New Rory & MAL - Episode 378 | Mr. Fred

Episode Date: June 10, 2025

We went out to LA, but we made sure to have you covered by recording an EP before we left. Rory and Mal predict Demaris' time at Burgers and Bottles. That leads to a debate about casual dating, whether or not women REALLY want to hear the truth from their men, and Rory and Mal try to coach Demaris through speed dating. Plus, a nasty rumor that Vanessa Bryant was pregnant leads to a debate about if we'd be in our feelings from beyond the grave, and we suspect a caller's girlfriend might be hatin' on him #volumeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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$25 a month? All the way from. Unlimited talk, text, and... That's a great start of an episode. Yeah. It is Monday. Well, Tuesday, if you're listening to this. Yeah.

The BET Awards just happened. Mall and I just took over LA, shut it down. We didn't shut it. No. L.A. was exactly the same as we came. Nothing, nothing changed. Literally nothing at all. But we are back here and excited for the week.

Yeah. Good to be back home. How are you feeling? I'm good, man. How are you feeling? I'm too bad. This is bad acting as we're wearing the same clothes from a previous episode. It's okay.

Of course it's pre-recorded. Of course. Mall and I are in L.A. We are in L. We actually might be at the B. ET Awards on Monday night. We haven't really decided if we're going to hit the carpet or not. Yeah.

What's your carpet? So this is us talking to our future selves. Yes. In the event that we decide outside of the weekend, we would actually go to the awards. One, what are you wearing? I don't know. I have no idea. You think I know what I'm wearing? We're talking in the future from the past right now.

Yes. I don't know. Something comfortable and casual as always. Okay. Like sweats? Not sweats. I might do some jeans maybe. Okay. I'm trying to think BT Awards 2024 men fashion pause. It's casual, but there's people in suits here.

Usher was giving them the jeans blazer, like, combo us? That's your age group for sure. He always has. Usher's always jeans blazer. If we had to walk the carpet together, how would you feel if I went full gun to? and did the vest with the slacks. I would feel like with my white biceps.

I would feel like I'm ready to go home. Ready to leave right now. You choose not to do it? Yeah, choose not to do it. You go. You don't think Tank and I could wear the same fit? No, I don't. I don't think you and Tane could wear anything remotely close to similar.

Well, yeah, that is something we have to think about if we are, in fact, already been on the carpet. Maybe they already saw us and while they're listening to this, they're like, we already saw Roy pull off the sleeveless fit. Exactly. And then we saw him all exit. Saw him leave because that's exactly what I'll be doing. Yeah. But how's everyone feeling? Damaris, can you talk to your future self?

How did your hosting go? Oh, what amazing. I love that we can also update on our Thursday, Friday episode. We'll have our predictions reviewed. Okay. How did it go? Oh, you know. Meanwhile, she ended up crying in the back seat of a car.

Of course. Nah, not no more. That Damaris is gone. Not no more. Not no more. That Damaris is gone He didn't have my rider together Where did she go?

What Drake said RIP to the girl you used to see Those days are over Y'all don't remember that? Yes Yeah Remember that I just don't know if that's like

What you should be saying It because Is it over? It was a rebirth on Saturday Yeah I told y'all So okay it's Monday It's Tuesday

Yeah I already found my Stefan Diggs Okay Yeah found them When do we get to meet him? You get it to existence? Yeah. We're going to meet him at your album release party. No, but that could be,

we need to meet him like this week. Nah, no. Have them stopped by on Thursday. No, Cardi and them messing around for a while. They popped out at the next game. We're going to pop up at your album release. Like I popped out with my last one, got rid of him. You had popped out with him before that, though.

Yeah, but I don't know if there's that the president you want to keep setting. Yeah. It didn't last. You bought him to the last album release party. That's true. So you want to bring him to the new album release and Yeah. I don't know. This one better.

So we're going to bring him to the album release. You've known for 48 hours. You guys will all meet him and everything's going to be good. I didn't meet the last one. Yes, you did. You did. You just weren't paying attention. I did.

Yeah, he was at the, well, I threw the party for our live after show party too. But you were just miserable. You were ready to go home. We had did a live show. Then I made y'all come to a party that y'all didn't want to come to. He was at the single release as well. Yeah, he was at the single release as well. You've definitely met him.

You was over in the corner talking to Deani. I got a picture, y'all. Okay. That's cute. All right. Yeah. I just feel like it needs to happen before then. If this guy is as good as you say, it's after 24 hours here.

This is your Stefan. Did he take you to brunch the next day? Or did you just like recover? Nah, you know, I got. Or you played a coy. Like, now I have a lot to do tomorrow. Yeah. And also I'm moving this week.

So. Does he helping you? The new Nick I just met 48 hours ago that technically I really haven't met yet because we're talking in the future. No, I don't think he's moving. I don't want him to know where I live yet. Okay. I don't let niggas know where I live till at least six, seven, eight, nine months in.

Damn. No, he definitely got the lie off at the party. You tell a nigga where you live, man. You could live in Brooklyn suddenly a Bronx nigga riding through your neighborhood. No, man, now you got an auntie over here. No, I don't want nobody living where I live. Yes, how I go. You think I don't know.

You don't think I know anyone in Brooklyn? Yeah, I'm in the neighborhood. Like, yeah, but now you're in the neighborhood. Like, you was a Coney Island, nigga before. What you doing over here driving through bedstides? How much you in the area? Move. of all, that's a super red flag. I was in the neighborhood. What guy's doing that?

Well, I'm from a small town, so men did that a lot. Well, you're from a small town. They're always in the neighborhood. Like, it's a small town. If I run to the corner, I'm running past shit. Everyone's on the boulevard. Yeah, we're all on the same street. We all live right here. Go to the same bar. Yeah, same barbershop, same club, same restaurants. It's only what, three date night spots you can go to that's like nice in a small town, I'm saying. Yeah. Just doing that period is creepy, though. In New York too? You live in the Bronx and you just like, yo, I'm in the neighborhood in Brooklyn.

You know, being in the neighborhood, like, yeah. At least do it before you leave it. Like, yo, listen, I got to go to Brooklyn today. Like, you intend to, you and. Damn, we got back-to-back episodes. Two Evergreens and a Patreon. Can't make it. Sorry.

But you should read the situation to begin with if she would even want to see you. Oh, that's first of form. I feel like you would only do the, hey, I'm in the neighborhood if you're already, like, getting evidence that this girl doesn't want to see you. Yeah, you have to be at that. Because if that was the case, she'd be like, yo, come to the neighborhood. Yeah, you know when a girl is like, but she'd be mad if you was in her hood and didn't hit her versus you hitting her when you're in her hood and she's like, yo, why are you telling me that? Like, you're not coming to miles.

Oh, when they're the worst test when they find out you was in their neighborhood and you never hit them? Yeah. It's like, no, I knew I was. When niggas be like, yo, I'm in your city, have fun. Go see the Eiffel Tower. I don't know the fuck you want. I mean, the Statue of Liberty. Tell us someone go see the Eiffel Tower in New York.

Now, keep that instead. I like that, I like that's a bit better. The statue of living like, I can't help you. Like, I, I, I'm not helping you. But you only, only to the guy you don't want to see. Oh, of course. If this is the guy you want to see. I can be laying there with a full body full of hair.

And I will get in the shower and like putting air from my eyebrows down to my toenails. Everything. Everything gone, 20 minutes. Yeah. I don't know. I know. I know all about those days. This is going to sound sick, but it's just because we've gotten older and we've had experiences.

Have you been going to a city for. like over a decade and every time you text that girl, I'm in your city, they do exactly what Demaris just said every single time for a decade. You start thinking like, though, you ain't never been in a relationship. Every time I touch down, no matter what month it is, what random day of the week it is, you're, why are you free all the time? He had worked. That's what you call a soldier. Ready for war. Like you never even been like a. She ready for war at all times. You never catch her. You never not free. She never. She never. She never. on her cycle. Because there's been like times where even chicks you've talked to for that long,

there'll be like months or years where it's like, I'm in a relationship now and like enjoy yourself. If you need something, whatever, just hit me, but I'm a relationship. I want to respect that. Cool. But there's some girls that for a decade, every Tuesday, I could just show up in Arizona and you ready. Ready. That's what you call a soldier. Those are the no limit soldiers right there. And then you feel bad because in your head, you're like, that girl could make a great girlfriend. What is wrong? Because you're only spending at most three days around her at a time. You start to wonder what she's like outside of those days.

You've known her for 10 years, but only in three-day increments. Yeah. Like what's her two-week swag like? Yeah. There's no way this pretty girl that's cool is not in a relationship at some point. Yeah. And then you get upset when she stops answering your text? Well, that's, I'm sure she changed her number.

No, no, no, it's still this. I'll find her email. It's still a email. That's sick. Now that's still a number. I know you're too cool. I know you're too cool. Damaris, when was the last time you send an email to somebody?

You know the emails I'm talking about. Shit go green. You blocked on IG. When was the last time you sent the email out? Well, see, I haven't had to send an email because I'm a cash app girl. I'm going to request a dollar on cash app and send 50 messages. But that was... How many characters are in cash app?

I've only like put an emoji. You can send a couple. Like, you can send a couple. I don't need that many... You get your... Bitch stop playing with me. Bitch, stop playing. You can get that off.

That's not character. Bitch, stop. Yeah. Yeah, I don't take much. There's not a character limit. There is a character limit, but it's the same as like Twitter. It's like 400. Oh, I can get my shit off if it's 140.

Yeah. Well, Rory, were you aware that you have, even when you block somebody, they can still leave your voicemail? Like, you have a blocked voicemails. Oh, I did not know that. Like, folder. Yeah. So, like, even when you block people, they can still live your voicemail.

And then when you go to your blocked voicemail folder, like, you can see all the voicemails. I don't have nobody block. That's funny. Really? Nobody. Because Ma'am, you're so mean. Like, if we were dating, if you were, listen, you're strict.

I'll say you're strict. If we were dating and you were to block me, I mean, if we were dating and you were to say, I don't want to talk to you no more, like, I wouldn't blow your phone up because you strict. Like, you give like, you're not for the games. Like, you give like you meant what the fuck you said. Yeah, I said what I said. Stop playing. We're not even, we're not playing them games on.

You don't have to block no. I don't have to block. Nobody. Nigger say, Rory say he done, man, I know if I call five times I'm gonna get through. And he'll come pick you. Yeah, exactly. Rory that thing. Rory. Sounds like a kind soul.

Yeah, Rory, he'll block her than go pick her up. I'm not a block. I'm not a block person. You've never blocked nobody? I've only blocked like spam number like weird shit. I've never blocked a girl. I just, yeah, never. A nigga cough wrong around me. He blocked. I've been, I've been blocked before.

And I've done the email thing. And I always started like the same way. time. Oh, I guess you're not into communication. Oh, I guess this is how you handle issues. Yeah, someone's not being an adult. Yeah. Yeah. I see you run away from your problems instead of confront them. Exactly. That's how you got to do it. That's starting every email that way. And it's always has to be no subject either. Yeah. I've definitely been blocked though. And I don't know why because I don't blow phones up, but whatever. I mean, maybe I blocked

a number for like the night because they were blowing my phone up. But I've unblocked it. Like, I've never. If I go through my block contacts, it's a bunch of random numbers I do not know. I thought about changing my number. Don't. You've had it for so long. I've had my number. I know you're not going to give us the new one either. No, no, no, you have to have no one. I'm saying, like, it's so many people that know not to hit my phone that still have my number. Yeah. I just, like, I don't know. I just, I feel like I want to change my number. I did, I mean, you guys remember where I had like five different numbers in one. I kept switching my number because I was doing the social cleanse, but this was right before COVID. I've been

fine sense, like only people that need to have my number have it. Because it was before, it was just too many people had my. Yeah. Too many people were hitting me. But that should have clear your mind. Trust me. I encourage it. I would change that shit. Yeah. Yeah. I'm thinking about it.

I'm really thinking about it. At one point, I was doing like once a year. Nah, see that. I can't do that. My little sister does that once every six months. Like who are running from? Well, no, no. It started fucking with like business stuff. At that point. Of course. I got to keep my number.

number because I've had this number definitely since like 2019 or 18 but I was switching my shit a lot because it's I don't know too many people I think Palooza also had a lot to do with it because it was just so many rent like like everybody was yeah even in the Palooza group would give my number to so many people and then like yeah it got to a point where I was like who who the fuck are these people that yeah I can understand that it got way too crazy yeah I can see and I mean of course I was a heart throb so just the hose was just like oh my can I get a break guys yeah Can I get a break, guys?

As I was telling y'all on the last episode, and I said I was going to talk to y'all about it on this one, when I get in a new relationship, I'm going to change my number, but I'm about to start casual date. And Maul said that's how you become a hoe. But I realized I had a self-reli- No, no, that's not. I didn't say that's how you become a ho.

I said, baby, D, about to become a ho. It's a different. What's the difference? It's a difference. I say what I said. I do not feel like I'm about to become a hoe. But what I realized when I looked back on my dating history, I only casually dated from 18 to,

as an adult from 18 to 23, 22, 23. That was it. Since 23, I have been in relationships and then a very toxic situation ship. I have never just dated, just like, oh, I have a date this day and the date. Yeah, like, I haven't just been like, oh, I have a date this week and then I have a date. Like, I don't date. Like, I don't date. I don't have sex with people who are already in love with me.

I caught one new body in the past. seven years. Like, I have to, I wasted my 20s in relationships. So I want to get out in date. You said what? What type of math are you doing though? What do you mean? So you caught one new body. One new body. As in like, everybody. Male, female? Female bodies count. See, this is this is, this is a, come on baby. I don't think they count. Happy pride. See, stop it. It's, yes, it's pride month. Be prideful. How many cats have you licked in the last seven years? Okay.

They cancel each other out. Two cats. Negative one plus second one equals zero, whatever the fuck it is. I've entertained intimately one new male in the past seven years. I've entertained. That's why she dressed this way because she sounded like Jada. Yeah, you sound like Jada at the red table. Like, listen, what do you mean you entertained intimately?

Like, what are you talking about? I was, yeah, I was. You had sex with one new guy. Yes. In the last seven years. Yes. Okay. That's insane.

What did Superhead say? For a girl in her 20s, no? Superhead. said, oh, we collided. When somebody asked her, like, did you fuck this person? Like, well, we collided. Our universe is collided. Yeah, we swapped energies.

Okay. So you're looking back, you're looking to get back into the dating games? Yeah, but I don't know, I don't know how to do it because I've never done it as an adult. I've never done it. So I'm trying to figure out how to be cool and, like, lay back and not jump into a relationship after date three, which is what I usually do. Yeah, I don't think you're built Ho-Tuff. I don't know if Ho-Wing's really.

really for you. But I don't really want a hole. Like, is there only serial monogamous and whole? Is there like no middle ground? No, there's a middle ground. What is it? How? How do I get there? Casual dating? Okay. But I don't know if you're built for casual dating. I don't think I, I don't think I am either, but I don't really have a choice. I can't go and get into another relationship right now. I think that that is, I don't think that's the spot in my life I need to be in right now. Yeah, I don't, I wouldn't say go get into another relationship. But you can have fun. You can casually date, have fun.

How do you have fun? It doesn't have to be, it doesn't have to be, you don't have to be, like, intimate or physical to casually date. You know what I mean, you don't have to have sex for somebody to casually date. Hang out, flirt a little bit, you know. Just to see what happens. But you don't have to, like, don't put that pressure on you. Like, oh, he's going to want some. Yes, he's going to want some pussy.

We all know that. It comes with the date. Yes, it comes with it. Like, no matter how many flowers he sends you, how many good morning. he thinking about that cat. And in his head he's saying, damn, I even asked her to come through. Like, I took her on a date. Obviously, I'm always in some pussy.

But, you know, just, just have fun. Don't put no pressure on it. No pressure. Don't put no pressure. Don't put no pressure. Don't put no expectations. I don't like calling a nigga and he don't answer. Like, I haven't had to deal with that in a very long time.

What you mean? He don't answer. Not, okay, I've called him in and they don't answer. But like, like, I can't cuss you out for not answering. Like, I don't like that. Like, I got to just deal with the fact you didn't answer. You busy? Yeah.

And you don't have to explain to me what you're doing. Like, you don't have to, like, tell me, like, anything. Like, you was just, oh, I was out. I was just out. I can't. That is the toughest part about going from serial monogamy shit, which I've done and then tried to date. Your brain is wired for exactly what you said.

Of course. Like, no, I'm not saying you owe me that. But when you're talking to somebody, you just, that's what you're used to. Yeah. What you're doing where you're not even on like, oh, what the fuck you're doing? You're just used to that update. But that's what you let them know by listening. Like, not talking to somebody for a day.

You're like, wait, what the fuck? Yeah, do they even like me? Like, I don't know. And no, we're the psychopaths in that degree. But let them know, though, baby, deep. Like, let them, I'm not pressing you. I'm not trying to be like, you know what I'm saying? That's scary.

That's like leading with that. No, but you let them know. Like, I'm not, it's not a press. I'm not saying, yo, what you was doing. Like, I'm not pressing you. You just like, you know, that's what you're used to. It's just like, you know, you just, okay. How do I know?

How do I know that they like me? How do you know if they like you? Like for me? Like for me? I mean, what you mean for you? How do I know if they like me for me or if they're just trying to hit? You don't know. They're always trying to.

I just told you step one, baby, D. A nigger is always trying to hit. Like, let's not skip over step one. And also, that doesn't mean a bad thing. He could also want to hit but really like you and get to know you. And want to keep hitting here. I don't know, first of all, okay, let me put it like this. I've been loved by men.

So I know what it feels like to be loved by men. By men. But if, huh? Nothing good. But, but. But as far as the casual dating thing, the slow growth of it all without running and jumping into a relationship, how do I know, like I don't know. How do I know about this person?

You have to take that time so you don't end up in a seven-year toxic situation where you're both trying to prove and disprove that you like each other. You actually have to take the time in the beginning to do so instead of rushing into, which you know, I'm not judging you because I've done it a million times of just immediately hopping into a relationship with somebody that you just like at the time. and then you don't really get to know each other and it ends up being a toxic situation for years instead of taking the time to really get to know them before you hop into anything. Getting to know somebody that way in a relationship

is where the toxic shit starts. After two weeks, it's like move in. You don't even know that. That'd be me. But you don't even know them. That's why it turns into toxic shit because you don't even know them. You're getting to know them

when you've already committed to somebody that you don't even know. Moving after two weeks is crazy, baby D. So you can't do that. I moved in. I think after two months, two months I moved in. Moved in with somebody?

Yeah. That's wild. After two months? It was, we were in love. We were in love. I, okay. Two months is crazy. You're in love with the idea.

Yeah, I don't think you were. No, we really weren't in love each other. Eventually, yeah. It's sad that, yeah, it didn't work out, but we really were in love with each other. But my thing is, okay, so I was having this cut, because I'm asking all my male homeboys about this. Y'all are my male homeboys.

I asked reason about this. He said, I said, okay, so how do I handle if I start having sex with someone, but like I'm casually dating and I start dating somebody else, like obviously I'm not going to speak with them both. Oh, use a hole. Oh.

Use a hole. I told you. Use a ho. Oh. No, I'm sorry, baby. I just had a flashback. Is it Bubba sparks? That's Luda, no.

Is it Luda and Bubba though? Oh, no. Go ahead. So they always trying to put the whites into hip-hop, see. Yeah, I see. Dungeon family. I was just trying to figure out, like, okay, if you're sleeping with one, you really like them, and then you start liking another one, but you don't.

Another one. What kind of like speak about us? Yeah, like one of those. It's just object. I don't know how to operate in that environment. Like, I don't know how to like two people at one time. Like, what do I do? Yes, you do.

You don't want to fuck two people at the same time. Okay, but yeah. But you know how to like two people at the same time. If I'm really, really liking somebody, first of all, I order for me to sleep with you, I have to really, really like you. And then if I'm really, really liking you and really, really liking the sex, how am I going to continue to just casually date other people? I don't know how to, how to make my brain split like that.

Okay, so what you need to do is you need to always remember, this is just fun. I'm casually dating. If you slip and fall into bed and he knock your head through the headboard, when you get up and you go in a shower to get that warm rag, look in the mirror and say this is just fun, DeMaris. This is just fun. a long-term relationship.

Okay. I'm still having fun. Okay, I like him. It's cool to like somebody. I'm not going to say don't like nobody. I like him. Just keep your options, you know. Still keep walking.

That's like at the buffet. You stop at the chicken tenders, but that's not all you put on your plate. Who doesn't love? You love chicken tenders. Of course. You love the chicken tenders, but you got to move on down.

Get some sides. Get some greens, some veggies, a salad, you know. Get your whole spray gone. 48 mozzarella sticks. Yeah. Okay. That's what you got to do.

Have fun. Love your chicken tenders, but leave room on your plate for others, is what I'm saying. Okay. That's all. Are you somebody that wants rigorous honesty in dating? Swallowed your pride right there. You heard how that motherfucker hit. I heard that shit hit her belly button.

That shit went strict boom. Damn, when McKinney was, do you swallowed a sneaker? That was crazy. You heard that. Yo, women can't swallow their pride at all. I do. I do. I do want honesty.

I do. Okay. Let's say we've been on two dates. We've been talking. But what honesty, though? For three. Let's say two weeks. Two weeks, two dates.

Talk whatever. And you say, hey, are you free Tuesday? And I say, no, I'm not. And you're just thinking, because we've just been talking back and forth. Oh, okay. Like, what you got going on? I got a date. I have a date.

Is that the type of honesty? You want that honesty? That shit hurt. I ain't a lot of that shit hurt. I got PTSD. I would like for, okay. I would like for you to feel like you can be honest. I don't want you to feel like you have to be honest about that.

Like if I asked you, you're not answering a question. Oh, okay, I want the honesty. I do want the honesty. But I don't want, I'm cool if I don't get it. either. Like, I'm like, I'm like, if you just tell me you busy and I don't ask a follow-up question, then that's fine. In the scenario you did. I don't want you to lie, but I'm fine if you omit some shit, but I don't want you to lie. Like, if I asked you, hey, I called you last night, where were you? And he's like, oh, I was on a date. I got to eat that. I got to eat that.

But I'm probably not going to, I'm probably not going to do the same. I don't think that men can handle that same amount of honesty. Men, when they find out that other men are entertaining you, there's, from what I've experienced, there's two different types of men. There's one. one that they see that they have competition and they're going to act like a lion and really go hard for it. And then there's someone, they see that they have competition. They're going to fall back and say, oh, I'm not about to be trying to woo you when another nigga is trying to woo you. No, well, for myself, I was at a girl's house. We was just friends, like just home.

I'm sure. And I was at her crib and we was chilling, rolling up smoking, right? And she was like, yeah, you know, this guy, he was about to pull up, whatever, he was about to come through. he's supposed to do something for it, whatever, right? Respected the honesty, gangster, right? Now, I never saw her again after that. Like, I never hit up after that. But I respect the honesty, though.

Like, all, cool. Like, let me get up out your space. You know what I was at her crib, chilling, you know, rolling up smoking, talking shit. Just chilling. She's like, yeah, you know, a friend about to pull up in the feud. She just let me know, like, basically like, you know, So we got to wrap this up.

I respected it. Never saw again after that. Never went to a crib after that. Why? I don't know. If I'm being honest, it wasn't, because it wasn't, again, just homies. It wasn't nothing like, you know,

wasn't trying to really do nothing. But if there's other men actively coming to your crib to, like, kicking and chilling out, I don't need to be in that rotation. Not me. Like, you could take me out of that. You could, I'll go over here. I'll take myself.

the rotation. I took myself out the rotation. But if, and that's why I say, that's why sometimes women lie, because I do know that men feel, you're not the only man that I know feels like that. As far as coming to my crib, nobody's coming to my crib. But as far as just, you know, like, if you feel like you in a rotation, a lot of men don't like feeling like that. So they'll take themselves out of the rotation, whereas it's like, the whole purpose of casual dating is like this shit a rat race. Well, you're going to see who the fuck make it to the finish line. So why take yourself out if you could win. No, no, no, no, because you know why I took myself out of the rotation.

because other men can't handle knowing that a girl has a rotation. So now this dude pull up, I'm near chilling. Say we just, our time just overlap. He pull up sooner than he was supposed to. Yes, that's dangerous. You understand what I'm saying? So that's why I take myself out the equation because I know other dudes can't handle. I'm fine with it.

I'm cool. Like, I'm not tripping. But I know other dudes can't, you know, they can't handle that. They get mad when they know that the girl that they like is. you know, entertaining other guys that they have, even if the guy is just literally just chilling. Like, they don't, they're not going to take that well. And then I don't take answer, asking, getting, you know,

ask questions well. Like, you're not going to question me. Like, if I'm walking out, yo, who you? Fancy now, talk to her. Don't ask me nothing. Don't ask me where I'm from, who I came to see, how long we've been knowing each other. Don't ask me nothing.

Talk to her. She'll give you the rundown. And that's between y'all. I'm out, though. And that's why I take myself out of that because, again, I know what comes with that with other men. Like, they can't handle that. But I would say to you, keep your options open, though. Have fun.

Let them know, listen, I'm not looking for nothing too heavy, too serious. I'm having fun. Getting to know people. But when you say that, then that's when the guy can say, like, I have a date tonight. And say he says that, I know how pay you are the way that's happened to me. Oh, it's going to be a protect on the story in five seconds. Like, what are you saying? next day. Like, oh, how was your little date?

Oh, I'm for sure like, oh, how was your date? Oh, that's what's up. She smelled good. That's what's up. What? It depends. It depends. Anytime a woman that said that, I said, oh, my phone is on when you want to come through after. I've said that and it's worked more than once. My phone is what? If a nigger said that to me, I might be a jail. What you said? My phone is on for when you want to come through after. Thinking I'm about to come. After she left a date? Because I know it's not, I know. I know. I know she's going to like me better. Oh, that's what you meant. I thought you made like after you lead a date, see if I want to come through after you leave a date. No, no, no. If a woman says she's going on a date,

like she going out to dinner with a guy, all right, when dinner's done, hit me. I'll let you know how I go. Nah, don't let me know how your date went. You ain't got to tell me. Like, don't, I don't. But I'm said, like, that's a win or lose situation. There's no gray area with that one. Because when she don't hit you, you're going to feel away. Like, oh, so they did shit after the, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's been the biggest confidence booster when after dinner, yeah, where are you at? Then I know what time it is. But that time, that's a risk.

When she pull up after the date and she's telling you about the date and how whack it was, why she taking her clothes off? Oh, that's that. I mean. God bless your heart. I've had like the situation shifts of 10 years. He got your phone carbs. He got your phone carbs and dropped you off.

He got your favorite martini that give you in that move? Yo, man. See, y'all gonna make people afraid a date. Don't do that. I'm gonna make people, I'm just giving them what's out there. Some of y'all be dropping her off at the nigger crib. That's wild. It's a fact, though.

You can be on a date with a girl. Like, yo, you're going, now I'm going to my friend's house. I'll drop you off. She ain't say what friend it was. She just said she was going to her friend's house. And here you are pulling up. You shouldn't even have no nigger knowing where the, just people are not raised right.

He upstairs on GTA nine hours. you don't have spent four hundred. She got underwear and a toothbrush there. Stop. Y'all are going to make people afraid to date. It's a real thing. Definitely a real thing. Okay, but there are women who don't do that.

It's happened to everybody in both ways. Yeah, there's women that don't, but it's women that do. That's all we're speaking to the women that do. Don't you be one of those women that do, though, baby, do. No, I don't, I don't, that's not. But it's good that you're getting back out there, though, getting back on the dating scene and, you know, seeing what's out there. I'm either going to be back celibate by August or in a relationship by

September. Get rich or I-draud. If y'all know me, y'all know me. I'm either going to be back-sellate by August or in a relationship by- If I ain't rich by 26, I'll be deader in jail. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know.

But why you put, no, but don't put that much. See, no, you can't put that much pressure on it, though. I just know myself. I'm very, I'm trying to break my patterns, but I'm very aware of my patterns. I've gotten rid of my other patterns. Those patterns are blocked. But my, my patterns tend to be, I tend to end up in a relationship. Or I'll go on one date and hate men so much that I'll be like, I'm cool.

Like, I'll be like, I'm cool. bad for me. I can't handle a bad date. I'm cool. I just won't date. But you shouldn't view it that way though. I know. I'm trying to be better. I'm trying to be better. I mean, don't, I know you're not going to spend the block on the toxic relationship, but nothing is more fun when you've had a situation like that that wasn't toxic and you're still cool with her and she's actively telling you about her dating life. Like, oh, I'm going on a date and she'll, you know, y'all not fucking to nothing anymore, but she'll text you like, oh, this was, this was bad, whatever. One of the 10 years. One of the 10 years. things I was talking about I've had these conversations with. Nothing boost your ego more when she goes on a bunch of dates and they're trash. And she thought she was a piece of shit. But y'all still cool. That throat don't look so bad now, do it. These guys is boring, huh? That's why I... Yeah, no, this is what comes to the territory. I may be a piece of shit, but I'm fun. I had to stop dating. And I went on a date one time and called my old shit crying. I said, I hate it out here. I

coming back. These niggas tried to make me take a fucking trained back home from a date. I hate it here. I can't live like this. Come stop being a ho and just let me love you. Stop being a hoax. It's hilarious. Crying, yo. I was like, I cannot get back

out here. But fuck it. I'm back on here now. What's up? See? Back outside. With them fine, niggas. I'm trying to find niggas. I've been cuffed up too long. Let me remind niggas. Yeah, Cardi. That's spoke to your soul, huh? It's going to speak to your soul, too. Me and Mar going to, I'm going to speed dating. and find some holes.

Me and you? I'm down. You don't? For real? Would you go? Speed dating? Yeah. Okay.

I'm gonna find the ones with bad. I'm not looking for nobody at the speed date. What's the speed day that has the bad bitches? Speed day and we have bad bitches. I don't know. I've never done sweet dating. But bad regular women, though. Like the,

like the Jake Cole fans. All right, hold on. Speed dating is like cuck dating to me. How? Are you just watching the girl you like talk to 50 men in one second? It's not 50. It'd be like 12. and it's for like 60 seconds.

And like imagine if you, because the girls move or the guys move? The girls move. No, the guys move. The guys move. Okay, but you're still in the same rotation, right? Like, what if I don't even know more, but he's ahead of me and like the whole time

I'm trying to date. All I can hear is him making every girl laugh after I didn't make her laugh. You know how weird that must feel? That's why speed dating would be rough. Yeah, you can't. You got a speed date. It's just so much going on.

Yeah, it's a lot. That's a lot. I mean, I'm down to go just to have fun with you. And then the girl that doesn't, like the girl doesn't move, she can hear the other guy use the same lines one table over. Like, there's no winning in that entire thing. Yeah, see, I'm, but I'm, I would be a bad speed data. Because if I'm hitting up with my funnies and she ain't laughing, like, look, she laughed. I think she's the one, like, yeah, she laughed.

She thought I was great. Number three thought I was hilarious. Yeah, she thought I was great. Like, I don't know why you're not laughing, but whatever. And so do you exchange numbers? How does it work? I think if you like them at the end, you like exchange.

So you get 60 seconds to get your shit off. 60 seconds to get your shit on. I'm coming in hot. Coming to what you're saying? Come on. Do it right now. 60 seconds. We start in now.

Favorite position. Have you fucked on the first day before? How long did it last? Did you like it? Mom. Spit or swallow. Oh, my fucking. Yeah, you got to get 60 seconds?

We're only 10 seconds in. Yeah. I'm looking at the clock. You got to go to it. I'm not comfortable. answer any of those questions, sir. Why are you here? Because I'm trying to get in a relationship. I'm not just trying to fuck. Okay. So you're trying to get a relationship? What are you looking for? I'm looking for a guy that's like nice, sweet, honest. At a speed date? Yeah. Nobody's honest at a speed

day. We got 60 seconds to lie. Nobody's fucking at a speed date. I'm here every month. You got to get your shit off. You got to get your shit off. You guys have 10 more seconds. You got to get your shit off. I think I'm a serial killer and I think I'm okay, but I did enjoy this time with you. You were funny. Switch. All right, bye. Here's the thing. Let's say there's 20 girls there.

Mall is definitely just by sheer numbers. He's fucking three girls from there based off that approach. Oh my. For sure. I didn't say all,

but there's definitely three girls that are definitely into that exact. Sure knocking three shots down. If you come with that energy, I go three for 12, but I'm not leaving here with anything in my book bag.

Three is crazy. Yeah, three for 12. I went three for 12 tonight, coach. Put me in. All right, but that probably left more of an impression, even if it was a creepy one or hypersexual one to... Everybody will be talking about me. Let's start the clock. Now, what's your name?

Demaris. Oh, like, what do you into? What type of stuff do you like to do? I like to read. I like to dance. I like to cook. I like to entertain my friends. I'm a family-oriented person.

How about you? Okay. I like outdoor sports and, you know, like I'm really into. reading as well. Like, what's your last? I'm like, I'm the guy sitting next to it. He's gay. Like, what is leaving a lasting impression?

What my bullshit or what he did? Yeah. Because he's, you're going to wonder about him after speed dating is over. There's a middle ground, though. There's a middle ground. Like, that dude, you're going to look him up online to like really find that guy to figure out what was wrong. You're going to be mad.

You didn't take my number. No. I'm coming in hot. What time is it? We starting at 36. Hold on. So why are you here? Because you're way too fine to be.

single. Talking to me or the guy next to me. There's too many people going. Sir, can we start the clock again? I don't know what he's talking to. You're talking to me or him. I'm talking to you. See, you got, you got nervous?

He got nervous. All right, so on me? All right. Okay. Three, two, one, go. Okay. So you way too fine to be single. What are you doing here?

You probably said that to the last three guys. Does it matter? Yo, she said the same thing to you? Doesn't matter if I'm saying to you right now? What's up? But you said it one minute to go to somebody else. It doesn't matter. Why do you keep worrying about him when I'm right here?

How are you? Because we sit and thaw to thai. What's your name? My name is Rory. Do you have any kids? Yes. Can you show me a picture ever? Fuck no.

Do you want any more? Not with somebody that says the same thing the last three guys. Why did you come to speed day? And if you're so worried about what the other men doing, are you here for him? No, I'm not. We're just having to be sitting next to each other. Yay. He's too.

nervous. He's shaking. I got him shaking. He blushing his shit. Like, come on now. Um, yes, I would like kids eventually. You would. Okay. So are you interested in like casual dating? Are you looking for something serious? Like, what prompted you to do? Uh, I'm looking for casual into serious. Okay. Rent to buy. 917, 392. Yeah. Wait, that got the number. Yo, man. See, you didn't think my rent to buy line was fire. No. That guy, he's a serial killer. You can't get, nah, see, that's why I can't go speed in because I'll yell at.

But you, he got your number? Nah. Come on, yo. What's funny is I would, I'd probably call her. No, you wouldn't. That's not the girl you want. Why is, hey, what the fuck?

Why is that not the girl you want? No, you don't want that girl. Why? What's wrong with me, Ma? No, nothing is, not you. Nothing is wrong with you. I'm just saying you don't want the girl that a conversation like that, you don't want her number.

Oh, I do, because that's hilarious. See, he's weird. Why? You don't like smooth women more? That was a smooth. That was just funny. Yeah, that was a smooth. That was just funny.

Because you made it awkward. I know. I was writhing you up and you kept being weird. I was smooth. Sam, you too fine to be here is not wrizzing it up. You too fine to be here. I ain't never seen you around here before. Yeah, where you come from?

Because I really would have met that. If we were being serious, I would have met that with, well, why are you here? You don't think highly of yourself? No, that's what you got to say because I knew you was here. See? I knew you was here. See, me and you all have risk. I don't even do this.

I don't even, I don't even, I don't even do this. I have reality. I have reality. I like that. That rich shit is cute at the party. And don't, I can do that for fun, for funzies at the party. I've never seen you give rise. When you be talking to bitches, you be like, you just like you, they love you because you're like awkward, funny.

Peach. You've seen me in action. Right. Peach, hey. Remarkable Remarkable. He's so pissed me off. Pete's being in the back, like he's so good, man.

He's just so good. How does he do it? Look at him, man. Look at him go. Man, I was using that. I feel like we've known each other the line before it was mainstream. Yeah. You was on the ground.

I feel like we've known each other forever. You was indie with that. It's like definitely. Yeah. Grassroots. I was fat beats at the... I was the raucous of that line. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, nah, I only know each other tonight. I just feels like we've known each other forever. I'm just so comfortable around you. Mall, I am tired of seeing these ads where it looks like it's a great price, and then you get the bill later, and it is not what they advertise. But that does not happen with Boost Mobile. You pay $25 a month forever. Did you say $25 a month?

$25. I thought you said $35. Not with Boost. It's $25 every single time. No hidden fees. 5G speed is not available in all areas. After 30 GB, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay $25 a month as long as they remain active on the boost unlimited plan.

I'm John Green. You may know me as the author of The Fault and Our Stars. And now, I guess, also as the co-host of The Away End, a brand new world soccer podcast. I'm Daniel Alarcon, a writer and journalist. And John and I have known each other since we were kids. My first World Cup was Mexico 86. I was nine years old. I watched every game and I fell in love.

On our new podcast, The Away End, we'll see. share with you the magic of international football, all leading up to the 2026 World Cup. For us, soccer, football, is a story we've shared for over 30 years since Daniel was the star player on our high school soccer team. Very debatable. And I was their most loyal and sometimes only fan. I love this game. I love its history, its hope, its heartbreak, and above all, it's beauty. Together, we'll find out why, of all the unimportant things, football, soccer, is the most important. Listen to the away end with Daniel Alarcon and John Green on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're watching the latest season

of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, you already know there's a lot to break down. Gorsha accusing Kelly of sleeping with a merry man. They hold and Kay Michelle back from fighting Drew. Pinky has financial issues. I like the bougie style of Housewives show. I think it looks like it's going to be interesting. On the podcast, reality with the King, I, Carlos King, recap the biggest moments from your favorite reality shows, including the Real House Wise franchise, the drama, the alliances, and the T, everybody's talking about. As an executive producer in reality television, I'm not just watching it.

I understand the game. As somebody who creates shows, I'll even say this. At the end of the day, when people are at home, they want entertainment. To hear this and more, listen to Reality with the King on the IHard Radio as, Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, I'm Joe Rodano. You might know me as that loud guy who yells out, help on the internet.

Help! Somebody! Please! But there's so much more to me than me. I'm an actor. I'm a comedian. And recently, I've become quite the helper myself. And on my new podcast, Hope from a Hippocrat, I'll be changing lives, helping people in need with my sage advice and thoughtful solutions.

Sike! I'm a comedian. I'm not qualified to give good advice. Join me and my comedian friends as we riff, rant, recommend some of the most legally dubious advice known to man. If I'm calling you, even if you're on your phone, let it ring twice. One ring is too scary. Oh, cream of chicken suit.

Hey, cream, cream a chicken suit. This is Help from a Hypocrite, the worst advice from the dumbest people you know. Listen to Help from Hypocrite as part of the Mike Coutura podcast network available on the I-HartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. American Soccer is about to explode. The World Cup is coming.

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I'm not worried about McKinney. My only concern is what happens in the back. The biggest decision, If you're going to look at stats and numbers, he has no shot at making this World Cup team. And the truth about the U.S. national team. It wouldn't be a huge surprise if our team ends up in the quarterfinals or potentially a great run into the semifinals.

The World Cup is almost here. Experience it all with us. Listen, inside American soccer with Tom Bogart and Tab Ramos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcast. We didn't talk about it last week because I didn't really want to give it. too much light because I know it was a rumor of Vanessa Bryant being pregnant and people were tweeting how upset they were about it. I don't care to talk about that rumor because it was false. Even down to like people saying Lauren London was dating, just that topic in general.

Why are people so upset after so many years that people would move on with their lives? Like, I can even speak to it in my family. My cousin passed when I was 15. She was married at the time, I went to her husband's wedding. Mm-hmm. I mean, it was years and years and years later, but, like, people are supposed to just forever be alone? Like, I don't get that. Like, me and my family all went to my cousins, husbands' new wedding. And, like, we love his wife.

She's amazing. She treats us great respectfully. To her daughter, Alexandria, she's an amazing stepmother. like what it's people move on like you know i think with this one is just because obviously you know it being one of the greatest athletes of our time um and then the way in which he passed and you know his daughter and everybody else um that day i think you know again fans just being fans fanatics and wanting to attach themselves too much to the situation and, you know, the family, just expressing themselves and feeling like, you know, Vanessa Bryant should still be in mourning and, you know,

she should never move on, you know, even though Kobe's past, she should never move on and find love again to be happy. That's just, that's just not realistic. That's not reality. even if Vanessa Bryant has moved on and even if she is pregnant, you know, that's, you know, it's her life. She has to move on. She has to, her life continues. She'll carry her daughter and her husband with her forever and the memory of them and the spirit of them. But, you know, she should find happiness and, you know, helpful because we don't think about

her enough mentally where she was losing a daughter and a husband. And the way they passed, you know, such attractive. accident. So for her to even find herself back in a position where, you know, she's dating or, you know, she's looking for love again or companionship or whatever, people should be happy about that to some capacity. You know what I mean? Like, and again, people just need to stop being so involved. Like, that's none of our business. Like, if she moved on, great. If she's pregnant, congrats, you know, God bless. But, you know, just fans being fans and feeling like they have a platform to voice their opinions and, you know, just to talk shit. It's stupid. But, you know,

either way life goes on, people, people die and, you know, tragically. But, you know, the, this, the widow should be allowed to move on at some point. I mean, I think, uh, what Dame and his current wife have is great, because I see Dame honor Alia constantly, especially on her birthday, day of her passing. I see James' wife honor her as well. Yeah, you still love the person. You still love them forever, but it's just life goes on, man. We got to move forward.

Life is going to continue. Life is going to happen. Okay, but from beyond the grave, I don't think you'd be cool with it. Oh, I won't. We spoke about that. Beyond the grave. Yeah, we spoke about that already. No, you're single forever.

The day I die, the day I die, I'm taking that pussy with me. Oh. Yeah. I'm old school baby, do you hear me? You would try to haunt them? Yeah. Good show. What if he, oh my God, I can't imagine if he clapping from the back and like he slapped

your ass a specific way and it's like, damn this remind me a mall. That's fucked up. You were a different type of evil. Like that evil. I thought Ball was being really weird or no. You know, that was like you just took that to like a whole other. You just drop out your eye like damn. It's like in scary movie with a ghost fucker.

Yeah, like this look how you, what's wrong with you? How would your mind even go to that there and stuff? somebody after your husband passes away. Because some things have familiar. Like, what if he got your cologna? Like, I go on a first day. He go to kiss me. He got your cologne on.

Like, damn. You should start breaking down, having an emotional breakdown crying. I am. But what if I really, like, that if a colon on you used to really, like, turn me out.

Like, it ain't supposed to turn me on him? It's not on me. Would that be a sign that you shouldn't be there or that you should? A sign that you should. I think that would be. I would take that as a sign that I was supposed to be there.

Yo, baby D is a fucking. Okay. But as the man that's on the date. devil. How am I a devil? You are somebody I love. And it's reminding me of somebody I love like, damn, like this makes me feel comfort. This makes me feel safe. Like how I'm all used to. Okay. If you told me that on the first day or even we were, we were, we were a year in

gaming. And you brought that up. I would feel really creeped out. I would never tell you. Like, wait. So do you like, am I here because I had that cologne on and I'm the replacement? I'm thinking that just the cologne is what kept me and ended up me in a relationship with you is insane. But that could be a positive. That could be a positive sign. Like, oh, my God, he smells like, Maul.

He smells like he's comforting me. Like, yeah, I feel like that's a good sign. I mean, I'm not more. I would want my significant other to eventually move on. Yeah, you have. No, I would. I'm joking. You have to move on.

Life goes on, man. But, like, if it was within two years, like, I'm definitely, I'm going to be sitting there with Jesus. Like, yo, look at this. I'm thinking you're going to be with Jesus crazy. Like, me and Jesus be like, Come on. But now you got to be careful now because there are some sick people out here.

You know, somebody like a Vanessa Bryant could meet a sick guy who just want the clout of being the guy that Vanessa Bryant was with after Kobe. I don't even think Vanessa Bryant would run into. I get what you're saying. What happens? Don't think it don't. I'm sure it does. But I'm pretty sure that she has enough people around her. I'm pretty sure she has the discernment.

Oh, yeah. I'm just saying not her in particular, but women in her position. Like, got to be careful because absolutely guys would clout chase and be like they would want to be in that position because they know what comes with that. Everything that's happening

on the internet now, they know what comes with that. Unfortunately, like with her moving on with her life, not that I want to make it clear, I don't think Vanessa Bryant would even look my way. But that, in that scenario,

would intimidate me. Like, I know what comes with that. Like, what's the thing? I don't know if I'd want to date the widow of COVID. Like, even if we got along I still, that's a lot of what's going on there. Yeah, I'd feel awkward even going on the first, let's say we had mutual friends.

Like, you guys would get along. She's ready to get back out there. They're like, I think I'm cool. She's beautiful. I think I'm cool. It's definitely heavy. It's a heavy thing to kind of take into account. You know what I mean?

But listen, man, life goes on, man. We all got to move forward. And then Vanessa Bryant is happy. That's all that matters. Well, I hope she. I hope this is, I mean, obviously this shit isn't true. But I do hope that she finds happiness. Yeah, absolutely. She deserves it. She deserves to be happy.

Go ahead. No, what were you about to say? Have you guys had any of these types of situations in your families or lives where that's happened? When my grandfather died, my grandmother started dating again. She was in her older ages. And it was, you know, we all wanted the best for her. I think our thing was just kind of like constantly comparing him to my grandfather. father. It was just kind of like my grandfather was like that and like this ain't that. You know, like, but she, but she's, you were a little about it.

See, that's how they're going, that's how they're going to look at homie that's dating Vanessa Bryant. Think of my, you ain't, you ain't Kobe, nigga. That's like everyone. That's what I'm saying. You can't. You can't be that. You can't go left. You can't hit a free throw with a blown Achilles. Like, you can't, you can't do that. You know what I'm imagine trying to date the person that dated mama mentality. I don't have it. Yeah, yeah. I don't have mama mentality. Have a sneaker's but not if I have a mom

little garden snake mentality. Back to your grandmother dating. How old was your grandmother when she got back out there? She was in her 70s, late 70s? Come on, granny.

Granny, granny, granny, I love you, granny. But cut the shit. You can't get back in a date. Yes, you'd be companionship. In the 70s? Yes. The highest rates of chlamydia

are in the nursing homes. Wait, what? The highest rates of chlamydia are in the nursing homes. We'll check that. Chlamydia runs, chlamydia runs rampant through nursing homes. Baby,

we, nah, I think it's going way crazy in D.C. Where and why, the nursing homes are D.C. Where and why do you have that information?

Because I read. Nursing homes tend to be very high STDs because, I mean, you at that age, you ain't get fuck about no kind and we fucking. Where'd you get chlamydia?

I don't really have nothing to lose. Like, they're fucking, they be fucking and them people don't get checked. Yeah, because they got, who got, She just had a stroke. She got bigger things to worry about than chlamydia.

She just had a stroke. And the amount of medication that they're taken in penicillin, like the fact that an STD could survive in their body is crazy. Yeah. While specific up to the minute data on, I love when they say up to the minute, up to the minute data. What time is it? Clamydia rates in nursing homes by location is limited.

It's clear that STIs, including chlamydia, are on the rise among older adults, including those in nursing homes. The overall trend indicates that the number of chlamydia cases among those age 65 and older has more than tripled between 2010 and 20. Oh, that's because when they get older, they feel like they don't know how much time they got left to fuck. Yeah, they just fucking. That doesn't mean that the highest rate of the clap is in there.

It's just tripled sense. But I'm saying you always have to find the source. Like, have you ever watched the AIDS documentaries where they try to find out exactly like who fucked who to get the entire thing? What young bull fucked a granny? brought that shit into the male nurses in that. It doesn't have to be a young boy. Granny could have had chlamydia or grandpa could have had chlamydia because you know old niggas do not go to the doctor.

Grandpa could have had chlamydia for fucking 30 years and he was only fucking his wife so they both just had it and then she died and now he don't went to the nurse at home. That's she just goes away without medicine. If you're thinking niggins don't be having fucking STDs for fuck 20 some years, these older people, these older people aren't going to the doctors

to get their dick swabbed bro, especially if they're unsympomatic or asymptomatic, they're not going to do that. They just got that shit. HPV, syphilis, a lot of things die from syphilis before they know they even got syphilis. Yeah. Yeah, I guess at that age, you just happy your shit still work. Yeah, they don't get fucked.

Yeah, if my shit worked at that age, clemity is the last thing in my mind. It ain't going to work. Just because you older don't mean you stop missing companionship and love. Yeah. Companionship and love is different. Climity is another thing. I would, well, I didn't say my granny got to clap for companionship.

Older people would be fucking. Okay, so Granny got back out there. there? Yeah, she had a little boyfriend. Okay. She needs somebody around the house. You need that companionship, that company. Yeah, she had a little boy. I ain't mad at that. Go ahead, Granny. What? You're going to call him Grandpa? Me? I don't know that, nigger.

My grandfather, like, Granny, get all my love for respect. That nigga? Who is that? I don't know that. Tell us about the war. Yeah. Now, Granny bringing somebody to a holiday would be kind of crazy, though. Yeah, your grandmother walk. with a new boyfriend on the holiday after your grandfather died. It's like, what are we going to do?

We can't beat the, we can't jump them. And that has to be intimidating on the other side, too, because, like, just dating somebody with a kid is a thing in itself. You got five kids, 10 grandchildren. Like, I'm just walking into that shit. And they always front. And older dudes always fun,

like they just take your grandmother to run errands. You know, I'll just take it to go get her groceries. And, yeah. You went there fucking my grandmother, sir. Shut up. You stop making it seem like you just pick my grandmother up like you accessory ride or something. Nigger, you take my grandmother to get

her groceries and then go back and eat her groceries, you know. It's not just bingo on Tuesdays. Yeah. She got new, she got new house dresses. She's walking around in now all of a sudden. Smelling different. Yeah, them slippers. They made the same slippers you had on two, for the last three years, man. New slippers.

She's getting a head done now. Got them little pin curls in there all day. Randy, what you doing? You in there, fucking. You in there. She got Hulu at the Cribendale. How your grandmother got a streaming service now? Yeah.

Granny in there, humping. Un there. I'm hoping Mr. Fred. It's always a Mr. Fred, too. He wants you to call him Mr. Nicky. I'm not calling you Mr. Fred, digger.

In my 30s. I'm a grown fucking Mr. Fred. Get the fuck out of it. I think that was his name, too. It's always a Mr. Fred. His name was Michael, but you called him Mr. Fred. Mr. Fred.

I would want Granny to get fucked into her grave, though, for sure. I mean, that's what she want. I don't want to see it. though. I'm not suggesting to see it. Yeah, I don't want to see it. I don't even want to know about it, but have fun, Granny, do what you do. But like, once she passed, like, you're not a part of this. No, I think, I don't do that. You're not front row. You're not in the front pew.

He has to be. That's family. Don't do that. You're not entitled to... If your grandmother has a boyfriend and your grandmother passes away, he's allowed to come to the funeral. You're both now. No, he can go to the funeral. I never said that. You're not in the first family pew. Why not? It's going to be pew-pew. What do you fuck you talking about? In the first pew? Yes. That's your grandmother. There's certain cousins that don't even make the first pew. That's fine. That's her boyfriend. That's her boyfriend. That was her man. He knew her intimately. Yeah. He was taking care of her the days you didn't want to go to Grand East House. Mr. Fred was dead. Making a breakfast. Mr. Fred was dead. How long were they dating? 10 years. Oh,

all right. No, no, 10 years of course. That's what you're saying. Because I even think five years. I think five years. I No, five years. No, five years. You start, you bugging out. You bugging out. You bugging. That's five Christmases. She's 75. She only got five left. She's dead. She's in the casket. She only had five left, but ain't my fault.

Five years, you're Pew three. And if my grandfather's still alive, he's P-1. You're disrespectful. Is he a polar? Five years in. He can't carry no goddamn casket. He's going to be neck. Toy Shams.

He, his funeral next week. Like what you're talking about? Can he be a poor guy? And he'll do that bullshit. Now that she died. I'm dying. No, no, no, no. You just owed.

Yeah. I had to go with that. go with her. I had to go with her. I broke it heart. Yeah. I had to go with her. Okay, but you know there's part of the back of the pallbearer. You don't really have to carry anything. You could just be there for show. I've been a pole bear enough times I know what I know the weight distribution. Yeah, he walks behind a casket. He walks right behind a casket. Five years. Yeah. Fuck no. You are a with her. You all caught with the amount of cousins. uncles. I'm going to keep a real with you. I'm I'm gonna keep a real true.

Your grandmother died. God bless her. So I guarantee you, Shane, fuck with 75% of your cousins. And you know that. True. I guarantee you. She love her.

My grandmother and my grandfather pulled me aside when I was like 20 when I was at St. Peter's. No, it was right before I got kicked out. So 19 and said, it's really just up to you. I swear to God.

Both my grandparents are dead. And thank God they paused. like, pause, died together. I don't know where there was a pause there. And there was not a Mr. Fred anywhere around, but they really pulled me aside and said it's really up to you. Your grandparents died together? No.

Like a week or two? So, a month? My grandfather died during COVID. He fell down the steps and then COVID happened. He wasn't able to see anybody. So, like, his health deteriorated right away. And he passed. And then my only Republican uncle was like,

they're just folding them into the COVID numbers. I was like, Uncle Paul, now is like, of all the times that you want to talk about your Republican bullshit, like, can we just not do this right now? Yeah. So my grandmother had Alzheimer's and my grandfather refused to ever go to a home. That's why he fell down the steps. Prideful Irish guy. Grandma had Alzheimer's, was taking care of her. She went from uncle, aunt house to house, and it got too crazy, so she went to a home.

And the doctor said the only reason she stayed alive was because of her Alzheimer's. Because every day she forgot that he died. And then we were talking to the doctor when she passed. And he was like, it takes a while with patients from Alzheimer's for their body to set in that the person was gone. And I was like, oh, wow, that was like deeply fucking romantic, doc. Wow. But yeah, Alzheimer's can keep, because they were together since they were 19.

My grandfather died when he was 93. My grandmother died when she was 91, 92. Crazy. And he was like, yeah, Alzheimer's makes them forget that shit. and it took her body more time to figure that shit out. And then I was like, my grandfather was wearing that out if it took her body some time.

We never needed Mr. Fred. Knock the memory out of him. No. All right. Okay. My bad. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, man.

But with that said, if my grandmother dated somebody else five years, no. Even if she didn't fuck with my cousins that don't even come around and check on anybody, they're a pallbearer before Mr. Fred, for sure. Yeah.

You don't get to be a ball bear. You can walk behind the casket or right behind the casket. Pew three. That was my girlfriend. That was my lady, my missus. He loved her. Yeah. But we don't even know, like, did you claim her like that?

Like, I don't even know what you else. They lived together. How you claim, how you claim people when you owe? Like, how you, like, y'all go to church together? No, you do with Cardi and Stefan da. You post each other on the IG. There's a lot of women that are struck up to a theater on claim. They was a girlfriend too and they wasn't.

You're not even Pew three. That happens. That happens. And they've been dating for 15 years. Yeah, that happens. You find out somebody got a kids, you ain't even know you wasn't in 15 years. But you got kids? You just with her for 15 years.

She ain't know you got kids. I've seen some crazy shit at funerals, man. Funerals, it's going to come out. I'm dead and gone. Fuck it. Y'all do what y'all want, man. I ain't here. I have anxiety from the grave.

Please, Lord. Please. Don't let nobody sit next to each other. Don't let nobody talk. You know, niggas be at the repast talking about good times. Time start overlapping. Time start up. Seven years.

Seven years. Seven years. It's always seven. It's always seven. Five or seven. Depending on what it is, it's five or seven. Five or seven. Always.

It's always seven. Seven years ago. Which side of your family are you more worried about with funerals? As far as what? Shit being exposed or how it's going to go. My mom's side. My dad's side. My mom's side of the family.

is certified crazy. Certified. Some shit going to happen at a funeral in my mom's side. My dad's side is going to be louder and more obnoxious, maybe more physical, but everything's going to be fine.

My mother's side scares me more because it'll be like, you know you touch kids, right? Like it'll be the very subtle weird shit that they'll hold. I'm more terrified on my mother's side when it comes to funerals. More insane shit is going to come out

on her side. My dad's side is going to be loud, angry drunk people. Yeah. And everyone will be fine after. You're going to hear some dark shit. Like, yeah, nobody brought this up when he was alive? I don't know why y' ain't here crying about Uncle Teddy. You know what he used to do.

You know what he used to. That's my mom's side. Yeah, no. I can see that. Like, I thought we're here to honor him, not bring out his deepest dark. You know, he's been at every Thanksgiving. What the fuck? Right.

So, either way. Stay away from Mr. Fred. Nah, shout out to Mr. Fred's around the world. Yeah. Shout out to them. Taking care of grandmothers in their later. Taking care of grandmothers in their later years after their spouse passed away. I'm John Green.

You may know me as the author of The Fault and Our Stars. And now, I guess, also is the co-host of The Away End, a brand new world soccer podcast. I'm Daniel Alarcon, a writer and journalist. And John and I have known each other since we were kids. My first World Cup was Mexico 86. I was nine years old. I watched every game and I fell in love. On our new podcast, The Away End, we'll share with you the magic.

of international football, all leading up to the 2026 World Cup. For us, soccer, football, is a story we've shared for over 30 years since Daniel was the star player on our high school soccer team. Very debatable. And I was there most loyal and sometimes only fan. I love this game. I love its history, its hope, it's heartbreak, and above all, it's beauty. Together, we'll find out why, of all the unimportant things,

football, soccer, is the most important. Listen to the Away End with Daniel Auerkone and John Green on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jared Adano. You might know me as that loud guy who yells out, help on the internet. Help! Somebody! Please! But there's so much more to me than that. I'm an actor. I'm a comedian. And recently, I've become quite the helper myself. And on my new podcast, Hope from a Hippocrite, I'll be changing lives, helping people in need. with my sage advice and thoughtful solutions. Sike, I'm a comedian.

I'm not qualified to give good advice. Join me and my comedian friends as we riff, rant, recommend some of the most legally dubious advice known to man. If I'm calling you, even if you're on your phone, let it ring twice. One ring is too scary. Cream of chicken suit.

Hey, cream. Cream a chicken suit. This is help from a hypocrite, the worst advice from the dumbest people you know. Listen to Help from Hypocrite as part of the Mike Coultera podcast network available on the IFart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're watching the latest season of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, you already know there's a lot to break down. Orsha accusing Kelly of sleeping with a merry man. They holding Kay Michelle back from fighting Drew. Pinky has financial issues.

I like the bougie style of Housewives show. I think it looks like to be interesting. On the podcast, Reality with the King, I, Carlos King, recap the biggest moments from your favorite reality shows, including the Real Housewives franchise, the drama, the alliances, and the team everybody's talking about. As an executive producer in reality television, I'm not just watching it. I understand the game. As somebody who creates shows, I'll even say this. At the end of the day, when people are at home, they want entertainment.

To hear this and more, listen to Reality with the King on the IHard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Daniel Jeremiah. And I'm Greg Rosenthal. And this is 40s and free agents. The games may be over, but the NFL never stopped. This is my favorite part of the calendar. Yeah, mine too, Greg, free agency, the combine, the NFL draft Pro Days, trades. This is where teams reshape their future.

This is where Daniel Jeremiah makes his money on 40s and free agency. we break down every move that actually matters. From my draft evaluations, mock drafts, and team fits, to my top 101 free agents and how real rosters are built, cap space, contracts, and all the tough decisions included. You got quarterbacks on the move? We got teams rebuilding. It's hope season.

Yeah, absolutely. It's hope season. We'll tell you what's real, what's noise, and what it means for your favorite team. Smart analysis, real conversations every week. I don't know about the smart, but definitely analysis. Listen to 40s and free agents

on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, yeah, that got dark. Let's get to voicemails. Let's do it. And, of course, sponsored by Roe.

Roe Sparks. Roe helps you grow. Can't spell Rory without Roe. I was going crazy in L.A. with the row. Really? They was called me Rowe, Ro Ro Ro.

And everyone's like, oh, it's like, no, no, no, it's different. You don't understand. Okay. Fine. Hey, what's going on, Rory, Maheris? I enjoy the show. I'm going to keep this anonymous. Two-part question. One, what is the dumbest argument you've had in a relationship?

And while I express my dumbest part of argument in relationship, let me know if I'm in the right or wrong. So my job got rid of the telework, so I go in five days a week now. And it just makes sense to join the gym at my job. And ever since I've joined, I go to the gym at least four times a week now. My wife hit me up the other day and we're just like, you know, I think you need to either slow down or just stop so you can allow me sometimes just to catch up. But my problem is she hasn't been motivated to work out. Granted, I haven't stopped working out myself, but, you know, it was just like, you know, I don't know if there's any type of insecurities for why she will want get a stop or slow down and yet she's not doing anything or so. I understand that women,

loves de Maris's perspective on this as well. But I understand, you know, women can have some insecurities. I still find my wife attractive, beautiful, all that. But, you know, we definitely bump heads with it because I haven't stopped, but yet she hasn't started. And I just want to know who was in the right or wrong. And I have all, you know, we do go walking together as a couple. That's good.

You know, a couple times a week when I come home for work. But that's where it stops. So am I right, wrong? Let me know. Yeah. Women are the fucking worst. Yeah, you're not wrong at all. I know they say,

I'm, Damara says women are always right, which is not true, but you're not wrong at all. You're doing what's best for you and what's best for your body. If she's feeling insecure because you getting finer and she doesn't like the way that she looked, then that's her problem and she needs to work on that. As long as you're being encouraging to her and loving her, like you said that you are,

which you probably don't even care if she lose weight. That's her thing. Then you're doing everything right that you can. You should not stop working out because she hasn't gotten her ass up to do it. Now, if you want to go be super, super boyfriend, you can come up with some creative way to motivate her, but that's not your job and that's not on your plate. Nobody is going to make her lose weight for her. So she needs to get in the gym and do what the fuck she has to do. Or risk getting her niggins snatch by his one of them fine bitches at the gym. I don't know.

I'm just saying. If you're making it worse by that. Sorry, but if you had worried about him and him looking fine, that's motivation. My motivation is, oh my God, my nigga look mad good. Somebody might snatch him from me? Now, I'm getting my ass up. Hitting him. that treadmill. But that's just me. She ain't, she don't want it badly enough. And I feel like if Rose were reversed, she would bring that up in an argument that she'd be at the gym looking great and you just don't be doing shit. Women, women suck. I mean, also, you know, maybe he just need to find a way to kind of start maybe, instead of going to the gym, start right there in the house. Or yeah, the time that they do their walks, maybe do something a bit more than walk.

Dude, bring the, bring the work out to the crib. Do something in the crib. That shouldn't be on him. No, I mean, but again, when you're married, and this is your partner, you know what I'm saying? Sometimes you recognize your partner's a little bit of a rut, maybe a little bit of depression. It's your job to kind of like, you know, ease them out of that, help them out of that, find their way again, find their, get their foot up, their footing underneath them again. Maybe she don't want to go to the gym. Maybe that's a stretch. So bring the gym to her.

Work out in the house, do some things around the house. Then that'll go into, you know, let's go for a walk. What are they doing, walk, man? Let's go for a run now. maybe get the Apple watches and kind of like challenge each other weekly. That's good. You know, things like that kind of, you know, just to let her know, like, you're my wife.

I love her. You look great. I'm still attracted to you. But like, let's challenge ourselves to like, you know, transition and transform it to, you know, get into the best shape that we probably ever been in our lives. Like, I think that's, you know, it's ways to do it. Maybe it's getting her to actually go to the gym is too much of a jump right now. So reel it in a little bit, start working all that home.

Yeah, there's a bunch of apps and shit on YouTube. Like, pull that shit up on the TV and start there. Like, just got back from work. Let's take 15, 20 minutes at most and do this. Because the gym can be intimidating to some people. Like, they go. Yeah, for sure. And, you know, it's just like everybody else is in shape.

And people, you know, are lifting heavier weights and doing more reps and not breathing as heavy as you are and things like that. So, yeah, so, you know, start starting a house where nobody can see you. Nobody can see you struggling. Nobody can see how you look right now. And then, you know, you open it up to getting into the gym and changing it. And then do maybe do some fun workouts with her. Maybe go to like, you know, a cool, you know, hot yoga class.

Go to some, you know, cycling classes. You know, they try to make the workout experience fun. Go to some cool Pilates, whatever, something like that. Just make it something that, you know, you think your woman would be interested in as well. Not just feel like she's going to the gym to work out because she's. out of shape. Make it feel like a fun activity, but it's also, you know, strenuous on the body. If you have the

extra funds, if you have it, I know most people just don't, but if you have the extra funds, get her a personal trainer as a gift. See, hold on, time out. What? A woman personal trainer? Ma'am, come on, bro. It doesn't matter. It does matter. Why does it matter?

Because these personal trainers are nasty. I'm not against you there. Yes. There are a lot of weird, pervy, personal trainer. Yeah. Never's a woman? Oh. Nobody.

But not every male personal trainer is a fucking pervert. I'm not saying every. I'm saying much. But there's definitely. I don't even want to say both. There's the photographers and the personal trainers.

Yes. There's a lot of perves in that business. Get a female trainer. Women know women. They know each other's bodies. They know what they're feeling. They know. Yes, but women don't.

From my experience, I've had both. The man was better for me because he was stricter. He was just stricter. And probably because of my relationship with my father, I probably respected his dynamic a little bit more

when he would tell me to do stuff. Like, a girl ain't about to yell at me. I just can't. You ain't about to yell at me. Fuck you you're talking to. But like, when men yell at me, it's like, all right, I hear you.

I'll do whatever you're saying. That's dark. That's for Mr. Fred. I don't feel like that's dark. I just wasn't. I was taught to respect male authority. Were you? I was.

Not charged, nigga. But like, I'm paying you. Like what the fuck? I'm actually putting money in your fucking. You're paying the trainer. Like what the fuck? All right.

It is what it is. No, but I'm just, I feel like women will sometimes having a male. And also with some women that I've seen, I had a friend that had a personal trainer, it can be, you were looking at her body and wondering why her body isn't doing,

why your body isn't doing what her body is doing. And it can be a distraction. You can feel, you know, you sit next to some fine-ass woman. Yeah, but that's insecurity. It is. Ain't no training going to help that. But she's insecure, period. Yeah, so that's why you get a woman training.

You can be like, girl, I want my body like, so then put the fucking potato salad down. Damn, I love potato salad down. See, that's what I'm saying. But that's why your striations ain't shown. Put the potato salad down. The muscles right here? Your striations is, you know, when it's cut, when it's definition.

I'm saying, get your striations right. Okay. Do you just give her pecks when you went like that? Yeah, my mom can have nice little, you know. Get her a good personal trainer. if she's more comfortable with a woman, that's fine. Get her a good personal trainer if you have the extra funds for it. I think that that's a good, like, you know?

Because sometimes when your partner is motivating you, like, it's tougher because you don't feel like you, like if I'm supposed to meet my partner at the gym, I don't feel bad about canceling on them because it's my partner. We live together. It's like, I don't want to go. I don't want to go. If my partner is paying somebody to be at the gym and they're waiting for me to be there at 8 a.m., it's more motivation of like, fuck, I don't want to go.

I don't want to go, but I have to go. I find the, well, not the opposite per se, but if I'm working out with a partner, that keeps me more honest with everything. Like, I can cancel myself. I can just be like, I'm tired. But if my partner's like, we're going at this time, I would feel obligated to do it. Well, yeah, no, for sure. But I'm just talking about in comparison to the personal trainer. Like a person, like, I can, I can guilt my part.

Like, I can be like, baby, we're really sleepy, have sex with him and go to sleep. And neither one of us will feel any guilt. If he's paying a personal trainer, it's like, I have to go. Like, I can't make any excuses. Yeah, no, that's what he needs. I don't want to sleep with them because you want to have sex tonight. We got to go to the gym. That's a former manipulation.

It's a great manipulation. It will work on me. Yeah, but that's not how much. I will come in this bitch looking like Tyra Banks. Exactly. You want me to knock that? Let's get, let's knock this workout out. Come back in the house and knock headboard.

You know what I. Okay. What happens when you have sex with him and he still goes to the gym? And I just saw a viral video of a girl with her whole ass cheese out at the gym. If I'm worried about you, she's not. Not with tights on. Like she had her ass. out. It was damn near a thong and...

I was doing that. People trying to go viral on the internet. Yeah. Which I think, and mind you, she looked good, but like, what the fuck you doing? Nobody wants to see that shit in the gym. I mean, people want to see it. No, I don't. I don't. I never used to mad. I do. No. I need to stay... I do. No. Same with the Lizzo combo at the Lakers game. Keep your ass cheeks out of public. Well, yes, at the Lakers game, yeah. At the gym, too. I don't care what your cheeks look good. Don't we at the gym.

Like, put something on. Yeah, but what if she's a physique model? I don't know if she's a physique model She has to see, make sure everything is looking, She's about to go. No, she was on live, like doing squats With her whole ass out. This is a, you're a planet fitness.

The fuck are you doing. Let me know which planet fitness was off air. Off air. I haven't seen that. Off air, we'll do that. Or which one got to ask. I will tell you that gym off mic more. But let's get out of here in the meantime

so you can make the gym. Let's do that. All right, we'll be back in a couple days to talk to y'all. Until then. As always, be safe. Be blessed. I'm that nigger.

He's just ginger. Peace. This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed human.