also have a bunch of high school. kids laughing and like Tomali thinking it's crazy so that encouraged him even more but in retrospect like he used to just pull his dick out in front of teenage girls

and jerk off in front of them and laugh and then run away. It's because he was a little person that they were now or was it because he was mentally ill. If he was 6.3 but if he was 6'3 and he was just pulling out jerking off he would have been in jail a long time. And isn't an excuse too

because like Zeman wasn't doing that he was just pumping out dates for us. Yeah. I think it was a him problem. I don't think we can just blame that all on being mentally challenged. I just think you were the rapy version

of mentally challenged people. It was a guy on my block that he could tell what type of car it was just by the sound of the car, dropping by. That's cool. That was crazy. Or a mechanic.

Like, he knew everything about a car. I was just like, how do you know what this infant? Again, you grow up with kids, you don't, you know what I mean? They have little things that's worried about him, but you don't know what it is. He would hear a car and be like,

oh, that's the new camera. Messles must have fucked him up. Well, yeah. I just hear wheels. I just hear, I just hear a machine. I don't hear anything. I don't know what it is. I'm here, my man, you buy your yearbook?

Yo. Send a picture of Pablo. You buy your yearbook by chance. Can you send? Who's by their yearbook? A photo. No one has ever just been by their yearbook. That shit is his mother's basement.

What do you think Pablo's senior quote was. He was never a senior. He never graduated. Yeah, something like. So like, I think he was like permanently in the junior class of the yearbook every year. Because he never, because you know, seniors they'll sometimes give like a better portion, your senior photo and shit. Yeah. Then the rest of us get the same shit with the background when we were like this. Yeah. I think they just kept Pablo a junior year. I

don't remember a senior photo for him. And when I was a freshman, he was there. Yeah. When I graduated, he was still. It's one of those flip books. where you start on page one is just him in the cafeteria and as you flip his pants just get lower and lower and then you just and then the last shot is you pan out it's him in front of the entire cafeteria holding his dick and it's like congrats Pablo on graduating

I don't think that's how it goes but I don't know it was a good guy but I know it was a different time and I do think that's an excuse sometimes no adult in that school was like can we not have him do this wait the adults knew he was doing that

yes that's crazy I thought he was just doing that in front of the kids. No, he wasn't like cornering people in like a dark room. It was in a cafeteria in the hole. A little person cornering you in a dark room and just backing out on you. Like crazy. Because you don't know whether to kick it. Like what do you do?

But I'm sure there's some girls that are fucking traumatized because going to high school in general. Some girls that did some other things too. It's like a very, you know, freshman year, first week. That's a big transition for a lot of people. Especially public high school where it's a lot of kids. It may not be people you went to. junior high, middle school with whole new world. You walk in and then this kid just pulls his dick out.

Crazy. Shout out, Pablo. No, no, we're not shouting out, Paul. Why not? If you know what Pablo is at, please go call the police and have him arrested. Yeah, I feel like he needed some talking to. Whatever therapist that I guess was teaching that class needs to be fired because that's fucking nuts.

Insane. How's everyone's mental health? We haven't done a mental health checking in a while. Oh, God. Yeah, we haven't. I'm pretty good. I'm pretty, pretty even kill right now. Have you ever not been even killed?

Yeah, for real. Do a montage of all of our mental health checking. Went side to side. Oh, yeah, man, some days where I'm just like, don't want to get out of bed, don't want to wash my ass, don't want to brush my teeth, don't want to do.

You never had those days of marriage? It's called depression. I just never thought you would admit to having them. Yeah, what? I'm not human. We don't have, we don't all have, like, bad days. That's what we've been trying to explain to you for years. Yeah.

Of course I have bad. I'm talking about a lot of my bad days. Megan said bad bitches have bad days too, Mom. Who? Megan, bad bitches have bad days too. Especially when they got to take that makeup or, it gets tough. What?

Is that like a daily activity? Yeah, exactly. That's when they get depressed when they had to walk. Makeup is so expensive. What a ruse. Man, they really got you guys. Speaking of makeup, I've seen Rihanna's opening a Fenty Beauty in China, which means she's about to make another $2 billion or something like that.

probably more. Yeah. She might own that country by the end of the time. Yeah. So everyone's mental health is exactly the same. All right, cool. I'm actually doing a lot better. I thought your quietness, I thought, was to tell.

No. That's what I was trying to move on. Yeah, like, all right. I'd rather not. No, please make it fun of them all. But then sometimes it's like, that quietness is like, someone asks me. Yeah, please.

Ask me directly if I'm okay. Someone asks me if I'm okay. Yeah. Now that you mention it, how are you? I'm doing better. I'm doing really good. Yeah, so anyway. I know you've had some

feelings with the 20s to 30 things. Some feelings? Yeah, but outside of that, outside of my birthday, I'm actually feeling pretty good. I think it's the going to the gym and like eating better thing. I guess it really does help. It's a big thing.

Yeah, so. Do you think you'll leave people in your 20s? No, I feel like I've, I feel like you should have gotten that done by like 25. There's no reason you're going into 30. Or like when people say leaving people in the past year, like damn, if you did it right, the past couple years, you wouldn't have to do that every year.

Like, the people in my life are good. I'm good. I was, I was always on that side. I always found it weird, like, new year, new me. Like, it's the same view. If you're a shitty person, then the time change isn't going to change anything. That's not what changes it. But I don't know, if that's what helps you.

Like, maybe you need that one point, like my 30th birthday, everyone else that was fucked up out of here. Like, I can pick a day. I think that strategy works for people. It's funny you mention that because I would, I was shuffling through voicemails the last few days. And someone left the voicemail that reminded me that in terms of setting boundaries, importantly with people that you love that are in your life.

But as you become older and you move into a new apartment or get new things and you're kind of becoming an individual, how do you respect and love those people, but also be like, this is my space. I need to be alone. So I kind of want to share this one. I know it's early in the episode, but this conversation just directly. reminds me that I'll play for you guys. I would love to hear it.

All right. Please do. All right. What's good, y'all? Was not expecting a guy. I'm just calling in, tell you all the, I really appreciate the pod. I've been listening to it for a while now, and I think you guys are great. Keep doing what you're doing.

Thank you, Will. Main reason for calling y'all is, I finally got my first department. And I'm figuring out how I want to furnish this thing. I saw something on the pod a while back. I think I wanted to preach your on episodes. y'all had some bean bags and it came with a beanbag ottoman i thought that was fired so i wanted to see where y'all got that another thing is what the new apartment comes setting new boundaries for my family so i don't really have the best relationship with

my mom and my sister you know you know we like this we're tight you know it's i love them to death but they can be a bit much. And, you know, a man, and I'm trying to get in this new apartment and making my own. And I kind of need a set of boundaries. So what would y'all do in a situation where your boundaries keep getting tested? All right. Thank you, y'all.

We have a good one. Peace. What do you do when your boundaries keep getting tested? I'm assuming by family and friends that always want to come over? Is what his question was? Yeah, I'm assuming he must have lived with his parents or at least somewhere where they felt more comfortable, just easily coming or like being accessible and more in his life.

And now with his own space, he's like, chill. This is my apartment. When I want you here, come here. If not, I need my time alone. I think it's just, I think that's it right there. You just let your family and friends know, like, you know, like, no, I'm not, you know, I don't want a bunch of people in my space or, you know,

I'm trying things differently. You know, this is my sanctuary. This is where I clear my head after work or whatever. Like, you know, I mean, you've got to set, you have to set those boundaries. I think it's healthy to set those boundaries. It can come across a little fucked up to family and friends sometimes. But I think if you just let them know, like, you know, sometimes come over. But then that time's like, no, I don't want no company in my house.

I think that's okay to have that in place for your own mental health. I'm looking for your answers because I very well could have done this exact voicemail. I'm so fucking bad with boundaries with my family. I let my family steamroll me. My house is open to anyone whenever the fuck they want, even if I don't want them there. Anything to do with family, boundaries, money, time, resources,

anything is on the tape. I am a whore with my... family and I can't stand it. I've talked with multiple therapists about it. Every time I try to put my foot down, I get the, you know, the Irish mother guilt of, what do you hate me? Like, what about family?

And I fucking buckle every single time. Like, then add in a kid, it's like, can't deprive my family of seeing the newest person in our, like, I'm so bad at this. I have no advice for you. If you figure it out, can you call back and give me advice. Call me.

And then I feel like anytime I go back to therapy and they're like, so how to go this week with what we talked about with boundaries. I'm like, yeah, no, I did what we talked about. Didn't work. Family still there. My mom must have a better therapist because she sees through all this bullshit and finds her way every single time. I think that, I mean, because I think the older you get, it's easier to set those boundaries.

I think when you're younger, it's like, you know, especially if it's like your first new apartment and your family wants to see like, you know, your space and how you doing, checking up on you, friends want to come over. Like now you got your own spot. We can be here all night if we want. We can crash here. You got to set those boundaries, man, because people will just find a way to fucking abuse it. And, you know, especially when they know that you have a tough time telling them no.

People can sense that. Like, they feel that. They know like, oh, he's not going to say no. And then the first time you do say no, that shit cuts like a knife. Like, oh, shit. Like, he said, I can't come over. like he said I can't spend a night like yeah no like I haven't me but I think it gets easier if you have like if you have like a relationship I think it's kind of easy but in his case he said he's

not the closest with them even though they're still pushing up on his personal space yeah but if he that's to me that's if you're not as close with your family that's easier to set those boundaries like we not like that like why are trying to be at my house like no we can go somewhere we can go go eat or something like that hang out outside but you're not coming in my house i mean i get what you're saying all but i think when the relationship isn't super close it is a little bit tougher like if i was to say don't come to my house yes because you're when you're super close with your family you don't have no like you have no problem cussie it's went out and going off on her and say or whatever like girl get no but like somebody who you're close to but not super close

like it's like oh yeah we love each other but we're not you kind of tiptoe around them a little bit Whereas with your super close siblings, you're like, girl, fuck you. No, leave me alone. I won't be bothered. But you wouldn't talk like that to somebody you're not close to me. Like, if I'm close to my family, it's hard for me to tell them, though. Like, that's hard. You know what I mean?

But if it's like you have that cousin that you don't really talk to maybe once every seven, eight months, no, you're not coming to my house. Like, I don't even know. You could be on the run right now. You could have snit snitch on some niggas in the last eight months when they're looking for you. Like, you're not coming in here. Like, I love that. where you're mind goes. Yeah, because you don't know.

If you don't see somebody for a while, it's like... They had to have snished, right? Not that they had to have sniffed, but you just don't know, you just don't know what they got going on. Like, if I haven't seen you in three years, you know how much shit you could have done in three years and gotten into? I don't know who you are. Like, you're not coming in my house. I just think if you're raised, kind of to what Demeris said, if you're raised in a household where things never get resolved, like you beef with each other and then move on to the next day, like nothing happened because we're family and we love each other and things are

never addressed or resolved. that sets a tone where even if you don't feel comfortable with them around or want to express that, hey, I just, this isn't the right time for me. That doesn't even exist in that type of family. We could be beef and it's like, yeah, I'm still coming over. We're family. I'm still living here for the next month. Yeah. We're family.

Were you okay? Huh? Yeah, like, he, oh, no, I said. He got that off in the mirror before. Like, that sounds like a monologue. my advice to you is that if you're uncomfortable every single time that they are there the feeling by not setting boundaries you're trying to avoid the feeling in the shame of like letting them down or that awkward uncomfortableness that comes with that conversation

but you only got to have that conversation once or twice and then the boundary is set and you're done with that discomfort whereas if you keep letting them walk all over you and not saying anything then you're uncomfortable multiple times until for the rest of of your life until you set that boundary. So do you want to be uncomfortable, really, really uncomfortable one or two times or uncomfortable for the remainder of your relationship because you won't set a boundary? Do they live in the same city? I'm wondering if this is like a case of that he just got an apartment in the city that

his sister and mom live in. I'm trying to like think of this logistically because if it's about them being in your personal space, then like find a coffee shop or like a bookstore or somewhere that you can meet, take that like hour, two hours, have your time there together. And then be like, all right, I'm going back to my place. I want to be in my space alone. If it's really about them being in your space, just find somewhere that can be like the meetup spot.

And if they do come to your space without your permission or after you set a boundary, you got to make people uncomfortable. They don't need a key. You have to make people uncomfortable. People come to my house and I come up after them with like cleaning wipes. I pick glasses up, put coasters down.

I'm cleaning up around. I'm going to make you extremely uncomfortable until you get like you want to leave. Until you be like I'm never going over there. Yeah, exactly. What happens if they already have a key and know the garage code and know the back. You got to buy another house, Rory.

You need to chase that. Not tell anybody where it is. Simple. See what I do. Yeah, look at Mall. We still, it up. Mall's moved how many times

we don't even know where the old place is? My mom will find a way to guilt trip me to give her the new address. Her most recent one. Your current home has to be the decoy home. You don't love your mom? Yes, I love you, mom. That's one-on-one.

Yeah. That's that's Illmatic. Like that one, that's a classic. We've been through that. It's celebrated its 25th year. Like that's whatever. Her newest one is telling me about her best friend's son who I know. Who's a good guy?

I like him a lot. Just how amazing he is. He just had a daughter maybe like a year before Marr was born. And just tells me how amazing his relationship is with his mom and the daughter and the grandma and how they all fucking live in this amazing. house, like, that's all she does to try to guilt trip me because the direct shit isn't working. It's like Machiavelli shit. Yeah.

I would literally ignore her. Every parent tried, my mom used to try to do shit like that about like when we were in high school compare it. Oh, so-and-so is, you know, studying so hard and going to this school. I'm like, good for them. Like, I'm not that person. Yeah. I hate that.

My mom, we've talked it out. We're good. But, like, that was like always a thing for a while. It just, it does get a little, like, demeaning and hurtful when it's like, you're not a piece of shit. Like, if I was like, someone. bum on her couch and was like, oh look, so-and-so's son is getting his master's. Like, I could see that strategy to like try to motivate you.

Like, you're on my couch. Like, look what people you grew up with are doing. I'm not a bum. Stop telling me how successful everyone else is just because they have a better relationship with their mother. Maybe you should look in the fucking mirror. Yeah, maybe it's you. Maybe you should be more like that mom and I shouldn't be more like that son.

Exactly. Did you ever think of it that way, mom? And they never can't say that. Clip it. Why can't you say that? No, all right. Clip it. Why can't you say that?

Because I know my mom and it's like, she's at the age where it's over. Like there's no development happening. Yeah, she's not like one day going to be like, you know what? I think you and I should go to therapy together and like really work on our issues. She's set in her ways. It's going to be that way. So I have to adjust for my own peace to get around that. That's exactly.

You're not at peace because she won't leave your abode. So like you need to. But making peace with that will. bring me peace rather than try to change her because that'll never happen and just make me more insane. So, you know, I say those comments to my therapist and I get them off my chest.

It's interesting, like, getting older, and then seeing the dynamic of the relationship between you and your parents. Like, it's an interesting thing. Like, me and my mom have always been, like, super close. But, like, the older I get, the more I'm noticing, like, my mom's in this phase of she still,

no matter what, I'm, she still looks at me like I'm her baby. And I'm just like, he should be saying things like, yeah, did you eat? Did you? I'm like, yes, I ate. I'm a crow man. Like, what do you mean that I eat? Yes, I ate.

But you got to understand that parents just, you know, especially depending on relationship, maybe they feel like it was some things that they didn't get to do when you were younger or time they didn't get to spend or, you know, they replaced certain scenarios in their head. And they see that their baby is now out in the world doing their own thing and traveling and, you know, making a living for themselves. And they feel kind of like a disconnection maybe where it's like maybe you don't see your parents as much as you used to. You don't go to your parents' house as much as you used to. And I think that they try to hold on by any means. Like so then they'll throw things in it to remind you of like your childhood.

Like remember like you always said no matter what, you always be mom. mama's baby and it's like, yeah, that's not. Like, I was five when I said that. Yeah, like, that's not going to take. I was a baby. I don't even remember saying that. That's how long ago that was. Yeah, it's like, oh, yeah, I'm always going to be, you know, like your son, but it's like, I have a life.

Like, you know what I mean? Sometimes, but you got to understand it's hard for parents, like, to accept that their children are now grown and have their own lives. Like, you're going to feel that one day. Especially if they don't have their own life. And when I say their own life, I mean, how. and things that keep them active and distracted. Yeah.

Because when my mother is out with her friends and she's like, she don't think about me, but any other day she calling me every, literally, once a day. Yeah. Like, what's you doing? What did you eat? I just had a chicken tender. It was great.

I'm like, okay, mom, like she sends me a picture of herself. I'm like, mom, I know what you look like. I have not forgotten what you look like. Yeah. But that's parents for you, man. Like, you know, you just got to understand. Like, I'm feeling that with my nephew. He just turned eight and.

I could already feel like him now developing into his own little person and got his friends. And it's like, used to call me every day, FaceTime me every day. Now I got to FaceTime him like, like, yo, what's up with you? Like, you all right? He don't pay me no mind. Like, even if he's on the phone, he's doing something. And I can empathize with that. But it's like to the point of you saying your mom tells you you'll always be her baby,

that also means she's always the parent. and you have to adjust to what your kid is doing. You're a parent. Yeah. So if that never stops, then the parenting can never stop. And you need to adjust to what's going on in my life. You're my parent.

You're the one person that should have to adjust to anything that I'm doing, no matter what. Yeah. And I can see, of course, how that would suck. And I'm sure, you know, once Amara gets old and doesn't want to hang out with me as much, it's going to be fucking devastating. I'm going to do stupid shit like,

text her, like a selfie. Like, hey, remember your dad? I know I'm going to do that shit too. Yeah. But still, as the parent, We're going to text for that slide video. Yeah, yeah. Remember this day?

No. I do think as a kid, God willing, if your parents make it to a certain age, it is your responsibility to take care of your parents. 100%. But while they are able, they are still your parent and they need to give you that grace as a parent. Yeah. We're not friends. You should be friends with your parents.

Yes, but that's not, it's parent and then friend. Yeah, absolutely. We're not friends over parents. So I don't owe you the exact same thing. actually owe me some understanding. You're my parent. Yeah. No one, we are not afforded any luxury of understanding out in the world. We should get it from our family. So yeah, you still have to be a parent, even if I'm grown and you're older. You still have to parent. Yeah. Don't call me. I always be a baby if you're not still a parent. And a lot of, a lot of parents weren't parenting in that, like,

you weren't my emotional support animal when I was a kid and now that I'm an adult, you need an emotional no support animal and you need it to be me. That was not our relationship when I was younger. Don't try to make that our relationship when I'm older. That's a relationship. That has to start from the very beginning.

I'm not talking about everybody's relationship with their parents because some people do have healthy relationships with their parents. But speaking from me, my mother is like, well, why don't you need me? Like that's her thing. Like she, you don't need me all the time. And it's like, yeah, but when I did need you,

you weren't there. So like, now it's like I'm super independent. I know how to handle my mom. Well, that's why she's trying to be there now. Yeah. She probably felt like at one point she wasn't. I learned how to self-sooth. And that's parents, you know, that's parents' guilt.

Like, you know, but I'm grateful for the relationship that I have with my parents. Like, because I see some people's relationship with their parents. And I'm like, you haven't talked to your mom in years? Same. In no way am I doing like, what is me? Yeah. Yeah, I could never. I never want to sound that way.

I'm privileged and had a good childhood. Of course, my parents are not perfect. We went through our shit. We go through our shit. Nobody's perfect. But yeah, no, I'm, if we're going down that route. Yeah, I'm, I see some people, I can never imagine some of my friends what they went through with lack of parents and parents that I, yeah, I don't want to sound like I'm complaining. Yeah.

Just having a conversation based off boundaries. Because I have the privilege of having both my parents in my life, which I fully appreciate and feel blessed to have. And that's probably also why I cave a lot within shit. Yeah. It's like, dude, I, especially my parents getting older, the amount of deaths in the last two years that have happened. with my family and like surrounding friends. Like, I'm watching my cousins lose their parent. Like, this shit is tough.

Yeah. So that's also probably why I give in a lot, too. Yeah. And then you realize like, man, listen, man, life is short. It's not like they snitched. Yeah, like they, you can come in the house.

You can come in the, like, it's okay. You can come in, come chill, man. Yeah, I think a lot of it is like just remembering for the most part, at least, like the intentions from your parents are like pure. Yeah.

They're doing it because they care. The delivery might not be the best, But they love you. It's pure. Yeah. Sometimes how they say, yeah, it's not the bed, but they mean it, they mean well. Yeah. Sometimes how they convey it is a little like awkward, but it's like at the at the core.

It's love. Yeah. And whereas when I was younger and say like my mom would, you know, constantly, you know, when a parent is so transfixed on you doing one specific thing that they'll just say it a hundred times. Yeah. And then I'll get to that. I'll snap and be like, shut up. I got it.

And then it's like, okay, the younger me would do that. But now I'm saying it, but just in a better. way now. I'll just do the thing and text my mom and say, hey, by the way, got this done. Just ease your nerves. Just relax.

Yeah. Can I ask you guys a question? You have half siblings too, right? Yes. So yeah, I'm not, we're not one here without half. Well, I don't have siblings, but everyone here has

half brothers and half sisters. What is the relationship like and how does that work as being a sibling if you may have a great relationship with your pops? but another sibling doesn't. Like, how does that work? I'm just,

as an only child, I've always been curious about this. A black household horrible. Yeah, why wasn't making it a race thing? No, I mean, but it's difficult.

It's difficult to kind of, like, navigate through that. Um, but I think, like, kind of like this conversation, you just reassure, like,

yo, listen, man, you know, we don't, we're not going to have dad forever. We're not going to have mom forever. Like, yeah, maybe they didn't get it right, but remember, they were just young, trying to figure it out too.

Like, you know, no parent is going to get it right all the time. But if you don't have the same experiences. Yeah, but to Rory's point, which side of the token were you like? Because my two older brothers are my half brothers and they were my dad's first crack at like marriage and a household. That failed. Yeah. I'm the family. I'm the result of the one with me and my brother with me, Kendall and I, that he figured it out.

So that those two sides of the coin, it's like, are you the half that didn't, work out with the marriage or are you the half that did? I definitely didn't work out. So you're on the not workouts. Are you the Bruce Jenner family or the Bruce Kardashian family? I don't know what that means. I don't know what that's kind of weird. Well, Bruce Jenner ran from his original family and then raised 10 kids. Oh yeah, no.

No. It wasn't like that. Like my, my dad was just, you know, battling addiction, in and out of prison. So none of us really had like 100%. Okay. Dad, like a run. Like he was, you know, in and out of, out of the system and, you know,

dealing with his addiction and his, and his mental health and things like that. But as we got older, um, we started to develop that bond. Dad was around more. Um, and you can see him actively trying to make up for the times he wasn't around.

But, you know, like I tell, you know, me and my brother was talking a few years ago and it was like, you got to just tell him like, yo, you don't got to try to make up for that.

Like, it's okay. Like, we're here now. We all have, you know, a healthy relationship now. Let's just keep building on that. Like, don't try to make up for, you know, the mishaps in the past. But it's, I think as long as everybody is open-minded and willing to get to a place of understanding forgiveness,

love, respect, I think it's, you know, it's pretty easy to navigate. But you have to be at that point of forgiveness and not harboring on shit. you know, you weren't around and you weren't at my first game. And it's like, he wasn't at none of our first games. But what are we talking about? I mean, you guys sound very mature in that. I think you guys are kind of an exception to that situation. Would you know what it really is though?

If he wasn't there for any of you, then one of y'all can't be upset with each other. Like, for example, I was, me and my little sister were the kids where like we were like my dad's, like, crack at like really, really raising like a family. So before me and my older siblings' relationship developed and we created a stronger bond, I am a certified daddy's girl. When you didn't have your dad to be that to you, hearing your younger siblings say,

oh, she's a daddy's girl, oh, she's this and that. It can cause resentment in my eye roll. Oh, yeah, he's the greatest dad ever. He wasn't a great dad to me. But that's why I said you got to be at that place of forgiveness, maturity, understanding. like, I think we're just all at that place where it's like, pop, it's cool.

Like, we know. It doesn't happen with everybody. It doesn't. Trust me, I know. I got friends that to this day still hate their parents. But you have to get to that place of forgiveness and just understand like, yo, like, when we're born, we just feel like, because we just know our parents have always been, as always been our parents.

You don't realize, like, yo, they were teenagers at one point. They were trying to figure out life. They were partying. They were trying to, like, have fun. Like, they were trying to figure your shit out. And then add drug addiction into that. It's like as you become an adult and you out in the world and you start looking around, like you just look at some of the friends that you went to school with and where they're

at in their lives now. It's like you understand like, damn, like we was all just in high school now. Like this dude is strung out. This dude is dead. This dude got five kids by four different women. Like you start realizing like, oh shit, this is what our parents went through. Like we are now what our parents were doing, like, well, what they were going through and learning what they were learning. And like, so I can't, you can't put so much, you know, wait on your parents.

So if you weren't there, it's like, they may have tried, but then they were human and they were young and they was trying to figure shit out. And then they got arrested. And, you know, it's like shit, life happens. And having kids and trying to navigate it is not as easy as people make it out to be. It's like, give some grace to your parents for damn. Like, okay, I understand. But only if you know that your parents genuinely are at a place of like, damn, I see where I've. Now, if your parents are still like, well, look, y'all turned out all right.

Like, it's like, yeah, but that's not the energy to have. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, you can't, you can't do that. But I am grateful that in a lot of ways that my dad did have a bunch of kids because family is so big now. I have a bunch of nieces and nephews that are doing beautiful things. I have a bunch of brothers and sisters that are, you know, doing things. And it's like, I get it now.

Like, now I understand it. Like, selfishly, you wanted your parent to be there all the time. but it's like as you become an adult you're like oh this is pretty cool like I got a brother that lives in Arizona I got brother that live in Florida I got sister that live in Texas I got you know what I'm saying so you start I got nieces and nephews all over the map where and they're doing good things and everybody is you know striving it's like I can't be mad like what I'm what exactly what I'd be mad at did your mom ever keep you from absolutely your your other siblings oh no no no not my siblings my dad at one point yes

but only because he was still fighting addiction and shit like that she didn't want me to see that like when it comes to like the baby mamas they don't fuck around with each other it's like I mean it was it was some of that you know when I was young now looking back I know it was some of that but

once we reached a certain age that energy wasn't it wasn't going my mother was always on the side of if you want that relationship then go have that relationship build that relationship She never kept me from it. She, you know, hid certain things for me that she didn't want me to see.

You know what I mean? Just because I was young and she, you know, you're just not at an age where that's the type of things you should be exposed to. But as I got older, my mom was 100% like champion in building a relationship with my dad and my siblings like 100%. Does she have a relationship with any of your siblings that aren't hers? Absolutely. My mom got one of my brothers, uh, the job. that he still currently has. And he's probably had that job for like 20 years.

My mom got him that job. You know what I'm saying? It's like things like that. It's like, yo, we family. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like no matter what, like, yo, we family, bro. Like the way it happened,

maybe, you know, selfishly you wanted things to go a different way. It didn't go that way. So what are we going to do? Just be for the rest of our life? Like that's fucking crazy. Like, hell no, we ain't doing that. But again, you have to be at that space where you're willing to accept that and embrace that.

you can't fight against that like you'll embrace it we're family love each other we only here for a short time don't spend it being upset because you didn't have a relationship with a man that you wanted and you want him to be around and just only be with you like i get it but it didn't go that way when your father was like at the point that it made sense to like start i guess to make amends and all that entire thing were all your siblings on board to have that process or was it kind of staggered and an individual experience with each person

as far as the time it took. But was this like a group chat like hey, we're ready to talk to dad? I think it just got to a point where, and it's funny, I think,

I think death in the families brought us a lot closer. Yeah, that's usually the case. You know, it's unfortunate. But I think that,

like when my brother passed, that was like the, I think that was the, was the moment where it was like, yo, yeah, we have to be here for each other. We have to love each other. We have to spend time with each other. We have to check in on each other. We have to that was the moment where it was like, you know, we have to make sure we have this bond and this connection with each other because we never know. You know what I'm saying? And, you know, one of us goes, it's so many, you know, if you don't have that relationship, there's so many

things unanswered. Yeah. It's so many conversations you didn't get to have and you start to have resentment to that and you just realized like, why didn't we? Why didn't we ever build these moments and these memories and this bond? Like, for what? Like, it's just stupid. And, you know, again, it takes a lot. It takes a, you know, a lot to get to that space, but it's absolutely worth it. And it's beautiful once you get over that hump of personal feelings, personal resentment. man, it's shit like that. Once you get over that hump on the other side of that, it's beautiful. That was really great. Thank you guys for sharing all that.

I've always been very curious with the half-sibling relationship is like growing up. So I appreciate you guys for sharing personal stuff like that. It's fun. You get old, it's fun having a relationship with your siblings. Yeah, that was really cool. Maybe let's, I don't think we're in a damp mood, but let's lighten it up a little bit. Well, I mean, yeah, let's fall into our strongest expertise. Relationship advice. I got scared.

I thought that was going to go somewhere else. I thought it was boundaries. I thought it was boundaries. Honestly, had that conversation not gone, which was great, but had it not gone that longer in that direction, I did have a perfect follow up for that. But let's just switch it up real quick. That's cool.

Hey, guys, it's Mopsy from Jersey, Bayonne to be exact. Maxi. Love the show. Love to marry. She's like a little sister in my head. So let me just get straight to the point. Oh, okay. I've been friends with this guy.

We'll call him John for like 30 plus years. I haven't seen him in maybe about 20 years. So a few weeks ago, he DMs me and tells me that he moved back to my own and he really wants to see me. So I'm like, all right, cool. This is my friend. Let me, you know, let's go meet up with each other. So we meet up with each other.

And he tells me that he's going through a divorce. So I was like, all right. I mean, I'm sorry to hear that, whatever. But then he looks at me and he's like, but you've always been the one that I've always wanted to be with. Which threw me for a loop because, no, I'm just not. He's just never my type. Anyway, gosh, we're hanging out.

Have a good good time. All right. Hold on. Never his type. Never. He was never her type. What do you think happens between them? I'm still a little confused.

He was never her type? They've known each other for 30 years. but haven't seen each other in 20 years. So at 10 years old, they weren't each other's type. He's never been my type. You don't know how old she is. He's in her, I was assumed late 30s, early 40s. So she hasn't seen him in 30 years?

They've known each other for 30 years. But they haven't seen each other in 20 or so. Oh, so they were probably young teenager. Maybe middle school. Maybe 12, 13. Yeah. Oh, he just sounds young. I'm giving her.

I'm giving her use by her tone. was her little sister. So she's probably around like, she's probably between 35 and 40. All right. So even then, though. He was the ugly duckling. But he was a scrawny nerd in school.

It's not like, it's not like we didn't see him in 20 years. We know what he looks like, we got Instagram, you got photo. Like it's not like we're not pen pals. They still know what each heart looks like. Okay.

My point is she's saying he was never, he's never my type. What do you think happens between the two of them? Oh, he fucked. They definitely fuck. A drunk. We end up back at my place and we, we saw this coming.

We sleep together. Swag. So that was Friday night. Saturday night, I tell him to come over just so we can hang out. The next night. Talk for a little bit. But he said he would come over Sunday. Sunday he comes over.

And, of course, we sleep together again. And then that's when he starts telling me how much he misses me, loves me, wants to be with me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Bad thing is, I don't want to be with him. Now, my question is, how can I let him down easy and tell him. I don't want to be with him, but I still do want to be friends with him. This is the easiest. Oh, Max, you're a fucking demon. She's playing the dude in this situation.

You took him out of the friend zone. He's playing the man. Put that warm nooky on him. And now you're trying to put him back in the friend zone? She made the mistake after. Yeah, I hate, I hate women like that. It was fucked up that after you confessed that he really wanted her. And you know he told her that while he was in it.

Oh, oh. Oh, I love you. Oh, yeah. I want to be with you. It sounded like he said that before. I think he said that before. He said that while it was missionary. I think he said it again.

But let's go with her story. They met up before and he said that to her. You're getting divorced, but you were always the one I wanted to be with. You're my fucking soulmate. Yeah. He said, I love you and I want to be with you

while he was hitting it. She was like, oh, nah, you're not really my type. But then, you know, blame it on the alcohol. They went back. He definitely said that while fucking face to face. And she probably responded. She's fucked up for that.

But this is the easiest way to let him down. You're going through a divorce. I don't want to get right into a relationship with someone that's coming out of a long-term divorce. We could be cool. We could be friends. We could fuck around. But nah, like you be single for a little.

No, she's got to stop fucking him. Agreed. She's going to be mature about this. She needs to stop fucking. You're giving like logical real advice. That's not the world we live in. They're going to continue to fuck. Yeah, we have an account for women brain.

So just tell him, you're coming. which is the truth in my opinion he's coming out of a divorce. We can't get a woman and fucking somebody you're not attracted to is crazy. Well that's what I'm saying that's cap. Like you do that when you're young. That's young shit.

You do that when you like, clearly you're attracted to him. You fucked him twice in less than 48 hours. And she told him to come back over. You're attracted to him. It must have been good. If you told him to come back over, it was good. It was good for sure.

She just don't want to be with him. They fuck Friday. She said, let's do this again tomorrow on Saturday. He said, I can't. She said, okay, Sunday. You like this guy. And I don't. Enough to fuck him.

wouldn't put like on it. But the sex was good the first time she had it. She said the first time she had it, she was drunk. Women are crazy. She said the first time she had it, she was drunk. It must have been good. So she did it again. And, you know, and since this is no shade to you, because I don't know you,

some women like the feeling of being wanted and being pursued, but they know they don't want nothing with that man, but it was an ego boost. Men do it all the time to. But she said she's not attracted to him. Yeah. How do you sleep and lay with somebody you're not attracted? I thought she said he's not my type. He's not her type.

So I'll ask you two parts. question. After you fucked with a girl, has she ever said to you, it's crazy this happened, in a polite way. It's crazy this happened. Like, you're not even really my type. It's weird that this happened. And two, were you offended by that? No. I don't really care if I already hit. You can say whatever.

I've had that conversation with more than one woman. They're like, yeah, you're not really my type. It's weird that, like, I like you. You're the only white man I've ever slept with. That's happened before. Have you ever been an experimental white boy? yeah. More so in college. I've been an experimental.

I was going to say I'm always the side step experiment. It happened. I check mad boxes. Because in high school, everyone's just horny and no one really has like experiences. Once I got to college, that's when I had women like, yeah, I've never slept with a white guy.

Yeah. And I'll, you know, I know everyone's incredible and they're amazing and they've never done anything wrong in their lives. I maybe took advantage of that you done. Man, I took it van. Like, all right, bet, I'll be your guinea pick. This white girl. If you're going to give me pussy because you just want to do it. I know you don't really.

It's the theory. I know you don't like me, but I'm not what I'm not going to capitalize. I did it for mother Africa. I was young. I fucked that white girl from Mother Africa. She was like, yo. Pussy, if you ate her pussy, then it wasn't for Mother Africa. You ate white pussy? In my life? You ate colonizer pussy? Of course.

Have I eaten white pussy? You ate colonizer pussy? Well, yeah. I've eaten white pussy. before. Who hasn't eaten white pussy? Are you kidding me? Rory? I've eaten white pussy. Are you kidding me, bro? I'm definitely eating white pussy. I said I asked somebody who didn't eat white bread before. Like, are you kidding me? Who hasn't eaten white pussy? Much more dangerous than white pussy. Absolutely. But I did it from other Africa. I was in there trying all kind of shit on that white girl. She's like, you're the first black guy were? Watch this. I think I might have put on Kuntikinti on Tiber. Turn that pussy into Wakanda. Yeah, I went crazy.

Yeah. I went crazy. I did it for Chad. I did it for Chalwood. I did it for Chalwood. I did it for Chadwick. I was like, yo, listen, man, this is for Chadwick. Yeah, I went crazy. I went crazy. Yeah, what year was this? No, this was like, this was like, two years ago? Okay. This was like three or four years ago. You ain't pussy with white pussy for the first time three years ago? Not for the first. You hit it from the back like this the whole time? For the Bronx. For the Bronx? Oh no, I'm sorry, it's like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did it for the Bronx, though. Yeah. But I feel like women do sleep with people that were not their initial type.

Mm-hmm. and like end up liking them sometimes. Men? So I think you're looking at this different. She didn't straight up be like, yo, I found him ugly as fuck. It wasn't really her type. So without an actual conversation

or a vibe check or chemistry wasn't visually what she usually goes for. That happens with women. That happens with men too. Yeah, but this is somebody she's known for so many years and she always felt like he wasn't her type. So that now, why all of a sudden now

do you give him some pussy. Well, if you have not seen me in 20 years, you don't know me. True. You don't know me. Absolutely. I agree with you and that. You haven't seen me in two years. But that's what makes it.

But that's what makes this situation even more weird to me is because, yo, you don't notice per year. Y'all knew each other when y'all were younger, just kind of re-linked up and kind of getting to know each other again. And then the first time y'all hang out, like, now he gets to have sex? Yeah. Sis, I'm not going to lie to you. Like, I don't know.

And then you want to tell him, like, nah. I ain't feeling you like that And it's like, she played it like a guy That's what I'm, but that's why I'm saying she's a demon You have um You have an easy out because in all honesty This nigga just got a divorce And he's older and now he can't go out here

In these streets and moved away That he used to move when he was younger And you were a safe thing like Oh I have a great relationship with her She's attractive and he Romanticized the fuck out of it Because he's scared to be alone Use that

Just say you don't really want me You're just going through a diverse and you're looking for a safety net and I can't be that for you. See, that's how niggas end up underneath your car. Sorry, what? You park, when she park and go to work,

nigga lay up under the car and put the belt on like Cape Fear. Remember De Niro did that? That's how that happens. Don't put me in the friend zone for 20 plus years. Okay. Then take me out

and then decide you're going to put me back in the friend zone. Don't do that to me. Now, fuck that, man. That shit is fired. You do need to let it. No, fuck that.

It's been a lot of episodes. Fuck that. Should we have her own? No, hell no. Patreon. No. We'll blur her face. Now, we're cool.

I'm not really tripping up that. Change your voice. Just put everything right here, just to put a hologram. I do. All right, 2008 moved to New Jersey. Mark Anderson, senior on the track team, my first week, pulls me aside, puts his arm around me, and says,

yo, if it's from Bayonne, leave it alone. And I've lived and died by that. And I think it, It tells true here. She's from Bayonne, New Jersey. Okay. If it's from Bayonne, leave it alone.

Right across the Hudson. Yeah. Granted, I didn't listen to that advice. Mm-hmm. But maybe this guy should. Do you remember the first black girl you slept with? Yeah. You do?

Did you lose your virginity to a black woman? No. She was half white. Well, Spanish. Okay. Don't. Sorry. We've been doing so well.

What? No. He was going to make a molesting joke. Could have been a black man. Thank you for that, Julie. I mean, it probably wasn't. It was just necessary. Most likely to white.

They knew that. They love doing it. You know I'm in the room, right? Yeah, yeah. I mean, you could tell us. You know like I'm right. You guys are having a side conversation. No, no, no.

I just, all right, my bad. The second girl I ever slept with was black. The first girl was half white, half Spanish. Okay. Got it. Like, you know, the,

she looked more like a dirty, poor white, but it wasn't fully white. Okay. All right. Yeah, Bill's character. Shout out to her. Shout out to all the one night.

So what's the game plan here? She needs to stop playing games. Yeah, man. Stop. Don't do that. You shouldn't take a guy out of the friends on that you had in there for 20 plus years. And then he's going through a divorce. Now you give him some sympathy sex.

Doubling back on this. Yo, doubling back on it is knowing you still don't want him. Like that's crazy. In 48 hours. And you know she just left this voicemail. I bet you they're meeting tonight. Or like at least. And you know why it's really wacky.

because he liked it for so many years he finally got it and then he just opened he just like dumped like yo I love you and he's in such a vulnerable place going through a divorce she's gonna crush him I love you part after he hit he led with that and then you let him hit he led what I love you he was like I've always wanted to be yeah he's different that's different it's worse on her part but no if he didn't leave what I love you though he said I love you why they were having sex or right after he had sex

no that's not what she said when they were when they met. He was like, I've always wanted to be with you. I always saw us together. And that was like him airing out his divorce and his regret for his last relationship. And then she slept with him. And then he said, I love you. And then he said it again, like, because he meant it the first time before they fucked. And then they fucked again. So now you're going to tell my man, after he poured his heart out twice and you gave him pussy both times, you're going to be like, actually, I'm good. She's fucked up. He's fucked up. He emptied his heart. He emptied his heart and his loins.

Which I mean, if you balance it out. 23, 24, not. Is it worth it? Sometimes. I just think she has the easy out because he's coming out of a divorce. She got to move. Like, it's an easy, easy out. Do you remember the first white girl you slept with? What was your first trip to Morris Park as a team?

Who was the first white girl? What Italian girl with a racist father in the Bronx did you fuck? The one Italian girl that I actually dated, her father was cool as fuck. He was super cool. I can't remember the first white girl I slept with, though. Merlin Monroe. I can't. I'm trying to think about who was the first white.

You just get that much pussy. No, I just, I just have been fucking for that many years. The first white girl, I cannot remember who's the first white girl I had sex with. And that's white. I don't remember. I cannot remember the first white girl I slept with. Demaris, remember the first white girl you slept with? I've never slept with a white woman in my life.

Really? Whew. There's some white warriors out there. There's some white warriors out there. I just feel like there's probably a lot of beautiful poor white women in Syracuse that were just giving it up. Why are they got to be poor? Because there's a lot of poor whites in upstate New York. Yeah.

Like an abundance of poor. Like the worst human beings that are. I mean, I stuff with a poor whites are the worst. A mixed girl. She was French and black. Okay. That's nice. She was gorgeous, gorgeous.

A little cappuccino. But, yeah, other than that, what's wrong with you? French mother or black mother? Black mother. Wow. Whoa. She got that seasoning.

She can make you a seasoned croissant. I like that. Spicy. A spicy croissant. That sounds like something Hillary Clinton would eat on the breakfast club. Yeah. Hillary Clinton told me, yeah, I put a hot sauce on her. Dunk her croissant in the hot sauce.

There's another call that is the inverse of this that I forgot I had on here. I think it would be a fun follow for this last one. Yeah, let's do this one. Yo, what's up, Rory, Maul, Julian Demaris, back from Chicago. I need your advice, especially from DeMaris as a relationship to advice. So I apologize in advance. I'm in a situation with this girl. She and I met through Tinder.

We had a really good time together. We clicked. Everything's in sync. But ultimately, my college education comes before anything else. So I told her straight up that I don't want to be in a relationship, but we can be friends, we don't hook up anymore. He says that's fine. I just spoke up with my fiance anyway, but I do still want to hook up.

So I'm cool with that. So we were what I consider to be friends of benefits. Now, the reason why I'm asking for advice is because people tell me that I'm misleading her, because we go for coffee, we go hiking, hang out with her family, she hangs up with my friends. And ultimately things came to a head when she told me that, She feels as though we're in a relationship by every metric but the title. I told her that I thought we were friends with benefits.

So friends come first, benefits come second and sit well with her for some reason. So people are agreeing with her saying my words, we're matching my actions. I'm saying by definition it is because we're friends first, looking up after. You don't go hiking with or grabbing a cup of coffee with your friends. Can you really say your friends? Any advice would help, especially from DeMaris. Thank you guys. Have a good one. Peace. This is another voicemail I want y'all answer to.

Because when I was in the streets, I was this guy. And I thought it was okay because I thought it was more of a respect level. If I'm fucking with you, I want to go do the things that I also like to do with somebody I enjoy fucking and being around. Then you get this whole stamp of like, we're doing relationship shit. Now we're just doing things that I find fun. If we're fucking and I like to be around you We're not going to go go-karting I like to go-kart

We're not just going to go-shart It's not like you're coming at Thanksgiving So We can't just go have fun I can't take you to a restaurant I like because I like to eat that food I'd eat this food if you were here or not But because you're here and I like your company

I like fucking you Why can't we eat these tacos together? So this goes into the conversation That we have a lot About what reality versus perception is, right? So technically, he's not wrong. He's treating her like a friend with the added benefits. But when you're in a situation like that or thinking of a situation like that, you have to look at how other people handle, how the majority handles the same situation as you. The majority

of men, not all, but the majority of men do not treat women that they are not in a relationship with, with dignity, respect, or like they want to spend extra time with each other. Friends with majority. I'm the one that fucks men. What I'm telling you is men are not nice to women that they are not in relationships with a lot and they don't often take women that they're not in relationships with

all these places that he names. It is not often that women you are just fucking are meeting your family and hanging out and going all these places with you and seeing you regularly. That is not a, the average man does not handle things like that. If you're fucking a girl, like I don't think you're into You don't need to meet my damn family.

Exactly. But that's not. What about like? activities. He said a coffee walk. That's my bag. And I'm saying like, all right, what if I'm not ready to be in a relationship and I make that clear from the beginning and we know what it is? We're doing the friends with benefit thing. What if I'm also not good at

dogging women out? What if I'm not good at, yo, 4 a.m., yo bitch, come through to get fucked. What if I's sick? Like, what if after we fuck, I'm like, you know, it's 9 a.m. like, hey, I know, I know a really good diner. Hold me. Do you want to go get some breakfast? I want to be held. We're like, can you? We're definitely want to be held. Of course I want to be held.

Yeah, no. Y'all don't want to be held? No, listen, you guys are wrong. You're not wrong. And you're decent people and people can appreciate that. But what you have to understand is that sometimes you just have to do that with the right person because the wrong person will attach feelings to that. But I also think that you can do that and still establish boundaries throughout that.

Like, you just got to keep dropping that hint that you're not in a relationship. Even when y'all doing shit as friends, you have to keep dropping the hint and like keep reiterating you're the homie with good pussy. Like you're the homie with good pussy. This is not going anywhere. I've been victim. I've been that girl before. You got a bust on her face and give her a pound.

All right. So, I just think gray area can exist in it. So, Demaris, you've been that victim before. I've definitely been victim to that.

For sure. I'm just getting fucked. Okay, hold on. Whoa. I think every person, I've been just fucked before. I'm like,

damn, that's all that she wanted. We've all went into situations where originally this was not supposed to be more than what it was, but a relationship developed or like, you know, feelings developed in this Friends with Benefits thing. We're spending time together. We're doing all these activities together. So in my younger years, I have been victim to that. So you've never just been a nigga just hit and then never just stopped speaking to you? Maybe when I was like, maybe 19, 20? Yeah, I feel like every girl's had that happen.

Everybody's been ghosted. Yeah, everybody's been ghosted before. I think most men have had that happening. No? Absolutely. But also like, I should fire. Another example. Say I want to go to the blue note to see some jazz. I don't want to bring my homeboy. I would want to bring the girl I am currently fucking and like her company. Am I sending relationship signals? You just have to establish to that.

It's just, I think, because I'm listening to jazz with somebody's relationship. But see, that's where I think is fucked up because it goes in my seat. If I took to the little baby show knutted on her face and said, peace, I'm sending the signs that I was just trying to beat. But what if I just like jazz better? taking a girl to the blue note that's some very intimate What if I like the blue note? No, I brought the blue note

in particular for this conversation But don't take that girl that you just smash it Why? I think it is... Okay, but see, this is... That's relationship shit. You taking her out, you're taking her to a jazz club,

that's intimacy, that's like... It's either relationship shit or I'm trying to court you shit. It shouldn't be considered that. I agree with you, but you can't sit up here and say, well, I don't think of it like, this so the rest of the world shouldn't. It don't work like that.

Put it like this. If you take that same girl to the blue note. Okay. And then she then hits you like two weeks later like in a conversation like, yo like I'm really feeling you like now if she starts developing feeling you can't be surprised. Of course not. To go to the fucking Blue Note to see fucking Terris Martin and friends. What the fuck are you talking about?

That's my back. Then he took Julia last time. Like are you kidding me? Like you got it. That's intimacy. That's like that's going to open a woman's emotions up. So I'm glad you brought that up. That would be my next point.

If we have no clear communication of what this is, yes, I would never be mad at a girl looking at me like, you're courting me right now. But if we start out the way this guy said, him and that girl knew they were friends with benefits. We're friends and we're fucking. If I set that tone from the beginning and it's an understanding, you can't then turn around and be like, well, you took me to the blue note so things have changed. I've been very clear that this is friends with benefits and I also love Terris Martin. That doesn't mean relationship now. You're talking about. Terrace is not going to wet us.

If you were clear about that eight months ago, it doesn't mean that it's clear now. You might have, because. That's my point. Because and you just ain't just fucking somebody for eight months. That's what's going on here. You can't have the conversation once and then go extended months with time doing these things. You have to reiterate.

You have to over communicate. When you're towing the line between friends with benefits and borderline relationship behavior, you have to, it's like there's a comedian, that has a joke, Naparazzi about reminding his daughter that the dog is going to die anytime

and he would do it for like six weeks because the doctor said the dog was going to die in like a day, but it never died. So he said, I was so far into it that I just had to keep telling her. You know, so and so sick, she's going to die. And then he said, when it eventually happened, he told her, and it's as if he was the first time he told her that news and she lost her shit.

So in this case, you have to remind her, yo, we're not in a relationship. These things can happen throughout, but it's not going to lead to a relationship. You can't just tell her once and then three months later you take her to the blue note and be like, why is she feeling this way?

Okay, now listen. Because her feelings are changing and she thinks that it's possible that yours have to. Exactly. Let me, I'm the king of that. I've been through that.

I'm the king of, I'm the king of, I'm the king of, you know, you want to go to the blue note. Just let you know, you're not my girl. That's not going to like it.

You're pretty a suave person. How do you say it? Don't call me suav. You can not. You're swavish. Don't call me swavish. You cannot expect, And I'm talking from experience.

I've done that. Yo, this is just, we're just hanging out. We're just friends. It's not. But if you having sex with a girl for 10 months, you cannot be surprised when she starts developing real feelings. I'm telling you, because I've been through this plenty of times. I'm like, damn.

That's your bag. That's my best. I'm telling you, you can't do nothing. You can't do nothing consistently for 10 months and then be surprised at results. I can't go to the gym for 10 months and then get out the shower and be like, damn like I ain't expect to get up nigga what's your thought what's gonna happen after working out for 10

months consistently this is how toxic I am but what's the way before what's the threshold on how long do they get that grace period of just being the friend with benefits before it makes that turn that's exactly what I'm gonna get into

that's how toxic I was if that conversation didn't happen within two months and we did the 10 month thing yeah I think we've entered the realm of we'll probably just be fucking each other forever when we're both single swag

which is like I thought Because it never got brought up in that time. I think we've passed the time of this could be a relationship because no one said anything. Right. And when you go find another guy, I'm not going to feel away. Like, you should be able to go date. But when you're single again, and if I'm single, we're now in this realm of just text me and we can fuck because we like each other's company and sex. Fellas, listen.

It's toxic, but that's all you think. Clarity is key. I'm with y'all. Nah. There's no funny clarity. Trust and believe if you're dating or having sex with a girl for eight to 10 or a year, she's going to develop feelings of a girl. She's going to start feeling like she's your lady.

She's your girlfriend. Especially if you don't make, and this is where I want to talk about their conversation. He's doing all this shit. And I'm getting the feeling that he's only doing it with her. So you're only fucking her. You're only doing all these activities and shit with her. You really enjoy her company.

Like, so when she says this is all relationship shit, what you need to come out and make it clear and say, no, the difference between. that what we're doing in a relationship is the commitment to you, not the commitment to only that I'm only fucking you right now, the commitment to, hey, I have to consider you when I make life choices,

and I am actively making time for you because this is what I have to do. I am committed to this relationship. He's not committed to Shorty. I'm assuming you're not committed to her. You're doing this because this is what you want to do for now. If you ever want to stop doing it, you'll do it. And that's the difference between a relationship and not being in a relationship. is the commitment that I have to do this with this person

because we've made this pack and we've entered into this relationship. So that's what you need to tell her. But yeah, if you're just only fucking her and only doing all these things with her, I don't blame her for getting things misconstrued because what she's used to is if a man is doing this,

he wants to be with me. And if you take it to the blue note, how often are they seeing each other? That's a big part of this too. That's a big part of it. Three days a week? That's a lot. Three days a week, that's your girl,

though. Three days a week, that's your girl. Don't tell me that's not your wifey. If you were three days a week? Well, he didn't say that about assuming it's at least three days a week, which that's relationship. That's your lady. Like, put it like this. If he find out, if he find out she fucking somebody else, he's going to be hurt.

Oh, he's tight. Yeah. That's your lady. Three days a week. You're going to be tight. Yeah. That's your lady, girl. What if it's two days a week?

How are you spreading out the two days? Is it a Monday Friday thing? Tuesday, Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. We can. We can't.

We can't. That's your, nigga. You're going to file each other on your taxes at that point. But then again, if you're linking up after work and both you guys work, that's relationship shit too. Absolutely. Yeah. And here's the thing, though, it's okay to have relationships with multiple women if you want to be like, we're not committed, but like I have a relationship with you, have a relationship with you, have a relationship with, like, don't say that this ain't a relationship, though. That's a relationship.

Yeah. Taking a girl to the blue note and then like seeing her two days or three days a week. That's a friendship. Yeah, it's a friendship. Yeah. not be, yo, this is my girlfriend or this is my, you know, whatever, but that's a relationship. That's somebody that you're in a relationship with. And it's okay. Again, go back to compartmentalize things correctly so that nobody is blindsided, nobody's caught off guard, you know what it is.

Just have that real conversation with each other like, yo, are we sleeping with other people or not? Why is humans are we this bad at this? Because people, humans are always... This is a forever ending topic. Because humans always try to have their cake and eat it to. Humans always try to be sneaky. and his dog eat dog. You know that. Humans always fake afraid to hurt somebody feelings, but they're not really afraid to hurt somebody's feelings. They're afraid to make themselves uncomfortable

and have an uncomfortable conversation. Some people really don't want to hurt people. Of course, no, you don't want to hurt people's feelings, but that's not why you tell, because you know eventually this girl's feelings are going to get hurt. That's not why you don't keep reminding her that she's not your girlfriend. You don't want to do that because it fucks up the mood and that's you being selfish.

There's a cloud in what you're saying. People need to take accountability. People don't want people to find out about how they hurt their feelings. Because they wouldn't hurt their feelings if they never wanted to hurt their feelings. Now it's like, I don't want to tell her what's going on

because it's going to hurt her feelings. You already did what hurt her feelings. Exactly. So don't say you don't want to hurt her feelings. You don't want her to find out and then have to deal with her feelings. But sometimes you can hurt somebody's feelings unintentionally. Of course.

That wasn't my intent to hurt. I didn't know that that would hurt your feelings. Like, you know what I'm saying? And sometimes it happens like that. But also humans are scumbags. and we even all make multiple mistakes even when we know they're wrong only because that person may not find out about it

I could never be like oh I didn't want to hurt her feelings you already did the act that you knew would hurt her fucking feelings you don't want to deal with her knowing that you hurt her feelings that's really all it is

that's why people have to stop with that bullshit I don't want to hurt her you already did she just doesn't know it yet you're not a martyr here. That was my bad. You're being sneaky or no. Ghosting a girl because I didn't want her feelings. Ghosting her hurts. Worse. That was my shit. Like, yo, let me just

ghost her because I don't want to hurt her feelings. It's like, that's going to hurt her. But, I mean, you know, trial and never, you got to go through it a couple times and realize like, damn, that's fucked up. That's whack. You can't do that. Yeah, it just takes accountability. And also, understanding that we all go through these mismanagement and mistakes of what we think we're doing right and doing wrong and give people grace. And just be people.

be honest with people. It's tough to do. You need to figure out why you don't want to be, why you don't want to be with this girl. Because if you're going hiking with her, you're doing all this fun shit, you're taking her to meet your family, your family fuck with her, y'all having sex. I think you said that y'all only having sex with each other. Why don't you want to be with her? Why don't you technically want to be with her?

Because I know why he doesn't want to be with her because she fuck somebody he's cool with. That could be it. She fucked somebody that he close with and he's going to look like, oh, like, yo, you wife did? like you it's that that's what niggas don't niggas don't want that on their jacket you're not wrong that the homie I didn't think it that way at one point he was hitting it and now you hitting it

but you don't want to be the one that's like no he said he met her on Tinder it was your turn and you fell in love he said he met her on Tinder they met each other on Tinder okay I don't mean he didn't she didn't smash my homie no they didn't yeah but my homie got tender too they said that they weren't

the same way as me relationship because didn't she said that she had just gotten out of one and he had just gotten out of one like they had just got out of relationships. You know what young people... And now they're back in one. Young people also fuck up, myself included. Like when you meet a girl in a circumstance that isn't ideal in your brain as the way

you wanted to meet your wife. You can't unsee her as that. Even though it wasn't like a crazy situation at all. It's not like you met her in a fucking train or something. Right. You just, you know, especially when I was in my 20s, meeting a girl on Instagram, it's fine now. Yeah.

But like in 2014, that was like, I don't know if like, yeah, I met her like my mom just asked how I met her. It's on Instagram. It comes off in your brain

at that time very weird and that can't be your story for your wife. Even though everything about her is perfect, there's nothing wrong and how y'all met. We get along great.

It's just not the fantasy that you had in your head right. When you were younger and that blocks you from amazing shit. Same thing. Because what in your 30s

at that point is like, who gives a fuck? Do we like each other? Right. Bet. when you meet girls in clubs or if you meet a girl drunk or even if when you meet her

what my homeboys told me I can't speak for all men is if you meet her and your first thought is oh I want to fuck like I want to fuck her you'll never think of her as like a whole person That's a young young mentality that I had at one point now it's

would never be that but you grow out of that type of shit You said now you say now when you see a girl you don't automatically think like damn I want to fuck her No what he's basically saying Like if you meet a girl

And your first thought is Oh I want to fuck her like That's your only thought is oh, I just want to fuck her. You'll never see her as, oh, I want to get to know her. Because when you saw her, she was drunk in a club having fun with her friends. And your first thought was, I want to fuck her. So now she will always, your, whatever you try to do will always be you just trying to fuck her. You never wanted to get to know her.

You never put her in a, oh, I could date her scenario. Yeah, yeah. Your initial first impression wasn't based off, it wasn't disrespect, but it wasn't respect. It was a physical thing. Let me give some pushback here. It's been a lot of girls that I'd be like, damn, I want to fuck her. after we fuck, I'm like, damn, I like her. Oh, no, no.

You get to really know the person. You hang out, spend time. It's like, oh, she's cool as shit. Jamaris and I are saying the exact same thing you guys are saying. That happens. And right now in my life, that's exactly how I would operate. When you're younger, you have a different mentality, and your judgment is clouded that way. There's plenty of times in my late 20s, when I saw you, I want to fuck that girl.

Fucked her and was like, I like her a lot. I'm not judging her based off that. When you're young, you have dumb impressions. of how you view people, and you can't get out of your head that that's some drunk girl at the club, even though you like her a lot. That first impression is not based off the fairy tale you told yourself. I was never.

We're all saying the same thing. I was never into drunk, drunk, but just like, stay in the club like. Oh, I mean, having a drink or two?

Yeah, like, she lit, she with friends, whatever. But if she said girl that's drunk and like, I want to, I never.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, not like,

not like, just like having fun, having a little club girl that night. Have I fucked, Have I fucked a sloppy drunk rob before? Why do you do that? What? I'm confused.

Yeah, that's odd. No, we're saying. No, you shouldn't do that. Like cute drunk. Yeah, I know what you said. Cute drunk. Yeah. All right, do you guys remember the gentleman that called in that said he was starting the true crime review channel?

Yeah. I do. Yeah. We asked him for a lot more information, gave him my thoughts and pretty good advice. Well, he called back to give us an update on what he's done with his YouTube channel and everything since. He was asking to, like, separate the channels or something like that. Yeah, a few things. He was just starting to monetize. There was a bunch going on. So let's see where he's at. What's going on, gang? It is Mike, the movie review guy that emailed you all about a month ago to give you guys an update on what's been going on since I joined a partner program and kind of end off on a bit of update that.

Could or cannot spark another discussion. I'm not sure. So long story short, I ended up making a separate channel for the true crime stuff. The name of my movie review channel is called Finally Watched it, which was a big reason why I asked the question in the first place because obviously we're doing true crime on the channel. call finally watched it might seem a bit off also i wanted the true crime stuff to have a different editing style so i did start a separate channel for the true crime stuff that channel is called snap finger lore because i cover stuff that like you know this is super popular stuff that you got to snap your fingers to kind of remember now i also am on ticot and i am going to start posting on instagram as well thank you guys for reminding me about just how many potential eyes i'm missing out on just from not posting on those other platforms so i do appreciate that and i do plan on

getting a face cam at some point, I don't have one now because I know that helps with virality and stuff like that and make me more personable. I do plan on getting a face cam at some point. Now, to get into part two, like I said, in my previous email, I was living my grandparents, while I still am and they don't charge me for rent, which they still don't. But recently, my job has been calling for overtime and they said they're going to be like this heading into like the middle of the summer where it's going to be 60 hour work weeks, 10 hour shifts, six days a week, I'm only going to get one day off. And obviously that's going to cause me to really take a step back with content creation.

So what I plan on doing instead is getting the easy little part-time job just to keep my bills paid up that I do have like car insurance and stuff and then just do content creation full time. Not mad at the strategy. Was it more of a statement than a question? Yeah. Yeah, well, it was an update. Well, it just sounds like he's committing to this, making this more of his permanent

stint rather than working around it. But then he has a new job starting the summer that is going to take most of his time. But he's saying he's walking away from that. Oh, he said he's walking away from that job. He said, I'm leaving that because it's six hours, it's six days a week, 10 to 10 hours shifts. He said, I don't have time to really work on this. So I'm going to go get a part-time job so I can do this. Oh, okay.

Focus on this. I think that's smart, though, because some people jump out the window way too quickly when they have their side hustle. And it's like, I'm going to quit my full-time job and just do that. Yeah. It's cool to still keep a part-time job, even if it's some shit that's- I mean, you got to keep money flowing in. Yeah. Even if it's below what you were doing.

doing with your full-time gig, like if you want to go get a job at Starbucks, because the hours work and you can do your side hustle in the meantime, just at least have some income. I think that's extremely smart. Sometimes you've got to take a step back to, you know, focus on what your passion is. And, you know, if it means getting a part-time job just so you could pay, you know, car insurance, cell phone bill, things like, I mean, he's fortunate enough to have grandparents that are letting them live in their house rent free. So he doesn't have, like, a lot of bills.

But, like, you know, just small, his own personal bills. car insurance, cell phone, food, clothes, sneakers, whatever, shit like that. Keep some money coming in. But yeah, good luck, man. Focus on your passion. If you're able to, you know, invest in your passion and build on your passions, I salute anybody that's doing that. It's not easy, especially in these times.

We know that a lot of people are, you know, struggling. So I salute anybody that's trying to actively pursue and build on their passions. Yeah. So I actually wanted to turn that into a wider question leading off of what you guys said. There's a huge rise of content creators because it's like the new entrepreneurial thing because everybody thinks that they can do it. Some people are good at it. Some people are bad at it.

But a lot of people on TikTok, especially who are getting big on TikTok, are quitting their jobs and realizing that they actually, shit is not as even and is not as promising as they thought it would be. What would you guys' advice be to content creators? people who are creating podcast or just doing consecration on social media, what would be your threshold where you could say, okay, you guys should probably quit your job around here? Like, what do you think? Some loose requirements could be. Obviously, not exact.

Everybody's situation is different. Good question, but it is case by case base. I think it's figuring out what your overhead is, what your expenses are, in what type of lifestyle you want to live. Give yourself enough cushion, at least a year's worth of cushion before you quit. a job. Yeah. That's just playing it safe. A year that's a long

runway that a lot of people don't have the luxury of having. Yeah. Yeah, but I mean the standard like a realistic one is three months rent. That's scary. And you're jumping into. Having a having enough liquid income to cost for a year

is extremely difficult. Oh yeah, yeah. For sure it is. But I mean, I'm saying backups like all right, if someone's going to quit their job because their YouTube channel is popping, that means they have income coming in from AdSense, right? I'm saying you should give yourself a year's worth of cushion for each month. I'm not saying you need a year's worth of money where you have no income coming in that you can survive. But if shit goes awful this month, you need to have those reserves there. And I think you need 12 months of that if you're really

going to quit your job and go out there and be safe. And just there's risk takers. Some people don't give a fuck. Yeah. I've been I don't give a fuck. I just don't think everyone's built for that. It's a scary, it's a scary place to kind of working, though, that I don't give a fuck and I'm just going for it. That takes a certain type of person to kind of do that type of shit. I did, uh, yeah, everybody, but everybody's not built for that. You know what I mean?

A lot of people like to be, play it. They play a lot of people spend in, it's unfortunate. And I would recommend people don't live this way, but a lot of people lives their lives just playing it safe their entire life. You know what I'm saying? And not people. Yeah. And I think that's a fucking crazy way to live.

Like, you're just going to live your entire life playing it safe. Like, no. So take chances. I would say take smart, educated chances. Like Rory said, you know, kind of have a cushion, something to fall back on a reserve. Save a year's salary. That's extremely hard for anybody. No matter what your income is saving a year's salary.

I'm saying that each month, knowing your expenses in your overhead, you should have a cushion set aside. for each month of the year because you really never know where things are going to go. So, yeah, it's a... And if that don't work out, man, sell your feet on only fans. You know what I mean? It's a world for everybody.

That's what you telling Mike to do. Karachi got athlete's foot. And I couldn't stop laughing. Karushi has athletes foot. Rishah has beautiful feet. I agree. I'm just saying someone tweeted Karachi as athlete's foot. They're saying that she hasn't shown her pinky toe on the only fans yet.

It was a whole bunch of... It was a whole bunch of dudes in my mention. saving it. She hasn't shown her pinky toe. She's been like leaking photos or teasing photos of her feet. Oh yeah, but on her only fan, she's probably, she's showing her full feet. Like, you got to pay for the full feet.

That's what she's doing. This is a really something people want to pay for her. Yes, Julian. It's one of the biggest fetishes in the world. Yes, it's something that people really want to pay for it. I don't. Oh, it's just her feet. Yeah, just her feet. Yeah, just her feet. Nice. Good for her. Yeah. She probably now, you look up and she didn't make a hundred K. I like the bot.

Pote in feet and more feet only. My girl. If people, if she can make $100,000 taking a photo of her foot from her iPhone, more power. I'll take the photo for you. Yeah, but you know what? We'll do plenty of photos.

What do you want to do? Get the baby oil, I got you. 35 posts. Hmm. Look at Julian. 24.99. $25 a month. Jesus Christ. Somebody's paying.

That's sick. Yeah. Netflix isn't even. People are paying that. $25 to look at some feet. Yeah. Wow. Good for her.

Good for Karoo. I'm sure she's making money. Has to be. I mean, do they show how many people are there? Is that private? I think that's private. Oh. Yeah, I don't think they show that.

Damn. Only fans is crazy. What would you guys show on your OnlyFans? Me and Julian started subscriptions on Instagram. This is what's making us ask you. You started subscriptions on Instagram? Yeah, for our personal pages. People can subscribe to, like,

a private, you could do like private posts, private stories just for your subscribers. So it's kind of like OnlyFans for Instagram, but it's not. You don't need to slap the OnlyFans thing on it. You basically. It kind of is, though. It could not be further from the truth. It's the same business model. Yeah.

I didn't say that it's your showing what you want are only fans, but it's the business model. People are paying a paywall. A subscription. It's Patreon. Well, that being said, I am going to do a beer tutorial on my subscription. So I've been getting a lot of requests about what I do for my beard. And I'll post it on there. with my feet.

I don't know if I was in a jam and there was a high demand for my only fans, what would they be demanding from you? I don't think anything. This is a hypothetical. This is based off the question of how far would you take it. I'm not saying I'm in demand at all. I don't think anyone wants to see any of that.

But like let's say this alternate, the upside down. Let's go with the upside down. Actually, that has to do with kids. Let me leave that one alone. Just an alternate reality. That there was a high demand for my only fans.

I don't, I mean, I'd probably show most of it. Really? We're getting butt ass on the only fans. It's sick. I would show my dick on only fans if I, if I committed to doing the only fan thing.

I show myself fucking. I just don't think people want to see that. Maul, what would you show on your subscriptions? Like, what would you show? Your hats. People want to see my sneakers.

Everybody's been asking to see like my sneaker collection. Pretty close to the feet. That's, that's totally. territory. Well, they do go on your feet, but I'm not showing my feet on Only fans. Like, all subscriptions. Probably like just sneaker collection.

People want to see your day to day, Maul. You could probably break up on subscriptions. I would sound like a hater. Imagine paying to go see some sneakers. You could Google image. Is it like that a little... Damn, Maul got those Air Forcees? It's Google Imaging. It's like that little Asian kid on YouTube that makes it killing just opening toys. Yeah. And other kids want to watch him open toys. Yeah.

Just go to Target. Look at the toy. He'd like it. Something fucked up with our brain. But listen, I can't talk because I'll be on TikTok watching people organize their fridge. Meanwhile, my shit is fucked up. But I'm on TikTok for hours watching people just not even talking,

organize their fridge, clean their bathrooms, and like enthralled for hours. Yeah. I understand. I'm not here to judge anyone. I think it's fucking nuts, but my brain works the same way. I catch myself in rabbit holes. Like, why am I watching this woman fold clothes in her closet? Yeah.

Ooh, there's something nice about folding, though. It's therapeutic. Yeah. There's a huge influx of male creators who are, like, just cleaning their houses, and they have huge family. I will sit up there and watch a man clean his house for hours. Like, it's the greatest shit in the world. And, like, women are going crazy over it.

I think it's because, like, there's, like, the stigma that men don't clean, right? So watching a man just like deep clean his house every day on Instagram, I subscribe immediately. I could do that way. I do that all the time. You should do it. You see my apartment. She's clean as hell.

You should do it. I love cleaning. Yeah. Like this is thoroughly enjoying it. Propping a camera up and then walking away and like doing stuff as if I'm not being filmed. It's just like it's so gay that my mind just won't let me get there. Yeah. They made one of that dude in Target and Target gave him a brand deal.

It does not make that at behavior any. less gay in my mind. Yeah. Well, I thought it was, I thought it's not gay if you're making money from it. I thought that was a lot of gay shit. Bad gay shit cause of money. Actually, they offer you money to do gay shit. Yeah, look at Hollywood.

Yeah, exactly. The contract and the byline says, you think the pride is a 5013 Sina. They are making money on that property. 100%. I mean, I get it. That's a great brand deal. It's like shooting a commercial without a team, if that makes sense.

You're film, you are filming. You are entertaining. Yeah, but shooting. the commercial, but I'm also the cameraman. That's where it gets weird. Like, I got every, I got to keep moving the thing, like, and the, I was just like.

I feel more awkward with my friend holding the camera, watching me sweep. Yeah. It's just like, I can't, as a someone in production, I can't watch those videos without thinking the how it's made side of thing. So like when he puts the, when he parks his car, gets out, puts the camera outside the parking space,

gets back in his car and then pulls the car into the spot just for that shot. I'm like, I can't. I just can't separate, knowing that he got out of his car, already parked it, put the camera up, and then reenacted that again.

Like that, you lost me. Specific to the target things. Like when he sets up the tripod in Target and then walks from outside Target into the building, if I was in that target, I'm taking that tripod and that phone

because they sell it at Target. I'm going to go to the checkout. Yeah. It's throwing, I'm going right in my cart. Content creation is, is, it's an interesting world, man.

Damn, look at this. just that shot alone. That shot, like all of these shots. Come on. You know how long he had to wait for it to be clear in the aisle? Don't even give me the distant shot. Look how far the camera is from where

he's standing. That's some serial killer shit. They gave him a deal. He framed it. He probably put some tape on the floor. Imagine you're the minimum wage register person and this guy's got a camera set up and you're checking him out.

They probably know him by now. He goes there so much. I'm sure, yeah, they know, but I just can't. I mean, can you hate, though? You can't hate. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, you can say it's corny, but. I'm not shitting on anyone that works at a register at Target by any means at all.

But you can't clown someone that's just trying to do their work, too? He's made money. He's at his job, too. First of all, first of all. Most of all, y'all, y'all missing, y'am missing the most serial killer shit out of all of this shit. that Drake re-did it? No, fuck that.

This nigga went home. He went to Target, bought groceries, right? Okay. Went home, cooked herself a meal. True. He sat down in his home with a shirt and tie on and ate a meal. Well, you're hungry. What nigger is eating in his house with a shirt and tie on?

That type of content I would do, but it takes so much time with the editing because it's so much footage and so many different shots. and so many different cuts. It takes way too much time for me, but I would definitely do that time. And you got to go to Target. You look how all of his videos are muted because I bet you 99% of his videos are Drake songs. Well, that's why Drake re did his little sketch thing. Roe, what type of retainer would it take for you to like chill with me on the weekends and go to Target? Five times.

Watch me. Go to Target five times. Bringing an actual videographer to shoot that. It's crazy. Some of them do. Some of them do. I was trying to fly Yomi out to Turks with me. Can't afford it.

She's too expensive. But I wanted to fly Yomi out to Turks with me because my subscription service is going to have all my Turks footage on there. I'm not posting nothing on my regular Instagram. So I want to Yomi to shoot it. Shoot us being thoughts, but like in 4D. In 4D. Being a thought in 4D is hilarious.

4D and 4K. This is a sick. It doesn't really matter the quality. No. Just do thought shit. Well, this was fun. I like Evergreen episodes where we just

Checking on each other And shoot the shits Check it on the listeners Have some fun Uh, voicemails This was cool Yeah There was some in-depth

Emotional stuff Some laughs Mm-hmm Some cries Yeah, this was great Julian cried a little bit You know You keep coming

All right That just comes with the curls Yeah Yeah It's the curl Just dripping down I gave myself a haircut Yesterday

You gave yourself a haircut You can tell Really? That's a combo It looks good I'm not gonna take me Oh you cut your full hair Really?

Yeah I have a product in my air for the first time in my life Your hair looks good man You got a little pomade in now My guy Willis so well connected on Rivington Whatever his like And Alan All right well not let's do you want the actual number

No I just So everyone can pull up Oh your barber you mean Yeah Willis has like his own line of hair product Oh fire. First time I've ever put product in my hair before Ever?

In life? In life Oh shit Shut up years. Swear to God. What about when you grew it out last time? During COVID, I didn't need to put product in my hair.

I was playing Xbox and drinking. Drinking vodka. Yeah, yeah, that was the product. That was the last time I drank vodka was during the pandemic. Yeah, I don't know what I'm doing. My hair, I'm just letting it grow, doing something right now. I think we're all doing that. We're on our hair growth phase.

Yeah. Today, when I went to the barber, after he lined this up, I was like, yeah, I got to at least cut this down. But I didn't, this is still the same. Some off the sides and off the top. None off the top. Just none off the top. Sides and shape up. Yeah. I like it.

All right. This has been a fun episode, gang. We will be back to talk to you guys soon. Be safe. Be blessed. Enjoy the spring. Spring has sprung. Well, not in New York City as of yet. But soon.

We'll talk to y'all soon. Be safe. I'm that nigga. He's your ginger. Peace. This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed human. Thank you.